Bring out your creative side and give me some glouriously terrible anime related puns and jokes.
What do they call a prostitute who works at Key?
A Charlotte.
Once I tried writing a script for Key, it didn't really follow the story so they declined it because it wasn't Kanon.
A being from heaven came down to Earth. It was then that I knew Steve Jobs went to heaven because her headphones was Angel Beats.
I once played basketball with someone who works in Key. He was terrible at shooting, got nothing but Air.
What did people say after Holo gained control of Laputa?
"Oh look its Howl's Moving Castle."
What is Erens favorite movie?
Remember the Titans.
Nobody else got anything? Am I just talking to air?
How fast is this thread moving?
5 Centimers per Second
What would the anime be if Kaiji was with Holo?
Dice and Wolf
What anime do Mexicans watch on Día de los Muertos?
Death Parade
A sex addict goes into thereapy and talks to the receptionist.
She says, "What's your addiction?"
The man says, "I'm an xxxHolic."
How does Ginko answer his cellphone?mushi-mushi
>>134631049
There we go, let's get some more.
A dwarf walks into a bar and starts drinking heavily. He soon got drunk and starts a harsh diatribe about how some selfish bastard betrayed him. At the end of his tell he yells out, "And that's why I hate all the elves!"
Some newcomber who just heard the last line asks what's going on.
A patrion whispered to him, "The dwarf is upset because some Elfen Lied."
Sadly this is one of the best threads on the entire board right now.
Please continue.
>>134632452
Doing the best I can to think them up.
A trader is Africa set up shop to display all his wares. He had a wide array of various musical instruments. A customer walks up and starts looking at the drums.
The trader says, "This is s great piece, made from the hide of a gazelle. This one with a deep bass is made from a elephant."
The customer asks, "How come that ones so expensive?"
The trader replies, "O that's because its a Penguindrum."
>>134632909
Trader *in
>>134631216
Mobile Suit Gundam
>>134631216
classy
*higu......higu....higu......*
I heard the noise while I was walking through the corridor.
"What the hell is that?"
"Oh that is just Rashi," my friend replied, "he always makes that noise When He Cries."
What did Conan say after he finished Death Note?
"Case Closed"
The pope has a long history giving small statuettes to his favorite clergyman. After a particularly rich year he gave all his favorites Golden Boy.
An avid dog lover tries to start a new business. She wanted a place where she would train dogs new tricks and cater them.
Her husband asks, "So what are you going to call it?"
She replies, "Well I want to limit it only to small breed. So how about Little Bitch Academia."
"A lot of shit went down at the music hall last night."
"How do you know that?"
"Seems like there was a full Metal panic."
Wow fucking 4chan keeps marking this post as spam. Trying to work around.
>The investigators broke through the door.
There was a foul smell in the air. All around there were figu..rines and pos0ters of anime relllater [merc] [handise]. It seemed that most of them were of the character Ichig0. And there they found her, dead, rotting, right in front of the T.V.
>Later on they released a porice report to the pubic.
>"It seems Amandoo Tudd passed away after consuming too much Bleach."
>>134634785
Nice
>>134634785
>An avid dog lover tries to start a new business. She wanted a place where she would train dogs new tricks and cater them.
>
>Her husband asks, "So what are you going to call it?"
>
>She replies, ""Nina"
FTFY
Heres some anime titles as porn.
Sword in the Stranger
Code Ass: Ledouch of Assellion
Big-Dick Man
Howling Bondage Castle
Kids on the Pole[Sakamichi no Apollon]
Angel Beating
Black Dickoon: The Second Barrage
Slam Spunk
Golden Shower Boy
im very happy with this thread op
nice, clean, and classy. 10/10 would show to my mother
>>134636356
>Slam Spunk
I laughed
>>134629372
Hey come on now you know Tomoya has a bad shoulder.
Dango being so hard on him.
>>134636356
Poke em on
Fate/Stay Tonight
Amacumi
The Big D
MATE and thus jsdf fucked there
I tried.
Why did Kotomi keep scratching her face?
She had anIchinose
What do you call a group of bad, blindfolded actors?
>>134637085
Forgot to post answer, sorry.
Mekakushitty Actors
>>134636841
You did good. Keep em coming.
Baka and Test: Summon the Bitches
Bunny Ranch Drop
AfterSchool Rumble
Assumanga Diaoh
Gimp Suit Gundam
>>134637137
that's hardly a pun as it is a synopsis
What happened in the operating room when the patient bled out?
A vivid red operation.
>>134629950
His favorite game?
Titanfall.
The Texan raced into the military compound at Santa Fe. His breath run ragged, his face white with death. The soldiers jumped to their feet, they knew that the news was not going to be good. California was lost, and the spread of the enemy was quick. The sergeant hushed the camp and went to the messenger.
"Boy, tell me what happened, what news of the front?"
The Texan gulped down a few more breaths to stead his voice.
"Utaw are runova"
>>134631216
Took me a minute.
>>134637808
>>134637808
I don't even fucking know, anon.
>>134638301
I tried anon.
Supposed to be a pun on
Utawarerumono.
Utah has been run over [by the enemy].
>>134637152
FuckaDoll
Nichihoes
5 inches a second
K return of Kocks
Guilty Dawn
Full Rektal Asschemist: Sisterhood
Initial D
What did the author Robico call baby Hitler?
My Little Monster.
>>134638596
No I got it right away, but it's a bit of a stretch.not like I've got anything better atm
What does the Devil do in the shower?he Hellsings
where do gangstas put their laundry?in yo washa
>>134638975
Yeah I have been scraping the bottom of the barrel.
But anyways, OP here, I am going to call it a night after this. If the thread is still up in the morning I'll come up with a few more. But first, one more.
Batman crawled through the sewers. He was on his way to Jokers hideout. That bastard; he captured the mayor's daughter. There was no telling what vile things could be happening to her.
Alfred phoned in Batman, "You'll be coming up to the compound soon. The tunnel leads to a discontinued outhouse. When it rains, the groundwater flows through the tunnel to the sewers. It's a bit messy, but you should have a straight shot to the backdoor with some cover."
Batman reached the end of the tunnel. There was filth on the ground, but there was no running from Justice.
That was when he heard it. A chuckling laugh that could only come from one source.
There he saw it. Light from above, some hair, a crack, and.....it. Log Horizon.
>>134639385
Actually got me.
What's the title of Senjougahara's most hated anime?
Ghost in the shell.
I heard Hibiki has gotten really sex-crazed lately. Apparently, she even bought a gimp suit!
She calls it her Nymphogear.i tried
>>134629147
REMOVE KYUBAB
I'm so glad us miners are finally getting an anime we can relate to! Ore Monogatari looks great!
>>134640230
Don't you remember Ore no Imouto?
I was hoping it was gonna be about a mining family with a cute coalmining imouto.
>>134640230
>>134640289
Nice tastes.
Both of these shows rock.
>>134639225
I kek'd
>>134640312
Stuuuuuuuuuupid.
But i laughed
>>134639773
notbad
I still kept my entire collection of action figures from my childhood, until the day my house burned down. I cried as Plastic Memories ended.
>>134636613
I know that I should stop making Tomoya feel bad but I just can't give him the cold shoulder.
How has nobody posted this yet?
I think Guts should've just date Casca and give his hand a rest.
So I introduced my younger cousin to Evangelion. It might seem weird to do that considering the subject matter but she seemed to really like it. She really likes to draw though she's super self conscious about her skills and always tries to hide her drawings whenever I visit. Seeing all the cool designs of the characters, Units and Angels in Evangelion really motivated her to draw more, and she started making art of all her favorite characters, even though she still tries to cover them up whenever I'm around. I watched the Rebuilds with her just last month and she absolutely loved all the new characters and changes (yeah, I know, but she's young). She's been drawing the characters from 2.0 and 3.0 pretty much non-stop ever since apparently. So I dropped by to see what they were like, and found her in her room working on a brand new drawing of one of the Eva cast. As soon as she realised I was able to see what she was drawing she squealed andhid a Mari sketch.
>>134640777
This is a thread for jokes, anon, not horror stories.
>>134640777
condense that shit
![[Hatsuyuki]_Fate_stay_night_-_Unlimited_Blade_Works_-_03_[10bit][1280x720][8BCBECC3].mkv_snapshot_13.03_[2014.11.03_19.02.44].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/patebEZ.jpg "[Hatsuyuki]_Fate_stay_night_-_Unlimited_Blade_Works_-_03_[10bit][1280x720][8BCBECC3].mkv_snapshot_13.03_[2014.11.03_19.02.44].jpg")
>>134640777
I had a big laff
Why is this necrophiliac faggot so mad about his silly chinese games? I've just seen him throwing his corpse party.
In anime, the sounds animals make is nothing like reality:
cats go nyaa
frogs go gero
dogs goEd...ward
I really don't mind anything about my appearance besides my ugly face. It's a standalone complex.
>>134640880
Wrong. Make it longer.
