Sorry I just reread that and am kind of drunk. I had 3 years of sobriety and broke today when my son told me he doesn't want to live with me anymore.

Unless you can show that he's being dangerous or neglectful, then there isn't much you can do. Two questions, then:

1) Why did you keep your son away from his father? Have you told your son why?
2) What is your son's father telling him? If you cannot keep him away, you may still be able to counter his words.

>>16490309
Sounds like his dad is doing him a favor with regards to women, desu senpai. The whole gentlemen shtick just leads to more Elliott Rodgers.

Have you tried crying? That worked on me sometimes when my parents were getting divorced.

>>16490338
I kept him away for some things that were pretty petty when I look back at it now I guess. I had been drinking a lot and he didn't want to be around me. He tried to take our son to meet his family in New York which I agreed with and I changed my mind at the last minute (while drunk mind you) and he told me to fuck off and he never came back. He kept trying to see our son but since he was so far away it was difficult for him to have anytime with him as the laws were pretty much on my side about custody.

2 years ago or so he started getting custody and it seems like everything bad I told him about his father is biting me in the ass now, as his father was not that bad of a guy back then.

Also one of my exes beat him and me quite badly a few years ago and his father spun that around to be my fault.

His father is telling him that I am a whore and a bad mother and that it's my fault that we are poor. Even though he doesn't realize that because he left he made us poor!

I keep trying to explain to my son that his dad is a liar but he does not believe me.

>>16490348
Fuck yourself! people like you are the problem in this world and why men treat women so horribly.

>>16490378
Smh desu senpai. Males want to get laid. If you want men to be gentlemen, you gotta get their generation of women to fuck the gentlemen. It takes two to tango.

>>16490418
Fuck off troll

Unless you can help me with my son go away.

>>16490433
Maybe you should be gr8ful I'm bumping your thread you drunk whore :3

>>16490368

This MUST be bait.

>>16490368

Honestly, it sounds like you're the liar, and you don't want your precious son hearing more than one side of any story about you.

You never should've kept them apart like that. I don't even think you understand what a spiteful, nasty thing that was to do to your son. You get caught up in your desire to "punish" your husband, and you don't really care that your child is the one being hurt by all this. Unless his father is dangerous or abusive, you have no right to deny them from having a relationship with each other.

The best thing you can do now, is nothing. Calm down, stop trying to "fight back," just LISTEN TO YOUR SON for once, and let him have some time with his father if that's what he wants. Your family's all torn up right now, you need to stop causing damage, and start letting it heal.

>>16490368
holy shit what a whore

>>16490309
>His father is making him hate me I think over the fact that I kept him away from his son for 5 years.


im not here to start an argument - but no fucking shit.

you chose to bring a life into this world with this man.

dont use the state to get your own way - talk and COMMUNICATE with your son/ex

stuff like this pisses me the fuck off. you have no right to disallow your sons free will because you are not comfortable.

>>16490368
If this isn't bait, the fathers right. Kill yourself you fucking dumb whore, you're not even close to being fit to be a mother.

You're the exact fucking reason I ran away from home after I learned my mom and ppl like you in general are the stupidest, evilest, fucking ppl I've ever met and I'm happy to know your son hates you and I hope to god you never see him again

Fuck

Why not just tell the truth and tell your son that you are a flawed human being that made foolish mistakes? Yes, it was wrong of you to keep your son from his father for five years, but that was in the past. Just promise you're doing your best to make it better instead of doing this he-said she-said shit. If your ex wants to be petty about it and fill your son's head with this, there's nothing you can do but your best and hope he makes a better decision about things.

He's at an age where he's going to rebel against you no matter what. He's feeling some independence and dad is feeding that. Make clear his boundaries at home, and be consistent about enforcing those boundaries. If you don't want certain language in your home, then penalize him. Take away his electronics, ground him, and make him do chores if he doesn't listen, but don't argue with him about what his dad says.

>>16490789

>that was in the past
>If your ex wants to be petty about it and fill your son's head with this, there's nothing you can do
>be petty about it

The only reason she's "allowing" them to see each other is because the courts forced her to, and she came here asking for ways to legally force a separation AGAIN. Like right now, today, that's what she's here for.

For FIVE YEARS this kid couldn't see his father, just to satisfy OP's spiteful desire to "punish" her ex. Do you have any idea how horrible that really is?

Either you didn't actually read the thread, or you're a fucking idiot

>>16490804
It is petty to bring the child into your problems. Extremely petty.

You've probably never been the kid in this situation, but it fucking sucks when your parents use you as a weapon against each other. NOTHING can justify that.

>>16490811

But that was exactly what OP did, and is still attempting to do, in a MUCH more extreme way than anything she's even accused her husband of doing.

>>16490819
That's why I said that she should drop the shit and be honest with her son instead of spewing vitrol against dad in one ear while dad does the same about mom in the other.

>>16490325

How the FUCK did you keep if a kid if you were a damned drunk?

>>16490348
This.

Honestly, the fact that you've had to be forced to let him see his own father, and the fact that you are an addict makes me question how much you are fuckin' telling us.

And given what I've heard of the courts, I woudln't be damned surprised to find out if you've lied to the damned kid too, and the courts, just to get what you wanted, rather than what was for the kids best interest.

Hell, the father is being a good influence on him, and if you care about your damned son at all, you'll discourage him from marriage and women too.

>>16490823

Yeah fair enough. I just thought the statement "that's all in the past" was kind of stupid, considering that she doesn't even seem to be aware of the hurt and damage she's caused so far. It's pretty useless to try to sweep the past under the rug, when that person has not changed or learned any lessons from their mistakes yet.

>>16490843
When there's a kid involved, it's different. The kid didn't have any part in what happened, this has always been mom and dad's problem. Making the past an ongoing thing in a child's life is not fair whatsoever to the poor kid. If anything, mom and dad should seek counseling with a mediator and hash out their problems there, preferably to come to some kind of agreement about being civil around their son, for his sake.

but lol we know that won't happen because OP isn't interested in being fair

This is exactly why men should avoid women as much as possible.
The pussy is not worth this mental retardation.
Good luck to the kid.

>>16490851
>but lol we know that won't happen because OP isn't interested in being fair

What do you expect, modern women.

I mean, notice how in the first post she was pretending to be the victim here, but gradually more information came out and we realised, "holy shit, she did it to herself".

I get it, I'm very sympathetic to women who actually are victims of horrible crimes and situations and such, I am.
Like, if a woman end up with a guy that beats her, it's sad...

The first couple of times. Third of fourth guy beating her and you start to say "mmm... maybe she's got a type".

Then when she complains about "nice guys" who're evil and manipulative because they try to make her happy in order to win her affection, rather than y'know, using coercion like her boyfriends... You eventually realise that while the assholes who throw the punches are too blame, she's not entirely blameless either. She's the one making the same mistake over and over again expecting different results.

And that's my point.

Don't expect much in the way of decency or responsibility from the modern woman.

>>16490860
you hate women in general

>>16490860

This barely even relates to the thread. And for what it's worth, people like you are a major part of this very problem you're complaining about. You lump all women into one group and judge them as a species, giving the worst individuals of the bunch (like OP) a free pass from taking full responsibility for their choices and actions.

>>16490939
That was almost word for word his closing statement. Thank you Mr. Analyst.

>>16490939
THats cause women in general are shit.

>I kept him away from his son for 5 years.

See there's your problem you're a cunt

>>16490811
Indeed, it is extremely petty to use your kid as a weapon against your ex. Some might even call it abusive, both to the kid and to the ex. But from what she's said in this thread, it sounds like she's the one who first escalated to kid-as-weapon tactics, and she's only sorry that they stopped working. The father shouldn't be teaching his son that all women are this way, but this is nothing if not a consequence of her actions.

But I AM curious as to how she managed to maintain full custody of the kid while being an alcoholic. Mother-bias in family law is a thing, but few family courts are THIS egregious about it. History always adds up, but this story doesn't: not yet, anyway. There's more here.

>>16491265
I'm not going to lie I know that I am a fuck up. I started drinking again yesterday and am extremely hung over right now.

I am sorry for everything that I have done.

The worse thing is that his father said that he would hate me later on when he was a baby. As he grew and I made bad decisions he still loved me because he did not know his father.

His father has honestly gotten his shit together since we have been apart and my son likes being at his place more than mine and as a 12 year old he can tell the difference from the past living with me and him currently living with his father.

It is better and I can't deny it. I feel like an awful person and I guess you can call me selfish but I never in a million years did I think my son would hate me.


I only want to make this right and I guess I was being petty back then and now I am reaping what I sow.

Is there any way I can keep my son from hating me when his father hates me? I asked him to forgive me and he won't. He says that I ruined his chances of having a normal family life and even though I feel he cannot blame me for that as unhappy people should not be together, my son is buying into this tonight as well.

I will let him stay with his father but understand as a mother it hurts to know that a child I struggled with in labour for 16 hours will hate me is too much.

This is why I am trying to do legal means if necessary to keep him from his fathers toxic mindset.

>>16491265
Also I cannot lie his father was not that bad and honestly better than me even in the past, but courts did not want to help him since he had no money at that time.

When he left to New York he never came back to California which made custody for him a lot harder since he was so far away.

That piece of shit bid his time though and now he has moved to where we live now in Texas and he gets to see his father once twice a month.

I read the whole thread and kinda don't understand. Why did you even have kids if you're so fucked up? What do you mean kept your child from his father? And why?

What are your reasons?

>>16490710
To everyone saying she's a whore, it doesn't sound like the dad is any better for supposedly making his son think all women are whores. So it's not just a case of "I think the mother is bad, therefore the father must be a good person"

>>16492325
Most teens hate their parents with a fiery vengeance at some point or another. Just do the best you can and it will pass as long as you're not a total piece of shit. Dad can tell all the lies he wants, but one day he will be old enough to see the truth for himself.

So just suffer the teen years and do your best.

>>16490939
Never as much as they hate themselves

>>16492325

See this is the whole thing. You make this whole post where you seem to recognize the weight of your actions, and want to do better. And then at the end, you say this:

>I will let him stay with his father but understand as a mother it hurts to know that a child I struggled with in labour for 16 hours will hate me is too much. This is why I am trying to do legal means if necessary to keep him from his fathers toxic mindset.

I don't think his father's mindset is toxic. You've already admitted that your son is better off with his father right now. Everything that's gone wrong so far is a direct result of your need for confrontation, competition, and "victory" over the kid's father. If you want to heal, if you don't want your son to hate you, YOU AND THE FATHER NEED TO START WORKING TOGETHER.

It's going to be a slow process. Accept that. You're going to have to earn your son's trust again, and it will take time.

Right now, at this moment, the best thing you can do is just stop. Listen to your son. If he wants to be with his father, let him be with his father. Take this time to get your own shit together. Get your drinking under control.

When you feel ready, reach out to the father, ask if you can come visit. The three of you together. You're going to have to learn to at least be polite and civil with this guy. Even if you're not romantically together as husband and wife, you have a child together. You're family, whether you like it or not. Stop attacking and dividing that family, and start working on healing.

>>16492325

>it hurts to know that a child I struggled with in labour for 16 hours will hate me is too much.

It's literally your own fault for being a stupid drunkard and fucking up your family.

You did this yourself. You kept him away from his father and now all your lies are coming back.

You really have no right to feel slighted at all, no matter what you did for this kid. You raised the kid on a pile of lies and now your son is being made aware of it.

Do you know how damaging that is for a child? That every single thing that his mother told him is a fucking lie? The mother that is supposed to be the ONLY person that he can 100% trust at all times with anything and everything in his entire life?

You don't deserve any sympathy at all.

>>16490368

you had this coming

>>16492325
You need to talk to the father, one on one, and apologize for everything. Instead of making him fight to see his child, you come to an agreement and do what you can to work together. This is the only way that your ex will forgive you and will stop this nonsense. You can never make up for the past, because they will never get those years back. But you can do your best to give them both what they need RIGHT NOW.

Every post of yours has been about how YOU feel, but you don't even seem to consider the two other important people in your life. What about them and what they want/need? Stop being selfish and be a mom. It's hard sometimes, but you chose this life.

>>16490309
have you ever thought of letting him live with the dad? It wouldnt be so bad.
I mean, in like 5 years, you kid was gonna go off to college anyway.
Just let him hang out with his dad for a while.
he might love it and thank you later for letting have that experience, or he might hate it and want to come back home.
Eh trust me, as evil as your kid see's you now, when you move away from a parent you love, it hurts. And as much as you don't think your kid doesn't love you, he does. Don't sweat it.

>>16492325

If you're not a troll, if you're a real person, you're a straight-up sociopath. God damn.

>So, I kept my son away from his father for five years out of nothing but petty spite. I can see now that my actions caused needless pain and suffering. My son needs his father, and I can now see how important it is for them to be in each other's lives. I truly want to do better, I want my family to heal, I don't want us all to hate each other anymore.

>But, y'know, if it's LEGAL for me to just take my son away from his father again, keep him to myself, and brainwash him until he loves ME and only ME, then of course I'd rather do that. But only if it's legal. If not, we'll do the healing thing, I guess.

>>16490762
Alex?

we miss you bro