>>16449455

getting too comfortable.
I was with a dude who made a bunch of promises he didn't intend to keep. Worked 100% at the beginning and as time went on and he became more secure with the idea that we'd be together (forever? I guess? in his mind) he decided that those things weren't necessary any more. So when I would call him out on it, he'd make those promises again (communication, spending time together, work habits) and then keep them up for about 2 weeks and then stop doing them again.

don't say you're capable of something you're not. If your partner asks if you can do some thing (like keep in contact when doing xyz), you either say "yes, I can do that for you" and do it, or don't promise it at all. Don't say "yes I'll do that" and then make excuses why you don't do it consistently down the road

>>16449482
Ok, i can definitely see the problem here and will keep it in mind. Thanks anon!

>>16449455

- constant contact
- passive aggressiveness
- finding pics of random dudes she was talking to on snapchat

>>16449492
Could you pls elaborate on
>constant contact
?

Yeah, the last one is definitely a deal breaker...

>>16449482
Curious, were you working yourself throughout this?

>>16449455
MY last gf left me because we were both bored with each other, because we were together so long we kinda drifted.
I ended up spending more and more time away from her and spending all of that time with friends, and she cheated on me.

I don't know if that's the difference between men and women. I went to my friends and she went to someone else. It really sucked.

we both mistreated each other, but her cheating destroyed me.

Now i'm just rambling. My advice would be to know what you've got and don't take it for granted.

>>16449455
Having doubts about them, them being more distant and cold, becoming disrespectful, less and less contact.

>>16449522

Yes, just as much as my partner.

>>16449455

I suck at romance. I'm a great lover though so they think I love them. I haven't been satisfied by any single woman so I'm always the one to break it off.

im pretty sure im going to get dumped very soon. its the same situation as this guy >>16449573
without the cheating. its not really that im bored with my gf its just that i feel like my life will go like this if i stay
>get married
>have kids
>work 9-5
>come home tired as hell
theres also those divorce horror stories that scare the hell out of me. help /adv/

>>16449695

It only goes that way if you let it. So many guys get into the mindset that "welp im of an age, time to settle down immediately with this girl i've been with for a couple years, regardless of whether she's actually wife material, pop out kids and work until I die"

I know an older couple that are as loving and youthful as the day they met, even at the age of 60, with children. They go skydiving and visit foreign countries and all that romantic jazz. But its because they didn't allow themselves to be absorbed by the popular notion of how to raise a family.

men, you CAN be happy in a marriage, but you need to learn to evaluate your woman for who she is as a partner and an individual, and not just "she puts out pretty well and is fun to spend time with"

OP, I been in similar position as >>16449482
and i agree completely, in a relationship its acceptable to live with a guy when they have minor faults, but they promising to change can cause hurt when they never do change their ways.

Work can be a large factor too. I personally worked more than my previous two partners, and although i felt like it never bothered me that they were never as busy as i was, it still would affect me when the supposed routine of our relationship made it so we were always together. This isn't necessarily bad, but it was the type of contact which wasn't fun or loving or had any meaning. It was purely downtime and relaxation after busying ourselves throughout the week.

Last tip i could say would be to stick at your arguments, everyone argues at times, its not unusual. But do maintain a difference between the argument (i.e. not liking what/who they been doing stuff with) and the reasons why you love them. I've regretted breakups in the past due to arguments, and in hindsight you can realise that the arguments were all minor and that you had been waiting almost forever for a guy who gave you the emotions that you felt for them.

>>16449455
All relationships are different.
I had two long term ones that remotely mattered.

1. Too insecure and not direct. He never told me what he wanted and never punished me if I did something wrong. I basically walked all over him. He should have stood his grounds for some things.
Selfish reason of breakup: not attractive enough.

2. He would take everything personally and never tell me what was on his mind. One day, he would be fine and next angry, honestly, similar to a woman. I wish he communicated his feelings more even if they were mean or selfish.
Selfish breakup reason: No ambition or future plans

>>16449455
>What was the main reason that has led to your breakup/s?
With females?
When I realized that females were generally submissive, and males were expected to be generally dominant. (It took 2 flings and 1 relationship to figure this out).

I stopped playing their games and instead started dating guys from my gym. I am much happier now.

With males?
The only time a break up was in order was when one of my exes tried to fight me when drunk. He chipped my tooth and I broke his nose.

Otherwise my former relationships ended on good terms when we realized there were incongruencies between us that won't satisfy a LTR. No hard feelings, and no "main" reasons that stand out.