pretty much, i also wanna die real bad too

Yes. Life is an endless cycle of misery.

>>16508801
Talk to your boyfriend about it.
If you're in love, he'll try to understand and want to offer better solutions than strangers on 4chan.

>>16508823
>>16508812
Jesus what is this

>>16508812
>>16508823
Quit making someone else's issues about >>16508827
yourself and go whine in your own thread you pathetic leeches.

>>16508801

Sounds like a legitimate illness.

Maybe schizoid personality or severe depression

That sleepwalking thing you're talking about is typically classified as a mild symptom of psychosis--not the psychosis you are thinking about, but high levels of depressive hormones etc.

>>16508834
OP's question was: "Is this real life for everyone else?" So those answers were appropriate.

>>16508801
>dosent understand why you cant live your fantasy while being with the bf that loves you ......

That's rough. Sounds eerily similar to my issue.
Best way I found to fix it is double down on what I like and keep myself busy. I work out a lot more, play more video games, and do my best to keep happy. It's an uphill battle sometimes. Wouldn't trade it for the world.

Any trips to a behavioral therapist yet OP?

>>16508838
>>16508843
I have no history of mental illness in my life, but lots of other medical stuff; I've never been one to take medicine, I would rather not treat it as clinical.

I also feel better when I'm busy creatively, but it's often impossible in the past few months; between work and social life I have hardly enough time to complete one creative project at a time, and I get overwhelmed with how few hours there are in a day and how little I can accomplish with all sorts of planned works, even though I'm aware most people do not do so.

Thank you for all responses.

>>16508870

>I do not believe in medicine or science

Go to a doctor you fucking attention whore

>>16508922
They'd just give her SSRI's which are shit anyway.

>>16508922
I don't recall saying that I don't believe in science, I just grew up watching my father deal with mountains of medical problems and all the side-effects and complications that come with drugs, and as >>16508932 pointed out, I've never heard a good review of taking antidepressants from several friends (and my boyfriend, for that matter, who is not opposed to drugs in general, as he takes them for his psychosis).

I'm a source of income for my family and for him and myself at the moment, and I work a physical trade that requires hand-eye: I'm not sure doping myself will help anything.

How would I go about finding a therapist anyway? I have little spare money.

Single bump if anyone has advice for acquiring a medical therapist/psychologist, whatever it is.