>open your mailbox
>see this
wat do?In all genuine honesty, what would you do?
feed it to my dogs
>>139402869
Throw it away.
Why would I want a unfuckably-tiny girl pickled in semen?
Wake up.
If that doesn't work, go to a psychiatric ward.
Take it out of the jar and clean the semen off it.
>>139402869
I would try to put my penis inside.
>>139402954
Companionship?
Call the milkman, ask him to replace the bottle.
>>139402869
>another man's semen
Throw it away.
>>139402869
go to /x/ and shitpost
Give her a bath in the sink while I go buy the smallest baby clothes I can find, and a cute hat. Fiercely protect her from perverts, gubberment agents, and religious nutters.
remove cork
cum in bottle and all over the literal semen demon
replace cork
put into a different mailbox
pay it forward
>>139402869
Take to my room and lock the door.
>>139402869
Return to sender.
>>139402869
Go to my sink and wash the semen out of the jar and wash the little demon girl with soap. Then take a little washcloth, cut up some holes for her head and arms and get her dressed. Then train to fly around and do chores such as making me hot pockets, doing my dishes, jerking me off with her body, warming up the bath, etc etc.
report it to the post office because putting shit in mailboxes is illegal
[x] shake jar
>this entire image set
>dick doesn't fit
>dick shaped syringe
>>139402869
>In all genuine honesty, what would you do?
Assume somebody with a lot of time and money on their hands is playing a really elaborate and strange prank on me.
>>139402869
Put some latex gloves before doing anything.
Then maybe wash her and let her free.
>>139403217
Your post made me decide to look at the set again. Pleasantly surprised.
>>139403278
correct terminology is condom
Feed her with quial eggs
>obviously traumatized cute girl who has been used and abused
>/a/ will do anything but make her feel better
Why are you guys so cruel?
>>139403174
One of these things is not like the others.
>>139402869
>you have to eat all the eggs
>>139403092
This
>>139403038
That is what you have dogs for. A humanoid woman that is unfuckable is pointless.
>>139403374
>humanoid woman
human =/= humanoid
Learn the difference.
>>139403374
You can do other stuff besides sex. You can just have her lick and stroke your dick.
>>139403334
>who has been used
Go google 'succubus', dumb bitch.
i'd take my money and rasie her as a daughter far away from society, then use her powers to terrorize cities
That would be creepy as fuck.
>>139403091
>>139403174
These tbqh fampire. Plus maybe you can't fuck her, but you can masturbate into her mouth and on her little body so it's fine.
>>139403442
How do you know for sure she's a succubus?
>>139402869
I'd probably keep it as a pet fornon-sexualpurposes, desu.
>>139402869
Slap some gloves on, Clean her up, Find some clothing for her, raise her like an Imouto that I never had. Hope she grows up to be big and strong.
>>139403522
I'm an expert.
>>139403522
>Demon girl
>In a jar
>A jar of semen
Something smells fishy, and it isn't her.
>>139403415
Yes, that should be obvious from my post.
>>139403564
This. I never had an imouto, and a cute demon one at that, so I'm not gonna throw this chance away.
>>139402869
I dont know. I am a pretty shitty person who could kill himself at any time, so send it to someone better than me i guess?
>>139403334
Why should we? What do we get out of it?
>>139403564
>>139403618
This is a good idea, because I also have an incest fetish.
>>139403594
She doest look happy about the semen though
>>139403426
Meh. Doesnt seem worth it. I would probably sell her for money or something. Im sure some rich billionaire would pay top $$$ for her.
>>139403699
A succutits would have drank it all by now. Im guessing she is some kind of imp
>>139403670
>he gets nothing out of making others happy
>he thinks friendship is worth nothing
>>139402869
>open your mailbox
I don't have one
>>139403522
wow.. she has a built in beer bottle opener. perfect!
>>139402869
Clean her (with a facemask and gloves on, of course) and raise her to be a daughteru. I'd pamper the fuck out of her cause I have nothing else to do with my money.
>>139402869
Bible says to burn demonic artifacts to be free of demons.
Acts 19:19
>Many of them also which used curious arts brought their books together, and burned them before all men: and they counted the price of them, and found it fifty thousand pieces of silver.
Anyone have the "thank you onii-chan" pic from the last demongirl thread? That was cute af
Open up the jar and then run dump it in a bucket.
Run the hose in the bucket for like a day and then check back later with some soap and do it again.
Will probably do that with a week.
After that she can do whatever, figs are expensive to having one that can walk and talk would somehow be immensely satisfying all by itself.
>>139403742
the semen is to keep her alive during shipping, pop the top and give her a couple days, she'll wake up when she get's hungry
Force feed her eggs.
>>139403804
>>139403768
Where does one buy tiny demon girl clothes?
>>139403374
but what if she had 2d character, anon
you'll never have a tiny magical girl that feeds on your "sexual energy"
>>139402869
Raise it into a pure girl.
There isn't enough purification fetish material.
>>139402869
something something eggs
>>139403714
>not wanting your own personal mini-girl to desperately try to pleasure your dick despite it being the size of her whole body
>watching her lick and massage the head like a beach ball, and have to hug it like a treetrunk then squat up and down to stroke you
>>139403861
They sell clothes for dolls.
Alternatively, make your own for her.
>>139403861
Just cut out little holes for her horns, wings, and tail?
As for size, I imagine you could buy clothes made for figures that fit her
>>139403092
upvoted
>>139402869
Microwave it.
>>139403902
This is my fetishes. To bad there arnt any good doujin like this
>>139403861
In your local FBI office.
Just kidding.
>>139403359
>>139403312
>>139403831
>>139403897
I don't get it
Have a mental breakdown for awhile because apparently demons or at least something that looks exactly like a demon are real until I can get someone i trust to reassure me they can see it too and I haven't lost my mind. Then I would start looking for information on supernatural forums because I don't want to risk letting the fact that I'm lonely/horny cause me to accidentally unleash an eldritch abomination into the world who may very well may be appearing in such a form specifically in order to prey on vulrable people's sympathies.
Also I would use all the superstitious I know to stash it away, holy water, anointed oils, incense, pentagrams, salt circle, mirror lined box, and everything I can think of short of burying it at a cross roads.
After that I don't know. Honestly I really do want to free her and take care of her but the safest thing to do seems to be contacting an old school catholic priest who still preforms exorcisms since in light of the fact this thing exists there may actually be some merit to that sort of thing.
>The pragmatic side of me will never allow me to have a cute demon waifu, feels bad man.
>>139403861
I'm sure it's not too hard to make her some. If anything, you could just teach her how to make a toga or something similar and that should suffice.
I imagine feeding her shouldn't be an issue, assuming she eats normal food. She probably doesn't eat that much.
My only concern is entertainment. I have no idea what she would constitute as entertainment to keep her busy. Books and TV are easy, but I could probably build her tiny PC peripherals if she wants to use the computer.In the event that I can somehow obtain or make a screen, keyboard, mouse, desk and headphones small enough for her, I will teach her how to shitpost on /a/.
>>139403994
Please kill yourself.
>>139403876
I would try to convert her into a pure angel/fairy.
Then she could perform miracles and the alike.
>>139403994
>even acknowledging the possibility that it's a demon and not just a biological experiment or advanced animatronic
>>139403991
>being this new
>>139402869
Wash her up, steal some of the clothes from my sister's dolls and raise her as my own.
>>139403965
Bondage fairies had a good bit of this sort of thing if I recall but it's been a very long time since I read it.
>>139403861
iunno, cut holes out of a sock or something. maybe keep screen wipes handy for basic material.
Don't do this to me anon, you're only going to break my heart the more I think about this.
>>139403994
>being this responsible
Just use to to masturbate like a normal man, Jesus Christ.
>>139402869
So she's a tiny succubus? Would filling her jar with semen be correct?
>>139403091
>Smallest baby clothes I can find
Ball Jointed Doll clothes.
>>139403994
Just jam it in faggot
>>139404101
That the one from the 90s? Yaa can't get into it if it's art style is so dated
Not saying I didn't jack to it tho.
>>139404141
From what I can tell from the original image set, she isn't succubus because she doesn't like being penetrated/licked/etc. Probably just a cute imp?
>>139404138
>>139404045
>>139404169
>OP asks what people would genuinely do
>people get butthurt when somebody tries to actually answer instead of making the exact same sex joke 50 other people all made
It's one thing when there's no originality.
It's another when people actively work against it.
No wonder this site is reddit 2.0 now.
>>139403994
You think too much.
>>139402869
She looks like fun.
http://gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=gulp
>>139404204
Just found it, still seems cute.
>>139404232
And feel too little
>>139402869
I'd sell her to some pharmaceutical company and make a fuckton of money. Which i can use to help my IRL family.
>>139403991
YOU HAVE TO EAT ALLL THE EGGSS
>>139404204
Yeah, she's most likely just a little imp. I also saw the original image set.
Wtf was up with the furry shit at the end, tho'? Can't enjoy my cute little imp porn without some deviancy sneaking in.
Nurture it, feed it and cuddle with it untill it's around 4 feet tallthen feed her to my python which i have had for even longer and film it swallowing her.
I have it for the sole purpose of masturbationbeing a vorefag and all.
>>139404230
I'm not criticizing the dude for giving a serious response, I'm criticizing him for being that fucking responsible when he should be trying to fuck the literal semen demon he received in a jar. Just jam it in for fucks sake.
>muh reddit boogeyman
Kill yourself.
>>139404230
That's the problem. You're genuinely a faggot for genuinely wanting to take that course of action.
>>139403994
no eggs, huh
>>139402869
Honestly? Yeah, I'd try to raise her. My first worry is how to communicate with her, though, right after getting her out of that bottle and cleaning her up.
Why care about some tiny demon when you can have a qt angel gf?
I want to play with her.
>>139403747
No really, do i get something out of it?
>>139403902
While that would be nice, i think what, $50 million dollars could buy me some nice stuff.
>>139404379
This is why you have no friends, anon. Having no empathy is a sign of autism.
>>139404369
Dont think an angek would agree with my rape/lolicon/shotacon/incest/slave/trap fetishes.
>>139404375
Thanks for the censorship anon, I definitely won't get fired now
>>139404369
>that scene where her angel wings are painfully coming out for the first time
I had the biggest fucking erection during that, no shame.
>>139404445
I have very few friends i admit, but i really see no benefit in this think liking me. Whatever i want from it i could take by force.
>>139402869
>>139404475
I don't think this demon girl would, either. She doesn't seem to be enjoying herself in there.
>>139404354
Sorry man, even fairies and imps are fucking terrifying in old folklore. 2d is one thing and I like the image set but if it was real the information I have to work with means I'm nopeing the fuck out of there.
Enjoy your bad end though, it will proably be fun for a little while.
>>139404512
the few friends you have probably just keep you around for laughs at your expense, anon.
>>139404354
>>139404359
If you're claiming you would genuinely do anything but freak out and think you've gone crazy, or that there's something incredibly dangerous of this mindblowing creature you've just found, then you're lying.
And yes you are reddit. Reddit hates originality, it's all about just copying the majority to them. 4chan is becoming more and more like that.
>>139404537
She's some sort of imp, so the best thing to do is figure out how to communicate and adapt to human society.
>>139404512
Jesus Christ, anon. Sometimes I'm reminded that some of you are genuinely autistic and it makes me feelbetter about myself.
>>139404564
Im okay with that. I get what i need out of them as well.
>>139404512
>Whatever i want from it i could take by force.
Edgy.
>>139404511
It's hard being a Haibane
Make a shitty movie
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qSg9MX-zwfs
>>139404575
No, honestly the first thing that would come to my mind would be who to sell it to and for how much.
>>139404564
>>139404600
This anon is right. You should have grown out of this phase by 16 at least, unless of course you are underage. You sound like an edgy mc for fuck sake.
>>139404245
That image set is pretty gross.
Pretty disappointed.
>>139404575
I'm imaging a fedora tip at the end of each of your sentences.
>>139402869
How come demon girls are so underrated? Hardly anyone in /a/ talks about them, and we might get a anime with them once every three seasons.
>>139404654
upvoted
>>139402869
Do the responsible thing and quietly contact the proper government forces and get rewarded for turning in the hellspawn to them so it can be properly destroyed.
>>139404614
Really not edgy though, seems like common sense. Its not human and it is the size of a barbie doll. What is going to stop me?
>>139404615
>not posting the actual webm
>>139404561
Nah dude, I honestly agree with your reaction, and in reality I would probably do the same shit you would do. I've read enough old fairytales to know that you don't fuck around with supernatural shit without getting your soul eaten or something. That shit is scary, and given how thoroughly convinced I am that nothing supernatural, even a "god" exists, I would especially freak out from having my whole understanding of life crumble. In actuality, this would be a terrifying occurrence.
But this is /a/, not /x/ or something so I gave an appropriate /a/ themed response, and that would be to love, pamper, and cum on my new little imp sex slave.
>>139404575
Fuck off you whiner. Nobody gives a shit.
>>139402869
Like you want a full on, genuine, non-shitpost version of what I would do?
>Make sure it's not a prank. Tap on the glass or something to see if it moves. Is it alive/dead, etc.
>Take plenty of photos. Shit tons of photos. Copy to a dozen flash drives at least and bury/hide them as backups.
>While taking plenty of safety precautions against biohazards, I would carefully open the jar and remove the subject.
>Take samples of WHATEVER WHITE FLUID THAT IS and find out where I can send it to get it tested. If it is cum I could probably find out who's it is. Maybe. If I can find out who filled the jar with fucking jizz maybe he can explain more.
>At this point I would realize I probably shouldn't be even fucking with this thing, but SCIENCE.
>Like seriously, it could be an alien or some shit and I'd just be killing it.
>REMOVE subject from jar. I would reason with myself that anything would be better than suffocating in a jar of semen.
>Attempt to wake the subject.
...
Alive?
>Attempt communication.
>Could go anywhere from there.
>Ask it questions. Who did this to you, what the fuck are you, can you turn me into a wizard, etc. Important things.
Dead?
>Fuck. I hope I didn't do that.
>Someone has to see this thing. Anybody. The more who know the less chances I'll be called crazy.
>Risk everything by telling/showing a select few, hopefully not putting them on some government hit list as a result.
>Anonymously release NON-GRAINY, CLEAR photos online.
Basically it would just end up with me being some supernatural whistle-blower and getting sniped by some Illuminati hit squad and I would have not a single damn regret if the world knows.
>>139404693
Even edgier.
>>139402869
Call a priest.
>>139404720
Please explain, i genuinely see no edge in that post.
>>139404703
Das it mane. I wish it had sound though. Half the reason it was so boner inducing was the screaming to be honest.
>>139404635
Odds are if it got out you had this thing and it wasn't a fake stunt, the government would just take it from you by force and probably kidnap you too to keep you from leaking any info about it.
>>139404640
It's hot but also kind of sad, because I feel that's what a lot of guys would do if they got their hands on a cute imp girl.
>>139404486
browsing /a/ on work computers, hope you faggots get burned by normal faggotry.
>>139404675
I don't think they would reward you for it. It's more likely they would silence you after confirming it's real or they're aware no one would believe you anyways.
>>139404750
You could always youtube it, m8.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=plhKkSfKP2k
>>139404737
>Its not human
Neither are animals, do you kick puppies? Edgy.
>it is the size of a barbie doll.
Small animals exist, see above. Edgy.
>What is going to stop me?
What's to stop you from shooting up a school/punching someones face in/doing literally anything? Edgy.
The fact you can't see has added more edgy. Edgy combo.
>youtube with a video of me and imp
>make sure i include who i am
>go to nearest media station.
Instant protection
>>139404705
>op asks for genuine answer
>lol dis is /a/ i just gib meme answer cuz we all such memers here
>>139404675
I seriously don't think the government would take responsibility for it, at least not immediately. It's not like they have a demon slayer squad waiting around.
You'd probably have go to the media first and publicize it to get anyone's attention. You might also take it to the hospital, but before all that, you'd need to secure legal rights over her to ensure no ramifications will go against you. You need to make sure you own her before you can do something like sell her. Also, I believe most western countries have laws in place that grants human rights to beings of certain intelligence levels for cases like these, as dumb as that sounds (but it's true). All in all, i think the smartest thing to do would to consult a lawyer, first thing.
>>139404792
>not the dub
It's not the same, but thanks.
>>139404812
Do you know the ramifications that would cause if we suddenly had 100% evidence of demons or demon like imps?
The world would never be the same anymore.
>>139404812
>>139404848
>he thinks the government can't shut down a single little media station, then put out a cover story that it was all just a hoax by some special effects artist
>>139404707
>>139404848
I would do this combination of things.
Make sure I'm safe and try to keep "it" safe
>>139402869
Release her. That seems really terrible to be inside of.
>>139404795
>Neither are animals, do you kick puppies?
No, i would get nothing out of it. But i would kill a chicken to eat it.
>it is the size of a barbie doll.
Again, see above.
>What is going to stop me?
Your jumping to an extreme for no reason, without adressing the main point: no laws protect her, and she doesnt have the physical strength to resist. I would not shoot up or a school otlr in most cases punch someone in the face, because i in no way benefit from it. Are you just trying to bait me or something?
What would it smell like when you opened it? Probably vomit all over the bottle
>>139404707
>release NON-GRAINY, CLEAR photos online
Your a mad man! There's no way that would work!
>>139404899
Yeah we get it buddy, you dress in all black and are the coolest kid on the block because you killed your emotions because they only get in the way. Keep it in your fanfics.
>>139404873
You would be amazed by how quickly things go viral now a days. Even the government cant stop something that has become THAT talked about. And if i go missing, how are they gonna explain that? Its really like breaking any major story actually.
I understand the risks in taking care of a supernatural creature that could be, by it's nature, evil and manipulative, but I would do it anyway. The chance that I'll become the hero/friend/lover of somebody would make it all worth it. If I die by her or whoever is hunting her, whatever, so long as I don't end up in hell or something.
>>139404914
Does semen even have a smell?
>>139404946
Alright, you are obviously baiting since you cant actually make an argument aside from
>le edge.
Have fun trolling, somebody might take the bait.
>>139404707
Might want to take some precautions against getting eaten by a trickster fairy or releasing some wrathful old god, but good answer. I would recommend posting clear videos, not pictures though. While videos can be faked, it's shit tons harder than photos since we have stuff like photo shop now, and the only way to fake videos is with really elaborate special effects or very good CG on a grainy vid. It would add a lot more credibility to your revealing. And when you show people IRL, show them the actual thing so that they really full on believe you.
When you go public (presumably online), stream that shit. People will be much less inclined to believe a stream is faked due to the colossal time, effort, and money that would need to go into a believable imp thing, especially if it talks and has human facial expressions. Good post.
>>139404914
>what would the smell of an extreme amount of old semen smell like
Your room.
>>139404962
You've just become so desensitized to it that you can't notice it any more.
>>139404899
So what you're saying is you'd do anything if it benefited you regardless of others? Edgy.
>>139404767
>not trusting your goverment
Commie
>>139404848
>wanting to become the main character of a Disney movie
Jew
>>139404962
Are you a femanon?
>>139404707
This.
I was literally getting ready to sit and write a greentext exactly like this one, but luckily you did it first.
>>139404812
>he actually believes the hollywood bullshit that the government/crazy people wont kill you if you 'go public'
good goy.
>>139404986
Is edgy the go to term for "things i dont like" on this website?
>>139403991
get out newfag
>>139405031
Shouldn't you be busy polishing your katana collection?
>>139404994
But it's Capitalists and Libertarians who don't trust their government. Communists technically should be the ones trusting their government.
>>139405015
Im sure they might, later. But as long as i am in the medias eye, what is the point of killing me, the secret has already been revealed.
>>139404994
>trusting your government
At this point, I don't know how you could.
>>139404985
>You've just become so desensitized to it that you can't notice it any more.
Most likely.
>>139405001
No.
>>139404914
Yeah. I came in my little mini trashcan four times yesterday and it reeked of what I can only describe as "cum smell". I wouldn't necessarily call it unpleasant, but it's really pretty strong in a subtle kind of way. It's hard to compare it to another familiar smell though; it's just the "cum smell" to me.
>>139404983
Adding onto my comment here, I'd also say to post from behind a dozen proxies and VPNs, and remove all identifying things from the room before streaming a video. Who knows what governments would do to come take your imp waifu.
>>139404899
nice backstory, fanfic fag
>>139405049
Not even him, you are just being silly.
>>139405082
O jesus, you are really butthurt.
>>139405090
Agreed.
Sillyness has no benefit to me, therefore it must be killed. Just like small animals. Sillyness is weakness, and I am strong. I am the superior being.
Flush it down the toilet
Really rather not deal with demonic shit
>>139405126
kek
>>139405126
O god anon, i dont even know if you were genuinely mad or playing a role at this point.
>>139405126
Thanks for the laugh.
>>139405126
Unfortunately for you, you have autism. Thus, as someone who lives a fairly successful life and has the capacity to show empathy, I am superior to you. And as your superior, I'd raise this demon girl as a daughter, and you can't stop me.
>>139404994
>not trusting your goverment
>Commie
You don't know how communism work.
Raise her like a daughter, companionship grows into taboo romance, stop at nothing to protect her from the evils of the world.
>>139404994
>unironically trusting the gubberment
How do those boots taste, anon?
>>139405174
What if she gives you powers or something like that? It's not like I have much to lose anyway.
wake up
>>139405229
can't wake up
>>139405220
But at what price?
I wouldn't mind becoming some sort of wizard but if I lost my soul or something much more valuable to me than that, it's not worth it.
>>139405193
Why would I be mad? I have evolved beyond the limits of humanity, ascended to a greater level. You weak humans are bound by your emotions, which lead you to illogical actions, and ensure your extinction.
http://exhentai.org/g/507757/b22c11eec6/
>>139405206
And as a faceless old man, i will rape your daughter until she becomes a mindless cumdump, and make a video of her crying out for you to save her.
>>139405216>>139405216
Daikichi pls go
Buy pic related and have fun with her.
>>139405220
I could totally go for a deal with the devil. I'd be pretty ok with being their human representative on earth. It's still more likely that a demonic being would just kill you as soon as you aren't of any use. If you left a good trail of notes, memos, and videos you could create a pretty good cthulhu like adventure for whoever finds your body though.
>>139405275
I dont think you can buy a little girl that easily.
>>139405220
>It's not like I have much to lose anyway
Man, so many people think that but it's literally never true. Even if you were naked and all you have is a shitty laptop in an abandoned basement that still had electricity and dial up for some reason, you still have a lot to lose. Rape, torture, soul eating, literal hell, all of that is on the table now that you found this little demon imp fairy thing. Even if you think you've reached rock bottom, you can ALWAYS go lower, and you could reach somewhere where you miss your damp, cold basement.
>>139405267
You'd have to get past me first, m8. Good luck with that.
>>139405220
What if shes a cutie and actually likes me? I want to hug her.
companion.
probably try to feed her i dunno.
an intelligent being that isnt human intrigues me greatly. probably ask her about the spiritual world
>>139405275
>plastic everything
That looks extremely uncomfortable
>>139405254
Keep 'em coming, based dark knight
>>139405319
>implyong you can beat a faceless old man
Its hopeless anon. She will bear hindreds of cute little imp babies.
>>139402869
Probably release it because I'll never sell it before the government or another foreign agency murders me for it. If that doesn't happen then there's a good chance I'll end up dealing with some magical cunts that will ruin my life.
Killing or keeping it are the worst options.
>>139405275
>Thanks master this furniture is really uncomfortable.
>>139402869
Fill it to the brimwith her in it
>>139405322
Nobody could like you anon you fucking faggot.
>>139405360
>implying I'm not a faceless old man, too
Check m8
>>139405298
wanna bet?
>>139405337
>>139405383
Do you really think I'm a rich mothefucker to buy picrelated?
>>139405345
Psssh, sorry kid, but I don't work on anybody elses orders. I am my own master, and you are nothing more than a pawn for me to use. I'll exploit your emotions, like the foolish human you are, and take whatever I need from you by force. And nobody has the power to stop me.
>>139405392
If you are you should know, our powers only activate through rape. We become defenseless when we try to protect someone, especially our granddaughters.
>>139402869
I'm not a practicing Christian anymore but if I ever came across a demon, I'd be running to the nearest church. I don't care how cute it is.
>>139405364
why is that woman's face so shiny
>>139402869
I would tap on the glass right below her butt and watch her squirm uncomfortably.
>>139405432
You could just let her do her own shit around the house. I mean, she does have wings. She'll manage
>>139405432
I think doll houses are too small for her. You could barely fit a hand in one of those rooms and she's much larger than a hand, judging by the inages of her.
>>139405249
>tfw your soul is probably irrecoverably stained & worthless from all the loli porn
>>139405432
>buy this fancy ass doll house for thousands of dollars
>didn't think to measure it, and it turns out to be a few inches too small for the imp
>the only way she can fit in the rooms is by stooping
Almost as bad as the gubmint murdering you for your imp waifu to be honest.
>>139402869
Rescue the little demonlet and be nice to her.
>>139405514
Loli is not against christian values. If anything, it would be stained by trap porn
>>139405440
I don't think you quite understand. I can bench 110kg for 5 and deadlift 220kg for 5. I have passed a point where my mind and body don't even register weights less than 20kg. In my world objects less than 20kg don't exist.
I am getting stronger and stronger every time I hit the gym. I am starting to fear my own strength.
>>139405548
>Haven't jerked it to loli porn
>Have jerked it to trap porn
I'm going to hell.Oh wait, I'm already here.
>>139405567
I wish I was as cool as you.
>>139405567
Alright it was funny, it is now becoming stupid. Please end soon.
>>139405514
Convert to Islam
>>139405388
/a/non bringing in the heat
>>139405584
>>139405625
It's a pasta.
>>139405388
well I bet you kiss girls
faggot
>>139405567
>he can't even bench 300 kg
>he can't DL 450 kg
DYEL, go back to Gaia or some shit.
>>139405636
Dont you have a pig to fuck?
>>139405577
Thanks for reminding me, anon.
>>139405432
>Not building her a town
>Not letting her play godzilla
>Not charging for admission
You must think big for your imp
>>139405567
Heh, you're an amusing one. You just don't get it. It doesn't matter how strong you are, brute force is nothing compared to the razor sharp cunning of one who has rid themselves of all emotions. I see the strings that control the world, and I can pull and pluck them however I see fit. Work your muscles like an ape all you want, so long as you are bound by the weakness of emotions, you can never defeat me.
>>139403284
IQDB April Fools? Nice.
>>139405689
For a town that size she wouldn't really be Godzilla, she'd just be a particularly large ogre. Way too big to really use anything, but far too small to cause significant, overpowering damage. I feel like it would almost be more cruel than her just being always tiny.
>>139405466
Because she doesn't respect herself enough to clean it properly.
>>139405747
What's that thing dangling from her vagina?
>>139405723
Honestly, a petting zoo enviroment might be best for her.
Let her in the box,
mostlikely it's a corpse anyways.
Or oxygen is for noobs.
anyways I wonder if she needs food/air
>>139404707
The semen wouldn't be able to give much information unless it was from someone whose DNA profile was uploaded to CODIS (i.e. criminals) and would be hella expensive. And even then you'd need to give them good reason to check it out and prove it wasn't collected illegally.
However, you can order SemenSpy or some similar kit, which contains a test for prostate-specific antigens only found in human semen. This could tell you if it's legitimate semen or some kind of synthetic feeding fluid, which would give info on the nature of the creature (magic vs. science experiment) and tell you whether it's a biohazard. This would also be way cheaper.
>>139404707
>>139404983
If this thing turns out to be supernatural in origin, everything I would know and understand would crumble. And it would be absolutely glorious.
>If, through communication or testing, it turns out to be supernatural in nature, I would immediately take a step back, grab a beer, and reevaluate my entire existence.
>I would consider contacting a local church, but I would then remember that the modern American church is just a big joke and they would be the least qualified group to talk to.
>Who the fuck would I even go to about this.
What happens from here completely depends on the personality of the subject.
Friendly
>I would try to befriend the creature/imp/female-of-an-unknown-species and get as much information as I could without stressing her out. This would be happening from four different cameras while I took plenty of notes.
>Copy the fuck out of my notes and recordings. Bury/hide them just as I did with the flash drives.
>Would do what I could to accommodate the subject. Do the absolute best I could to keep it/her cooperative.
>At this point people must know. SLOWLY.
>A lab. If she were cooperative, I would try to take her to a controlled scientific establishment. A university or something, but nothing government so they won't try to confiscate the subject right away.
>Basically I would just try to introduce the supernatural to a scientific environment so it can be recorded and observed. A bunch of college students and professors would go ape shit over this and I could trust to some extent.
>Would immediately wonder if I fucked up just now by showing them this. It's fine. It's FINE.
Malicious
>Well, at this point I would realize that I fucked up. But at least I know. THIS SHIT IS REAL. That makes whatever is about to happen okay. Or so I will tell myself.
>Try to contain the subject as best I could.
>Read: Poorly.
>If I end up possessed, this whole thing is no longer my problem. Hopefully a hero will stop me.
>>139405689
>not watching anime in your bed all day on a cold winter's morning with your imp waifu laying down on your chest, feeling her ever little warm body move up and down as you breath in and out
Do you even cozy?
>>139405796
Is it perhaps, dripping?
>>139405796
Sweat with a speech bubble.
>>139405829
I mean honestly, that would be worth more to you than say $50 million dollars?
>>139402954
>unfuckably
You seriously lack imagination.
>>139405856
Yes. I can't wait until tiny robot girls are made.
>>139405829
>all that medication
For autism I would assume
>>139405860
Not real penetrative sex. Might as well just jerk off.
>>139405856
That is a lot of money
>will never had a cute fairy to help in the kitchen
>>139405796
She's doing her kegel exercises
>>139405829
Hey I've seen this room before.
>>139405856
With $50 million dollars, I would just buy all of the same shit just better.
>>139405856
Why do you keep assuming anyone with that kind of money won't just take it by force?
Or you know, the government just swoops in and takes it and you.
>>139405829
I've never noticed this before but why the fuck do they have tile flooring in a bedroom? Also, that picture above the bed is a bit tacky.
Other than that, very nice.
>>139405883
>Not real penetrative sex. Might as well just jerk off.
Are not aware that minigirls are flexible enough to accommodate the glans?
>>139405876
I hope if mini robot girls are made they dont cost 50 million dollars.
>>139405888
I feel like a never before seen demon creature would feych at LEAST that muvh, if not more.
>>139405829
What a autistic cavern
Is it for sure semen? How do we know it's not milk to preserve her like you would a tooth until you can get to the dentist to put it back in you?
>>139405914
Media protection. Plus protection from their rivals who would also want it. No, i think i would be able to find an auction house that all the richest men in the world would come to. Probably some saudi prince would end up owning her.
>>139405829
That would be a level of comfy I couldn't comprehend. All i can imagine is dozing off into a tranquil like slumberand rolling over
>>139405920
This, it is a known fact that minigirls share the same properties as bags of holding.
>>139405949
>How do we know it's not milk to preserve her like you would a tooth until you can get to the dentist to put it back in you?
>>139405949
what
>>139402869
My very own 'Grow Your Own Succubus' neat. Probably open it and see what her needs are.
>>139405883
Well I just say you're foolishly optimistic, and overestimate the kindness of extremely rich powerful people who deal in underground auctions.
But whatever, this is all just hypothetical.
>>139405949
>How do we know it's not milk to preserve her like you would a tooth until you can get to the dentist to put it back in you?
People do this?
I've never lost a tooth before,please no bully.
>>139406037
I dont think its a kindness thing. I think its a gates wants it, so does buffet, so instead of going to war over her, they sit down at an auction and bid it out. I think their rivalry will keep me in posession, not their kidness.
>>139405949
Use the testing method I described >>139405819
I'd do everything that was done in the image set and more.
>>139406065
Me neither but I heard you're supposed to do it to keep the tooth preserved until the dentist can put it back into your mouth.
Succubi need calcium and proteins too
>>139405822
While most protestant American churches are jokes, your old school Catholic churches are probably good on this kind of supernatural shit, so I would hit that up. I am sure the priest there knows people who know people in the church that could help you out. It's what I would do at least.
I'd be REALLY careful even if the imp thing was being friendly though. In a lot of old school lore, some of the worst monsters took advantage of people by pantomiming a friendly existence just enough to gain the victim's trust. Just because she teehees, calls you "master" and is generally adorable doesn't mean she isn't going to rape and eat your soul the second she gets the chance. I would honestly be more wary of friendliness then I would of outright hostility, just because of the chance to get fucked over.
Also be careful to hide yourself when you're doing your science. No need to end up waterboarded by some CIA goon over this.
semen demon what is your wisdom.
Fuck croatia
and so we went to war
>>139403994
>contact catholic priest
>he thanks you and offers to take her
>you hand him the bottle
>demon girl tearfully looks at you and screams 'anon!' while beating on the glass
>catholic priest smiles and says the demons use sympathy to lure the hearts of men
>you go back into your home as he leaves
>you're thankful you didn't fall for the demon's tricks
>hours later in a worn down church
>the priest holds the bottle and releases the demon girl
>ties rope around her neck and restrains her
>takes off his clothes and makes her start sucking his cock
>she's crying and asks him to let her go
>he beats her until she complies
>other priests surround them and wait their turn
>cries of other demon girls are heard from nearby rooms
>>139405856
You can't buy that anon. She's one of a kind. I mean I'm dirt poor right now but pretty happy, imp waifu would just be icing on the cake.
>>139406154
I guess. But i would take the money without a moments hesitation.
>>139403994
I've thought about it a little more and it occurred to me the fact that she's in a bottle could mean she's some sort of djinn, in islamic folklore their equivalent of demons are a subclass of jinn who follow their analog of satan who in his pride abused his free will and to defy Allah. However they are all possed of free will and were created alongsodr man and as such there are also good ones who bear more similarities to a less devious version of the fairies of the seelie court than western demons.
There is the possibility that treating her right could have you ending up with her as your familiar and you gaining magic powers which would be a pretty good end.
>>139402869
Shake it first to see if it moves. If it does I'd probably just question how it hasn't died yet from a lack of oxygen. If it looks like the thing isn't gonna rip out my jugular the second I let it out I'd probably free it and care for it while keeping it a secret from everyone.
>>139404101
God that brings back memories.
>>139406147
I'm crying from both my tear ducts and the tip of my penis
>>139406147
Why would you do that?
>>139406129
Really wouldnt trust the catholic church. Not sure who i would trust, since i only believe in a vague spirtuality. Probably take a risk myslef, and works comes to worst, she kills me. I dont think she would actually be able to take my soul.
>>139406147
Damn it anon.
Boil her a bowl of quail eggs.
>>139406196
Its magic. It doesnt need to breathe. And i wouldnt use logic in deciding to open the bottle up. Demons can be very trixy
>>139405883
>Not real penetrative sex Might as well just jerk off.
You realize you aren't penetrating your hand either right? Her arms wrapped around your dick would basically be like 2-finger masturbating, except you're not doing it to yourself for a change. Not to mention she'd be in prime position to lick every nook and cranny of your head while hugging your shaft like a tree trunk.
>>139406147
Nice try, demon shill
You're not getting me with your lies
>>139403781
Is the bible trolling to get people haunted by weegee board demons (I know how it's spelled, I just refuse to invoke the bad juju.)
>>139406292
That was my point. She is basically doing the same thing as if i was to masturbate. And i dont know how something that size licking my dick would even feel. Would i even feel her tongue?
>>139406245
Would you make her eat all of the eggs?
>>139406147
Now I really want to find and join my local seminary, thanks anon.
>>139406147
what the fuck bro
>>139406235
>Really wouldnt trust the catholic church
Why not? I'm a staunch atheist myself, but if supernatural shit turned out to be real then there's no way you were the first person to come across that kind of shit in the past couple of millenia. Considering that the Catholic Church is one of the largest and oldest religious organizations in the West, there would be no doubt they would have policies in place for dealing with demons, imps, and fairies that interfered with modern life. At the very least you could maybe get some tentative counseling on how to handle things responsibly, even if you didn't bring the imp girl in right away. I'm not saying they would necessarily be good people, but I value my life and at the very least you could ditch the jar at the church and leave town before the Church's kill squad comes to silence you.
>>139402869
use it as bait to catch a bigger demon and fuck that one
>>139402869
Call the cops.
>>139406315
Don't be ridiculous demon girls would never try to fool you anon.
>>139406361
Well first off, they would likely be extremely biased because of the role demons play in their religion.
Second... well im tired and if you want more ill think of more but mainly that. I would probably seek out a religion a little less biased towards demons like buddhists or idk, go meet some shamans or shit.
>>139406129
> No need to end up waterboarded by some CIA goon over this.
Secrecy at this point is a given. Assuming all goes well, not getting myself killed while leaking information would be the most difficult part about any of this. People joke about secret society shit all the time, but the last thing I would need is some real life Kirei showing up and taking my head off.
>>139406465
>wanting a large sum of money over some doll that can talk makes me a jew.
>>139402869
Drop it on the ground after looking it at, run inside, cry and shitpost on /pol/ and /x/.
>>139405919
tiled bedrooms aren't really that weird. Easy to maintain and you can get creative with it as well. No that much different in feel than hardwood until you get textured tiles.
>>139406509
Is /x/ still alive? I thought the last post was in like 2012
>>139406383
I like this idea.
I WANNA FUCK A FAIRY
Genuinely? Freak the hell out and worry I've gone insane, or think I'm being tricked.
Ideally? Release her and keep her with me like a pet/masturbation toy. Not cruel in any way though, I'd get her cute little outfits to wear, and feed her little bits of sweets, and set up her own little room with tiny furniture, and pet her and cuddle her.
>>139406498
It does
>>139403092
4chan now have actual upboats
ebin
>>139406516
I have never heard of such a thing.>>139406545
>>139406548
>4chan
4chanX*
>>139406545
If i want companionship i can get a dog. If i want a daughter i can make or adopt one. If i want sex i can hire a hooker. I cant see why i would want this little rat with rings over money for anything but the novelty factor.
>>139406548
is that what that japanese text next to some posts is?
I really hope that's just an april fools prank
>>139406609
>wings
>>139406609
Because this has all of those things in one for free.
>>139406147
Why does this do things to both my dick and my heart?
>please anon! I will be a good girl, dont let them take me!
>>139406469
Well, yeah, but we aren't even sure if she's a demon. She might be a fairy, or a spirit, or something else entirely, which is why I feel like a consultation would be helpful.
Nah, you don't have to respond, I'm must finding it fun to talk about this beyond "make her suck my cock so it looks big next to her".
Buddhists would be good, but the nearest temple I know of it eight hours away so it's kind of hard to get to. That might be better if you have doubts on her malevolence though.
>>139406486
Honestly, true anonymity against the most powerful government on Earth would be hard to achieve. It may not give much of a shit about child molesters and murderers that post videos online, but you threaten to destabilize the fabric of the nation with your demon/fairy girl, so they will do their damndest to get to you. Yeah, maybe they won't kill you, and they may already have diplomatic relations with the demons, fairies, and angels, but they won't want you blowing the lid on it to the general public.
The hardest part of that whole plan would be maintaining secrecy, but assuming you can do that somehow then you're fucking golden. You can probably finagle your way into a demon fairy waifu and lots of gold or some shit.
>>139406520
/x/ is full of people who have tons of questions and the only ones with answers are the ones wearing tinfoil hats. Sometimes you will have an actual thread with intelligent conversation but those are few and far between. You can conclude most threads with:
>ded thread
or
>Trying to summon a demon is a bad idea and I don't even believe in that shit.
>>139406609
Of course you can't see it. The Jew's companionship is the shekel.
>>139406667
But you can yave all that + more with the kind of money you would get for her. Novelty is for the rich anon. We have to settle for more common pleasures.
>>139406610
Of course it's a prank retard
>>139405567Nice copypasta
>>139406383
how would that work?
other demon girls probably wouldn't even give a shit.
you'll only attract her angry big sister or maybe a pissed off demon mom and then your ass is done for.
>>139406609
>I can make or adopt one
Sure you can anon.
>>139406520
/x/ is still kicking (sadly)
It's full of people who genuinely believe they can cast magic and shit. But if you ask them to prove it they say you can't see or feel its effects unless you already believe in magic.
In my opinion they're the dumbest board on the site, but they don't really bother anybody so they don't get any flack.
>>139406692
I cant help but respond. I genuinely cant imagine the church would label her as anything but a demon. The judeo christiam religions dont typically take kindly to supernatural creatures, except angels, and she really doesnt look like an angel. Besides, i guess i would just want to avoid any major organization. Its true buddhists report to higher groups, but they typically function on their own.
>>139406776
If there's a will, there's a way.
I'm going to try to fuck that demon milf and mindbreak her, make her my slave andcuddle her.
>>139406804
Well of course. With the kind of money i would get from selling her, what would be stopping me? Even my autistic ass would be able to get a girl with that kind of dough. It would be silly to think otherwise.
>>139406820
Yeah, you're probably right. Maybe the Catholic Church should be a Plan B, and you should start with a Buddhist temple first just to try and play things right. Thanks man, if we ever find an imp in a jar of cum in our mailbox, I think we're both prepared.
>>139402869
If she can talk or we learn to speak the language keep her. If she loves me or has powers keep her. Otherwise I would probably just go public with it.
/a/ somehow turned a picture of a small succubus in a jar of semen into a somewhat intelligent conversation.
I'll take it.
>>139402869
Hope it's as stretchy as fairies usually are, because if she isn't then it might hurt a bit.
>>139402869
Raise it!
>>139402869
Make a molotov cocktail from it
>>139407244
must be one of those days huh?
>>139406735
I'm already rich and have nothing to do with my money. I'll take the demon girl to make my life more interesting.
>>139411856
>Joseph Bush
so it begins
>>139411960
Checking mine.
>>139402869
Open it, carefully take her out, clean her. If she freaks out or starts bawling, I'd try to calm her down.
It's not like I have any reason to do anything else.
>>139417405
You sound like you have ulterior motives, but you won't fool these eyes of mine.
>>139406520
>>139406711
The problem with /X/ is that it's now filled with non-believers or people who just goes there to spite other people or call them lunatics. Like that one guy on /fit/ who gives advice on how to lift and he secretly still hadn't lifted in his entire life.
>Genitalia is covered
What are you people going to do if it's a boy?
>>139402869
Cearly the Lolibus is unconfortable with other mens semen.
Take her out of her Protein Prison and raise her to be a respactable Lady of Society.
And then get raped by her in the middle of the night because she fell in love with me.
>>139402869
drink
>>139420574
>get raped by her
Literally how?
She's like 4 inches tall.
>>139420757
The smaller and lolier they are the stronger their Succubus powers are.
>>139402869
Clean her
Raise her like a daughterHave non-blood related loving incest relationship
>>139403092
10/10
I bet that's where all the semen in the bottle come from
>>139421184
That's not possible. That's like having a twin-step sister.
>>139402869
That's not the Captain Falcon amiibo I ordered. Send it back to Amazon.
MMMMMmmmmm
>>139423456
Bobby my dad was standing right behind me, how am I gonna explain this?
Try to communicate without opening the jar.
>>139423456
Where is her ass?
>>139403994
You think to much just fuck it
>>139402869
Go to church and have the priest send it back to hell where it belongs
>>139404128
>cut holes in a sock or something
Now I'm just imagining her happy as hell with her little sock dress. Demon daughteru.
>>139423952
Unzip your dick
>>139402869
Sell it on the black market and get profit.
>>139402869
Incinerate it.
The last time I saw a monster-loli getting adopted was in Wasurenagumo and we all know how happily ever after it ended.
>>139424555
Best girl won, I don't see any problems.
Also nice trips.
>>139423456
Oh fuck I feel so sorry for her
>>139424762
I'd much prefer it if the best girl in question doesn't turn my brain functions into that of a vegetable, Farmer-san.
Fucking xeno filth.
>>139405829
>All that money spent
>Still sleeps in a single bed
Pleb
>>139425098
The room doesn't seem big enough for a larger bed. He'd have to get a bigger TV as well or it would look retarded.
Continue with the job, and fill the jar with mi cum
>ib4 girl name so I can't eyaculate
>>139425389
You can if you have a feminine penis
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HNLPXzlz6-I
>>139403965
well, there are only some pages with it, but I think this fits your description:
https://hitomi.la/galleries/562037.html
>>139402869
Isn't that Sub-Niggurath from that manga everyone was sperging out about yesterday?
Just in case, I'd LEMURIA IMPACTOOO!
I'm probably suicidal enough to open it. I mean what's the worst that could happen?
>>139402869
id try to stick my dick in it and add to the contents before promptly leaving it at someone else's doorstep
>>139429824
She grows a giant penis and uses demon magic to rape you?
Oh you said worst thing.
>>139423456
She's actually of a decent enough size. Huh.
>>139431163
> Oh you said worst thing.
You bastard now I have nothing to reply.
>>139404512
>obviously supernatural being
>MY KNOWLEDGE OF THE WORLD ASSURES MY VICTORY
>>139402869
Take video and try to talk to it. If everything goes well use her to jerk me off instead of my hands
