What's the most "psssh... nothing personnel... kid" character/player you've had to deal with in tabletop roleplaying?
Recently a new player joined our D&D playgroup and the kid rolled, I shit you not, a fucking vampire ninja who licks the blood off his blade after every fight...
>>47412113
He was some sort of rogue with robot eyes from the future in a medieval fantasy campaign.
He quietly dropped like two sessions later when he realized nobody gave a damn.
I once sold my team out to the BBEG
from them on I was never allowed to play a rogue again (best group decision ever made imo).
>>47412113
in fairness, that's pretty in character for a vampire.
and ninja is a profession vampire would fit well into.
are they actually roleplaying as an edgelord or are you just taking it at face value and deciding it's 2edgy4u?
Once a guy made a necromancer dark elf named Umbra with a raven companion.
He had some super edgy backstory and was supposed to be some broody edgy character.
Instead he played him as a lolrandum character and the events if pic related happens
>running a gangland weird 30s campaign
>guy rolls a hooded, edgy donte wannabe
>tell him to cut that shit out real fast
>starts whining why
>"b-b-but the other players are allowed to play killers!"
>explain him how its now about being a killer, but being a boring, edgy fuck who just wants to sit in the corner looking all shady and edgy
The "other killers" he whined about was an axe murderer, a meek everyday guy constantly trying to battle his psychosis through medication and therapy but still losing a very well played out and sad character, a sociopath who was willing to lie, cheat and murder for power but preferred politics and negotiation and a worthless hack of a doctor who decided selling snake oil pays better but still liked being called doctor. These were characters, they did things, they wanted things, they feared things and they hated things. They had hooks, you could go places with them. You cant do anything with an edgelord character, he just wants to feel special.
>>47412304
isn't that in character for an elf?
>>47412113
I run a Ghostbusters campaign online, one guy that was around for 5 sessions tried to make basically the "guy who could do no wrong" who could not only move heavy things, but have good looks, a scientist and inventor (Which made him sucked since he put all his points so thinly he sucked at everything but since it was a new game, it was basically in the clear)
He also had magical paranormal abilities, able to read runes, and can summon ghosts to aid him (Which was kinda contradicting to the entire point of busting ghosts)
luckily he left after I implemented "experimental" equipment and agreed to test out the mega trap, but back fired and caused him to get a high medical bill, and a bill for damages within a housing unit.
I remember someone in my first campaign made a druid and broke into house, killed everyone inside and collected their teeth for spell components.
pretty sure he was being edgy on purpose, though, since he swapped to dm and we all had fun after that with nothing super over the top like that again.
>>47412476
I could actually see that work in a lot of ways. A druid treating humans as just another sort of animal and harvesting their stuff like a hunter collects deer horns. A completely neutral defender of the forest completely okay with massacring anyone while being completely okay and nonchalant about it, he simply doesnt consider morality, its tuesday for him. Or maybe its a wildman who hates civilization and lashes out aganist it etc.
I hope this thread is just jokes and bait
My groups are always full of intentional pastiches of roleplaying stereotypes so when we laughed our asses off at a new player's Killian Ironblood the half-demon-half-angel with MPD, we thought he was in on the joke. It was pretty awkward when he got super defensive over it. Unlike your usual stories where they storm out in a huff, he actually stuck it out and became pretty cool about it. His next character was better and we still play with him, the end.
>>47412629
You're "that guy" aren't you?
>>47412361
That last sentence is fucking on point.
Nothing is more poisonous to storytelling than some fuck who just broods and says "whatever" or "I don't care" to everything.
Edgelord characters are not meant for playing with the party. All these players want is to occasionally show up, outclass the party at whatever they're doing, then leave. While throwing Squall-style ellipses around so they look mysterious and badass.
>>47412669
everyone is "that guy"
even you
One night me and my group from high school played a one session game where one guy ended up being an elder Red Dragon at the end who killed the party for no reason
He bragged about it for 4 or 5 months like it was his greatest accomplishment to kill 3 other guys nowhere near as strong as him
>>47412956
Sad but true
>>47412996
That makes no sence. Why would the dm allow that?
>>47412425
Being lol so randumb xD ? No
Being insufferable ? Indeed.
Players wanted to be a party of clerics and do inquisition-y shit, do i whipped them up a Not!Innistrad world to inquisite.
two of the party weren't told before hand. Both agree with the premise and makes a fighters who's trying to become a paladin. Second one makes an edgy as fuck sorcerer who's only character point is "She's and atheist". acts involve trying to melt down silver relics to kill werewolves with and accusing the clerics of being lying wizards.
>>47413074
He had a major fetish for Red Dragons and Minotaurs.
What happened is, at that time, we'd been doing a LOT of one session games that went nowhere and never got past level one. Me and the other guys who didn't play Red Dragon were getting tired of it and asked our DM if we could have a higher level game that didn't require us to play base races. Apparently, he was not pleased by this.
I made a troll barbarian in 3.5 who, when in rage, had 1 more point of strength than the Red Dragon.
When Red Dragon decided to kill everyone, he stepped on my guy, and when I said I had enough strength to catch his foot, DM just said "You're not strong enough".
It was incredibly frustrating and nobody wanted to play with those guys anymore. DM is currently in prison for the next 10 years right now, though
>>47413268
10 years for what?
>>47413299
>>47413268
I second this question.
>>47413299
check'd and thirded
>>47413299
This was his 3rd strike, but this time, I think it was drugs and beating up his dad.
>>47413332
Oh, and the first two strikes were for drugs and abusing the elderly
>>47412956
No John, you are That Guy
>>47413355
d-does he have a grudge against old people?
>>47412113
>cut off a player's dick because he rolled a nat20 to bang the town
>I forget whether it was the DM or the player stated that included the party
>when it came to my turn to the fucking I used my barbaric rage to rip off his dick before he can have his way with me
>nat 20
And that's how my party gained a dickless cleric
>>47413355
>abusing the elderly
What did he work in a nursing home?
Some 13 year old motherfucker (I think he was the GM's bro don't fucking remember) was just playing a self insert of himself and all of his powers revolved around cutting himself
OH AND THE MOST EDGY SHIT DURING THE ENTIRE CAMPAIGN WAS THAT HE HAS TO ROLL TO CUT HIMSELF AND THEN SAYS HE SHOULD GET A BONUS FOR HAVING IRL EXPERIENCE WITH TEARS IN HIS EYES!
>>47413541
This is why all homebrew rules are shit
>>47413541
>HE HAS TO ROLL TO CUT HIMSELF AND THEN SAYS HE SHOULD GET A BONUS FOR HAVING IRL EXPERIENCE
Fucking powergamers I swear they're everywhere.
Threw a grenade at a little peasant girl, wore her bloody hat for the rest of the campaign
>>47413491
He lived with his grandmother.
First time, he decided to go for walk at midnight to go buy drugs. His grandmother locked the door, and he ended up breaking the door down and doing something violent. Pretty sure he hit her.
Second time, he deceived her to drive him to drug deals, since he never even tried to get his license. After a few times, she figured out what he was doing and managed to outsmart him and get him caught
Thia guy is a major piece of shit. I've known him since I was 6, and this kind of thing from him doesn't surprise me anymore. Every time he got arrested, I texted his mugshot to everyone from that group
>>47412113
> Playing a silver age capes games using the hero system set in the 80s
> Guy exploits all the imbalances of the system using complications
> makes the Vatican's black robbed assassin
> has the power to blink behind you
> Has diplomatic immunity and license to kill with a silver goth claw gauntlet
> Has a devil trigger because it's a cheap way to buy power
> Activating his "ultimate form" turns him into one winged angel sephiroth ff7 complete with 12 foot katana
He decided to ditch the character after the first session because he discovered vehicles were a cheaper way to spend points. Came back as an Eva.
>>47414043
>> Guy exploits all the imbalances of the system using complications
I had a very similar problem with hero system, except it was with one guy who misunderstood the multipower pool point-cost reduction effect and managed to make a character that was so powerful he could solo the entire party in two of his phases. But, he realized this and voluntarily ignored half of his powers and self-limited his defining power (insane density increase) to %70 maximum, except for when something emotionally traumatizing happened. Honestly one of the best characters he's ever played.
>>47414043
So he's just a decade too early, then?
Heh. Kinda makes me wonder how an edgelord campaign would go.
Myself first time playing tabletop. Ripped a goblins head off just to sound cool. I hate younger me. Now whenever I play evil, I play a more "nice with a deeper plan" types.
>>47412597
No, that would not work. That druid would just kill everyone they met and never leave their shithole. Edgelords can't be in 'parties' they are inherently against the idea of cooperation.
>>47414685
Heh... you wouldn't understand... kid
>>47413758
I won't lie, that made me chuckle. There's retarded edgy, and then there's just stupidly funny edgy
>>47414043
>> has the power to blink behind you
Tell me he at least said something along the lines of nothin' personnel kid
>>47412113
>a fucking vampire ninja who licks the blood off his blade after every fight
Did his character look like this?
>>47412113
r8 it m8
http://pastebin.com/bMzh3m1G
>>47413391
And then John was a Whizzard.
>>47412113
I've got a few honorable mentions.
A female Majin in a DBZ game. Ill-tempered, arrogant, and a very sore loser. Obsessed with being better than everyone and dominating her opponent, talking mad (and edgy) shit at anyone she happened to fight. Went all out even in sparrings. Add to that the fact her player is a notorious minmaxer and rules lawyer (in a homebrew system the GM made), and you've got a pretty shitty mix.
Another is a schizophrenic Visionary in AdEva. Displayed actual symptoms about two times, when it was convenient for the player. Spent the rest of the time going "we can't get along because I'm fucked up and miserable" to the other pilots.
As a bonus I can add one I've learned about from my friends, as I didn't play in the campaign myself. The guy took Nero from DMC, added some Vergil (katana included) to him, and made it all several magnitudes edgier. Highlights include attempts at emotionally manipulating another character, and joining the bad guys for 'muh power'.
>>47418892
>The guy took Nero from DMC, added some Vergil (katana included) to him
So, just Nero?
>>47418981
I mean, added some Vergil backstory and personality-wise. That, and Nero only uses the katana in DT. This one used one all the time.
He was also called Nero.
>>47412304
Did you never think to talk to the player about his actions?
>>47412468
>fucking over a player in a passive aggressive attempt to get him to quit.
>for building a character in a way you didn't like
>that you could have vetoed from the beginning
I hope I never get tricked into playing with a fa/tg/uy
>>47413231
That's actually no a bad character concept, but I can definitely see it being played by a euphoric that guy.
>>47416234
I'd Roll20-GM a Fedora: the Tipping campaign just to play something like that.
>>47412113
I made the most nothing personnel kid character of all time as a joke, when we were dicking around in my friends first campaign and I felt like dicking with my uptight smitebot other friend
His name was Lyle De Sade, and he once raped a dragon.
>>47420275
What a hero.
>>47420295
He was a CE Rogue from a noble family of corrupt sociopaths. He was a serial killing, torture-loving rapist who delighted in finding new and exciting ways to draw the hatred of SmiteBot. The Dragon was at the end of the campaign.
We had the majestic creature in its last moments, bleeding and motionless on the ground in front of us.
Lyle rolled to rape. The DM informed me that this breed of dragon in fact had no orifices.
Lyle took out his knife and made his own.
>>47412113
We were playing as a group of freelance prison guards in the not!Alcatraz of the setting. One guy though that raping the to-be-interrogated prisoners was a good way of getting information out of them. His justification? "We are all scums and maggots here and i treat them how i would treat myself".He didn't have a katana, but he did have a whip
>>47412304
He looks like a random tumblr webcomic character.
>>47420330
Psshh.... Nothing personal, kid.
My 6 man group decided that a party of trench coat wearing, dual sniper rifle wielding lone wolf assassins would be fun.it was only fun for me
>>47421580
>it was only fun for me
Tell us a story, anon.
>>47412629
I was thinking the same, anon. There are some real horror stories about bad players, but most of these are cases of "so there's this new player who never roleplayed before, turns out he isn't a good at roleplaying!!!".
>>47421804
I remember one story I read the other day onplebbit, my friend linked me itand that dude might have taken the cake for master edgelord, or that might be shadowrun parties being edgy and cringeworthy as hell as a general rule
>>47412113
I... don't think I have, actually.
Closest would be that time I played a parody version of Solid Snake in BESM, who was basically Snake in every possible way except that he favored a bigass automatic grenade launcher that he swung around one handed. I shot Godzilla in a driveby on a helicopter.
It was not a serious game.
>run Vampire: the Requiem for a goth club while young and stupid
>Captain Autism joins, goes full edgelord and has kinky vampire sex with another PC, trying to kill her with a carving knife immediately after
>he decides the prewritten Daeva isn't edgy enough and wants to turn him into a psychotic ex-surgeon
>the girl survives after convincing him to spare her, he just gets into a creepy controlling relationship with her
>the game dies shortly afterwards because he ruined it
>many years pass, he runs into me at my uni gaming club, the one place in the entire city I can have a decent game with people who know their shit
>I decide on running a Sixth World game (Shadowrun, but with Apocalypse/Dungeon World rules because actual SR rules are shit), this fucker joins as an elf face guy working for Telestrian as a middle-management type
>I dare to think he's changed, he hasn't
>he insists on his character getting a knife and becoming edgier and edgier over time
>flat-out murders a guy in a London bar by lulling him into a false sense of security then driving the blade into his gut over and over, passing him off as a drunk and dumping his corpse into the street
>he follows me into a light-hearted teens and mechs game, I figure a bit of edge works with Shadowrun and that he really has changed
>he develops a rivalry with another PC and his character attempts suicide after losing to him
>he finally fucks off to another city, the entire group breathes a sigh of relief
I am a dumb fuck who gives people far too many chances to redeem themselves
>>47412996
Wow, I have a DM who did the exact same thing. He acted like it was such an accomplishment to TPK us when he literally controls reality.
>>47412361
Not particularly relevant, but psychosis doesn't make you violent, it's just halluciations and/or delusions.
>>47418310
He only played the character for one session, so the only line we got was "huh! Too easy..."
>>47412629
>see stories featuring a wide variety of bad players over the course of 8 years
>omg, u guise are unpleasable
If you read that cap and thought it made sense, I Advise you to get some sleep, take another look with a fresh mind, then, if you still can't spot what's wrong, kill yourself.
Probably my elf necromancer "artist"
He was just really into rot and decay, adventurer because his interests were grotesque so he got run out of town. Thing is, I didn't do overtly dumb shit with him, he gelled well with the party because he was friendly enough, and actually meshed well with the setting.
>>47413489
>I ripped off a players dick
>Ripped off a players dick
>A players dick
> players
By jove
>>47413651
I raffed
>>47420330
>this breed of dragon in fact had no orifices
>>47421528
Exactly.
>>47423916
No cooch, nor bung because the DM wanted no part of this degree of edge. It had a mouth, but Lyle wasn't fucking with that shit.
He just throatfucked it while I played Evanescence on my bluetooth speaker.
SmiteBot actually wound up killing me after, but it was funny so I didn't care. Our poor DM on the other hand, it was his first time running.
>>47425317
Have you ever considered you may be That Guy?
>>47412113
>Whoops, I accidentally prepared Sunlight and no other spells.
>>47412113
I don't actually have any experiences with those type of characters in my games. The closest I can even get to was a character made by a That Guy that was in my party for barely the length of a summer.
Picture this: A quad amputee with magically enchanted golem limbs to replace her missing limbs, and she was covered in scars from battles in her past. She had also killed a guy who was going to rape her apparently, and some more edgy shit like that. The character never made it into any game, since we kicked him out for another character related incidence.
Dm I played under for the first time ever was like this.
He was 20 years older than anyone else and saw games to tell his version of events from books and history. Imagine any series but made dark with undead at every turn and npvs were always mustache twirling evil fucks. This was for dirt farmers to deities.
All of his dmpcs were grizzled war veterans that looked like him from years back and were better than party members at everything. He had elven "emissaries " that were god like veing that would just kill or maim you without ever seeing or interaction with them.
His characters were always played like Nazis, he always wanted to play an assassin or necromancer and would glare at you if he did not get what he considered respect, which was grovling.
Left the group when he tried to have use be in a campaign were he saddled the party with 4 dmpcs, including a genie and a true fey that would argue for ten minutes between one another and ignore us. He role played this out with himself twice and I left.
Years later, he showed up to my house for a game uninvited and a week late.
I made a dual-wielding NE half-Drow ninja who wore acted all mysterious, wearing a mask and cloak all the time on the surface so people wouldn't know he was a Drow.
>>47412304
Wow,you sound like a pissy bitch.
I was doing a game where the villains were an old party (different players) from a Dark Sun game I had ran earlier (they were causing massive droughts by siphoning water to athas).
The PCs (5 level 10's) went after the one party member who wasn't hiding where he was - a level 13 Half-Giant Monk. (Who was RP'd similarly to Legate Lanius).
The party was 'led' by two edgemasters, as I had recently (a month ago) taken over for their DM who had left. They ignored the party's attempts to talk with him and attacked, and the other 3 decided that they might as well attempt to follow through.
The monk (controlled by his old player via messages) started combat by flying high into the air (magic items) and used his items to Enlarge and Haste.
The assassin then complained that he was 'metagaming so that I can't backstab him like the puss he is' and did nothing. The other Edgemaster insisted that the party spread out and wait for the monk to come down, as they pulled out ranged sidearms and wondered why they weren't hitting him with daggers from 100 feet away.
The next round, I described his actions, saying that he swooped down, and was interrupted mid-scentence by the assassin almost shouting that he 'stabs him in the back to kill him'. The monk had went down to beat up the Wizard (with Haste and Knockdown, he got 3 attacks and killed her) and used Spring Attack to go back up.
This continued for 2 more rounds, with the cleric and then assassin getting punched to death 1 at a time, all the while throwing daggers. After that, he lands, and once again challenges the barbarian and paladin to single combat. The barbarian calls him 'a faggot' and charges, proving that he doesn't know how Attacks of Opportunity work when he keeps invoking them by standing up (Knockdown and a 20 foot reach really stings) and dies without getting to attack.
Then, the paladin accept his offer for single combat, and dies.
The monk was laughing through this whole thing (unbeknownst to them)
>>47425959
After the party got wiped, he claimed that it was an impossible fight, claimed that since he 'was a master assassin, he could kill anyone' and that I had cheated/his party was incompetent. They had pointed out that the Wizard's idea was to teleport them away, and he insisted that she cast minor buff spells on him. The whole time the barbarian was insisting that he was 'coming back to life our of sheer rage and killing the monk with one hit'.
Then, fortunately, those 2 players quit, I got 2 who weren't edgelords, and the party is continuing. (They had all been resurrected as they were working for the king).
>>47422539
>made up stories ,created for shit and giggles
>he took them as facts
>>47413299
Breaking these laws that's so corrupt
In the hood don't press your luck
'Cause these motherfuckers will set you up
>>47425762
The disguising the drow part seems fine enough, although as a half drow with dual wield you went full edge, I see how this character could be salvaged though.
>>47425370
Yes and no. It was semi-intentional, but ultimately funny. However it did derail the shittiest module. So it was sort of that guy. Yet, we actually HAD That Guy in the form of SmiteBot, who would regularly do things like kill nonhuman NPCs because Deus Vult.
Only really played one "edgelord" character but I've used him in a few campaigns. His name is donk, a half vampiric flind gnoll in D&D 3.5. First game was a chaos (players) vs law (dm) setup and most of the party was evil. First thing you gotta know about donk is he was dumb. Not simple, not slow, literally retarded. His int was 4 and it never got any higher save for by magic item very late in the campaign. He was a pretty typical murder hobo but thanks to the incubus in the party and my low will save we rarely had trouble with me in town. Except the time the incubus' player missed a week. I always telegraphed my shinanigans, giving the party enough time to head me off and keep things on track/getting out of hand. So after several "donk hungry"s got ignored donk dumped out the caldron he used as a backpack and wandered off into town to find a meal. Now if you've read any of the fluff on gnolls you know they are lazy, glutinous and sadistic. So it should come as no surprise when he went to the well filled the pot with water, made a fire, snagged a peasant girl and plunged her screaming into the pot. About the time she stopped screaming (incidentally donks cooking timer) the town gaurd showed up in force. With a roar of "you know who donk daddy is!" Donk nearly koed the second in command with the steel tube holding his forged "patence of nobility", which stated he was the son of a noble under the effects of a dreadful curse that made him this way. No one read them till after 3/4 of the local soldiers were laying in various states of dismemberment and dessication and the beast lay bleading and being kept down despite fast healing. The papers passed inspection and donk was sent to be jailed until his caretakers (the party) could come get him. I missed the next few weeks so donk stayed in jail for a while, many shinanigans ensued.
I've got a bunch of storys if there's any intrest.
>>47425647
The quad amputee with golem limbs is the best part of that, I think that's actually sick
You could pull that off well and avoid the Edge
>>47427065
>storys if there's any intrest
sure
Human fighter with a Dark Unspoken Past who never once took off his Very Mysterious Full Helmet and was literally described to be sitting in the corner, brooding, every time the party got together and/or visited a tavern. We never learned what was under that helmet because nobody asked.
>>47427673
Well then. How about the edgiest one then?
Second campaign, half vamp but regular gnoll. Had belt that made me large size. Ate a weird mushroom and got ported to not!ravnica. In guild nutral bar lazying about after brutal wererats in the basement quest. Durring the corse of which the 4'4" wild elf rogue got tricked into drinking a love 9 potion. She had the option of who she would fall in love with and it would effect them to. Cant make up her mind so she rolls a d4 and includes the fucking murder dog in her options. All of my what. Rolls, gets dog. Donk spends rest of quest defending her fiercely. Flash forward to later in the bar. Gnoll is well fed and quite drunk so naturally it's time for some snu snu. So the rest of the bar watches in disgust as a 7'6" gnoll proceeds to bend her over a table (willingly) and shove at least 10 inches of dog meat into her virgin muff with not an ounce of gentleness. Dm makes me roll slam damage + str and 1/2 (cause i was "two handing" her dogy style") this happens several times before she passes out about the time she got the knot. She stays stuck there most of the night, turning her tight little elf pussy into a gaping cavern. Passing cleric used restoration in the morning but there was no un-Donking that pussy. Wizard casts suggestion, saying it's round two. Fail save, sounds like a good idea. She pulls a fast one and disguised the clerics jr cleric in training to look like her. Fail every chance I'm given to see through the disguise. Grab him and take him behind bar as yet more fucking zombies kick in the door. Thinks im taking him to safety, lol nope. Shuck his armor like a banana peel and give him the red rocket right in the dirt button. Slam dmg, auto crit, twice. Dead cleric on my dick, not finished. Oh well, still warm. Half fight zombies while still trying to get off, it works. Can only one hand weapon and -2 ac due to cleric cock sock. Still won the fight. Eat cleric. Was a good day.
>>47428246
The weather is nice so i gotta go for a while. If this thread is still here ill post more. Hope you enjoyed.
>>47427756
Nobody asked why he wore the mask?
>>47428246
I have not laughed this hard in a long time, good god give me more! I beg of you.
>>47412113
Some guy who spent half hour on a solo sneaking mission describing in detail how he mutilated a random city guard.
Not all at once. We tried to hustle him on a couple of times by asking him what he information he was trying to get from the peasant, at which point he would ask his question, get an answer, and then immediately leap back into torture descriptions.
>>47422352
keked
>>47429255
Still yard working but it looks like rain. Hang on a while longer anon and I'll deliver. Even if i have to make a new thread. Might be a few hours so don't hold your breath.
>>47428246
Ummm....well then
>>47429421
Sorry anon. To be honest that's the best story I've got.
>>47429394
Eh I can hold out, it's just nice to have some storytime, especially since I don't see it as often anymore.
>tfw stuck as perma dm so I can't make my own stories
>friends are almost always busy so I can never tell theirs since we barely play
>>47412113
Closest I've come is a martial in Pathfinder who usually hired a rickshaw to carry her around towns while everyone else walked, ate her meals alone, and was the only one with her own tent. She also didn't tend to spread the heals from Silver Crane around very much, which made her seem like way more of a dick than was strictly necessary.
Then again it was all to keep her case of inherited "oh fuck my lungs are disintegrating" disease both in check and hidden from the party, so there's that.
>>47412113
We had a someone--a long-term player we still game with, mind you--make a Shadowrun character with the dubious moniker of "Dusk Edge". He never lived that name down. He was recently going to use the name "Vehemence", which got nipped in the bud.
Most other examples veer closer the That Guy stuff than Coldsteel garbo. I guess I should be thankful the worst I've dealt with is dumb names.
The team spoony bard decided to rob a potion store before saving a group of innocents he was hired to protect. He also killed of an entire small town for 500 gold. His alignment was true neutral by the way, party got fed up with his shit and used him as bait for a group of mentally insane peasants. He then rolled up an equally edgy and annoying rogue mage.
>>47418892
>Spent the rest of the time going "we can't get along because I'm fucked up and miserable" to the other pilots.
So they remained faithful to the show?
>>47429558
To be desu, everyone posts "shit that never happened" images whenever story time does occur.
Edgiest character would probably be my last character. I made a ranger with the noble background. I had an image of a guy in a long coat with a bandana raised over his face and it gave me the idea thathe as horribly scarred. Why would a noble have horrible scars and not be in his mansion? Well clearly he was attacked, but again why would he be attacked in his mansion? Cuz his family got nobility by being monster hunters, and one night the monsters attacked back.
That was my thought process. I decided that he died that night, but with his family being rich they brought him back. He was partially eaten and the family thinking was scars build character, so when he was brought back he still had horrible scarring on his back and across his neck. He always wore a scarf and was very self-conscious about being shirtless in front of people. He had horrible ptsd from beig eaten in his own home, so he took a vacation out to the frontier town (our quest hub) to take a break from his screaming nightmares and lend his monster hunting expertise. I also had him be very stoic and stiffly formal since he was a noble, but eventually he eased up and revealed a dry wit. Also that he was a horndog. Flaw: Can't resist carnal pleasures.
So yeah, he was pretty edgy I guess, but I had fun and everyone seemed to like him. The time we fought a gnome vampire was great, because everyone was lamenting how lame it being a gnome was and he was just excited to have killed his first vampire. He got his ear pierced and made its fang into a dangling earring for himself.
>>47429558
Ouch man, that sucks. I wish you much luck in finding some folks to play with and a new dm with some funky fresh stuff for you to enjoy.
Back to the chaos vs law game with donk.
When last we left our.. "hero" he'd been arrested on 16 counts of assault on a gaurd, 12 of wich resulted in fatalitys and one case of boiling a peasant. Since his papers said he was a cursed noble they couldn't really do anything to him officialy, besides detain him.
Being lawful evil they didn't have to make my stay a comfortable one. So they just threw me in a holding cell with some other mooks and let him sleep off the ass whuping it took to subdue him. Woke up at half hp with none of my weapons and a powerful thirst. Grappled down and drained my cellmates dry one by one. Gaurds crossbow me down and drag me to solitary, no food or blood for days. On the fifth day a gaurd got to close to my cell, grabbed him and pulled an arm through the bars. Bit down and started drinking as he and his buddys played tug o war with me. I killed him with con damage and ripped his arm off, thus winning the tug o war. After that they gave me a live chicken a day and painted lines on the floor a foot past my reach, for safety. Time passed and they eventually put me in with the gen pop, muzzled and straight jacketed. Some foolish fool let me out, thinking I'd be grateful. But donk was thirsty and so very hungry. So out in the yard prisoners got to watch the village idiot get drained, ripped apart and devoured by the new guy. I was given a wide burth, without silver/magic weapons only a handfull of inmates could even wound me and out grappling me was not a winning option either. Donk was quickly the #2 on the inside, only cause the top dog was the mastermind sort and won donk over with food, drugs and women. Donk was liking his new life, everyone feared him, he had all the food he could eat and all the blood he could drink. Then donk met the first elf he didn't want to eat. Cont...
>>47431244
donk was out in the yard walking around aimlessly when he saw an elf. now this was no normal elf. he wasnt a drow or a moon elf or a blood elf or some other BS knife eared reskin. no, none of that made him unusual. what did was that he was pumping iron like a car jack, his whole body looking like he was carved from stone. (as in fucking ripped) the guy finished his one gorrilion rep pench press set and tossed the maxxed out bar behind him like it was nothing. the elf looked him up and down. "you donk?" he asked gruffly, stroking his manly and well trimmed beard. "who else donk be?" i answered. he just nodded and asked casually "you wanna bust out?" donk took a look around and shrugged, being somewhat torn. yeah it was boreing here but there was so much food... the elf gave me the fonzy "come on." and that was enough for me. i grabbed the barbell one handed and slidd half the weights off, makeshift warhammer aquired. the elf went to the door and caulled for a gaurd. when the anoyed looking guy came around the corner the elf ki struck the door so hard it blased off its henged and flattened the guy. donk rushed in and painted the floor with his brains before moving on deeper. we encoutered sporatic resistance but the elf seemed to know where he was going and we got out after getting my stuff from impound.
we high tailed it and thanks to my ranger levels we didnt leave a trail to follow. after a few days of laconic coversations consisting mostly of grunts and choice words he told me his name, bashim stonewolf. he lead donk back to the cloak and dagger guild of calamitous intent looking motherfuckers we were working for and they got me back to my group. all and all a pretty bro elf and the first one i never tried to kill. in case it wasnt clear, elves were donks fave enemy and food.
captcha, slect all immages with soup. but, soup is what got me arrested in the first place...
>>47430934
That didn't seem too edgy until the ear thing. Better then the characters I wrote.
Generic Lawful Evil wizard who began his adventuring trying to cure his master of a curse (back then he was lawful neutral) He later learned that his master was manipulating him and the curse was a punishment put on him for extremely heinous deed. He still respected his master though, and tried to cure him, over time he got manipulated both by his master and the ones who promised to cure him. He eventually decided no one within the land had any form of honor, his master was manipulating him, his comrades were manipulating him, so ultimately he left on his own with a world view of "everyone in this world is an asshole and the world would ultimately be better without them. He still tries to remain lawful as he feels he is the last honorable and honest person in the land.
He really isn't that well written, but I wanted an evil pc that wasn't a dick.
>>47431773
back in the ravnica campaign there was trouble brewing. cleric trouble. see, our party didnt have one so a friend from outside the playgroup gave the dm some devious advice. "if no one wants to play a cleric, hate fuck them with clerics." enter the church of Orzov. now you MTG fans out there likely already know the direction this is heading but for those of you who dont know the lore i'll explain. in ravnica there are ten guilds, each with their own color combo and shtick. orzove was black white and dealth with spirirts, necromancy, and most of all, money. they were the LE masters of contracts and easy deals that just entrap you further and further thill they quite litterally own your body and soul. its like the italian mob, the dark ages catholic church and the jewish banking conspiracy all had an orgy and Orzov was the result.
so anywho, these motherfuckers get their hooks into us, i forget how. but we do a few jobs for them that somehow land us deeper in debt. so to pay it all off, whipe the slate clean they ask us to raid the Boros guilds local impound. (cops of ravnica) they were sending us to our deaths but we didnt know that. they gave us a cleric to help and sent us off. after a bit of shopping donk got a week long +8 to his int, finally, positive modifiyers. so now i feel justified in making simple plans and i suggest we wait for the big airship that is currently loading up all there best guys to go on manuvers or somesuch elswhere to actually leave before we try our luck. dm's face falls a bit, realizing what that int buff means. the murder dog isn't just lead around by his cock and stomach anymore. the only leash he had on me is gone. no more carrot, now all he's got is the stick.
so we wait a few hours against the wishes of the pasty pussy cleric they sent with us and the cops clear out. we wait even longer for the airship to be to far away to return in time to help and move in. more in a sec.
>>47432182
so donk and the halfling rogue Bo, whom he called flea due to his habit of climbing up me to get to the cauldron on my back where he snipped from and most importantly stayed out of donks sight. small things had a tendency to get swallowed whole by the large gnoll.
anywho, donk flea and the cleric head in and bo takes point to go do rogue stuff. donk holds the cleric back so he doesnt ruin the supprise. flea sets a few puddles of oil, caltrops and other hazards about before getting spotted. he plays it off like hes a lost recruit and makes the rolls to convince them. so he goes through the conscription wash that takes his gear and gives him the standard issue boros fullplate, longsowrd and heavy steel shield. poor bo can barely move and donk's watching from the shadows trying not to laugh as he struggles to his place in line and stars doing jumping jacks with the rest of them. one hits a caltrop and goes down like peater griffen after hitting his knee. the cleric goes "oh no, he's hurt. i'll be right back." donk goes to stop him and catches the 500,000,000,000,000,000th hold monster of this campaign from the cleric sent supposedly to help us. 9 lvls and 2,500lbs of barbarian lear down at this stupid mook who doesnt seem to recognise death when it's drooling six inches from his face. procedes to despell my int buff, hit me with a ray of enfeeblement then cast animal friendship on me thinking that will fix my bad mood. donk may not remember what the cleric did but he hnew he betrayed me and stole from me. i hummed the jaws theme softly evey time i rolled down the die indicating how much longer i was held cause i wasnt making the will save. about the time the cleric was finished with his bullshit donk broke free with a roar and grappled, pinned and bit his arm. i deliberatly did only one point of con dmg to him every round from blood drain, stopping before i killed him so i could torture him later.
more in a sec
>>47432002
Really? Hunters wear trophies all the time, and thr only real trophy a vampire gives is the fangs so...
There was some pretty funny RP where other players and the gm tried to make fun of me for it, where they asked why my guy had a baby tooth for an earring, but he was proud to have done something that had gotten his family nobility in the first place. He ended up becoming a lycanthrope specialized hunter though, intentionally gaining panther flavored lycanthropy by the end of the game.
>>47432537
Oh I didn't know that was the angle you were going for.could you give me some advice for writing my mage better I really feel like I could do more
>>47412113
My last group.
>playing as a bunch of mercenaries
>get paid to hit some guy's shipping
>contract stated "no witnesses"
>board one ship to loot it since we heard it was a weapons shipment
>after taking out the rest of the crew we start to rummage through crates of blasters, thermal detonators, etc.
>one of the guy finds a kid hiding in on of the boxes
>'so, um...what are we gonna do with him'
>'what'd our orders say'
>'no witnesses'
>'well, there's your answer'
>'nothing personal kid'
>>47432430
but it was not to be as he blead out while i went to go save bo from calisthenics. that fight was boring and we won easily about the time the rest of our party showed up. the dm proceded to describe what they saw on the way in, including the blood drained and broken cleric. to which the wizard simply said, "well, looks like orzove fucked us, or donk just got thirsty again." we met up, moved in and cleaned out the impound lot, inside wich was a pair of boots that emitted an antimagic field. my dibbs went uncontested and we cleared out. back at orzove we walk in and all the loot we gathered just fucking vanishes except one item each we chose OOG, so boots for me. they explained that our debt had been fufilled but due to my killing their cleric we owed them again. donk went balistic. immune to their spells he cut a bloody swath through the church and killed just about everyone inside, guildy or civilian. it didnt matter, he was blind with rage. after much smashing and eating of clerics donk was to worn out to fight anymore and the rest of the party came out of hiding. orzov slapped a one million plat bounty on my head and sent the brothers of the cleric i'd killed at the boros place after me as well. i was soon ravnicals 3ed most wanted and branded public enemy number 1. from then on donk has had anabiding hatred of clerics and litteraly rages uppon seeing the orzov signit. if theres still some intrest i have a much funnier one about the third campaign i played him in where donk found the love of his life, Thuggera, the baby eater.
>>47412304
Honestly you were in the wrong here you stuck up cunt.
>>47412304
>knows someone is a turboautist
>doesn't handhold him through the process of makign a character and learning how to RP
>>47432578
sho.
So your man feels he is the only one with any honor left, and everyone else are sacks of shit. I can this going a couple ways since you want him to descend into LE. Remember, lawful is how he does it, evil is why he does it.
As he believes he is one of the only bastions of honor in this cesspit of a land, clearly it is up to him to drag society out of the muck. The weak need a strong leader to put them on the right path, and anyone who questions this leader must be dealt with harshly. Mercy is not kindness in the end. Your character will show these people how to be proud and honorable, even if he has to destroy them first.
Or.
Society is like any organism, and this society is clearly sick. There is an infection in it, and you are the surgeon who must carefully cut it out and cleanse the system. While you work towards removing the cancerous growths of corrupt politicians you must be ever mindful of the smaller signs of decay as well. True, that cut purse isn't doing much now, but in twenty years he could be a king of organized crime. It is best to stamp him out now.
Either way: as a learned man who can objectively see that the world is not right, and as a man with the power to affect change, it is your duty to fix thr world and the people living in it, no matter what it takes or what they have to say about it.
>>47432640
I think that sounds alright. The line "nothing personal kid" seems quite fitting in that case.
>>47427068
seconded thats a pretty cool idea
>>47432736
Yeah, that's kind of a dick move. Autists can be pretty good once they know what to do.
>>47432774
Thanks anon. This would be good to start with.
>>47432994
No worries. Batman's a pretty good example. If he killed the major players hed be a perfect example, but the way he breaks bones and smashes faces makes him just a good example. As a wizard youd have to do things differently of course. I can see concentration camps with mass mind fuckery, or an authoritarian dictatorship, or just simple Punisher-but-with-magic. Happy villainy, anon.
>>47432663
More please.
>>47433412
wish granted anon.
now this was the third game donk was in and it was congruent with the ravnica game so same donk and his megaloathing of clerics.
after getting plunged into thunderdome court again (will backtrack and tell that one.) and winning the judges opened a portal to another MTG plane, Nya, and pretty much exiled donks ass cause they were sick of him.
so he lands in a lush verdent jungle with big beasts everywhere and no signs of civilization. exersizing the better part of valor (int now 7 so only slightly dumber than the average gnoll) and dont pick a fight with the beastsy and just head on what seems to be a well trodden path. it leads to a small town on the edge of the jungle by a river. theres a tavern, donk has gold, time to drink! he walks in and the smell hits him first, the scent of a female gnoll. tail wagging he looks around and sees a 15'4'' female flind gnoll dressed kinda slutty acting as a bouncer. donk attempts to seduce and does pretty well owing to his 15 cha and 26 str. shes on duty but wants him, though it'll have to wait. donk gets some food and drink, waiting for her shift to end while the idiot bard nearly gets himself killed by a few of the patrons. watch him get kicked around by some full orks untill the town gaurd steps in and ruis the show. time passes and its quitting time for thuggera. i'm expecting a faid to black but the dm says roll initiative. i strap in, knowing this is gonna be a good story later.
i roll like shit so she goes forst. right hook that gets through my DR by shear amount of damage. donk likes this kind of forplay so he goes for a grapple and gets her, tackling her onto the bed and breaking it under nearly three tons of writhing naked gnolls. the grapples go back and forth, no one can get a pin and claim the top for the longest time. other players are rolling with laughter due to alchohol and weed.
cont...
>>47433815
finnally thuggra gets a 20 and slamms donk to the floor, straddling him and pinning him. she took him hard, biting and clawing him as she rode his dick like she was trying to break it off and take it with her. donk's world is rocked to the core, he's never been dominated by a female of any species before and by thunder he loves it. she fucks him raw and even licks him clean when she finished, seeming slightly dissapointed but still glowing from the first decent fuck shes had in ages.
the next night donk finds her waiting in the wreck of a room he's renting. shes nude and has a slender elven man bound and gagged. she greats donk warmly and offers the elf wich donk happily sucks dry and snarffs down. when he finished she glompped him, going for a grapple with those bedroom eyes. after a small back and forth i get two 20's back to back and whind up behind her with her face shoved into the ruined bed. maintain the pin while i plow her like a freighttrain from behind. unbeknownst to us four mages are casting mending and muffle on all the walls as the defening sound of a bitch getting a proper fucking for the first time in likely forever. broke one wall with her face as i pounded her into it over and over, even with the mage trying to fix it. so the whole bar heard her orgasmic screach followed by my yowl and hyena giggles. we went a few more times, riding and grinding cause she wouldnt let the knot go down. so we stayed tied till about an hour after we finally passed out. i slip the dm a note and he starts laughing so hard he can't even explain why for a few minuts.
it simply read; "did i knock up the baby eater?"
i had but that game only ran one more session before the dm went back to collage and it ended.
in a recent return to the ravnica game starter donk aquired a luck blade with a wish from a deck of many things. donk really misses her but he also wants to kill and eat yeenoghu. so im torn as to which gole the wish should be spent on.
>>47413231
It would be funny if she was an conspiracy theorist blame some random group (like elves) for example; religion is a scam made by knife ears to steal out money.
>>47434267
You sound drunk as fuck, but that's how I dm best, so it's supergreen. Wish I had more players like you.
Fuck on, donk!
>>47425762
>>47426649
At least it wasn't CG drow renegade.
tbhfam I think that anon is joking about his attempt at well-playing a drow.
>>47432696
Hi Umbra!
>>47412113
>mfw he was a ninja so he could hide and do vampire shit easier
>mfw he licked the blade soley becuase a man's gotta eat
>mfw
>>47412304
>not trying to help him make a better character
>whining about it on 4chan instead
who's the real autist here?
>>47422218
violence can result from psychosis in some individuals, even if it isn't an inherent aspect
>>47412468
Are all /tg/ GMs so petty and worthless?
>>47437263
>all /tg/ so petty and worthless?
fixed
I once used my Eladrin racial ability to teleport behind the BBEG while he was doing his monologue. I fired my flintlock into the back of his head. The party skipped the first phase of the boss fight entirely.
>>47430547
The problem with that was the game's tone was different than the actual show's, and that kind of attitude was grating there.
>>47437589
>Interrupting monologues meme
I hope the DM does the same shit to you guys.
"How did he attack, it's my turn?!"
"You guys were standing around discussing tactics, he decided to not let you talk."
>>47425647
>A quad amputee with magically enchanted golem limbs to replace her missing limbs
I have seen enough fetish porn and characters with that.
>>47427068
But do you avoid the magical realm?
Nothing too bad. Just had a player who picked a dragonborn fighter and gave him the typical super loner, once was a soldier and lost everything and now he is a harden asshole thing.
The player kept metagaming and kept trying to lead the party despite saying his character wasn't the leadership type.
Played with a guy that the GM somehow let play a Lawful Neutral Paladin. His backstory was he was raised by the Moon Goddess as her personal assassin and was cast down because he killed a demigod who was favored by one of the major deities.
Best friend and I played twin bards who were always chill (maybe high) and were super friendly to everyone. This pissed off the Paladin to no end and he ended up attacking to try and get us to shut up. We just cast Hold Person and Suggestion, respectively, and combat ended before anything could happen. The campaign ended pretty quickly after that.
Paladin guy did apologize later that week for being an edgy prick, so things ended well for once.
>>47427756
>We never learned what was under that helmet because nobody asked.
The ultimate counter to edgelords: attention deprivation
>>47427756
There was a story awhile back about a guy who never took off his helmet. He became best bros with the dwarf over their mutual hatred of orcs. Still never took it off. He would go eat separately and everything. One day he gets knocked off a cliff and his dwarf bro manages to catch his hand, in the process finally seeing the guy's face as his helm had flown off. Half-orc. The dwarf let go.
>>47437589
This is one of the reasons my BBEGs never do that kind of stuff. While I was still new at DMing ofc I did that more than I have any right to, but I caught up to it just in time.
Now if my players want to hear anything from the bosses they have to go out of the way to do so, otherwise they might even get surprise-rounded.
>>4743777
If the GM hasn't got anti monologue interruption countermeasures, he either deserves what he gets or is tacitly letting the players know he doesn't mind them interrupting.
Taking offence to it is simply childish
>>47437827
It's only magical realm if you fulfill a few criteria.
Is it your fetish? If no, it cannot be your magical realm, and it's a normal character concept.
If it is your fetish, it is only magical realm if you actively insert it into the game to such a degree that it creeps out other players and disturbs the game.
Magical realm does happen in practice, yes, but it's infinitely rare. If you play with utter sperg reactors, of course, it becomes more common, but that's why you play with friends and avoid people who send out obvious warning signs.
Just because someone out there has fetishized it doesn't mean that you automatically get that fetish and start smearing it everywhere when you play the character. For something to be magical realm, it doesn't only need to be your fetish, but you must also be autismal about it to the degree that other players are disturbed.
If the other players don't call you out on it (because I know your counter-argument is likely to be "but what if the others don't say that they're creeped"), it's a problem with your group and the other players and not with you. Unless you're a six-foot lump of murder who threatens to rough people up or comes off like you'll rape their entire female acquaintance circle if they piss you off, it's the others' fault if they don't call you out on it.
Once in a while, I wonder if you people screaming about magical realm have actually played a game with real people more than once or twice. It's stupidly fucking rare and usually easily dealt with by telling the player that enough is enough.
Luckily for this thread, the ultimate edgelord has been captured on film.
THE apex edgelord.
Dude on the far left, Ian.
https://youtube.com/watch?v=mVklX6oxQsc
>>47437772
In my defense, the DM commended me for roleplaying the no-nonsense opporuntistic fighter. Though he did make sure not to make the same mistake twice in subsequent playthroughs. It was pretty surprising though, I didn't expect it to work.
>>47438255
Far right, rather****
>>47428246
THE ARISTOCRATS!
>>47438271
I was slightly terrified to know what Moses over there did to out-edge rapebait and killy mcninjastab.
>>47415502
I know the feeling, friendo. 13 year old me in my first dnd session as a half ogre psychic warrior proceeded to use a halfling as a cocksleeve because I thought it'd make everyone laugh, no one laughed and I was so embarrassed I left the session and cried about it. The other players are cool guys though and invited me back and made me feel better about it.
My group fucking rocks.
I don't know man, I kind of like at least one edgy person in a party.
They just have to contribute and not be selfish. Variety is the spice of life and varied personalities tend to make the most interesting scenarios.
Contrary to what people on 4chins would have you think, edgy can be done properly if you know what subtlety is.
>>47422352
>the only line we got was "huh! Too easy...
9/10 one liner
>>47438999
> edgy can be done properly if you know what subtlety is.
Oh yes, I don't think anyone has argued otherwise. Problem is, most people who make edgy characters simple DON'T know what subtlety is. Or at least, not noteworthy or interestijg and therefore wont be told in "That Guy" threads.
>>47439057
No, I figured most people knew.
Just felt like it was worth saying.
I was kind of self conscious for years of dabbling in edge because of the horror stories I'd seen on DeviantArt and shit.
Finally got around to playing a dickhead pirate and had the most fun I've ever had in D&D
>>47439121
>Contrary to what people on 4chins would have you think
>No, I figured most people knew.
Bit of a discrepancy there. But other than that, I agree with everything you're saying. However, I still think that making an edgy character, at odds to the rest of the party, is a symptom of an immature person in the first place; a mature person would generally create a character that fit with the others.
>>47439224
I meant 4chins at large and that generally 'edgy' is seen as a dirty word nowadays. My fault for speaking broadly.
You're right though, edgy characters that actively go against the rest of the party constantly are a bit much because they actively slow progress.
I just like it when one guy decides to be an asshole now and then to spice things up.
>Something really bad happens to one party member. Like an arrow grazing a neck artery or a wolf biting a huge chunk out of their arm
>the angsty character opts to laugh or, god forbid, giggle at their misfortune despite having spent a lot of time fighting beside them in game
Oh fuck off.
>>47437896
>Played with a guy that the GM somehow let play a Lawful Neutral Paladin
Lawful neutral isn't even weird for a paladin. It usually just means that he's a control freak.
>>47439725
My entire group laughed at the warlock who overextended and got destroyed by wolves. When they started to drag his bleeding soon-to+be-corpse off to their den in the middle of the fight we laughed even harder. Moral of the story: don't poorly make a melee warlock in 4e.
>>47427756
>We never learned what was under that helmet because nobody asked.
This is how you do it
>>47413541
I made a characer like that in a superhero game rules. Dude can control his own blood to do a lot of various things. Except he is a perfectly normal thirty-something chemistry teacher and honestly doesn't want to get hurt. When he discovered his power he looked into magics and stuff to try understanding what the fuck was happening, and got spotted by a BPRD-like governement agency. Now he's helping them with chemistry and occult related affairs, and trying to gain a better understanding of his power.
There's this one guy I play with in my usual group who is ALWAYS trying to be the edgiest character he can imagine. His imagination isn't great either, so it never even approaches "so edgy it's entertaining" territory and only ever harms the party.
Like there was one two campaigns ago. He played as a halfling rogue who's family was tortured, raped, and murdered by a goblin witch doctor. She survived and escaped to join some shadowy magic hating organization who worked under the government, sent to investigate and neutralize potential evil magic users. She'd been doing this for years, taking out liches and vampires before she was sent to investigate my character, a goblin cleric.
Pretty sure the guy gave his character a grudge against goblins because he already knew I was playing one, and what better way to create tension in a group than by introducing his character in the campaign by trying to shoot the party healer in the back with a crossbow. The shot missed, and she couldn't hide away when she failed her Hide check.
The party beat the shit out of her. He was pissed because "his character has taken out liches and vampires without a scratch", though she was still level one. He spent the rest of the campaign constantly tossing out racist comments my way or outright attacking me again. Then he'd get pissed when I wouldn't heal him.
I did get back at him by summoning an owl in his room every time he insisted on getting a private room at an Inn so he could booby trap the windows and doors. He could never manage to hit the thing. The party loved it. He didn't.
>>47442844
The campaign we're doing now, he's playing a tiefling warlock who's trying to convince everyone he's just a satyr. Which makes me think that he just heard the phrase "they're descended from demons" and made one without ever finding out what they look like.
Right now our party is tasked with transporting a young prince across a continent to take him someplace safe. The tiefling is constantly trying to seduce the prince to "the dark side" and make him evil. Or he's sacrificing people in their homes after he breaks in at night, kills slaves that we're in the process of freeing, and asks every librarian, blacksmith, or shopkeeper what they can teach him about dark magic.
Once the party finds out about all this shit in-game, I'm expecting that he's going to get bodied and PKed. Which will be extra satisfying because he's constantly talking out of game about how he can easily kill any other party member 1v1 with his amazing level 3 warlock powers.
Nobody told him that roll20 had a whisper option.
>>47444969
I don't understand. It looks like someone replying in chat to a verbal conversation? And this isn't edgy either. This dude is polite and counter edgy. He's... pillowy? The hell is the opposite of edge?
>>47412304
>waaah character is too edgy
>waaah character is too goofy
>btw rocks fall :^))
You are garbage.
>>47427756
once had a /d/m that used a gelatinous cube to suck a player off and dissolve him afterwards. shit was awkward af
>>47446391
>anime avatar
>named Griff
Too many fag flags
>>47448468
His avatar matches the screenshotter's. They remind me of older rpg icons from when characters spoke.
"Griff"? Like red vs blue? I don't get the reference. Smells like a witch hunt to me.
>>47448666
Well his picture has white hair. Isn't there some cocksucker from berserk of that name who has white hair
>>47438624
Im jealous. The only group I can get since I live in the middle of nowhere is made up of.
1. That guy who tries to be cool and fails
2. Another that guy who says he is better then 1. but ultimately is even more edgy and annoying (He claims his evil characters have finesse aka: lets brutally torture before killing)
3. The only decent one who writes interesting characters that I can actually work with and integrate into the world and its characters
4. A newbie who is just happy to be a strong good dwarf who kicks ass and nothing else. He needs more roleplay experiance though.
I would tell of some of their fantastic tales, but its more stupidity than edgyness. There is edge, but its duller then some of these other posts.
I
>>47412113
>Is secretly a werewolf but nobody knows
>has red eyes and white hair
>wields a katana in two hands because "using a sword in two hands is stronger than one" (literal bleach quote from him)
>wears some kind of red and black robe that only covers half his chest
>constantly spouts "grim" and "edgy" lines ALL THE FUCKING TIME
>growls at things he doesn't like/understand
>has a morning ritual where he sets up a japanese tea and incense stand and runs hit katana on a whetstone until "I can slice a sheet of cloth in two just by dropping it on the blade"
>actually took class levels in SwordSage
>actually shouts the name of his abilities/maneuvers each time he uses them, I.E "SETTING SUN STRIKE!!"
>inserts broken japanese gibberish into what his character says.
Nothing anybody says can top this shit.
>>47413074
That sentence makes no sense
>>47450442
If I remember correctly, that mother fucker would be ruining his blade. Unless its been used recently. You gonna lose that weapon son.
>>47450536
Logic has no place in weebland
>tfw like some of the japanese cyber samurai aesthetic that I've seen in cyberpunk threads and in overwatch
>tfw can't enjoy it without feeling like a total fucking weeblord
I just wanna play an honorobru warrior descended from an ancient line of warriors for fuck sake, I don't wanna be lumped in with "katanas should be on 1d12 and have a crit rating of 17-20" crowd.
>>47448720
Both of the pictures are from Fire Emblem. Probably doing a themed game in the setting or something.
>>47450442
>has a morning ritual where he sets up a japanese tea and incense stand and runs hit katana on a whetstone until "I can slice a sheet of cloth in two just by dropping it on the blade"
This physically hurts me.
>>47412113
My story isn't particularly hilarious or outrageous, but my current game has someone playing a barbarian princess type Druid who is CONSTANTLY waving a fucking fire cantrip in everyone's faces as a form of "intimidation." Like no matter how many guards there are, no matter how outnumbered the party is, no matter whether or not the people they're confronting would be perfectly happy to let them go on their way without any physical conflict, there always has to be a dramatic intimidation attempt (also despite not taking Intimidate and having 10 CHA) complete with the goddamn fire in the hand trick. It's like the player thinks that's some kind of magic auto-intimidate button.
The player claims they're just playing their character, and yeah "quick-tempered and liable to get in over her head" is one of their stated character flaws so more power to them if they're actually playing to their character, but from the way the player lowkey sulks and acts slightly passive-aggressive towards all the other players after a failed intimidation attempt I can tell they actually expect their stilted threats to cause everyone to instantly surrender regardless of their numerical advantage.
>>47448666
>They remind me of older rpg icons from when characters spoke
They ARE icons from older rpg.
>>47450442
Using a katana in two hands is pretty normal. You would be wielding that thing two-handed almost all of the time.
However, it isn't for strength, per se. It's much more about precision and being able to strike and recover quickly.
(Though he probably does not know this, and is only using it like that because of the Bleach quote.)
Other than that, though, that character is awful.
>>47450889
But it actually is about strength. Katanas are relatively long and heavy, rather unwieldy for one handed usage
>>47450442
>>47450889
Katana works as a bastard sword, right? Which you can wield two-handed to get extra .5 of your strength bonus to attack. So it IS stronger in ye basic mechanics.
(What makes me laugh is that the guy from bleach the quote is from has an unkempt notched sword.)
>>47450956
>>47450889
>>47450947
Yeah none of that mattered he just wanted to replicate the character from bleach but with the main character from InuYasha mixed in as well. It was a weird hybrid of all the shitty anime you can think of (even though I enjoy bleach for shits and giggles and not serious anime).
All weapons can be wielded in 2 hands in 3.5 for x1.5 strength modifier unless specifically stated otherwise, which is our system as we're all too broke to afford new books and don't wanna pirate shit.
>>47450947
That's what I was saying when I mentioned precision and recovering from strikes.
I had assumed that he was referring to 'strength' as being purely about how much force is behind one's blows.
It requires strength, but he said 'using a sword in two hands is stronger than one'.
(This is typical among weebs whose experience with swords comes from vidya and chinese cartoons.)
Maybe he wasn't referring to that. If so, then I am wrong.
>>47451081
*it requires strength to wield a katana without it being unwieldy,
>>47412304
>Super edgy backstory
>he's playing a fucking Necromancer
Right, he's just le ebin good guy who was gonna go fight the baddies with his conjured up slimer ghost pets, right xD
>>47427756
What if he was a wacky skeleton playing a long con all along?
Once being the DM I gave a player that worshiped "pojo" the god of chickens, a vision of an ethereal chicken walking and pecking at the ground, it drops a silver egg.
The silver egged hatched into a chick that would grow into having supernatural abilities if my ground hadn't lost attention span after the second session :(
>>47451131
>All this bullshit between evul and gud necromancer
>When the obviously best kind of necromancer is the Neutral one
He just does his job. Probably smokes the pipe and enjoys blues music.
>>47412468
>Ghostbusters campaign
>>47450947
>Katanas are relatively long
Katanas are generally shorter than european two handers, and even many one handers. katanas are rather stumpy for a two handed sword
>>47413489
>he rolled a nat20 to bang the town
I am reminded on a daily basis that idiots frequent this board, and it disgusts me.
>>47413541
take this shit back to tumblr
>>47451414
Probably because a katana isn't a two handed sword.
L34Rn you weeaboo fightan magicks boyega.
>>47438624
I hope you guys stay friends after high school. :)
>>47413651
>>47412113
wow.
i had a guy who tried to play naruto in my session. kept trying to slip in references. finally kicked his ass out when he actually used the word "jutsu"
>>47451414
that is why they equate to a bastard sword in D&D 3/3.5, albeit a masterwork style.
>>47450947
Katanas are short.
They're made by short people to ht other short people.
The correct length of a katana is twice the length of your forearm. That's significantly shorter than the average broadsword. The reason they don't work well for one handed use is they're used for slicing, not thrusting or chopping, which means using them one handed loses much of the power that comes from the left hand levering the sword.
>>47451500
:^) that story was from 11 years ago, m80
>>47438255
>"It sort of unhinged my mind"
Edge lord vernacular for "I want jump back and forth between being brooding and a randumb faggot for no reason."
>>47451299
>Bayou necromancer
>Use his magic for healing people against some kind of payment, or for otehr civilian puprose like getting rid of alligators and stuff
>Has a bunch of zombies he rent to people when they need extra help
Nice NPC idea. I like.
>>47451497
>no Daikatana
>>47414685
I know this post is 3 days old, but I'm in a campaign like that. We've only met once due to scheduling issues, but the basic premise is that everyone's characters are based on the embarrassing shit they did in Middle school.
One character is the 14th member of Organization XII from Kingdom Hearts. He's half Human, Half Hollow (from Bleach), and used to be half Heartless (Kingdom Hearts) until he got an automail heart (Fullmetal Alchemist). He's also his own Nobody. (Kingdom Hearts)
Another character is half angel, half demon whose angel mom and demon dad are divorced and hate each other. Her evil, demon dad lives in hell with his husband, and her good, angel mom lives in heaven with her wife. so the character has two evil gay dads and two good lesbian moms. She has one black angel wing and one white demon wing, and I think she fights with a keyblade. (Kingdom Hearts)
One of the players is playing the protagonist from the LOLrandumb, XD RPGmaker game he made when he was 13 and had just discovered /b/. The player has somehow mastered phonetically speaking in the style of a 12 year old /b/tard's typing, and around 10 minutes into the campaign he went on a lengthy, screaming monologue in which he declared that this was HIS story, HE'S the main character, and everyone else was the "the afterbirth left over from the creation of my glorious tale." He also accused the other PCs of being NPCs.
We also have the amalgamation of every 40K Mary Sue, combined with features of several other notable space marine characters from fiction. He wears a jump pack modeled after Sanguinus' wings, he's twice the size of other Space Marines, and when he was a scout he ripped of Abbadon's arms, and they fused to his body, so now he has a giant, demonic arm sticking out of his chest. Using his 3 arms he simultaneously wields that chainsaw gun from Gears of War in one hand, the BFG from Doom in his middle hand, and "the Halo 1 pistol" in the other.
>>47462781
>the Halo 1 pistol
>>47462781
>He also accused the other PCs of being NPCs.
>>47418765
but who was phone?
>>47412304
>being a DM
>ever saying the words "no" to a player ever
You are an insult to D&D, Turbo was just trying to have fun with the game, if you actually think D&D is about getting experience and loot you're horribly mistaken. You probably railroaded your poor friends like a typical fucking faggot newshit DM.
>I was playing DM and instead of me typically railroading my friends through a shitty campaign that I worked soo hard on some autsistic faggot came in and wanted to do his own thing, autistic edgelords amirite? : The Thread
>>47466094
>>47466131
You know, it's easier to convince people when you use different devices with different addresses and make both posts at the same time.
>>47466162
try again sport
>>47466277
Nine whole minutes to edit an image in MSPaint? You're slipping.
>>47466354
iphones don't come with mspaint
>>47422135
read: I can't stand up to anyone
>>47466409
>iphone
Anon, I...
>>47466162
>Two posts have a similar opinion that disagrees with mine!
>T-They must be the same person!
Will this meme ever die?
>>47466650
i-i know...
>>47467048
Squall wasn't even an edgelord. He was just amnesiac and cold.
>>47412688
Wasn't the whole point of FF8 to get Squall to stop being such an edgelord and lighten the fuck up?
I mean, if you look at him in the end credits, he's got a big, happy smile on his face, because he's surrounded by people who love him and he's finally at peace with himself.
>>47467075
It's great that he got over his issues and made friends but he still picked the worst girl when he could have had Quistis.
>>47467108
Well nobody's perfect.
Or perhaps he's just taking the bullet so someone else may enjoy Quistis' loving embrace.
>>47462781
So your campaign is so cancerous it's recurred back to awesome?
>>47466522
Well at least he admits it.
>>47467722
Seems like that to me.
It's basically Deadpool: walking cancer, lolrandumb but still very entertaining.
>>47412113
My first thought to OP's example is to run the vampire ninja as a Jewish grandfather.
>Why are you giving me that face? It's good blood, you want me to waste food?
>>47412113
>Tiefling Rogue
>Hates Clerics for ripping him out of his mothers womb and abusing him for his early life
>Joined the party somehow and didn't explain how he became a rogue
>Always talks as the parties face even though the bard of the party has better social stats
>Tries to engineer himself into woah-totally-cool situations all the time
>Tries to infiltrate enemy lines by being sneaky and says the party should follow - party only has another character with Good Dex, everyone else is big and bulky or has no real dex skills.
>Gets pissy when we don't do what he wants to do.
>"Lol I'm too good at this."
>"Let me do the talking."
Too focused on being edgy rather than having a good back story or acknowledging the rest of the party.
Fucking Disgusting.
>>47462781
>halo 1 pistol
Now you're getting ridiculous
>>47448999
Why don't you just play with 3 & 4 anon? You can scale difficulty, I mean it's not optimal but it's better than nothing at all
>>47469360
I see 1 and 2 on a regular basis, and while they are piss at tabletop, they are my friends in other areas. If I left them out, they would never stop harassing me.
>>47450442
>wields a katana in two hands because "using a sword in two hands is stronger than one" (literal bleach quote from him)
This is how you are supposed to do it. Katakas are usually used in two hands. One-handing a Katana is very clunky and ineffective because of it's balance.
>first time GMing GURPS
>non aztec campaign
>playing with good friends
>one dude comes to us
>lets call him "denis"
>"hey i want to play"
>ask my friends
>Whatcanpossiblygowrong.jpg
>two weeks later
>they give me the character sheets
>all of them are ok
>then the character of denis
>lizzardman
>vampire
>mage
>ninja
>with male pregnancy
>i ask him why
>"thats how his race works dont ask about it!!"
>makes every one uncomfortable
>they go rading tombs
>find a river of lava
>throws one of the guys into it
>the entire board goes apeshit
>"im secretly the reincarnation of the devil"
>and then he runs out of my house
we never saw denis again.
>>47413145
I play an elf and this is true. The only four things that keep the party from kicking out my character are that he gets food for them, is a damn good negotiator, the bard crushes hard for him, and none of them are sure if enough of the party would back them at any given time.If our party were the Avengers we're pretty sure my guy would be Iron Man and the Fighter/leader would be Captain America, it gets pretty bad sometimes.
>>47471986
I was going to ask if the bard was female, and then I remembered, it's not gay if it's an elf.
>>47446481
Go to bed Umbra
>>47472473
Both are shitters in their own way...but being a anime shitposter is even worse
T.totally not umbra
>>47457708
No, just a necromancer that's more like a lawyer that summons ghosts and shit as witnesses. Like actual necromancers.
>>47462781
>One of the players is playing the protagonist from the LOLrandumb, XD RPGmaker game he made when he was 13 and had just discovered /b/. The player has somehow mastered phonetically speaking in the style of a 12 year old /b/tard's typing, and around 10 minutes into the campaign he went on a lengthy, screaming monologue in which he declared that this was HIS story, HE'S the main character, and everyone else was the "the afterbirth left over from the creation of my glorious tale." He also accused the other PCs of being NPCs.
God I love the idea
>>47471855
>"im secretly the reincarnation of the devil"
Wonder if he was talking about his character
>>47471017
One handing a katana is entirely possible though
Mostly doing so is just trading precision for speed though, there's not really that much more power, especially considering how a katana must be swung with a flick in order to avoid breaking the blade
>>47474889
It's possible, just shit.
Then again, even when you use it right, a katana's pretty shit
>>47471017
Miyamoto Musashi would disagree with you
>>47474927
Well yeah
But they are undeniably very pretty swords
>>47412304
Bennigan's sure had great sandwiches. I think they did karaoke.
>>47474889
I ordered one and can't afford the side-arm this check, I wonder if it'll get delivered ever.
>>47413489
>>cut off a player's dick
>player's
Always chip in for pizza, folks.
>>47474889
> One handing a katana is entirely possible though
Yeah, but it is slow and uncomfortable. Due to their balancing and their weight One-handing them just doesn't even feel right.
>>47475013
>I ordered one
Why
>>47428246
>there was no un-Donking that pussy
>>47475091
Maybe it's a WWII collectable
>>47475155
That's not a real katana, that's a shin-gunto. And shin-gunto have shit quality blades compared to real katanas.
So if people are saying that katana blades are shit, think how bad a shin-gunto will be. Especially since it's probably gone 70+ years without proper maintenance.
>>47477686
You kinda just not understanding the meaning of "collectable" or something?
>>47462781
>two gay demon dads and two lesbian angel moms
sounds goddamn amazing
makes me wanna play an maximum overedge campaign too
>>47474343
Man I actually participated in a Disgaea game that had a physical "Main Character" button in it that got passed around a lot.
It got stuck with my prinny character most of the time.
>>47474889
>>47474927
Kendofag here, a katana serves it purpose as a weapon well enough if used right.
That being said, its hard to imagine a katana besting a western style sword-and-board fighter. For heavily armoured fighters the added protection of a shield sounds pretty fucking dope.
