>fem, 19
So a little while ago I was with this group of friends, and there was this one guy I sort of fancied.
>a bit of a lumberjack but in a good way.
Well, a few months into knowing him, I see him with this girl from the group on his lap, and they're hugging.
I was all, "Oh, okay. He has a girlfriend. Well at least I know now. sweet!" and I get on with my life.
A few days in they're still like that. I sit next to them reading a book. (I got used to the rather innocent PDA.) the girl was sitting on his lap as usual so her back was facing me; her arms still around his neck.
We're all having a good time talking when I feel something warm on my hand. It's the guy's finger gently stroking my hand from under the table. I glance from my book up to him; he's looking at me with a rather coy expression. I was quickly filled with disgust.
>How can you have the audacity to flirt with me when your girlfriend is literally right on top of you?!
Instead of making a scene, however, I simply kept reading my book, calmly took hold of his finger, and bent it back as far as it'll go without breaking it. He quietly grunted and slunk his hand away. that got the message across for sure.
But here's the twist. the next day I was talking with some other friends from the group, who knew the guy much longer than did, when I mentioned those two as a couple. they clarified that they weren't actually dating and that they're just very touchy-feely sometimes.... Oh you've got to be kidding...
I feel like such an asshole.... but at the same time... Augh! I'm just so confused.
I need help processing this.
You acted properly in that situation, no need to feel yourself like an asshole. If the guy didn't expect this reaction from a decent girl, he's a proper autist. If he wants something from you, he should have been straightforward.
>>16329228
Never go near him, he's a fucking douche and he'll prolly be wid some1 else if u get together with him
he sounds like the asshole
he has a lumberjack look in this action he did to you tells me he has AIDS
He sounds like one of those fat hipster douchebags because of the whole
Lumberjack thing.
You're psycho
Even if he had a gf that was un called for
>>16329228
Whether or not they're an official couple, it is bad taste to flirt with one girl (you) while supposedly focusing his friendly attention on another (her). Probably more a matter of lack of couth than intentional nastiness, but a warning flag about his thinking.
>>16329228
The real question is...if you did want to date them, could you have gotten used to them being like that?
you didn't knew it was just a friend of his, so your reaction wasn't that bad
it's still kinda strange how touchy they are, probable not a good idea to date this guy
He sounds like a horny little boy who thinks he's hot shit. You did the correct thing. Break it next time.
>>16329919
>if a man is friendly with one woman he isn't allowed to friendly to any other
Stay basic, bitch.
>>16330128
Simply being friendly doesn't apply here, and that's not what anon meant by "friendly". You can act any way you want with a women but don't be surprised if acting like a player pushes them away.
You get what you give. Simple as that.
>>16330855
>You get what you give.
last i checked he didn't try and break OPs finger
>>16330859
Yeah, and she didn't either. Man the fuck up, son, you don't fuck with people unless you're prepared to deal with the consequences - that's something we used to understand.
>>16329228
You both are retarded. Please don't fuck so you make retarded children and we have to deal with more retards such as yourselves.
>>16329228
Im so happy your not another 19yo slut that would have just jumped on chads dick knowing he had a gf. You woukd pat yourself on the back anon well done you actualy bring hope to the female gender
>>16331021
haha wow you are mentally unstable af
>>16329228
>>How can you have the audacity to flirt with me when your girlfriend is literally right on top of you?!
How did you know they were a couple?
As it turns out:
>they clarified that they weren't actually dating
You didn't.
>>How can you have the audacity to flirt with me when your girlfriend is literally right on top of you?!
How did you know that they weren't an open couple and thus collectively okay with his pda?
You didn't.
>I need help processing this
There's nothing to process. You let assumptions with no confirmation guide your actions. You are not only an asshole, you're an idiot as well.
To add to your already baffling idiocy:
>person touches you
>you don't appreciate the gesture
>what do?
>counteract unsolicited physical contact with physical assault, that's what.
You're nineteen and you act worse than my six year old cousin. You should've taken his hand off of yours and let it be, but instead you decided to go all Daredevil on the guy's finger because of "muh righteousness" without any proof to confirm your suspicions.
an hero livestream
>>16329228
Processing what? That you're going to be the side-piece of the side-piece?
He is obviously sleeping with this girl, and also wants to add your notch. Any other girls in this group?
That was a real dirt-bag move on his end.
>>16331028
Pat herself on the back for what?
>assuming they were dating
>assuming that if they were dating they weren't cool with it
>counteracting unwanted touch with assault
Let's pretend they were an exclusive couple and she was interested:
Who cares if she did have an interest in him? Dating someone doesn't mean you own them. There's no such thing as "she stole him from me" because the gf didn't purchase him. He made a gesture and she accepted, that's what people do. The gf needs to check her sources before investing, then.
OP needs to mature, that's what she needs to do.
First off, don't jump to hurting a guy because you disagree with his morals. If you're genuinely uncomfortable with the physical contact then pull away. Go on the offensive only if he doesn't let up when you withdraw. Violence is not appropriate for a difference of opinion.
It doesn't matter what they are or aren't. A grown-ass man doesn't start stroking the hand of some random friend while another girl is on his lap. Dude's got about as much class as the dump I took this morning.
>>16329228
So a guy touched your finger and you physically assaulted him by bending his back in a way that could have easily broken it, all because you were upset about his moral choices?
Are you insane OP? What if the genders were reversed you were a guy and a girl sitting on her boyfriend's lap touched your hand, and you bent back her finger? You'd be in jail right now
Such privilege that you can physically assault people and then "feel bad" in the comfort of your own home outside of prison.
>>16331213
>don't jump to hurting a guy because you disagree with his morals.
>Dude's got about as much class as the dump I took this morning.
So instead, we insult them because we disagree with their morals. Very mature, anon.
>>16331227
You're a freak.
I would totally bend her finger even in that case.
>>16331232
Thank you. I credit being raised by good parents.
>>16331247
Yeah then if you hurt her or it snapped she'd say "wtf are you doing" then her not-boyfriend would beat your ass and you'd be arrested for assault,
You think it's okay to just bend peoples fingers back? Do you have any idea how easy it is to break a finger?
>>16331227
>discussing female privilege vs male disadvantage
Said privilege and disadvantage exists only because of sexist societal pressures and the morons that give into said pressures.
In either case (male attacking female or female attacking male) the victim is at fault for not alerting the proper authority, regardless of gender. Then again, in this specific case -- the victim became one because of the repercussions of initiating physical contact without receiving permission to do so beforehand, so their leverage is moot?
>>16331251
Kek, "raised by good parents" said the 4chan user. Kekekek
>>16331258
It doesn't matter why things are the way they are, all that matters is that the current system privileges females.
Touching someone's hand out of nowhere is socially unacceptable, but physically assaulting someone for doing so is even less acceptable, but only if the person doing the assaulting is a male
Do you legitimately think the reaction even within this thread would be the same if the genders were reversed? No, you'd be calling OP a fucking faggot for bending back some girl's finger when she touched him, but it's not even mentioned here since the OP is claiming to be a girl and girls perpetrating assault against guys, no matter how minor the cause, is socially acceptable because of female privilege.
>>16329248
This, tbh.
>>16331261
it takes all kinds
>>16331264
>doesn't matter why it's the way it is
It does, actually, that way we can take steps toward resolving this unwanted consequence.
>physical assault is worse than unsolicited physical contact-- only if you're a male.
I take it you're one of those feminazis on Tumblr?
>Because OP is a woman she isn't being called a fag, you would so call her a fag is OP was a man!
Actually, I've written a reply telling her what a moron she was for this assault, and I wasn't the only one, so you've clearly been disproved.
If I were a man and were attacked by a woman, I don't give a damn who makes fun of me for whatever sexist reason, damn straight her ass is getting jailed.
Just because the majority bend over to female privilege/male disadvantage doesn't mean that the minorities who don't comply with said pressures aren't to be accounted for.
Also, gender doesn't equate to sex. Just because the genitals change doesn't mean the genders do, and vice versa.
>>16331270
>backing up the idea that the person guilty of physical assault shouldn't feel like shit.
Everything considered I wouldnt fault you. Hell odds are they're fucking if shes sitting on his lap like that. Unless he's an idiot, he should realize what his body language says.
Everyones freaking out about assault and crap, but you said that you just twisted his finger back. Fucking christ pinching someone on the neck or twisting their finger when they're being a twat isnt assault people.
>>16331303
Feminazi on tumblr are you fucking retarded? Yes, feminazis always talk about female privilege.
>>16331347
all of this.
>>16331347
In this case, the man is guilty of assault himself because he did not receive permission before touching OP.
But OP didn't even care about the fact that he touched her without asking, she was pissed that he touched her when he, according to her assumptions, was dating someone.
But if he hadn't touched her but flirted with her in another way, say by passing a note with a winking emote on it, or what have you and she bent his finger back-- it doesn't matter whether or not anyone considers him a twat for flirting when he is an assumed relationship that is assumed to be exclusive-- even bending back a finger or pinching one on the neck is an assault. The psycho could've broken the man's finger or ruptured an artery just because she felt she was carrying out social justice.
>>16329228
fem, 19. What do you think about guys 6-7 years older in college who tries to chat up a girl?
>>16331394
They always defend female privilege. When a woman was jailed for raping, on more than one occasion, an eight year old boy, one feminist defended the woman claiming it was an honest mistake... just because she was a woman.
Meanwhile, they go around claiming "stare rape" at any person they think is a man just because he is a man.
>You noted muh sexism, anon. You is a returd.
You claim that if OP were a man Op would've received hate-- yet you were disproven because the evidence shows that OP received hate even though she is a female... and I'm the retard because?
>>16331417
1) What was the girl doing prior to the men attempting to initiate a conversation?
2) What topics did the men use as a means to initiate a conversation?
>>16331432
Waiting for class on her own. Im more interested in the general view of the age thing. Guys seem not to care about talking to older guys and even sometimes will be immediately friendly, but with girls it seems like they are more worried about it. Do they find an older guy unattractive or nasty for talking to them or other girls around them? I had someone say that girls don't really care about age, but she was kind of a free spirit type herself so Im not sure. It worries me how I come off and what people think. I don't want to do something that breaks social rules.
>>16331449
>cares about societal norms regarding age gaps
If you're that much of a conservative you may as well conserve yourself in a closet.
I myself I dating someone eight and a half years older than me. We aren't having sex, not that it's anyone's goddamned business as I am of age anyways ,but when people find out I'm dating someone and my partner's age they flip the fuck out-- they assume we're fucking each other and that because we're fucking each other that I have daddy issues or some mental disorder.
While I do have a mood disorder and my father wasn't involved in my life, that has nothing to do with my relationship. I can't help it that I prefer men that are mature with stability in their lives as opposed to some clueless teens.
>Then again, if my partner had been my age (or younger) yet very mature and well-established in life, would I still be with him? Yes.
(Although, as a matter of my own personal taste, I just like guys/girls that seem to be older with more experience (Marvel and DC's most well-known heroes, as an example.) I can't help it, muh kinks, you know?)
>Just know that there is still great controversy surrounding a big age gap between couples and that most likely, you'll receive discouragement if you show interest. But at least this anon supports it, love is love.
>>16331207
>assuming its cool for girls to slut around with a guy knowing he is in a relationship
>finding nothing wrong with above
Your a fucking moron morals are real and if you had any you most likley would not be a neet neckbeard living with your mother and grandmother.
Grow up fgt
>>16331507
>8.5 years older
>dating someone my parents age
>assuming kids at 8.5 yrs old
Are you autistic ?
>>16331207
I don't think you understand the legal doctrine of assault.
>>16329228
>But here's the twist. the next day I was talking with some other friends from the group, who knew the guy much longer than did, when I mentioned those two as a couple. they clarified that they weren't actually dating and that they're just very touchy-feely sometimes.... Oh you've got to be kidding...
If you want to date him and you're fine with him being touchy feely, that's all you need. If you're not fine, ask him not to do it if you're dating or dont date him.
Some people LIKE being touchy feely with friends of the opposite sex. It doesnt make them bad people. It makes them DIFFERENT.
>>16330128
>>if a man is friendly with one woman he isn't allowed to friendly to any other
>Stay basic, bitch.
Ding. Winner.
>>16331515
She didnt know. He actually wasnt in a relationship. You're illogical, faggot.
>>16331507
>love is love.
And sex is sex. Why can't I as a guy wanna fuck some hot cougar and have it be okay and not some girl wanna fuck an older guy just for NSA fun and have it be okay?
Because people view women as helpless and as non-agents, which are either victims of manipulation or abuse or non-responsible for their sexuality.
People need to get the fuck over it.
>>16331515
Of course morals are real, everyone has standards. But morality is a subjective concept and thus a matter of opinion.
You're commiting the personal incredulity logical fallacy; just because you disagree with my views doesn't mean your views are correct either. Especially considering that the topic of discussion concerns opinions.
But I find it hard to say "congrats OP, you're not a slut" because she hurt the guy over a suspicion she didn't bother to prove or disprove.
>>16331519
Quote me where I said I was dating someone my parent's age.
>>16331546
While I can't contest your claims as to why people look down on women having sex with older men, I completely agree with:
>why is younger guy bones older chick okay but not older guy bones younger chick? Bless you, anon.
>>16331407
>In this case, the man is guilty of assault himself because he did not receive permission before touching OP.
Touching someones hand isnt assault either you ding dong. I swear to god.
>The psycho could've broken the man's finger or ruptured an artery just because she felt she was carrying out social justice.
Are you people made out of glass?
>>16331585
Alright, if you're so confident in your claims, why don't you cite your sources? If you can prove that no one here was guilty of assault or any other crime, I'll rest my case.
>>16331585
There was a lack of consent. Yes, it was assaut. Yes, it is moronic. However, lets assume she didnt know him at all, and thought he was disgusting and creepy, and THEN he touched her hand like that. That'd be assault and I think you would agree with it then.
>>16331599
>That'd be assault and I think you would agree with it then.
No. He'd be a creep, but still not assault. Do you guys walk around in plastic bubbles or something? Twisting a finger is nothing, boys do worse at recess.
>>16331595
If you really think touching a womans hand or twisting a guys finger wouldn't be thrown out of court, you're more out of touch than I though.
>>16329228
'touchy feely'. yeah. they're fucking in every way imaginable, op.
>>16329228
Just confront him about it, explain you thought the girl was his gf, that will at least clear up the misunderstanding.
>>16329228
Be a man about it, op. Apologize to him for being butthurt and physically hurting him because you were mad at him for believing he was flirting with you behind his girlfriends back. There's no excuse for being physically violent to someone because you don't like their lifestyle.
Do you go lynch gays?
Not only that, but you did it because you believed something with no evidence, and found out later you were wrong. This should tell you how bad your value systems are, when you will hurt someone out of belief that they're doing something that you think they shouldn't be doing, rather than knowing they're doing something you think they shouldn't be doing.
Apologize and be direct about what you did that was wrong, and why you did it, which was also wrong. Take responsibility for doing the wrong thing, whether or not that girl was his girlfriend.
You'll grow much more mature out of this than your peers if you don't pussy out.
Don't always trust 3rd party, they're his friends, so they probably want to do what's in their friend's best interest: possibly getting him a side-girl.
I seriously doubt that the guy just has a "physically affectionate buddy", it's very unlikely.
And if she was just a friend of his and he fancied you innocently, you'd think that he'd ask his friend to tone it down a bit in front of his crush, right? Well, he didn't because he's just not that into you, not relationship wise at least. Sounds like a real sleazeball.
>>16331673
All of these are assumptions. All of them could be true but there really isn't much evidence for any of it. The only real course of action is to just talk to the girl about it. I've seen people very physically affectionate with others without any romantic involvement, so who knows.
>>16331607
According to the legal definition of physical assault, yeah, OP committed it.
>calmly took hold of his finger, and bent it back as far as it'll go without breaking it.
Oh, yeah, OP and her civility...
I retract my accusations of the man in question, (I'll give you that much.) unsolicited contact is what he committed, which I don't believe is a crime unless the contractor is asked to stop but persists.
>boys do worse at recess.
I once ended up with a ligament-tendon problem in my jaw after a boy pushed me during recess, but because we were just kids at the time my mother was inclined by the school not to press charges and I was told I would get over it and to grow up about it.
To this day I suffer from the consequences of that event (my jaw locks occasionally and it's relatively painful to snap it back into place.)
tl;dr
Implication of anon's greentext: If the greater of two injuries can go unpunished why should the lesser be subject to persecution? I don't know, you tell me.
>If you really think touching a womans hand or twisting a guys finger wouldn't be thrown out of court, you're more out of touch than I though.
Quote where I said either OP or the man in question should be held accountable at trial in a court of law?
>>16331709
Anon, let's pretend you're the lumberjack guy -- some ho you were flirting with just tried to break your finger because she:
>assumed you were taken
>assumed your gf didn't want you to flirt
>didn't even try to make sure her assumptions were correct
Would you tap that brand of crazy? Imagine if you were bangin' her on a regular and then one day she thinks you cheated... OP and her assuming ass would ram a log up your lumberjack pooper on the spot...
>>16331709
I wouldn't really think that much of it personally once I heard the reason. Although I'm fairly open-minded about people.
youre a loser op. you could be getting ravaged right now while swirling some hotties vag but you blew it with your lame morals. now youre sitting here in a 4chan hugbox trying to work your autism out. congrats
>>16329248
Yeah this.
Even if the other girl wasn't there, that's a creepy ass way to get your attention.
>>16331546
She assumed he was, there was logic in that preteen fuckwit
>>16332142
>assumed
>didn't bother to prove her assumptions right
>muh logic
kekles.
>>16332204
>Weak trolling
At least i hope it is if it isnt you need to reeducate yourself or actually go to school
>>16332347
Prove me wrong, then.
Protip: You can't.
Stop being such an edgelord and quit your faggotry while you gtfo, anon.
>>16329248
>>16329274
>>16329919
>>16329934
>>16331028
>>16331963
Let's play a game of "spot the white knight."
>>16331227
Entirely this.
If you weren't interested, removing your hand and changing locations would have gotten the message across just fine.
You didn't need to physically assault him. What you did was incredibly uncalled for, even in context.
Reverse the genders, how does it look then?
Imagine a girl beinflg overly friendly and touchy with a guy, but perhaps she's just not interested in him. Then, imagine that same girl stroke a guy's hand while he reads his book.
Most of /adv/ would call her a slut, but is she really? Is it called for? Some people are just flirty by nature.
Set your own boundaries, but don't impose your values on others.
He gave you an invitation, a polite decline was all it took.
Lrn2social cues you literal autist.
>>16332403
>protip time.
>1st post
>Dating someone doesn't mean you own them. There's no such thing as "she stole him from me" because the gf didn't purchase him. He made a gesture and she accepted, that's what people do. The gf needs to check her sources before investing, then.
When your in a relationship unless the pretenses of the relationship differ from the normal paradime of relationships monogomy is implyed to such an extent that we even have a "single" or "never want to be commited" culture in humanity.
It is BOTH immoral and unethical for HIM to be making advances on anothwr woman without first letting her know his intentions the same applies when genders are reversed.
>2nd post
>She didnt know. He actually wasnt in a relationship. You're illogical, faggot.
How does this come off as illogical? I was congratulating OP fpr what she did as it showed morals the fact that she THOUGHT he had a gf makes my point valid and makes you seem like you cant read or understand english at the very least. Maybe google the definition or morality and ethicallity ? Then you can comment on how anons preseive and use the words without seeming like a litteral moron.
>3rd post
>kekles
I dont need to actually say anything about this cause your actually baiting me but i bit so here goes.
I remember what it was like the first time i visited a chan aswell anon you should go to /b/ and infact im sure you cane here from there its a place you would love everyone there is almost as autistic as you.
>4th post
>Prove me wrong, then.
Protip: You can't.
Stop being such an edgelord and quit your faggotry while you gtfo, anon.
Read above mate, next time you protip you might want to actualy have some integrity to your posts
/protip time.
>>16332579
Not him but, protip:
Quit being such a white knight faggot.
You wrote a long ass post to this guy to rationalize your values. Ask yourself this, if what you held true was so strong, would that really be necessary?
>>16332579
>>2nd post
>She didnt know. He actually wasnt in a relationship. You're illogical, faggot.
I didn't write that one, Sherlock.
But that anon is correct and this is why:
1) OP just assumed and never stopped to think "Wait...are any of my assumptions even correct?"
2) So she thought the guy was an ass, so what if he was? You don't "bend it back as far as it can go without breaking it" because you disagree with someone's morals and standards, you autist.
"3rd post"
tl;dr:
>go to /b/, you big meanie your triggered me, boo hoo.
I have been there and while I don't like the people who enjoy animal abuse and cruelty there at least some "autistic" people make more sense than you do.
>makes you seem like you cant read or understand english at the very least.
Yet,
>When your in a relationship unless the pretenses of the relationship differ from the normal paradime of relationships monogomy is implyed to such an extent that we even have a "single" or "never want to be commited" culture in humanity.
>When your in a relationship
>your in
top kek.
>has to use my own words as a comeback because they're that much of a beta
>newfag detected
Back to Tumblr with you.
>>16331258
>I need to ask somebody before I initiate physical contact with them
>I need someone's verbal and explicit consent in order to engage in sexual intercourse with them
This world is literally becoming autistic by the day. And you fucking freaks somehow think this is progress. I weep for the future.
>>16332632
>>16332403
^ that anon.
Playing Devil's advocate here, sometimes one can misspeak their views and opinions and elaborating is required-- but white knight faggot is such a moralfag that I can't even--
Bless you, anon.
>>16332643
Bro, drop the debate, you're only weakening your own stance by bickering with him.
He lost because he assumes ethics are black and white and looks toward the social narrative for the "right" answer.
Society deems polygamy amoral, thus, under his reality that's wrong, and he deserved such pubishment for being in the "moral wrong," because such a concept is so far outside his reality he can't even grasp it.
However, he fails to understand that the world is built under different value systems all of which hold equal weight, and that the mainstream values he hold so dearly mold and transform over time. He fails to understand that the best way to engage with different values is RESPECTFULLY, and instead feels comfortable imposing his own sense of justice on others.
In short, he's a white knight faggot. Ignore him.
>>16329228
>I need help processing this
No, you definitely do not. Your first instinct to bend his finger backwards was the correct one. He is not being clear with his intentions and he knows he's being manipulative. Any guy who acts this way is being manipulative unless the girl in his lap is a family member.
>>16332658
Cool, bro.
>>16332661
That's like really autistic, I mean as a way of telling somebody you're not interested. That's literal 8 year old emotional intelligence tier.
And from that it's pretty clear that you're just wrong about the guy knowing he's being manipulative. Chances are the guy has no fucking clue that what he's doing might come off as 'manipulative' to some paranoid person like yourself or OP.
I think he was just trying to flirt, OP got flattered and didn't really know how to process it because she's basically a beta female (who the fuck reads a book while they're with a group of people?), and so she reacted as though she was super angry when really she was just super confused.
Again, the emotional intelligence of an 8 year old. I wouldn't trust either of you to tell me anything about the 'manipulative' nature of a given person.
>>16332654
>need
lol, no. But lumberjack didn't-- and OP nearly broke his finger for it. So I guess it's more of a "better safe than sorry", on my part.
>>16332670
Whoa dude, ease up on the autism, please.
Any guy worth his salt knows that if he wants to get actual results from flirting with a girl, the most effective way of doing so is obviously by NOT having another girl sitting on your fucking lap while flirting.
Come on, that's basic.
>>16332661
More white knights
Read >>16332658 and choke on a chode.
>>16332689
The basis of all polygamous relationships is COMMUNICATION. Clear. Communication. The guy in OPs post was doing anything but clear communication. His communication was based off implication and suggestion, not explanation or clarity.
>>16332688
This is actually not true, and it depends on the girls andcthe context, but having other girls show attraction for a guy usually raises their value and can make girls feel attracted to him.
OP is just an antisocial autist, which is obvious since she responded with a violent extreme to an innocent gesture. And even, she was still attracted to him.
>>16332688
No it's actually not basic at all considering that one of the main things women look for in a man to determine whether or not they like him is if he attracts other women.
This isn't a case of OP being disrespected and acting in kind, it's a case of her being awestruck and confused and doing something literally retarded. Don't give her credit where she clearly doesn't deserve it. Especially since you're just going to make yourself look like an idiot arbitrarily sticking up for her when to everyone else it's 100% see-through.
>>16332697
There was communication, nonverbal communication.
>>16332697
First of all it's polyamory not polygamy. Second of all polyamory is just sexual autism and polygamy is only possible if it's one husband/multiple wives. Third, people, normal non-autistic people, do not communicate clearly and explicitly. It's all done through suggestion and implication, and a lot of times even deliberate ambiguity. The fact that you're afraid of that type of communication because you can't handle it doesn't mean it's not completely sufficient for everyone else.
Like people like you actually believe there needs to be some bureaucratic process to me initiating sex with my own wife rather than just having sex with her, otherwise it's rape (you actually believe this, don't kid yourself). You people are autistic and are trying to force your autism and lowest common denominator type of thinking onto the rest of the world and normal people aren't going to be having it for too much longer.
>>16332706
>which is obviou since she responded with a violent extreme to an innocent gesture
There is not enough supporting evidence to conclude the male's intentions here, it is unknown how innocent they were, and since he did not clearly communicate those intentions verbally (nonverbal communication is inherently unclear, hence the purpose of words) this reaction is founded if he was indeed flirting with both girls, especially without the other one's knowledge and if the girl sitting on his lap would be offended by his gesture towards OP. Again, there's a LOT of unknowns here that you are making assumptions on.
>>16332708
It is basic if a girl is looking for a loyal man who is interested in one relationship with one girl. Which I think is not extreme to say that most girls are looking for a monogamous relationship.
I have a feeling that you're a troll, because the OP does not sound "awestruck" in her post. She sounds positively disgusted and revolted. Confused, absolutely, as he seems to be courting two women at once and seems to automatically assume that any female should be just wooed and so grateful that such an audacious male should be attracted to her, which is such a steaming pile of horse shit.
I don't think you know what the word "literal" means here because her reaction is not retarded, literally or figuratively. Your response makes you sound like a misogynist and a bigot, especially when observing your unwarranted anger and name calling. It comes off as incredibly childish man.
>>16332710
>>16332721
OP is clearly not into polyamory. Normal people do communicate clearly and explicitly when making sure that the other suggested partner is OK with polyamory.
There is no "fact" about me being afraid of ambiguous communication and I'm not sure where you got that. No one is saying it's not sufficient, I'm saying the way that THIS guy approached it though is clearly flawed.
>>16332706
>>16332708
>>16332710
>>16332721
Also, all of you are assuming that the male here wants a healthy polyamorous relationship here, which isn't a safe assumption at all given the evidence. I will admit that it does change the dynamic if that is indeed the intention but I've known plenty of guys who will flirt with anyone who looks at them even if they know it would hurt someone else's feelings if they did so. Is it so far fetched for someone to interpret his physical actions in such a way? Is it fair to call someone autistic for reacting in such a way, when there are SO many dirtbag guys out there? Shouldn't us guys be aware of how our intentions are being perceived?
>>16332747
Hold on I'm going to psychoanalyse your post for a quick second:
>which is such a steaming pile of horse shit.
Why is that a steaming pile of horse shit, sweetheart? Why is it so impossible for you to conceive? Maybe not because it can't happen, but because it won't? For you?
You've never been swept off your feet and awestruck by a guy before because you're fragile. You know that, specifically who you are as a person, as a woman, if that guy ever came along, he would probably end up destroying you, because you know, you know deep down inside that you're not good enough for a guy like that.
And that's why it's a 'steaming pile of horse shit'.
Yeah I used the word literally as an intensifier rather than the literal definition of the word, just like how any normal person often uses that word. But what I'm more interested in is your use of the word 'misogynist'. The word means 'hatred of women'. Now tell me where exactly in my post I explicitly pointed out that I hated women?
You can't do that because that never happen.
What you're actually indicating by calling me a misogynist is that I'm failing to put OP on a pedestal.
And that's really the terminal difference between our points of view.
You arrive at OP being 'revolted', whereas I arrive at her being awestruck, because you're by default putting her as a woman on a pedestal, making her the dominant social force here, but I'm not putting either on the pedestal by default, but rather observing the reality of the social situation, which, from context, is quite clear that the guy was the dominant social force.
Here's the thing about communication, which OP is obviously leaving out. She probably has gawked at this guy many a time, he picked up on that, and the ethics of his intentions notwithstanding, he is in no way in the wrong for taking this as subcommunicated interest.
OP however feels like she can cancel anything which hasn't been explicated, and she goes back on the prior signals of interest.
>>16332706
>>16332708
>>16332710
>>16332721
Shouldn't OTHERS be aware of how our intentions are being perceived? You can't just expect people to read your fucking minds based on a fucking finger rub. Unless this whole thing takes place in Utah, it's safe to assume that if he wanted to initiate a polyamorous relationship, he should have made it clear to OP beforehand that he was in an open relationship with said girl on his lap, or that he wasn't really all that into her to begin with, or just fucking anything really. Loyalty and dedication is way more attractive than coming off as a male slut.
>>16332752
There's no such thing as a healthy polyamorous relationship. Just for the record.
>>16332643
Lol i actualy agree with your second point.
>*you're in
happy now autist ?
>>16332658
Im not a white knight fag., i just wanted to congratulate OP for not running to chads dick 1st chance she got, anon saw it nessesary to comment on it so i bit as his bait i honestly should have just seen it for what it was.
I dont condone what she did and never said anything about it but im also not on the THATS ASSULT !! Bandwagon. What she did was about as mature as someone saying "i know you are but what am i".
I also know about polygamy etc. But your getting ethics and morals confused, i do Although like how you can analise my psyche buy reading an argument i had with several (samefag) anons. EnjIy your high horse mate life will knock you down alot unless you realise your not better than anyone else whiteknight or not.
>>16332756
Why does he have to make it clear?
Why do the boundaries need to be felt when they can be seen?
Why, just because you're blind, do you not believe that everyone else isn't?
>>16332754
lol I'm a straight guy dude lmao
I never once said you hated women, not once.
What I'm actually indicating by calling you a misogynist is that you are indeed a misogynist and you're making us look bad.
You're arrival at her being awestruck is a misinterpretation on your part. I'm sure OP would agree.
The guy is not wrong in taking this as communicated interest, he is wrong in his actions that followed upon learning of said interest. If he really wanted to get with OP, he would have been more precise, and more careful in his ambiguous communications.
>>16332765
I have no idea what you're asking. He doesn't have to make it clear, but if he doesn't want a girl to bend his finger back next time he flirts with a girl while another girl is sitting on his lap, he better be more clear next time or he's gonna get another bent finger lol
>>16332721
You forgot your tinfoil hat anon careful or the reptilians will read your mind and force more capitalist belifes on you
>>16332766
Yeah I know you're hearing pretending you're a straight male, but that's not actually the case.
No guy with his balls not cut off would take words like 'misogyny' or 'bigotry' seriously. It's just not in the male mental inventory, and rightly so.
>I'm sure OP would agree.
This is exactly what I'm talking about. You're taking her word as infallible just because she has a vagina, when it's pretty glaringly obvious from the context, whether she likes it or not, that she's some mousy girl who was awestruck by a chad who is obviously interested in her only to use her sexually. That doesn't give her the fucking right to nearly break this asshole's finger. That's autistic no matter which way you spin it.
And no that's bullshit, the point is to be subtle and smooth, not to go up to a woman and ask her 'DO YOU LIKE ME', because in reality that will scare the woman away (because she'll think he's a completely autistic idiot who needs direct communication in order to function), unless the guy is like amazingly model-tier attractive. This has nothing to do with me personally but it's just the reality of 'the average guy'. When points like these are made it's always in terms of the average guy.
>>16332776
What the fuck are you even on about. Talk about a fucking try hard this one.
>>16332776
lol yes! This!
>>16332779
lol you must be a fan of Fox News, aren't you?
>>16332769
Or OP was just being autistic and acting like an 8 year old girl.
Why couldn't she just communicate disinterest in a less damaging way? Maybe she puts her hand over his hand in order to stop him from stroking her?
I can understand sending a message if he repeatedly continues to do it, because that would warrant it as he's forcing himself upon her in a more direct, less innocent way, but her becoming violent right off the bat is a clear sign of a lack of emotional intelligence.
And that's exactly where I get the idea that's she's just some awestruck, mousy little girl.
>>16332783
Mate what the fuck are you talking about the things you're saying aren't following from one another.
>>16332779
Nevemind, I concede to the great and mighty 12 Year Old Vagina Warrior who thinks that acting like a total sleeze ball makes women "awestruck" lol
>>16332779
>What the fuck are you even on about. Talk about a fucking try hard this one.
Im not sure why but for some reason (maybe you were abused / whitnessed the abuse of your mother?) you really do seem to have YOURSELF as being on some sort of moral high horse.
Whether or not what OP did was inappropriate is beside the point now, if you dont realise that by chad having some bitch on his lap while trying to "communicate" with OP by touching her is inappropriate in almost any scocial interaction in any westernized culture then you really are just trolling and actually shoukd just go over to /b/ you wont have so many people arguing against you there.
>>16332787
OP admitted to liking this guy and she's obviously jealous from seeing him with another girl. He picks up on her obvious attraction cues and decides he wants her so he expresses interest back. She becomes confuses that the guy who she likes but was with another girl is expressing interest and doesn't know how to process that interest, likely because it's never happened to her before from a guy who she likes, and so she, out of disbelief of the whole situation along with not knowing how to deal with it, becomes violent.
Like that scene in Goodwill Hunting where Matt Damon starts yelling at Robert Williams when Williams starts repeating to him 'it's not your fault'. Violence is a common reaction to situations of confusion. No surprise that Matt Damon's character was portrayed as especially emotionally underdeveloped, just like OP.
I'm not saying the guy isn't a player, but OP was clearly in the wrong for becoming violent with him due to something as innocent as him gently stroking her hand.
>>16332786
>Maybe she puts her hand over his hand in order to stop him from stroking her?
A girl putting her hand over a dude's hand is a sign of affection, not repulsion.
>Why couldn't she just communicate disinterest in a less damaging way?
& also >>16332804
What damage did she actually do? Did she leave a mark? Did she break his finger? Ohh did poor male slut get a boo boo on his finger?
>Mate what the fuck are you talking about the things you're saying aren't following from one another.
Only a Fox News fan or some other media owned by Rupert Murdoch thinks that males can't and shouldn't be self critical of how horrible we've treated women socially, politically, and economically for millennia.
>>16332804
lol ok you have to be a troll. You didn't just compare this dude's horribly idea of flirting with Goodwill Hunting lol
And what exactly is so "innocent" about stroking someone's hand? Especially if he "wants to use her sexually" as this other asshole suggests?
>>16332800
I don't see that as inappropriate at all but I know exactly why you do.
You put women on a pedestal. You're a pussy whipped little fucking faggot and that's why it's unimaginable to you that a man could treat a woman as a second class citizen in the effect of having both at the same time.
But newsflash that's just nature and there's really nothing too wrong about it being the way it is.
You're the one on the moral high horse and it's because you're a scared little rat with a double digit IQ. Go figure fuckboy.
>>16332810
ooOOOooo a homophobe too! 12 Year Old Vagina Warrior, to the rescue!
>>16332810
U mad?
>>16332809
I meant her putting her hand over his in order to stop the stroking. Like flattening his hand out but not violently. Guarantee you that would have sent the same message but without making her seem like an 8 year old.
>Ohh did poor male slut get a boo boo on his finger?
It's not about the damage she did to him he's a man and can take it, it's about dealing with people in a fucking normal way and not like you're autistic.
>Only a Fox News fan or some other media owned by Rupert Murdoch thinks that males can't and shouldn't be self critical of how horrible we've treated women socially, politically, and economically for millennia.
You literally can't be serious right now. No, males have not treated women horribly, that's just a socially constructed idea which arises from living in an artificial bubble of comfort which was never meant to exist in the first place. The 'horror' to which you're referring is actually just the status quo and any educated (i.e. conservative-minded) person recognises that fact of a status quo and the likewise fact of artificial bubble of comfort, but you don't. And that's why you feel it's true that men have 'mistreated' women. It's bullshit. They haven't. And no I don't watch fox news but I am a social conservative, as any person would be after a solid education.
>You didn't just compare this dude's horribly idea of flirting with Goodwill Hunting lol
I didn't actually. I made an analogy which used a scene in the movie to speak to emotional underdevelopment and the way violence general results from it.
>And what exactly is so "innocent" about stroking someone's hand? Especially if he "wants to use her sexually" as this other asshole suggests?
It's innocent because it's not sex against her will at that point. But sex is just the default reality. So things leading up to it cannot in themselves be considered particularly guilty.
>>16332812
Homophobia is more natural that homosexuality.
>>16329228
Leave out the other girl. He suggestively touched OP (not an accidental bump, but a stroking) without her permission. She has the right to react strongly.
>>16332829
No she doesn't.
Women aren't Gods. You don't need their permission before you can touch one.
>>16332831
You are WRONG. You ALWAYS need permission to touch ANYONE other than yourself. Guy or girl.
>>16332849
No you don't you fucking raging autist.
Get over yourself.
>>16332831
You can't just go around stroking people's hands, that is not acceptable. It's fucking creepy.
You don't have to be a fucking God to deserve some fucking respect.
>>16329228
It's his damn fault for going for mixed messages. But if you really fancy him you should talk to him and explain why you bent his finger.
Communication. Not that hard.
>>16332852
YES YOU DO OMG try that at a playground on some kids and explain to the cops that you don't need anyone's permission to touch them.
Even with adults, if it's unwanted sexual contact, even if it's just suggested contact, that is sexual harassment
>>16332810
And with this post you just lost wd tinfoil maybe go to therapy i dont idolize women at all infact i was congratulating OP for not slutting around. Enjoy life neckbeard im sorry you / your mother was abused but you can still live a healthy life.
>>16332831
Yes she does your just a backwards retard that claims to be conservative and educated get a fucking clue mate. The same would be true if she put her hand on your leg no gender is above any other they are all the same but inappropriate sexual advances and still inappropriate educated or not.
>>16332854
Of course not. It's all based on what is acceptable relative to context. And in this context I would say it really wasn't some huge unacceptable thing for this guy to physically affect OP like he did.
>>16332859
Again, it's about appropriateness relative to the situation.
But that's not the same thing as having to literally ask somebody for permission. Stop getting the two things confused.
And no it's not sexual harassment if it's just suggestive. A lot of people may believe that nowadays but that's just hypersensitivity, not actual harassment.
Sexual harassment is when you slap a girl's arse and tell her you know how much she wants to throat 'this dick', not gently and affectionate stroking somebody because you want to convey a moderate amount of potential interest.
It's the difference between aggressive and passive. Once you start calling passive suggestion sexual harassment you start bending the law in favour of the female.
And it's not even wrong to bend the law in favour of a group of people, what matters is why you're doing it, and the reason why people would allow for the law to be bended in favour of women is because they're sexually desperate and believe doing things in favour of women will somehow lead to sex. So in that way it's never okay to bend the law in favour of women. Because it's always out of some sort of male desperation.
>>16332863
>no gender is above any other they are all the same
No men are pretty clearly above women. Not in a particularly bad way though and that's something your tiny little ant brain just can't grasp. The 12th floor isn't exactly 'lesser' than the 37th floor, but the 37th floor is 'above' it, in any case.
>>16329228
hi femanon, it seems that you are attracted to him. your female mind cant comprehend how to resolve this problem. but do not worry, we do not blame you for it, but that's just how the way are.
as an anon from adv of you take the logical action: stop offering your interest to him. he knows what he's doing.
but if for heaven's sake you do otherwise, even if you did not think about it well, you still went for it - so you may suffer the consequences thereof.
Holy fuck, anon. You are really just the worst.
OP probably isn't even watching the thread anymore. I'm going to bed.
Have fun giving guys everywhere a bad name, whether your intentions are good or bad.
>>16332893
You think misogyny is a concept which can be validly extrapolated out of its basic definition nothing you could ever say will have any value to it.
I want to make that clear to you.
>>16329228
>be girl
>know chad
>chad fucks all the girls
>chad wants to fuck me
>omg guys chad wants to fuck me
Literally your story, mods WHERE THE FUCK are you, how does this bitch need advice, are people actually this morally fucked they need others to tell them to do things they already realise are morally wrong?
>>16332142
>She assumed he was, there was logic in that preteen fuckwit
There's no logic in making baseless assumptions, moron.
>>16331673
>I seriously doubt that the guy just has a "physically affectionate buddy", it's very unlikely.
Fuck you. I had someone just like that in college. She was a lesbian, though.
>>16331724
>Anon, let's pretend you're the lumberjack guy -- some ho you were flirting with just tried to break your finger because she:
>>assumed you were taken
>>assumed your gf didn't want you to flirt
>>didn't even try to make sure her assumptions were correct
>Would you tap that brand of crazy? Imagine if you were bangin' her on a regular and then one day she thinks you cheated... OP and her assuming ass would ram a log up your lumberjack pooper on the spot...
Fuck no. She's clearly incapable of mature adulthood.
>make an assumption
>assumption was wrong
>look to the internet to make sure you are never wrong ever and can somehow villianize this man who has done nothing wrong
>>16332829
>Leave out the other girl. He suggestively touched OP (not an accidental bump, but a stroking) without her permission. She has the right to react strongly.
Its only harassment if he's ugly/she doesnt like him.
Thats the flaw in fem-logic. Women have gotten by since the beginning of time by having men make the first move. Now they still want men to make the first move while calling them assaulting, misogynist, sex predators when one you don't like makes the physical contact move that you would otherwise actually want from a man that you actually desire?
How about if you think that it shouldnt be like this you grow a pair of vaginal balls and start asking men out directly, and lead by example, rather than act like histrionic crying babies.
OP just pick the sanest sounding comments, remember this is 4chan a misogynistic latent homosexual place where they'll defend the dreaded 'Chad' before you.
He's probably is touchy-feely with most girls and you sound like you don't like that which is fair enough, though you may have went a tiny bit overboard bending back his finger.
>>16332938
kek'd
>He's probably is touchy-feely with most girls
This is what virgins actually believe.
>>16332938
>whatever I don't like is actually misogynistic and secretly gay
If OP wasn't some annoying mousy 'oh my God the popular guy likes me!' type of girl, I would have probably agreed with her and her situation.
But a girl like that wouldn't post on here.
Girls who call guys misogynistic as some sort of catch-all are riddled with insecurity and emotional instability.
Honestly unless a guy like gets off on seeing women in pain there's really no sense in calling him misogynistic. It really just doesn't make any sense and is a fault of the mind doing the thinking. Sort of like how to Derrida everything is deconstruction, but at the same time everything isn't, and you always misuse the word whenever you use it correctly. In other words it's all bullshit.
>>16332763
>Im not a white knight fag., i just wanted to congratulate OP for not running to chads dick 1st chance she got,
That's exactly what makes you white knight faggot you jealous little parasite.
>>16332752
>>16332747
He touched her HAND, fuck off. If she wasn't interested she simply needed to pull her hand away. You're acting as if he'd grabbed her tits or tried to pull her in and finger her.
The guy's actions did not merit physical abuse, and you're retarded for defending her actions. She didn't need to resort to violence, this isn't some anime. Her reaction was extreme.
A woman has no right physically abuse a man, same as a man has no right to physically abuse a woman. No human has the right to abuse another human being. Period.
There are no concessions here, now fuck off with your white knighting, don't encourage that sort of behaviour because a guy is trying to flirt with a woman you little chodes.
So you bent a manwhore's finger when he touched you in an awkward situation. Yer goin to Hell.
Gonna kill myself from this story, brb
>physical assault!
You know, if you keep complaining about feminists overusing terms like misogyny, you better not commit the same sims.
>>16333120
Feminist use inflated jargon which favours connotation over any sort of actual denotation.
Calling what OP did 'physical assault' may seem like the same thing but it's actually a very technical sort of reduction. The people here throwing around the term physical assault are actually referring to a definition.
That's literally the opposite of what feminists do when they use the idea of misogyny.
