Greetings anons.
As it's a holiday weekend in America and I am hungover, I thought it might be nice to do a storytime.
>What the hell is this?
Stories from my long time gaming group that I enjoy telling. Also penguins. /tg/ seems to have rather enjoyed the last few threads and you never know you might too.
There's more here https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Britbongsteros
>What do I need to know to follow this? There sure seem to be a lot of words on that link.
There's a party of six characters, a DM, and a whole world of weird out there.
>>48090982
I'll tell you all who is who now:
Angus - An orc from Dundee. Originally a greengrocer but also horrendously proficient with the flamethrower he carries. The flamethrower doubles as a thermic lance.
The bard - A human, wears a kilt, plays the bagpipes. Occasionally has great ideas. The DM uses his own taste in music for what the bard actually plays (so usually classic rock or country & western).
Cruella - Essentially a Dark Eldar wych wearing more clothes. She is vicious and stealthy. Armed with two daggers and a sword that she talks to.
The wizard - Not actually magic but can command metal (iron) and summon various sharp or pointy things. Including chainsaws.
The Navvie (also called Burt) - A very large human with a hammer. He hits things with it.
Aldous - A dwarven knight. Wears full plate. Carries twin revolvers and a gatling shotgun. Smokes a pipe. The more observant amongst you might note that this is also me.
>Wats going on?
This adventure is a stand alone and doesn't really care too much about the established canon (as it were), while the adventure happened around Christmas/New Year this 2015/6, I have only managed to sit down and begin telling it now (barring one abortive attempt while in Africa).
So without further ado, I shall begin to tell "A Less than Seasonal Tale."
[Please feel free to ask questions as we go I'll be in this thread solidly until about 00:00 GMT or 18:00 in New Orleans - which I might add is hot as balls]
>>48090998
We begin in London as the privy council explain over tea served by Baldrick, the gorilla, that the good ship DunRoamin pulled into Peterhead Harbour last Tuesday. This is met with an almost unanimous
"And?"
Aside from Angus, who is picking his nose and simultaneously rolling a cigarette, and Cruella, who has taken a shine to a carriage clock on the mantelpiece and is considering larceny.
Blackadder explains "and the DunRoamin was thought lost at sea two years ago. Wreckage was found. Even some bodies. The 'crew' have no knowledge of the last twenty six months, the cargo of Spanish Oranges are still fresh. The last thing any of them remember is the Northern lights around Cruden Bay. We (the Privy Council) have had the crew quarantined. We suggest (meaning order on pain of death) you find out what is going on. Additionally, some of the local sheep have been (Angus perks up) going missing and returning in fractions. Do find out what's going on?"
Blackadder also mentions a number of other missing ships, ones which were assumed lost to alchemists/sea monsters/necromancery. Given that good King Algernon has already (mostly unknowingly) put up and dedicated a number of monuments, it'd be far too confusing for the old duffer to dedicate them. Additionally wherever that ship has been, we want to know.
So we find ourselves on the sleeper train to Peterhead. Having "snuck" (punched out the guard - cheers Navvie) our way into first class (where they wash the chickens you share the carriage with first) we are smoking and enjoying one of Angus's home distilled whiskies. To our surprise it tastes nothing like whiskey but also doesn't make you go blind.
>>48091016
The surroundings, company, and drink being convivial, the party start to relax, finding their feet as their characters again, old arguments are resurrected and players get in character. As the Wizard and Navvie speculate on what the disappearance could mean, Angus and Cruella snipe at each other over whether Brown or tomato sauce is more of an insult to food while interjecting every so often. The consensus is that it's something to do with time travel, the bard dissenting because obviously it's whales. When pressed further all he says is "fuck whales."
The party are finding their feet again reasonably quickly. The train journey passes quickly. The issue is that the DM is also finding his feet again. Cruella it appears has actually acquired the carriage clock and is inordinately pleased with it.
We start properly in Cruden Bay, a small fishing village. We kind of expect everyone to be missing, we expect things to be not as they should be. Instead, and for once, everything seems fine. In fact the village seems more than fine, they're having a party.
The group are quite content to get involved but the Wizard reminds us we are here to do a job. We make our way (nearly losing Angus and the Navvie to a bar) to Cruden Bay's one and only jail, where apparently the crew of the DunRoamin have been quarantined.
The twelve crew seem altogether normal, if a little lost, you would be too if you'd lost a couple years inexplicably. They don't seem as though they've been at sea for two years. No Rime of The Ancient Mariner stuff here. Talking to them brings us almost nothing new in the way of knowledge.
DM: "The 14 men in the gaol seem perfectly, completely, and utterly normal."
The fete outside seems to pick up a little in noise and cheer.
>12 crew on the boat.
>14 men in the gaol.
>>48091029
Fuck.
Problem solving has never been one of our finer points. We have the crew list and cargo manifest. We know damn well that there's only meant to be 12 people on that boat.
The first idea we managed was taking them out one by one and asking them who was on the boat with them, and to describe them. It seems spending what may or may not have been two years on a boat with someone gives you a very poor recollection of what they look like. Each crewman can vaguely describe maybe two or three others. There's enough overlap and amnesia that no one can definitely be pointed to as an impostor. There's definitely not going to be a nice reason for there being two extras.
The party form a small huddle. The crew being returned to the cell. These people (or "people") are amnesiacs and most don't seem to even remember their own names let alone each others. They all came off the boat though...
Wizard: "Clearly they're all impostors. It's definitely the only sensible thing. Bodies were found remember?"
Cruella: "Shoot the lot."
Angus: "How do we know?"
Bard: "We can't know, we can't leave them here either."
The fuck are we going to do with this lot? We've all seen the thing. We also aren't tempted to pick one at random and start slicing.
Someone has the not too bad idea, that if we're in this situation, and maybe, just maybe, there's some extras in there, we could try asking them things from before the voyage. The Wizard is from near this area.
He starts asking each of the crew about the football team, "Aberdeen United." Most have never heard of it. Some have, enthusiastically so. Aberdeen United don't exist. Of course, while football (soccer to my burger-bros) is a big thing in Scotland, not having heard of Aberdeen FC isn't quite a death sentence, as much as some people I know might disagree.
>>48091059
The questioning continues. We ask each individually about other things, things like how the winter was three years ago (most agree that it was pretty bad - it was), and whether Tunnocks Tea Cakes should be fried or baked (most think either is insane). We are slowly starting to get a feel that three identifiable folk are a bit weird.
That's one too many. Possibly one is just a berk. On the other hand, well, we have no idea what to expect and fuck it, double blind trials and that sort of thing aren't our strong point.
The Bard has been fairly quiet through all this. He's started to notice that most of them move pretty damn slowly. As though drugged or nearly blackout drunk. With the sort of exaggerated care of a man trying to unlock the front door at four in the morning with seventeen pints sloshing about in him and trying not to wake his wife.
We've narrowed things down (we think) to three. We take those three to a separate room. Outside the carnival or fete is reaching fever pitch.
We tie each of the three to a chair. For ease of reference, I'll number them, 1-3. The Wizard has had an idea.
"I'm going to tell you a joke: Two lads in a pub, one says to the other 'Your round Jock' the other says 'So are you, ya wee fat bastard.'"
1 clearly doesn't get it. Two laughs uproariously. Three looks amused.
The wizard shoots number 2.
"Even I know I'm not funny."
>>48091075
It's about this point that several things happen at once.
Truth be told we were kind of expecting someone to explode into a mass of mouths and tentacles. We definitely were not planning on #2 being instead of a corpse on a chair, just an empty chair with rope tied round it. As though we had tightly bound rope to the back of the chair without anyone actually being there. The bullet can clearly be seen having dug a hole in the wood of it. #3 is similarly gone as though he hadn't been there. As we are coming to grips with this. The fete outside seems to involve an awful lot of screaming.
1 appears terrified.
"Why did you people tie me up then shoot an empty chair?"
We will come to terms with whatever that means shortly. Angus has been looking out the small, barred window. Several townsfolk have just been snatched, dismembered, and dragged off by something large, tentacley, and coming from the sea. The rest of the partying folks seem oblivious.
We can still hear music and dancing. Now we really think about it, the last local festive day was two days ago. The townsfolk definitely look as though they've been dancing since then...
We breezed into the gaol/police station thinking the lack of staff was just festive, the keys and jail had been easy enough to find. The snoring, passed out and very drunk sergeant at the front desk was (we thought) reason enough for the lack of efficiency. There is something very wrong here.
The empty chair however presents a very different issue. We all definitely counted 14 crew. We all definitely took three in here. We felt, saw and smelt each of the three we tied up. The wizard can't sense any magic in particular. What the hell is going on.
>>48091091
Angus who is still at the window reports that several pterodactyls just flew past. For the avoidance of doubt that is not normal.
It seems the townsfolk might be hallucinating or under some sort of ergot poisoning. We might have got a touch of it too even on our short walk through town. We can't just bug out though. There's too much weirdness for us to leave this alone. We decide to return our surviving and definitely tangible crewman to the cells. To his thirteen friends. Oh fuck.
We note that it's kind of hard to tell 14 men in uniform with beards apart from each other. Clearly one's the captain and the other is the first mate, but the rest are a bit tricky.
Cruella is greatly in favour of burning the lot.
We are a bit tempted to now. It's about here that the wizard sees that one of the crew has a hole in his jacket. Just above the sternum. He has one on his back too. Perfect for the entry and exit of a bullet from a revolver.
This time I shoot him.
He hits the floor about the same time as his friends bare their teeth and give a horrible ululating cry. Skin flakes or sloughs away to scale or chitin. Muscle flows and warps. The whole group like figures made of wax left too close to a flame. They start to flow and slither into each other. Ropes of sinew and intestine slapping and crawling round the bars. Angus still has his flamethrower and by God is it handy here. The rest of the party open fire as well.
>>48091112
Our original interrogatee is all that's left shortly afterwards. Lying on the floor with his hands over his head, trembling and (when our ears stop ringing) begging not to be shot.
He is lying against the bars, fairly near to us and actually, if he had hit the deck and lain there, could logically have survived.
All of his mates have just exploded however. The wizard decides (supported by the rest of us - even the penguin) to stick a harpoon through him.
He does what you might expect a perfectly ordinary human to do. Scream a bit and expire.
a perfectly
normal
human
Fuck.
Did we just?
Yup. We just executed a terrified civilian like big damn heroes.
>>48091131
Now I'm going to have a sandwich and see if this takes flight.
>>48091215
See if what takes flight?
>>48091236
The thread anon. As in see if it gets interest.
Also although a po'boy is just a baguette with stuff in it. They really are fantastic.
Aha, I remember these threads.
And I think stabbing the poor bastard was where you got to last time.
>'Your round Jock' the other says 'So are you, ya wee fat bastard.'
I'm going to use this
>>48091400
It is anon, and now I've eaten this po'boy thing and I've had a pint of American "beer" we are going to continue.
>>48091131
We've killed plenty innocent bystanders before but this actually feels worse than usual. Even the Purple Penguin briefly ceases his reverie on the intricacies of axiomatic metaphysics and tits to look disapprovingly on us.
As does the DM. We think we just slaughtered our exposition device.
So to recap, we don't know what's going on, there's weird Thing type person impersonators, dinosaurs, and the population of Cruden bay are under some form of mass hysteria while being massacred. Also it's Tuesday.
We know just what must be done.
>>48091470
Angus, as our resident good samaritan does what he feels is appropriate and makes sure our interrogatee is actually dead. He also takes to opportunity to rilfe through his pockets.
The man coughs up a lot of blood? It seems a lot darker than it should be, the consistency of treacle and hacks one word out before finally and definitely dying. "Merde."
We will process that later. There's stuff to do.
We make our way out of the gaol - and past the still comatose desk sergeant (who is going to wake up to the worst hangover imaginable).
The village is alight, at least one lantern has been knocked over and smoke and sparks colour the scene.
Outside the fete has become a nightmarish scene of violence. The exhausted villagers are being grabbed by long white sticky tentacles which can be traced seaward, toward the end of the village square, if anon imagines the villagers dancing in a square then the ones at the western corner are slowly and methodically being stripped of flesh piece by piece by the tentacles. They are still very much alive and seemingly unable to take flight, but they get to watch the person up the line from them being skinned. The only ones saved from this fate are women who are dragged off "whole."
Emerging into the square and making for those tentacles they seem to emanate from a couple of vehicles. Like a bathyscape (pic related) on tracks. Thick diving bell type windows too bright to see within, the tentacles oozing from hatches and ports while the bits of flayed villager are conveyed within.
A pterodactyl circles overhead, but doesn't seem to take part in this.
Oh, I remember Britbongsteros... mostly. I don't remember the pterodactyls, though...
>>48091624
How the fuck do you fight a bathysphere and/or bathyscape?
More to the point, as we make our way to the villagers we argue, it seems that trying to carry them off one by one isn't likely to work.
We are going to have to wreck those things.
As we get closer it becomes apparent the cobbles are thick with some sort of transparent and very unpleasant mucus. It reeks of rotten fish.
The wizard is our best tin-opener and while Angus tries to create a wall of flame between villagers and Bathys, the rest of us follow him.
The Wizard starts to work on a bolt, then another, they slowly (achingly so) start to loosen, he has to concentrate very hard indeed on this task.
This leaves Cruella, the Navvie and myself with the tentacles. Up close they can be seen to be covered in horiffic looking barbs or bladed suckers. You do not want one of those touching you.
As a bolt becomes loose enough it seems the internal pressure of the Bathy fires it like a musket ball (unfortunately into the forehead of another villager - collateral damage though) with this revelation, the bathys very much turn their attention on the Wizard.
We do our best to intervene with shot, blade and hammer, but it's going to take time for the wizard to pop those things open.
>>48091688
They're rather new.
>>48091701
The combat becomes a blur of slashing, shooting and bashing. The fact they are trying to concentrate on the wizard makes the tentacles easier to combat but they are also happy enough to take a chunk out of us - as the bard who has been generally fucking about in the background learns. He was about to try and play something inspiring but instead a tentacle has seized his bagpipes. The two wrestle and the struggle between man and pseudopod is evenly matched.
Meanwhile bits of villager can be seen being dragged into the bathys.
The Wizard is having some success, with three bolts loose now, a panel zings off the lead Bathy. The pressure within causes an ejection of a thick white fluid (shut up whoever is sniggering at the back) and some sort of machinery is revealed within.
Angus is able to turn the flamethrower on the tentacles we are fighting momentarily giving me enough time to get a half dozen slugs into that panel.
Smoke and fluid belches and farts from Bathy 1.
>>48091767
We might be winning, we might not but we are doing our best. The bard at least has won his struggle - his pipes are, for the time being at least, out of action.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KoHxG4-Rh4U have some mood music anyway.
The Navvie is usually reasonably well prepared with a couple of blasting charges or some dynamite and decides now is the time for some fireworks.
Headbutting the last tentacle near him (losing a decent chunk of his forehead in the process) he primes a charge and hurls it like a shotput at Bathy 2. He doesn't quite get the charge under the tracks, but it does knock the thing over. It can still slither tentacles about the place but it's definitely immobile.
There are a couple more pterodactyls above us now, and from somewhere nearby thunderous footsteps can be heard.
We are slowly closing in on Bathy 1.
>>48091846
Bathy 1 does its best but with Bathy 2 just about out of the fight we close in enough that the Wizard is able to tear off thick cast iron panels now. There's a crack and a highly pressurised fizz from within before the entire internal hull is breached. It goes up like a bomb, showering bits of highly pressurised pseudoplasm and other goo all over us and everything else within forty feet.
If we had any doubts about this thing having come from the deep sea, those are very definitely assuaged.
Those footsteps are coming closer. Big thumping ones.
With Bathy 1 destroyed and Bathy 2 down, the villagers are at least no longer being eaten.
Deciding we don't have all that much time to investigate Bathy 2 we make for it as quickly as we can. The Wizard sealing shut the ports from which the tentacles are exuded while cautioning us against just tearing it open - explaining that the internal pressure, will, if released, destroy any evidence of what is within the thing.
Looking closer, we can see on one of the hatches some latin lettering which might read:
"Avertissement , contenu sous pression , ouverte avec une extrême prudence"
It seems the real enemy have shown themselves at last. The French.
However the Spinosaurus (or what might be - it's not entirely biological nor does it quite fit the description - but who knows - paleontology being a very dangerous profession in Britbongsteros) which is watching us seems to beg to differ.
>>48091959
Ok so dinosaurs are a new one.
They're not native to Britbongsteros, though there are rumours that there's plenty of them in Africa.
We are not inclined to ask this one particularly about his heritage, especially given that he squares his shoulders and charges right at us without a second thought.
As he gets closer, mechanical or maybe cybernetic augments can be seen on his joints and around the back of his head.
An arc of electricty whips from his ribcage and washes up around his skull.
What the actual fuck is that thing DM?
Spiney races toward us, we move to engage, planning on hamstringing him and going from there.
This, for once, actually goes to plan, with some decent rolls Cruella gets his left leg and not eaten, and the Navvie is able to crush his right ankle as he goes down.
It's almost like he's not paying us any attention and has been told to go for Bathy 2 at all costs.
He just about makes it too, smashing into the thing on sheer momentum. That highly pressurised hiss that proceeded Bathy 1's explosion can be heard, We make for cover and a moment or two later, bits of dinosaur and Bathyscape rain down around us.
We re-emerge to investigate the wreckage.
"YOU ABSOLUTE CUNTS."
>>48092157
The short and very angry orc gesticulating and swearing at us identifies himself as Doctor Andrew Ure (you're not going to believe anything about this guy so have a wiki https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Andrew_Ure and a link to some of his more fun experiments - http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/books/non_fictionreviews/3556709/Raising-the-Dead-the-men-who-created-Frankenstein.html )
He seems really annoyed that we just killed his pet.
>>48092311
Anyway, hopefully this is all making sense - do please chime in if it isn't.
The orc - or Doctor Ure, explains that that monster was the best chance we had of ending whatever the menace from the sea is, and now we've gone and ruined that. While he doesn't seem especially threatening, Dr Ure definitely has plenty of other dinosaurs around if those pterodactyls are anything to go by. He is also completely mental. We do our best to ignore the small, insane green midget and examine what's left of Bathy 2 for clues.
>>48092391
>Anyway, hopefully this is all making sense - do please chime in if it isn't.
Makes sense so far. Well, aside from where he got the dinosaurs, but I expect that to make less sense.
>>48092391
Bathy 2 doesn't render up much in the way of info, the Wizard reporting: "It's a Bathyscape"
Cruella: "The fuck are you looking at me for?"
Angus: "I reckon we could rebuild this if we really tried...some sort of...maybe a submarine?"
Bard: "I think Angus might be onto something."
Navvie: "Shut up bard. Also more French writing found"
Doctor Ure has become somewhat more insistent to the extent that while everyone else was examining the Bathy (and scraping bits of it and Spinosaurus off themselves) I did my best to calm him down enough to work out what he was on about.
The following information is learnt along with a lot of raving.
>The Bathys are of unknown origin but have been doing things like this up and down the coast.
> Mad Dr Ure is also an agent of the crown, at least he was, the letter of authority he shows me is eight years old and entirely out of date.
>The dinosaurs are what he calls "Galva-saurs" (as in Galvinism - yes I know Ure predated Galvinism by some decades) and are his own flesh melded designs which he suspects the Bathys (who may or may not be French) to have stolen.
I ask him about what happened with the exploding crew members (above) and he postualtes "That could be a logical result of my research, but only a mad" he laughs uproariously "man might do that. If the Crown ever found out about that he'd be burnt at the stake."
So the end result of that is we don't really know what to do.
The rest of the party have now joined us.
Bard: "Where are the Bathys coming from?"
>The Sea.
Bard: "Ok but where in the sea?"
>How should I know?
Wizard: "You knew they were coming here right? You might know where they go next? How'd you know they were coming?"
>>48093662
Angus: More to the point where did you get these bloody great lizards?
>Made them.
Everyone: You what?
>(cackles some more) Well it's been a bit lonely up here in Cruden Bay, what else was I meant to do? I had all these eggs and other bits and...Galvasaurs!
[if anyone paying attention is wondering Cruden Bay has a lot of history and links to Frankenstein...]
It's been growing darker and stormier. Lightning flashes illuminating Slains castle on the near horizon.
>Come up to my laboratory...We have much to discuss, as you see I suspect someone has been stealing my research.
>>48093745
After agreeing that we'd follow him up, once we've seen what we can do to help the villagers (which we do our best to and those that haven't been dissected mostly fall unconscious - but we can provide water and try to move some away from the now steadily blazing town - a process which takes about an hour or so but isn't terribly exciting to tell) we follow Mad Dr Ure up to Slain's Castle because we're smart like that. Dr Ure himself having simply extended his arms, waited a couple minutes in that rather daft position and then been scooped up by two Ptero-Galva-Dactyls.
>>48093790
>Ptero-Galva-Dactyls.
Neat
Based on your other adventures, this can only go well
>>48093836
Just once, maybe, we'll meet someone who happens to be into just flower arranging and not flower arranging and murder. Today is not that day.
Dr Ure (pic related - well it's the corpse he's reanimating or a dramatisation) is very pleased to welcome us, as are the small pack of GalviDeinoychus that scutter about his feet.
We have decided (having met plenty of lunatics by now) that we should start very slowly and softly.
He welcomes us into the great hall. (note although the picture above shows Slain's Castle it did in fact have a roof for most of its history) the chained and mostly assembled item which he describes as "THE GALVASAURUS" is bigger than the Spinosaurus and indeed Babi if anyone remembers him.
We ask him: What are you doing up here?
>The Royal charter [n.b. they only last for four years and need renewed when a monarch dies] should tell you all you need. The kingdom needs soldiers, my original research in Oxford was deemed too unseemly for the populace so I was sent to quieter, more... unseeing areas to complete it. Helpfully new discoveries from Araby [shit was that us?] have assisted enormously.
Party: So you're making the traditional ubersoldats then?
>No, these are so much more, imagine a galvasaurus pulling plough shares, or a hundred powering pumps, why we could drain the Irish sea if we wanted to. Think of the engineering potential.
Party: Ok that's...that's actually less bonkers than it sounds. You err...you don't happen to be using any crazy blood magic or anything that'd mean we have to kill you? [we asked this a bit more tactfully, but then the bard just asked it straight out]
>No? Just science. Why should I use anything else? With science man can usurp the reigns of power from G-d! G-d has other things to take care of, such as our souls, (I don't know how he managed to pronounce it like that but somehow he did) he has allowed science to assist him!
>>48093996
As Dr Ure is working himself up into a proper frothing rant, we change topic.
Party: So Dr, who might be murdering the townsfolk?
Bard: Yeah! What's the French Connection?
>I told you that I don't know, you probably already know they've attacked ships, that they've likely discovered a way to not only utilize my research but to corrupt the human form, to make things which appear to be men but are not, there might be hundreds or even thousands of those sleepers [he means what happened in the gaol] in towns on the east coast already, all seemingly normal until some threat or command and then....
Dr Ure whistles and a ParasaurGalvius cracks open a bottle of Chesnokov brand vodka (there's at least one /k/ommando in the group if anyone was curious) ...it doesn't bear thinking about.
Angus has wandered off but returns at the mention of free drink. He has something to share.
He nudges the Navvie and I and gestures at the Galvisaurus surreptiously. That sure looks like a really big soul-cube if you squint just right. [see britbongsteros 1, it's bad ok?]
>>48094112
Well then... what do we do with this?
Giving it some thought we decide that you know what? Fuck that. We'll deal with that later.
Night has very definitely fallen outside and we are invited to spend the night in the creepy weird dracula inspiring castle.
On second thought we could spend it in the village...which has burnt to the ground...
On third thought, lets stay.
We are given half a dozen rooms and waited on by a couple of small servant lizards (the wizard reckons they might be some velociraptor relative) in any event we decide it's far more sensible - and defensible to all sleep in two adjoining rooms. We also have a chance to properly study one of these lizards up close.
It seems the things are not quite dead but definitely not alive, motive power being provided by some small generator in the chest and thought and direction by the modified box on the back of the skull. If we had to guess it might be a good idea to smash said box if we had any issues with one of these critters.
We have no idea how Dr Ure is controlling the things however - the wizard theorizing it's low level magic tweaking the copper diodes and control in each box on the Doctors part, and when he isn't controlling them direcetly, instinctive behaviour on the part of the lizard.
The traditional Britbongsteros bumping begins.
Alliteratively.
>>48096101
as indeed is tradition. It got a lot more croweded where I'm posting from. It may be necessary to venture back to my temporary home.
>>48094545
We are woken - those of us who were sleeping at least (we've had enough of the DM to know that everyone being asleep at once without explicitly saying X will be on watch first leads to bad things), by a small Galvinychus battering on the door. It seems to very much want us to follow it.
We do with some leisure, it seems that a village up the coast is under attack from our local bathys.
We could just relax here but something tells us that the Penguin would much prefer us to take the offer of being Ptero-Galvi-dactlyed into the middle of the village.
It also sounds fucking awesome.
***
A short while later.
Six adventurers are borne aloft, silhouetted against the harvest moon on our way to Newburgh and wondering what the fuck we have gotten ourselves into this time.
>>48096252
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-49noOAFsG8
Not all of us exactly have a head for heights nor indeed the way the Ptero-Galvi-Dactlys like to swoop and swerve, the screams of Cruella as her two do a loop-de-loop can probably heard in Inverness, but we make it.
Newburgh is only a few miles away and at this speed it's five minutes flying time.
Below we can see in the flames of the fishing village more Bathys, and something else, something really unpleasant. Like a creature made of chitin and fishhooks it's grabbing towns people and eviscerating them or... oh lordy that's not nice.
It's cocooning them and forcing something down their throats....
With a cry of "Fukken Xenos!" we land in the middle of the town square.
Apparently bonkers Dr Ure will send reinforements but right now, we're it. The big sky above us is fire lit, and all around us civilians scream.
>We Xcom now baby.
>>48096952
>DM? Is this a terror mission? This feels a lot like a terror mission.
>That's not a bad idea bard. This is now a terror mission, save those civvies.
We don't exactly take much coaxing to try and do the good thing but this is going to be bloody hard. They're everywhere and if (as we suspect any villager impregnated - and yes that is probably what happened to the women up at the top of the thread) is going to make more gribbly things, we think maybe we should burn out those nest things first.
Then we have still got the Bathys, and whatever the fuck else there is running around.
Well fuck it. Lets do this.
>>48097197
So we pretty much have two choices. Go for the "nest" and hopefully cut off the alien reinforcements or try and fight through everything and save as many civvies as we can. It seems likely we might save more lives in the end going for the nest but more will die while we do that. It's a DM dilemma and a big gamble.
>>48097567
We like a good gamble though and while the combat isn't too exciting to relate, we wade through mucus and those horrific chitinous beasties to the "nest" or what was once a small inn. Now it's a horrific mess of bodies and bio-resin, we're just in time to see the stomach of some poor woman burst in a shower of gore (muh edge!) and several smaller nastier little things scrabble towards us.
>well fuck this, Angus bathes the place in flame and the Navvie tosses a charge into the flames.
The (fuck it, we'll just call the Chryssalids) the lids swarm us as we do so, the Wizard being knocked to the ground and only saved from a really nasty death by Cruella decapitating the Lid. She in turn is grabbed and dragged a few feet before the Wizard harpoons the Lid standing over her.
Eventually (really a few moments later) we are standing on a pile of chitinous bodies when the charge cooks off.
Still leaving the rest of the screaming and abused village to save.
>>48097731
Out there in the night there are still people dying, being picked apart by Bathys and god knows what else. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FwNOmS78q-o
We know exactly what must be done.
>Ayyyyyyy LMAO
We are heavily outnumbered but we think we just about have the hang of wrecking bathys, the first two aren't all that bad. The third is where we hit our first big snag.
Angus and myself are herding civvies aside when several of them do that horrible shifting exploding thing and go full Thing, grabbing and devouring others or trying to eat us.
>Fuck. Nothing is to be trusted.
As Bathy 3 detonates, (there's still plenty more of them) we have to execute not only the Things but the half eaten (and possibly contaminated? Turned?) civilians with them.
Just curious, if anyone out there is playing along at home?
>>48097977
I'm following along/bumping so it can be added to the tale on 1d4chan
>>48099277
Is that you glorious wiki-anon?
These may be the last few posts from me tonight as I will shortly head out to be social. It may just be you and me left so don't worry unduly about bumping.
The rest of the bathys are a struggle but with reinforcements (fucking dinosaurs!) we manage pretty well.
There's plenty more French in the wreckage, but as the last of them retreat, the wizard looks awfully smug.
He's missing his solid iron broach that keeps his cape/kilt in place and holding it in place with one hand.
It's stuck to the back of the last of the bathys. He reckons that as long as it stays within seven or eight miles he should be able to pinpoint where it goes.
It's also a dead cert that wherever "there" is, is likely underwater, so we are going to have to do some preparation for dive.
>>48099642
Fortunately, there's enough bits of bathy scattered around that with plenty of ingenuity and around four or five days work, it ought to be possible to fashion a crude diving bell and some extremely crude diving suits. We are going to engage the terror from the deep on its own terms.
The tracker indicates that where we are going is reasonably close to the coast in one of the few areas where the North Sea is lower than 100M (110 yards ish) but not much more so. It's still pretty bloody deep - especially in home made diving suits.
Finally awake again and can continue to follow this.
With the old tradition of BUMP (would post Opus if I had any)
bump, happy 'murrica day
>>48090982
ALDOUS, THE BOY! Welcome back, m8!
How is progress on the potential Drawfag thing? Wasn't there webcomic/graphic novel things brewing?
>>48104821
>>48107908
>>48107988
Good morning anons
>>48108709
Funny you should mention that, draw-fag and I have been talking fairly extensively about styles and that sort of thing. I hope he doesn't mind me posting this - especially as we are likely to go with a much simpler cartoonier webcomic type style.
Be nice as this is a very early draft but it does at least show we've been up to something.
I'll be around a couple hours just now so I might as well continue and try to finish this off before going to celebrate 'Murica day.
>>48109241
Do you remember that very crisp looking drawing of Aldous on the wiki page?
That was always what I envisioned personally. However, this stuff looks good but the lines are a little soft and indistinct so it can be slightly hard to tell what's going on.
Otherwise, solid stuff.
>>48099784
So, going forward in time slightly, we rejoin the party in a purloined fishing vessel ("In the Name of Cod") a few days later. Crude diving suits have been fashioned and with some help from the lunatic Dr Ure we have an air-pumping station set up which is powered by half a dozen Galvelociraptors. The air pumps connecting via tubes to each suit. The suits themselves have a very small reserve of air. The suits have positive buoyancy so if we removed the belt of lead weights we would shoot back up to the surface.
Bard: Guys what about the bends?
DM: That's a very good point Bard, what are you all going to do about the bends?
>Arguing
>>48109357
That's the style we're thinking about going back to. I'll let drawfriend speak more on the topic if he appears.
>>48109446
We know the bends doesn't occur at a specific depth but is more a function of how quickly one ascends. If we have a managed ascent (say removing one lead weight every minute or two and coming up over half an hour) we should be totally fine. However we are trying to use atmospheric diving suits (so we'll stay at about surface pressure anyway) so it may not actually be an issue at all.
The bottom is about ~100M down which we realise is actually further down than anyone dived in such a suit until at least about 1920 and these are very much bodged together suits. However in our favour we do have the wizard who if he senses anyone being likely to spring a leak can repair the suit before the occupant even knows there's a problem. Reasoning that the wizard allows for pretty much factory level precision repair at depth we feel pretty happy.
Satisfied we aren't going to just implode, the party sit on the edge of the 'Cod and fall backward into the water.
I've been trying to find a good picture for you all to set the mood.
We are diving well below where natural light penetrates. It's very very dark down here. We also have no means of communicating with one another - except that the wizard can ding on our helmets to try to direct us if we get lost, and if we want to talk it'll have to be by pressing face-glass together.
We have torches and while some of our weaponry will work underwater, the rest we have decided to place in leather bags sealed with tar.
The descent takes us from light to darkness, to something beyond darkness. Six little spots of light that as we hit the seabed send up a huge plume of silt, bringing visibility down to a metre if that. The slightest movement of our feet sends more of the stuff into the water. We sensibly decided to rope ourselves together but now we are each isolated from one another and yet only a metre or two apart.
You can sort of see some silt here here but those divers are not as deep as us, nor are they plodding along the bottom like we are.
>>48109839
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vUHqtNCK878
MOOD MUSIC
So to recap, we are going to fight god knows what, if we want to run away we'll have to be slowly lifted up to the surface, we can't see a damn thing, the wizard can only vaguely guide us, and we are roped together and pretty much helpless.
The wizard is in the middle.
To really hammer home the helplessness for us, the DM decides he wants to really mess with people.
Step 1: the party cannot communicate with one another unless the players are physically holding hands. The party are roped together in a manner which is clockwise from the DM and you can't talk to anyone who isn't in that sequence.
The wizard is, for all purposes, driving the party.
He stumbles and by the time he has righted himself with the help of the bard behind him, he realises two rather concerning things. The guide rope has snapped just in front of him - sending Cruella, Angus, and Me off into the darkness unattached (but still guidable) and there's very possibly something big and nasty lurking out there in the gloom.
Additionally, if he were counting helmets, there now seem to be seven of them.
>>48110006
2spook. Underwater shit is so frightening
>>48110273
fun isn't it?
>>48110006
The thing is the players can all listen to this but are totally unable to do a thing about it. The wizard can guide us and try to bring the two halves of the party together but I (as the one on the rope in front of him) have no idea there's even a problem yet.
Hell yeah, America day and britbongsteros all at the same time.
>>48110566
And a happy 'Murica day to you too anon.
>>48110361
There's still something out there in the mud or at least that's what the wizard reckons, and there's also the issue of seventh party member.
All the rest of the party can do is watch, remember that.
The wizard tries frantically to guide us all into a circle. Something is interfering with his tapping, people are getting mixed up, airlines are being crossed.
The tramping of heavy lead shod boots is causing even more silt to rise, we're entirely obscured now, lights do nothing more than illuminate the filth in front of you, then suddenly something might loom through it, a hand, the back of a helmet, a tentacle.
>A tentacle
fuck.
>>48110006
>>48109839
>XCOM: Terror From the Deep intensifies
>>48110660
Panic is starting to set in. The party can't do anything but beg the wizard to do something, the wizard can barely concentrate as he tries to process so many things at once, to direct six people, to try to assess whatever threat it is around us, and to try to ascertain if one of us isn't who we should be.
Imagine that choking sensation of being isolated in your helmet, breath rasping, horrible tasting air being pumped down, and only the rank smell of your own sweat and rubber as you try not to hyperventilate. How quickly in that sweating, horrible little box you'd lose your mind, and most of us have no idea what's going on. Then a tentacle traces across the glass of your helmet and something grabs your hand.
The bard has finally worked out there's something wrong. He grips the wizard tightly and starts pulling in on the rope behind him.
The Navvie is heavy but he's not that heavy, rather than allow the rope to go taut and just wait, the bard drags himself and the wizard into the gloom. The Navvie can be made out wrestling with something, something that has lots of tentacles.
>>48110695
an under-the-sea game has been on the cards in this setting for forever, I'm actually surprised it's taken so long
>>48110775
I'm looking forward to the deep sea XCOM remake, I still have fond memories of playing the original one back in 95.
>FML pic related is 20 years old and I remember when it came out
>>48110940
>tfw realizing Terror from the Deep was a mere three years before I started paying attention to PC gaming
>I could have played it when it was new if I hadn't been a console kid at the time
Feels bad man
>>48110940
>>48112713
I completely missed out on XCom the first time around, but got absolutely hooked after Enemy Unknown and went back and discovered what true fear was with the originals.
I'm rather looking forward to playing XCom 2: We Terrorists Now when I get back to the UK.
Now pretty much everyone that isn't the wizard is down to using a knife, and the wizard has his hands full trying to wrangle the party. In the gloom he has no idea how successful he's being but it seems like other hands are joining in in assisting the navvie. The sheer amount of silt and nastiness being thrown up makes it impossible to tell.
Eventually the tentacles withdraw with the creature either going to die or lick its wounds.
There's still the issue that we can't tell who is who, or where, or what is going on.
The wizard manages to get us all to stand in a cirlce, slowly waiting for the silt to settle and visibility to improve. Our hands are linked and bear in mind again that the rest of us has no idea there might be a seventh party member.
>>48113108
>That moment of blind panic the first time your point man steps around a corner into face eating range of a Chrysalid.
>>48114525
It was always that horrible "glorulp" noise when they laid an egg that got me.
Because of this thread I reinstalled Terror From The Deep.
Fuck Biodrones.
That is all.
Bump for more bongsteros
much freedom has been celebrated. I will continue this tomorrow if it lives.
See, the problems you have are still all related to basic story structure. Its nice that you're DM did some research, but in an effort to push the boundries he basically resorted to a monster of the week sort of serial with a bunch of disconnected plot hooks and an open ended story line that never gets resolved.
It delves into surrealism but never provides any sort of linear narrative, its just a bunch of disjointed disconnected ideas that have no relationship towards one another, a non-sequiter broken up by repetitive and redundant fight scenes without much in the way of a narrative.
If you can't make sense out of you're vision its just as trite and meaningless as the same cliched narrative you've heard a hundred times before, with a few visceral scenes and endearing anecdotes added in for flavor.
I give it a B+. It has the rudiments of story structure and a quirky narrative style but its mostly fluff and hot air.
>>48109241
>>48109357
>However, this stuff looks good but the lines are a little soft and indistinct so it can be slightly hard to tell what's going on.
I agree completely.
I had a vision of full color and in applying that I lost a lot of definition.
I'm currently stuck with a new program that hid the layer opacity setting and crashes when it feels like it.
Also, my linework is my greatest weakness.
>Otherwise, solid stuff.
Thanks!
>>48109446
>That's the style we're thinking about going back to. I'll let drawfriend speak more on the topic if he appears.
I appear early to bump.
I'm sketching up a version of Aldous but it's not quite there yet and I didn't want the thread to die while I finished.
>>48122152
Ey, have you read the full storytiem, on 1d4chan?
It's long as balls, but there are overarching plots (at least 2 of them, the necromancers and the martian war) and things from past adventures get called back to with some regularity.
There's also a fair bit of alcohol involved, which explains the surrealism and slightly disjointed nature somewhat
>>48122173
Okay, this was just an experimental sketch and it took me twenty minutes to decide the proper way for a dwarf to hold a gatling shotgun, but here it is.
The lines aren’t the smoothest and I’ll try a simpler approach to shading, but this is about how it’ll go.
I tend to skew towards more realistic proportions and Britbongsteros, now that I’ve reread some of it, demands a more comical style than I usually do.
I’m going to shoot for a mix between Judge Dredd and The Tick, but if I come close to landing there, we’ll see.
Bumping for interest
Good morning folks.
>>48122152
Thank you?
This adventure is very much a one off piece of silliness for fun so I guess that came across.
As >>48122521 suggests you might want to try the big campaigns in the Wiki.
>>48123006
That looks pretty solid to me
Your art style reminds me of an old friend from MSPA
>>48125591
Thanks
>>48122152
*tips fedora*
Have you made one of the most popular greentexts of all time you judgemental douche? No? Then fuck off.
bumpan
>>48129717
Aldous come and save us from this bumpless nightmare
>>48130221
Well he is in New Orleans, and yesterday was Murrica day, so he's likely busy and/or hungover
>>48130261
Oh, yeah, the big easy ain't so easy day two
Maybe he'll be inspired by burgersteros
>>48130261
Both. It doesn't help that the weather is actually actively trying to kill me.
>>48125794
Drawfriend you said something about lacking access to the program you previously made drawings with, which program was it?
>>48130664
Well you are a scot (or scotland-dweller) in the deep south, of course it is
I prefer to use GIMP to finish hand drawn drawings, but when I have time to work on art, I don't have access to a computer that I can download programs onto. So I'm left with online software
>>48131351
Obviously I meant to reply to >>48130709
>>48131122
I am absolutely dying.
A short break to drink lots of water and beer then posting.
As an aside this PBR stuff ain't awful. It's not even pretending to be beer.
>>48132938
On an entirely irrelevant and unrelated note, is it unpatriotic to drink Mexican beer on the 4th of July?
>>48134661
Only if passing over PBR and Bud in favor of Guinness is also considered unpatriotic anon. If so we are both due for a tar and feathering.
Hello anons I'm kinda hammered so is it ok if I finish this tomorrow?
I blame NOLA and traps.
>>48136545
Take all the time you need. Also, do be aware that there is such thing as good beer in America, it just takes some looking.
Our liquor will put you on your assistance though.
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade
He'd let us in, knows where we've been
In his octopus' garden in the shade
I'd ask my friends to come and see
An octopus' garden with me
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade.
We would be warm below the storm
In our little hideaway beneath the waves
Resting our head on the sea bed
In an octopus' garden near a cave
We would sing and dance around
Because we know we can't be found
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden in the shade
We would shout and swim about
The coral that lies beneath the waves
(Lies beneath the ocean waves)
Oh what joy for every girl and boy
Knowing they're happy and they're safe
(Happy and they're safe)
We livin?
>>48145022
Write fagging to resume around 19:00
>>48138929
>>48140277
>>48141246
>>48141488
>>48142402
Nice way of providing us with a day of bumps.
We would be so happy you and me
No one there to tell us what to do
I'd like to be under the sea
In an octopus' garden with you.
>>48147013
Thanks.
It seemed appropriate.
Hello anons. I'm only slightly late which as you know is quite good for me. Postan now.
>>48136684
I drank a lot of something called a "fireball" the other night, a horrific mistake.
>>48142402
I really like this method of bumping.
>>48150983
Almost like it was drawn for this thread...
New thread theme:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S6uR1rZjKkM
pull up a chair, it's time to get comfy, I'm here all night and I've got a decent sized cigar.
>>48113108
It takes a while for the silt to settle, a good long while. Remember the Wizard is the only one who knows why we've stopped, why we're standing in a circle holding hands.
Imagine waiting in the horrible inky darkness, illumination being provided by a torch which doesn't do anything more than show particles of mud an inch in front of your faceplate, unable to hear anything other than your own breathing, heart racing and no idea what might be out there.
Eventually it's clear enough to count lights. Seven lights.
You can't see the face of the person in the suit unless you're up and close. As the party realises there's party + 1, things become very interesting.
>These suits were jury rigged and likely individually distinct Aldous
Yes, but it's pretty damn silty and dark still.
>>48151998
The Wizard is able to get everyone's attention by materialising a small cannon ball in front of himself. This is more than enough to demonstrate to everybody that he is a wizard.
It also rather handily gives us a sort of nominated inquisitor.
The wizard is able to go from faceplate to faceplate.
Aldous,
Cruella,
Bard,
Angus,
Bard,
Navvie.
>Bard: Oh fuck there's two bards!
>Navvie: KILL THEM BOTH
>>48152101
The Wizard can't think of a way of deciding who is who. They're both carrying an oilskin which looks exactly like the one with the pipes in it.
This is actually a bit of a challenge as the DM obviously won't let us talk to each other (in character) and we know pretty well that this thing is going to probably explode with lots of tentacles.
Thinking scientifically, the critters (such as the crew above) replicate humans reasonably well, clothing and other items they can at least fool the senses into thinking it's there (so for example they might look to be carrying a gun, it might even go bang, but it probably can't shoot bullets if that makes sense), in this case they also fooled the Wizard's senses into thinking there are seven diving helmets
>Aren't you roped together?
Same thing.
>>48152205
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e3MLeHGkYO0
The party have naturally edged away from Bard A and Bard B, the DM (on the understanding that we will always have someone watching the two of them) allows us to talk.
The bard meanwhile is marvelling at his own complexion. Majestic chucklefuck that he is when suddenly something occurs to him.
>>48152312
The bard reasons as follows.
>I know I'm me.
>Therefore if I know I'm me, then the other one obviously isn't me.
>Therefore, if I stab my double, everything will be fine.
So he does.
>>48152403
This actually goes fairly well for once.
Except that Bard B doesn't explode into a mess of tentacles and things, it just bleeds a lot and thrashes a bit with a knife in it's stomach.
To an impartial observer, Bard A has just stabbed Bard B with an unknown motive
>>48152433
The bard is smart like that of course.
The party can see what might have been the logic here, but on the other hand if the tables were reversed, it sure does look like the impostor just stabbed our bard.
More to the point anything the Bard now does will make him seem suspicious.
>Ah Bard..
(back in about an hour)
>>48154338
There are a surprising number of penguin and octopus images.
Also back.
>>48152498
The wizard does his best to weld something over the wound to Bard B. We don't know which Bard is our bard.
We take the wounded and with a knife at his back (do knives even work on weird tentacley things?) prepare to slightly less cunning and gloriously, make our assault on the underwater enclave of ... we are not entirely sure.
Up above there is one bonkers Doctor and that's as close to sanity as this one is going to get.
We mount a rise and below us, we see our objective for the first time. There are ship wrecks, these are dark and barnacle encrusted, in the centre sits what can only be described as a facility. An underwater building? It looks like an oil rig, and it's very well lit.
Cargo from the ships is strewn around from steam engines to bricks to pottery.
In the distance we can see Bathys making for shore.
>>48154960
Entrance to the facility isn't too hard. There's a suspiciously unguarded airlock.
The air hoses prove a problem to actually get in so we have unscrew the things and pull on them to be hauled up. We still have our reserve tanks but now we're down here and alone. Also one of our party members is who knows fucking what.
>>48155130
So, time to work out what the flying fuck is going on down here. We've had a taste of quite a lot of DM level weird but things feel like they're only just starting.
Something must have a very good reason for stealing ships and eating people. There also must be a damn good reason why there was French script on the Bathys.
The interior of the facility is dank, the sound of a thousand drips reverberates through the darkness.
There's also the very, very distinct noise somewhere far off of honking.
>>48155278check your email, dorf bro
>>48155278
>Honking.
Oh yes. Honking.
We have something much more immediate to attend to however.
The bard is carefully held at gunpoint, while the other bard is stripped out of his suit. The bizarre maggoty situation with the wound is enough of a clue to tip us off to him not being human.
The way he begs us not to as we pour flamethrower fuel over him is really kinda horribly grimdark. Burns good though.
>>48155308
Email checked and replied.
So, ok last few posts then I really do have to go to bed.
The flames give us the same result as in the gaol. What the hell are these things?
We're somewhat inured to terror, also bizarre, horror and all that other stuff, but there's so much oddness going on here it's almost too much to take in.
The party take a moment to think things through:
Person replacing weird things.
Bathys.
Some French connection.
Honking.
Villager stealing (in fractions).
Why is it all happening off the very north east coast of Scotland?
Dr Ure seems to have been fighting as best he can against this stuff (he's also bonkers) for quite some time.
bump time
I'm stealing this whole thing for future use.
>>48159180
Imitation is the highest form of flattery. I have rather a busy day today but will try to update as we go.
>>48154960
>we can see Bathys making for shore
Oh that's not good
Time, I think, for a bump
Right anons. I am going to be working late tonight.
I leave it up to anon as to whether to keep this up or start a new one.
>>48166033
All day bumps or new bread?
I put it to the jury of time and thread-watchers
>>48167369
I vote to bump.
I bump with vote.
>>48168822
A sound idea anon
Just curious, has anyone else seen one of these before?
Hi,
Thank you for your application.
We are pleased to inform you that we are taking your pitch to the next stage.
Please be aware though, that you may yet hear a 'no' from us, and that there will not likely be any specific feedback if that is the case, due to the volume of applications we have received. Please be assured though, that no matter the outcome, you will hear from us (we do endeavour to respond to every applicant to ensure they know what the results are either way).
As we are extremely busy, it may be some time before we can get back to you with the next steps, we thank you for your patience!
Kind Regards,
The Black Library Author Team
>>48171738
Not me...
>>48171738
Not I.
Postan this evening Gents.
Wait, Britbong thread... THAT I HAVE NOT MISSED?
>>48099642
No, I'm wiki anon.
And I'm pleased to FINALLY catch one of these threads live again.
I've missed like the last 3.
This is also where I've gotten to reading the thread since I have to go out and do stuff now.
I'll bump it now since I might not be able to bump it later in time.
>>48171738
Nor I
>>48171738
What? Is someone trying to publish this?
>>48180179
That was my first impression from that post as well.
>>48181356
The anon didn't give us any context for it either.
Bumping.
It's gotta be evening somewhere.
>>48184158
It's evening here anon, though it won't actually start getting dark for another 4 hours or so.
Thank you one and all for bumping.
>>48171738
Actually that one was me, my namefag fell off.
>>48175822
It is technically still evening. So here I am.
Have some music
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIVe-rZBcm4
>>48176408
Hurrah, finally, we meet again.
>>48182615
Sorry about that, re namefag.
Additionally fuck you captcha I've been trying post this for five minutes.
I wonder what ever happened to Germ-Anon and Grumpy-Anon?
>>48185319
So you're trying to get this published or something now?
>>48185363
Actually that was one of my other projects which ended up in being posted here rather than the story thread where it belonged - it's been that kind of day.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyFniXdqsQQ
Angus is the first to say it. "Ok. DM. Honking, French, and stealing villagers in bits or not. I know what this is."
>French-clown-leech-spider things
Bard: Wat?
Navvie: Oh god not those things.
Cruella: You mean... yuck. They ate me.
Wizard: Bugger them.
DM: You'll find out...
So, this adventure took a bit of a peculiar turn about here.
>>48185466
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f_76Orifags
Anyway, what's it like in the facility?
It's warm, unpleasantly so. Hot enough that we're sweating before we are out of our diving suits. Hot enough that it feels like breathing blood.
The lighting such as it is redlit, like a submarine at battle stations. It's built of rusted, damp, dripping steel, covered in pipes and gauges, valves and a billion other things. The whole thing is cast in that red light, making everything crimson or black.
It was clearly a significant investment for someone.
Why on earth would the French of all people build this? They're just slutty elves. What the hell is that about? This really isn't their style, nor is it Dr Ures - he's just weird, but not this kind of villain lair sort of weird.
By the way if you're wondering about the less normal music, the DM is playing this sort of stuff on his laptop for reasons we aren't entirely sure of.
We proceed very slowly. Not being particularly happy about anything down here. Least of all the lack of alarms, bodies, creepy shit or anything else.
This place should really have been noticed when it was built, it's huge.
>>48185634
Singing on old records like that always make me think of how burnt up rooms look melted instead of burnt.
>>48185634
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aKXi7f7AFmU
(the DM starts playing the above)
So we're used to exploring abandoned facilities and dungeons, this place isn't. It's got no sign of habitation. As in never lived in. There's not even the debris that builders leave around. It's like it fucking grew here and we're the first people to enter it.
Angus in theory is the engineer of the party (with some help from the Wizard) but it's Cruella who raps on one of the pipes experimentally.
>What are these things for?
She taps a gauge. I mean what the fuck is this thing? Come on boys. Explain?
Five dice hit the table and permutations of
>I roll to explain whatever the fuck that thing is
follow on from the dice, but oddly, none of us can make any head or tail of it.
It's all connected, almost knitted together as much as interlacing pipework can be, as much as gauges, valves, speaking tubes, and other bumf can be. Some if it's slung across the roof - making the experience of entering the facility seem like walking under low brush, and other pipes and things are set across the walkway, seemingly at ankle height by design because fuck you.
One of the speaking tubes honks. Then a louder honk comes echoing from somewhere up the passage, or maybe under the floor, or outside, or Wales, in this mess we can't fucking tell.
The further in we get, the denser this stuff gets.
Stooped, with aching backs in tight confines, half crawling in boiling heat and unpleasant watery damp, the fluid black in the light.
We pass under shafts which seemingly extend upward to other floors or god knows where (in theory we could climb up but we're going inward for now). Angus traverses what he thinks is a puddle, putting his hand outward to balance himself in the ankle deep water. Instead he sinks right in.
He comes up again almost instantly treading water.
So anything coming at us could come from below, or above, or any direction it feels like.
>>48185843
Cruella has some pretty funkily good hearing, so does Angus, one of them picks up on a noise. So deep it can't really be heard at all, it's more that you're aware of the absence of noise. It's then followed by a more high pitched ping which is right up at the other end of the frequency range.
Very shortly afterward, Cruella thinks on both of these frequencies
>If I can hear those, you know that really does mean I can speak Whale?
The sound is any event regular enough to sound almost mechanical, like an engine, or a heartbeat.
I've never been in these threads, have no interest in them, and don't follow GoT at all, but for Christ's sake it's called WESTEROS. THREE SYLLABLES. Call your thing BONGSTEROS or BRITSTEROS but Britbongsteros just sound unwieldy and pointless.
>>48185957
GoT? The fuck kind of thread do you think this is?
>>48185922
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OBN56wL35IQ
Our slow, painful, soggy pace is becoming even worse now. It's hard to tell where to place your feet and simultaneously watch for low hanging pipe work. Something coils around Angus's leg.
>>48185957
Hi?
I thank you for your constructive if somewhat autistic criticism.
>>48185764
spoopy AF/10
>>48185957
Additionally, Britbong is fairly regular 4chan parlance isn't it?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=royW0LZspXs
The something comes from the Navvie. Or what we thought was the Navvie.
Turns out we didn't get our Navvie back from the octo(thing) when it fucked off. We got something else. Something much worse.
With very little ado the party are quite happy to shoot, chainsaw, stab, and uselessly play music at, the impostor that was their friend.
The amorphous tentacley horror slinks into the the mess of pipes and is practically indistinguishable from them in this light, water, and environment.
A (smirking) party member down (the Navvie's PC has something else to occupy him) we try to continue. It's almost impossible to watch every direction, or to even watch each other - any of us could be replaced at any moment...
As much as I like seeing these things unfold live, I really can't stay up any later than this if I hope to function tomorrow morning when I need to get up.
So bet of luck to the thread not dying.
>>48186563
your bumps and blessings are appreciated. It's also nearly bed time for me now that I've finished fucking about doing chores and preparing for the morning. I don't think we'll finish this tonight and I'm away in the early AM so a new thread will have to happen at some point.
>>48186204
The Navvie's player seems to relish his task of hunting us. We don't know whether to head into the facility, or out of it, or up, or down, but we've also established we are lost as fuck (no one even thought about a trail of bread crumbs.
The Navvie-Thing seems to regenerate as well, it can be seen off by bullets and flame, but it always seems to come back, always from some new angle. Flowing from between the thicket of pipes. Rearing up from a pool of water. Dropping from the ceiling.
Always in some new form of amorphous face eating blob. The thing seems to call back to a number of critters we've faced, things from the Isle of Mann, Coliunn, Witches, Cthulu's Dad. Not mimicking them but enough that there's similarity.
It also just will not die.
Whichever direction we take the path seems to shift, to twist, and definitely not to make sense.
The Wizard can sort of machete his was through the pipes but it takes quite a lot of time. What really doesn't help is that I get separated.
>Wats that drawing Aldous?
Another Drawfag's interpretation of my original drawing task that appeared recently.
>>48186887
The pipes aren't a solid mass like the bulkheads around us (though pretty bloody close). They are however solid enough to block sight almost entirely after three or four feet.
The party can still hear me, they can't see me. The Wizard picks what he thinks is the best direction and starts bending.
Meanwhile, alone, in the light of my torch I watch the darkness for movement. Trying to watch every degree of the compass at once with my back to the pipes.
The Navvie-thing can worm it's way through the pipes as it's pretty much an amorphous blob of bits (think the way an octopus can fit into and then pop out of a jam jar)
The gatling shotgun has drum magazines that hold 128 rounds, at best that's sixteen seconds of sustained fire. That might seem like a lot but it takes a while to reload, and if the thing that was the Navvie...
....just happens to be crawling along the ceiling....
>brrt
....drops from the ceiling....
>brrt
...starts to gather itself to charge...
>brrt
...manages to walk into the hail of shot as I walk fire onto it...
>brrrrrrrrrrrrt
....keeps fucking coming....
>brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
...and coming....
>brrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
....losing tentacles and chunks of flesh and bone....
>brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrt
....but keeps coming.....
>brclick.
...Fuck.
>>48187090
yknow I do like a good cliffhanger.
What say we call it for this thread there as I will need to go to bed soon.
Unfortunately I will have some difficulty postan tomorrow and won't be back from my thing until Sunday night.
The choice is Anon's as to what happens. I'm gonna be in buttfuck nowhere with a large amount of firearms so won't be able to update until I return.
>>48186887
additionally, (aside from digit related annoyance) I can't quite work out if guy on the right is eyeing up the barmaid, Cruella, or Angus.
>>48187239
That was the idea
>>48187277
and you got dubs whilst I was moaning about it.
Anyway, I rather liked it as a detail.
>>48187217
Enjoy blowing the shit out of the countryside Aldous. It's basically official pass time in some parts of the US.
>>48187433
Bill Burr tells a story where that begins with a stranger inviting him to go shoot a car. He says he can always tell how North or South he is in the country by whether the first part of that story gets a laugh or not.
People in the south are like, "And?"
>>48187553
>>48187433
It's one of my favourite things about down here.
>tfw when you identify as a redneck ammo-sexual but are always miswhatevered as a bong.
>>48189420
That's a good brew but holy balls it kicked my ass. Taught me why treating it like a stout is/was a bad idea.
I'll give this a bump now so that it might still be up later for me to continue reading it.
Me too
And I have updated the 1d4chan wiki entry with everything new from this thread.
>>48186887
That is quite a nice pic.
I'll bump it again.
I have no reason not to.
>>48171738
I've seen these! Look up the 1d4chan, it's incredibly good shit!
>>48186887
Holy shit that looks so much better
>>48185957
>Britbongsteros just sound unwieldy and pointless.
Not only that, but it also sounds a bit silly.
Silly, unwieldy, and pointless. All great things about the story.
Yep. It's absolutely a perfectly appropriate name.
I'll bump... again.
>>48130339
>burgersteros
Is that what the Americas were called in this?
hungover bump
5 hours of sleep bump.
Finding Bloom County 2015 strips in any decent quality is somewhat difficult for some reason.
Prepare precautions per proxy penguins.
And again since I choose to make the thread last.
>>48187755
>>48187553
Found this image while looking for appropriate penguin pics
Huh
Bumping it again before bed.
Hello Anons.
Just got home as a result of (I believe) protests by a group which /pol/ gets very excited about. If no one minds I'm off to bed. I rather appreciate this is piss poor thread management but I'm knackered.
>>48219470
Get some rest.
Bedtime stories of tentacle horror can wait.
>>48219545
Thank you anon. Also that picture is adorable.
>>48219470
>I'm knackered
>>48206130
>5 hours of sleep bump.
>>48219545
>Get some rest.
>Bedtime stories
>>48187217
>I will need to go to bed soon.
Fun fact: Britbongsteros is an anagram for: Sot robbing rest.
>>48223128
That is a fun fact.
Oh hey guys, just a quick heads-up:
Seems like the archive links to the threads from thread 15 onwards aren't working properly. I'm not sure if they're just mistyped or something to do with archive moe itself though.
While the main content are still in the wiki, some (like me) do like reading the archived threads so that's quite a shame.
>>48223852
I've been meaning to fix that.
moe died quite a while ago, then was replaced with desustorage, then that died and was replaced with desuarchive.
I really should just replace them all with warosu links, but I forget every time since updating that page takes a while every time.
>>48223979
And fixed.
Though I don't know what threads to add to the archive list since this thread started as a re-take from another one some months ago that died before the story could really get underway.
So I'm not sure if this should count as thread 20 or thread 22.
>>48224156
And it seems warosu doesn't even have the two prior attempts at telling this story in its archives, so what the hell?
This would be thread 20
https://desuarchive.org/tg/thread/44844770/
This would be thread 21
https://desuarchive.org/tg/thread/45520229/
And this thread here would be thread 22.
But 20 & 21 were both threads that didn't last very long and everything covered in them was re-posted to this thread, so I don't know if they merit inclusion in the archive list.
>>48224225
20a, b, c?
>>48224838
That's an option.
I think the only thing those other threads have that this thread is lacking is some of the explanation as to where in the timeline this story takes place at.
Bumping it again.
Postan about 20:00 NOLA time.
>>48229878
Alright. I'll bump to that.
>>48229878
>>48231702
Going to be a bit later. Had a very weird day.
>>48232772
Anons, while your bumps have been commendable, I think given what's going on here I may need to let this thread die. If you all wish to follow the story further it may be a little while (days) before I can continue.
>>48232866
Well OK.
It's always pure luck when I manage to find one of your threads before they drop off the board.
Understandable.
I will cease bumping for now, but will remain vigilant.
>>48232866
Stay safe Aldous. I'll be looking forward to the continuation of the saga.
