Warmaster Horus himself as chosen you to be his first victim in his path to destroy the Imperium again! But the Emperor has sent you a weapon that you can use to fight Horus back! Are you going to survive the encounter?
http://www.miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator
>>48259377
>Flamer
>Additional Traits: Instant Death, Scoped (+1 BS), Rending
I don't think that this going to matter too much as Horus is stronk.
>>48259377
>Heavy Bolter with Ignores Cover
I'm fucked, but I might be able to scratch some paint from his armor if I'm insanely lucky.
>>48259450
Sorry about that,
>Ork Choppa
>S User, AP -
>Additional Traits: Tesla
Whelp, i'm fucked aren't I?
>>48259377
>Eldar Witchblade
>Lexicanum Only. S User, AP -, Armourbane, Fleshbane
>Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Unrefined (-1 S)
Hurl it at him & run to obtain something better.
>>48259480
>>48259489
Hey, I'm the flamer guy. Maybe you, me, and the heavy bolter dude can try to gang up on Horus so our efforts are equally pathetic by themselves.
>>48259495
Ok, picture this, 3 space maries (or guardsmen I don't care) where 1 is armed with a flamer that has a scope, another is just holding an ork choppa with a testa coil ductaped on, and one with a heavy bolter.
>>48259526
Hopefully the sight of it makes Horus not take us seriously and murderize us too soon.
Power Maul
Additional Traits: Timewarp (+1 I), Gauss
Tell my parents I love them, lads.
>>48259377
>Cyclone Missile Launcher
>Additional Traits: Refined (+1 S), Interceptor
Oh boy!
>>48259543
He would probably chuckle and say something in the line of: "I'll kill you lot last"
>Hellfire Shells
Ok does someone have a gun I put these in?
>>48259552
That gives us enough time to prepare for the brutalizing to come. Aim for the face.
A custard pie. Thrown right at his fat stupid face, while shouting "FOR DA EMPRAA!"
>Power Maul
>Additional Traits: Fleshbane
Still fucked, but I can maybe give him a headache or something before he shreds me to pieces
Can I just team up with you three? I got a big hammer.
>>48259568
Give it to the Heavy Bolter guy. He needs them more than you.
>>48259582
At this rate everyone needs to gang up on him until someone brings in something good or hilariously OP.
>>48259377
Well I got a soul razor Meltagun with +1 Strength and Phasing Hits... so... I suppose that's about as good as I'm going to get, provided he gives me a free shot.
Power Fist
Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play)
This might give me a chance...
>>48259377
>Necron Tesseract Labyrinth
>One use only. Instead of close combat attacks use this. Choose model in base contact. Target must take a Wound Test or Remove From Play.
Well, that's certainly a way to do it.
>Locator beacon
>>48259552
Can I join you guys or am I too pathetic?
>>48259495
Hey don't worry, I need ablative wounds to form a tarpit so I'll team up with my soul razing Meltagun.
Combi grav
Additional Traits: Sniper, Tank Hunter
>>48259617
We need something to give our remains' location away.
>>48259604
>>48259612
>>48259616
These guys seem like the likeliest winners.
Plasma cannon
Additional Traits: Instant Death, Force
Ok this MIGHT give him a fleshwound
I'm just imagining a chapter of space marines armed with necron, eldar, ork and imperial weaponry.
So when does the inquisition kill us all off?
>>48259670
>So when does the inquisition kill us all off?
Why do you think we got the mission to kill Horus
Chainsword
Additional Traits: Refined (+1 S), Haywire, Tank Hunter
>>48259418
>scoped flamethrower
>>48259678
Seriously, this. MUH PENITENT CRUSADE!
C’Tan Phase Sword
Melee Weapon. S User, AP 2, Phasing Hits (To Wounds of 6 ignore Invulnerable Saves, and cause Instant Death).
BRING IT!!
>>48259670
They'd have to go through Horus first. I think that they'd let it slide considering who we're going to attempt to use it on.
>>48259678
>>48259691
Or this.
>>48259689
For when you have to find any small details before you get up close and personal.
>Auspex
Well, according to my Auspex scanner he is just a few meters in front of us, and he is closing in.
>Tau Heavy Rail Rifle
>Terminators Only. 60", S 8, AP 1, Heavy 1
>Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play), Armourbane, Twin-Linked
Bah gawd.
>Iron Halo
Lets fucking do this
>Shotgun
>Additional Traits: Poisoned, Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range)
Thank the God-Emperor they taught us kiting in the Progenium.
>>48259617
Speaking as Heavy Bolter guy, I deem you just pathetic enough to join our crew of misfit lunatics. Welcome aboard!
>>48259831
Noone is more pathetic than me!
>>48259849fuck forgot the name
>Ork Choppa
>S User, AP -
>Additional Traits: Unwieldy, Monster Hunter
Based Orks, I knew they'd come through. Stand aside lads.
LEAVE HORUS TO ME
Our merry band of misfits actually has something of a chance now.
>Auspex
Gee, thanks Empy. Guess i'm expected to hack his armor or some shit.
Power Maul
Additional Traits: Blind, Specialist Weapon
Ok, I have 1 question. First, excluding the fact that I might not be able to wield it, HOW CAN A FREAKING GIANT HAMMER BE BLIND?! DOES IT MAKE ME BLIND INSTEAD?
>Cyclone Missile Launcher
>Additional Traits: Scoped (+1 BS), >Master-crafted, Quickened (+1 A)
>>48259859
So, is this now a group of misfit Space Marines go off to slay Horus thread now? Because I'm down for that.
>>48259377
>Ork Power Klaww - Sx2, AP 1, Unwieldy
As long as Horus roll some shitty dice I should be alright!
>>48259377
> But the Emperor has sent you a weapon that you can use to fight Horus back!
> Teleport Homer
I don't know, but I have faith.
>>48259943
We should get a drawfag in here
Thunderhammer with fleshbane and poisoned. Can I join guys?
>>48259377
>Lascannon
>Additional Traits: Blunted Range (-6" Range), Rending
Hmm.
Hmmmmm.
Hmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Welp, I'm fucked.
>>48259831
Are you still taking applicants? If I'm to die, I wish it to be surrounded by people equally as crazy as myself.
>>48259985
Sure thing.
>>48259983
I think that would take way to long.
>>48259985
Hmm, that weapon may do actual damage to the Warmaster, and as such my not be pathetic enough to join our merry band. What say you my brothers?
>>48259998
Flamer Guy here. Applicants are still being taken in.
>>48260017
I'd say let him in.
>>48259998
>Blunted Range
I deem you adequately pathetic, welcome brother!
>>48259963
I am pretty sure I am used as bait for an ambush. What an holy duty.
What use can I do if we work as a team?
>>48260048
What we'll all do brother. Attack him all at once and hope the combined weight of our pathetic-ness will destroy this great evil!
>>48259377
Dark Eldar Shadow Field
2+ invulnerable, but the first failed invulnerable save destroys this wargear
I juke him until space mehreens arrive.
>>48260048
Everyone who has ranged weapons should just open fire on him. Once we're out of ammo, and he's losing his sides from that display you melee Gitz should start wailing on him. He'll either be softened up from the barrage a little, laughing too hard to focus on the you guys, or he dies from laughter.
>>48260026
I would like to join this space marine equivalent to Bad company, and I will submit
>EMP Grenades
As my résumé.
Let's hope the Warmaster is secretly a robot.
>>48259377
> Melta Bombs
For the Emperor, may he receive me to his side in death.
>>48260048
If I hit him in the head, the light from my shot might blind him for a few moments, then you can rush in and hack at his knees.
>>48259377
Never noticed he had an eye on his crotch
>>48260105
It'll probably mess with his armor a little.
>>48259799
second item
>Boltgun
>Additional Traits: Soulraze
Thats about how Horus died last time
Now lets mathhammer everything we got so far and see if we'll at least ruined his paintjob.
>>48260128
And now I know where to direct all of my fire, thanks!
Fear denies faith
I just put up a request on the Drawthread, so hopefully something will come of that.
>>48259568
You have to sneak up on him from behind and stick them in his pooper.
Necron Tesla Carbine
24", S 5, AP -, Assault 1, Tesla
Additional Traits: Gets Hot, Concussive, Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range)
wha the
Eldar Webway Portal
Gain Deep Strike. Will not scatter when arriving. Can bring up to two other models with him and arrive as a "unit"
RUN NIGGERS RUUUUUUN
This seems pretty good but how do I get up to him without him shooting me?
>inb4 hurr phoneposter
>>48259377
>teleport homer
fug
Terminators incoming
>>48259568
Are they fitted for a standard Mars Pattern Heavy Bolter?
Power fist, Instant death.
The emperor wants me to nip this in the bud before shit gets out of hand, and I shall oblige
Lascannon with extended rifle, rending and refined
>>48259582
Every Marine of sufficiently pathetic armaments are more than welcome to join this mad Crusade brother!
A lot of these results have soul razor. I guess if it worked before it'll work again.
Power Fist
Additional Traits: Quickened (+1 A), Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8"))
HOY HOY HOY
>>48260396
>power fist
>thrown
ROCKET PUNCH!
wew lad
>>48259377
>Lightning Claw
>Additional Traits: Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play)
I presume he has a shitload of Ld.
>>48260038
Be the bait for all the fags that got shitty weapons to ambuhs horus.
>>48259377
>Plasma cannon
>Additional Traits: Concussive, Lance
Could be worse, I might get lucky and actually slow him down to an extent perceptable to your average Space Marine, Or I could get even luckier and just blow myself up firing at him.
>>48259377
>Necron Tesla Carbine
>24", S 5, AP -, Assault 1, Tesla
>Additional Traits: Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range), Blind
>>48259377
>Locator Beacon
>Additional Traits: None
I'm screwed.
>>48260863
Not once you stand with the Pathetic Marines brother!
>Eldar D-Scythe with Tesla and Pinning
Thanks, Emps! Kinda weird giving me a xenos weapon, though.
>>48260875
Maybe I can throw it at him and give him a nice bruise on his exposed cranium before I get torn into bloody pieces.
>>48260878
Anon, we have Gitz with Cron, Ork, and Eldar weapons. Join the club.
>>48260852
>>48260325
I don't even think I can possibly hurt that monstrous son of a bitch with this Heavy Bolter Guy am I in?
Grav-gun with ignore cover
Does that even do anything?
>>48260987
Of course brother! The Emperor has ordained us all with this holy task, and each of us Pathetic Marines has his part to play!
(OOC would anyone like to hear the headcannon I'm writing for these guy's as the thread goes on?)
>>48261037
Sure, share it!
Brothers! I wish to crusade with you all!
> Grav-pistol
> Additional Traits: Twin linked, Armourbane
>Lightning Claw
>Armourbane and Rending
Thanks Emperor
>>48261046
Awesome, I'll get that up right now.
>>48261037
Thank you, Glorious Battle Brother
GATHER ROUND MY BROTHERS AND HEAR THE TALE OF THE EMPERORS LEAST FAVORED SONS, THE HEROS KNOWN AS THE THE PATHETIC MARINES:
None know when the call came, only that it did. It was said that across the galaxy, for the Damocles Gulf to the Eye of Terror, that the Emperors Angles of Death beheld a vision of their long dead lord. That the Emperor would speak to His greatest warriors on such a scale was unheard of, and one would think that His stagnated Imperium would weep with joy. This was not the case, for those He spoke to were not believed until it was far to late for them to explain. For while the Emperor spoke to each Chapter of His Space Marines, only one amongst each of them was so blessed. And He did not speak to the greatest of them, nor to the wisest. Not the strongest, or the most cunning. Not the fastest or the bravest. No, the Emperor of All Mankind, in all of His benevolence and boundless wisdom, spoke to the lowliest and least memorable of His Marines, the one most pathetic of each Chapter. It will never be known what the Emperor said His most Pathetic Sons, but from their battle cries and snatched bits of Vox communications, we can devise the Knowledge that was bestowed upon them.
(Good so far? Don't worry, I've got more left.)
>>48261306
Yea keep on going
>>48261306
Keep going, brother.
>>48261306
This is brilliant. Please brother, continue.
>>48260878 Here, requesting to join the Pathetic Marines.
>Signum
I didn't even get a fucking gun.
>>48261514
What's a Signum anyways?
Combi flamer with blind and tank hunter
How fucked am I?
>>48261530
According to Lexicanum.com
>The Signum is a special communication device which allows the user to access a myriad of useful battlefield targeting data and pass that information on to their companions, allowing for more accurate and coordinated fire.
It's basically a man-portable targeting computer.
>>48259377
>Lightning Claw
>Armorbane, Instant Death, Quickened
So... I guess I stand a ghost of a chance?
>>48259568
You wait for the guy with the gun to die, if course. Then you'll have the gun and the ammunition.
>>48261530
It's an item on Devastator Sargent which allow a model to shoot with 5BS once per shooting phase
>>48261306
Though none but the Ones Most Pathetic will ever know the true words He spoke, but scholars of Terra herself proclaim it was said as follows:
"MY SONS AND WARRIORS, I CALL NOW TO THE LOWEST AND WEAKEST AMONG YOU, THAT YOU MIGHT KNOW THE TASK SET BEFORE YOU. YOU ARE THE WEAKEST AND TRULY THE MOST PATHETIC OF ALL WHO BEAR THE GENE-SEED OF YOUR FATHERS, THE ONES WOULD DIE WITHOUT GLORY OR NAMES. WERE IT NOT THAT I HAD NEED OF EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOUR PATHETIC SOULS, YOU WOULD HAVE ALL OF YOU DIED ALONE AND UNREMEMBERED. BUT THAT FATE IS ONE YOU WILL NO LONGER FULFILL. YOU WILL ALL RETREAT TO YOUR CHAPTER ARMORY AND TAKE UP THE FIRST PIECE OF WARGEAR THAT FALLS BEFORE YOUR GAZE. BE IT A WEAPON OF TRUE GLORY OR A SIMPLE BOX OF AMMUNITION, BE IT PERFECTION WROUGHT BY HUMAN HANDS OR AN ABOMINATION OF XENOS DESIGN. YOU WILL TAKE WHAT YOU FIND ,AND ONE SHIP OF YOUR CHOOSING, AND MEET WITH YOUR NEWFOUND BROTHERS AT THE EYE OF TERROR. NOW GO MY SONS, MY ONES MOST PATHETIC, AND LET YOUR ENEMIES KNOW THAT EVEN WARRIORS AS PATHETIC AS YOU WILL KNOW NO FEAR."
>>48261514
I decided to reroll five times to get something else.
Roll #5 was a fucking locator beacon.
Hopefully this is because I used up all my good luck on my interview this morning.
>>48261603
There's still more, just need a minute.
>>48261306
>>48261603
1d4chan page when?
>Combi-Grav
>Melta
>+6" Range
If that melta is for both barrels, that'd be sweet. Not sure that'd be a game-changer, but it'd still be a fight worth doing.
>>48259377
>Locator Beacon
Someone halP!
>>48259377
Grav-cannon
Additional Traits: Master-crafted, Tesla
I hope I can actually get to point this thing in the right direction.
>>48261660
IT IS OKAY, BROTHER, STAY WHERE YOU ARE, THE BEACON SHALL LEAD US TO YOU.
>>48261603
Write on, space cowboy.
>>48259377
>Digital Weapons
I'm basically useless
Also is this turning into one of those rare instances where /tg/ might get shit done?
>>48261770
A request was made in the Drawthread, but I doubt the Drawfriends could handle a request with 47 Pathetic Marines at this point.
Missile Launcher
Additional Traits: Quickened (+1 A), Concussive, Interceptor
TIME TO GO DOOMGUY ON THIS CUNT
>>48261808
With any hopes he/she/it could just do the first ones?
>>48261770
Welcome aboard brother, your digital weapons may yet help our brother wielding the Testla choppa. Together you will be a mighty force of patheticness.
>>48261822
If they do it then that's who's probably going to be in it.
>>48259377
>Hellfire Rounds
lol no
![$_1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jmaxI4I.jpg "$_1[1].jpg")
>>48259377
>Locator Beacon
Might as well shove the bloody thing into my eyeball and kill myself.
>>48259703
Dark Eldar Hexrifle
36", S X, AP 4, Assault 1, Sniper, Arcane Payload (i.e. Precision Shot = Instant Death)
Additional Traits: Scoped (+1 BS)
I'll cover you, brother.
>>48261856
>eyeball
Not your rectum?
>>48261603
And so the Emperor Least favored sons set about their task. Across the Imperium, the One Most Pathetic of his Chapter set about the great quest set before them. Each of them left all that they had, save for their armor and their faith, and found what the Emperor had given them. True to their name, the Ones Most Pathetic found a maddening and in many cases bewildering artifact to take with them one their new Crusade. Some found simple weapons, a heavy bolter, a flamer, or even a simple auspex. Others found items stranger still, Xenos weapons like choppas and Tesla Carbines, and artifacts of unknowable potential to the lowly brothers who took the up. You may wonder, "however could Space Marines so pathetic take up these sacred treasures and Xeno creations?" And that is something we may ask until the end of time itself. Those who claim to have witnessed the Taking of the Gift, as the event was later know, say that each Marine merely walked strait into their Chapters armory from wherever they happened to be. Danger seemed to avoid them, security systems from the Dark Age of Technology granted them passage without issue. Soon, each of the Ones Most Pathetic had taken his Gift, and each made his own way to the Eye, each knowing in his hearts and soul where to go.
>>48259377
>Necron Staff of Light
Maybe I can scratch the armor a little
>>48259377
>Power Lance
>Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8"))
lel
>>48261881
And go right into Slaanesh hell? Fuck that.
>Genestealer Claw
>S User, AP 5, Rending
>Additional Traits: Force, Shred
What the fuck. On the other hand, another xeno race! Who's missing?
>>48259377
Necron Tesla Carbine
24", S 5, AP -, Assault 1, Tesla
Additional Traits: Extended Barrel (+6" Range), Shred
So I can pester him until he loses his temper, walks over, and shreds me. Collect as many of my parts as possible for my family please.
This thread is the best thread on /tg/ in a long time
Cyclone Missile Launcher
Additional Traits: Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range), Melta, Blind, Shred
I might make him balder with this
>>48259377
Necron Gauss Blaster
24", S 5, AP 4, Rapid Fire, Gauss
Additional Traits: Torrent (Non-flamer weapons add 12" to their range), Force, Blind
I... I mean I can get lucky if I start shooting from about two miles away, right?
>>48261910
well, seen as genestealers tear trough terminator armor like paper, it's really not bad
>>48262007
What about the Woomastha of K-osss?
>Locator Beacon
Send halp.
I got a Tau Neutron Blaster with instant death and gets hot.
I want to fire it, but I'm afraid to fire it...
>>48262081
You're going to die either way
Really should try to damage horus before
>>48262007
I'll swap if you want.
>>48262111
i'm not him though, was the second or third guy who gut hellfire rounds
>>48261886
And the soon christened Pathetic Marines found their ways to the Eye, each bringing a ship no less mismatched from the others than their weaponry. Each Pathetic Marine knew the exact point in space from which to begin their crusade, and each headed to it heedless of his new brothers around him. And, in what call only be described as a true miracle of the Emperor, all survived the ensuing calamity. Each and every ship collided with it's brothers at the same moment, and not one destroyed itself. No, for those ships became the new and forever home of the Pathetic Marines, the Space Hulk BASTION OF WEAKNESS. After the devastating birth of the knew Hulk, the Pathetic Marines came together, shorn of their old colors and loyalties, to proclaim their newfound purpose. Replacing their individual Chapter marks and colors, the Ones Most Pathetic took up their own banner (colors and heraldry undecided as of now). Each Marine also forsook the name given to him, whether from Chapter or birth. Every Pathetic Marine took up the name of his Gift, and the took their crusade into the heart of Chaos itself.
>>48262098
*g-gulp*
For the Emperor!
>Pulls trigger
>>48259377
Lascannon
Additional Traits: Night Vision, Instant Death
I'm fine, just need to prepare a small ambush
>>48262129
All of my yes
I got two tau drones, one shield, one marker. I'm going to six them on him and run.
*sic
>>48259377
> Melta bombs
I'll see you boys in Spain
>>48259377
>Necron Tesseract Labyrinth
>One use only. Instead of close combat attacks use this. Choose model in base contact. Target must take a Wound Test or Remove From Play.
YOLO
I think together we may be capable of drowning him in our collective blood as he mutilates us horribly.
>>48262258
Hod does it work?
>>48259377
>Tyranid Bonesword
>S User, AP 3, Lifedrain (Instant Death on To Wound of 6)
>Additional Traits: Concussive, Poisoned
Upside: I can insta-kill him if I hit just right.
Downside: I, an untrained human, have to close to melee range with an 18 foot tall god of war who has the Ruinous Powers empowering him.
What could possibly go wrong?
>Necron Staff of Light
>12", S5, AP 3, Assault 3
>Additional Traits: Shred
Did I do the winning yet?
Hey, can I get a stick to tie my claw to? Not that I'm complaining about the Emperor's gift, but it's kinda weird to hold that thing jist in my hand.
Not that it would help against the archtraitor, but it would be nice to have longer reach too
>>48262286
It's like a super pokeball essentially. It sucks whoever you target into an indestructible pocket dimension forever.
What the fuck is a Nebuloscope and does it ignoring cover help in any way?
I haven't played 40k since 4th edition and literally don't know what this is.
>>48262289
I thought primarchs were only 3 metres tall not fucking giants
Necron Staff of Light
12", S5, AP 3, Assault 3
Additional Traits: Skyfire, Lance, Blind
How fucked am I? Will I get him before i freeze to death?
>>48262318
Eye I have a Necron Staff of Light brother
>>48262313
So that means I won't be horribly killed by Horus? Maybe some of you guys could run at him, so I could activate it.
>>48262352
I got you brother
>>48259377
>Necron Tesseract Labyrinth
>Target must take Wound Test or removed from
I don't know shit about 40k, is this thing useful? Sounds like a Save-or-Die effect and I doubt that's gonna work against bloody Hours.
But them, maybe I just saved the Imperium by throwing a box at someone's face.
>>48259377
Necron Phase Shifter
4+ invulnerable, and can pass through models and terrain without penalty.
I can escape if nothing else.
>>48259377
>Locator Beacon
I'm Anon, and Welcome to jackass
>Eldar Webway Portal
>Gain Deep Strike. Will not scatter when arriving. Can bring up to two other models with him and arrive as a "unit"
Well I guess I'm transportation logistics for this Crusade to No Where.
>>48259377
>Auspex
Welp, death was good enough for Ollanius Pius, it's good enough for me.
>>48262129
And there are those of you who would wonder, "But why would such cruel words from the Master of Mankind spawn such fervor, such unyielding devotion in those He favored least? Surely such scorn would drive His most loyal servants into the deepest despair?" And to you who doubt the Emperor, and who doubt His Least favored, I say this: you did not hear His voice, you did not here how He spoke those word you call scornful. You did not hear His pride, His paternal affection that gave us our faith. You did not hear His benevolent patients in His weakest sons, or His sorrow in what He had asked of us. For we may be His Least Favored, but know that we are His Most Worthy."
-Heavy Bolter Guy, Most Pathetic of Them All, Most Worthy of Them All, Chapter Master of the Pathetic Marines.Formerly Atticuss Sackituss of the Ultramarines.
To Lord High Inquisitor Marietta Von Brundervane of the Ordo Hereticus, shortly before having every Marine under his command flood the Vox channel with the same message, at the same time:
"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU CRAZY INNOCENT BURNING WITCH!"
Shortly before jumping into the Warp, laughing like madmen the entire way.
>>48262392
The story behind how the most pathetic fof marines got a Web way portal would be the funniest thing in the entirety of 40k
Bolt pistol
Additional Traits: Gets Hot
Really makes you think
>>48262430
You sir are indeed the most pathetic of us marines
>>48262411If you are ever going to mention the mighty testla choppa marine than please do so, write whatever you feel might fit
>>48262430
Is that the weapon getting hot, or just the bearer getting horribly incinerated by a chortling demigod?
>>48262455
I personally vote for the demigod and the marine just has an immense amount of luck and hasn't got himself killed yet
>>48262455
In a world with machine spirits, what's the difference?
>>48259377
>Chainsword
>Additional Traits: Haywire
Thanks.
>>48262447
I was only trying to write our backstory, I haven't thought out any named characters. Or our color scheme. Maybe each Pathetic Marine can make his own legend?
(OOC I don't want to step on anyone's toe's, everyone should play make their Pathetic Marine however they want. But I will write up some standard facts about the Chapter in a minute or two.)
just gonna stick these here, and here and here and all over horus
also can anyone help a necron player out. ive been looking for an inage that was a quote about how the galaxy was dead and peacful and silent and shit, i think it was a discontinued poster but it was perfect phone wallpaper height kthxbye
>>48262525
Shotgun being devastator company captain
>>48262326
>>48262364
If we tie our staffs end to end and all three of us use it like a really long pike we might be ok
>>48262565
Good idea you lead the charge I'll stay in the back for uh...
Just get in the front
Genestealer Claw
S User, AP 5, Rending
Additional Traits: Fleshbane, Refined (+1 S), Unrefined (-1 S), Timewarp (+1 I)
no because in the time it takes me to take a step towards me horus has already killed me
>>48262593
In that case, can I get your claw? It would look better if I have two of them
>>48262687
of course brother, I can distract Horus while you claw him to death
>>48262525
Fun facts about the Pathetic Marines:
All of them seem possessed with a mad glee that can only be described as somewhere between madness and divine ecstasy. (from having their god speak to them personally)
They appear and disappear from the material realm seemingly on a whim, rushing madly towards the greatest threats on the battlefield, and more often then not destroying it. (Like the Legion of the Damned, except corporeal and more ridiculous)
Also like the aforementioned Legion, they fight as a Chapter, with all Pathetic Marines deployed together to fight as one.
As such, teamwork and group synergy are some of the most important tenets to the Pathetic Marines, even if long range communications are difficult.
The Bastion of Weakness, Space Hulk and Chapter Monastery, seems to be possessed by beings of good fortune, as it seems to move and fight of it's own will. (As there are no Chapter serfs to pilot her, and no one knows where the controls would be)
Every Pathetic Marine see's his fellows as more than brothers of blood, but brothers of the soul, and as such they fight with greater short range cooperation and friendship than almost any standard Space Marine Chapter.
>>48259377
Lascannon
Additional Traits: Melta
At least I can keep my distance and try to snipe him, unless he gets close. I'm guessing melta weapons have little to no effect on primarch armors?
Plasma Cannon
Melta, Refined (+1 S)
Make way people! I'm gonna paint his armor with hot blue shiny matter!
>>48259377
>http://www.miniwargaming.com/deathwatch_itemgenerator
Necron Staff of Light
12", S5, AP 3, Assault 3
Additional Traits: Poisoned, Scoped (+1 BS), Tesla
Ha I get a Necron weapon. If I have some time to practice so I know how to use, it I think I might be able to survive, if I'm lucky.
>>48262525
If this is still alive when I wake up, I'll probably do something for myself, this thread has actually made me want to write something. Also this>>48262759 is great. den/den
>>48262376
It basically traps the target in a pocket dimension, I don't know whether or not it's escapable from inside.
>>48262407
But will you make a badass speech before you're utterly obliterated?
>>48262759
Wow amazing job, keep it going!
Power maul
Trait: Instant Death
Ok, loyalis/tg/uardsmen, can this be useful?
>>48262951
If you're going against Horus, you should probably hope the Instant Death is your own.
Thunderhammer
Additional Traits: Blind
I will guide us to victoy!
"The only thing more pathetic than me is the fact someone put a scope on a flamer".
- Todor "The Flamer Guy" McUrist, former potential Sword Brethren of the Black Templars.
Seeing his chapter dwindled from 6000 marines to a paltry 1300 sent Todor down a spiral of despair that costed him his entry to the ranks of a Sword Brethern so he claims. From that point a series of misfortune saw that he would become the most pathetic of the eternally crusading sons of Dorn. Hearing the voice of the Emperor awakened a desire to see that his chance to earn the redepemption he so desperately craves. He did question the Emperor on who thought it was a good idea to put a scope on a Flamer.
>>48262950
That's all I have for tonight brother, I need to let my brain relax for a minute, play the Quest going on right now on another thread and the like. (I am also completely out of idea and I don't want to write people's characters for them) But feel free to contribute, your canon is just as good as mine!
>>48259377
>Power Maul
>Additional Traits: Thrown (One Use Only - Weapon becomes Ranged (8")), Gauss
wat
>>48260288
No you just a summon an incredibly fat man who screams like a little girl before being turned into tinned potato salad under Horuses boot.
>>48259377
>Conversion Beamer
>Additional Traits: Extended Barrel (+6" Range), Lance
Looks like I may make it.
>>48259377
>Missile Launcher
>Additional Traits: Gauss, Blind, Pinning
How is this of any use to anybody?
Tau Heavy Rail Rifle
Terminators Only. 60", S8, AP1, Heavy 1
Additional Traits: Pinning, Shred
I can work with this.
>>48263022
I shall name you...
Promiscuous weapon Marine!
>>48259377
>Thunderhammer
>Additional Traits: Instant Death, Blind, Quickened (+1 A)
I reckon I could take him
Rolled 11 (1d100)
>>48263042
double fug
Heavy Bolter? Anyone? HELP.
Second try.
>>48263109
Weeeeeeell...
I might think that the Terminators and generally people like you and me should be put in the Blindwing company of the Pathetic Marines.
My name is Afrayedof neckruns.I am a faulty marine. A truly pathetic one at that. My faulty Geneseed caused me to experience true fear. I have developed PTSD from neurons when I arrived to a battle by drop pod and saw my brethren get their hearts torn out by necrons. I come from a long forgotten chapter on an eternal crusade to fight the Necron scourge in a forgotten system. My fear cause me to hide behind the largest of my comrades and those with the biggest guns. The emperor guided me to my Necron Staff in hoping I can conquer my fear but because of my fear I am not able to use it.
>>48263159
PTSD from necrons*
So pathetic I can't even spell my blinding fear properly
>>48263143
Can I join? >>48263059
> Dark Eldar Hexrifle
> 36", S X, AP 4, Assault 1, Sniper, Arcane Payload (i.e. Precision Shot = Instant Death)
Oh boy
>>48263182
The Blindwing accepts you!
Let's appear gloriously pathetic in the eyes of our enemies!
Eldar shurikan catapult with pinning and unrefined
A-at least it's ap 2 on a six ;-;
>>48262194
>rolls a 1 for "Gets Hot"
>>48259377
S User, AP 2, Soulrazor (Ld test for each Wound or be removed from play)
Additional Traits: Unrefined (-1 S), Precision Shot / Strike
Run? I'm not going to let him get his hands on this but maybe I can trade it to someone who can hurt him?
EMP Grenades.
I'm guessing I might inconvenience his phone.
>C’Tan Phase Sword
Melee Weapon. S User, AP 2, Phasing Hits (To Wounds of 6 ignore Invulnerable Saves, and cause Instant Death).
Do I win?
>>48259377
Master crafted grav gun.
Might have a chance, since that fucker is wearing termite armour.
>>48262784
>I'm guessing melta weapons have little to no effect on primarch armors?
I don't see why that would be the case, meltas are meant for anti-vehicle and anti-armor.
My name is....!
Emperordamnit, I forgot it, it's been some tens of decades since I forgot it actually. I used to have a dogtag with it on it, along with a servitor with data slates to remember me the names of my chapter, my battle brothers, the ranks and many other things.
Many called me and my gene-seed flawed, others said that as long as I didn't forget the Emperor I was worthy of battle.
I actually got blind becuase once I forgot what a melta granade was, right when is was very near my face, so the blast-melta-thingie hit me right on the helmet, burned it down along with most of my face and my memo-servitor.
I was hopeless anyway with ranged weaponry, so they gave me a thunderhammer so that my blind charges could be as destructive as possible. They also gave me a terminator armor becuase someone with a robotic voice found my blind fury to be quite an useful weapon.
Then our battlebarge tried to land.
I still think that trying to land a battlebarge is a very bad and messy idea.
There were only three survivors: me, a raging armless Dreadnought and a with very long flowing hair.
The dreadnought was sent to the so called Angry Marines, the nice haired one was sent to the pretty marines.
Since I was so loyal to the Emperor, blessed be him, they said they were going to send me to a most glorious chapter in need of warriors: the Pathetic Maines!
...Now, if only I could remember what ''pathetic'' meant...
BROTHERS, SOMEBODY GIVE HORUS A GUN
Necron Chronometron
Aura (6"). 5+ invulnerable against shooting
>>48259377
>Plasma Pistol
Well I got a 50/50 of slightly dinging him or dying horribly
Pretty good odds.
Ok I spammed it and the only things that might do the trick were a thunder hammer with throw and a soulraze plasma cannon.
>>48259480
Diz beakie iz too stoopid ta know e'z got it made.
>Necron Staff of Light
>12", S5, AP 3, Assault 3
>Additional Traits: Interceptor
I don't know what any of this means.
>>48263817
You got a stick that shoots pew pew laser beams. It's good at shooting down aircraft but has short range. On it plus side, it's easy to shoot while moving and moderately effective against armor. On the down side, it's not exactly strong.
>>48263817
>Necron Staff of Light
Name of the Item (gives any special rules it already has)
>12", S5, AP 3, Assault 3
12" range, Strength 5 for determining wounds, Armor Piercing 3 (which means any unit with a 3+ armor save gets none, too bad Horus has a 2+), and it gets 3 shots per shooting phase/ Assault phase on a charge
>Additional Traits: Interceptor
It can fire on units entering from reserve if they are in range/ LoS
>>48263969
3+ or worse
>>48259377
>Eldar Banshee Mask
>Fear. Cannot be overwatched.
Oh Christ, I'm King.
All I can do now is pray nobody calls my bluff
Thunderhammer
Additional Traits: Refined (+1 S), Rending
He might actually feel it if I can get a hit in.
Rolled 2 (1d5)
>Programmable Tau Drones
>Two drones join one model and form a unit. Roll a d5 once to determine type for both: 1 - Gun Drone, 2 - Marker Drone, 3 - Shield Drone, 4 - Missile Drone, 5 - Sniper Drone
Roomba power!
>Necron Nebuloscope
>Ignore Cover
Monocle Marine reporting in. While I may be entirely unarmed, rest assured, if vile Horus should duck his colossal armored bulk behind a shrub, I shall foil him.
>>48264034
And they shall guide our shots brother!
Eldar Reaper Rangefinder
Ignore Jink Cover Saves
WHY
>>48259377
>Dark Eldar Clone Field
>4+ invulnerable
You can kill me Horus...
BUT CAN YOU KILL ALL OF US?Probably, in all honesty
>Tau Pulse Blaster
>up to 5", S 6, AP 3, Assault 2, 5"-10", S 5, AP 5, Assault 2, 10"-15", S 4, AP -, Assault 2
>Additional Traits: Lance, Blind, Twin-linked, Night Vision
I'm not even sure what this IS
Horus' stat line
>>48263359
Thus Brother Neutron Blaster, brave, bold and fearless in a way only a Pathetic Marine can be, became the first of his chapter to fall in battle.
The intense radiation of his weapons misfire reduced him to a puddle of goo within his armor.
The bucket of his remains has been enshrined within the Bastion of Weakness as an eternal reminder to his brothers. One must fight for the Emperor, die for the Emperor and pray to the Emperor when using weapons the overheat.
>>48264221
Some explanaition for those of us who are lorefags, but never had money to actually play 40k outside vidya?
>>48264319
He's really good
>>48259377
Power Lance
Additional Traits: Shred, Armourbane, Master-crafted, Refined (+1 S)
Now I wish I took up javelin toss instead of long distance running.
>>48264319
He gets five base attacks, hits like a truck, and will likely land all of them. He's beefy as shit, has six wounds, has solid, but not exceptional, odds of striking first, has maximum possible leadership, and his armor tanks five out of six wounds he takes.
That's just the top row.
The image also doesn't include the statlines for his weapons.
>>48259377
>Power Maul
>Additional Traits: Instant Death, Tank Hunter
I die instantly, that's for sure.
>Heavy Flamer
>Additional Traits: Monster Hunter, Interceptor, Fleshbane
Looks like I stole some Catachan trooper's custom gun. I'm dead no matter what happens.
>>48264235
Damnit...
>*that* overheat.
...you're not allowed to judge the spelling of the dead.
>Tyranid Adrenal Gland
At least i could really n away really fast.
>>48264319
He's basically a Warp powered wargod with magic powers, a fuck huge maul, and a set of claws with a storm bolter set in it. AND WE'RE ABOUT TO KICK HIS ASS!
>>48264511
Isn't that the uncorrupted version? Wouldn't he be even worse as archtraitor?
>>48264545
Oh, well the Pathetic Marines are going to fight the Archtraitor version, so I thought that's what the page was.
Horus' weapons explained courtesy of 1d4chan because they do it a lot better than me.
>His weapons are the Warmaster's Talon (an AP2 lightning claw which saddles whoever survives it with a -1 penalty to WS and S for every wound it inflicts that in theory can stack ,ensuring that even if he doesn't kill what he's fighting, his target will be completely unable to harm him or anybody else in close combat) and a S10 AP1 master-crafted thunderhammer called Worldbreaker. Combine this with an initiative of 6, and he will strike first most of the time. He's also pretty durable with a toughness and wounds of 6, 2+ armor save, 3+ invulnerable save, 5+ deny the witch, and an additional 3+ save against any psychic attack or adverse profile modifications, which if you exploit RAW gives him a second save as wounds are part of the profile [not since December FAQ].
>>48259377
Digital weapons... The fuck are those these days?
>Powerfist with shred, force and timewarp.
>>48264574
I'm pretty sure that it'r a multi-melta in a ring or something. Jokero are awesome like that.
