D&D Stories thread? I'll start.
>Be Me, 17 Year old. Unfamiliar with D&D at the time
>play D&D with my dad & the rest of the family
>dad has played the game since it came out
>has a good idea on what items do, and how to make homebrew characters & items.
>first character is Gnome Sorcerer I named Gabe Newell
> lost him
>second character was a snotty elf named Aldrel
>botched with one health fighting a pack of ogres
>-24 HP
>3rd & Current character: Grognak Bearslayer
(Fallout fans will notice who Grognak is)
>I had given up at that point. I was basically making a character I wanted to play once, and die.
> Grognak Bearslayer was A Human Barbarian taking the Bezerker path.
>after a couple weeks, I recognize he isn't dying.
>start feeling cocky
>next days of D&D are just normal fights & shit
> the next day however, things get lovely
>next D&D game, stumble into a hole
> a caved in stronghold
> we found two baby electric dragons there
>dad starts making them go "Play? Play!?"
>fuckinshit
>they shoot their electroshit at us, being the cunts they are.
>get Idea. "these cretins might be great pay if we bring them to the nearest town!"
>nobody else notices, except me
>dad DM makes frightened face.
>"Roll Grapple"
> Draggo: 15
>Groggo: 17
>"roll to pin"
>end up pinning him
>tie him up in a rope burrito
>my brother ends up killing the second one.
>shitdicks.
>we climb out, bring the dragons to a town, with faces of what i assumed to be awe on villager faces.
>approached by the man who runs the majority of the place
>expecting hearty sum of gold
>"wh....What have you done...."
>wot
>Grognak, with the intelligence of brick, apparently forgot that where there are babies, there's a mother.
>que dragon yelling noise.
>grab man, sit him on horse
> ride off into distance
>turn around. Village in flames
Never went back to that story, but planning on reminding dad about it, play game with him again. Moar stories?
>>47874002
> making your characters into shitty memes
>>47874204
Didn't realize Grognak was a meme. I just chose the name because I figured "oh he'll only survive a day" so I gave him the first Barbarian name that popped into my head.
>>47874204
> whining about memes on meme central...
> 10 years old, making dungeons with my classmate after school
> I create a dungeon with every monster in the book in it
> friend is clamoring to get started, was done w his 20 min ago
> peeks at my dungeon map
> "this is retarded, anon!"
> no surprises now because he's seen the whole map and monsters. fak
> decide to play his map, my fighter drops in
> five rooms, no monsters at all
> the only items in the dungeon are some sharp nonmagical kitchen knives, damage 1d4
> sigh, put everything back in box, go home
>playing D&D Expert Edition
>Rogue, Cleric, Wizard, Rogue2, and Fighter skulking around the hideout of suspected smugglers/forgers
>mess around a bit and maintain "stealth" by bashing heads and hiding bodies.
>come up to narrow room with high ceiling and large double doors at the other end.
>sitting on a chair and propped in the corner (but still close to the doors) is the only guard...he's sleeping...and he's an Ogre.
>Rogue pulls out his crossbow.
>sneaks up to Ogre guard and point blanks him in the chest.
>Ogre stunned. Falls from his chair, groggy, wounded, pissed.
>party charges.
>Ogre rights himself.
>Rogue nopes the fuck out of there and shuts the doors behind him, sealing the party inside.
>Ogre pulls a ring from his pocket. Ogre is now invisible. Starts beating face.
>Rogue2 trying to pick lock of double door. Wizard plinks with his sling cuz out of magic today. Cleric and Fighter fend off Ogre while yelling at Rogue.
>Rogue finally comes back into the room.
>Cleric "bends bars/lifts gates" to pick up the Rogue and swing him like a skinny, screaming flail.
>Finally kill Ogre.
>Rogue near death.
>Cleric carries him over his shoulder as an "improvised weapon" for rest of session.
They were a special group...
>>47875790
>not scouring the second last room
>not discovering the secret passage to the water tunnel
>not fighting the mimic at the end for wealth and a new mimic-skin hat
Danny worked really hard on that dungeon you know.
I was hoping someone would make a thread like this. I got a new donk story to share. Though do me a favor and lower your expectations a smidgen, this ain't no love potion tier tale.
So for those who have no idea who this donk is let me tell you. Donk is a half vamp flind gnoll, fighter/barbarian in 3.5. Setting is MTG's Ravnica.
So my dm is an old school grognard and a real dick to boot, but the loveable kind that doesn't ruin the game outright. Was having a hard time challenging donk and his party so he watched Aliens and built a "simic" xenomorph race. Face huggers, drones, queen, the works.
Introed them in a nightmare showcase that still makes me grind my teeth. Donk had 4-7 of the chestbursters pop out after that fiasco and suitably put the fear of xenos in him. We recently blundered into the district where they've been breeding the damn things. Equiped with a necklace of fireballs and helm of brilliance from random loot chests donk decided he was done looking over his sholder, its hunting time.
Come into little traiding post in a largely abandoned sector of the endless city plane.
See wizards boxing in a bunch of huggers in a building with magic shields.
Get into big and frankly boreing fight with clerics of orzove, again.
It's tough being ravnicas most wanted.
Mop up and notice the wizards high tailed it, leaving the failing shields behind.
15 walls of fire go up around the building and set it alight thanks to my helm.
Que brassy screaming and popcorn sounds.
All the sudden the wall just explodes out and a gargantuan sized queen bursts out followed by drones.
She hightails it while the drones tie us up.
finish um off and end session.
Next session we shop and get ready to finish this.
Its bug hunting time.
Track her to her original hive and start burning shit down to draw them out.
Works a little to well.
30+ facehuggers, 10 drones, 3 drones with scars (read badasses) come busting out of cover and rush us.
Cont....
>>47878852
We rain fireballs and bane arrows down on the opening wave, thinning the heard a bit.
Squashing bugs with my new acid resistant demon bone hammer.
We start getting the upper hand.
Suddenly queen coolaid mans through a building and spits acid everywhere, i fail save and lose about 1/5th my hp.
we notice she's wearing some kind of armor, making her body fireproof but not her face, tail or limbs.
She gets around my wall of fire and takes me down in three hits.
Group starts freaking out cause i almost never go down and never that fast.
They scramble, pulling out trump cards they been saving.
One rogue summons randm monster off an item, gets a fucking dinosaur.
Druid lets fly a lightning storm and starts zapping away.
Other rogue heals me with a potion and hides from big momma.
I wake to see a voilent storm raging overhead and the queen tangled up with a diplodicus.
"Donk dreaming?"
get caught in the fray and stepped on.
"Donk not dreaming! Donk nightmare!"
GTFO and start chugging potions, getting addicted in the prosess (house rule, 3 in a row risks it)
Dino rends her armor enough it stops working.
Rip necklace of fireball off and fling it at her yelling "donk mighty wizard! Now die!"
Hit her and it with another fireball from my helm.
You could have seen the explosion from orbit if not for the clouds, did nearly 300 dmg, vaporizing the queen, the dino and the 20 some odd facehuggers that had just crawled down its throat.
In the aftermath we find more eggs and a few stragglers in the building, leave none alive
Burn everything down for good measure.
Burn the nearby forest just in case.
Set fire to half the abandoned district just to be sure.
If we had a nuke we would have used it but the dm swore up and down we got um all and that the only one left was on another plane. The only chestburster that got away from me planes shifted to innistrad, my home plane.
So the only xeno to escape the genocide is the one based off donks DNA.
the end?
>>47879456
>So the only xeno to escape the genocide is the one based off donks DNA.
Innistrad's fucked. Murderdogdonkxenomorph is bad, bad news. Atleast you'll get a nice new adventure, I guess.
>>47880125
As if it wasn't already, at least for the humans. It'll probably ignore the undead unless they fuck with it. Not gonna lie, kinda looking forward to fighting it. Can't be worse than the queen (i hope)
