Don't we have just this thread on the front page already?

so if i'm an ugly dude (easily in the lowest 1% of the population) i should basically give up right?

i mean, there MIGHT be some beautiful soul femanon who take pity on me one time. but no one will ever like me genuinely.

so femanons: should i an hero or not?

>>16470558
It just hit the bump limit.

Women (who didn't answer this the last time I asked): what do you have going on in your life as far as recreation, entertainment, etc. are concerned? I'm talking about your life outside of school/work/other responsibilities.

>>16470558
>what is the bump limit

>>16470558
Do you even 4chan?

>>16470560
I don't really care

>>16470567
I volunteer for a couple of hours once a week. I'm also a casual gamer and I also like to read, hang out with friends, and cooking/baking is a big interest of mine. I also have stereotypically female interests like clothes and makeup, assuming you're not going to use the 'those aren't real hobbies!' line in response. I spend a fair bit of time watching youtube in relation to those last three things I mentioned.

>>16470580
It's not a loaded question, but I think you may have indeed answered this last time I asked. Either that or you are shockingly similar to another femanon.

>>16470580
>my hobbies are clothes and makeup, which are legit hobbies mind you

Ayy lmao

This is to women mostly, I guess.
How many of you have anxiety?
I bet it's a bunch. Otherwise you wouldn't be here, eh?

Anyways, my best bud has a new GF, and she's anxious like a fucking Chihuahua.
How should I interact with you?

She's always asking questions about everything. So many of them dumb.
I get that she's asking them because she's nervous and shit, but I don't get it.

I'm not a friendly type person and I think I make her nervous.

I want to make up to her because I owe it to my bro.
How would can I do that?

Why don't women seem to enjoy RTS games

>>16470580
>I don't really care
evidently

i can't even pay people to care.

>>16470591
What exactly did you do? Maybe try to act friendly, or don't get pissed off at her asking questions.

>>16470604
Because being a woman is one giant RTS game. Every day is a marathon of navigating and juggling relationships with friends, loved ones, partners, work people, etc. Men do this as well, but not to the extent that women do. Women spend an insane amount of time and energy every day making sure all of their social ducks are in a row, in addition to "everybody things" like work, school, chores/tasks, etc. It's exhausting as fuck. If they want to play a video game, it's going to be something quick, easy and relaxing. Not thought intensive, stressful or intense.

>>16470584
I did answer a similar question a few threads back, I assumed you were a different anon

>>16470586
>hurr durr women have no hobbies
Gee, haven't heard that one before

>>16470567
I love cooking, drawing, and I hike or go drinking most weekends. I also like to shop. I waste a lot of time online too.
Most weeknights I cook dinner for me and my boyfriend, watch a show while we eat dinner and then waste time til bed.
Not very interesting, sorry.

>>16470604
I prefer turnbased

>>16470622
Don't worry, I'm not trying to measure how interesting women are in their free time. Thanks for the response.

>>16470617
>Everyday life is strategy for me, you cannot expect me to think after everyday life

Holy fuck.

>>16470617
>>>/r9k/

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>>16470617
>Because being a woman is one giant RTS game. Every day is a marathon of navigating and juggling relationships with friends, loved ones, partners, work people, etc.

what do girls in their early twenties (21-24) look for in a long term relationship? ie: job, hobbies, personality, etc.

>>16470567
well I'm lucky enough that my work is what I used to do for recreation, but other than that I like concerts and anime and video games

>>16470560
No, of course not.

>>16470711
Someone who actually understands other human beings.

I'm not being an ass. It's just an obvious flaw that you have if you're asking a question like that. Literally every possible answer is correct for some girls out there. But if you think that this is actually an answerable question, you must have almost no ability to actually relate to girls. That's really bad.

>>16470711
Personality? A best friend I can have sex with (which involves being attracted to you)
Jobs? I don't expect you to have a career established, though I do expect you to be working towards a degree (that you're not doing for the wrong reasons) or have a vague idea of what you want to do and be working towards it
Hobbies? Anything goes, as long as it's not dangerous or illegal. I prefer the indoors, so having indoor hobbies are more likely to make you compatible with me

>>16470567
Bird watching, sewing, watching cartoons and anime, cooking, reading, nature walks, gardening, doodling, spoopy stuff, fashion, spending time with my loved ones.

>>16470604
I'm just no good at games in general

>>16470764
>I'm just no good at games in general
There's always Crusader Kings in your future

>>16470764
Pretty sure you might have answered previously too. An interesting side-effect of this question is finding out how small the pool of women on /adv/ really is.

>>16470767
That's not Zoo Tycoon 2

>>16470771
Hmmm I don't think I have. Maybe the girls on /adv/ have similar interests.

>>16470778
They do, but the combination of loved ones, nature walks, sewing and doodling all came together in a previous response and the first three aren't commonly referenced ones.

Close friend is a sister in a sorority at my uni. Basically my big sister during my entire college career (let's call her C). She just got a little, who coincidentally became my 'protege' through a mentorship program (let's call her N). I've gotten to know her pretty well after the semester and I've been thinking about asking her out, but I don't fuck up somewhere.... would it be a good idea to talk to C about it?

>>16470604
The only RTS I play is Civ V. I only recently started playing, but never tried RTS games before it. However, I thoroughly enjoy playing it. I can't vouch for why other girls might not like RTS games though. I guess they just don't find them appealing?

>>16470736
lol you must not be able to "actually understand human beings," if you can't comprehend why I'm asking this question. Don't try to chide me when you can't understand my perspective, and If you don't have any advice then don't bother responding to me.

"you must have almost no ability to actually relate to men. That's really bad."

You sound insufferable and uppity

>>16470748
Okay cool. I already have my degree and a pretty nice position lined up. I have some real "academic" hobbies (learning languages, writing essays, researching topics) but I don't really know how to get my partners/dates involved in that. Sometimes I feel like I'm alienating someone when they get close to me, because I spend so much time working on these personal hobbies. Hard to really get someone involved in a language unless they want to learn English, basically.

I'm giving my girlfriend flowers tomorrow because I feel like she is slowly starting to drift away from me. I love very very much and I need to apologize for not being as open as I could be to her. I just don't know exactly what to say, my thoughts are all over the place.
What would you say when apologizing for a mistake?

>>16470785
Huh. Interesting. Maybe I did and am totally blanking.

>>16470800
>you can't understand my perspective
Considering how your response to the other anon is about how much you suck at relating to and connecting to your partners/dates, it sounds like I named your issue exactly.

Don't get mad at me because someone finally called you out for being a grown adult who can't understand how 50% of the population thinks. Especially don't get mad when it wasn't an insult but rather a grave warning about a major issue that you got saddled with in your life. Someone fucked up horribly to let you grow up needing to be told what women seek in relationships.

I'm being serious with you here. It's almost like an adult just walked up to me and told me that they don't know how to read. I wouldn't look down on them. I'd feel immense horror and pity for their situation.

Ladies:

>Be at art event
>People invited to paint a little bit onto a tile
>Find myself using the color pink
>Female stranger next to me chimes in positively about my use of pink and purple as a guy
>Not sure if she's trying to imply that she thinks that I'm gay and is stating her approval, coming onto me in some weird way, or just making a statement that not many guys are comfortable with pink and purple

I'm pretty obtuse when it comes to females. I have no idea when they're hitting on me or opening up to be asked out.

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>>16470822
>It's almost like an adult just walked up to me and told me that they don't know how to read. I wouldn't look down on them. I'd feel immense horror and pity for their situation.
Don't you think you're exaggerating a bit here m8

>>16470822

You're awfully abrasive. Don't you think it's a bit harsh judging someone for "not being able to understand how 50% of the population thinks"? I don't know what type of sixth sense you have, but i don't think your mind reading abilities are able to function over internet text. Anyway, I think your standards are a bit too high, but don't worry I won't be asking you out anytime soon.

>"Ask the opposite gender anything"
>asks the opposite gender something and gets nagged at for triggering someone
>/adv/

need someone to explain this to me.

>talk to girl
>get her number
>text a little, make plans to go do something
>said she probably could but she'd have to let me know after sunday
>didnt hear from her today
>second time she hasnt let me know when she said she would
>hasnt initiated any conversations
>completely contradicts the way she speaks to me
>asks me a lot of questions, gives lengthy answers, keeps conversation going, seems interested

so im guessing shes not too into me. i just dont get why girls put so much effort into talking to someone when they have no interest in going anywhere with it. attention maybe? or maybe i seem kind of cool but shes not sure? idk, shits annoying.

>>16470841
>I can't relate to the needs and desires of half the people in the world around me, despite that being a critical aspect of interpersonal relationships.
I find that sentence on par with "I'm illiterate." In fact let me put them together to paint a picture. Imagine you were dropped into a new environment where you can't read 50% of the things around you. Imagine trying to go to school or work, figuring out what's safe to eat or drink, making a life for yourself. Wouldn't that be scary as fuck?

>>16470844
It's not harsh to observe something. That's like saying the Greeks were harsh on the Earth for figuring out how big it is. That's geometry, not fat shaming. This is a major wake-up call for someone who skirted into his 20s lacking empathy for half of the human species, not a put down.

>mind reading abilities
Empathy is a mind-reading ability?! Open a goddamn dictionary sometime.

>>16470853
I just think you're being rather factitious here. I don't have the same problems as that guy, but understanding the nuances of human relationships isnt really comparable to literacy.

>>16470863
Two things which, while not critical to survival, have substantial negative impacts on a person's happiness and success in the present world aren't comparable? I just wrote an entire sentence with the most fundamental aspects they have in common, not to mention a scenario which you didn't even address.

Hell, are you sure you don't have the same problem as that guy? Did you just ignore the scenario because it didn't suit your point or because you too lack the ability to put yourself in another (hypothetical) person's shoes? I feel like you ought to be able to empathize with the person in that story if you at least tried, no?

>>16470858
>>16470853
>"muh 'interpersonal relationships' (psychology101, p.9000)"
>"muh secret womyn codes"
>"muh something won't be automatically handed to me, and I might have to put myself out there and it might not work out at all the time, but it eventually will if i keep trying and don't get discouraged despite what jaded assholes on the internet say"

Your bickering is not advice, and it is worthless to me. You have yet given any suggestion other than "hurr...you're not muh real man. that does everything for me and is able to read muh mind."

Why the hell did I even come to this thread?

>>16470877
>>16470871
>>16470863
>>16470858
>>16470853
Take it elsewhere. Stop derailing the thread

>>16470711
I'm 23. Ideally I'm looking for someone with a career going in something they like, but that's easily trumped by personality. I find confidence and masculinity combined with a north-facing moral compass and a genuine kind heart to be just... Beyond amazing. A sense of humor that aligns with mine is really important too.
I don't care about hobbies really. My boyfriend's hobbies are drinking, curating furry porn, and videogames. The bar is not high there. Like I said earlier, I'm swept away by personality and all the other shit gets left to the wayside.

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>>16470883
already out of here, Bruh.

>>16470848
Sometimes, people change their minds...
>>16470802
Sorry I fucked up, I understand what I did, and why it was wrong, please forgive me. I've learned from this, and I will do my best not to do it again.

>>16470623
>>16470797
Based femanons.

Civ isn't a RTS game though. RTS games are realtime and since Civ is turn based it doesn't really fall under the genre. It's better classified under 4x but we're getting nitpicky here.

>>16470911
>Sometimes, people change their minds...
yeah, that could be it. idk, she seemed like she really wanted to hang out though last time we talked.

Femanons, what boards do you frequent?

>>16470956
Just /adv/ because I don't really have time to spend on more than one board, but I used to frequent /ck/, /cgl/ and /vp/

How do I talk to an ex?

I dated this girl very briefly during highschool, and I just realized that I have her as a friend on facebook. I just wanna talk to her, not in a romantic way (she has a boyfriend), how do I come up not being weird? It's been 5+ years since we dated.

>>16470956
/a/ because I read a lot of manga

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To the femanons:

Can you shed light on my situation?

I truly desire a mate that enjoys my company, talks to me regularly without a judging eye, and understands me when I feel a certain feel.

This chick I dated for nearly 3 years has treated me horribly. She actually recently flushed the ring I bought her down the toilet, which deeply hurt me. She has also cheated on different partners in the past, and I live under constant fear of being cheated on. She has had 2 psychotic episodes where she lashed out and viciously attacked me and broken all electronics in my room. I am 18, and she has been my first and only serious relationship thus far. She really ran her fucked up course through my life. I have a deep fear of falling for another female like her.

I know that if I rebound into another relationship, I will likely endure more of the same. I plan of being single for a long time until I can place together the pieces of my life.

How do I avoid repeating this deeply toxic cycle with another girl?

>>16470964
>I just wanna talk to her, not in a romantic way
Why

>>16470964
Why do you want to talk to her?

>>16470973
What's there to shed light on? You dated a shit person, now you're jaded. Go to /r9k/ or something

>>16470956
/qa/
/a/
/an/
/adv/
Started off using /b/ exclusively but only visit once in a blue moon nowadays
/cgl/
/ck/
/co/
/fit/
/int/
Sometimes /jp/
/out/
/pol/
Occasionally pay the robots a visit
I should use /toy/ but I forget it exists
/x/

>>16470988
>>16470996

I want to be her friend.

>>16471020
What makes you think she needs you as a friend?

>>16470785
I think that might have been me. I said all those things in a previous answer. But that question was asking about what "get a life" means

>>16470973
Why did you let it go on so long? Actual question, since that could influence whether you'd do the same thing again. Because it was your first? Or first serious one? Definitely take some recovery time. And when you start going out again, don't focus on just keeping the person at whatever cost. Think about whether or not you're compatible, how you deal with fights, etc. A relationship takes two people trying to build something together. It doesn't work if one person is building and the other is tearing it down.

>>16471023

I don't understand the question.

>>16471020
Why?

>>16471034

She is all I want in a friend.

>>16471026

I was a young guy with serious self love issues.

I was very unhappy with my life and I told myself that if I acted a certain way or said certain things, I could get that precious feeling of love back from her. I see that it was definitely not worth it and it's left me scarred. I have told myself that I'll never put someone else over my own personal well-being again. It was a nightmare and utter waste of time.

>>16471033
Why does she need you as a friend? What do you have to offer her?

>>16471040
That's ominous. What do you mean?
Sounds like you're going into dangerous territory. Getting very close platonically can blur the line between romance.

>>16471047

Dunno man, people say I'm funny.

>>16471040
Nar you don't bud.
You got some them residuals about her.

You think she's what you want but let's face it she's got nothing what you deserve.

You feeling good about whens she messages you back. Yeah, that feels good alright but that's only because you got emotional ties all up in her responsing.

But if you look at her neutrallike what does she got that you want? What's she saying that you want to be listening to?

You got nothing in your head by ideas about her.
Leave that behind and what is she now?
Nothing worth having I say.

>>16471054
So don't contact her. She's got other funny people in her life, she doesn't need you. She's moved on, you need to move on too

>>16471053
>>16471057
>>16471060

I don't have feeling for her, at all. I haven't talk to her in like 7 years, but of all the girls I've dated she is the most “interesting” one, and I'd like to be her friend, that's all.

>>16471066
Liar

>>16471045
"We accept the love we think we deserve". Simple, but still was a profound quote to me the first time I heard it. Work on yourself, make sure you love yourself first. That makes relationships easier too. You don't end up silently asking yourself "why?" every time your partner says they love you.

how to go about getting better at making out? im male

Is being needy still bad if the other person likes your excessive caring? At least she seems ok with it.

Is it true you should always assume and act like the person you're dating is interested?

>>16471096
Practice and communication

>>16471121
No, of course not.

>>16471131
Well you'll be shooting yourself in the foot if you assume they don't like you so...

>>16471121
Hard to answer question, I don't consider being needy and excessive caring as synonyms exactly. You also aren't sure if she likes it or if she "seems okay" because she hasn't said anything overwhelmingly bad about it.
You might want to talk to her. People like different things, and you haven't explained in what ways you're "needy."

>>16470797
>The only RTS I play is Civ V.
>Civ V
>RTS
Shoot yourself.

>>16470924
For what it's worth, I prefer normal RPGs over any type of strategy game. Games that combine both are god-tier though

>>16471239
I like playing strategy games much more if I'm playing them with someone else. Be it either against them or at the same side. If I'm playing alone I'll start a game play it for a while and then get bored of it. I become much more invested into the game when playing with someone else. Though finding people who are up for playing a game of grand strategy or civ on epic/marathon is a pain in the ass.

So usually I'll just resort to playing RPGs and Dota.

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Fellow Guys

So what's the deal with no fap? Isn't it suppose to make your sex drive more active? I think I get the opposite effect. If I fap everyday (out of habit) it's not super difficult to get a boner. But I'm on my 5th day of no fap and my sex drive is non existent. I havent had the urge to fap or look at porn at all. Only thing different I've noticed is my nuts feel uncomfortable for being full. But I'm not horny and haven't felt aroused at all either. This isn't right is it? I thought I'd have MORE of a sex drive for going no fap. But mine has disappeared. Help please

>>16471288
Nofap is 100% broscience. There aren't any benefits to it as long as you fap in moderation and it doesn't have a negative effect on your sex life. If your sex life is suffering because of masturbation then it might be good to just stop it completely for a while.

It might even have negative health effects if you don't regularly get sex since cumming regularly helps prevent prostate cancer.

>tfw 5'8" and 7.5" dick

what matters more to women? dick size or height?

Guys, those of you who get nervous around women, what exactly makes you nervous?

>>16471307
Almost perfect height IMO, it's a shame your dick's too big

>>16471300

My sex life doesn't exist. I haven't done anything with a chick in 4 years. But that doesn't really bother me much. My drive is so low I barely care about girls anymore.

>>16471311

I think it's a subconscious reaction. In your mind you may not feel nervous about anything. But I think our bodies do if to us. There's been several times in the past where I've been around a girl, and in my head felt confident and comfortable, but my body reacted very differently

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>>16471312
this didn't make me feel better

>>16471311
The same that makes me nervous around guys I don't know well. I'm still kinda shy even though I've made huge improvements on that front in the last few years. So whenever I get into a situation where I'll meet new people I get nervous because I don't like the situation. Like I get physically uncomfortable and become really fucking self aware about everything I do.

I can still interact with people I meet even if I don't like it much. It most likely will seem like I'm nervous to anyone else who's present in the situation though.

However if I get to know the person well enough that I'm comfortable around them I don't feel like I'm any more nervous when talking to girls than guys.

Tl;dr because I'm still a bit shy and being around people I don't know makes me uncomfortable

>>16471333

its only natural, being uncomfortable and feeling self conscious is something you should feel around new people, lets be honest most people are fucked up in some way. might as well be on the safe side untell you feel like a trust is formed atleast!

people = shit <3

>>16471311
>unlike 90% of the population, I actually give a fuck what they think of me (if I like them)

>>16471326
It wasn't intended to

Is it common for girls to literally chase a guy that they're not interested in (romantically and sexually) and give him lots and lots of attention?

>she always came (and still comes) to me (we're regulars at a place)
>she wanted my phone number
>she always starts texting (for several hours)
>is somehow mad (I think) that I'll be away for three months (I want to concentrate on my training)

My best guess is that I'm a plaything for her when she's bored, or at best she really just enjoys talking to me (and I'm SUCH a nice guy!). But the amount of attention seems off...

I just broke up with my girlfriend.

We're meeting up one more time (I think) just to get some final closure in a week, so I'm happy for that.

Right now I'm just under a lot of shell shock considering what just happened and I'm not sure how to deal with it. (ie. get along with it till we see each other one more time)

Advice?

>>16471419
You'll never get enough "closure" to satisfy you. My advice is to write about your feelings in a personal journal (for you, don't have to share with anyone) and work on continuing with your life. It might be hard but "fake it til you make it" is the best way to carry on after sad events.

>>16471428
I've written down most of the stuff I want to say for when the day (hopefully) comes, I'm mostly just how to do all of that "faking" and use all this time more productively. (and overcoming how hard it'll be)

How do I reassure my girlfriend she isn't second best to my friends?

We've been fighting a lot about this and with both are lives being constantly busy with dissertation work, we have limited time for each other.

She always give me shit for going out with friends instead of hanging with her. We tried to set a date night every week but our last one didn't go down so well so she wants to do it on a day when I usually go out.

Now it's just constant arguments over this as friends and social life are important to me.

>>16471444
She thinks she's second best because you won't miss one night out with your friends to do something to hopefully help your relationship, which doesn't seem to be doing so well. Obviously most people would prefer hanging out with friends over working on their relationship, but that just makes the relationship get worse. You should think about whether you still want to be with each other, if you're both busy, have no time, and are just fighting.

>>16471468

I think that pretty much nails it really. I have another question though.

My gf and I are both in our final year of university and figuring out where we'll live after is becoming a big topic. Since we've been fighting a lot, I've not been so keen on looking at places we could live together in and has caused my gf to become even more paranoid and frustrated with my lack of commitment.

I told her straight why I don't really want to put much thought to it as we both have other stressing matters at hand now. Also said we might also end up getting jobs that require us to travel further so its hard to decide now. I just want to know when it the normal time people move in with each other.

When is the right length of time to live together?

>>16471519
Male-anon but,

IMO the sweet-spot is like 1.5ish years...

But that's also a totally arbitrary number pulled completely out of my ass. Every relationship is different

It depends on your circumstances and the personalities of the people involved. I've seen relationships where they move in after like 3 months that seem to work pretty well, and others after 3 years that just instantly collapse.

IMO move in when you're comfortable enough with each other and know that you can function stably enough that the added pressure of roommate doesn't instantly destroy you.

Right now, it sounds like your decision may be technically and objectively correct, however from an emotional standpoint, you're using the completely wrong approach and could stand to be more tactful and less blunt because it definitely sends the wrong message when you combine it with other factors.

Think about it: You saying you don't even want to think about moving in 'til your relationship is sorted out, while also not being willing to do anything to sort it out (i.e. you blowing her off for friends); that just sends the message that you don't give a shit about the relationship and don't want to be in it.

My boyfriend pushes me away, purposely hurting me and making me cry just to prove a point when he's upset. Then when he's calmed down, he's all "I love you, want to see each other?"

How do I deal with someone that's so wishy washy? Is this normal for guys to just go back and forth like that? I feel like he takes me for granted...

>>16471554
No, that is not normal behavior...

But just from your wording alone, I also suspect you're being MASSIVELY melodramatic and possibly insecure.

The solution is always to find someone more mature, but as it sounds like you need to become more mature yourself, try and open up a line of communication.

>>16471565
I wouldn't be so melodramatic if he was actually willing to sit down with me and figure things out. When he gets upset I try to understand why he feels that way and what happened to make him feel like that, but it just makes him more upset and he yells at me and blames me for it. I try to figure things out but jeez man it's like talking to a wall...he's not cooperative.

>>16471579
All right let's hear an example

>>16471554
>>16471579
Maybe he needs a different way to handle things. I get sort of like him when I'm upset, just not as extreme. But I know if I'm pushed to talk things out while I'm still upset, it'll make things worse. So I take a bit of time by myself to calm down, and then come back to whatever the issue is when I can more calmly explain "What you did/said made me upset for these reasons." And then talk it out.

>>16471584
Him: I'm going to hang out with Jim tomorrow night.
Me: Oh that's surprising
Him: What's wrong with Jim?? (defensively)
Me: Nothing, chill out, just you don't see him often, I'm surprised.

He got upset at me over that. "Why do you have to say stupid shit" ??? I don't get it.

>>16471595
If he actually came to talk to me about it afterwards I would agree with you about giving space...but he just pretends like nothing is wrong. After his huge bout of yelling/blaming me/making me upset, he fucks off for however many hours and then "Hey baby, I'm done playing my video games/chilling out, wanna smoke a joint? Good night I love you <3" when I try to talk about it he says there's nothing to talk about and he said what he had to say (when he was yelling).

mainly girls:

I'm dating this girl for 10 days now, we kiss for 10 minutes without a break, she strokes me all the time, we look each other in the eyes for 10 minutes and she basicly wants to be with me. yesterday she let me stroke her belly, her ass and her pubic mound but as I touched her pussy she smiled and said no and we just continued making out. so maybe she is just bleeding... or is she really not ready for this yet? it's confusing because she wants me to touch her everywhere all the time except there.. the thing that bothers me is: I know she did'nt have sex with her last bf, they were together for 3 months... I normally like doing things slowly, so sex can wait.. I'm just afraid something is wrong with her

>>16471619
Then you need to tell him yelling isn't an okay way to "talk" about things. And that's only half of it, if you don't also get to talk things out with him.

>>16471620
We can't read her mind for you. Ask her if that was too far/too soon or whatever.

Finally meeting my ldr bf the next week, we never met in person before but i know how is him because we skype a lot. Our ldr was for a year and half, im both happy and nervous at the same time, i love him a lot.

is bad if i try to kiss him at the airport?

>>16471648

so you think her behaviour is "normal" for a girl? Also the 3 months?

>>16471658
Depends on how he feels about public displays of affection. I'd say just go for a hug when you see him, kiss him only if you know he's cool with PDA.

>>16471658
I'd expect a hug but would be secretly hoping for a kiss while freaking out since I'm not that comfy with PDAs and it's the first time we're meeting each other.

Passed my psychotherapy exam this morning, went to a nearby restaurant for lunch with fellow studens/friends to celebrate.

Next table over a blonde qt was sitting by herself in the restaurant/café playing a puzzle game made with plastic toys by herself and then later on drawing mandala in her books.

She was listening in to us celebrating and after everyone left I went over to her to have her show me her game again and we had a nice conversation, but at the end she had to hurry off to work. She wants to study psychology as well later on which was our main subject, but she's also writing herself and is interested in philosophy and traveling. She's 19, I'm 29.

I didn't ask for her number, but she mentioned where she works (close by the café, as a salesperson in retail). Should I go to the store where she works to see if I can get a date from her or would that be kind of creepy?

I am aware of our age difference.

She also went to the same school as me.

What the fuck do I talk about with women?

To give an idea of who I am: I go on /g/, /pol/, /fit/, /mu/, /tg/, and /lit/ outside of the meme boards. Those are my main interests, especially weird shit like philosophy, social dynamics, and psychology. Whenever I talk to the lassies, especially on dates - I lose focus and interest, and usually nod and agree and hope they'll stop talking and suck my dick. There was only one girl in the past that managed to break this cycle but that was 3 years ago, and I've done a lot of reading and lifting since then. How can I trudge past their prosaic bullshit and learn to accept and adore their simple, unfettered personalities? Maybe mine is too strong and I subconsciously expect others to have the same motivation as I do? Maybe, more likely, I'm just looking in the wrong places and should find qt asians at bookstores? I'd like tips on how to do that also.

>>16471658
>is bad if i try to kiss him at the airport?
guy here
after I got to saw my gf again after my 3 week South America trip I would have been vastly disappointed if she hadn't kissed me.

Then again, I would have initiated the kiss anyways, but it was sorta mutual.

Assuming you have kissed before and you feel like doing it again when you see him, absolutely go for it.

>>16470580
>volunteer a couple hours a week

Look that this white knight guys

>>16471811
She said
>we've never met in person before

>>16471658
I would go for the long and close hug. Kissing is always awkward the first time.

>>16471793
>How can I trudge past their prosaic bullshit and learn to accept and adore their simple, unfettered personalities?
...you don't, you find other women. Are you even serious with this suggestion?

You're probably long gone but in case you see this anyway, people who are young, intelligent and well rounded in their interests are rare both among men and women. Look around on 4chan how many bright young guys there are who care about little other than getting laid and vidya. You will have to try harder to find someone like this but that doesn't mean they don't exist. Hell, I go to a university (not an elite one but very specific in - humanitarian - orientation, something that draws a specific crowd) where all the stuff you mentioned as "socially weird" is completely normal to talk about over coffee or killing time before a class. If you want someone who's not average you'll just have to be willing to look harder and longer to find them. I don't see the point in trying to love someone you look down upon and most women can tell when you care more about their pussy than about anything they have to offer in terms of company. (And you don't want to be with one of the slow cases who doesn't pick up on those signals.)

And of course you have better odds finding someone like this at a literary event or in the audience of an open lecture, but there is no secret place they gather. Be mindful of the crowd that an event or place draws but most of all keep being forward with your interest in these things (obviously in a subtle manner) and see if they respond.

>>16472113
>we've never met in person before
ah fuck, no idea how I missed that

I'd probably hold off on the kissing then unless you really, really feel like you want it at that moment

>>16470547
Why do women hate introverted guys?
Is the only value men have to women really nothing more than his ability to be an entertainer?

How many girls are okay with facials?

>>16472223
The problem with introverted people is that they typically don't display any ability, because, you know... They're introverted. That becomes their main defining trait in social situations because they typically display little else.

>>16472223
First of all, I don't hate introverted guys, just whiny guys with a victim complex. Secondly, shy is not the same as introverted. Third, I'm less likely to notice an introverted guy. Fourth, introverted guys can be just as 'entertaining' as extroverted guys. Fifth, stop making 'introverted' your whole personality, because that's what's making you boring. Sixth, stop blaming your lack of success on women.

My boyfriend's an introvert, and I certainly don't hate him.

>>16472223
>Don't show any of your qualities
>surprised women don't pay attention to you

>>16472234
Wait are you implying introverted people are bad at everything?

>>16472255
>what is reading comprehension
He was saying that they don't DISPLAY any ability, not that they don't have any

>>16472255
No.

>>16472264
Well they're still mixing shy and introverted.

>>16472275
Everyone here fucking does that. The guy who posted the question in the first place did it too.

I hadn't seen the girl I'm dating for a while, but when I next saw her (not on a date, but we stuck around for a few hours) I had no idea what to say. Most of the time I just made the occasional comment on what she and her friend had to say, or we walked in silence. The two of them bantered a little and had a few laughs, but it seemed like I bored her with anything I said. It felt like all I had to offer was my presence.

Girls, is this sort of thing a big deal? What if it happens regularly?
I'm probably overthinking this, but might as well ask.

>>16471288
Bumping for this. I have the same problem

>>16472228
A random woman isn't going to have statistics on this any more than you do. Having said that, it only really has a (psychological) benefit for the woman if she's into being degraded, and semen in your hair is a pain to get out and semen in your eyes hurts. My guess is the large majority does not find it arousing/pleasant, but then there's still people who would go along with it as a favor and people who would not.

>>16472223
I don't, maybe because I'm introverted too. Wouldn't be comfortable in a relationship if the guy always wanted us to go out all the time and hang with people.

Any girls on here would know of skin whitening cream or lotions? I hate my yellow tinted skin, I want to be pale. Any suggestions?

>>16472304
Don't do it. If there was something that was actually legit without damaging your skin, most of Asia would already be snow white given the beauty ideals. It is just a hoax to get money out of you that could potentially damage your health. More worthwhile to work harder at accepting yourself the way you are.

>>16472304
Are you aware that the ones that do actually work damage your skin irreparably and could even poison you?

>>16472304
Other than the dangerous options, just wear sunscreen daily and exfoliate weekly. Don't exfoliate more than that, though.

>>16471787
anyone?

>>16472223
NO it's not true I'm an introvert femanon and I only find males like me attractive. I don't like "entertainers"

>>16471288
>>16472290
So what are you guys trying to acheive?
Everyone is different. If you guys find that you get the result you want from masturbating more, masturbate more. If you get it from fapping less, do it less.
You can experiment and see if there's a hump that you'll get over and switch to higher sex drive, but it's all just guessing really.

If you want to up your sex drive, try supplements. I've heard good things about maca root, gingko bilboa, L-arginine paired with Pycnogenol.
Though that's my research to up sex drive as a girl. I'm sure there's others out there specifically for guys that isn't specifically viagra.

>>16471787
>>16472343
Eh, as long as she didn't display signs of discomfort during the conversation, I'd say it's fine. Just don't go very quickly. She offered the information herself.

Having said that, aware of it or not, I think the age difference itself (not so much society's view or her creep radar) will be the main obstacle. Ten years at your ages...

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Been talking to a girl for few months now. We clicked, we talk a lot, but I feel like she's been ignoring me for the past weeks. I'm always the one to initiate things, and in the past I would always make the first move, still. I don't know what to do /ADV/
Should I just ask her straight if we should be something(ofc I would take her out again somewhere nice) or just leave it and just disappear, ignoring her... I grew feelings for her

Pic unrelated, hawt F40

>>16472375
If you grew feelings, give it a shot and ask her to hang out. If she rejects you in any other way than being apologetic and taking initiative for another date, and/or she acts rude and disinterested during the meet up, just forget about her.

>>16471620
>>16471668
Dude you've only been with her for 10 days. 3 months is nothing. Some girls wait years, some wait until marriage.

>>16470956
Random, hardcore ( I get tickled at showing my bf the trap thread and asking of it's a boy or girl) advice, diy, I do a bunch

>>16471620
>10 days
>10-minute kisses
>strokes you all the time
>lets you stroke her almost all over
Lucky bastard. That's shit I don't even get 60 days in.

>>16472228
I love them

>>16470964
Ask her how she is.. But keep in mind your an 23rd and it will cause grief and extra problems in her relationship and you will find yourself on the block list.

>>16471096
Well what exactly are you going wrong? Put your lips over here. Be gentle. And don't kill her with your tongue.

>>16471121
I make it clear when I'm having a needy day. Not all days are needy but when I need that extra but of attention I tell my bf. He does the same. We both have just learned to share our feelings. When he is being needy he guys and livets all over me which I'm cool with but it's obvious with us both.

>>16471131
No. Never assume that..

>>16472360
>Just don't go very quickly.
It's an interior design store, I could use some more stuff to fill up my apartment which I could use an excuse.

Or I could just start to hang around the café which it seemed like she is at regularly to see her again by chance. It's actually pretty good food.

So you think I should take it slow rather than following up on it quickly?

>>16472409
>That's shit I don't even get 60 days in.
take it
I fucked my ex on our 3rd date after a week

>>16471288
Why exactly are you not fapping? Femanon here and I'm highly confused. Girls like guys get backed up and Well sometimes fapping is just a way to relieve the pressure. and Well if fapping helps your sex drive fap away..

>>16471307
Neither a secure woman will accept either.

>>16471620
She's teasing you

>>16471620
I had a pretty strict rule of not fucking people I wasn't in love with. So until I was sure I loved someone, which would be several months of proper "girlfriend/boyfriend" dating at least, there would be no fucking or other general serious sexual tomfoolery. That didn't mean I didn't enjoy spending time with them, or want to touch and be touched by them, or that I didn't feel a massive urge to fuck them and couldn't help displaying that, but it wasn't going to happen. I still expressed my affection and desire for them though, just the serious stuff had to wait, so if things got a bit too hot and heavy I just tried to slow it down and back things up a bit but without being a bitch about it. Sounds like she might just be the same and have quite strong ideas/morals/boundaries about fucking people casually. You can either ask her about it, or just roll with it - if she has told you she didn't fuck her last boyfriend it sounds like she is being quite straight with you about it - I always made it clear to men I was starting to date where I stood on the issue of casual sex, and it was then up to them if they were cool with sticking around to see if it got that far or not. 10 days is nothing though, I would wait for a few weeks to see how things pan out before having a talk with her about it, she might just be a bit nervous and need to get more comfy around you.

>>16472459
>I had
Please tell me that this was when you were 17 and not like 27.

Girls, what would it take for you to get on a mff threesome? Would you be comfortable talking about it to the guy or the girl?

>>16472446
>Why exactly are you not fapping? Femanon here and I'm highly confused.
google nofap

basically the idea is to sublimate the sexual urges into improving yourself or actually going out to find yourself a partner to sex rather than masturbating

>>16472471
That's just not for me

>>16472450
Really? Like a secure man should accept a ham beast or a girl with 0 tits if that isn't what they are into?

Of course people have preferences, and that is fine.

Some girls are going to prefer dick, some hight, some won't give a fuck about either but will only date a man with red curly hair instead.

>>16471307
As a general rule, decent girls only care about hight to the point that it means you are taller than them. There will of course be exceptions to this. So long as a dick isn't crazy big or small, most women don't care that much, average is fine, because most girls are average, and average is designed to fit comfortably in average.

>>16472471
What's in it for me? I have no interest in women, a mff threesome has no appeal to me whatsoever

>>16472461
Oh god yeah. I'm 30 now, but ended up marrying the guy I met at 19, so never really got a chance to find out if I would update the rule or not as I got older. But, the OP question suggests to me they might be about that sort of age still themselves, so I was hoping my perspective might be useful since I remember being very like the girl sounds at that age.

>>16472479
>What's in it for me?
God bless you. Every time I hear a guy complaining about how women are impossible to understand, I wish the women in their lives would just say this one sentence to them. It's all it takes to understand where people are coming from.

>>16471288
>But I'm on my 5th day of no fap and my sex drive is non existent.
Same happened to me with nofap, my sex drive just started to dwindle away. Someone explained it to me this way:

For some people the body gets tricked into having outlived its sexual usefulness and starts to puts the resources to other uses, lowering sex drive to the point of non-existence.

I also read another story of an anon who did nofap for an entire year who, even if he could get a boner after a lot of troubles could only ever so barely ejaculate. He consulted with doctors and got the above explanation.

What I did was stop the no fap, start to going back to fapping once or twice a day and I'm just peachy. I had to cut down the masturbation again when I got together with my last girlfriend because I was so used to masturbation that I couldn't ejaculate.

I continued to look at porn and started to edge. After a few days when I would get hard really easily I swapped to edging while thinking about her (she had a great body, so that came easily to me). Eventually on our 3rd or 4th time fucking I was able to climax.

I continued masturbation throughout our relationship because my sex drive was way higher than hers. Also because of my masturbatory habits I was able to last quite a while while fucking her which she loved, often cumming twice in a row before I would finish.

>>16471288
>>16472487
tl;dr

start looking at porn/fapping again asap

>>16472375

Shameful bump

>>16472439
It's okay to have a reason at hand, but don't actually pretend that this is THE reason you are stopping by. That is flimsy and will only make things weirder. Rather, say something like "I needed stuff for my appartment for a long time and you inspired me" with a bright smile. Don't pretend you would've stopped there anyway.

Revisiting the place isn't a bad idea but don't go by yourself. You don't want someone to take it upon themselves to inform her that there's been an older guy hanging around by himself and jumping on her as soon as she walked in.

Yeah, I'd say give her at least two full weeks. I can understand the mentality of wanting to jump right in, but that'll give her more time to process her impression of you (and if it was quite a good one, the wait will enhance her excitement to see you again) and it won't make you seem like she was all that was on your mind for the weekend so you tracked her down right away. Which might work out as romantic if you were of her age, but you just have to be more careful to not come across the wrong way. If she does not look at you differently and more critically for being that much older herself, she's at best extremely naive and at worst plain dumb. So you will have to work harder to not look shady.

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The fuck does "white mediocrity" mean?

>>16472471
What would it take for you to get on a mmf threesome?

But being completely serious (though I do feel that men should consider how they would feel about the opposite scenario, especially given that plenty of women are straight and not "straight" in real life), I'd need
>a solid marriage of say at least ten years
>absolute certainty/trust that he wanted the experience and had no one in mind
>to get the final say on the woman

I want a monogamous relationship and not for nothing. To be okay with the fantasy of sharing does not mean it won't break your heart to actually see your partner dick someone else, you just don't know that with 100% certainty until it actually happens. Not to mention I would want to be with someone who understands and respects these hesitations. Who wants to be monogamous with someone who is incredibly hung up on having something beyond that? Again, would YOU be/stay with a woman who threw a huge fit over not getting railed by you and someone else at the same time? Most men would not and for good reasons. Does not make you feel valued, does not make you feel like you're enough.
I see no reason to test a good relationship that makes me happy in such a dramatic way that can go wrong in so many different ways.

>>16472535
>(and if it was quite a good one, the wait will enhance her excitement to see you again)
that's actually a pretty fair point

>revisiting the place isn't a bad idea but don't go by yourself.
meh, I can pull that off I'd say because I genuinely like the place and their food. I usually go out for lunch/dinner by myself because I'm too lazy to cook. The same way she had her books and games with her to entertain herself while being alone I bring my book to read over lunch.

Of course I can't start eating at that place 7 days a week straight to see her again because THAT would be weird.

cheers anon

I could do with both genders' advice.

>Girlfriend has best online friend several years before we start dating.
>He buys her presents and flew over twice to visit her.
>Hate him by default because I think he's trying to get with her.
>Early in the relationship he surprised her with a big present, I lost my shit at her for enabling it.
>She shows me chat logs of her losing her shit at him any time he bought her anything. Also admits that he friendzoned her as he didn't want a long-distance relationship.
>He adds me and asks if we can please be friends. I begrudgingly say yes and make small talk from time to time.
>Stops buying my girlfriend gifts except for birthday and Christmas.
>He's constantly tagged in statuses where his friends thank him for lavish gifts.
>Sends me a message today saying that my birthday and Christmas presents are being sent to my girlfriend's address and she will wrap them up for me.

Should I bury the hatchet with this guy? I'll admit I've been rude and short with him when we talk, and here is he fucking buying me gifts. I struggle to see him as anything other than competition for my GF, but damn if he doesn't seem nice.

>>16472472
Well that I can understand however it sounds awful

>>16470547
>That one guy who keeps asking about cuddling in platonic friendships
>No one wants to cuddle you. Stop asking

Calling bullshit. I have a few people around me that were cuddlers. Guys cuddled guys, lesbos cuddles guys and girls, etc.

>>16472551
I agree, see my experience with no fap here >>16472487

although in the grand scheme of things it's one of the more harmless things to have sprung up on 4chan

>>16472550
>He buys her presents
He wants her dick.
>He friendzoned her
So not only does he want her dick, but she wants his too. Recipe for disaster. And here you are falling for his bribes.

>>16472555
They said nobody wants to cuddle him. Not that nobody wants to cuddle.

>Guys cuddled guys
You're surrounded by fags.

>>16470736
>I'm not being an ass. It's just an obvious flaw that you have if you're asking a question like that. Literally every possible answer is correct for some girls out there. But if you think that this is actually an answerable question, you must have almost no ability to actually relate to girls. That's really bad.

Talk about being unable to relate to people.

>>16472550
Just sounds like he really likes giving people gifts - maybe he is super rich and it means not so much to him, or maybe he just gets a kick out of giving people things. The fact that he does it to everyone, and it isn't anything specific to your girlfriend (which would be cause for concern) means it is just a thing he does, and you have judged too harshly. I say bury the hatchet and enjoy what sounds like a fairly thoughtful and generous new friend.

>>16472550
You're enabling him to act with inappropriate familiarity toward people he knows online. It's one thing if he were very open about trying to get with her, but at this point it's very creepy when you take him at his word.

What makes it creepy is that she loses her shit at him and he keeps doing it. It's pushy and totally ignores her wishes. The guy has no respect for boundaries and his trying to couch that in looking like a generous fella. This is how people feed their own obsessions. They heap on inappropriate levels of kindness and then sell themselves on the idea that they're "owed." When you fail to "pay up" appropriately, it's World War 3.

You're making very big mistakes. There's nothing wrong with having friends online but this guy has a pattern of shitty behavior in that context. You're helping create a monster here.

>>16472558
On the off chance you're not trolling, what exactly are the benefits of telling a girl you don't want to be with her and making her cry, then keep trying to get with her by buying her shit?

>>16472541
Prolly she's one of those losers who's awed at anything exotic. You know the type.
http://www.theonion.com/multiblogpost/european-men-are-so-much-more-romantic-than-americ-11552

>>16472283
Bump.

>>16472558
>So not only does he want her dick, but she wants his too. Recipe for disaster. And here you are falling for his bribes.
Kinda agreeing with this.

Not sure what the best way to proceed would be however. What you should do with your gf is to make a stand on how it's not okay what she's doing with the guy. However on the other hand I'd say milk him as much as you can for your own personal benefit and write the relationship off.

>>16472549
>Of course I can't start eating at that place 7 days a week
That was kind of my point, you'll more than likely need to try this a lot in order to actually run into her again. And there's always the chance someone noticed what made you suddenly become a regular if they are perceptive.

Anyway, good luck.

I was in a class with this girl and when we looked at each other she smiled at me, but I was a bit far to make smallchat with her and nervous.

I ran into her later in the hall and smiled and her and she smiled back but then looked down. We ran into each other again in this tutoring session before a test day but I thought I'd just leave, so she left and I decided to leave right then, but as she came back I went ahead and said hi and told her my name, and then said I'd see her around because I had to leave.

I passed by her on my way to my car today and she smiled but then looked away. Is that a body language sign of disinterest?

>>16472573
>what exactly are the benefits of telling a girl you don't want to be with her and making her cry
Ever tried it? You don't understand how many women thrive on attention or how badly they need it. Back when I was a little prick, every now and then, I'd just go cold on a girl. Ignore her in person, ignore her texts, ignore her calls, the whole nine. I'd do this for as long as I needed to until she would apologise. She wouldn't have anything to apologise for, because they were random bouts of ignoring her, but she'd apologise anyway. Tell me all about how she cried herself to sleep at least once during the week because she thought she was going to "lose me" or whatever shit and then the next week she'd spent almost every waking moment around me, touching me and hanging onto me or texting me or calling me. I think it's a shock thing. They're so used to yes men that when they don't get a yes, it fucks with their head and brings their insecurities to light, which are insanely easy to take advantage of.

>Let's go out
>No, I don't want you
>Cry cry cry
>Still don't want you
>Cry cry cry
>Still don't want you
>Cry cry cry
>I want you
>Jumps at the chance

>>16472585
She was in a crowded hall so I didn't really want to try talking to her right then, as I was leaving.

>>16472550
I know a guy like this, he buys presents for his girl friends all over the world and sends them any day and any time. Have some confidence anon, shes with you after all, this kind of guys only want to buy affection because they cant get it in other way

If you have the oportunity milk his wallet

>>16472550
Poor guy. He's done something very stupid to himself. Some people equate gifts with affection, but if he's constantly doing this to everyone, I assure you he has orbiters in for the free stuff.

The fact that he's stopped the extra gifts out of respect for you is good. The fact that she's willing to show you chat logs is good. If they're not flirting and your gf is over him, I'd say it's fine.

I would be very cautious if he ever moved closer, though.

>>16472591
>>16472585
read the OP

>>16472580
Completely normal to happen on occasion, not a big deal unless she already had her doubts about your chemistry or compatibility. No issue in itself.

>>16472597
>>16472597

What part of OP?

>>16472584
>That was kind of my point, you'll more than likely need to try this a lot in order to actually run into her again.
She said she's sort of a regular at that place and she left for work when we split which is pretty much right around the corner so I'd say chances are pretty good if I showed up on another Tuesday around noon to bump into her. Again, can't go on just Tuesdays though.

>good luck
cheers

>>16472594
Ok I wrote this but read this >>16472571
And I agree with it. I didn't consider the fact that he keeps sending her gifts even when she's uncomfortable.

Why does it take your uncomfort to get him to stop but not hers?

I'd be worried about him feeling owed, yes. He sounds manipulative.

But still. I can't deny that we have a warped view of him, coming from you. He is a male talking to your gf. Of course you have initial feelings of distrust.

Maybe ask to see some of the chat logs, talk to your girlfriend about your concerns.

>>16472570
He makes pretty decent money yeah, plus he doesn't really have any of the usual financial drainers (girlfriend, kids etc). I'll admit I was relieved to see how generous he was with other people in his life, it's also pretty shocking to see me being included in the generosity when I was a bit of a dick to him.

>>16472571
I'll admit it's a bit weird that he didn't stop when she asked him to. She told me he has a mild case of Asperger's Syndrome, but I honestly wouldn't know unless she'd told me. He also doesn't do this with anyone else online, all the statuses he's been tagged in with generosity are from local friends. I know what you mean about being 'owed' though, but he doesn't seem to have that sort of temperament. I hope that's the correct judgement I'm making anyway.

>>16472582
Neither of us are okay with milking and I definitely don't want to write the relationship off. In terms of her liking him, she admitted that she was extremely lonely and she thought all the signs were there that he liked her back. She didn't want to abandon him once she was friendzoned because they had a lot in common and he was a good friend.

>>16472589
Is there any point in doing this when the girl is with another man and there is already discussion of getting engaged?

>>16472592
Nah, neither of us want to milk his wallet. She's actually pretty protective of him and wants to find him a good woman that won't take advantage of him.

>>16472594
I don't give a shit about the orbiters but my girlfriend does, especially in the post above you.

In regards to your reply, I don't think he has a manipulative temperament but I could be wrong. I've already seen chat logs of theirs and she still shows me them as a "Look at the funny thing he said to me/I said to him!" thing. I do agree with you about only stopping out of respect for me though, that's a bit suspect.

>>16472624
Same insecurities comes to light, regardless of engagements or not. One of the girls I did it to had a long term boyfriend. After I ignored her and we did the whole "back to being friends" thing, I got a whole bunch of invites to go out to a club with her and then to stay over at her house. Of course "That's not saying anything's going to happen, so don't expect it" but when you know someone long enough, you can read them. If I'd taken up her offer, something would've happened. We both know it, but neither of us acknowledge it.

Think about it, if the one that got away, suddenly hadn't got away, would you let it get away all over again?

>>16472624
If he doesn't have that sort of temperament and all of this is indeed related to Asperger's, there would be no problem with you and your girlfriend very clearly and directly explaining why you can't accept the gifts. Just keep it cold and logical about your comfort and preferences. If you're right then he should take that perfectly calmly and there will be no issue.

And if there is an issue, it's better that you find out about it not and not after he's made up his mind about your "debt."

>>16472633
I understand this is now getting into Desperate Housewives level of drama now, but 'the one that got away' for my girlfriend was me. I used to be engaged and she loved me for years, but she didn't have the heart to be a homewrecker. She was talking about almost getting with a guy during her lonely stage (who's now a trans woman, even more drama) and she said she was thankful she didn't because it would've just been settling for second best.

>>16472634
I definitely agree about the debt thing. The birthday and Christmas arrangement has been going well and I keep hearing from the both of them how excited they are planning the other person's gift. It's pretty cosy actually.

>>16472660
Do you live in a shitty mid-day teenage soap opera? I'll say this much though, the fact that she's tried to get with at least two guys because she simply felt "lonely" isn't a great sign in and of itself. I'm just saying, if you break down in tears because someone turns you down and then they offer you a second chance, temptations is a hell of a drug.

>>16472667
To be fair to her, she initiated it with the online guy but not with the other guy. That guy started showing signs he was interested in her, but she decided she didn't want to be in a relationship with someone she felt nothing towards. I can't judge her too harshly because I've had about a dozen girlfriends and I'm her first boyfriend.

>>16472679
You can judge as you please. Don't hold back on shit because of your own past. If she shows signs of being susceptible to infidelity, don't just shrug it off with a "Yeah, but she has less experience, so it's okay". I'm just saying that she's clearly very insecure. Insecure enough to run into a man's arms when she feels lonely. I just hope for you sake that she isn't insecure enough to run into another man's arms if she feels lonely again. Good luck with this shit. I say just tell the guy to stop sending gifts because it makes you uncomfortable, but you can stay amicable until he shows signs of disrespect towards your relationship.

>>16472660
dude, stop listening to the crazy bitter "supreme manipulator" of women who can make them go cray after him and knows how every woman in the world will react to his plans. People seek relationships because they are lonely, it happens, people are hurt by rejection, true. Other than that, not all women or men react the same to everything, a lot (especially the worthwhile ones) won't be interested in wasting their time with someone trying to game them, not all people are cheaters or out to fuck others over.

Sounds like you and your gf have really good communication, she's being open and honest and not hiding anything without needing to be prompted she just seems to enjoy sharing her life, jokes and friends with you which is great. The other guy isn't even specifically targeting your gf he is just a bit overgenerous with his money - everyone has their faults and there are far worse ones. She doesn't seem to have had any serious romantic emotional involvement with him, just youthful naivety and inexperience from what you describe, more wishful thinking than any real feels. You guys seem to have it sorted, I'm not sure what you are worrying about. People get way too het up about stuff like this, not everyone is game playing, most people are just muddling through as best they can. Take it from someone who has been happily married for over a decade, I think you guys are fine.

>>16472608
>>16472597
>>16472591
>>16472585

No answer still..

>>16472700
Care to quote where I ever said "all women"? Care to quote the bitterness? I'm curious where you pulled that from. Not projecting, are we?

>>16472712
>Person did insignificant, does it mean anything?
>Nothing significant

>>16472690
The question wasn't about not trusting my girlfriend, it was about whether it seems I should bury the hatchet with the dude. This is the girl who has nightmares about cheating on me like my ex did and shows zero signs of infidenlity, she's glued to my side any time we go out. Also:

>Insecure enough to run into a man's arms when she feels lonely

Except she literally didn't. She assessed whether or not she should go out with someone for the sake of being lonely and she decided against it. If I'm being honest then I'm pretty pissed how you're allowed to fuck women over and treat them like garbage, yet she asks one guy out and rejects one guy on a respectable basis and she's suddenly insecure and susceptible to infidelity?

>>16472700
I'm glad things are going well for you dude, sounds like a comfy life. Yeah she is very open with me, maybe excessively so as she knows how badly my ex fucked me over. I even got mad drunk one time and accused her of cheating very early on in the relationship, she just held me and talked through my rationale for the accusation with me.

>>16472731
>>She shows me chat logs of her losing her shit at him any time he bought her anything. Also admits that he friendzoned her as he didn't want a long-distance relationship.
> In terms of her liking him, she admitted that she was extremely lonely and she thought all the signs were there that he liked her back.
At least be consistent m8. I never said I was allowed to fuck women over and treat them like garbage. In fact, I acknowledged that it was cunt behaviour and that I was a little prick for doing it. Certainly not proud of it. It's not her actions that throw me off, it's her reasoning behind them. Loneliness is the worst reason to dive into a relationship. My answer stays the same though. Be suspicious of the guy, without being violent, if he must remain in her life.

>>16472731
Yeah, it's a pretty sweet life if you ask me! Seriously though, your girl sounds like a keeper. Make amends with the other guy, you don't have to be his bestie or anything, you don't even have to tell him or make a big deal about it, just be more warm and open to being chums or whatever, he sounds like a slightly odd but essentially decent kinda guy. Enjoy your girlfriend, enjoy getting to know her friends, take care of each other, you are gonna be fine.

>>16472745
I suppose I should've been a bit clearer. I mentioned in the post that she wanted to stay friends with him because they have a lot in common and generally enjoy each other's company. Then you factor in the fact she thought he liked her, mixed in with the loneliness of never having someone like you before and you get a shy girl who has the confidence to ask someone out. The loneliness was the catalyst, but not the be-all-and-end-all for being in a relationship for her, as evidenced by the other guy.

>>16472748
Yeah I do hope she's a keeper, she's a lot more mature and honest than my previous girlfriends. I hope it'll be a good life.

I had a massive crush on a guy for a year... And I mean fucking massive. He was all I could think about.

And since he asked me out a few days ago I just... don't anymore. I don't know why. I've been wishing he would ask me out for ages. Why do I feel this way? Any other girls ever felt this way?

>>16472771
Are all women this irrational?

Imagine getting married to this woman, she would just get bored right away and go fuck some other guy then take all your money.

>>16472771
Not personally but it's not unheard of. It can relate to liking the "chase" more than the actual relationship. Even if you are not actively chasing someone, not being with them and being interested in them is a combination very fruitful for projecting your romantic fantasies on someone. If they become a sincere option, that can confront you with the notion that they're just another flawed person.

Alternatively, you could just be scared witless that it is suddenly real, causing your feelings to go in hiding because you want to get out of the entire situation. I would definitely go on the date just to make sure.

>>16472771
Because fantasy is immaculate. It's unrealistically positive, lacks any flaws (except those which are trivial and even more endearing to resolve) and sets an impossible standard. You had a year of living in complete fantasy of how things would be with him.

By asking you out he's made the situation real. Your fantasy is collapsing. Your beginning to shift contexts to the real world, which you know to be full of imperfections and disappointments. He can never live up to your year-long fantasy and your mind is beginning to realize that.

Congrats, you ruined it.

>>16472795
>You're beginning
My am embarrass. :\

>>16472794
>>16472795
You're both right that I probably got carried away with fantasizing, but a few weeks ago we started getting closer and talking about our lives and interests to each other and I still was infatuated with him even though he was no longer that mystical stranger I could fantasize about.

>>16472790
"Irrational" is a weird word here given that falling in love with someone itself is not a rational thing. Of course not all women are like this and in fact I have answered this question several times for guys but never before for a gal. And thirdly there is no reason to be so cuntish about someone being confused by their feelings. If you take a look at the most unflattering social action or sentiment of most people in between ages fifteen and twenty five they would seem completely unfit for a serious relationship... which is why that is based on more than a single incident.

>>16472799
lol

>>16472795
But this is good advice - >>16472771 listen to this person. It's also quite possible that you needed somewhere to store your feels for a while, to focus on whilst doing whatever else, but that deep down you know he isn't right for you so when it becomes real you kinda know it isn't going to work and the attraction just fades. That the fantasy was a safe game to play, but you know it isn't going to work in your heart.

>>16472810
My bet is still on nerves. If I were you I'd agree to go on the date, and in the meantime try to accept that your feelings are gone and to go meet him as a stranger. Basically put the least amount of pressure possible on yourself to "come through" with the feelings. Then see if, once as relaxed as you can muster and in a good setting and all, you are actually charmed by him.
Remember you don't have to get in a relationship after one or two dates. There's time to see how deep your feelings go or do not go and how compatible you are.

>>16472810
An actual connection between the two of you was still fantastical in nature. Remember what I said:
>a year of living in complete fantasy ***of how things would be with him***

Yes, part of the fantasy includes imagining him to be a particular sort of person. (Though to be honest, would you have me believe that some conversations over a few weeks means that you've done more than scratch the surface? You still have so much opportunity to idealize the blanks.) But the core issue is fantasizing experiences. That's the thing which has finally begun to unravel. For example, you've fantasized about dates with him. By asking you out he's now set the stage to bring down those fantasies. This is the first in what would be a series of real life versions of fantasized experiences. It only gets worse from here.

>>16471419
Anyone? Could still use some input.

Any advice on what things to say could help too

>>16472891
I wouldn't advice to meet up quickly. Your feelings on this are still very fresh and it's quite easy to just anger each other, misconstrue what someone says, start bickering over different interpretations. In case it was a lousy break up in which hardly anything was said, you can meet to talk things over. But in case you already did this and are well aware of the why and how, I would recommend to wait longer and grant yourself time to calm down, heal and move on first.

I really want to talk to this girl, just hear from her, but I can't think of anything to say at all. I sent some shitty forced text messages that took a while to think up, but all she responded to that is 'yeah'.

I'm feeling sick and lonely, even though we saw each other in person earlier today for about an hour. What kind of things can I say to keep her attention, but still save face? We have been dating for a while-ish, if you need that context.

>>16472904
How long is good, do you reckon? She's leaving for the holidays next Wednesday, and I have a good feeling that she'll be busy throughout most of the week.

Wednesday was the day she gave me, but that's the day before she leaves. I'm worried about things flaking out last minute and I wont get my chance, so I'm hoping for sooner rather than later.

>>16472914
I was actually talking about waiting for a couple of months rather than a couple more days. But it also depends on the length and seriousness of your relationship. Eg if you dated five years, meeting up in half a year isn't weird. If you dated for three months, that's just odd and not proportional to the relationship (unless you were childhood friends before that - you get the idea).

Bottom line is do you still feel like there are things you need to tell her right now to clear the air between the two of you or of a practical nature (that she will accept, nothing that she will likely argue or partly disagree with etc)? If not I'd just be frank and say you appreciate her offer but are looking more for distractions right now and feel like it's too soon to attempt closure... but that's just my take.

>>16472910
I would give her some time alone. Yeah it sucks and it's hard but if she wants to talk to you she will and what's the point in talking if only you want to?

Is it normal to go to the movies with a girl but as friends? I started talking to a girl the past two weeks and she agreed to go with me but I'm worried she thinks it's just for fun

>>16472942
>Is it normal to go to the movies with a girl but as friends?
For girls, yes.

For guys? Not so much.

>>16472935
That's just it: I want to.

I'm not really expecting to fix things up through talking, I mostly just want to get things off my chest, and I'm afraid of not getting my chance even if it just involves sitting her down to listen

Does shy girls likes to be teased? Or they fantasize with it?

Whats the general consensus on asking for breakup sex?

Trying to end things on a good note with this girl, where we seem like we're just too different for each other after 6 months but otherwise there's a fairly good amount of respect for each other.

>>16472942
Dude just casually mention the word date. Like shall we have a meal after the movie date. Etc etc

how do the fellas here feel about nofap?

>>16472988
Masturbation isn't nearly a big enough part of my life to be making special lifestyle choices about it, so I don't.

>>16472988
read the thread if you want some opinions

>>16472988
One word. Placebo.

>>16472985
I thought she'd take the hint after I said it's only her and me going to the movies, a common dating venue, but I'll try this out. Thanks!

Asking here: this doesn't deserve its own thread, when I ask a girl out should I just ask her out or say something like "I think you're cute and seem a nice person, so I want to ask you if you'd like to spend an evening together"?

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>>16470547
Why do bitches have a biological clock? Seems like every time we get serious...kids and marriage becomes a deadline.

Ladies, if the guy is slow getting your hints, how would you feel?
Would you be pissed off at him?

>>16473032
God no. Jesus Christ.

"I'm thinking of doing (activity) on (day). Want to come?" It can be any activity as long as it has some appeal to her and gives you a chance to talk. What sets the romantic context is (a) the obvious suspicion of a single man asking a single woman to spend time with him, and (b) the flirting you're going to do while you're together. (Hence needing the chance to talk during the activity.)

>>16473051
She's a silent type, I have no idea what would she like and probably never will
Also, I want to make it clear I like her, so she can turn me down instantly and I can go on

Should you always have an activity planned when meeting each other, once you're somewhere inbetween dating and 'official'?

I've exhausted the list in the OP, and I'm running out of ideas. And money.

>>16473064
I didn't tell you to ask her what she likes. I said to tell her what YOU are thinking of doing.

Aren't you looking for a companion for your life? Maybe you should start at square one before trying to roll out the red carpet for her. She's not looking for someone to worship her. She wants to add to someone's life as much as he adds to hers. Stop thinking in terms of Hollywood and use the most basic logic you can here.

>I want
And infants want pacifiers to suck on. Sometimes you need to do what's best for your life as opposed to what makes you feel good. Ask her to join you for something fun. Flirt with her when you get there. Date like a man so that women will actually respect you like one.

>>16473037

If he was worth the effort, I'd step my game up. I wouldn't be mad.

>>16473067
The time in between dating and commitment is called dating. You're still dating. If you haven't committed to one another and started strutting around town as a couple, you're dating.

Generally speaking you should have plans. You don't have to stick to them or even do them at all. Just keep momentum going. The lifeblood of a budding relationship is shared experience. If you stop having experiences together, the whole thing stalls.

After several dates the best sorts of future dates you can have are doing completely new things together. Think of some stuff you've never done before: foods you've never eaten, places you've never been, sights you've never seen, etc. Talk to your date about them. If you come to find that neither of you have done those things, it's a perfect choice for a date. Few things are as memorable as sharing novel experiences with someone. Those are the "back when we were first dating" stories that you'll tell decades into the future.

>>16473068
Anytime I tried to do that, she'd end up friendzoning me
Also, I'd rather make ot clear so she wouldn't have to say "I don't know" or "I'm busy", hate those situations

>>16473084
I want you to consider something. Take a step outside of yourself for a second. Look at your posts as though some other person was writing them.

Do you think that if a girl saw a man speaking like that, she would have any respect left for him? Don't you think she would look at that and say "Wow, this guy is a pussy?"

Now step back into your shoes, because this is actually you we're talking about. Stop being a pussy. You're better than this.

Girls, what do you think of uncircumcised penises? Do you hate them, love them or just don't care

>>16473070
What if he's been acting a bit aloof