How can I make the perfect wife for my corrupt priest? Do you make spouses for your characters?
>>47305059
Figure out your player's fetishes and directly appeal to them, in as far as they are appropriate and can apply to non-sexual contexts. Things like motherly older women, tomboys, traditional English roses etc. can all apply.
>>47305059
Waifu? Dont got nun for you
She's the perfect woman in almost every respect. Well mannered, beautiful, dignified, charming, talented in everything she does. She's also deeply and irredeemably evil.
>>47305059
If we're talking high fantasy setting, don't settle for anything less than an Angel.
If we're talking something more realistic, you don't stick (it) to the altar boys.
>>47305393
I don't mean literally perfect like Mary Sue-ish. Like she compliments his "demon behind an angel's mask" personality. Also, it's high fantasy.
>>47305348
I was thinking he married the king's cousin's daughter. Give him a bit of connection to royalty.
>>47305059
A corrupt priestess?
>>47305505
Tiefling that got one of those lucky mutations that makes them look more like Aasimar.
>>47305059
A well-mannered, well-liked lady who's deeply selfish, but knows how to keep up apearances.
Maybe the priest and her don't even like eachother that much. They like using eachother's status to get ahead in life though.
>>47305059
I present a few broadly characterized candidates and then flesh them out when someone shows interest in a particular one. I am the waifu broker.
>>47305059
> make the perfect wife
Trained skill (wifecraft)
The last setting I was playing in had marriage as a strictly political institution with personal feelings between the spouses at the very bottom of a long list of reasons to marry someone.
>>47305059
My Waterdeep mountain dwarf paladin investigator is an amalgam of Samuel Vimes and Fred Colon from the Discworld books. He has a wife who comes from an affluent family of gold dwarf merchants who runs a profitable general store and more or less wears the pants in the family. They have six children, four sons and two daughters, and only three of them are currently living at home. Much like Sgt. Colon, Rutherford doesn't see his wife all that often except for when they're between shifts. There they share a brief kiss, chat about their day and go on about their business. This is the success to their marriage: they rarely see each other and don't interact enough to legitimately resent each other, so they're more like roommates that have boned a couple dozen times and had a few kids. Rutherford's wife is perfect in that she's financially independent and completely uninterested in the frivolities of long term relationships, which serves my (mostly) chaste paladin well enough. She's not beautiful, or kind or gracious, she's fair and "good enough", and that's more than what you can ask for these days.
>>47307345
Well if it works, why change it?
>>47305059
>Find a biological super weapon based on human form
>Ensure intelligence and emotional maturity
>Seduce said super weapon
>Wife super weapon
>Convince super weapon to worship the Murdercube
>Complete Guardsman's life dream
>pic related
>>47305530
I don't lenguage english much, but I got pun. Good pun. Back to forest now.
>>47305059
Only good way to do it, is Monstrous Wife.
Don't play something perfect-but-imperfect, that is fucking boring and will make your GM and or party to want to kill it/kidnapp her or worse: disregard her.
Any monstruos wife will ensure utility/laughs for your party,that will develop in a good party assimilation as a minor "N"PC, and actual value for roleplay plots for your GM.
>>47308264
What type of monster?
>>47305320
> Figure out your player's fetishes and directly appeal to them, in as far as they are appropriate and can apply to non-sexual contexts. Things like motherly older women, tomboys, traditional English roses etc. can all apply
How considerate, not drawing your players into your..."magical realm". But rather selecting things from their own magical realms. BUT......how do you LEARN your players fetishes?
>>47308714
>BUT......how do you LEARN your players fetishes?
By the time you're comfortable enough to make custom waifus for your players, you should be acutely aware of at least some of their fetishes through casual conversation.
>>47305059
>Do you make spouses for your characters?
My woodsman is happily married to a wood spirit he met at a young age, his entire reasoning for adventure is to rescue her and rescue the daughter* they had together.
*They would've had more, but the wood wife left shortly after the daughter's birth due to main plot shenanigans, which left my guy in quite the pickle.
>>47305059
>Do you make spouses for your characters?
no, you fucking virgin
You can always do it like Kirei.
>>47308847
Odd point -if your character was married....what does that do story wise? Why become an adventurer and leave your wife and/or kids behind?
Albeit on the flipside, that would give them extra reason to come back home alive.
>>47308957
>what does that do story wise? Why become an adventurer and leave your wife and/or kids behind?
It's not hard to figure out explanations for this;
>Too many mouths to feed, and the plow doesn't provide quite as well as the sword. Husband leaves family for a year to earn money he'll send to his family back home, culminating in either a session where we meet this family or seeing them go from "dinky cottage" to "luxurious manner."
>Husband is an asshole and wants to scratch that itch he had ever since he left the adventuring gig to raise a family, or maybe he just wants to get away from them for a while
>Missing wife/daughter/son, Husband leaves with nearest available murderhobo flock to find them
>>47308957
>>47309056
we clearly go on different adventures. im too busy cleaning orc blood off my weapons to give a fuck about my make believe family.
>>47305059
Bayushi shinobi, obviously.
>>47309132
Fuck that, Shosuro for subtlety.
>>47309132
>>47309183
You know they'd most likely just gut him for being corrupted, right?
I mean, they might do it in secret while also investigating his known associates, but loyalty to clan first, and the clan takes the sanctity and security of Rokugan very seriously.
>>47309220
Unless they can use him, and trust me, they can use him.
>>47307995
>guardsmen
>Big fucking I
Son of a bitch mate.
>>47305059
Why is she being smug?
Is she rubbing it in the narusakufags faces?
>>47309753That and
Didn't you get the memo? She's best girl. How can the others even compete?
>>47309633
It was the closest thing I had, I'm pitifully low on guard images
>>47309633
Inquisitorial goons are a thing.
>>47308620
At least 8 INT, 1 HP, and at least 1 STR below and 1 CHA above you. Nothing else matters.
Real love.
>>47309086
So you just hack n slash. That's rollplaying, not roleplaying. Which is okay, but it's also a sign of a beginning roleplayer. Eventually the people you play with are going to start caring more about story and personality than they will over how many monsters you kill in a session, and you'll either have to learn to adjust your own play style or they won't want to play with you anymore.
Look at it as playing a character in a novel instead of a videogame. A book with no interpersonal relationships or interaction would be incredibly boring.
>>47310593
You can still have lots of hack and slash though.
>>47305059
How corrupt?
>>47307345
So dispassionate and businesslike but loyal and functional even if there's nothing in it anyone would ever consider romantic or even tender?
That's hilariously dwarven.
>"Feelings? The fuck do you mean 'feelings' for my wife? I'm fighting for justice, I don't have time for feelings. Do I look like an elf to you son? Do I look like an elf who can afford to wasted time off his question for justice and good on FEELINGS?!"
>"Bah. 'Feelings'. Kids these days."
>>47311269
You know the usual money in politics, underhand deals, orders assassinations of enemies. The classic stuff.
>>47311340
Okay, so not super duper evil. Just...regular unscrupulous politian in a nasty country evil.
I was gonna suggest this chick but she's WAAAAY far down the rabbit hole to your relatively practical evil.
>>47311408
How is she bad? What's she from?
>>47311751
He's a companion you can get as a Sith Warrior in ToR. Go Dark Side for best results.
It's delicious how depraved she gets.
>>47305059
>wife for my corrupt priest
Tie it into his backstory. He was originally a devout missionary but he fell in love with a heathen woman and strayed from his faith. She convinced him to start worshipping demons or whatever too, and that's how he became corrupted.
If it ever intentionally happens, it's the DM making a spouse for my character. Otherwise normally it's my character and a normally made NPC going after either one another.
Only don't like it when the DM tries to shoehorn in something wacky or fetish-related, like when tricked my character into ending up with his mom.
>>47311839
She's the perfect argument for why even if the Jedi must focus on being single they should NOT focus on celibacy.
She gets the TINEST bit of freedom and turns into a cock-hungry murderslut who fucks random dudes until you basically say "Yo, you mah bitch now" and then she becomes a submissive slut who wants to be fucked hard during sex.
"Romance" ends in her pledging to have as many children as you can fuck into her just so log as you never stop treating her like a cumdumpster meant for breeding your babies.
Christ.
>>47311929
I know! She's second companion in the game.
>>47311751
http://swtor.wikia.com/wiki/Jaesa_Willsaam
>>47312050
>>47312053I like to imagine that after you marry Jaesa you bring Vette into the bedroom and fuck her brains out in front of her, and at first Jaesa resists sharing until you force her into submission and she happily agrees with her Master that you can turn woman you want to turn into your cumdump so long as she gets to join in as wife. Then you rape Vette's brains out together until she has darkside Stolckholm.
>>47311839
>>47311751
https://youtu.be/GoPKpuvB204
>>47312211
>Darkside Stockholm
Whelp, hello new fetish.
>>47305059
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeeee
>>47312292
Welcome to the club.
>>47305059
The last spouse my character had was a possessive, paranoid former assassin who pretended to be the nicest person in the world when it got her what she wanted. She only got killed because she wasn't paranoid enough to kill a dude who need up killing her (and her death caused her husband's by distracting him).
She genuinely did love him, but in a creepy, brain damaged sort of way. Also, she was insanely good in the sack, which is why they got married in the first place.
They'll be back, though.
>>47312520
*ended up
>>47312053
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2p8M775wnxo
>>47312306
/d/ & /tg/
>>47312667
God, most of those lines were just lazy as hell.
>>47305059
You could always take the "She is like his unseen hand" route.
Pic related is a blind traveling bard/performer who is an unsuspecting assassin.
It could work.
>>47312749
Vette is a good girl by contrast, but she seems kinkier than Jaesa
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElyI2Vp9Szs#t=13m20s
>>47312757
I might do that.
>>47312921
Her voice is so cute.
>>47314181
"a few hours" of kinky shock collar sex and the like every day?! I like the contrast of her cuteness.
>>47311153
"See if you can find a boat!"
>>47308714
What are personal preferences?
You don't even need to know them very well to get someone to describe some of it.
>>47308620
A strong one. Makes em harder to kill that way also its fucking hilarious when the BBEG shows up to try something with their family only to have a
>OH SWEET MOTHER OF MERCY WHHYYY moment
Which is especially awesome if the GM plays its straight and the players somehow get there in time.
Had a BBEG die once because of that admittedly it was partly due to the GM forgetting about just how powerful the PC's spouse was but the GM went with it.
There are not enough orks in the galaxy,
we must make a new klan
Deff rolla engaged, roll for Klan or Freeboota (d10)
>>47315686
shit, ignore this
>>47309753
Of Course
>>47317654
Rolled 8 (1d10)
>>47315686
>>47305059
A young noble woman that you forced into marriage after killing everyone in her family except her younger sister.
>>47305059
Often as a player I opt to marry another PC.
If you're talking from a dm standpoint I dunno man maybe an anime
I mean he prob likes anime
>>47305059
Honestly I'm quite fond of the "arranges marriage that both participants dutifully put up with and perhaps even become friendly."
>>47306271
More like
Trained skill (warcraft)
Make her a woman that makes him act like a better person. While he indulges in actions unbecoming for a priest, the thought of his significant other stops him from going to far.
Not only can she tell when he does wrong by the guilt on his face, but thinking about his good wife disapproving of his actions and acts as his moral conscience except when he's drunk.
They might be corrupt, but he still feel guilty for his dirty deeds.
>>47317938
That game was just beautiful.
>>47308847
Rude
>>47308847
not another one
>>47315373
Anon no. They just got off. I still got PTSD
>>47308714
>not knowing your so-called "friends'" sexual proclivities
That's honestly just sad. It's like you've never had a real friend in your life.
>>47317672
Man, they were sure mad.
>>47317654
I don't get it. What's the problem? That the dude banged the blind chick?
>>47325128
Basically, yes. That's all.
These people are just crazy.
>>47325128
She isn't blind, but yes.
an incredibly vocal, incredibly rabid, incredibly cancerous portion of the fanbase REEEEEEEE'd en masse at the ending, because he chose her over THEIR choice(pink hair).Wish I had bookmarked the imgur of all the butthurt. It was glorious.
>>47325824
http://imgur.com/a/XKwJ4#0
>>47325867
Much obliged, anon.
>>47325867
>mfw reading that
>Scarves everywhere for some reason
>>47325924
Apparently in one of the movies, Hinata gave Naruto a scarf or something.
>>47325867
LOL
>>47325952
I want to buy the creator a drink or something. The sheer level of Anal Annihilation he caused is glorious.
>>47326026
>tfw you will never troll anyone as successfully as Kishimoto trolled the shippers
>>47326056
Why live?
And it just doesn't stop. I swear, it seems like I could bag any nautard chick by poking her forehead and then throwing a scarf at her.
Yes, one for each of my characters
>>47305059
Only once, and it was for my healbot character. For laughs, I made her imposing and terrifyingly strong to contrast what a meek weakling her beloved is.
It was amusing when GM wanted to send the party her head as a statement from the BBEG, until he remembered who she was. He ran with it, so what happened instead is that she sent the party the heads of the assassins.
Make sure to min/max her for high-speed low-drag housework.
>>47311893
Underrated post. Is the story behind this as entertaining as it sounds?
>>47325867
But why be so ass-blasted? They're imaginary characters in a book.
>>47327210
Anon, where do you think we are?
>>47326217
Tell me more.
>>47327185
Any chance you have the absurdly fast version of this?
>>47327185
>>47327903
Yes, please!
>>47327210
The assblasting was unreal. The narusaku fan forum most of those images are from went into full hugbox mode. It shut down registration and made all its posts hidden to non-members.
Unfortunately for them, /a/ already had a man on the inside who continued to screencap the anal devastation.
>>47317654
>>47317672
>>47325867
Anybody got the screencap explaining how it was all keikaku by the senior Huyga?
>>47325867
>>47326056
>>47326026
Do you think Bleach ending will cause as much shipper butthurt?
>>47331735
I've been out of the loop for a while, last I read was best girl getting captured by nazi angels
>>47331735
>>47333363
That shit is still going?
>>47331735
>>47333363
>>47333478
What's the status with Bleach anyway? Last I heard of it, some nazi guys is killing everyone or some shit.
>>47305059
My character was too young to have a family of his own at the start of our campaign. No waifus in sight right now.
>>47333486
Orihime actually is being useful against the final boss, running legit defense against him while tag teaming with Ichigo on offense.
That very well may be the peak of her story, considering how telegraphed IchiRuki is at this point, but honestly not jobbing in the next few chapters WOULD be notable at this point.
>>47333529
Give him a crush just in case.
>>47325824
>>47326026
It was amazing. The thing is, Hinata really was the better choice. Why?
Because she wasn't a complete and utter bitch. She was actually a really nice girl. Sakura was shrill, whiny and had a thing for Sasuke, the man who longed to maim her.
Like, we see that after all their kids have grown up and so on? He STILL hasn't come home. He fucked her all of once, then decided to roam the world dressed as Drizzt.
Because he could.
>>47326056
Does it really count as trolling if he already blew their ship up and they were too deluded to accept it?
>>47305059
>God
>Has a Holy Guard etc
>Captain of it has served her for a really long fucking time
>Both slowly developed feelings for each other over that time
>The Guard is too loyal and professional to take the first step
>The God is too sheepish/wanting to avoid trouble to take the first step
>>47305059
I present some likely marriage candidates that might advance the character's interest, of course. Earning a wife is a good basic story steed.
It's also fun to try and get the PCs to fall for characters that DON'T advance their interests, but this generally relies on the suitor's player seeing it coming and going along for it for the sake of a good story. Left to their own devices most players will look at potential matches for their character much more dispassionately than they would if they were in that position themselves. I guess it's like being your own character's dad.
I certainly don't try to find out what sexually excites my players and then pander to that, because I don't care and it would just make the game uncomfortable for everyone.
>>47333363
>a brown tittymonster slut
>best girl
Rukia is perfection incarnate, other girls need not apply
>>47337658
I don't have enough smug reaction images to mock you with
>>47337805
But it's true. Yogurt girls are the best.
>>47337944
>wanting a short, flat girl
Why not just date a 10 year old boy, fampai.
>>47331725
http://imgur.com/a/gc6Cc
>>47337981
because Pederasty is frowned upon in modern society
>>47331735
I hope Ichigo ends up with Tatsuki to cause maximum asspain.And it was my crack ship when I still followed Bleach
>>47337805
Rain down the smug on him for insulting beautiful dark skin and wonderful large breasts
>>47338857
My smug folders are unfortunately lacking.
