Gather round, /tg/ and let me tell you a tale of my first tabletop group I ever joined.
I'm relatively new to the hobby, only playing for 2 years now, but have always held an interest in it due to my love of stories and games. Two years ago my clinically depressed brain finally worked up the courage to go down to my local FLGS in order to play Pathfinder Society, because it was the only thing I could find.
Here I met what I came to know as the most repugnant players anyone could ever play with. There was no love in it, just powergaming and murderhobo'ing. One person would dominate the table because he walked on pins and cushions about everything. The other was some bitchy landwhale who would snap at you for damn near anything. Eventually we started a campaign and I thought we'd finally get to do some good roleplaying, and boy was I wrong.
For you see, /tg/, I have not told you about the worst of the lot. I kid you not when this guy probably weighs around 500 pounds. He is the fattest guy I have ever met in my fucking life. When the guy drops something he looks around the table waiting for someone to get it because he's so fucking fat. We'll call him Hamlord and he is the topic of this post.
I should have gotten a red flag when I first met Hamlord. He had this grating laugh that sounded like a mix of a hissing cat and nails against a chalkboard. He also would pride himself on being "a dick" and "a troll".
Hamlord is a power gamer of the worst ilk. Whenever he's playing a PC and tries to pull something off that shouldn't be allowed, he'll waste an hour of the groups time looking through the texts to debate this and complain if he is denied. When he DM'd however his primary goal was to wipe the party. Not to tell a story, not for us all to have fun. He wanted to kill peoples PCs because it gave him satisfaction. He had a set of dice that he used to DM that he called, "His precious" and before rolling he would whisper to them, "kill them. kill them. kill them. kill them."
He also ignores you if you bother him while he's eating. One night as I'm arriving he's sitting down having a conversation about Star Trek or some shit. I walk up and ask him if the seat next to him is taken. Hamlord looks back for a moment while stuffing his face full of Taco Bell and then turns back around. The seat wasn't taken by the way.
Of course this is all leading up to worst of it all.. When we started a campaign.
When we began our campaign, we used a Pathfinder AP and Hamlord was DM'ing. I began to devise a character only to find out how hamfisted and railroady he was. He did everything in his power to screw the party over, including finding ways for us to turn on each other. He wiped the group once and began sniggering like an autist.
Of course we all lost interest in that campaign, including him because he hates full-time GM'ing and instead another group member plans to DM in a few months. He tells me it's an all evil campaign and I start thinking up a rogue character to join the party who is a master of disguise and tell him about that immediately.
Several months go by and Hamlord learns of this campaign. A week before he comes out with his build... A rogue that is skilled in disguise. Of course he's not willing to change it, he only plays his way and expects other people to play around him, plus there was little to no care in it. And because I have had this character concept in my head for far too long I outright refuse to change mine.
So we end up with 2 rogues in the party. I of course try to make the best of this. I try working with him to pull off certain sneaky deeds, then I found out the new DM (One of the people I mentioned earlier in the thread), can't DM anything that's not murderhobo'ing.
Hamlord at this point has turned it into a contest where he's constantly trying to one-up me in everything. One night I was having extremely horrible luck and when I tried rolling to hit something he shouts, "DON'T ROLL A 1!" Ironically I do and he begins laughing in that cat-hissing, chalkboard-scratching laugh of his for like a minute. Eventually, because he wants to be the only rogue in the party, despite the fact that I had this planned out long before he did, he finds a way to try and get me killed by stirring up trouble with some local guards. This almost kills me sure enough, and he knows this as he's snickering in the corner watching me squirm, but I get out. He then gets attacked by those same guards and tries to get me to help him, when I refuse he gets butthurt as if I was the one who wronged him and tried to get him killed. This childish behavior from him eventually killed yet another campaign for the group.
The only campaign that managed to survive was DM'd by the only competent player in there, and even then it suffered from his aspergers. Whether it was throwing a fit because the party formation wasn't exactly how he wanted it until he got his way. There was also another time my character fell under a genderswap curse, during which Hamlord was making remarks about how he was going to rape my character now.
These are just some specific things though. Maybe I should mention that he would more than once not show up without telling anyone in the group about it, or how when he had to roll up a character in a Heroes Unlimited game, which randomizes your superpowers, he would adamantly refuse the rolls he got until he got EXACTLY what he wanted so he could powergame his character.
I don't think I've even touched a master of disguise build since. I have no drive to do so after all that competitive power-gaming bullshit. People like this are a disgrace to the hobby and I have since moved on from that godawful group.
Also "That Guy" thread, I guess.
>>45514385
>randomised superpowers
That is pretty shit though, just sayin'
Hamlord sounds like a prick but I wouldn't say he's the worst That Guy. At least he wasn't a klepto or actually tried to rape you in a filthy FLGS toilet or something.
>>45514615
I know it's shit. The fact is none of us complained about what we got and were good sports about it. He couldn't enjoy it unless he was powergaming it, even if that meant breaking the rules.
Wait, is that it? He's deeply unpleasant, but that's kind of an anticlimax for the king of "that guy". Am I just jaded?
I am fortunate enough to have a group that is at least halfway decent.
>>45514735
Character rape isn't a fitting climax? I could go on, man. The cunt taunted people when they're character died and came up with some horrible end for them. When we were both PCs and the DM had a chance to kill me when I was unconscious and chose not to he chimed in with a "DO IT" while stuffing his mouth full of taco bell and sprayed crumbs all over the table
>>45514735
Probably a little.
>>45514735
Yeah, I was kind of underwhelmed too. 5/10 would not screencap.
>>45514877
>>45514877
I think it was your delivery. It just kind of went "Yeah, he was a cunt, he copied my rogue and also he said he would rape my character". You gotta put more flair into it than that.
I mean shit, this is storytelling 101.
>>45514963
Perhaps so. The actions themselves were deplorable but I should have painted a more vivid image I suppose. At the very least it was nice to have an audience listen and agree with me about how much of a cunt he is
>>45514877
Of course it's an anticlimax. You didn't provide us with a satisfying conclusion explaining how he eventually got his cunt comeuppance.
>>45515192
>No comeuppance
Welcome to the real world.
>>45515233
>>45515192
>>45515182
At least a good storm-out tale with some flair would have helped you out a lot.
>>45515192
>>45515233
His comeuppance comes from the fact that his group is slowly dying because no one wants to put up with his shit and that no one will attend his funeral after he dies of a heart attack in the next few years
>>45514615
>rape you in a lgs toilet
Kool-aidBro never 4get
>>45514877
>thinking rape is actually that bad
tumblr plz go
>>45514615
I think that sounds fun. I typically am not a fan of randomness in character creation, but once in a while I like one shot games where you need to work with what you get. The latest Gamma World is a good example.
>>45515313
I missed this one, anybody got a screencap?
>>45515317
>subjugation
>humiliation
>pain
>fear
>guise, it's not that bad, and if you disagree with me you're an sjw :^)
>>45516114
That was bait, Anon. Look at what you've gotten yourself into.
>>45516278
well you're the first response, and it isn't a shit-flinging contest yet. It coulda gone worse.
>>45516114
>it's a really terrible experience that people hate
>that's why it's so many people's fetish
you're a retard
>>45516384
Don't respond to it, Anon!
To stay on topic I don't really have any serious "That Guy" stories.
A campaign I was in once ended due to a friend deciding he'd rather play WoW than fulfill any obligation to the group.
There is this one guy I just met in a new group who told me a story about how in a prior campaign his Druid turned into a bear and raped an assassin to get info out of her when she wouldn't talk. That was pretty cringey, but so think his prior group were probably just bad. He seems like a beta that probably just went along with it.
>>45516416
Please, for me, make an effort to realize that real life rape and Mon Musu Quest are not one and the same
>>45515182
At least it is so tame that I actually kind of believe that it happened, as opposed to most stories.
>>45515864
I would also like to know about this story please
>>45514318
>he walked on pins and cushions about everything
Sounds comfy.
>>45519207
>>45515864
>>45515313
I'll third this... Screencap anyone?
>>45514735
Honestly, generally unpleasant people can be the worst.
Rather than a spear point of bad which makes you quit, it's a miasma of awfulness
>Enter group
>4th level
>Roll 17, 12, 12, 10, 8, 8
>"Guess I'll roll a wizard"
>GM "You're new in town, what do you do? btw, it's midnight"
>"I guess I'll go to an inn and stay there for the night, btw, I cast alarm"
>GM "While you're sleeping a group of face covered dudes awake you but they're to fass and knock you out"
>"B-but alarm?"
>GM "Doesn't work"
>"B-but immediate SLA that might help"
>GM "Doesn't work, they're too fast, anyway, you awoke in a cell, in front of you 3 guys, two with xbows, the leader tells one to shoot you, you're now at 1 HP, and tells you this is as a warning. Ok, now I go with the other players"
>Spends 1 hour with them
>"Can I do something?"
>GM "Do you want to get shot again?"
>After half hour I leave
>They act surprise
>Even more surprised, or at least that's what I understood from the emails, that I'm not going to return
Fuck this fucking group
>>45514963
>You gotta put more flair into it than that.
>I mean shit, this is storytelling 101.
Right, especially for shit that never happened.
>>45522623
>>"B-but alarm?"
>>GM "Doesn't work"
>>"B-but immediate SLA that might help"
>>GM "Doesn't work, they're too fast,
Instant granting of That DM status. I hate this shit. I can understand why DMs do it, but in my games I'd rather let my players derail my plot entirely than stoop to a "the cell door is indestructible" level of fiat.
>hurr burgers be sammiges
Fuck you captcha.
>you're a caster? Antimagic fields everywhere, yep, even when you're low level as fuck
>rogue? Elementals, constructs, undeads, oozes and plants campaign
>paladin? So many imposible choices that all lead to falling
>fighter? Rust fucking monsters
>even monk? You're always at medium load because
>etc
This was a long time ago, I was new in the hobby and stayed for years, never had fun, thought that was how role playing games were about, and stopped playing them for years, now I remember this and I don't laugh
>>45522849
It's not like it would even be difficult to work around if you insisted on capturing the PC
>alarm is triggered but the kidnappers are too numerous/powerful for the PC to have a realistic chance of resisting
wow that was hard
>>45522849
> HURR MEAT BETWEEN BRED AINT A SAMMICH COMPUTER
>>45521031
I love this awkward weirdo. I can't find the cap of it, but he also had to uncomfortably watch two of his friends have sex from within a closet, and then after they found out they tried to rope him into a threesome. Asked while they were driving him around in a car.He jumped out.
If you are still out there, Kool-AidBro, stay strong, in spirit and in body.
>>45514735
Yeah, it's weird when one of these sounds like something that actually happened with real awful people.
Not nearly as climatic as made up nonsense.
The biggest That Guy I ever encountered was for a Fate (Stay Night/Zero/Extra/etc) campaign where he tried to make this extremely overpowered abomination.
His defense when called out on it was to cite death of the author in that, because he believes Nasu is a shit writer, he should be allowed to disregard and completely violate the laws of canon (the very first for this character was that he was older than Gilgamesh) as he pleases and we should just accept him.
I can go into more detail if you want.
>>45523716
Because making the player sit there and do absolutely nothing for 1 and a half hour was totally ok, right?
>>45514318
Your choice of OP pic made me read all that in his voice.
So thanks for that.
>>45514385
>my character fell under a genderswap curse, during which Hamlord was making remarks about how he was going to rape my character now.
...I'm not going to continue reading anymore
I can't anon
I just fucking can't
>>45523043
>the only way that I can challenge my players is by denying them to play
This happens so often
>he'll waste an hour of the groups time looking through the texts to debate this and complain if he is denied
Just say no and move on. Just continue to run the game and move on while he pants and wheezes over books and misses the game.
> When he DM'd however his primary goal was to wipe the party.
Don't participate in games hes running.
Hmmm I think I just solved like 90% of these That Guy or That GM problems.
>>45515317
Here's you reply.
>>45529264
Go ahead anon
The biggest Guy I ever played with was a really dumb street sammy in a SR campaign. He always wore this pointless re-breather that made us even more recognizable than runners already are.
He would waste a ton of session time trying to make edgy speeches to NPCs about his oh-so-dark backstory and when we were finally starting to get some real money together to try and take over the city with a puppet politician he suddenly reveals he's been dumping all his cash into a huge fucking bomb. The player even claimed it was his plan all along and that we should have paid attention to his backstory.
I left the game and the wings fell off it shortly afterward. I think he managed to pull one poor soul from the wreckage and still games with him, but fuck if I care.
>>45514339
>this guy probably weighs around 500 pounds
If that was true, he wouldn't be able to get into cars. He would get stuck in doorways. He'd probably be unable to walk. He'd most likely have grotesque physical deformities in one or more limbs. Even the fattest people you see out on the street are not 500 lbs, unless maybe they're Samoans.
>>45531420
I believe it. There was a teacher at my high school who was about that size.
IIRC he was actually a decent dude. Just fat as all hell.
Man I'm really getting tired of these copy-paste 'le fat man/woman who murders/rapes other people' that guy stories.
