>be Paladin
>your mom gets a new boyfriend
>Maz'rah The Dark Tyrant
>all evil and shit
>can't kill him because mom made you promise not to
>he keeps trying to bond with you and get you to call him "dad"
>>47487837
>be Paladin
>mom has been seduced by evil
>not smiting evil stepdad
>not hate-fucking the righteous spirit back into your mom
It's like you've never played a Paladin before.
>>47487874
>Paladincest
>>47487837
The exact same thing happened to Perseus. Just go kill some snake chick with a paralyzing gaze and give it to him as a wedding gift.
>>47487874
Get out of here Oedipus! (Audio streams not allowed, the fuck is this bullshit?)
>>47487837
Sometimes you have to break a promise.
Sometimes thats the right thing to do.
>New human BBEG on the block kidnaps my character's elven mother to get at him
>She's something of a maneater as per my backstory and manipulated her way to power and fame
>The poor young human BBEG doesn't stand a chance to her wiles and she eventually has him eating out of her hand despite being his prisoner
>Mom ends up taking over his efforts with him as a symbolic figurehead
>Now have to fight against mom wanting to have a bit of fun instead
Wasn't even planned for the DM, when she got kidnapped we worked up her stats for fun, and mechanically she ended up outplaying the BBEG.
>>47487837
>Your mother said to promise not to kill the evil overlord
>YOU ACTUALLY FUCKING MADE THE PROMISE
Potato Paladin thread?
>>47487837
What's the source of that pic?
>>47488368
Darude Sandstorm
>>47488368
some seriers of shorts about a guy who calls random people pedophiles and then kills them. Pedofinder general or something.
>>47488683
Is it as edgy as it sounds or is it kinda funny?
Like is it Johnny the Homicidal Maniac?
>>47488683
Monkey dust?
>>47488708
I personally didn't care for it. I'd suggest looking it up and seeing for yourself.
>>47488708
It was a satire of the paedo panic in the UK at the same time, essentially the papers started going deep on paedo stories until people were convinced it was happening far more frequently than it really was, people kind of went a bit silly over it for a while. It got a bit witch-hunty, hence the cartoon.
>>47488708
Look up Monkey Dust. It's a comedy series, it's fucking hilarious and completely tongue-in-cheek.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XCywGhHQMEw
>>47488066
Storytime?
>>47487837
Gift "dad" with Helm of Opposite Alignment.
In front of mom.
Insist he tries it on.
>>47488963
"A bloke I met in the pub who knew for definite" is the best and most legitimate source of authority.
>>47489174
"That's my baby Jacob. I became a mother last week."
"So! You confess that for 9 months, you imprisoned a naked child in your stomach, before forcing him backwards through your genitalia, for your own sick amusement!"
"But that's how all babies are born!"
"ENOUGH!"
>>47489138
Well I mean, that's the storytime. Among other things the BBEG did to mess with us, was to kidnap my character's mother. Overtime using her experience and wiles she got him under her thumb, and then for fun tried playing at being a BBEG with his power/resources by acting through him.
When we finally put an end to it, she apologized and said it was all in good fun and she meant nothing by it.
>ywn have an evil party comprised of the Paedofinder General, Ivan Dobksy, Omar, Clive and Geoff
