Give me greentext stories about game sessions.
Go.
The name of the game is ChromeStrike.
>it's been a couple sessions so I decide to start offering multiple mission choices to my players
>this time they get three choices
>the first is recon on a Russian forward base
>all they have to do is go look at the outpost for a bit then come back and report
>pay sucks but there's a commission bonus for blowing crap up
>the second is to help some ecoterrorists bomb a Chinese factory
>the same ecoterrorists that, in the last session, tried to ram a boat LOADED with explosives into the industrial sector of the town the players are stashed out in
>but in defense of the ecoterrorists, it's not like they knew the players were in that town
>at the same time, they don't know that it was the players who sunk the boat
>the last is to go out in the middle of nowhere in a desert to stomp some fags who are a little too close to discovering an anti-satellite cannon facility
>can't let them find it, that'd be a disaster
>my players spend the better part of an hour talking over what to choose
>this includes:
>initial distaste at the idea of working for the ecoterrorists
>eventual acceptance that maybe that's not such a bad choice after all
>everybody missing the words "commission bonus" until about fifteen minutes in, right as it seemed they were getting ready to settle on helping blow up a factory
>majority settling on the Russian outpost until somebody asks about the anti-satellite cannon facility, leading them to realize that if those fags find it and wreck it, they'll get a huge payout and worldwide acclaim
>a long debate over the importance of choosing safe work with low pay and potential for more versus denying those cunts their glory at any cost
>my face the entire time I'm watching them
Eventually they settled on defending the facility. We'll see how that pans out on Thursday.
>>46635178
It sounds like you crafted all three missions to be the same situation from different points of view.
>>46635251
Does it? It might be because I left faction names out of the post.
Well, I certainly didn't intend for it to come across like that.
>>46635178
Hah, that actually sounds like it must have been fun to listen to, and your reaction image is absolutely perfect.
>>46635251
>>46635396
I don't think that person is implying that's a bad thing, and I certainly don't think it would be, though I'm not seeing it in this case.
>>46635396
Doesn't matter. In any event, it sounds like the players had a very serious and deep discussion about risk vs reward.
>Discworld campaign
>Magical anomalies in Ahnk-morpork
>Moon turns into a disco ball and makes everyone in the city dance uncontrollably
>Have a breakdance fight with a group of zombies
>Confront the baddie responsible for the anomaly
>It's a zombified not-michael jackson
>chase him to the moon
>befriend frog aliens
>confront not-michael jackson in his party palace
>banish him from this dimension with a synchronized dance super move with frogmen backup dancers
>>46637367
This sounds glorious. I demand more.
>>46637856
>first half of the campaign revolves around a djelibeybi cult
>they stole a book of necromantic sorcery and ephebian lighthouses
>one of our party members is a man pretending to be a wizard that was blamed for the theft of the book
>track down the book by infiltrating the cult while evading the wizards of ahnk-morpork
>earn the trust of a group of harpies along the way
>negotiate the freedom of our fake wizard in exchange for the books location to the wizards
>sneak into a resurrection ceremony by offering our fake wizard as a virgin sacrifice (the PC was in the bathroom when we made the deal)
>launch a 3 pronged surprise raid on with the harpy-wizard-PC alliance
>wizards start blasting everything in sight with polymorph spells with no regard for friend or foe
>harpies rampaging wildly
>a group of homeless men our fake wizard hired run around on fire for reasons i can't remember
>final battle with resurrected pharaoh
>fake wizard conjures a spell(!) to defeat the pharaoh
>hailed as heroes of Djelibeybi
The incedent was later known as the great Run-ahmok kerfuffle.
>>46638392
These stories literally just got me into Discworld. I'm reading Color of Magic right now. It's fantastic. Keep going.
>>46638531
The most recent session
>previously received a task from a rock troll we met on the moon(in return for not stomping us to death)
>Deliver a message to another rock troll on the disk
>track down the whereabouts of the rock troll
>its in a dormant state and dwarves are trying to mine out its diamond like bones
>find out the only way to wake it is to set fire to its mouth
>pretend to be inspectors working for the mining company the dwarves belong to
>inspect the cave (mouth)
>try to get the dwarves to start a fire
>the foreman is wise to our game
>wizard(?) panics and knocks him out with a rock
>convince the other dwarves in the cave he is infected with a rock troll parasite and the only way to protect themselves is with fire
>pass deceive check
>all the dwarves light up torches
>shit goes down as the rock troll awakens
>we make it out of the cave alive
>The rock troll is named Rocks-anne and is moon rock trolls ex-girlfriend whom he walked out on (!)
>rock troll goes berzerk on the dwarves and the party
>fabricate the contents of the message saying the moon rock troll wants to get back together
>still not entirely convinced
>convince Rocks-anne the moon rock troll commissioned a love ballad for her from the party musician
>sing the entirety of Roxanne by The Police
>shes convinced and lets us be
>meanwhile the dwarves nope right the fuck out
We also had the wizards of Ahnk-morpork turn our wizard(?)'s pet newt into a camel with a squid head that shoots ink everywhere when frightened
>>46638829
Fabulous. What system are you guys using?
>>46638858
Fate
non of us are good at fighting so shenanigans are our only tool for problem solving.
>She wandered along the horizon as though it were full of allure, and entangled with the minds of those who are not welcome.
>>46638531
>reading colour of magic
I envy you more than you could possibly know.
Story from a Pathfinder campaign I tried to run with my friends, but called off after the first session because they derailed so hard.
>Players are all playing Halflings, so I start them out in the not-shire of the setting.
>Upon being told there is a community of humans living within the not-shire, one player immediately declares himself to be Halfler (Halfling Hitler), and his goal is to purge the humans from the Halfling lands.
>Think he is joking and don't call him out.
>PC's are given mission by not-Bilbo to go and find out why humans from the human settlement are sending him angry letters.
>Arrive at human settlement, Halfler quickly builds makeshift disguised bomb and gives it to humans as a 'gift'.
>Realise he wasn't joking about the Halfling Hitler thing.
>Game carries on, even though I know where this is going.
>PC's encounter bad-guy of the session (who is another Halfling extremist).
>Halfler immediately swears loyalty to him, and the other two players don't go against him.
>Encounter GMPC (Bard who is there to serve as party support/healer) who is prisoner of bad guy.
>One of the other players immediately tries to murder GMPC by slitting her throat when she's singing.
>Call session and campaign off right there, because PC's are clearly evil, despite explicit request that they not be evil.
The players involved didn't even have the decency to apologise. Instead their responses boiled down to, "If I was GM I would have just gone with it", or "Stop trying to railroad us".
Apparently requesting that they don't play as Halfling supremacists who murder non-halflings on sight is 'railroading'.
If they weren't my friends from High School I would never sit at the same table with these people ever again.
>>46639448
You could give them consequences for their actions. Want to murder every human you come across? Fine, but you become infamous among humans and sane halflings that don't sympathize with your cause, and you get arrested in pretty much any populated area you come across. And there are lots of bounty hunters after you.
>>46639448
/pol/-tier tendencies aside, this sounds like an interesting campaign, you should probably let it play out, see where it goes. See how far these Halfling Supremacists can go before they literally get squished by someone normal sized.
>>46639603
They wanted to kill non-Halflings and establish a fascist state in the not-shire. Considering I'd planned the campaign out in advance, and it revolved around interacting with a great deal of non-halflings, as well as leaving the not-shire, they had essentially just utterly ruined two months of planning.
If they were willing to ruin months of planning because they couldn't be bothered to not act like /pol/ack edgelords for a few hours, then I couldn't be bothered to run the campaign for them.
Besides, then we moved on to Dark Heresy. I thought that if I ran Dark Heresy with them, a much more serious setting, they'd stop acting like idiots. Story on that to follow.
>>46639815
Let me guess, now they're all Tau-loving hippies?
>>46639815
Sounds like you and your friends have conflicting play-styles. If you plan to play with them in the future, I'd advise you to anticipate their idiocy and implement factors that would punish it, as mentioned above. And maybe it's not such a good idea to plan that far ahead in your campaign if your friends want to play a different role. I'm not really taking their side as those types of players would frustrate me as well, just some suggestions for how to deal with it in the future if you don't decide to just get a new group all together.
>>46639883
That happened when I ran Rogue Trader for them a few years ago. I'll tell you all the Dark Heresy story in a bit.
>>46639940
Looking forward to it
>>46639815
>Playing Dark Heresy.
>PC's are a mind-wiped psyker, an Arbitrator who thinks he's Judge Dredd, an Assassin, and a GM-run Sororitas.
>First three sessions go fine. Arbitrator player (who was the Halfer guy) acts like an over the top caricature of the Arbites, but he's not done anything stupid yet, so carry on.
>Fourth session, players are on hive world waiting for next mission.
>Psyker causes diplomatic incident by walking into an Arbites station, demanding to talk to their on-staff psyker, and then throwing psykers powers around when he is refused.
>Arbites beat him unconscious and throw him in a cell until he is released on inquisition orders.
>Players receive mission: Go to space ship and search for heretics spreading lies about the emperor.
>Players do as told... for a while.
>Arbitrator player decides his character has suddenly developed an intense and irrational attraction to the Sororitas, and begins creepily hitting on her.
>Psyker seeks out one of the ship's astropaths who can unlock his wiped memories.
>Tell him both in-character and out-of-character that this will result in his character gaining a shit-tonne of corruption and insanity points [the inquisition doesn't mind-wipe people for nothing].
>Does it anyway. He gains the corruption and insanity, resulting in him becoming an insane mutant.
>Other players don't immediately purge him, like I would expect.
>Now-mutant PC murders senior inquisitorial agent NPC to prevent him from summoning help.
>Sororitas GMPC shows up and does exactly what a sororitas would do... starts trying to purge the mutant.
>Arbitrator tackles her, restrains her, begins confessing undying love to her, and trying to kiss her, while she is trying to shoot the mutant PC.
>Eventually she accuses Arbitrator of being in-league with the mutant, and so shoots him.
>He survives the hit, and then beats her to death with his shock-baton.
>Entire party are now heretics on a ship full of zealots and pilgrims. They do not survive.
>>46639448
>GMPC female bard halfling
I'd say you deserve Halfler, but no. Halfler's too good for the likes of you.
>>46640185
Bard was a half-elf who happened to be walking through when she was captured. I thought a support character was needed, given the three PC's were Rogue, Rogue, Gunslinger.
>>46640078
>Another female DMPC
>>46640230
Yeah, anon and his players deserve each other.
>>46640078
When players go full retard...
Anyways.
>playing d&d 3.5 as DM for my first time.
>goes great for a while, players always want to find a dungeon and loot it.
>finally I kick them a bone in the shape of a treasure map
>by this point I had been working nonstop to avoid railroading them, letting them get away with anything they wanted.
>they claimed it was too easy, and that I had no chance to stop them.
>I wanted them to win, but I love a challenge.
>"you enter a dark tunnel, dripping sounds and whistling fills the air."
>listen, hear scratching and rustling
>spot, can't see anything
>10 minutes of caution and they enter a large room, lit with gigantic braziers, and across the room there is a large spider.
>barbarian charges, stabs spider
>spider squeals, summons more, fight begins.
>a few rounds later the conscious members help everyone up, barbarian is missing.
>a spider dragged him off unconscious.
>1 down 4 to go.
>adventure on, killing a few small spiders.
>another large room, even larger than before
>everyone watches backs, cautiously engages, wizard throws grease, other wizard shoots fireball.
>explosions...squealing, spider hordes
>wizard who shot fire missing, nobody knows how. More spider thieves
>final room gigantic drider, with 3 torsos, barbarian, wizard, and some old drow male in the middle, who cackles.
>explains how he controls the fools who come to steal his stuff.
>remaining 3 players pull out all the stops, everyone passes out but the cleric
>but the battle is won. Drow dies, allies bodies appear to have regained control and are unconsious
>"I go to heal the survivors and we can get the fuck out"
>you appear to be alone next to the drider corpse, no allies are nearby.
>cleric"fuck this I'm going back to the tavern"
A year later and in a different campaign
>you hear rumors of adventurers disappearing, and giant spiders kidnapping people near (the spider mountain)
>players all lvl 20+ "fuck that"
Everyone liked my spider death traps.
>>46640480
That's a pretty inventive trap, actually.
>be me
>kill entire party because they tried to free my slave girl
>we had to start a new game
The end.
>>46640230
>>46640250
Or the DM is female
>>46640078
>Arbitrator tackles her, restrains her, begins confessing undying love to her, and trying to kiss her, while she is trying to shoot the mutant PC.
Probably my first reaction as well
>Playing a lawful evil rogue in 5e
>Keep my alignment hidden from everyone except the DM
>Become bros with a lawful good cleric
>After spending enough time with one another and debating philosophy, they both become lawful neutral
>My rogue protects the cleric whenever they enter combat, and the cleric intentionally chooses shitty spells to come up with creative ways to put them to use
Maximum comfy
>>46640624
I feel like I'm missing something. What exactly is the trap?
>We're strolling on this forest and the only guy with survival botches the roll miserably
>We enter an eerie part of the forest, with webs everywhere
>oh shit
>Two Dire Spiders appear
>We can handle that
>We damage both spiders, but focus the rest of the damage into only one
>First dire spider dies and from her body two large spiders sprouts
>wat
>Barbarian dude crit like a motherfucker, and kill one large spider in one turn
>The large spider dies, giving birth to two medium spiders
>The Mad is on
>We're affraid to kill the spiders, because this is worse than a fucking hydra
>Sorcerer guy shoots a scorching ray into a medium spider, misses and hit the dire one, killing it. That's two more large spiders
>We're getting swarmed
>One medium spider falls down, giving birth to two small spiders with a ridiculous venon
>Jesus christ
>We use healing magic and potions like crazy, reducing the larger ones
>Then, someone kills a small spider
>That makes two tiny spiders to sprout. They're shit, but they can "spit" web like Spider-Man
>this is looking bad
>Half of us is grappled or breaking free from grapple, the other half is surrounded. Everyone is poisoned, our atributes and movement are impaired
>We kill one tiny spider and a swarm of average spiders flows from it
>Minimal damage, but is more confusion to the mess
>Sorcerer guy fireball everything. Some die. This means more Spiders. They jump him, he gets punked. Cleric uses his last heal on him
>We arrange a formation like fucking Romans to try to bottleneck the situation
>One of the spider is laying an egg inside the carcass of a slain spider
>We panic. We use everything we can before that fucking egg hatches into more spiders that make spiders that make spiders that lay eggs that make spiders that make spiders...
>We kill everything, burn the entire forest, flee like a motherfucker back to town to find antidotes and never talked about it to any NPCs ever again
And this is why we don't like going to the woods
>>46640910
But then that would make anon a girl!
>>46641452
>And then we found zombies
>Fuck the zombies, we charged at them
>We're butchering them
>On your face zombies!
>Suddenly one zombie vomit, somethign that is more akin to the zombie "shooting a bean of necrotic damage in jelly form"
>This instantly makes one of us diseased with some nasty shit that caused strength and constitution loss
>oh shit
>The dead, dismembered zombies on the floor starts moving, body parts moving independently
>Hands, legs, feet, a mouth spitting rotten teeth
>The mad is on, round 2
>We have to kill the zombies more than once, sometimes 3 to 4 times
>The Cleric hits the Turn Undead button
>The zombies are affected but starts vomiting everywhere on their attempt to escape
>They flee to town
>Oh god, what have we done
>We attack the zombies that fight us as they try to escape
>They die, shatter, and several parts of their bodies still tries to flee
>It's not hard, but it is horrifying to watch
>One guy loses sanity
>Zombie body parts attack townsfolk
>A half-body vomits on a commoner, killign him instantly, creatign a new zombie
>Jesus fucking christ, we must stop this!
>Some of us climb a house and le parkour tossing alchemist fire on the fucking streets
>People are screaming, too much property damage, guards are summoned, they don't see the zombies, only us burning everything
>Guards unleash crossbow volley
>It's a nightmare
>We stop the zombies, but now we need to deal with guards
>We led them to the graveyard, trick them into a tomb, lock them in and then charm the shit out of them all
>We have to pay, fix and repair everything
And that's why we don't like necromancers
>>46641452
>as the barbarian is reduced to stomping the tiny pathetically weak spiders his weapon broken his boot suddenly shudders and he is thrown away
>the tiny swarm of spiders forms back into a dire spider.
>players flee
>days later reports come in about an army of spiders that keep growing.
>everyone blames players
>>46641452
>>46641682
These sound fucking terrific, I love how goddamn frantic they sound.
>>46641682
>So, we're on the Elf Queen palace. We stroll around the gardens, and we notice this arch made of twigs between two trees
>Of course we had to go through it
>We're on an enhanced version of the garden, probably the Feywild. This sounds bad
>On the distance there's a pixie playing with an acorn
>Not a magial acorn, or a jewel or anything. a normal acorn
>The fighter dwarf, cast The Jew, and decides that he wants that acorn
>He takes it from the pixie, who starts crying, the cries echoes for a great distance
>This don't sound right
>Suddenly the trees start moving
>Goddamn it!
>One tree kick the fighter that fly away and fall unconscious somewhere
>Somewhere is too much where
>The trees starts attacking us
>brambles, vines, roots, thors and spikes
>A tree summon flowers that causes the cleric to sleep
>Oh jesus fucking christ, the heal bot is down
>Panic
>We run, forget the cleric, coem back to get the cleric
>Fuck the fighter, trees chasing us, pixie shooting darts that cause halucinations, we're tripping balls
>Fuck those tress, sorcerer cast fireballs, instead a wild surge of the fey world causes his spell to become Summon Nature Ally
>The nature ally is a motherfucking unicorn. It is allied with the nature. Not us.
>It cast the jinxes
>We cursed, tripping balls, running for our lives with a comatose cleric being carried by the barbarian looking for the fucking dwarf that had to steal a fucking acorn
>We find the dwarf. He is naked, tied in a cross painted in blood where a group of angry Nymphs are casting a ritual or something
>Jesus fucking christ, why this keep happening to us
>Barbarian rages, dump the cleric and charge the nymphs
>I set the fighter free, he wakes up, grab his armor, stuff on his pack and run naked
>Barbarian fed off the Nymphs and join us, we're all running. There is the portal. We gonna make it!
>Then suddenly realization: we forgot the cleric
>FUCK
>Trees approaching. Barbarian dashes for the cleric while we defend ourselves
>D&D 3.5
>one week I'm the only one available
>DM decides he's going to send my character out solo to find some NPCs who went off to look for one of the plot artifacts a few sessions ago
>cool
>get some leads
>follow the leads
>find a wizard's tower
>there's a door at the base and a window at the top
>recall a month or two prior watching my friend play FFXII
For those who don't know, at some point in FFXII, you have to climb this ridiculously tall tower. Like, 200 something floors if I remember right. You don't actually go up every single floor, there are some jumps along the way, but it still takes a ridiculous amount of time to get through it. The entire time, I was laughing at my friend/roommate about it, wondering why they don't just take their airship to the top. Anyway, when you finally get to the top, two of the major villains enter through the HUGE WINDOW THAT WAS THERE ALL ALONG.
>no
>NO
>I AM NOT GOING TO BE THAT KIND OF CHUMP
>my character is a Swordsage
>activate a maneuver that's kind of like the Spider Climb spell
>walk right up the side of that tower and enter through the window
>bless my DM's heart, he didn't do anything to try and screw me
>there was some cool treasure and the plot relevant artifact
>neato
>walk back down the tower and enter through the door
>find the NPCs being stonewalled by a sphinx
>lead them out, let them know what went down
>they head back to base
>go back in and solve the sphinx's riddles just for fun
>>46642063
>Trees dish massive damage
>My rogue and the sorcer are paper people
>We're down
>Naked fighter goes to the rescue
>Axe the shit out of a tree, set another one on fire with alchemist fire
>Barbarian make it to the cleric
>She is naked, tied to a cross, painted in blood and the fuckign nymphs are performign a ritual on her
>Barbarian tackles a nymph down and throw her in a river like she was a basketball
>Cut the rope, grabs the cleric, takes her holy symbol, ignore the rest
>Meanwhile naked fighter is still fighting. he's clearly going to die
>The sorcerer familiar, a motherfucking frog named Jeb, ues a healing potion on the sorcerer
>The sorcerer wakes up and demand the fighter to just give the fucking acorn back
>The fighter complies, the pixie is satisfied, the trees go away
>That went better than expected
>They patch me up and we are together near the portal, when suddenly, the barbarian don't know any of this dashes in, bull rushing us all to the portal
>All the fighter equipment is left behind
>My short bow is left behind
>The cleric equipment is left behind
>The sorcerer magic staff is left behind
>The portal closes
>The cleric wakes up and wonders why the fuck she is naked. And so is the fighter
And that's why we don't like fairies
>>46634850
>nWoD VTR using the VTMB conversion kit.
>Play Malkavian who was a hobo preacher before being embraced that vocalizes his thoughts about stuff when singing gospel.
>Story was that we were neonates that had to clean up the mess the Daeva Prince had created when vampires started getting their ghouls sick and having it spread.
>Prince was a lesbian who's lipstick harem was contaminated by Morbus machinations.
>Make a southern blues style gospel about some of the events so far and had him sing it when we were in the sewers looking for the Morbus cell.
>Went like this.
>Tired of this shit with the capes, can't debate, the prince is a rep-ro-bate.
>All this doubletalk about a Mekhet streethawk, makes all the council gawk.
>Bulldagger's biting back cause the ghoul's blood running black, puts whole clans outta wack.
>Hole Sisters and Pole Brothers, shooting looks at one another.
>They're feeling the burn, cause a Morbus be turning tricks n' turns.
>Prince coming clean about the hoochie-cooch, and the ghouls gone got screwed like a pooch.
>After this we get our wish and have a niche for the service dish.
>Now they pay for their sinly ways, the Morbus dies today.
>Oh Lawd, it's a hunt naw naw.
>Hell to the law!
>Oh Lawd, it's a hunt naw naw naw naw!
