Quick! You have less than ten seconds to come up with an answer for each of these before your players start assembling dice towers out of boredom!
>the half-orc bartender's name
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
You're going to have to just run with whatever first comes to mind, so don't hesitate!
>Cudge, he takes after his Orc side
>Frogs
>His wife cheats
>Wand of Vanish
>People are abusing the free healing and not taking care of themselves properly.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Bubbles.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
It's always sunny in Philadelphia.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He once snuck off the job to buy his daughter a birthday gift.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Girdle of Shrinking.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Ennui and boredom.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Sunlight doesn't actually heal people, it's placebo.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Lurg
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Constant rain
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He killed his father to assume the office.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Everburning torch
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
giant bats
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The sun god is dead. The church is desperately trying to cover up until it can find a way to bring Him back to life, hopefully before the sun itself completely fades from the sky.
>>46778641
Shit, I missed the midnight ambush question.
A sudden influx of frogs.
>>46778597
>>46778597
uh, shit!
> Jhonny
> Really rainy weather
> Kink Dungeon
>Invisibility cloak
>Werewolves
>Werewolves
>>46778597
>Wallace
>Purple Rain
>Transvestite
>Potion of Feather fall
>Werewolf
>Their magic is turning agaisnt them and necrotising the flesh of anybody who receives a healing spell.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Halok.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
The rain has been coming from the ground and "falling" up to the sky.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's a drinker.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A small bit of rough paper that, when rolled into a tube functions as a telescope.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A werewolf.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The archbishop of the temple is suffering from severe depression and it's affecting morale.
Idk man, I'm kind of boring.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Dunlo
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Bright pink rain.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He has no idea what a mayor actually is.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Ring of Invisibility.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Aforementioned invisible Bandit.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
It's an eclipse, and they're superstitious as Hell.
>>46778677
>>46778683
>>46778701
The fuck is up with the sudden werewolf epidemic?
>>46778728
It's a werewolf pandemic, dude. There's gonna be werewolves.
>>46778728
I've been playing a lot of Bloodborne recently.
>>46778597
>Barry
>Raining eyeballs
>The village prostitute lives in his basement
>Ring of Invisibility
>Balrog
>Because the priests are literally on fire
My mind is a strange place.
>>46778597
>Jeff. He's a cool dude.
>It's raining men, hallelujah.
>He's a genie in a bottle.
>A hat of Disguise Reasons.
>Gnome assassin-traders. They kill you, then they sell your things.
>They're on a strike after the Alchemist Guild started selling Healing Potions at a 20% discount.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grunk. His father was a bit of a traditionalist, despite being the human of the 2 parents
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Frogs. No ones quite sure why but the local priest is preaching something about pillars going to the sky causing it.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's gay as christmas. Its not that hes ashamed of it, its just his private life and he wants to keep it private.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Elemental Gem (one of the low level ones) that he was saving for a major attack on the local town to make off with the tax money/tribute
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Ghouls and/or Wargs. As in the Viking definition of a Warg
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples
They have been spending too much money on healing related spells and will thus now only be providing major healing, since they had nearly bankrupted themselves.
>>46778597
Okay so his name is Jard.
The town has been experiencing an unusual drought.
Everyone knows that part of the mayor's position is that he has been in pacts with elemental spirits.
The bandit chief had a magical signet ring.
Other bandits attack the party, knowing the location of them due to the magical ring they looted.
Church is refusing to heal anyone because they have lost their ability to cast healing magic; the sun god is metamorphosing into an aspect of wrath and war due to events on the divine plane.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grok
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Rain flowing upwards from the ground
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
"He's" a prostitute on the side
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Necklace of dancing lights, he's afraid of the dark and can't sleep without it
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Bears. Either kind.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Not enough corpses donated since nobody's dying, can't make more mummies to please their god.
>>46778597
>Logan
>Raining fish
>He's gay
>an orb that gives light only to the person who stole it
>bill collectors
>they've changed their stance and believe the sun is going to expand and engulf the world for its sins
>>46778597
>Yingath
>Glowing pink rain, but otherwise it's harmless and drinkable
>he's a cuck (thanks 4chan)
>magic alchemy bomb equal to 600 tons of TNT
>transdimensional specter
>magical healing causes sterility
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Genovine
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Constant low pressure zones causing uneasyness, sweeping fog banks, and random onsets of rain showers, which subside into dense fog.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's sleeping with his secretary, (and so is his wife/husband)
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A transparent stone, shaped like a lens, that can spot cache markers when looked through.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A Yeti
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They don't see the sudden plague of Melanoma as a problem but a sign of the sun gods benevolence.
>>46778759
Can you imagien fi the party found out about that secret?
"Man, I wish this Mayor would reward us more for our services."
"Wow, I wish the mayor would give me his house for free!"
>>46778597
>Grark
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDk6fvkEp2k
>he is a she
>magically 100% accurate watch
>Bogeymen
>The sun god is on vacation
That wasn't that hard, but the last one tripped me up a bit.
>>46778828
>Egyptian sun god
Mah Pharoah
>Derf Sckillerstein
>It's been raining tears, actual salty tears
>He has an affair with his furry/cat-folk secretary despite species differences
>A small lightly chewed button, seems to have belonged to a child
>Giant chimera of a crow and a praying mantis
>The plague everyone's been getting causes rapid mental degradation, the risk of contraction is just toodamnhigh
What the fuck did I even write just now?
>>46778597
Grog Thornbiter
Snow.
Pedophilia.
Amulet of Telepathy.
Fire Elemental that's half-Owlbear.
No healing magic, the eclipse has been going on for months now.
Chuckles
It's raining men. No, really, it's actually pretty horrifying.
The mayor is actually an elf. He just wears a hat all of the time.
The Bandit Chief had a +2 Spear of Stabbing Party Members That Won't Stop Asking Questions, unfortunately he fumbled it.
The rest of the bandits attack, they're pissed that you killed their chief.
The Church of the Sun God is going through a theological schism over the role of the moon in their mythology. It's kind of complicated.
>>46778885
Oh shit I read magical realm not magical item.
In which case
>A suit of leather armor that provides insanely good defense, but its cursed so that the user is forced to dance at all times while wearing it
>>46778597
>Krokker. Saying the name Betty induces rage for some reason.
>Snow cones. No really they're even flavored.
>His "Reclaim his rod of lordly might" quest. He kinda lost it during a bad bet with wizards and REALLY wants it back.
>Bag of Many Badgers (Who will attack the nearest target when let loose, usually the handler)
>Hobos trying to start a cult because 'Cults get shiny stuffs rite? GET'EM JIMBOB!'
>The god of tricks keeps messing with them, anyone healed not only isn't healed but start trying to go off on suicidal quests screaming about jolly cooperation.
Jesus I need to not come up with ideas when sleep deprived.. or do it more often. I might actually use wannabe cultist hobos sometime.
>>46778728
I'm more worried about the invisibility epidemic.
>>46778597
>Grognak
>Dust storms
>He's a closet homosexual
>An enchanted wedding dress
>A Goblin riding a wolf
>They're afraid that letting outsiders in to their temples will cause another solar eclipse
>>46778597
>Alroc
>Red lightning
>His wife is fucking the bartender
>An enchanted flask that turns water into a tepid, mediocre alcoholic wine any time you fill it.
>Vampire
>The head priest and his closest subordinates are now dread cultists to a dark chaotic god
>>46778858
Then it's up to the GM to twist whatever they wished for into something horrible.
So:
>"Man, I wish this Mayor would reward us more for our services."
He does, he gives them TWO whole lots of nothing.
>"Wow, I wish the mayor would give me his house for free!"
They all are imprisoned inside his bottle.
He's a genie, and a politician. What did they expect?
>>46778963
It won't be long before the two intersect. Then we're all fucked.
>>46779013
Invisible Werewolves. You don't need ninjas anymore.
>>46779013
>>46778963
Already been there with worse shit. You haven't done dorf fortress until your first weremammoth, which is basically invisible until it's crushed someones skull, and is probably inside the fort.
But yeah invisible werecreatures are unholy terrors be glad they only exist in fiction for now.
>>46778597
>Quick! You have less than ten seconds to come up with an answer for each of these before your players start assembling dice towers out of boredom!
I ask my players that.
>>46778653
>>46778753
>>46778759
Top tier settings imo
>>46778702
Amnesiac mayor sounds fun
>>46778828
>Bears
;)
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Grognash the Keeper of the Tap
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Snowing in Summer, Heatwave in Winter, etc.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's an alcoholic womanizer.
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Scrying Orb
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Goblins
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples
They are using all their power to prevent a Solar Eclipse that would summon an ancient being of evil..
>>46778597
>Reginald
>Raining literal cats and dogs
>Not actually a person but instead a skeleton
>Aquifer stones
>The bards former lovers
>The people don't have enough money.
>>46778597
>Kragush
>Acid rain
>Gay
>Chef's Knife of Cooking
>Some kind of shadow demon things
>New management
give me shit, but these were brought into existence through panic and force of will. i don't work well under pressure
>the half-orc bartender's name
Juanito, the suave spanish Orc.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
The rain is green. GREEN.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Juanito and the Mayor often disappear into the woods for long hours.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A locket of remembered loved ones. It has an animated portrait of his dead child.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A kender thief who dindu nuffin'.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
To protest the Mayor's degeneracy.
>>46778885
>He has an affair with his furry/cat-folk secretary despite species differences
Can anyone really blame him though?
>>46779136
>It has an animated portrait of his dead child;-;
>>46778753
>Because the priests are literally on fire
my sides
>>46779155
I know I can't. :l
>>46778597
1. Bollus Janowsk
2. It only rains on the streets that run north to south
3. He's a cuck and his wife has been getting rammed by Bollus at his bar the Ramrod
4. An rag that can erase ink
5. a wandering cave troll thats been pushed out of his territory by something bigger
6. Because they develop severe sunburns from brief contact w/ sunlight
>>46778597
Golf.
Cloudy.
Gay.
Girdle of Sex Change.
Self-doubt.
Too cloudy.
Kurg (or any guttural noise will work)
Golf-ball sized meteorites
Caped crusader
Ring for signalling other bandits
Dire Triceratops
Storing up power to charge up an artifact
>>46778597
>Vorg Half-Hand. An axe put an end to his adventuring days, but he can still throw drunks out on their asses.
>Rain of Frogs. Damned wizards, again. They think it's funny, but the smell gets old fast.
>He's having an affair. Wouldn't even be all that notable, except he's pretty old, and she's a landwhale.
>Murlynd's Spoon. An infinite supply of shitty gruel is fairly petty magic, but when you live off the land, it's handy to have a option besides 'steal food from wandering adventurers'.
>Doppleganger. It'll try to take out the guard, then impersonate them to lead the party to their doom.
>There's an eclipse coming, so they won't be able to recharge their spells for a while. For the duration, they're saving their magic for emergencies.
>>46778597
>half-orc name
Lemonhead
>weather
Raining slimes
>mayor's secret
He's a lolicon
>unused item
Ring of teleportation
>nighttime ambush
Some kinda weird shadow creature that is very difficult to see in the dark.
>why no healing
They're saving up their holy power to do a big fancy ritual during an eclipse. The ritual will destroy the moon, cementing the sun god's supremacy over the moon god.
The bartender's name was the hardest part, I think. I can't do names well. 10 seconds is not enough time for a name. Name's are like the LAST part of a character I come up with because I always make them by butchering some aspect of that character. For example, maybe this bartender just wants to be treated fairly by others despite his heritage. He's worked long and hard to finally get this bar. I'd call him "Equitus." Has a somewhat regal sound, indicative of whatever kidnapped princess was his mother & stems from "equal" because that's a value he holds dear. Doing things like this helps me keep NPC names straight by nailing them to core concepts. At the very least, it is better than Lemonhead.
1. Shaargoth
2. purple lightning
3. he is a she ( probably the pictures fault for making me think of that.)
4. a magic hat thats acts as a boomerang
5. sexy goblins
6. plague spreading that will kill the priest.
>>46780309
Almost any name is better than Lemonhead.
>>46778597
>Krog
>Constant blizzards, climate is normally sunny
>He's a vampire
>Ring of Invisibility
>Vampmayor
>Sun god is angry
>>46779077
>Snowing in Summer, Heatwave in Winter, etc.
Sounds like Vermont right now.
I'll keep an out for goblins now.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grunk
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Rain of plague-vomiting frogs
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
BDSM dungeon with halfling dominatrix
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Potion of fire immunity
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Mind flayer juvenile spawn that eat their brains while they sleep
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
His divine powers are running out and they're saving their spells for emergencies
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Krue'mac
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Vividly purple fog at sunset. Seemingly not harmful.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Well known drunkard
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Glass eye that highlights feeling of guilt as an aura around a person when looked through.
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Goat Suckers
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The sun god has died and there won't be a sunrise. The clergy figure they have about nine and a half hours before people start to realize something's wrong.
>>46778597
Groshbar
Rain of frogs
'Secret' Mistress
Bag of holding
Owlbear
Magical plague that absorbs healing energies.
Most of those were pretty shit.
>>46778597
>Brugo, the Bartender
>Town's been having heavy rain lately, unusual, but not odd
>He has two mistresses, an Eleven woman and the local Tavern Wench name Milly
>An Amulet that glows when around magical items, but only weapons for some reason
>A frenzied wolf, why is it rabid?
>The church has run out of basic supplies, and magical healing is to much stress on the Low Level Clerics of the temple.
Dave
raining spiders
cross dressing
chastity belt
slime
their pope is a crook
>>46780877
You've no idea how long it took me to realize the tailor is actually man.
>>46778597
>Half Orc
Grog the Alefiend
>Weather
Raining unsolvable quadratic equations
>Mayor's "Secret"
Even though he's a Dwarf, his Elven interpretive dances are on fucking POINT.
>Bandit Chief's Magical Item
Inexhaustible Billiards Chalk
>Night Attack
Were-Aboleth
>Church of the Sun God
Too many vampires have come seeking atonement and destruction, the ash has gotten EVERYWHERE.
>>46778597
Kevin
A literal shitstorm
He wears his daughters underwear around the house when she's not home.
A ring that sets the wearer's pants on fire if they lie.
An orcish luchador.
They keep coming at night.
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Arg IV.
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Snow. It's a tropical island.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's gay, but doesn't want anyone to know, since gayness is illegal here (he's got a proposal to the town elders to change that, but they're anti-gay).
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A glove of light (it glows in the dark, he had kinda bad eyesight at night).
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Seagulls.
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They're out of powdered sapphire, which they need for the healing poultices and potions. They've got a paladin coming who has their next shipment, but he's not there yet. They feel pretty shitty about it, apologizing to everyone who they must turn away.
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Tordek, Son of Tordek
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
It rained frogs last Tuesday
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He likes the cock
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A Wand of Knock that he uses to bust open chests.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
An Owlbear
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The Sun God is tired of weaklings whining to him for help. He wants people to be more independent and stand on their own two feet. He will only help those that help themselves.
More fun than typical "you have 10 seconds" games.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Rothi
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Strange heat waves under bruised looking clouds and red panes of sheet lightning.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's running supplies for the rebel group that trades drugs in exchange.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A hand mirror that communicates with a wall mirror in the next shire over, where his brother lives.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A mutated aberrant werewolf, the victim of the weird wizard's experiments.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They can't. Their god has been betrayed. He is suffused with rage, so their profile is changing. He's preparing for war against the heretics (which is exactly what the god of lies wanted to happen when he secretly arranged everything).
>>46778597
Grunder!
Cloudy with a chance of goblins!
He cheats on his wife!
Wand of cleaning!
An angry hawk!
Their head-priest has become corrupted!
>>46780649
>Goat suckers
Christ almighty, anon. Dial it back a bit.
>>46781258
It's the players' own fault. There were signs posted.
>>46778597
1) Steve
2) Its been snowing. This is a desert, so thats sorta abnormal.
3) He has no idea how to read. He just has someone else read out loud.
4) A ring that lets lets him see if something has been on fire recently. He got it from a merchant after a mage member of his group said it was magic. He thought it was a good deal. He was wrong.
5) Racoons. No, Dire Racoons. That command regular Racoons.
6) The head priest past recently. His only acolyte closed the doors and claims its a grieving period, but really he has no clerical powers at all and doesn't want anyone to know.
>>46778597
>Grimbad
>Blood Hail. It doesn't melt.
>He has a Mistress. It changes when he thinks people might catch on, but he's always way behind everyone else.
>A bauble that glows when Elves are around (Around elves...)
>A Dimensional Shambler
>The church requires a sacrifice, Aztec style, to repower the free healing well.
>>46778597
>bartender
Johnathan, he's Damn nice - human father has risen him well despite his mother early death.
>weather
Strange sunny rain - patchy rain clouds with sun shining through. Also strong cold wind when overall temperature is pleasant.
>secret
Mayor is too good person, and is being constantly taken advantage of by higher ranking beaurocrats.
>item
A flute, whenever he plays it a person holding other flute can hear the song. He uses it to communicate and commandeer faraway forces.. And to cheer up his sister. Mostly cheer her up.(he sucks at management)
>attack
Assassins from faraway desert city of Kash - someone changed rooms in Inn with party to avoid them..
>sun god
eclipse is coming, a grand eclipse lasting week. They are gathering divine essence to provide help when people start panicking in darkness.
Tits McGee
Milk rain
She wears chest wraps
Bra of Lifting and Separating
Boobs
They're distracted by something
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grork
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Rainy with occasional frog showers
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
That he's on a wizards payroll.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A wand of disintegrate that is triggered by the sound of a ringing bell.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Frog golem. A flesh golem made of frogs.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Because they won't do anything about the wizard in town that's blocking out the sun with rain and frog storms. They can only heal so many times before they need PRAISE THE SUN! to replenish their ability to heal.
>>46778597
> Krug
> Some idiot keeps feeding the dragon-pigeons and it's raining shit.
> He's not the real mayor, he's just some retard that assumed office and everyone went along with it.
> Fairy in a bottle. Can be used for multiple things.
> A swarm of pigeon sized dragons.
> Someone fell asleep in the holy water thereby transforming them into a demi-god. The church marvels that the person wasn't irradiated like most people and close down temporarily to worship their new found god.
The church opens shortly after when the demi-god joins the party. The demi-god is relatively useless, the best kind of useless.
>Jimbo
>Rain tastes oddly of blood
>Pedrophile
>Tentacle rod
>Skeletons
>Sun god's dead
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Ragruz
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Blood snow!
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's fucking Ragruz.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A magic handmirror with an djinn inside.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A grue.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The blood snow is a curse from God and a sign that they've lost God's favor.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Dave
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Hail in the middle of summer
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He has affairs with the Elf merchants that visit town
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A relic of his ancestor that gives a 100% truthful answer to one yes-or-no question per day
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A bear
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The sun god actually died
>>46781908
What are they distracted by?
>>46778597
>Gromfleng
>RAINING SPIDERS
>He's actually an anchient ornery copper dragon
>Cursed ring of spider vomiting
>A horde of bandits with more rings of spider vomiting
>They are vomiting spiders
>>46778597
Baron Von Grufflestein
Dry Lightning
Snorts Fairy Dust
Tooth of an orc
Rats
It's too cloudy
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Zug Zug (I had a better one for him but practically immediately forgot)
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Stormy.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He wears women's underwear.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
+1 axe.
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
The Boogie Man.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
'Cause they're assholes.
>Mr.Broccoli, he kicks drunk asses and gets the local kids to eat their veggies afterwards
>Snowing ash
>not the gender they claim to be, but doesnt think anyone knows
>Heirloom axe from their grandfather, a hero
>another party of adventurers
>Terrible plague in the lands threatens to kill of the healthy residents of the temple
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Thaneus
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Raining eyeballs
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Like to dress in women's clothing when he thinks no one is watching
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Pic related
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
An overly enthusiastic kobold
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They are all dead.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Cumbutt
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Hail.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Transgender.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Amulet of femininity.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A dire transgendered.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They only heal the transgendereds.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Bob.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Long, freezing cold nights. There is no snow, but people either sleep by a fireplace or never wake up.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
His wife beats him.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A ring that lets him communicate with his lieutenants at a distance. Even though only he hears their answers, he still has to speak out loud, so he avoids using it with people nearby.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Undead crows.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They have foreseen an eternal eclipse and are channeling all of their power into trying to stop it.
>>46778597
>Grish Gurlaksson
>Rain of Frogs
>He's gay, but the town loves him anyway
>Amulet of far seeing
>Chucacabra
>To many frivolous "ailments"
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
sheryl
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
raining acid
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
he's a crossdresser
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
magic powered dildo (i read this as magical realm, fuck)
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
the town guard
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
people have been sleeping too late in the day, which the sun god takes as a sign of disrespect
>>46778597
>Jim, He has a green chaser father
> Frogs are flying from the sky
> He is an incredable faggon, like holy shit
> chapstick that heals cuts and broken bones when you have a slower heart rate
> Giant frogs, they want the chapstick that you stole
> Their godesses chapstick has been stolen and they use a late soviet soda policy on heal items.
>>46778597
>Shrug-Grug
>Blizzards that don't feel cold
>He's having an affair with Shrug-Grug
>Mayan amulet made of gold, summons tiny flying snakes upon squeezing it
>gobbos
>Too many homeless bastards are flooding the place
I'll make it work
>>46781380
not abnormal if it takes place in mongolia, snow falls there all the time
Gregory Shackleford
Cloudless Thunderstorms
He's having an affair with the Cobbler's wife
A flask that purifies any liquid carried within it.
Men with gambling debts
There's a War in the Skies, and the Sun can't be parceling out its power at a time like this!
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Korgrosh half-foot
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Blizzards in summer
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Fooling around with a succubus.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
The tome to summon the mayor's succubus.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A lonely goblin
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples
No sun, no magic. the summer blizzards block it out
>>46778597
> Black Sullivan
> unseasonable warmth mid-winter
> a fondness for halfling lolis
> A bottle of bottomless beer
> mosquitos. Hundreds of em
> The sun has been eclipsed by some dark force, and has not shown its face in three days.
Sharfgokd.
Blizzards. Tons of 'em. In the summer. Clouds don't even roll in, they boil up suddenly.
No underwear.
Flask sized alchemic jug.
Nudist vampires.Nudist vampires.
>>46778597
>Dah'ren. Not it's not fucking Darren it's Dahren! You! if you put your feet on that table one more time I'm going to take them off you! Last warning!
>It's still summer. In fact, it's been summer for four seasons now. The crops aren't doing so well and the mountains up north are starting to weep. Even stranger, the stars have stopped moving.
>She used to be an adventurer. But after a run in with some very powerful people she got out of the game and retired to Fells Reach. As a party leader she was a natural at running things, and within a few years she became mayor. Not that she wanted to. She acts like it never happened but everyone knows about her past and as a matter of respect they just never mention it. She may be inadvertently responsible for many of the strange things that happen in the area.
>Enchanted music box. Never needs winding. Belonged to the mayor.
>Dah'ren. Shouldn't have put your feet on the table.
>After the first eight months of summer, people got very cranky with the priests. Many still blame them. Most of the order have taken to seclusion to pray and meditate. Others are celebrating, thinking that the time of their god has finally come. Only those with the least faith and connection to the church are still helping, because to them, helping is more important.
>>46778597
>Churl
>Thunderclouds striking lightening, but only >above one or two specific houses.
>That he kills anyone who learns his real secret.
>A flail which leaves a trail behind it, which is purely cosmetic.
>A gang of street kids trying to steal their stuff.
>The church is struggling with internal politics after the death of the high priest.
>>46778597
>Gnar
>Rain going into the sky instead of falling
>His daughter is a lycanthrope Wererat
>Ring of the Ram
>Assassins who are Monks of the way of the shadow.
>They never could but they had a steady supply of magic healing machines but an argument with their supplier has caused them to have no access to the machines.
>>46778597
Greg
acid rain
mayor's gay
Belt of sex change
dire turtles
theirs is a false god and the actually gods have decreed that they have to close up shop... OR ELSE!
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Ricky.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
It's sunny.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's not really the mayor. He's just a bum who squats in the town hall and is good enough at taking care of the town that everyone acts like he's in charge.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A whetstone that sharpens any blade to a perfect edge in one pass.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Diarrhea. Should have learned how to properly prepare a meal in the wild.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Healing was never something they could do, but they hired others who could to deal with the people who always showed up asking to be healed. They can no longer afford it.
>>46778597
Robert
Strange rain that tastes foul, poisons crops and damages the cobblesacid rain
He's actually a quarter Gnome, but the cobbler is very good at making his shoes an inch taller than they appear
A ring on a necklace
A grandma who is convinced that the druids bear ate her granddaughter
Because the Abbott has gotten sick, and the church has to spend all their mana keeping him alive until a high-level priest can arrive to lift whatever the problem is
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Philip. Philip Knifeears. His family is known for killing eleves and wearing their faces as war masks. He has a few in the back, including one he calls Tony he's quite proud of.
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Snowstorms. In the middle of summer.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He has a wife- he used to be an adventurer, and made some enemies. However, the whole town is willing to defend him because he was a righteous hero back in the day. If his old enemies show up, they're going to get the shit kicked out of them by the new blood adventurers inspired by him.
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A miniature accordion that expands to the size of whoever's playing it. Can play one song automatically without the user needing any skill. It's Cotton-Eye-Joe.
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Bears. Bears kept by a small cabal of druids, who apologize for the incident and heal and revive any of the hurt before giving them a plot hook. One druid is enthralled with a party member for some reason or another.
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Assassins. Undead assassins who take the visage of a human or elf before killing anyone in the area after asking for healing so they can be sure to kill at least one cleric.
>>46778597
Danny
Bees
She's naked
A second, smaller box
Danny
Bees
>>46778597
Turge
Unrelenting heat wave
Huge masochist
Muffler/scarf that disguises voice
Inn keeper
Church has a new priest, instead of sharing sun god's healing and virtues seeks to [make up rest as they investigate church]
>the half-orc bartender's name
Schlimmy Don
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Hurricanes
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He has an orc mistress (it's the bartender)
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A gold sword that sheds light
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Two rats that breathe fire
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They believe the sun is dying and they need to focus their healing towards prayer to the sun.
>>46778597
Bill
rain
he's gay
tea kettle that is magically easy to clean
mormon knocking at the door
they ran out of healing supplies
>>46778597
>Vaaro Gru'ut
>dry lightning - thunderclaps but no rain, all seemingly concentrated on a hill not to far away
>closet transvestite
>girdle of masculinity/femininity
>a bear. not a magical bear, just a normal bear. wearing a dress, for some reason.
>a terrible vision came before the head priest last night. he saw a cleric being attacked while perfoming a healing, and is convinced it will occur. thing is, he's never shown any particular inclination to divine visions before, and when asked how he could be so sure it wasn't just a harmless nightmare he starts to become very defensive, even accusing the doubters others of lacking due faith before quickly changing the subject.
>>46778597
>Grog
>Pretty cold for summer, but hardly a sign of the end times. No biggie
>He wears women's clothes
>Scroll of Pass Without Trace
>Night Hag
>The King has been trying to strongarm the Sun Pope and they're teaching him a lesson.
>>46778597
>Argak
>Sandstorm
>His affair with a local bard
>A demon-possessed spear with a heart of gold
>Halflings
>They believe the plague sweeping across the land only affects those who aren't protected by the Sun God
>>46778597
Malok
Fog. There are no large bodies of water nearby (the town draws from a well) and people caught out of their homes in the early morning tend to vanish forever.
The Mayor is a member of the Cult of Vectron. No one knows what Vectron is a god of, exactly, but he is praised loudly after every sentence.
A whistle that summons a swarm of biting, stinging insects…that does not spare the summoner their wrath.
Mothman attracted to their campfire.
Their god has died as a result of divine scheming, and though the Sun itself still rises and falls, the new portfolio owner is ignoring the old god’s followers’ prayers.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Maupassant
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Heavy snow in late autumn
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He can't count and relies on his wife to keep the treasury
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A cauldron that stirs itself
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A wild boar
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The pope died and they are observing a period of mourning
>>46778597
Kyle (Kal'Orrick but he goes by Kyle. A lame Orc who makes a living importing brews and doing a bit of smuggling with his remaining connections among the savage races that lurk in the deep forests.) mentions that the current draught has been lasting ever since the winds at night had started, sending clouds scudding high overhead in a way that almost seems to taunt the town with their refusal to drop any moisture. Everyone has been hit hard, to the point that even the Mayor has had to reduce his weekly visits to Madame Louise's House of Soft Pleasures.
Maybe the wand you found on the Bandit Chieftans dead body with a face that changes it's expression every time you look away has something to do with it, as the expressions appears to resemble those found carved into the walls of the hill peoples ruins.
The Sun God's priests might hold some clues also, as there are rumors that they weren't the original major cult in the region but came in after an unknown cataclysm destroyed the civilization the now Hill People once had. They are notoriously tight lipped to the point of hostility about this event however, saying only that there was an unpardonable sin that occurred and the cataclysm was righteous divine retribution.
Ever since the draught began they've been locked up in their temples, refusing to allow anyone inside except for messengers from their headquarters in the neighboring Empire of Tassalia, of which this kingdom is a vassal-state - not quite independent, but not quite worth the effort of subjugating with their territory broken up by the hills and deep forests in which races even more savage than the degenerate bandits and raiders of the Hill People.
3 1/2 minutes to write that up.
>>46788099
Want some deeper plot?
There's a hole in the world that links to outside of reality, where an Outsider resides that feeds off of Holy energy/belief that powers the gods. It infects them like a virus and drives the god mad as it dies.
The Hill People found it first by Arcane experiments and the Wizards blocked it off, but the Church at the time decided that it was an abomination that had to be slayed. They sent in their Holy Champions, empowered with the might of their god, and this is what let the Outsider taste his divine essence and link up to it when it corrupted and absorbed the champions. The city slowly fell into madness both from the essence of the Outsider leaking in, and from the corrupted Champions returning and slowly going mad - thinking they had defeated the Outsider and not realizing they had become carriers of it's taint. That same taint is responsible for the erratic behaviour of the Hill people who have essentially a type of OCD that results in bizarre rituals and occasional violent reactions as well as mutation and mental disorders.
The Savage races got themselves embedded in the area after the fall, and given the reduced amount of arable land + the depopulation swoll to unmanageable numbers that nobody was really interested in doing anything about.
The current Church made a power play in a bid to destabilize the region as a cats paw of the Empire and is now dealing with their God being infected and are trying to minimize the damage.
The party will be used as patsies, or targeted if they find out the truth.
>>46783654
Go home Paizo, you're drunk.
>the half-orc bartender's name
Garknak Slinger -- An orcish first name and a human surname
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Electric hailstorms -- Don't ask me what those are, my brain just thought it sounded cool
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Inbred -- The mayor is apparently a Lannister
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A dragon summoning gem
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Scorpions -- How original, amirite?
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The citizens spend too much time indoors and not enough time basking in the sun's generous rays -- Ten seconds is not enough time to consider the hypocrisy of said church having a temple
>Loretta
>Dry heat, thunderstorm with no rain but a fuckload of lightnings
>He's partially a construct, hides it under his clothes
>Wand of Foetal Explosion
>Armless ghouls with plaques of copper on their eyes and irron teeth
>No sun anymorw, duh
>the half-orc bartender's name
Petey, He changed it to something simple for his customers.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
A Heavy fog, With occasional Static discharges and electronic buildup.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He murdered the previous mayor, Took his place, people where going to call him on it, but he was doing a better job. And wasn't corrupt. But It's not official so outsiders might report it to the government.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Spyglass, That can reveal a type of hidden monster.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A Wendigo, hungry for human flesh, but it mainly wants to damage their provisions and wound, so someone else will be stranded, and required to eat human flesh, thus taking his curse.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Always a sham, A front, The god did nothing, they had a Cool super powerful scientist guy in the background, but he went missing. So they're trying to keep it rolling and collect all the funds for the church, Hoping he comes back (Spoiler he aint)
How'd i do,
Copied the whole list without looking and then answered each within 10 seconds.
>the half-orc bartender's name
John, he was raised by his human mother and is a sweet, although socially awkward, guy.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
It hasn't rained in months. This is particularly strange for this region.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He cheats on his wife with John's mother. She gives him discounts because of it.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A locket that won't open, no matter how hard the party tries. It has a sun pattern on it.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Nothing.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples
You don't know, but it probably has something to do with the strange weather.
Those were my initial, immediate responses without thinking. If I could, I might change the strange weather to, night isn't happening at all, which is also why nothing attacked them at night. Something's wrong with the sun.Your lead is the son, John. His father is a bandit, and though he's never met him, he recognizes that design on the sun locket and wants to go on the journey with you.
>>46778597
>bartender
Gathgar
>weather
incessant hailstorm
>secret
he got back together with his ex-wife
>magical item
the Iron Wand
>ambush
Gathgar the bartender
>no healing zone
The sun god had a fight with the moon god and got kicked out of the pantheon, losing his healing powers
>>46778597
Bob
Frogs
Transvestite
Ring of three witches
Owlbear
New high priest is a thrall of orcus. Also racists.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
uhhhhh
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Titties!
>Bartender
Darbrin
>Weather
Lightning fires from the ground, it is also green
>Secret
His lover is the Alchemist's Wife
>Magical Item
Mask Of Disguises
>Ambush
Crazed Warriors that have been hit from the ground lightning
>Church
The New High Priest is attempting to save money
>>46778597
>Grognar D.
>A plesant summer sun. All the time. And we're in the Far North.
>He's secretly not gay.
>Self-igniting smoking pipe.
>Angry skellington. Stop being a bunch of cheapskates and rent a room, and don't sleep in the graveyard!
>Apparently, the weather indicates that the sun god is angry, and it's not a good idea to call him for help right now.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grak'thuz Makurrud. Known as Grak to the populace. He likes to ride on the stereotype of being a horrible rape-baby and uses the innate fear people have of orcs to keep his bar in line. He's actually a nice guy who enjoys the peace and would like to run a good establishment, but nobody is ever going to take a half-orc seriously in matters that aren't somehow violent.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Acid Rain. Not much of a town or people left.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Despite it being illegal, he's known to lurk around the streets and offer 'shelter' to young women along with gifts of money and food of to help encourage them to take him up on his 'kindness'
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A loop that turns whatever is pulled through it into cheese. They've been using it to turn stones and whatnot into cheese to eat.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A rapist. Perhaps he saw the elf/Halfling/woman alone and decided to make his move. Sucks to be him when a naked man bursts into a clearing full of heavily armed murderhobos.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Because people who come for healing tend to immolate or explode. The Sun God is displeased with sinners and punishes them with death by fire. The temple is trying to sort this matter out, as pressuring people to not sin means the donations will stop rolling in.
>>46778597
>winston
>nothing unusual
>he got his position by political marriage with son of a duke, but is actually not gay and is competent at his job
>scroll of sending
>bandits coming to investigate what happened to the previous gang
>all the clerics are too busy fighting an undead incursion in the catacombs, they could use some help
>>46778597
>Seamus half-blooded(he was raised by humans)
>A strange purple mist that appears every day at dusk and disappears shortly after, even in windless days
>Got the role of mayor by bribing the other contestants, but he does a fairly good job so everyone's fine with it
>A deck of many things
>members of a cult who seek to achieve vampirism by drinking the blood of people
>Someone has broken into the church and stole a valuable (yet not magical) artifact. The clerics are sure someone of the village must have done it, and won't heal anyone until the thief gives the artifact back
Guark
Non-stop rain for months
Half-elf
Communication Amulet
Undead fauna
Because of the non-stop rain blotting out the sun
>>46778597
>Grabrin
>Dust devils all year round, but only in the
towns borders
>He likes boys, but it's not so unusual
>Amulet of mage armor
>A giant spider the size of a big dog. Where did it came from???
>Because the desiese is uncurable, but not lethal
>>46778597
>Joe
>Stinky fish rain
>He's a cuck (fuck you 4chan)
>nothing, fucking shitty bandits don't have magic items what the fuck
>the first signs of premature baldness
>Because the new royal law to allow gay marriage makes the sun god angry. Will the PCs be badass enough to make the retrograde priests more progressive?
>>46778597
>Grurk
>Raining Frogs
>Sleeping with the bakers rich wife
>wand of overland flight
>Shade of the local priest
coincidentally
>Taken over by an occult group.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Grognard or Korgoth
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
The sun has not been shining as of late, and when it does, it gets mysteriously eclipsed.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He is gay. He got a wife and has two kids and everything, but he is gay and will hit on the Monk/Barbarian of the group. He thinks Bards/Wizards/Sorcerers are scrawny fucks and Warlocks are fags.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
An Amulet of Fireballs Lvl 3
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Shadow Ambush Drake
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They are trying to make a weaponized, AOE Dispel to stop the eclipses because they are too incompetent/proud what have you to ask for outside help or cast divination spells correctly and need all the magic they have to make the spell XBOX HUEG.
>>46778597
>half orc name
Gzaz the Beer Gut
>strange weather
Lightning storms going on constantly for a month
>mayors "secret" everyone knows
Sleeping with his young male adjutant
>magical items bandit chief was carrying
wand of vanish
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
terrasque
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples
They have been subverted by an evil cult.
>>46778597
rhonda
its sunny
he's a lizard
dragon dildo
seagulls
they're laying low because of the odd weather
>>46778597
>Benaire
>Thunderstorms and hail in the middle of summer
>he imports all sorts of riches but makes airs at piety and humility
>a magical necklace that allows him to see five hours into the future exactly - useful for planning ambushes
>a creature that can walk on shadows
>a new sect as begun to take hold that believes sunlight itself is especially sacred - they will not heal those who have stolen from the sun so greedily
>>46778597
>trog
>rain in summer
>is actually a wanted bandit
>crown of poetry that spits out poems when the user wears it
>a giant mud golem
>zombified vampires
>nobody praises the sun anymore
>>46778597
Handriggal
rain
he's a fag
ring of delusion
cumgoblins (won't make sense unless you browse the OSR threads)
because poor people need a hand up not a hand out
>>46789246
I don't know if you're the only one, but you're one of the few to make the half-orc female for some reason.
>>46778597
>look at the answers others gave for weather
>14 involving summer + precipitation
>16 frogs
>>46789345
All the frogs weirds me out. I understand it's something that actually happens, but still, it's weird that it's the most common "weird weather" that comes to mind.
>>46778597
Jerry
sunny
crossdresser
a magical necklace
goblins
they need money
>>46789533
It's not that weird. It's in the Bible as one of the crazy things that happens, so it'll more than likely get thought of.
What else would you really have? When people think weather, they naturally think 'things that fall from the sky.' Fog is not really weird, and neither is strong winds. Random objects just seem silly and could cause actual damage. Larger animals could hurt people.
>>46789533
more harmless than fire or magical darkness. More serious than dicks or sweet rolls. Frogs are pretty middle of the ground, but obviously something is up if frogs are coming down.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Terokahr!
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Double rainbows day and night!
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
His mistress isn't really a mistress.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Flute of Animal Charming!
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
The Darkness! No, wait, a Vampire Lichen!
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Their god has been devoured by an eldritch abomination that can end all reality unless stopped, but they don't know this yet and are afraid and nervous that their powers have stopped working and don't want anyone to know.
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Rahkoni
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Abnormally wet for the season, hasn't stopped raining for the last week. Granted it's a light drizzle, but it's still strange.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Sleeping with the half-inch bartender
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Elemental gem. The chief hadn't realised what it was, thinking it just another pretty bauble.
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Bandits looking for valuables they can pawn
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The god of the sun has stopped answering their calls. They can't heal. They are desperately trying to keep this from the people whilst they look for a solution.
>Sikch
>Unusually sunny weather
>Plans on separating the Sun Temple from Government
>Ring of soup
>Wolves
>Protesting the separation of church and state
>>46778597
Half-grok
Thick, Rolling fog
He's pretty much blind but tries to bluff his way through it, poorly
Ring of apathy, he's not actually a bad guy. It just caused him to not give shits about human life and he can't get it off because, eh.
Probably vampires
Because of the thick fog, nobody can see the sun to incite it's powers
>>46778597
>Urbak
>Golf-ball sized, glowing meteors falling from the sky
>His daughter has run off to the castle of a vampire
>A potion of fire breath
>A ghoul
>The only magic the temple knows how to cast is magic scrolls and they've run out.
Gord'ogra ok Adrakka, but everyone just calls him Gordon.
Floods aren't unusual this close to the delta, not this time of year. What's unusual is that the earth beneath remains dry as a bone, stubbornly refusing to accept the sky's bounty. The water isn't clearing, and even if it's pumped away the parched, cracked fields can't sustain crops.
He was never actually elected. Twelve years ago, fierce infighting had eliminated, politically or otherwise, all of the potential candidates, and amidst the general leaderless chaos eventually one of the janitors just wandered into the mayoral office, sat in the big chair and started giving orders to people who came in. In the end, nobody got round to actually asking what he thought he was doing there.
A potion of full healing that he didn't use because he might need it more later.
A bloated abomination stitched together from dead cows. An investigation check reveals that it was made from seven cows, who likely died of hunger as they were all exceptionally thin.
The junior acolytes are striking over proposed reforms to the national healing service.
>>46778597
> "Stoney" Rogush
> Rainclouds are blood red but rain normal water, only on Fridays and nights of the full moon
> The "exemplar young priest" he "recommended" to an isolated, prestigious temple is really his bastard son.
> Smokebomb of Infinite Smoke
> 3 gnomes disguised as a wendigo
> A side effect of sunlight healing is that people get perfectly tanned after large treatments, so it's become a new fad among nobles
>>46778597
Nargha Jhones
Herb-scented rain
He was never actually elected. Just sort of showed up
Troll-dust aphrodisiac
a hag and her ogre sons
There's been a small schism as to the ethics of using magical healing and it's abuses/possible side mental side effects
Here are the contents of a barcode I scanned:
>the half-orc bartender's name
Ura. She's not exactly pretty, but has a bright and quirky personality.
Claims she once beat a dwarf in a drinking contest.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Unusual draught.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Lost his ballsack in a fight. He doesn't like to talk about it.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Chalice that appears to summon water. Unexpectedly drys up after a few Gallons.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Orcish Woman, apparently confused a party member for the mayor.
She's furious and wants him to tell the truth about the hereditary gift of his family.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Townsfolk have been blaming him for the draught and vandalized the temple.
Pic unrelated.
>>46778597
Pidar
Raining vodka
He does krokodil
A haunted AKM that speaks by controlling a bear riding a unicycle
A war bear
The church people are dying of liver failure from vodka and need to heal themselves
>>46778597
FLAGON TUSK!
SNAKES!
HE'S AUSTRALIAN
BELT OF GENDER SWAP
A SURPRISE
SUN POWERS ARE CAUSING SKIN CANCER
>>46778597
Karl
Extreme heat
He's fucking his sister
Bag of holding
A starving vampire
The sun god has gone mad and is burning the earth.
>>46778597
Tom
Snow... in April!?!
Homo
Rabbit's foot
Hunger
God is Dead
Kreg
It's a bit cloudier than usual.
He's a necromancer who killed the real mayor. Everyone knows but they are to scared to do anything about it.
+2 ring
They attack each other because of That Guy
The church of the moon used a fancy ritual to destroy the sun during last eclipse, they are trying to make a new one.
>>46790201
portal's can't move
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Jim
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
RAINING BLOOD, FROM A LACERATED SKY
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's gay. FABULOUS! type of gay, complete with a feather boa. He firmly denies it though.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Potion of Really Fucking Lucky
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Bogeyman
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The sun has not come up for months
>>46778597
choppy
raining ice sand
his obsession with summoning ice sand
his magical orb of rape
the magical orb of rape
their vampires.
Grog
Hail in summer
He's into cross dressing
Bag of holding
Angels
Angels be dicks yo
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
"Mutton"
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
"Stiff wind from the West for the last three days, overturning barrels and carrying sand."
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
"It's his familiar, a fancy guinea pig, pretending to be a toupee"
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
"A swan boat feather token"
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
"Montezuma's revenge"
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
"The resident healer went with the previous party into the crypts, they haven't come back in three days"
>>46778597
>K'thurr-dave
>raining water instead of blood
>he's two gnomes in a trenchcoat
>his dick
>his dick
>solar flares
>>46778597
Groffus
Frog Rain, the whispering secrets of the next town down the road kind
He has some weird tentacled limbs under the robes, everyone knows that he is not the original major, but they like him better
a golden magical pipe of sexual potency, the bandit chief had some serious compensation issues
the last user of the magical pipe of sexual potency, now a wolf-satyr-man thing.
the church is focusing all his power to quell the vampire rebellion in the east
>>46778597
>Half-Orc
Barry.
>Weather
Blood rain, a Hemomancer has taken nearby residence.
>Mayor secret
He has a 3rd nipple and runs about shirtless.
>Bandit Chief item
A gift from the Hemomancer, a ring of Blood Sacrifice, Chief was paranoid as hell.
>Party in the night
Blood Elementals.
>Sun God Denial
Because the Sun God is a lie, they found out, and they do not want to admit it yet.
>>46778597
>name
Galbatross
>weather
The north wind has been blowing hot this month
>"secret"
His daughter, isn't.
>magic item
A small compass that points home.
>assailant
A rabid mule.
>church refuses
The priests have been killed and replaced by necromancers, who wanted access to the sick-ass undercroft. Officially, its reported that the church is closed for maintenance and mourning.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Golaf
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Raining frogs
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He has the best spaghetti recipe in town and thinks nobody knows what it is.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
40 cheese wheels.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A miniature, giant, space hamster.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They've recently read Atlas Shrugged and now believe they should charge as much as possible for their services as the market allows. They're in the process of restructuring to accommodate this change.
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Grusk.
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Uncharacteristically windy, with frequent showers littered with very aggressive, yet harmless, blue frogs.
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's been seeing the baker's wife after hours.
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
An amulet that seems to hum in an alien tongue when he speaks.
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Strange men painted with skeletal body paint, shouting about "Abu'snak ra"
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Their holy symbols are making citizens break out into a curious pox.
>>46780468
>>46778597
>Urist
>Blood rain
>Crossdresser
>Flask of plenty
>Direwolves
>solar eclipse
>>46778597
>Tommy
>Locusts
>He's gay
>Ring of imprecise knowledge
>Locusts
>They can't see the sun because of all the locusts, which they are secretly or inadvertently responsible for
How'd I do?
>>46783966
Parched lips, anon?
>>46791927
Move relative to what?
"The sun, and you and me, and all the stars you can see, are travelling at a million miles a day!"
Everything is in constant motion, relative to absolute coordinates. If portals worked like truly immovable rods, the universe would break.
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Dale.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
The winds coming off the mountains to the east are carrying a foul smell.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's a ghoul.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
That spoon that magically fills bowls with oatmeal.
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Mosquitoes the size of sparrows.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The Moon God's church has politically maneuvered to require that healers perform abortions if asked. The Sun God's church would rather stop healing altogether than comply with the new regulations.
>You're going to have to just run with whatever first comes to mind, so don't hesitate!
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Ogruk Barman
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Hail the size of grapes
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
The mayor is a woman in reverse drag
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Girdle of Femininity
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
Coyotes, always coyotes
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The weather has been cloudy for a week straight, a sign of the end of days
>>46778597
>the half-orc bartender's name
Jaktuk
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
A perpetual crimson lightning storm.
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's actually a very well articulated and preserved zombie.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
An amulet of flight
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A trio of minor devils
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
Did you not see the crimson lightning? IT IS THE END TIMES, MOTHER FUCKER. We don't have time to treat your petty shit, we got demonic armies to prep for!
>>46780468
>>46778597
>Horace. What, he was raised by humans.
>It's snowing. It's also summer. It's also still warm.
>the mayor has ties to a crime syndicate, and has done some "favors" for them to keep business running
>a cursed sword made of bone. Functionally useless, unspeakably evil.
>spiders. Tiny ones.
>the sun is dying, the light is fading, and many of the faithful without great experience are losing their divine powers
>Werrolf
>Full moon, even in daytime, for the last week.
>He's a werewolf
>A wolf hide that turns you into a werewolf
>Werewolf
>Slain by werewolves
This was originally a joke, but I think I've done all of this.
>>46778597
>>the half-orc bartender's name
Brellik
>>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Hailstones on warm days
>>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
He's a pedophile
>>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
A charm that when ground into dust and scattered over the bones of the dead doubles the caster level of the next necromancy spell cast upon it
>>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A band of nixies
>>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
They are protesting the tax imposed upon them by the town mayor when they are only trying to cover their costs and maintain the building.
>>46778597
Cognan
Bunny
He actually died seven years ago. existing drunk from the inn he slipped on a nightmare shit and drowned in the fountain
Belt of sex change
A clown
They actually come because they get tans
>the half-orc bartender's name
James 'Scruffy' Malone, because race dependent naming stereotypes are annoyingly idiotic.
>what kind of strange weather the town has been having recently
Fog. Fog so thick it is ridiculously easy to get lost in it. Anyone traveling alone has X percentage chance to become lost for either a few hours, days, or possibly forever. Strange monsters also roam the fog as well, all with differing motives and alignments. (lost inter-dimensional travelers from other places being affected by / linked together by the fog).
>the mayor's "secret" that everyone knows
Mayor is actually a woman disguised (poorly) as a man, she does such a good job that no-body bothers to make a fuss over this despite the strong patriarchal traditions common to the region.
>what magical item the bandit chief was carrying (but didn't use in the fight)
Sphere of annihilation arrow. (pic related)
>what attacks the party in the middle of the night
A highly confused party of eighteenth century british redcoats, who became lost in a thick fog while on guard duty.
>why the church of the sun god has started to refuse to heal anyone that comes into their temples.
The juvenile tarrasque they've been harvesting blood from for use in potions of regeneration has recently escaped from their basement (...and has secretly been taken in by a local nine year old orphan who loves her new 'doggy').
>>46797027
Forgot pic.
>>46797419
That's not a sphere of annihilation, just a portal to the astral realm.
