![DrunkKnght[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/CJGym9L.jpg "DrunkKnght[1].jpg")
Fellow crusaders of law and justice, I send my worries to you of other realms via the magical medium of Tidgei, for I am sorely in need of your advice.
Know that I am Sir George Dulac, Knight of the Realm, Servant of the Sacred Spirit of the Unicorn, Defender of the Innocent. The heavens in my world have undergone an upheaval, as a civil war has broken out amongst the Celestial host, bereft of the direct leadership of the Most High Gzyavriha, whose attentions have been drawn to other crises in the rest of the multiverse. Into this power vaccume has stepped the Arch-Angel Mikaya, who by rights should be in the service of our benevolent and merciful God. It is said Mikaya was himself once an outsider entity, an interloper who was overcome and forced into submission by Gzyavriha, and tasked with protecting and preserving the world. But in Gzyavriha's absence he has determined the best means to preserve our world is to cull it of all wickedness by decimating the population, and making a ruin of all industry and civilization to force us back to a more basic and 'pure' era.
My knighthood makes war upon these errant angels who invade our realm upon the ebb and flow of the tides of magic, borrowing the power of the native magical beings of our realm to defend ourselves (as I mentioned before, I am of The Unicorn - purity of the utmost). My concern is not, as you might think, an ethical debate upon whether or not a Paladin should fight the forces of heaven, even if they are acting in contraposition to the understood dictates of my faith; for I know as a Paladin my duty is to good and justice above all else and that Mikaya's genocidal methods cannot be accepted as righteous, and we must somehow withstand and stop his invasion.
No, my distress rather concerns a Maiden. Magdalene.
![Sad_0d9544_2373495[1].gif](https://i.imgur.com/8lZkOV2.gif "Sad_0d9544_2373495[1].gif")
>>43558246
Magdalene you see is an angelic being herself, and the last to be allied with the forces of mortals. Previously an agent (and possibly lover, or at least admirer of) of Gzyavirha's herald, she has been forced into exile among our kind with the Heavens in upheaval, and the Herald himself destroyed by Mikaya.
Even now Mikaya hunts for her, offering to spare many millions of lives if only we turn her over. Of course for honors sake we refuse. To me this was never in question, and I was very moved when my companions agreed. Magdalene herself was once a mortal, who ascended long ago, and now down amongst mortals once more she has been reacclimating herself to life this side of the celestial divide. I have observed her, and her love of music and of peace, the gentle manner in which she speaks and settles disputes, the grace of her demeanor and her striking visual appearance, and I admit I may have become a bit smitten. I have pledged myself as her protector while she is vulnerable, and thus far she has survived two assassination attempts - though I myself confess I cannot take credit for this, as one took place while I was away and another was a direct magical attack by Mikaya himself, who has yet to even be seen by mortal eyes.
As she recovers from her attack, her health in poor orders and our healers attending her, I made for her a get-well present. Music commissioned from the bard, sealed magically to a device to listen to at her leisure, and a book of popular artworks that have been created since last she walked the earth. I gave her these gifts and we spoke a bit, she confessed her fears to me - fears of Mikaya, that she had failed in her divine mission, and fears that she was not even doing the right thing (as her role was meant to be an observer)
>>43558322
I did what I could to assuage her fears, assuring her that she was safe in the keeping of my comrades, and that we would help her and even face the Archangel's fury for her. She thanked me and told me I was very brave, and wishing to be humble I confessed I had fears like any man. I simply placed my belief in doing what was right above all else. I also apologized to her for being thus far, unable to protect her properly.
She smiled and said, "Well... I am here to protect YOU... my friend."
Tidgei, hath I just been friend-zoned?
![demons-souls-sad-knight-2[1].jpg_394dcb.jpg](https://i.imgur.com/JlUEwHU.jpg "demons-souls-sad-knight-2[1].jpg_394dcb.jpg")
>>43558334
>>43558334
Did your contingency dominate spell fail?
>>43558246
>>43558322
Hath thou considered
Bequeathing her the phallus?
>>43558572
1. She's an outsider and I do not think such a spell would work on her
2. Wizards get out reeeeeeee
>>43558588
Verily I have, that is the point
>>43558246
>>43558322
>>43558334
Shitposting at its finest.
Good job.
>>43558246
Serves thee right Dulac!
Thou shant be happy to know that i escaped mine prison and even now, maketh for the blade thou hath so desperately hideth from me.
I laugh haughtily at thine misfortunes with the fairer sex, of which I hath laid amongst for a week and a fortnight, wherein thy childhood friend Alexis was amongst mine Harem.
Not to be outdone, I hath taken upon mine vile self to pilfer every left sock from thy court! Nary a nobleman will haveth a full pair ever again!
Findeth me if thine tongue is naught around another's anus! There we shall meeteth againe for the last time Dulac!
Thy Mortal Nemesis,
Sir Valnir, the Antipaladin
Tyrone the black knight here, nigga, you said you were of the pure niggas and yall don't have time for bitches anyway when you be saving the world, you feel me? It's not friend zone mang, it's let's not get romance involved until that Mike nigga gets got you know.
>>43558644
Tyrone, perhaps you have a point. It is uncouth to think of such matters at a time like this.
>>43558635
Goddamnit Valnir, not now
>>43558664
Using thy Great Patron's name in vain?
Hardly fit for a knight O so great as thyself!
Ha Ha Ha!
Methinks I shall maketh a new cloak with all these glorious stolen socks!
Then I shall go to thy mother's grave, and commiteth the vilest deed of allMinor Vandalism!
Hahahahahahaha!
Perhaps the fair maiden mistakes thy affections and gifts for mere acts of kindness?
Show her that thou truly loves her dear. A great feat of strength hath always worked for myself.
Sir Baldric of the Bear
>>43558635
See, this is why we don't invite you to parties, man. That shit is just *hurtful*.
>>43559639
Good, it means I am doing my dark job .
Now I shall drink mine cold wine, without a coaster.
Impetuous and foolhardy mortal!
Magdalene was as my sister, afore she turned from the just and true ways of the great Archangel. You may have her flesh for all I care; your despicable lusts turn my stomach no less than your ignorance of the Glorious Hegemony with which His Glory MIKAYA will cover the land and encompass heavens!
Your death and Magdalenes will be undignified and mean, and the very seal of your 'Unicorn' shall be sundered and forgotten!
>>43561519
Whoa, angel boy, chill out. It's not like, you wanna bang your sister or something. I know I wanna bang mine and it's ain't pretty when ur ma just like "Billy Bob git yer hand off yer sistah!" and then beating you with a barstool. Man, it's just killin a mood.
And you Unciorn man, I think you are fag and un-American. First freedum, then bitches, that's muh Pa always say.
>>43561519
Yo nigga, if she's yo family you gotta stick by that. If you don't stick up for yo sister, ain't no one gonna be standing with you, ya feel me?
>>43561842
You disgust me.
>>43561957
We are not blood as mortals are, for we were both mortals elevated by Gzyavriha in eras long distant, I afore she... but I confess there may be truth in your words. I have been too hasty to destroy her, for our friendship these centuries past has been precious to me.
Clearly, the blame of Magdalene's deception lays the more heavily on this heathen Dulac! I must make haste to tell my Commander MIKAYA that Magdalene may be recaptured and turned once more to our side if we but destroy OP. May the Culling of MIKAYA find you worthy of life in the Glorious Hegemony, Sir Tyrone.
>>43562603
A persistent one aren't thou?
But it matters not, thou art weak and pitiful, choosing to sulk rather to act and rescue thy 'devout' sister.
Now, leave this place Cherubim, lest I march upon thy sacred resting place andleave thine refrigerator open!As I feast upon thy hidden delicacies.
