A Djin appears and offers you 3 wishes but each has a caveat.
The first wish will give you too much of what you wish for. If you wish for gold, it will pile more and more until it destroys its own worth. If you wish for women they will come and they will destroy you. If you wish for immortality you will be faced with the emptiness of oblivion for eternity while everyone else knows the peace of rest.
The second wish will give you too litter of what you ask. If you wish for gold you will recieve barely enough for a new set of clothes. If you wish for beauty then your hand will be the lovliest hand in all the land. If you wish for immortality you will enjoy 5 minutes of being impervious.
The third wish will offer you just the right amount of what you desire. But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate, so you must share your glories with them.
Also if you wish for more wishes you die. This includes wishing for more dijin to grant you more wishes.
>>48208852
Immortality, omnipotence, and for the third I wish him to fuck off.
>>48208852
What if I wish for the Djinn to grant someone else some wishes because I don't have time for this monkey's paw bullshit?
>>48208852
1) I wish I could wish for more wishes with no negative consequences.
2) I wish for some tea.
3) I wish for more wishes.
The person I hate is dead And I have more wishes.
>>48208852
I wish for immortality. Then I wish for more wishes and see what happens.
>>48209133
The djinn puts you in so much pain for your first wish that your death is a positive consequence.
1. I wish for a long life
2. I wish to experience fear
3. I wish for the djinns freedom
>>48209133
>1) I wish I could wish for more wishes with no negative consequences.
The Djin is not some automaton. He instantly recognizes you being a cheaky bastard and kills you.
>>48209176
Considering the Second wish gives you too little he just goes "Okay you get half a wish. So you can wish for like a sandwhich or something."
Then he removes your immortality because that's equivocable to killing you.
>>48208852
1. Wish for deification/apotheosis
2. Who needs a djinn any more?
>>48209244
In both cases the Djinn is breaking his own rules.
Also, 'equivocable' is not a real word.
>>48208852
My standard first Gjin with would always be the same.
"I wish for you to grant my wishes in such a manner as I indent for them to be granted, with no purposeful or 'accidental' misinterpretations of aforementioned wishes."
This would be my first wish in just about any scenario where I get multiple wishes. I've read enough mythology for it to be foolish otherwise.
>>48208852
>If you wish for women they will come and they will destroy you.
???
>>48208852
Wish one: "I wish for you to be reasonable and friendly in granting my next two wishes."
If he still screws me over on that, he was going to screw me anyway and the wishes were a trap from the start.
>>48209315
>indent
You already fucked up.
>>48209315
>in such a manner as I indent for them to be granted
Your formatting from here on is impeccable. Odd wish.
>>48209269
"They're my rules and I'm free to break them.
When you have cosmic powers to alter reality YOU can break your own rules as well. What's that you wish for cosmic powers to alter reality? HA HA FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry were you under the impression I was some beta fucker who'd let a little bitch mortal weasle his way into my territory? You hate this game, quit playing and go back to dirt farming for your apathetic lord like the worm you are."
First wishI wish for you to be free
I ask for no other wishes.
I first wish for something irrelevant like socks or magic cards for my first wish because its worded to always be negative
Then what I wish for the second wish is irrelevant so I wish for something nice to have like a slightly bigger dick
Then for my third wish I wish for an empty universe where I am omnipotent and that I can enter mentally at will, and where time only flows while I am present but when I am it flows infinitely fast, so I always return where I left off, and I dont care if my nemesis has this power
>>48209375
>wanting to let your nemesis into your personal slice of creation
Have fun watching everything get fucked up.
If my first two wishes are the same, do they cancel each other out? or will I just get too much gold, and then on top of that too much gold, I also get a tiny additional amount.
1. I wish for the djinn to imagine a world without the word "love"
2. I wish for immortality for those 5 minutes
3. I wish to be shot in the head
The perfect crime
>>48209357
Alright. My half-wish will be a for a scrumptious sandwich with a good helping of bacon.
*munch* *munch*
Eh. It was kind of bland.
As for my final wish: I wish for you to permanently and completely erase your own existence.
>>48209412
Not his creation, his nemesis gets his own separate creation.
I would say that being omnipotent means you can barge into another god's universe if you want to, but if they're both omnipotent, what the fuck happens then?
>>48208852
BBQ beef brisket sandwich all three times.
>>48209476
>your nemesis is the djin
>he erases you simultaneously
>>48209532
I don't hate him, so that doesn't work.
>>48208852
1. I wish for your kin to have good fortune.
2. I wish to be the most powerful god in all creation.
3. I wish for the respect of the masses.
>>48208852
Alright you rule-lawyering Djinn cunt, I have 3 wishes, yeah? And the third option goes off without a hitch?
I'm taking that third one first.
You only said I was offered 3 wishes, not that I must take them in order.
Anyway, I'll take some crisps or something. Dunno.
>>48209362
In becoming free he enslaves all intelligent life in the plane, only so he can be the most free
>>48209560
>implying you get to choose your nemesis in life
>implying it wasn't destiny
>>48209601
>But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate
No mention of a nemesis.
And I don't hate the Djinn, so he doesn't get the wish.
>>48209512
My infinity would be contained within or separate from the other infinities.
>>48209512
>But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate, so you must share your glories with them.
He gets exactly what you get. You share it.
Wish 1. I wish you to be happy
Wish 2. I wish for other people to have a good day today
Wish 3. Immortality
Inb4 hurr durr the genie kills you to make him happy, everyone else has a good day watching you die, whatever. Literally any answer to 1 and 2 can be construed as lethal in some fashion, but to get a third wish you need to say something
Literally anyt
>>48209632
Omnipotence means you can cross multiple infinities no problemo.
>>48208852
What If all 3 wishes are for the same thing?
Does it balance out?
Or, hell, just the first two?
>>48208852
I wish for happiness, melancholy and immortality.
Do I win?
>>48209357
Alright then I won't wish for anything. I don't need a bunch of genie bullshit. Fuck him, he's losing prestige because of his Arbitrary trait.
>>48209644
Correct, he gets his own distinct universe, because that's what anon wished for. His own universe, and so his enemy also gets his own (distinct) universe.
It's not "you have to share a pair of shoes" it's "you both get your own nike airs"
I kill the djinn.
Monkey's paw the devil's dick in hell, cosmic camel jockey.
>>48209661
>>48209632
Two beings can't both be omnipotent, that'd mean one of them lacked power in some respect over another and therefore not be omnipotence
It's some "can god make a rock so heavy he can't lift it" bullshit
If you and the other guy both are all powerful, then you would need to have power over one another, but if someone is able to have power over you then you're not really omnipotent
I'd say the wish fizzles because it would create a paradox, ask for something else instead
>>48209346
Almost too impeccable.
>>48209696
"What you wish for will be granted to someone you hate" means they get what you get. Full stop. They are granted what you get, they don't get a copy of what you get, they get what you get. If you wished for immortality you and them would share that immortality meaning if one gets wished away then the other gets wished away as well.
It's a dickass genie, if you think he stops at "lol he gets one just like it" you're a fucking moron.
> nemesis-wish
I wish I was a incredibly short, fat and well-hung little man capable of turning invisible/intangible, flying and with the ability to grant wishes, but only in a twisted manner
Then I would appear in front of mean, beautiful women and tell them that I would grant their wishes if they let me fuck them up the ass
>>48209528
So like, you get one that's so big you'll never finish it before it goes stale, one that's just a pussy ass slide, and one that's just right, but someone you hate also gets a sandwich that's just right. The djinn would get pissed but you beat him so perfectly he just conjures a sandwich and eats it as well. Happy birthday.
>>48209701
So you can't wish for omnipotence.
OR
Two beings can both be omnipotent as long as both mutually agree to not interact with each other. Omnipotence doesn't mean you HAVE to pursue everything all the time. However, one omnipotent being can make it so the other omnipotent being is no longer omnipotent (as long as he isn't also omniscient, which is a possibility) and the other being can't cancel it, because he is no longer omnipotent.
>>48208852
I wish for less wishes.
>>48209746
Are just trying to create more magical Danny Devitos?
>>48209765
The absolute madman!
>>48209743
No, they get a copy of what you get. Full stop.
You are the fucking moron.
>>48208852
>>48209787
That isn't what "share" means, you illiterate twat.
>Wish for gold and get a massive pile
>the value of gold is only made worthless if I flood it into the market like a retard
What's the downside?
>>48209661
Nah, some conceptions of omnipotence doesnt grant power over fundamental laws like 1+1=2. My universe would be a separate reality, it would be an everything, and I would have power over everything.
but who cares about wordplay you know what I meant
>ITT: OP thinks he's really clever by strawmanning wishes to be negative in ways that doesn't make sense
>>48209806
>>48209811
What's shared is the glory.
>what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate
Granted onto someone you hate.
If I wish for my own pocket universe, a pocket universe will be granted to someone I hate.
>>48209833
>>48209851
I wish for the djinni to let me fuck him in the ass
They call this position the "monjey's paw" you cocksucker
>>48209860
>>48209812
Nasa satellites will spot your golden mountain and call the feds on you who quietly pocket a small part of it and then bury the rest as nuclear waste in yucatan mountain so they dont destroy the world economy, and you along with it
>>48209868
>>48209884
>>48209894
>>48209910
>>48208852
I wish I was omnipotent, my first and only wish.
>ITT: OP quickly realizes he isn't as smart as he thought and proceeds to embarrass himself.
OP was a faggot once again.
>>48209864
Wish 1: wish the genie was female
Wish 2: wish for a magic dick
Wish 3: wish to run a train on the genie
Bards solve everything
Where did the concept of genies fucking with wishes even come from? I thought the wish thing was a gift in exchange for freeing them from their lamp. When did they become cunts?
>>48209833
While the decision of what wishes cost how many points is a bit arbitrary, I like this concept of wishing.
>>48209864
He grants you too much anal and is unable to coherently grant any more wishes.
>>48209966
Uneducated guess: It was probably a lesson warning against greed, I'll bet that in ye olde stories the genies only fucked with the greedy cunts' wishes
>>48209952
implying your tiny magic dick would be able to handle it
>>48209923
Good yarn.
>>48209811
Braindead fucking monkeys shouldn't be tossing insults. Every 4 year old not on the spectrum is automatically able to comprehend that "you both get a snickers" means "you both get your own snickers".
Sharing was only in relation to an intangible concept, but even then yours is still just one interpretation. An equally possible interpretation is that you both get equal glories. "glory" is just a state someone occupies. Two conquerors of different lands both "share" the glory of being conquerors.
>>48209967
Of course it's arbitrary, the devil is calculating it so they run out of points and get forced into wishing for what the devil actually wants.
>>48210003
It's only barely magical.
>>48209977
"Too much anal" get the fuck back here genie I'm not done with you yet
Not that it matters much, all I'm gonna wish for later is more anal.
You brought this on yourself, shoulda stayed in that lamp motherfucker
>>48209826
Some conceptions of omnipotence are bullshit.
>>48209357
See the second the genie does that, the wisher wins conceptually, he has demonstrated he is never going to honour a wish and can therefore be ignored.
>>48208852
>First
Knowledge - Too much knowledge will be a burden, but I'll acclimate and be able to use it eventually.
>Second
I wish that I can forgive those who have wronged me in the past. It'll be too little, but I've been having trouble with that so any is better than none.
>Third
Wealth - My enemy may have it too, but that's irrelevant to my plan, and I can always kill them.Going to develop GitS Cyberization and put myself in an immortal body. Post-Humanism for the win.
>>48209984
No, some were just dickheads. One was locked up so long he decided to allow the guy who freed him to choose how he was going to die, fuck your wishes.
They pretty much gave you whatever you wanted unless you asked for certain things, often just being "all the wishes you want, massah!"
Thing is they vary as much as people do, and that can be bad, but generally they seem okay.
>>48210012
>>48210053
All pop conceptions of omnipotence is bullshit
In christianity God isnt just some bearded dude who gets everything his way
"Being granted" omnipotence is really a dumb concept
>>48210190
Omnipotence is not omnipresence.
Wish 1. The Djin to be in eternal twisting agony to the point even the gods will cringe at the thought of it.
Wish two. A little less pain for the Djin.
Wish three. A life as pleasant as the Djin's life is now awful.
I don't actively hate anyone, it's a waste of time.
>>48209235
>I wish for a long life
>>48210259
It sure sounds like you actively hate the Djin.
>>48210215
"Knowing" is a function of power, where power=capability
Therefor an omnipowerful being also has the capability of omniscience or omnipresence if he so chooses.
>>48210411
Trying too hard.
>>48208852
1. Immortality
2. Knowledge of magic
3. The mindset necessary to remain recognizably myself regardless of the rigors of immortality
Honestly two is a throw away. The real trick is to use one to set something up and then use three to negate the downsides of one. If you're feeling really spiteful you can do something like wishing for money with one, and then wish for the vast majority your wealth to disappear with three. Meaning your supposed rival is now penniless or in crippling debt while you're sitting on top of a reasonably huge money pile.
>>48210411
If he so chooses.
>>48210038
>Genie is going to be pounded too much from first wish
>Then a little bit by second
>Then just right by both you and your nemesis
>>48210273
I hate how humanity has turned immortality into a defeat condition. It's like the ultimate case of Sour Grapes.
>'Yeah, but what if you get trapped in a mine!'
I'll survive
>'What if you get lost in space!'
I'll survive
>'What if you get captured and tortured for decades!'
I'll survive
Surviving is the only thing that's important. We can't know what happens after death, whether it is simply the cessation of all consciousness, eternal torment in a pit of fire, or any nebulous concept like 'peace'. Why should I take that gamble unless I am absolutely forced to do so?
Live as long as you can! Death is never better than the alternative!
>>48210289
Well maybe the Djin should have thought about his wish rules before foisting them onto people.
>>48210535
The implication is you live past heat death.
>>48210289
Nah, I just have to set up the last wish correctly. I'm sure some idiot down the road will "free" him of his pain. Sentiment is wasted on immortal wish despencers with shitty attitudes.
>>48210535
How's life in suburbia?
1)I wish to never feel pain.
2)I wish my enemy good luck.
3)I wish for the sensation of fire across my whole body until death.
All three wishes just to fuck with one guy... fuck him tho.
>>48208852
1. MtG Cards
2. money
3. Every time I or the person I hate dies, we are reborn in an alternate universe, with our memories of past universes still intact.
>>48210574
Boring as fuck.
>>48210566
Your point?
>>48210759
That's really boring forever.
>>48208852
1. I wish to maximize the gain from my second wish while still fulfilling the requirements that it be 'not enough.'
There. You now have two functionally-ideal wishes.
>>48210016
On the other hand, being told that God lost a follower probably solidifies the three wishers' belief in God.
1. I wish to be able to induce sexual lust into anyone at any distance.
2. I wish to be able to quickly induce orgasms into anyone I touch.
3. I wish for everyone in the world to have a single option, that is usable at anytime, to change their body into any form permanently.
Nothing will ever be the same and everything will be extremely crazy as people change their bodies into what they deem attractive, swap gender, or just go full on furry or robot. Even sentient science fiction and fantasy creature will pop up because people thought it would be great to be it. That or they change their bodies into something purely meant for fighting, profit, or war.
And I'm just some dude running around making orgies pop up out of nowhere. Life is great.
>>48210947
If they were summoning up devils in the first place, they don't exactly seem like followers of good old YHWH.
>>48210972
>good
He's CE.
>>48210998
Thanks for bringing up that same old stupid fucking circlejerk. Are you really not familiar with the idiom "good old X" or are you seriously so autistic you have to start screeching every time you see 'good' and 'YHWH' in the same sentence?
>>48210969
>3. I wish for everyone in the world to have a single option, that is usable at anytime, to change their body into any form permanently.
This would end civilization. I like this.
>>48210273
"I plan to live forever, of course, but barring that I'd settle for a couple thousand years. Even five hundred would be pretty nice."
CEO Nwabudike Morgan
>>48211039
I'm bored.
>>48208852
I wish for a single team of lawyers totaling twenty persons in total, and now with that, count the number of people summoned, and determine the percent at which my next wish will be changed.
Then the team of lawyers write up a wish for a new word to be created, with the same colloquail meaning as wish, but not the same legal reason. I wish using the word invented that I have three more wishes.
>>48209586
And yet he is still djinn. Carry a bit of iron and a bit of salt with you and you could seriously ruinous day.
>>48211099
Depends on setting.
>>48211088
You die because the djinn isn't a hyperautist, congrats.
>>48211176
Then I fucking throw salt at him and tell him to fuck off, I will have none of his sandnigger tricks
>>48211235
Throwing salt at him does nothing because this isn't Supernatural and you're a faggot.
>>48210947
They summoned a devil. Pretty sure that takes them off YHVH's christmas list automatically.
1) I wish for a single atom of hydrogen, and that this atom appears on the surface of the sun
2) I wish to be immortal and unable to feel pain for 1 hour
3) I want to suffer enough pain to kill a regular human being, starting 2 minutes from now and ending 4 minutes from now
Wish number 1 means that I will far too many hydrogen atoms which will amount to fuck all, by making these appear on the sun they are consumed and the wish is pointless
Wish number 2 allows for to survive Wish 3
I survive this because of Wish 2, but the person I hate the most dies between 2 minutes from now and 3 minutes from now.
It's not worth taking the risk on the first wish
>>48211242
Salt didn't work on the djinn in supernatural anyway. Heck, the djinn in that setting don't even grant wishes, they just put you into a psychic labyrinth dream of an ideal life while they drink your blood until you die.
>>48208852
Sooooo... You just wish for one of something for your first wish?
I would just try to wish for an indestructible, average sized book of normal weight and otherwise normal make with paper edges etc. unpon which I can not hurt myself and that is only writable, readable and erasable by me, that instantly and witout sideeffects grants me whatever ability I MEANT, which I write down inside there.
After that I wish for a lot of sandwhiches and eat the one he gives me
Last wish I use to ask for great insight into good, evil and morality in general, without any sideeffects of course, which would not only benefit me, but also make the person I hate into so much of a better person I can't hate them anymore.
Then I laugh because I can literally rule the world with the abilities I can grant upon myself with said book, like being able to grant myself an infinite amount of wishes.
Check Mate Djinn, have a nice live and such.
>>48211301
>It's not worth taking the risk on the first wish
And yet, you're first wish could easily be interpreted in a way that destroys the entire solar system.
>>48211334
>I would just try to wish for an indestructible, average sized book of normal weight and otherwise normal make with paper edges etc. unpon which I can not hurt myself and that is only writable, readable and erasable by me, that instantly and witout sideeffects grants me whatever ability I MEANT, which I write down inside there.
You get so many books that they block off all air surrounding you and you suffocate. Checkmate.
First immortality.
Then the bitches
And some more bitches, why not?
>>48210273
I was crying until i giggled like a tard
10/10 comic
>>48208852
I don't wish for anything, I just ask the Djiin if God is real, and if so, which one. If it answers truthfully I wish the Djiin free.
>>48210861
Just do what the godhead in TES does and get lost in a dream to the point you are not even aware of your own existence anymore but still experience the life of every inhabitant of mundus, since they are all part of you.
>>48210612
that #3 is quite neat
>>48210969
Very nice, I like it.
>>48208852
"Do what thou wilt, or don't, Sir Djinn. I don't gamble with demonkind."
>>48209775
But what would happen?
>>48208852
The freedom of Every. Genie.
>>48211721
but how will you know?
1. Immunity to STDs.
2. Bisexuality, in 1 hour increments.
3. A complete lack of standards.
>>48208852
1. I wish that everything i wish for myself goes to my most hated enemy instead of me so that what i wished for doesn't apply to me whatsoever either.
2. I wish for a penis to appear on my forehead.
3. I wish that i would have an endless desire to suck that said penis on my forehead.
>>48212226
1. You no longer have a sexual drive or genitals, thus you cannot catch STDs
2. There's is only a 0,1 second window you are allowed to have that sexuality.
3. Your most hated person is now charging towards you with the smile of a murderer on his face.
>>48210535
> surviving is all that is important
Hello nihilist, ever heard of the will to power?
>>48210861
Technically, you would likely be around to witness the births of multiple universes, the only question remaining is; disregarding the now trivial matters of asphyxiation and explosive decompression; can one dog-paddle through space?
>>48210535
"I am aware that there are serious philosophical issues surrounding human immortality, and I assure you that I am prepared to grapple with them for however many centuries it takes."
>>48209458
My first wish remains unchanged
>>48212389
>implying you need either of those to catch an STD
Try harder shitdjin
>>48210535
Totally agree, you will have to eventually be alone for an eternity but you'll have an eternity to get over it too!
>>48213461
I can make you immortal, tear off your head and shove it up your ass while you still feel everything and then shower you with your own stomach acids and there are no rules about me NOT doing that to you. Now be miserable with what i gave you or not even a fucking Dutch duck can save you from my irritation.
I wish to never experience sadness. (Can't see how that scales up.)
I wish for riches beyond measure. (And accept my negligible gains.)
I wish for endless prosperity. (Who cares if someone I hate is also prosperous?)
>>48213676
I'll tinker around your brain until you feel no emotions. No more sadness!
I can give you this gold speck so tiny you can't measure it.
He now uses his prosperity to un-prosperity your prosperity.
>>48213706
>He now uses his prosperity to un-prosperity your prosperity.
That's not how endless works.
>>48213706
>He now uses his prosperity to un-prosperity your prosperity.
I'm sorry, that means there's an end to my prosperity.
>>48208852
First two wishes are for whatever I feel like getting and the third wish is that the other two wishes were just as I wanted them.
1 Wisdom. What's the downside of too much?
2 and 3 then depends on my newfound perspective and now being able to see the best options.
>>48213731
>>48213720
It means that it counts for nothing since any prosperity you get becomes null through the usage of his own prosperity. As in endless debts and your prosperity goes straight to your debts as soon as they become a thing.
>>48213803
That's just nonsense. Paying one's debts is not prosperity. How could my generic enemy even set up a debt for me to be obligated to pay?
>>48208852
What if I just like wish for something specific. You know, not being vague as fuck. Treat wishes like you'd treat a deal with the fay if for some reason you were desperate enough to do so. Lawyer the shit out of those wishes.
>>48209569
So you're a weak-ass god and your enemy is respected by everyone.
>>48213895
OP's djinn is just a faggot who is exclusively trying to torment you. His only rules are his own whims. It's not a matter of interpretation or specifics. Just ignore this thread.
>>48213922
He too is respected by everyone, and being any kind of god is definitely better than not being a god.
>>48210156
>Inb4 the knowledge about the eventual fate of the human race, the universe, and everything is so terrible it immedietly drives you insane. Too much knowledge means you know everything, especially the stuff you don't want to know. I.e some cosmic horror bullshit.
>>48208852
First Wish
>immortality
>recieve everlasting life
Second Wish
>superior punching accessory
>receive brass knuckles
Third Wish
>Djin be human
>attack Djin
>faced with the emptiness of oblivion for eternity
worth it
>>48212563
Don't nihilists think that, ultimately, nothing is important? Even survival?
Wish 1: Immortality
Wish 2: Sand
Wish 3: Something that will entertain me for eternity
Enjoy that something for as long as you can, enemy. I have forever and you don't! (Also some sand but not enough sand.)
>>48212617
Not without shoving something out of the way first.
Though I imagine you could probably tear off pieces of your body and toss them for some form of movement.
>>48209316
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_most_expensive_divorces
>>48211301
The Djinn interperates "too much hydrogen" as enough to make the sun many, many orders of magnitude larger, consuming the Earth and the solar system.
You get about half an hour or much less of immortality, and then you're instantly consumed by the now expanded sun.
>>48214024
the djin is now human
Fuck that other djinn, he's a douche. Wish your wishes with me, three of them. No rules other than no wishes or anything that would add to your wishes in any way because fuck you i have schedule, and no monkey's paw shit because i'm a cool djinn. The only caveat is that the wishes must come in the form of a haiku that degrades you as a person.
I will also note that faggot OP says in wish 3 that it is granted to someone you hate so that you have to share it with them.
There's nothing there that says that the person there has to hate you back.
>>48214083
>other than no wishes or anything that would add to your wishes in any way because fuck you i have schedule
Kek'd
>>48213778
Nice
>All these niggers picking immortality as their first wish
It doesn't take a genius to realize immortality sucks.
First of all everyone you know dies and you live on without them. That may seem bearable because you can befriend new people but then we get to the second disadvantage: you will survive past the lifespan of humanity. Have fun wandering the earth alone and going insane from loneliness and lack of social contact. Thirdly, you will outlast the very earth and sun themselves. After getting scorched by the sun exploding and feeling endless pain from the decompression of space, you will float around without aim for throughout the vast infinity of space. Fourthly, given the stipulations of the first wish, you WILL survive the end of the universe. Whether it's a Big Crunch, a Heat Death or a Cold Death, you will experience it and it will be fucking horrible.
It's literally preferable to die young from the most horrid disease we can imagine than it is to be immortal.
>>48211721
>is god real?
>make your wish traveler
>I said, is god real?
>make your wish traveler
>FINE. I wish you would answer all my questions.
>done
>....
>10 years later
>excuse me, is this book a captivating read
>djin appears
>no, this book is inferior to pre 21st century novels and lacks captivating quality
>GOD DAMN YOU
>GOD DAMN YOU!!!!!
EZ game
1) Immortality
2)Omnipotence. A little omnipotence, even if it's minor reality bending will still be useful to me. Unless it's "Do X for free" card, of which I only have 1. Would suck, but still be useful. Anyways, the 2nd wish is just filler for me.
3) Ability to planeswalk/multiverse shift/whatever. Basically the ability to freely enter or exit and plane of existence, including fantasy universes. Even if someone I hate gains the ability, the chances of them going to the same places I will is infinitely slim and even if they do I can just go somewhere else and don't even have to come into conflict with each other.
>>48208852
First Wish: Good health
Second Wish: Trouble so long as I live.
Third Wish: Wealth enough to live as I please forever.
I can't think of anything useful for all three: so how would the genie handle a wish for "good health" in any of the slots?
>>48214077
kek
>immortality
I've got eternity to beat his ass
>>48214077
>He doesn't even have armor.
Topkek.
>>48214142
So use your third wish to make eternity enjoyable.
Since your enemy isn't getting the benefit of the first wish, you only have to deal with them for the next century or so.
>but nothing can be enjoyable forever!
It can with a wish.
>>48214142
OR you'll find some fourth dimensional qt and go on space-time sexventures with them forever.
>>48213778
>1 Wisdom. What's the downside of too much?
The knowledge of everything will drive you insane. Every depraved action ever commited, every cruel event throughout the universe, the ultimate fate of everything, including humanity, ours and every other universe, and any and all other races, entities or objects.
>>48214226
Knowledge and wisdom are two different things asshole
>>48214189
What if he just breaks your arms and legs, and then does it again.
>>48214142
I assume if there's beings around granting wishes there's probably others who would have picked immortality, but either way you have two wishes left to make it work.
The big problem with immortality is that I feel like it's the easiest wish to corrupt ever
>>48214142
First wish immortality.
Third wish, assuming it also applies to you, is the mental fortitude to withstand the test of eternity.
Or just add that third wish to the first one.
>>48214226
Trying too hard.
>>48214238
Your understanding renders you unable to do anything because deep down you know with all of your knowledge that everything is in vain and any action you take would eventually be proven to be the wrong one no matter what you do.
>>48214083
1.become a world class pornstar?
2.get a feminist gf
3.enjoy pegging
>>48214168
Considering you're immortal and part-omtipotent you could probably just kill the guy without any repercussions in that reality.
>>48214274
Edge doesn't protect your head outside of the internet.
>>48214281
Not a haiku. no deal.
>>48214239
>eternity
>one day I'll win
>...one day
>>48208852
The only winning move is not to play.
>>48214336
>doing porn isnt degrading
>feminist gf isnt derading
>pegging isnt degrading
lol
those were the worst I could think of
apart from maybe be black
>immortality
>Two bowls of fruit salad
>omnipotence
>>48214393
>immortality
exist eternally
>Two bowls of fruit salad
get half a bowl of fruit salad
>omnipotence
you disintegrate then implode destroying the entire universe.
your existence is eternal and powers all powerful
become god
recreate universe
>>48214442
watch endless debates on whether you exist or not
>>48214442
>>48214460
>all the ways you can fuck with sapient creatures with all that power
>>48211274
King Solomon says hi.
1. make it so my worst enemy receives a kick to the balls daily
2. i'd like a kebab
3. give me motivation to do whatever i set my mind to do
>>48208852
1) I wish to become an omnipotent, omniscient, all-powerful, self-sustaining God that can control/manipulate/alter every aspect of physics and metaphysics with perfect precision, being able to control all of my abilities at will and how I see fit. i.e. not accidentally blowing up the universe because I sneezed or some bullshit
2) I wish for the tastiest hamburger and fries ever created by mankind
3) I wish for my first two wishes to have no downsides or caveats
>>48208852
First wish is to get rid of any caveats to any of my wishes.
Second is for my favorite dozen or so fictional characters to exist in the world.
Third is for there to be some convoluted but pressing need for them to be directly involved in my life. Because while we're already discussing escapist scenarios I might as well make mine is an interesting one to live out.
>>48208852
1. Potential for mankind's development into an interstellar community where man may pursue the work that drives his mind rather than waste his precious few years slaving away to afford a basic income.
2. Thermonuclear warfare. I would like to see how much is not enough for my liking and he's given me the rare opportunity.
3. The invention of a cost-effective and environmentally non-devastating form of FTL travel. I'll share that glory with every loathsome bastard there is if it means it happens.
>>48214515
1. His mangled balls swear bloody vengeance.
2. There is not enough lamb and it is soggy with poorly seasoned sauce.
3. Your rival resolves to thwart you at every turn. You shall both live in interesting times.
>>48214515
>1. make it so my worst enemy receives a kick to the balls daily
your enemy becomes a tv star to the most popular show in the usa
>2. i'd like a kebab
you recieve a small piece of veg from said kebab
>3. give me motivation to do whatever i set my mind to do
your wish is taken literally and you 'set your mind to a tv show with an hero.
you gain the motivation to kill yourself
>>48214640
>2
The Norks launch a missile but it sputters out in mid flight and crashes into the ocean
Nobody in the international community bothers to dignify them with a response
>>48214898
This is unsatisfying indeed.
Thank you, djinn.
>>48214442
>>48214460
>>48214475
>>48214502
And you get just the right amount of fruit salad!
>>48208852
1 ) I wish for a compendium of knowledge on all the systems in the universe.
2) I wish for immortality in which I cannot be harmed or hurt in any way
3) I wish for a faster than light spaceship (created with the best tech i can imagine) with infinite energy and all the knowledge to reproduce and repair every component or requirement to make the ship function.
>>48209461
>>48208852
If I wish for money, for the first,
And money for the second,
Will they cancel out for a reasonable amount of money?
Or none at all?
Also I would wish money for the third, then I'll find that asshole, and mug him.
>>48208852
>I wish that no one could harm me or interfere with my ability to make wishes, or through inaction allow me to come to harm or interfere with my ability to make wishes.
>I wish this genne was happy.
>I wish for infinite wishes.
>>48208852
>I wish the amount of "flurb" in my posestion was calculated in absolute value.
>I wish "flurb" was a synonyme of wish.
>I wish for negative infinity "flurb"
If the wish monster is a stickler about the spirit of the no endless wishes rule, and gets but hurt I solved its logic puzzle... well I go to my grave knowing I won.
>>48216143
Shit, edit, last wish is "everyone else loses all flurb, and an additional negative infinity flurb."
>I flurb for a nice hat.
>>48214142
>Sour Grapes: The Post
If I was offered immortality, I'd take that shit without any hesitation at all.
>>48208852
Let me jump in here and try a new approach. I wish for all genies to retroactively be unable to grant wishes.
The fuck does that big magic fucker have to say about that?
>>48214168
Pretty much just gonna copy this guy.
As long as the immortality is of a non-fucky variety (Jack Harkness Immortality would be good), everything works out wonderfully.
>>48208852
What if I don't hate anyone in particular? Will someone I will come to hate manifest as a result of my wish?
1. I wish for three trillion dollars in easy to liquidate, stable securities backed by nice boring index funds.
2. I wish for a BLT on toasted sourdough every day for the rest of my life
3. I wish for perfect youth, and perfect health so long as I should choose to have it.
>>48208852
Can't you just circumvent this by being speciffic in your wording?
First
>I wish for exactly 1,000 gold ingots that are three inches wide, ten inches long, and two inches thick to appear ten feet away from me
Second
>I wish for immortality that lasts as long as I desire and can only be terminated by me saying "Anonymous wants out" when I fully and of my own free will intend to say those words.
Third
>I wish for more wishes
>>48217129
If an entity capable of doing this in the first place wants to fuck you, they're probably going to fuck you.
>>48208852
Porridge, porridge and porridge.
>>48208852
>1st
Health/Wealth/Happiness. Something like that
>2nd
Supernatural. Wish for magic, or world altering powers.
>3rd, no limits. Right amount.
Hmn. I wish for my 1st and second wishes to be just the right quantities of non-fuckery. That doesn't even appear to be against the spirit of the thing.
>>48217129
>I wish for exactly 1,000 gold ingots that are three inches wide, ten inches long, and two inches thick to appear ten feet away from me
They appear at a c-fractional speed moving in your direction.
Gotta be seriously lawyerly, anon.
>The third wish will offer you just the right amount of what you desire. But what you wish for shall be granted onto someone who you hate, so you must share your glories with them.
I wish to know if there is an objective morality, and if so, what it is.
>>48210273
>>48208852
1st: I wish for my natural lifespan to double
2nd: I wish for some potato chips
3rd: I wish for my natural lifespan to be cut in half.
Bam, my lifespan is doubled (or greater), my enemies lifespan is cut in half and my lifespan is either unchanged, or still increased, also I have half a potato chip or something.
>>48217129
If I were a Genie, I think I would be benevolent for the most part, but I would actively fuck with anybody who tried to lawyer their wishes.
Wishing for wealth? Here's a bank account with $250 equivalent deposited into it each day, accounting for inflation over time and always recoverable by you or anybody who you wish to have access to it.
Your wish, on the other hand? The gold appears in mid-air, and is moving towards you at mach 3.
>>48210861
You can either create new life your self at that point with so much experience, or just wait for something else to happen.
>>48208852
>First
I wish for Harkness-style Immortality
>Second
I wish I was the greatest athlete to ever exist in humankind.
>Third
I wish the universe was altered to fit with my perception of an ideal fantasy setting.
All I want out of life is a sense of adventure, but there are no horizons left on this world. I'll fix that, forever. An infinite world, with unlimited opportunity for high adventure and intrigue, with mythical monsters and incredible feats of magical and martial skill. I'll have everybody transferred to the new world as they are, though technology post 19th century won't work, and guns will be useless.
>>48208852
I feel you messed up describing too much or too little of this OP.
Maybe rephrase it as:
"
Whatever the first wish is you will get so much of it, that it becomes a curse.
Whatever the second wish is, you will get so little, that it will be practically useless/burden.
And the last wish will be what you want exactly how you want it."
>>48210861
Worst case scenario, I create a universe within my own mind. I have forever to be able to accomplish that, so it's definitely feasible, and I suspect you'd need to be a little crazy for it to work anyway.
But that's assuming a new universe doesn't form, first. I can probably travel through space by tearing off limbs and hurling them away from me, so if I do get to see a new universe, I can work with that.
>>48213706
Sucks that the djinn is absolutely retarded.
>>48208852
1. After I've made my thrid wish time rewinds to when I was 18, the day before I started college, and then proceeds forward at normal speed with no changes or deviations brought on by this wish there after.
2. Perfect voice control
3. Wisdom
1 I wish that in 1 minute my nemesis will be hit by a bus
2 I wish for immortality
3 I wish that in 4 and a half minutes I will gain complete control of all existence with no drawbacks
My nemesis will be walking around in his normal life when a freak accident occurs, 423 buses all crash simultaneously into him, he doesn't survive.
For 5 minutes I cannot die, this means that no genie fuckery will be able to ruin my chances. Due to the crash occurring in 1 minute I will have plenty of time to make my second and third wish without risk of the 1st wish ruining my chance.
After 4 and a half minutes I will gain complete control over everything. I'll probably go back and reset the event, removing the genie from my life and removing my memory of the event, I would live out my life like normal until I die, upon which I will ascend and remember my supreme power. Then I'd just fuck around and do who knows what for all of existence. Maybe I'd even become the genie and give my self unlimited power.
>>48208852
Intelligence
Better health
A perfect wife
>>48208852
1) Happiness, I can think of no better thing than to be to happy of life.
2)Hatred, for little of that is not a down side.
3)Peace, may he find harmony in life where I could not.
>>48209900
3, can't you read the manga?
>>48208852
Wisdom, Despair and Ambition.
>>48208852
>I wish for the ability to comprehend, sort and perfectly recall any amount of knowledge no matter how small or large instantly without ill effect
>I wish for you to be incredibly attractive
>I wish for the ability to make anything happen regardless of how possible it is at will
At this point it becomes a matter of quickdraw between me and my nemesisIf we ignore the fact that I don't hate anyone enough to make them my nemesis, nor does anyone care about me enough to make me their nemesis
>>48221776
>Happiness
I hope you enjoy heart attacks/neural overstimulation because you're about to be so happy your body/mind won't be able to take it and dies
>>48214083
私に知識を付与
この臆病者も勇気を要求します
そして、無限の強さ
>>48209461
Why the first one?
>>48221776
This is the most Hippy answer I have ever seen for this.
>>48209316
>>48209458
>>48218745
If your nemesis dies, the runner-up becomes your new nemesis.
You'd be better off wishing for control of reality immediately but with a 5-minute delay of being able to access it.
>>48210273
Except I'd get over any losses eventually (if I had immortality)
Because I have forever.
1) i wish for luck. There is nothing as too much luck
2) i wish for adding the caveat of the first wish to the last, but only for the other guy
3) i wish for a glass of water
3)
1) Immortality. Fuck you.
2) Ability to planeswalk/shit like this, have this ability for 1 year (get 30-minutes variant or so, right?)
3) Ability to grant people (including myself) forever any abilities that I've got from these wishes and possess right now excluding this one.
Give myself planeswalking. I'm immortal, cool. Now grab some friends. My enemy has the ability to do nothing.
1. Inmortality + 3. time travel is the name of the game
Does the nemesis know about the third wish? Cause if not, you could get omnipotence by wishing that everything you say between a key word and your next utterance of a different key word becomes true exactly as you intend it. Then use this power to say that the nemesis explodes or something
I would rather reincarnate and live multiple lives than be immortal. Eventually I would get tired of myself, and want to forget everything and be recreated.If the Big Crunch turns out to be true, then at some point in the past you and everything else in the universe was undifferentiated and you will return to this point in the future, which you can interpret in whatever metaphysical way you want.
>>48214040
Nothing except the things you - individually you, through introspection and self-reflection - decide matter.Though a lifetime of meditation still might not give any given individual a sufficiently satisfactory answer.
>>48212363
>1. I wish that everything i wish for myself goes to my most hated enemy instead of me so that what i wished for doesn't apply to me whatsoever either.
>2. I wish for a penis to appear on my forehead.
>3. I wish that i would have an endless desire to suck that said penis on my forehead.
Evil on multiple levels. It'd be a little dick on his forehead that, no matter what he does, he can never suck it,, no matter how badly he wants to.
Unless he cuts it off.
>>48208852
1) I wish for wisdom because there can never be too much of it.
2) I wish for luck because someone with wisdom does not need much luck.
3) I wish for Justice to come to my enemy so that if he had wronged me he would get punished for it, however if he had done good he would be justly rewarded.
>>48223185
I REMEMBER WHEN ALL OF THIS WILL BE AGAIN.
>>48208852
1) Cover my ass with shit!
2) Cover my ass with more shit!
3) Lick it clean!
>>48223749
The Djinn is now licking your worst enemy's ass, while you are drowning in horrid amounts of shit.
>>48223766
That wasn't the deal, djinn! You specifically used the word 'share', implying that the wish would be granted onto someone I hate in addition to being granted unto me.
I hate you, djinn!
