If you're opening an ask anything thread don't list a million things not to ask, feel bad for whatever boy is sat next to a high maintenance bitch or vice versa

If a girl is secretive about what's in her handbag, it's fair to assume it's sex toys, right?

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>>16449802
Girls
I asked my teacher out for coffee in october. she was my teacher when I was a junior in HS, i am currently in uni 1000 miles away.

I asked her out to strictly coffee calling her by her first name. She said yes, then asked where I was studying and how things were.

Firstly, does she likely think of it as a date? I think she knew I liked her. She is also very intelligent, I can't see her being so oblivious as to think it's purely platonic.

Secondly, how badly did I mess up by not replying until sunday (about a month later)? She hasn't responded yet, and I'm worried she may have changed her mind or is mad that I didn't reply sooner. Do you think she's ignoring me or is it just a coincidence? How long until I know she's ignoring me? Should I resend an email?

Thanks

This means a lot to me, not to be melodramatic but she literally is my world, she is all i think about. i will legitimately consider suicide if she has changed her mind. I would wait a while to do it so she wouldn't blame it on herself.

So I was talking about a failed potential relationship in my class today brought up by a looks change (haircut). Well one of the girls in the class who is engaged brought up the fact that her twin sister is single. I get along with this girl well and was sort of sad when I saw her ring. Did she pick up on this too and that's why she is telling me about her sister? She seemed a bit happy that I was interested (I think).

What kind of sex toy should I get my gf?

>>16449949
Or that it's just none of your business what's in her bag

>>16449898
You must be new here

>>16449976
A big black cock

If you're autistically making excessive eye contact with a girl and she asks "what is it?" what does that mean?

>>16450114
It means she thinks you're staring at her for a reason

>>16449953
If she was your whole world you wouldn't wait a whole fucking month to reply, and how tf can you be an adult and say you'd consider killing yourself just cause a woman doesn't wanna have coffee with you, fucking hell

>>16449953

How long did you know her? How long ago was she your teacher? How old is she?

Just putting this out there, you're being melodramatic and sound angsty as hell. Adults don't tend to play games, stop being a dumbass teenager.

>>16449976

DO NOT get anything by Doc Johnson. Whatever chemical they use in their "real feel" toys smells like burning tires and literally burns you. The higher the quality, the better.

>>16449954
>So I was talking about a failed potential relationship in my class today brought up by a looks change (haircut). Well one of the girls in the class who is engaged brought up the fact that her twin sister is single. I get along with this girl well and was sort of sad when I saw her ring. Did she pick up on this too and that's why she is telling me about her sister? She seemed a bit happy that I was interested (I think).

Your grammar sucks dude. Like horribly... The more try and read through it to figure out what's going on... the less it makes sense...

Were you talking about:
a.) You asking a girl out, and failing because you got a new haircut
b.) Failing with a girl you asked out in general (and it somehow, in some random ass fucking retarded way, related to getting a new haircut)
c.) An esoteric conversation about how a change of looks can influence successes and failures in budding romances; as evidenced by your classmates ?
d.) Gossiping about random classmates

All of those change the potential motivations she would have for mentioning her sister, but I'm going to off-hand say that there's a 90% chance you're just being a dumbass and reading too much in to random shit.

>>16450350
>looks change
>class asked why.
>I wanted to impress girl before a possible third date because she said my hair looked bad
>she doesn't text back when I sent her a photo of me
>girls offer support, say she is probably a bitch
>I look bummed out and sad
>girl I was interested in until I found out she was engaged, mentions sister is single. In a way that she know her sister is looking for someone
>ask about her a bit, don't want to come off too desperate though

Better?
I'll admit the loss of clarification. But you didn't have to go apeshit over some text on the internet.

>>16450284
because i kept typing up replies and then not sending them because i thought they weren't good enough. i never said i was mature, i have large emotional scars because i was abused a lot as a child and have been depressed for as long as i can remember. i know, 3edgy5me.

>>16450332
i knew her when i was in her class, then didn't really talk to her in person as a senior (i did once, but not on a personal level).
She was my teacher 2 years ago (2013-2014).
She is in her mid 40s.

I know i'm angsty but it's because i'm a little bit screwed up in the head.

>>16450381

Mildly bemused and irked is more accurate.

If you're reporting things accurately (a big if) that changes the context quite a bit.

Her interest in you is irrelevant (she has a fiance. You have no shot) she probably just think you'd might be an ok match for her sister.

>>16450425

You have no shot.

Maybe if this was 5 years later, and she was in her 20's, and you weren't as angsty as you are, but as things as stand,

She's not playing games with you (she's 40), she doesn't think of you romantically, she's just taking polite interest in a student (who might be troubled).

>>16450432
Sort of what I was thinking. I get along well with her and she seems to be comfortable around me in class. Maybe a date isn't out of the question, considering her sister is her twin.

So how would go about this? Let the engaged twin play matchmaker or would it be better to take it in my hands?

>>16450440
i don't act like an angsty fuck on the surface. it's all completely private, no one would guess how angsty i am. srs.

>>16449802
Guys:
Does sex feel bad if the pussy's too wet?
I meant to ask my OB about this but I forgot and let my mom accompany me to my last visit.

I'm 7 months pregnant and lately I've noticed that during sex with my fiance it just gushes. I don't have to be turned on at all, there's just so much shit that comes out. Since it's so wet I can barely feel anything, and I'm wondering if it's the same for him. I've asked him, but he's so intent on making me feel secure, etc. during pregnancy that after I asked (to which he replied no, best pussy ever) I noticed he started saying things like "mmm so tight" etc. which is obvious horse shit. He still comes, but once it took him a lot longer than usual.

tl;dr really wet pussy=less pleasure??

>>16450519
It does not. Quite nice, actually.

>>16450440
also, fuck you you condescending fuck, i'm aware that i have little to no chance with her, but you don't have to assume that i "might be troubled" and am "angsty." It's like you've never heard of the difference between the public/private self. I'm a cyborg, I would appear normie to most people, I blend in well with society. You assume I'm some completely unsuccessful troglodyte, go fuck yourself.

nothing irks me more than people on 4chan with a condescending tones.

being cold and emotionless doesn't make you superior you autistic fuck. I know i'm making assumptions about you, but you sound like the typical condescending /fit/-tier poster who thinks they have everything figured out but in reality is just as lost as the rest of us.

i shouldn't even post this because it only confirms what you say about me but i'll just do it for the lulz

>>16449953
Doesn't sound like it's anything more than a catchup. You've probably lost your chance by not replying for a month though.

is talking about porn (likes, dislikes, etc) with a male friend a bad thing if i have a boyfriend? is it something i shouldn't do? i get no sexual pleasure out of it.

>>16450573
It's bad as in bad form, not bad as in immoral (since you're not doing it for the sexual tension aspect). Here's a simple fix: if you want to have those conversations, do it in a group which includes your boyfriend.

>>16449949
She might have tampons, or medication, or an embarrassing book, or a photo of the child she murdered, or a spare pair of panties, or a little toy from her childhood, or a speeding ticket, or any sorts of things she doesn't want you to see.

Don't be nosy.

>>16450573
female responding
even if you get no pleasure out of it, you can't say the same for the guy you're talking to. I would also not do it because it might make your boyfriend feel bad or misunderstand. Even if he never finds out it's disrespectful, unless he's explicitly stated otherwise.

>>16449949
No, who would carry sex toys in a purse? They would get dirty

stupid horny boy

>>16450539
>nothing irks me more than people on 4chan with a condescending tones.
But that's pretty much everyone here.

I appreciate 4chan because it taught me to be more forgiving of tone and to have a tougher skin.

You've only said off the wall things so far. Threatening suicide, being so indecisive that you put off a response for a month, saying your issues is an excuse when it's merely a reason.
You may have your mask on tight, but that doesn't mean it'll never leak. You haven't given us anything that will make us want to encourage you. I worry about this poor girl.

ps I'm a new anon

I asked in the last thread but never got answered before the thread died, how do you manage in a small town where there are more single guys than girls? How do I beat the competition?

>>16450589
>>16450580
i don't know why i didn't realize it. it just felt like another conversational topic and not flirting, but the nature of the subject is sexual so, don't know what to think, guess i'll avoid it. i guess i should go straight to the source and ask boyfriend what's ok and what's not ok. we are newly dating, i don't know how i'd bring it up, it's kind of awkward and embarrassing. also, this male friend only recently popped back into my life, i have no romantic or sexual interest in him at all, but i spend more time talking to him than i do with my boyfriend, i wonder if this could be a problem?
thank you for your responses.

>>16449949
>Inb4 its a brick against burglars and thieves
>counts as a deadly weapon
>burglar becomes braindead
>victim gets 25
>UK Freedom etc...

>>16450613
Be the most attractive choice.

To girls: is chest hair still a turn on these days?

Yes I have chest hair, obviously.

>>16450634
to me, yes, i like body hair.

>>16450634
It's better than no chest hair.

>>16450618
It could become a problem. Eventually you'll need to flip that balance around. Again, I can't stress the value of simply bringing your boyfriend into the picture. You talking with your friend all the time is a problem. The three of you always having some conversation or another going is as transparent and innocent as possible.

>>16449802
ladies... a guy whose 5'8". what's the verdict?

short? tall enough? not tall enough?

everything else constant of course

>>16450646
I don't care what a guy's height is, if he's stupid enough not to read the OP before asking a question, I'm not going to date him.

>>16450634
personally, I like it, as long as the chest is nice and chiseled too, and the hair isn't bear-mode/arab. Also I think that the combination of pale skin and dark hair is the least ideal.
Inb4 you call me picky, I'm engaged to my dream man.

>>16450649
>I don't care what a guy's height is


bullshit confirmed

Any feedback on >>16450464? Should I just ask her next week if her twin is going to be in town for the holidays?

>>16450667
Yes. Take the lead.

>>16450666
Did you even read the rest of the post or are you an idiot who decided to get mad prematurely?

>>16450654
>nice and chiseled too

10 months worth of push ups it is then.

To both

Which is slightly more attractive?

Slightly overweight or slightly skinny?

Not talking about legit overweight with lots of fat and a big belly or a spoopy skelly

>>16450601
i would never do anything to hurt her. also, i was experiencing a negative mood swing as i made my first few replies. that was mostly hyperbole, i sometimes get very strong mood swings and it is difficult to be logical or objective.

i would never do anything to hurt her, on my honor. there are very few people that i think deserve to hurt.

i'm not new, and this whole Hurr let's avoid making 4chan a hugbox by being condescending thing is retarded in my opinion. 4chan is about the inherent equality in anonymity, it is a 21st century confession booth, a place for acceptance no matter how fucked you are, because for some of us, this is all we have. there is somehting beautiful and cathartic in the anonyminity of 4chan.

>>16450680
If we're only talking slightly, it doesn't really matter. If we're talking more extreme, I'd take overweight over underweight

>>16450680
I'd rather have slightly skinny women, but I'm not very forgiving on either side. I drift around 5-10 lbs above my ideal.

>>16450671

OP's post: "avoid asking common questions"

doesn't say i can't, and yes I read your drivel

>>16450694
My, don't you have the sweetest personality? Is that a Napoleon complex I detect?

>>16450697
>calls me stupid
>calls me an idiot
>i'm the shit head

you sound like quite the catch yourself

>>16450701
I am, and I know it :^)

>>16450519

Hmm... Yes and no? My girlfriend gets hyper wet sometimes (she even squirted the first time we had sex--which surprised the crap out of the both of us because she'd never done it before xD), at that level you do lose a bit of sensation, but if you're lacking contact friction, you can always adjust positions to find ones that create more (sometimes it's even a quick fix. Throw a pillow under your back while doing missionary, completely different sensation with way more intensity). On the flipside, being too dry can definitely start to hurt, especially if you're going for any prolonged period of time.

Better wet than dry.

You can fix too wet, but too dry... lube isn't 100% effective, is annoying/messy to deal with, and doesn't necessarily last.

>>16450464
Go ahead and ask if you're interested, but keep in mind, every twin I've ever known has had wildly different personalities to their counter part.

>>16450573
>>16450618

Part of it depends on the personalities invovled, part of it depends on he relationships invovled.

I got a friend who's bugged me about porn a few times, asking what I like and what my preferences are; but she's a pretty uniquely forward individual like that, her boyfriend is my best friend of like a decade and a half, and we have a relationship that's pretty close (my gf's said it's pretty obvious she looks at me like a close friend she admires, and I treat her like a little sister than I adore).

However, if you don't have a pretty unique relationship, and it's not common knowledge that openly comfortable talking about that kind of stuff to absolutely everyone, it could definitely send mixed signals to everyone involved.

I think it's kind of an issue that you communicate more with your friend than your BF, but that might also be that I value open lines of communication so much in relationships because I think they're the core of what make them work.

>>16450669
>>16450736
Thanks anons.

My girlfriend and I have both smoked pot, separately. We smoked a little in college and haven't done it in a few years. We're both pretty inexperienced with weed.

I would like to get high with her, and have sex.

Any advice on high sex?

>>16450783
Advice? On what? It's fun. Careful not to forget to be quiet if you have neighbors.
I love high sex.

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>>16450563
why would she change her mind? was that so rude that she'll change her mind?

i barely even notice the days going by, a month feels like nothing to me

>>16450906

Yeah... that's definitely something that becomes more true post college age when you've been in the grind for a while.

You know you're talking to someone young when they're marking time in days, hours, and minutes, and sometimes even seconds, and you're thinking in years, months, and maaaaybe weeks

>>16450917
so wouldn't that make her less likely to care that i waited so long? she's in her mid 40s

good places to meet people solo?

cause I tried bars and found them boring/not very social. just people in social circles and old people by themselves drinking.

I really want to meet new people, but it seems kinda difficult by yourself.

>>16449949
Could be stuff like tampons, or maybe she has a CCW. Or it could be something else altogether. People like privacy for lots of reasons.

>>16450519
>Does sex feel bad if the pussy's too wet?
No. If you're 7 months pregnant the baby bump would be the biggest issue if anything.

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>>16450680
I prefer a bit over than under, but I also prefer women thicker than average.

>>16450928

You've already asked this question, and gotten responses.

Other people have given you other suggestions, but I'll repeat what I said the last time:

Your'e going to the wrong bars and you need to step up your social game and actively try if you want to actually meet new people.

>>16450941

is it as simple as trying new places? also I like clubs but i'd feel weird going to a club by myself.

I dont consider myself a 9/10 or whatever so meeting people solo might also be difficult. im in shape but hardly the type who can pick up easily. im willing to try, and im in good shape and all, but i'm not sure if I am the type who can be successful at bars.

>>16450951
>can I really meet new people by going to new places??
You can't be serious

>>16450783
Bring munchies and water
If you have trouble with focus or hardness, take a break and try again when youre more sober.

>>16450953

I mean...what makes other bars different? I cant exactly bother people that are with their friends (they want to be left alone).

I just dont see how bars are an ideal place for meeting new people. I just feel out of place by myself.

>>16450956
Believe it or not anon, people dont go to bars to be with their friends, you can just drink at home with them if thats what you want

People go to bars to have social interaction with other people, there is no reason to go there otherwise

>>16450965

I just dont see how it can be successful. So I get there, sit at a counter, and have a drink. then somehow, im supposed to meet people that arent depressed alcoholics drinking by themselves.

it just doesnt seem...ideal, I guess?

im open to other ideas, it doesnt have to be a bar.

>>16450956

People do it all the time. I've definitely becomes friends with strangers who've approached me while I was with a friend, and who I've approached while solo.

I've explained EXACTLY why bars are good for meeting people.

If you feel out of place by yourself, that's on you. Either work past it, or find somewhere else that matches your style, but your personal successes and failures don't change the fact that bars are inherently supposed to be social places.

I'm having feelings for my coworker

>meet her, try to be as cold as possible like I usually am to avoid myself getting consumed by feelings I get for cute girls
>she keeps being nice and sweet to me
>engages in lots of conversations with me
>have a lot of the same interests
>im making a pizza in the kitchen and she evens out the toppings on it
>starting to get legit super strong feelings for her....nooooooo
and it gets worse
>coworker puts on song on the speakers, lyrics something about picked up a girl and she pulled out a dick bigger than mine, couldn't help put laughing
>she sneaks up behind me, says something along the lines of "you're like, 8 years old!"
>shrug it off, couldn't help myself from laughing at a dumb song like this being played out of nowhere
>later I cross a corner round the hallway, we're right next to each other suddenly and me being a 6'4 spooky dude she makes out this terrified gasp. I start to feel really bad, a little bit like a monster, think maybe she's scared of me or something.
>I joke about it like I tend to do for the rest of the shift, I say stuff like "hey watch out, I'm coming up behind ya no need to scream!" which she laughed too...i'm not sure how legitimately because I don't remember now.
fuck man, I hate having feelings, it hurts

>>16450968
Bookstore, I like half price books. This doesn't work if you don't read.

Conventions, everyone there already has similar interests. In the case of nerdy cons, you're one step away from being friends, the connection is that big already.

Join a club for something.

>>16450995

do people really want to be bothered in a bookstore though? that would ruin my day if I was a girl, imo. the only way it works is if she already finds you attractive.

cons, too seasonal

clubs...well I go to the gym but thats obviously not a place to socialize

I get the sense that I need to get in better shape. people are already very friendly now that im pretty fit, but if I get in even better shape then meeting girls or other people should be a lot easier.

so I guess my solution is to hit the gym more. idk. easier to get people to like you when you look great, isnt it?

>>16450972
The fear of rejection is strong in this one.

Learn to let go of your attachments.

>>16451007
I don't know. She does everything to push my buttons the right way then she makes me have doubts when my feelings actually come, it's like something out of a nightmare.

>>16451006
>being bothered in a bookstore
Depends on how you do it. You don't see them in the aisle, walk all the way to them and start a big conversation. You browse the bookstore, reading as you go, and if you end up next to an attractive woman reading something interesting...


Excuse me, sorry to interrupt, but I'm looking for something interesting to read in this section..

Brief conversation has begun, and it didn't start with a pickup line, so she will feel more comfortable. Where you go from there is up to you.

As for cons, I live in Wisconsin, and there are plenty of winter conventions. Hell, Daishocon is coming up, and is inside a waterpark hotel.

>>16450968
Try joining some kind of club, volunteer organization, sports team, anything to meet more people, doesnt have to have chicks in it

The more people you know, the easier it is to find social connection with others and clubs/sports teams/volunteering is by far the quickest way to get friends

You can literally just join a club and be upgraded from a nobody to everyone in it to a friend/acquaintance, no actual social work done at all

No need to meet the women that wait in bars, wear slutty clothes and then want every dude thats not 9/10+ to fuck off, get introduced to a good one through a friend, meet one at the club with your interests

>>16451015
She makes you have doubts, or, you doubt yourself.

>>16451023
I don't know, all I know is she makes me feel pain whether I'm with her or thinking about her, and if I tried to forget about her now I'd feel just as much pain.

>>16450972
On the offset i would say to not shit where you eat, do the man thing and smother your feels with a pillow

But the fact that she initiates is kinda hard to avoid

Is she dating someone or is she single?

If she is single i see no problem in inviting her out somewhere

Girls
I've been doing this group project for college this past week and talked with this one chick who was helping out. We got along fairly well, shared some interests, etc. So I asked if she wanted to go out and for her phone number and she said yes. Standard shit.

Next few days I'm texting her the usual BS casual stuff and ask if she's seen any movies lately. She replies with "yeah I want to see a movie with X last week" with "X" being her boyfriend.

Was I completely oblivious or did she just lead me on? And if it's the latter, why do some women do that shit?

>>16451034
Sounds like she didn't bring him up until she thought it was appropriate to bring him up. How did you 'ask her out'?

>>16451034
She probably thought you just wanted to be friends. Not her fault you jumped to conclusions

>>16451034
Some people have different definitions of going out, maybe she though you werw just asking if she wanted to go to a party or something?

Thats kinda stretching it tho, i think she either added another "beta orbiter" to the collection, or is just a little socially oblivious

>>16451037
I said something along the lines of "Hey you should give me your phone number. Maybe we could go out sometime."

>>16451049
Hmm, that shows more than platonic interest on your part IMO. >>16451041 is right though, she might have interpreted it differently. Who knows?

>>16451049
From a girls point of view, saying you have a boyfriend is awkward. It's like saying "I know you're interested in me" and the guy might not be which can end up being a bit embarrassing. It's much easier to just bring it up over text or something casually. Most normal girls don't really want to lead people on, but everyone always wants more friends.

>>16451026
So you're fucked up? Yearning isn't supposed to be painful.

>>16451049
Sounds to me like she was oblivious. Drop it like it contains a fatal dose of radiation.

>reconnect with old high school friend last fall
>occasionally hang out, but not often since she was out of school for so long and wants to finish her degree asap.
>most recent outing was back in August, where we went hiking
>she ended up overexerting herself and got sick
>talked occasionally since, but lately her replies feel like a courtesy and she only replies once. No hangouts either.
>her birthday was Monday
>ask How's she been with school and if she had any plans
>says she's good and that she was with her best friend for the day visiting a museum she wanted to check out
>offer to take her to dinner on a day she's free to celebrate her bday
>no reply

Part of me feels she got scared off or embarrassed after that hiking day, but should i assume she's not interested or that she's busy with her 4 classes?

Should i politely confront her about it?

>inb4 needy
I'm not blowing up her phone or anything of the sort. Last time we talked was last month since we've been busy with midterms.

>>16451067
I'm going to pick at what you've said, don't take it personal plz
>mentioning bf awkward
You could just say no, and skip all the bullshit in the first place. People are too fucking polite, and it leads to ridiculous shit like this.
>easier to bring up over text
Backbone
>dont want to lead people on
Apparently they would prefer to lead them on instead of admitting they aren't interested. Mixed signals lead to hurt feelings.

What the fuck is this spam filter bullshit

Are there any girls who like firearms? Or am I just going to be looked at like a sociopath forever.

>>16451105
There are, but they live closer to rural areas and tend to have much more traditional and ignorant world views.

>>16451099

I'm a dude, but I've seen posts on here that pretty much exactly go:

WTF why would she AUTOMATICALLY assume she's hitting on me and tell me she has a boyfriend? I was just trying to be nice. wtf is wrong with girls. Fucking stuck up SJW's

Seriously... There is no winning with you lady hating robots and frogs...

Honestly, if you think about it, it makes a lot more sense that they assume you're a normal guy who can just roll with shit (like most of us do) than have to peer in to your mind and predict your particular kind of over-sensitivity (offended because they tried not to offend you, or offended when they're blunt because they assume you won't be offended).

>>16451172

er..

>Automatically assume I'm hitting on her*

Fixed. It's late.

Girls, how do you feel about 'topping from the bottom'?

I'm naturally submissive, and yet I realise most girls prefer to be dominated in bed. Part of what turns me on is making my partner happy, so I'd be willing to try and step outside my comfort zone and be the more dominant partner, but it would be a slow process. I'm pretty shy, and I think I'd pretty much need verbal permission every time I wanted to do something dominant. Therefore I'd still need the girl to order me about for a little bit, at least until being dominant comes a little bit more naturally. Would that be a complete turn-off for naturally submissive girls?

>>16451098
Anyone?

>>16451201
I'm pretty bossy, that works fine for me. Obviously varies from girl to girl though

>>16451201
>so I'd be willing to try and step outside my comfort zone and be the more dominant partner, but it would be a slow process. I'm pretty shy, and I think I'd pretty much need verbal permission every time I wanted to do something dominant.

From the sounds of it I'm guessing you're talking about this purely theoretically?

I'm a dude that likes to be a little more submissive in bed, and puts their partner first (actually, it was to the degree that my first half dozen or so times I just never came. They'd usually come after like 15 or so minutes, and it wasn't until way later that I could find anyone who could keep up). From personal experience, you just learn to be more comfortable with it.

Honestly, I love it when things are slow, soft, and very intimate, and I find it super hot when a girl takes charge. On the other hand though, my girlfriend definitely likes it way more rough and when I pretty much dominate her. Her hardest orgasms are always when I'm pinning her against the bed as she tries to claw her way out from under me and at my back.

Variety is the spice of life. You think you like this thing now, but eventually you learn to like others. I know I've definitely found myself enjoying rougher sex and pushing those boundaries more and more.

Don't be so quick to put yourself in a box. Part of what keeps sex exciting is experimentation.

>>16451201
It totally depends on the girl.
I think for you, setting up a good safe word system would be nice.
I like the stop light system, since I like the in between. She can mutter yellow to get you to slow down. Red can stop everything. And she can say green if she wants to to ask you to go further

I think the best way is to discuss quite a bit before you try. Ask her.
>How do you feel about spanking? Facial slapping? Choking?
>Being held down loosely, being forced down, being tied down?
>Dirty talk? Insults? Degredation?
>Does anything scare her?

For me, my facial expressions are very telling. Personally I'm not gonna have a face of fear or say "no, stop!" Without meaning it. I'm mostly grinning or have a determined look. Ask her a bit about how far you'd like the roleplaying to go.

Once you've got a bit of framework, just go at it. Afterwards have lots of aftercare for you both and go over how it felt. Ive had tons of times where I said "yeah, I didn't really like it when you did this and that." That's okay! It's part of the dialogue. Clarify this point with her too. What is the procedure if you go too far and she isn't feeling comfortable with the safe words?

Why would a girl almost completely ignore you in class but text you later with much more enthusiasm?

Male here
Going to a party soon and want to make out with a girl, haven't done so in ages and I want to, I don't really care who I get with, can handle myself if it gets any further than that but.

>how can I go about making the girl know I want to make out
>how can I make out with the girl.
I'm aware of how cringed this sounds and how it makes me sound like I'm 12 but whatever.
>thank you for any answers, males welcome to answer too

>>16451292
>Someone did something insignificant. What does it mean?
>Nothing significant. Stop overthinking it.

>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing

>>16451148
just fuck my shit up i guess then

>>16451172
Not a frog or woman hater, just sick of pussyfooting. Bluntness is best.

No matter what you do, someones gonna get hurt. Some people call me an asshole for being too blunt. But days later thanked me for not being vague. Others just dislike me because they can't handle the truth. Whatever.

Seems like you still took it personally.

>>16451292
Maybe she wants something done.
Or she was just focused on class.

>>16451292
Maybe she has a life outside of you

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>girls
as a guy, I start to slowly melt every time I see a girl in skater skirts, tight pencil skirts or corsets (I know, totally different stuff. So I'm wondering is there any male equivalent, some male eastetics, does not have to be clothes, but must be a choice so to say, that makes you secretly melt a little? like most of the times off course, a landwhale in a corset doesn't do anything for me either.

girls:

I met this girl, I invited her to my place where we had a lot of fun, (no kissing / sex) we both laughed alot and enjoyed the time. since then we texted alot every day and we both starts conversations and she writes me even if she has nothing to say, or just to tell me what shes doing at the moment. she also said shes very amused by what I text her even if its very stupid or just jokes. I think that means she really wants my attention, (and likes me alot) right?

we already have plans for our next date, should I try to kiss her already? I dont want to scare her, and she looks really amazing, so I'm afraid shes out of my league, although her ex looked like an ugly hobo...

we both finished long realationships just some weeks ago. I'm ready for a new girlfriend because I feel lonely, but I have no Idea how girls feel about this...thx for advice

>>16451098
>>16451207
Guess my question was too long?
I'll create a thread later today then

>>16451518

I'm a dude, and I'm going to basically ignore all the stuff you told us about you and her (because while I read it, it's irrelevant and biased).

Kiss her when the time mood feels right. Maybe it's while you're on a pier watching the moon, maybe it's while you're just standing around, maybe it's when you've dropped her off at her place/car, maybe it's the next date.

Don't rush things, don't even think about it. Just feel the moment, and if things are getting romantic and there's tension in the air, you'll feel it, and so will she, and you'll go for it; unless you fuck yourself over by overthinking this shit.

>>16451534
ur right but if I wait much longer I'm going completely nuts. shes all I can think about every second. so the right moment for me would be right now. but I don't think girls have so much craving...

>>16451098
>>16451527
people who don't reply are basicly retarded, assholes or don't have the balls to say no, which is why u should avoid her and find a girl who is nice to you instead - there are alot out there trust me.

>>16451368
Not with clothing, but some things I adore;
>dimpled cheeks
>bushy dark eyebrows
>when they have specific little tics I associate with men, like sitting with their ankle on their knee, playing with a lighter, compulsively drumming on things
>peach fuzz in their neck, catching a glimpse of their happy trail
>full body stretching, yawning, and laughter, eating with obvious enthusiasm
>responding strongly and playfully to kids and animals

Also, nice eyes and nice smile >>>> anything else physically.

>>16451632
I forgot sideburns (if they work, of course, not tryhard overblown hipsershit) and most other types of facial hair, and although rare if I spot a guy who is young but already greying that's a huge turn on.

Also when their beards don't match the color of their head hair, especially red beards with another hair color.

>>16451518
She's only out of your league if she thinks so, that's how it works. She obviously likes you and that's all that matters. Go in for the kill/kiss.

>>16451656
thx <3

For girls, but guys can answer too. You know the manlet meme, where girls hate any guys under 6 feet tallm. But I want to hear it from you. How important is your partner's height?

>>16451842
guy here
I would say not important at all, but I'm 195 so I don't usually meet women taller than me.

>>16451632
thanks, that was informative, i was mainly interested in the surprising ones and i'm quite surprised by the tics :P

>>16451842
The only thing that matters to me is that they're not a head shorter than me. A man is (if you're not trained physically) easily stronger and built more solid than you regardless of height difference, but once someone's a lot shorter you do get to the point where the whole idea of the smaller/lighter woman is gone.
Still I would very much prefer for a guy to be taller than me. This is also because I always felt too tall for a girl growing up, and being taller than a guy reinforces an awkwardness inside of me that "real women" are shorter than me. But I have known enough guys a bit shorter than me to realize that this is mostly a big deal at first, and once you grow used to being around each other it doesn't stand out to you anymore and you are (especially in love, of course) very much aware of who's the man and who's the woman, height be damned. I would definitely not miss out on an awesome guy I was very attracted to simply because I was slightly taller.

Having said that I personally don't like it when a man is a head taller than me. It's no big deal if I like the person, but I prefer it when there's at most an inch or two between us. This because eye contact, making out, hugging etc all feel much more natural and physically comfortable to me with someone around my height. Not to mention for sexual things... almost all common positions work out best when there's no huge height difference. It just feels more normal and natural to me. I have no issue whatsoever with being taller than a guy in heels. In fact, I kind of like the novelty of that for a night out, and there's something about taking them off at the end of the night and being a bit shorter again for intimacy.

Just one person's opinion and I hope I made it somewhat clear. Also I am slightly below 5'8 if that matters, but where I live average height is pretty damn tall and I am more or less average for a woman of my generation.

>>16451864
>surprised by the tics
It's just something that is a bit alien to me. Girls tend to sit cross legged and swap legs every once in a while. If I sit next to a guy who is constantly flexing his leg a bit or tapping a pen or something, it's like a glimpse in the other side. I think it would be comparable to how some guys (who are into that) feel when they see a girl effortlessly make a perfect updo while talking, or do something minor in a slightly different way to not damage their nail polish. It's a tiny and trivial detail but sort of reminds you that they're not the same sex so that is exciting.

Girls, do you know that if a man is wearing slacks and there's a protrusion in the crotch area it's just his pants bunching up and not a boner?!

>>16451842
I'm 5'6" and my love life and sex life have been great. Surely there have been lots of women who passed me up because of my height, but the fact that I have enough confidence in everything else to use an arrogant word like "surely" keeps me going just fine. I guess the importance of height doesn't overwhelm the million other things worth admiring in a guy.

>>16451935
Yes. I'm also aware that if there's a protrusion when he's standing up, it's his genitals. And that's okay. I'm as comfortable with the bulge in your pants as you are with the bulges in my blouse.

>>16451842
This all depends on the person. I'm 5'6 and I would like my guy to be 5'6 to 6'2. Any shorter or taller makes kissing uncomfortable.

When is long distance worth it and when is it not? I'm in a situation where we'd be long distance for longer than we've been together. Been together 7 months, she was gone for 2, and I'll be gone for at least a year.

Had lunch and coffee with a female classmate of mine today.

Should I message about casually getting together today or shall I wait a day or two?

>>16451999
Long distance works when the distance is decreasing over time and you have the money to vist

>>16451999
When it's fairly short term, cannot be avoided, has a definitive end date, is an unfortunate period in the relationship rather than the default nature of the relationship itself, involves the best attempts from both sides to make the most of the circumstances and carries a solid plan for how to pick the momentum back up when the distance closes.

>>16451999
Do you have plans?
Will you be able to visit regularly?
Can you schedule time for each other (video or audio chats, messages and the like)?

>>16452000
You should use your extra free time today to check out some new and interesting ideas for what to do with her next time. Lunch and coffee were fine, don't get me wrong. Let's just work on doing something more novel and memorable next time. Perhaps she mentioned something she enjoys during your lunch today? Go look into that thing on your own. Find an upcoming opportunity to indulge in it together, learn some salient information about it, etc. That way you're armed with something either very new and captivating or considerate and thoughtful (or both!) when you pitch your next date to her.

There's no rush. If anything, you'd be screwing yourself out of a better opportunity by not using this time wisely.

>>16451999
if you can regularly visit it might work, but seems kinda pointless otherwise.
you say at least a year, that could be much longer or?

I asked her out to coffee on thursday, she said she was busy for the next few day but I need to definitely ask her next week.
Ask her yesterday. No response.
Should I give up?

>>16452028
Pretty much man. That is, unless she is the one to initiate contact, then and there you try again.

>>16452028
Yes. Absolutely yes.

I know you're still holding out hope, but I want you to consider something: you've asked twice, so she knows you're interested. If she too is interested then there is nothing stopping her from getting back to you herself. You won't miss anything. But if the phone doesn't beep, rest 100% assured that she indeed just wasn't into you. Now is the time for you to walk away.

>>16451292
social anxiety? uninhibited online?

I'm waiting for my gf to really do something, after 6 months, to really show that she loves me and that she's ready to reciprocate more in light of all the effort I'm putting in.

It seems obviously wrong for me to expect her to read my mind, but I really don't know how else to bring up the topic. It's her birthday tomorrow, and I'm really hoping that something happens that'll reassure me that I'm not just wasting time with this person.

I really don't know what to do, how to get this kind of conversation going, because I'm ready to leave if I have to but I want to give her some avenue to do something-- hoping that she will.

What do?

>>16452012
Thanks for the advice, the lunch&coffee situation arose from convenience since it's after the only class we attend together.

So I shall wait a few days and invite her for something different, maybe related to the class we're taking?

>>16452047
Is she personally interested in the class you're taking? Or is there something related to that class which neither of you have ever done before? If so then go ahead. Otherwise I would suggest trying something a bit more original, or at least tailored to something she mentioned about herself during lunch. Surely she talked about herself a bit and I expect that you were attentive.

Wait however long it takes for you to come up with such an intriguing or opportune idea that you yourself can't wait to go try it out. That's when you invite her. Remember that the end-game here is to get into a relationship where you share your life with her while she shares hers with yours, all the while also exploring new things together. That's how you form bonds. What you're doing now is a demo of that process. Don't spend time simply for the sake of spending time. Practice what you want this situation to develop into. Share your interests with her. Share in hers. Grow your life while she's in the passenger seat with you. Those are the kinds of things which she'll be recounting in stories decades from now, not "he enjoyed talking to me during lunch so we talked some more during dinner."

>>16452045
>her birthday
>reassure me
You're barking up the wrong tree Anon. It doesn't sound like you're in this relationship for the right reasons.

>>16452055
Actually she's interested, and I happen to be well off in some parts of the class where she sees herself to be lacking.

I have thought of inviting her to some study session together, while also telling her that we can go out for something else afterwards.
Now I just need to find out what I could do in combination and how I could phrase it well.

Again, thanks for the (long) advice.

>>16452095
Study sessions are great ways to spend time together and familiarity is an asset--it breeds comfort. But comfort is not the whole of dating. In fact if you think about it, dating is often by its very nature uncomfortable. It's meant to put you into a new situation. The newness is where the excitement comes from.

Studying together is a great idea...for later. Skip it for this next time and please do the "something else." And don't tell her "something else." Don't tell her "we can." Tell her what your ideas are.

>Hey, I'm thinking of doing (activity) on (day). Want to come?

>>16452060
I guess I'm just tired of waiting. I've got the present and plans with her friends set out, but it feels like the last stretch for me if I just don't get the reaction/response I'm hoping for

>>16452107
It's just that you've picked among the worst possible battlegrounds to make your last stand. This is her birthday. This day is hers. It's going to end catastrophically badly if you try to put your needs into the picture here. No one would have your back behind the following statement:
>He tried to make my birthday about him.

>>16452045
What about you doing something really special for her?
This is her day. When is your birthday? It'd be appropriate for her to do something for you then, but tomorrow she is queen. You'll get your turn.

But you can play it like this:
Use tomorrow to tell her about how much you like her. Tell her all the things you like about her and about how happy you are to be in a relationship with her. Telling you're looking forward to your time together.
She'll probably reciprocate and say similar things, or she'll look hesitant and bring up how she's not ready.

I might save the actual "what are we" conversation until tomorrow, just in case it goes south. It'd be awkward on her birthday.

>>16452115
Fair enough, any recommendations on when a better time would be, or how to go about doing things?

>>16450646
I feel so bad for short guys
I am 5'7" and would never date a guy under 6'0", but that's the bare minimum, 6'2" is what I usually end up going for.

>>16452121
The day is mostly just her coming back from work, with me visiting her sometime during. After I pick her up, gift/flowers in hand, were meeting up with her friends at the pub before crashing into bed.

Any suggestions to improve this would be great, I'm reasonably flexible with these things.

>>16452130
Well you unintentionally answered this.
>>16451842

>go on adv for advice

>end up reading about people trying to make other people insecure about height/weight/whatever

I just got back from the gym, fuck right off. I hope your partners leave you for a hotter, thinner, more attractive person.

why is everyone here so shallow?

>>16452133
What's the plan at the pub? Will there be cake? How late are you getting home? Are you really just going to crash in bed or will you have a couple hours?

I'd suggest having something the next day (or whenever you two are free) to have just you two date. This is the friend birthday. You still need the romantic birthday.

>>16452143
It's like this fucking everywhere. People are superficial. Just don't listen to them.

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>>16452143

>>16452149

I mean, I like honesty but is this how it really is?

some people go on and on about personality/sense of humor/etc but I guess it boils down to one thing: looks.

like the height topic. girls say it doesnt matter but they do care. it's a metric just like weight is.

>>16450736
I'd say it's the opposite...you can fix dry with lube. We always adjust positions during sex, everything feels the same to me aka like nothing at all
He's well endowed and used to hurt me (just a couple months ago), I could feel every inch of him and my cooch would hug him even properly lubricated... but I guess the muscles in my vagina are relaxing in preparation for childbirth or something. It feels like he's dipping into a bucket of water. I don't think I properly conveyed how bad it is in my first post. Like I don't feel him at all, when he puts it in then pulls back out the first time it's already coated in white-ish wet stuff...he calls it "cum" but it's probably just the increased discharge during pregnancy, or maybe it releases stuff thinking that the dick is a baby idfk
I just hope everything goes back to normal after pregnancy, or else I am going to fall into a deep, deep depression. Inb4 kegels, I've tried those before when I dated an Asian guy who was insecure about his 4 incher. I did a ton of research and was consistent, they just didn't work at all for me.

>>16452158
Depends. Most people are willing to forgo personality for just big tits, ass, dick, pretty face, etc. even if the person is an uncaring asshole. That's why you never go for people everyone else screams over for being hot, they have a black heart on the inside.

>>16452024
Could be perm. I invited her out but she declined.

>>16452006
I expect being back home maybe 4 times a year. The move is from ny to ca. We would he able to talk for sure. But no real physical contact except like a month a year.

>>16452002
I'd consider it an unfortunate part of the relationship, I offered for her to come out but she declined. I don't take that as a negative, since she'd be giving up a lot but it just sucks.

>>16452165

sometimes I think im doing things wrong

like, why do I treat people nice? what does it get me? am I supposed to be an asshole like these other dudes? am I cockblocking myself by being polite/kind?

I dont understand this stuff sometimes.

>>16450936
it really doesn't seem to be an issue for him, if anything me being preg makes him want sex just as often because my tits got bigger. It just makes certain positions awkward since I'm so heavy now. Like when he wants me to prop myself up on top of him with my back to his chest....yeah my arms give out after like 2 minutes. Then again I'm not your typical American slob who uses pregnancy as an excuse to get fat, most people couldn't even tell I was pregnant until I was like 6 months and finally had a noticeable bump

>>16452176
I really can't answer you that. I've always wondered that myself. But I hate people who act like shit just because they look good. No reason to be an ass just because you won the genetic lottery.

>>16452145
She's one of those "early to bed, early to rise" types, so
>Just gonna get drinks and destress
>Cake yes
>Probably before 9pm
>I'll probably have the energy, she'll be struggling.

There's probably better options for the day after, but I'm just not creative enough in that realm.

>>16452187

yeah I just cant be an asshole on purpose. only if someone upsets me, will I treat them like shit.

>>16452158
>>16452149
Dude are you seriously getting butthurt about people wanting to date someone that they're attracted to? That makes no sense at all. Physical attraction is just the initial thing. Like oh, I would mate and/or reproduce with that person. Now let's see what their personality, etc. is like since we're not just monkeys and would have to live together and interact and shit...I mean I'm an attractive girl I have no idea how it is for really ugly people but my short fat Asian friend still has standards, so I'd imagine that's the norm for everyone

>>16452194

im not butthurt about physical attraction

im butthurt about all the cliche "be yourself" advice that seemingly is bullshit when in reality all that matters is a pretty face or nice body.

>>16452192
Yeah, you guys need to set up a date. Take her to see something cool, treat her to a fancy meal (home cooked or restaurant), just anything that is you two together.

>>16452194
No, I'm butthurt about people like you who feel the need to act like, pardon my French, but like a bitch just because they look good. I mean attraction is part of it, but I mean if our personalities don't match then the relationship will go nowhere. I don't want a fuckbuddy, I want a relationship. If I wanted a fuckbuddy I would go looking for a prostitute.

>>16452176
In my experience as a grill, the so-called 'nice guys' are generally passive-aggressive pieces of shit. I've dated several. Then I finally dated a guy that they would all consider an asshole based off of his looks, confidence, etc. Like my ex would label him "typical Euro douche". But he's so fucking perfect in every way. A lack of confidence is just damningly unsexy. He also is much more hard-working, has stronger morals, more active, idk he's just better in every way...my exes were all talk but at the end of the day wouldn't accomplish anything in life, yet they could write you a 10 page essay on how to live it.

>>16452221

so being an asshole is ok if you are confident

I see.

>>16452227
No, people who nice guys consider assholes are well-adjusted men who can get laid. Not actual bad people.

Reading comprehension, try it sometime.

>>16452230

I see people all the time tolerate guys that treat them like shit.

so im curious, is being nice a genuine flaw? do girls see it as weakness, or feminine?

>>16452230
So basically, people who get piss ass drunk, spend all their time at parties, and do shit tons of drugs are well adjusted men. Get the fuck off this board, you're not helping anyone.

>>16452204
The thing is that "pretty face and nice body" are subjective. Some girls like a guy to be lean and muscular. Some girls like a guy to be chubby and huggable. Some girls like a guy to be stick thin and fashionable. It's subjective.

And personality does make a difference- how they hold themselves, how they talk.
Personality can make people become attracted to them physically. Look at Benedict Cumberbatch. He's a weird alien looking dude, but girls are creaming themselves over him.

Look at this evolutionarily. Being attractive shows you have healthy genes without major physical defects, yeah.
But what else has made humanity grow? Musicians are attractive because it takes a lot of brain power to put it together and physical dexterity to actually do it on beat.
Power and money is attractive because it means he can provide and give a safe place to raise a child.
Friendliness is attractive because it shows he has good interpersonal skills and can function successfully in society.

Our genes want all of these things in our babies and to ensure our own survival! It's much much more than a pretty face.

>>16452204
idk that advice sounds pretty transparently meaningless to me, I me shouldn't everybody know that already? Yeah, be yourself, don't be fake it won't work out in the end. It's not be yourself and you'll automatically get pussy, it's be yourself and if they don't like 'yourself' then they just don't and maybe you need to better yourself i.e. work out more
I mean there's such thing as self-improvement while staying genuine...like if you didn't win the genetic lottery you just have to accept that and work with what you can.
>>16452208
Is this directed more at females? My fiance said he was really surprised when we started dating. Actually his whole family was. They said I was really sweet for someone so pretty. So idk how to answer that, don't go for people with terrible personalities? like of course that's a turn-off. I think a lot of really hot chicks act a certain way because people let them, not that it's an excuse just sayin.

>>16452227
No. He's not an asshole. Other people would deem him one by the way he dresses and carries himself, but he's actually a fantastic person. I think he just makes a lot of people feel insecure so they pass judgment on him.

>>16452249

>work out more

so look better, cause personality means fuck all

yeah, that's what I thought. after all, I didnt get much attention when I wasn't in great shape. sure can't be a coincidence that i'm more interesting now!

>>16452253
Your personality seems pretty shit though. I mean look how much of a passive aggressive bitch you are. Also you dont decide if you're interesting or not.

On the whole "nice guy" conversation:

I'm judging all of you retards who think that you're actually going to talk someone with predetermined conclusions into agreeing with you. Seriously, you're like the C-students of life. You got just far enough to be able to make cogent arguments but lack the wisdom to use them sensibly. You do nothing but clutter up this thread. Learn how to pick your battles you fucking knuckle-dragging mongoloids.

>>16452239
LOL when did I say he did any of these things? See what I mean about 'nice guys'? Making a bunch of assumptions, basically being a dick to a total stranger.
>>16452238
He's the kind of guy that doesn't just open the door for me when we go out, but opens the fucking front door of our home and helps me take my shoes off inside. Nice guys will just bitch about how gentlemen don't exist anymore because females did this and that blah blah blah. But he's not just nice in that way, he's just very thoughtful and it shows in a million different ways. Which in turn makes me want to be an even better person for him, do things for him, etc. Like it's this magical fruitful thing that goes both ways. Yet by the way we look a lot of people would assume bitch and douchebag

>>16452259

passive aggressive? gee, girls only find me interesting now cause I hit the gym a lot. yet before, I wasnt interesting at all.

tell me how I am supposed to take people seriously when they talk about personality/humor/whatever, when I get better treatment just for being more fit.

IT DOESNT MATTER. AT ALL.

what does matter? aesthetics. looking good. which is why it annoys me when people give the "be yourself" bullshit speech, cause it's so cliche and empty that it's a joke.

be yourself? yeah, be attractive. that's all it takes.

>>16452243
>>16452249
>>16452259
>>16452263

So basically, I should treat women like shit, beat them regularly, neglect them and treat them like objects, and frequently insult them because who gives two shits about personality. Do you want a guy like that?
>Oh but he looks nice and has a big dick, who cares if he treats me like shit!
You're not fucking helping anyone. Get the fuck off this board and never come back. I could fucking find better advice from /s4s/ than you shitheads.

>>16452264
>LOL
This isn't fucking Twitter.

>>16452253
well, you haven't said...are you ugly? Really short? Like yeah you can't survive on just personality alone unless you're looking for a partner with the same traits. Personality means a lot to me, looks go out the window if I can't stand to be with a dude. I might get drunk and hit him up to fuck once in a while when I'm despr8 but as soon as a good looking guy with a better personality comes around I wife him and delete the other guy's number.

>>16452273

>good looking guy with a better personality

see?

personality on its own isnt worth shit.

guess i'll keep training at the gym since that is the best way to increase my odds of success. at least you are honest, other people say shit like "oh he isnt attractive BUT HIS PERSONALITY/CHARM/______ MAKES UP FOR IT!"

such nonsense.

>>16452284
So basically what you're saying is if you didn't look good, you would have literally no value. Have fun getting old.

Enough you motherfuckers. Take this to >>>/trash/. Can't we have one fucking nice board on this goddamn site? 179 replies and a solid 10% are this tired, useless argument. Stop fucking replying to him. You're virtually no better.

>>16452295
This guy gets it.

I don't know if people are newfags or what, but this guy picks arguments most threads. Can we please learn to recognise and ignore him?

>>16452290

no

im saying value with regard to DATING is all about looks.

no girl is going to date an ugly guy who is smart or charming. real life isnt a disney movie. see, personality might be good but if you dont have looks, who fucking cares right?

but it's ok, we're all shallow, myself included.

>>16452267
You're not interesting, just physically attractive. That is getting your foot in the door since a stranger won't know what your personality is like yet, and a relationship can't really get off the ground between strangers who don't know each other without some element of mutual physical attraction. If you already know each other then it's a different story. Is it really that fucking hard for you to understand? Do you go chat up landwhales and 70 year olds because they might have a great personality? Then why the fuck would you expect women to?

How do I become less clingy?
I'm extremely clingy, though I try to suppress it as much as possible, and act it out as little as possible. I get jealous easily too.

>>16452303
No, there's two guys, and I'm one of them. Usually I ask simple, friendly questions, but today things took a turn for the worse. I've only recently started visiting /adv/.

>>16452268
I'm the first person you quoted, but I'm the one saying that looks isn't the end all and that personality does make a huge difference.

Being with an abusive asshole is not conducive to a safe and healthy family. Some girls might be into that misguidedly by interpreting it as having aggression to protect from threats. But other girls are going to see that it isn't safe.

Why are you so deadset on believing that the world is out to get you? Can't you hear someone say that looks aren't everything and actually consider that people think that way?

>>16452305
Yeah, no one is going to date anyone they're not attracted to, why would they? Why would anyone want to have sex with someone who wouldn't be able to get them wet/hard?
That said, being attractive is just the minimum requirement. You need to be an interesting person for people to want to keep talking to you.

>>16452315
Well people need to learn to recognise and ignore both of you. You're doing nothing but derailing this thread. If you want to discuss/argue this more in depth, make your own thread. Please stop.

>>16452318

right, which is why I find it annoying when people say looks dont matter. it's like a job interview. looks are what get you the interview. how do you get a job (or gf) without the interview?

personality is just the icing on the cake. noone prioritizes personality first, ever.

>>16452316
>>16452321
Sorry for losing my temper. I just found myself getting frustrated. But guess personality isn't worth shit these days. I'm not ugly either, I'm about a 7/10, but if you only care about looks then get a body pillow or something. Sure looks are part of a relationship, but they're not all of it. If they were all of it, then what would be the point?

>>16452329

life is rough when you are average, or dont have above average looks.

having to "settle" is probably the most depressing thing ever. knowing that you cant be with an attractive girl, and that the best you can get is what other people would call "ugly".

not him btw, but it sucks having flaws. not being tall, not having a chiseled jaw, or being poor.

>>16452329
You're a fucking retard, son. Just because looks matter doesn't mean personality doesn't. It matters more than looks. Looks may get you the interview but your personality will get you fired in a heartbeat. You seem to have a terrible personality, and in that case it actually matters even more because it's a deal breaker.

Is there any way to increase the number of people you want to date?
Like everyone says, dating is a numbers game, but I'm so rarely attracted to anyone. Developed a crush on a guy in February, asked him out in June, got rejected, didn't develop another crush until mid-October, thought about it for 5 seconds and realized he wasn't into me at all, moved on.
It's not that I think I'm too good for anyone else or that I think "ugh 2/10 pointy elbows" or anything, most guys just don't even register as potential mates, even ones I consider physically attractive.
I'm so jealous of these people who find multiple people attractive at once and can easily move on from on to the next.

>>16452338
>even ones I consider physically attractive.
Ah, the "even" in that phrase is the giveaway.

You're spending too much time getting a read on guys outside of dates. You're trying to suss out "potential mates" outside of dates, despite dating being the exact process by which you're supposed to be doing that. You're sabotaging yourself.

The moment you find someone physically attractive, make a move. Find out during the date whether you can see yourself with them. Don't try to make that determination in entirely the wrong context.

>>16452337
>I have a terrible personality
No, I'm just pissed and incredibly frustrated, a feeling I didn't expect to have when I came into this thread.

>>16451999
Bump. Seeing her tomorrow. We had one talk about it and she wants to try the distance. I'm having second thoughts due to the year factor. I love her, it's the best, most mature relationship I've ever had but a year away is fucking awful.

>>16452336
>>16452337
>>16452344
Stop. Take it to /trash/

Women: how do you personally spend your days outside of responsibilities like work and school? In other words, what's your "life" (as in "get a life")?

>>16452371
Chores and household shit, baking, reading, hanging out with friends or my boyfriend, playing vidya, watching Youtube etc. I also volunteer once a week

Is this a poorly disguised "why do women have no hobbies" question?

>>16452378
No, just curiosity. A lot of the things I personally enjoy doing seem to involve a notable male bias, so I was wondering where the chicks were at.

Most of the things you mentioned happen (or can happen) at home. Maybe the answer is "they're at home." Kinda sucks. It's hard to meet you at home unless I get into burglary or Mormonism.

>>16452371
Usually chores, grocery shopping, shopping in general. I'm fairly introverted. Two close friends and a boyfriend. I see my close friends every month or two. My boyfriend and I spend weekends together because our weekdays are usually packed.

When I want to just stay inside, I switch between doing chores, browsing /adv/, watching let's players, etc. I spend a few hours every weekend on personal maintenance. Taking care of my skin and hair, practicing make up and hairstyles. Work out at the gym in my apartment complex.

I also dedicate some time to family, go visit my mom and grandparents fairly often. Hang out with sister. My brother is incarcerated, so I write to him or send him books. Occasionally visit when I have the time to drive to his prison.

>>16452371
I browse 4chan. I don't really have hobbies anymore.
I clean and organize my apartment, I go out for lunch with a friend, I fantasize about getting a date, I nap, I cuddle with my cats, I have breakfast with my dad, I have tea with my mom, I have a drink with my brother.

I used to have more hobbies. I'd go for walks at parks, I sewed dresses, I played piano, I watched anime, I played video games, I read articles, I read books, I drew, I acted, I did things.
Those are probably more of the things people mean when they say "get a life"

>>16452371
Errands - shopping & cleaning
Hobbies - sketching & fencing
Friends - hanging out
Boyfriend
You know, general stuff.

>>16452393
>>16452405
>>16452406
Sounds like I should start sketching and/or exercising in the park.

Just in case that doesn't work out, would you be more willing to date a handsome burglar or a handsome Mormon missionary (other positions are available upon request)?

Girls, what's the longest you'd stay out of touch with a guy you're dating/boyfriend before you try and contact him/wonder what's up?

>>16452415
My boyfriend and I text each other every day, so if he disappeared for a few hours and I knew he didn't have work or he didn't give me a reason he'd be away, I'd probably send off another text

>>16452371
I play boardgames. I watch movies. I cook. I bake. I hang out with friends. I read up on things that interest me. I take a lot of walks and listen to podcasts.
I also spend an embarrassing amount of time watching youtube reviewer type videos.

Alright here's one for both genders. How did you meet your significant other?

>>16452425
Mutual friends played matchmaker.

>>16452425
School/work, depending on how you look at it

We worked in different departments in a store for a year but never spoke to each other. We ended up sitting next to each other in class in our first week by coincidence, started chatting and became friends. A few years later, he asked me out and we started dating

>>16452415
Probably half day. I would get worry if there was no word for a whole day.

>>16452425
Fencing club

>>16452411
Hm, how about a missionary whose heart isn't really into it? Who'd drop it once we got to know each other?

Honestly, I've been kind of thinking about the drop in religion. That used to be The Thing. Everyone went to church every Sunday, it was the easiest place to meet random people.
But now there's not really a "all ages all walks of life" social gathering that the whole town does. For one, "towns" are often closer to cities, there's too many people.

What if we had everything of church without the religion? Different people doing "sermons" about philosophy or random bullshit like TED talks. Musicians. Reading poetry or prose. Serving coffee and cookies afterwards. Making events. Having opportunities for charity work.

I'd go.

>>16452425
4chan

>>16452432
Well they kind of already have those with various groups, clubs, social gatherings, etc. But not on that large a scale though, so I like the idea.

>>16452432
Sounds like someone has a budding corruption fetish in their subconscious. Kinda hot.

>>16452425
We happened to sit next to each other in class. She couldn't read something the teacher wrote down, and we started joking about what that scribble could mean. It devolved into joking about each other, and that devolved into talking shit about each other all day long. Took her out two days after, and we've been bringing the bants ever since

>>16452440
Yeah, I'd want it to be a more general thing. There are lectures etc out there but you seek it out based on the topic. I'd want to go in to hear about something I might not otherwise be interested in.

>>16452441
Hell yes I do. One of my favorite fantasies as a teenager was to slowly seduce an older man (usually a teacher). He'd struggle with the morality of it and I would make him succumb.

>>16452416
>>16452431
Suppose they weren't your boyfriend yet, and you're just dating each other. How much time would you give it if he doesn't initiate himself?

>>16452452
Depends on what sort of relationship we had. Before my boyfriend and I were dating, we could go 1-2 days without texting, so maybe once it hit three-ish days? We did initiate pretty equally

>>16452448
Oh baby

brb, flying to Utah ;)

>>16452452
I'd say 4-7 days

I like this girl, but everytime I try and do something with her, she's either busy or tired, also keeps texts rather short. Yet, when I'm at work with her, we'll talk almost every chance we get and get lunch together. So ladies, what am I too make of this situation? Contine to try and hangout with her or move on?

>>16452371
Like most people here on 4chan I spend a lot of my time on the computer. But since I don't play video games anymore (shitty dorm wifi) I just kinda browse the web. Inb4 Reddit, Tumblr, Twitter, never used any of those never will. I like other mindless things though, like playing Neopets and online shopping (not buying anything just compiling massive wishlists, partially because I am interested in designing clothes). I also watch a little Korean drama and anime still (MUCH less than I used to, like one ep every other day at the most), and I listen to a lot of music. But mainly I dance. I love putting on EDM and dancing, stretching, practicing bellydancing, pole dancing, club style and other erotic/sensual forms of dance. I also really like practicing my flexibility. I do a little yoga, but mostly incorporate it with dance. I could never get into running/jogging, this is the one form of fitness that works all my muscles and is actually a lot of fun. It has cured my depression and anxiety, and improved my body by 200%.
Basically it is a fantastic hobby that has replaced my previous obsession with video games, which I can never see myself going back to. Because I have an addictive personality, it is much better for me to stretch obsessively than mindlessly and obsessively kill e-monsters and garner e-money. I don't have a job right now, I am a full-time student, and school takes up most of my life. I am a senior so I study a lot more. I am an English major so I read a lot too. On the weekends me and my fiance watch movies, go out to eat, just sit and talk to each other a lot, talk while doing our own thing (he watches the RT news) and also sex. I also like to cut and file his nails, and give him massages. He really enjoys that of course. On rare occasions we go out dancing at clubs (I say rare because I'm 7 months preg and it's hard to find classy, non-smoking places where people actually dance). That's it. May not sound like much, but I'm never bored.

>>16452802
Maybe try scheduling a time with her for when she's not busy or tired?

But what it comes down to is this: even if she does like you, this is how she's acting. Are you alright with someone who has limited free time, limited energy, and flakes out on you a lot?

>>16452452
2 days maximum...the guy I'm engaged to now and my previous boyfriend, we'd both text each other daily as soon as we started talking. I don't date people casually, there's always a really strong attraction that just grows and grows...then plateaus....sorry it rhymed

>>16452817
Well, she's an intern, along with taking 4 classes. Should that make a difference In answerng this question?

>>16452802
Maybe she's really interested in you...as a friend? Or your her best option for sociability at work but once she gets home you're no longer a priority? Sorry that sounds really negative but as a girl if I were close buds with a guy from work I'd make sure he understood we were just friends by being curt outside of work. I mean if I thought he were interested in me romantically I probably wouldn't give him my number at all. Actually maybe I would. Because if he asked and I was like "sure but just as friends right?" some guys would be like fuck u stuck up bitch u think i wanted u anyways lol die I mean I'm exaggerating but you get the point right

>>16452834
No. Because it doesn't matter if she has a legit reason for not having time for you. The fact of the matter is that she doesn't have time for you! Are you okay with that? I'm not saying you must be not okay with it. I'm saying you have to ask yourself if you want to pursue someone who doesn't have much time for you.

>>16452802
You accept that she is a busy person, decide whether or not you can deal with that, and act accordingly

>>16451098
Umm. I feel like you should really give up on her. I think she has grown distant, even if you still feel close to her.

alright /adv/, i need advice from uncut guys
i have a new bf, sex is great, we did it only 2 times now and he seems to like everything i do.

but my last 2 bfs were cut and the first really really got me into oral. now my new bf is uncut, has a lot of foreskin and is leaking precum like crazy. i really want to blow him but when i give him a handjob and pull his foreskin back, he kind of moves away a bit, probably either because his head is very sensitive or because he has a slight phimosis (couldn't take a good look at it yet).

With the cut bfs I had I felt like I could do pretty much whatever as long as I used a lot of spit. How do you uncut guys prefer your BJs?

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Simple question. Which do?

>gfs birthday is today
>she's working 7am-6pm shift (cafe, not the busy kind)
>We haven't seen/spoken for 4 days, me being busy

Either
>Visit her during work to greet happy birthday quickly in-front of co-workers, meet up afterwards
or
>Acting like as if I forgot til last minute, show up after work to pick her up.


Both involve flowers + gift in hand when I show up after work.

>>16452927
sorry grill here not guy
I am dating an uncut guy, his head is fully exposed when he's erect. He seems to just like ramming it down my throat, does not care much at all for all the tongue swirling or sucking on the head/upper shaft like my cut exes liked. I suppose it's because he's more sensitive and he doesn't want to cum too quickly. So just let him face fuck you???

>>16452956
I like first one better, but maybe do a combo of the two...pick her up right around closing time so she gets to show off in front of her friends/coworkers but can also leave with you afterwards

When does it become appropriate to ask someone why they're being distant or unresponsive, or doesn't bother initiating contact themselves for a long period of time?

It seems so easy to be labeled as needy by asking this kind of thing.

>>16452990
It's less about the timing and more about the approach, anytime is fine to ask "You been alright? You seem a bit distant lately" etc.

Avoid saying things like "I've been feeling XYZ" right off the bat, it's needy when you make it about you.

I have had a roomie/fwb thing going with a male friend for a couple months now. Lately he's less into the sex and just makes me suck his cock most of the time, and the only explanation he gives is he enjoys it better. What should I be doing to change his mind on it?

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Guys and Girls

I recently posted in a previous thread that i was going on a date with a deaf girl and i received a lot of good advice.

Well i went out with her yesterday and the date went awesome. We talked about going out on another next week and im pretty sure she is into me.

Now i come back for more advice

What are some good date ideas to take a deaf girl on?

I usually take a girl to the drive-in on the second or third date but that idea is void because of the whole deaf thing.

please help me /adv/ you are my only hope

>>16453017
Find out if your area runs captioned movies if that's your thing.

Do you know ASL or do you just write everything?

>>16453035

She can read lips and we were texting each other. Lots of eye contact and hand motions.I thought it would be awkward but it wasn't at all and honestly went surprisingly well

>>16452990
It's all about how much someone cares about you. How much you're their priority, how often they think of you. Simply put, if you're important to them they will want to hear from you. This is especially true when you're talking about romantic relationships. No matter how busy I am I always find time for my parents and the man I love. I pursued a guy for a long time, but I came to realize that he was inconsistent with his responses because he always had options. You don't want someone who will treat you like an option. Likewise I became a little distant at times with my now-ex. Looking back, I realize this is because I was not truly happy in our relationship. Friendships are a little different with the changes in communication/technology and the plethora of distractions that are readily available. Some friendships you actually have to work at to maintain but they are often worth it. Relationships are not the same.
I am a girl and literally every time I've been asked something like "you alright", "haven't heard from you in a while", etc. it was from a guy that had a one-sided crush on me.
Mostly happens with guys I'd friendzoned, that had agreed to remain friends, but still obviously had feelings for me. Therefore it felt needy and disgusted me. Sorry just being honest.

>>16453016
Nothing, he's using you. I mean you're both using each other for pleasure but he's being selfish about it. Don't let him do that, point blank. Find someone who's actually attracted to you, or at least a better hookup partner if that's what you're into.

I really don't get hookups though, they feel so empty to me. Like if you just need sex why not masturbate/get a vibrator? If you want intimacy with a human why not pursue a relationship?

>>16453061
A new person is not totally out of the question but would involve me leaving the guy who's been pretty good with me besides the recent issue. He's letting me live with him rent free and was (until now) giving me what I wanted in a relationship. I'm not after romance but besides the sex I need the physical intimacy and bedtime cuddling and the rest.
>Find someone who's actually attracted to you
The attraction's there for both of us, I'm totally certain. He's never made me think he wasn't into me physically, it's just the fact that he doesn't want sex as much as he did before.

>>16453132

>fwb

>intimacy

pick one

you are a fuck toy, that is the whole idea. if you want intimacy, get a boyfriend.

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Ladies. I'm a guy in a relationship and I need some sex advice.

girls like feeling really wanted and to have good sex you gotta really be all over them and shit, i know that, but my gf is really difficult to make cum.
This is a problem because if I were to make her cum, it takes just constant fingering for like EVER, I have to focus to get it done and when I do, I lose my erection and I find it hard to keep up that level of passionate intensity when i'm just fingering her into oblivion until she finally cums.
How should I handle this situation? I don't mind putting in the time necessary to make her cum, but sometimes she just stops me and says "i just want your dick inside me" etc.
sort of implying that it's taking too long.

help/advice

I've been with girls that are super easy to make cum and my current gf is a toughie

>>16452425
>where did you meet?

Online dating. Clicked so well we agreed to a second before the first even ended, were officially a couple by the end of the 3rd, and took a thousand mile trip together by the 5th.


>>16453016
>fwb only want's me to blow him, how do I change that?

You can't really. He's a friend with benefits, not your boyfriend. The implicit deal is supposed to be you both do what you do and anything else you want, you can ask, but cannot have any expectation of getting and If you really want it, get it from someone else. There is no real attachment or obligation in a FWB.

>>16453017
>dating deaf girl. Where do i take her?

Congrats on having such a good first.

Art gallery
botanical garden/arboretum
aquarium/Zoo
amusement park
beer garden
dancing
bowling
Dave and busters
Mall

Tons of things to do.

>>16453305
Talk to her about this the next time you're cooling off after sex. Ask her if she's satisfied with your sex life during those times where you can't get her off. There's no guarantee that she'll tell you the truth but it's better you find out sooner than later if she's still got walls up.

>>16452452
I would give him more time. We aren't a commitment so I don't expect him to response right away.
1 day of no contact would cause me to lose some interest and become a little upset.
2.5 days of no contact I would get worried.

If you think he isn't contacting you enough then just cut him off. Annoyance or problems in a relationship that hasn't even started yet isn't worth it.

>>16453305
i take forever too and it's an ultimate turnoff if I feel him getting impatient. so either take the time and put your dick second or let her do it instead, ask her if she can show you or if you can aid her in any way. what works for me is to do it myself with him helping - him groping my tits, kissing me hard, having his dick in my mouth etc.
also, when I say "i just want your dick inside me" i mean it, no implications here. insecurity is a turnoff too, just as blaming everything on her just because your ex was different.