So im sitting here in my patrol car, eating my chicken, when a rather odd thought crosses my mind. A comic was posted around some time ago of Imperial Orks with a Warboss Commissar. These Divisions would more than likely have a couple of weirdboyz. If the weirdboyz started sayinf prayers of healing to the Emporer, would the ork physcosis thing start to kick in?
>Loyal Orks cleaning their weapons with spit and squig liquid as per usual
>Shoota asks the Weirdboy how the Emporer is doing
>"Aw he'z Aw-roit, shou' be bak' up inna' no time lad."
>Shoota then tells other ladz that the Weirdboy said the Emporer should be ready to Waugh with them in no time
>More ladz hear and start talking to each other and start all dreaming of fighting beside Da' Bestest Wa'Boss
>Soon whole division is thinking this way
>Back on the Golden Throne, a Custodes sees the Emporer twitch
What then?...
>>47268431
DA EMPRAH PROTEKS, BOYZ!
>>47268468
>Emporer wakes up
>Embarrassed that Orks were his savior
>>47268486
Yeah, but then he'd start thinking about how he could harness all that psychic power...
>>47268523
Could you imagine the awkward meeting with the remaining Primes as the big E coughs awkwardly and says he wants Orks in MkVs
>Tfw you will never be a Commissar with Ork Boyz who constantly fight over who fights beside you
>You will never break up scuffles between Catachans and Orks who got into heated arm wrestling matches
>>47268567
Imagine when the Empreror shows up in the Wapr to challenge the Chaos Gods, and he's flanked by Gork and Mork, acting as his bodyguards.
>>47268431
First and second editions had something like this.
Blood Axes working for the Imperium, wearing aped Imperial uniforms. Hell, Orks had Ogryn units in their codex.
>>47268599
>>47268620
To be fair, an Ogryn is basically an Ork willing to fight for the Emperor and not murder his humies, but pink.
>>47268698
I think orks may be smarter....
>>47268698
>To be fair, an Ogryn is basically an Ork willing to fight for the Emperor and not murder his humies, but pink.
Not even close. Ogryn are abhumans.
Diggaboyz and Digganobs are closer to Orks.
>>47268431
Which comic was this? Source?
>>47268754
>hambushin
I kekked. Unfortunately i never saved it
>>47268431
>>47268754
Maybe pic related?
>>47268730
:P
>>47268733
Dude, you are confusing setting detail for how it looks to an outside observer.
>>47268431
... Honestly, the imagery of the po-po relaxing in the cruiser thinking nerdy thoughts gives me the chuckles.
>>47268431
Post security golf cart please?
>Ork division links up with mechanised regiment
>WAAAGH! begins to envelop the nearby Guard
>Looting of all paint on the planet commences
>Suddenly stealthier super-heavies
>Valkyries with the Dakka of large fighter craft
>Chimeras blazing across the battlefield like rally cars
>Tech Priests scream in binary as da Boyz slap together vehicles and weapons out of scrap
>Weirdboyz summon giant holy fists of the Emperor to crush heretics
>>47268698
Come to think of it, if a group of Orks painted themselves pink, they could probably pass for unusually intelligent Ogryns. Probably have to be Bloodaxes, though, since no other Orks would ever think of being any color but green.
>>47268869
>>47268907
Golf cart indeed. Actually browsing for more skeletons to put together and maybe painting a troop of tau or orks for fun
>>47268797
3 iron sights. what innovation.
>>47268953
>>Chimeras blazing across the battlefield like rally cars
>>Tech Priests scream in binary as da Boyz slap together vehicles and weapons out of scrap
My sides
>NO NO THATS NOT WHAT THE HOLY OILS ARE FOR
>EMPORER NO, YOU CANT FUCKING PUT THE RUSS TURRET ON TUE CHIMERA
>WHY THE MARS DOES THAT SENTINEL HAVE A BLOWER AND FLAME DECALS?!
>>47269008
Ahh, you see, by having 3 sights, you're filtering your eyesight down to a single point, thus making you more accurate.
>>47269008
More sites makes ya see bettah ya git.
>>47268599
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SoNQ8oJ9xaQ
>>47269008
The real innovation is that all three sights are placed in the same line so you can use them all at once. That's advanced technology right there.
Loyalist orks as an idea works far too well.
>>47269515
Ez' gud' idea boss
>>47268599
>Orkz in Astartes power armor
>>47269008
3 iron sights makes you three times more accurate.
>>47269846
>nobz in Mega-armour, but fasta and not electrocuting themselves unnecessarily
>>47268972
Would a bunch of those pink Orks turn into exceptionally Orky humans if other Orks thought they were humans?
Could you imagine how Armageddons or at some other or haters would react to this?
>Imperial Orks marching through a conquered city
>I don't even need a joke
DEFF WOTCH
>Ok commissary can't summarily execut anyone because he keeps missing
>>47269229
I just picture the Emperor kicking in the doors to Khorne's fortress. He's wearing sunglasses and Gork and Mork are carrying boomboxes on their shoulders blasting that song.
>>47271398
>empties his entire magazine trying to shoot a mouthy subordinate
>misses every shot
>reloads
>misses every shot again
>this continues for hours
>enemy army's soldiers watch from their trenches in absolute bafflement
>>47271540
>WHERE DA GROT WHERE DA GROT AT
>EMPRA' THROWEN DOWN FISTS CAUSE HE LIKE DAT
>GORK N MORK GOT 'IS BACK IN DA WARP YEAH
>>47271613
>Orkissar eventually gives up
>Rips him apart with his Power Klaw
"YOU GITZ BETTA FIOGHT BETTA!"
>>47268431
>>47268997
Remember, every day that you chill at your FLGS talking about orks reviving the Emperor of Mankind is a day you increase public opinion about cops and a day you don't contribute to increasing crime rates.
Also, it was always my headcanon that the orks' collective belief that the Emperor was still alive in his golden throne was his real life support, and the psyker munching wasn't actually necessary and possibly detrimental.
>>47271729
thats my headcannon too. maybe if orks took over the galaxy they'l revive him completely!
>>47271642
>by the time this happens their position has been completely encircled by the enemy
>orks only notice when there are already thousands of guns pointed at them
>>47271773
>AYE BOYZ. LOOKZ LOIK WE'Z IN A TA'GET RICH EN-VI-RO-MENTZ!
The enemy suffered 99% casualty rates
>>47271326
I just picture the city in flames, the citizens dead. It was a friendly city. They were supposed to lift a siege. As they march through, they congratulate themselves on how effectively they liberated it.
>>47271909
>The Orks actually worship the Emperor as a third, brutal but not particularly kunnin' god
>Every time they fight the forces of the Imperium, they thank the Emperor for giving them more oomies to kill
>With every battle, the Emperor becomes a little stronger from the Orks' faith in him and his own hatred for them for killing his children
>>47271961
>>47271961
>turns out the city was actually a genestealer cult infested rot
>they get a thank you card from the Inquisition
>Commissa' nails it to their banner alongside other such letters and a drawing of an Ork from an imperial child with "My green heroes" written on it
>during battle alongside PDF forces they were trying to get a cat out of a tree because crying little girls "aint orky"
Just picture Orks in imperial gear beating cultists to death with their rifles while trying to boost a grot into a tree to get a fucking kitten
>>47272031
>grot can't quite reach the cat
>grabs a squig and uses it to grab the cat
>hands the squig down to the waiting child
>the cat's tail is just sticking out from between the squig's teeth
>>47272061
>"OI YAH LUTTLE GIT"
>Sarg'n Orkikus shakes the ever living hell out of the squid
>Barfs a very traumatized cat into the little girls now wet arms
>Kid dont care, has cat
>Ork Resku' 'Skwad stands proudly as orks are ripping off the arms of enemies and tag teaming with the human Imperial Guard
>Orkish hoots as both human and ork savagely beat to death their opponents with fully loaded lazguns (beamie shootas)
>Cuts to a proud looking Commissa' and an Imperial Commissar just staring grimly and drinking from a flask
Literally Deffwotch
>>47272272
Alternatively, the little girl just adopts the squig and forgets about her cat, or possibly labors under the misunderstanding that the cat somehow became the squig.
Also, I sincerely doubt a human could drink Orkish alcohol.
>Orkissar drinks from flask
>wordlessly hands it to Imperial commissar
>like an idiot, he drinks it
>vomits for days
>Orkissar and his boys havin' a gud laff
>>47272294
Oh god, the face on the Ultramarine in the back.
>>47272412
>LoudOrkishGuffawing.gif
>'E tho't 'dat 'wuzz licka'!
>Imperium saves tons of money just by paying Ork Divisions in beer and weaponry
>Problems arise when they give them Tanks and the Admechs become furious when they go to do maintenance and all the tanks are mish mashed with other gear
>Tech Priest angrily opens an engine compartment
>Mekboy got ahold of it
>Its operating at 300% but he cant make heads or servitor of it
>Faint binary screams
>Mekboys face when he pulls a lever an a fucking flame shoots out of the tail pipe for "Close Quarters Defense"
>>47271909
There is a US Marine, Cheery Puller, who was a Sargent during the Korean War. Apparently when the hill he and his Marines were on was surrounded by chinks, he said
"They are in front of us, behind us, and flanking us on both sides. They won't get away this time!"
>>47272636
Chesty Puller, you boot.
>>47272668
Fucking autocorrect fucked up my post >>47272636
>>47273022
>By the Emprah, why?
>>47273052
nee.
>Or do Xenos inquisitor reads report about the imperial aligned Orks
>Says nothing, just reaches under his desk for a bottle
>>47271613
>>47271398
>Ork commissar goes too shoot a git
>Shoots the git next to him
>"Uh, I ment ta do dat"
>>47272294
>>47269846
>"WAAAGGGGHH! DIS 'DING BE KRUMPIN' ME EAR!"
>>47268599
>>47271540
>>47271634
Yes. Yes, I need more of this.
>>47268431
Who let out all the heretics?
No, seriously. Even if the orks believe that there is an emperor, and I seriously doubt there is an ork old enough to have seen him and still be alive to tell other orks about it, or even orks who care about what the 'umies shout as they die to the greentide and start thinking about what a dangerous foe this emprah must be, or even fucking just saw statues, flyers whatever, it's just not in their goddamn nature to think about anything and anyone that they can't immediately see. They don't think, they just do it. Don't have an enemy nearby? March to war in a random direction. A tank clearly is missing its engine and all of its wheels? Drive it anyway.
>>47275201
Found the fun police
>>47275201
Anon, not only are you wrong, but there is fluff that explicitly falls in line with the rest of the thread.
The first gargant was made because some mek boy saw an imperial titan and thought it was the Emperor that all the 'umies would talk about, so he wanted to make his own god.
In another piece of fluff, it's stated that the orks respect the Emperor as the biggest, meanest warboss of all, because no matter how many humans they kill, no matter how many worlds they travel to, and how many scraps they fight and win, the 'umies are always praising this Emperor and keeping everyone in line. They've never met him, but most know of him.
>>47275201
>i hate fun
>>47275201
?
>>47275625
>The first gargant was made because some mek boy saw an imperial titan and thought it was the Emperor that all the 'umies would talk about, so he wanted to make his own god.
>>47268431
>>47268599
Oh, I like where this is going. I like it a lot.
I was actually kicking around an idea for this to myself as a reason to have some boys running with my guard - the stormboyz really like shiny boots and drill, yeah?
So a kroozer? rok? full of blood axes find a wrecked administratum ship, crew gone, but hold full, full of thousands and thousands of pairs of the shiniest boots they ever saw.
Each pair bears a small tag neatly identifying their world of origin and the boyz set off to visit this wonderful place.
They arrive in system, after inevitable misadventures and hi-jinks involving carnifexes, just in time for a chaos armada to be bearing down on da Boot World.
As they've had a few mishaps on the way, the Warboss, Gargsnik Bugeye-Stompa, gets on the vox and asks if this is the place wot makes da shiniest boots.
In the Imperial coms room there is stunned silence, first Chaos, now this?
But then their assigned commissar has an idea, dredging up half-remembered hypno-conditioned lessons in Orkish, he announces that yes, dis is da wurld where der shiniest boots is made.
"But" says he, and here is the idea that will get him made an Imperial Hero 3rd Class, "dose spikey boys wants to krump da Mek dat makes da boots."
Silence from the vox as the processes this idea, then an outraged bellow comes from Gargsnik and the Kroozer immediately heads for the Chaos armada.
Six months later, when an Inquisitorial delegation shows up to investigate, they find an Ork rok happily orbiting an Imperial Fortress world, bellowing Guard drill sergeants instructing Blood Axes on propa boot care and how to march right and gud, and an Imperial Commissar cheerfully organizing his Orkish charges into assaults on Tau space.
Gargsnik, now sporting the sobriquet Stompy-Boota and wearing a decent facsimile of a Guard colonel's uniform, is there to greet them on the landing pad with a terrifyingly sharp salute and a performance from his regimental band and drill teams.
>>47268486
>implying da emperor isn't one of da boys.
>>47272636
>Cheery Puller
I THINK YOU MEAN GODDANN CHESTY PULLER DEVIL DOG, NOW GET YOUR GODDAMN HANDS OUT OF YOUR FUCKING POCKETS YOU GODDAMN SLOVENLY SON OF A BITCH, IT WOULD BEHOOOOVE YOU
>>47272272
Iz beamy an shooty! Dats a good shoota!
>>47269008
... the more I study it, the more that actually makes sense.
If you only had 1, then you could have the target in the center of your cross hairs no matter where the gun was actually pointed.
If you have 2 that are adjusted to the weapon, then when you only see one cross, AND your target is in the center of that cross, your bullet should land nearby (still have to account for wind and drop, and every thing else)
Real life rifle iron sights usually have "2 sights". For peep sights, you have the rear sight aperture (a disk with a peep hole) and a front sight post. To aim, you need to align the weapon and achieve perfect sight picture (with the front sight post's tip at the center of the rear sight aperture).
So, looking at that orks sight. It's not as good a real life peep sight, because the sight itself blocks too much of your view. But as primitive as it is, it probably works.
The one in the way back though? That's for shooting at long range. Bullets drop the further away they travel, so the ladder sight is used to compensate for the drop (if you can judge how far the target is). essentially, the ork is only looking through 1 of the 2 rear sights at a time, and simply ignores the one he's not using.
Many real life machine gudn will have both a peep sight, and a leaf sight. The difference is that real life one's tend to be designed so that one sight can be flipped out of the way while the other is in use.
pic related is one such ladder sight / peep sight combination. (not pictured is the front sight post)
It actually drives me a little crazy when playing Borderlands (any of them), when there's a weapon that ONLY has a front sight post, or it has a front sight post and peep sight, but the two are never aligned! Every thing I know tells me it's wrong... but the rules of the video game are different.
![l_851000045_1[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/ZTTYcRb.jpg "l_851000045_1[1].jpg")
>>47278707
forgot my pic
>>47278336
My orks actually have a (kind of) similar origin to this. They were gang of pirate freebooters that raided a rogue trader vessel. Among the shiny bitz and loot, the Kaptin found an archeotech servitor that the Trader planned to give to his great-grandchildren back home, a servitor designed to tell bedtime stories predating the Age of Strife.
The Kaptin listened, entranced, to the stories of Long John Silver and Blackbeard, but was especially entranced by the legend of Kaptin Hook, who led a legendary band of pirates, secured vast amounts of loot, and, best of all, was locked in endless combat with an eternal foe.
The Kaptin was so inspired that he promptly hacked off his hand to replace it with a brutal hook. He renamed himself, his ship, and even his crew, forcing them to listen to the story until they too were caught up in the glorious idea of an endless life of nothing but battle and piracy. The newly christened Jolly Rojja now plies the depths of space, commanded by the terrible Kaptin Hook in search of the mysterious "Peter Pan" who promises him war unending.
I've already got the crew, which I run as a Warboss and Nobz, and I'm converting a Looted Raider into a Pirate ship.
>>47278707
Things like this make me wish we had a like button.
>>47278336
So this is how it began... not with gunz or with choppaz... but with bootz.
>>47278507
I already told you fags that autocorrect fucked up my post. Calm the fuck down.
>>47268797
>bloodaxes.jpg
>>47279186
I fucking love it
>>47268797
I want this
>the emperor wakes up
>takes one look around him and sighs
>gives a psychic call to Gork and Mork
>"get the mekboys together. It's time to get the Primork project started"
how much does the Imperium know about the Old One Weapon origin of the Orks?
Can orcs be cute?
>>47283990
Female orcs can.
>>47284070
Did you even look at OP's pic?
>>47278336
The thing is, while something like this might be theoretically possible, both Ork and Imperium society have built in mechanisms to squash cooperation. Any system like the one described in this post that was discovered by the Imperium would be branded as heretical and be purged. The Imperium's a deeply xenophobic and reactionary institution, so this would be their reaction regardless of how effective the Ork/human cooperation was. The system might resist, perhaps even successfully for a while, but it would be excommunicated from galactic human society and the cooperation would never spread.
Likewise, Orks seems to have a deep, inbred resistance to anything that's not sufficiently orky, probably an intentional design: you don't want your ultimate genetically engineered killing machine getting swayed to the enemy side. The Blood Axes are considered deeply untrustworthy in orkish society, and are only tolerated because they'll still join in to fight the humies and are good at doing so. Ghazghkull despised seeing Kommandant Klank leading Blood Axes boyz in Imperial formations and tactics, but allowed it because they were effective and were fighting humans. Any ork leader that engaged in a prolonged alliance with humans would be viewed with deep suspicion, and eventually would run up against some powerful warboss who decided they were "muckin' about" or got a vision from Gork and Mork telling them to deal with this un-orky behavior.
All that said... the fact that orks believe (in their own way) what humans say about the Emperor means they are, in some way, contributing to his warp presence. Probably not a ton: they're not regularly worshipping or thinking about him they way Imperial citizens do. But there's a lot of orks. If even a sizable fraction of them are thinking about the Emperor, believing he's the biggest, toughest humie out there... that's not nothing. It could definitely be helping the Emperor grow more powerful in the Warp.
>>47284446
link?
>>47286377
could the Emperor's prodigious size in the past be a retroactive result of the WAAAGGGH!? if the Orks have come to understand the Emperor has been the most powerful human for some time, could their memory that he has been the strongest for millennia result in the orks believing that he has always been that strong and as a result, retroactively made the Big-E.. well big?
>>47288370
That just makes me think that Orks are psychic bane posters
>>47268797
>>47270165
>Da Emprah's Bird makes da armor fasta
>Purdy Seals stop shocks
>>47283411
inb4 Orkus Heresy
>>47290440
Makes me wonder what the ork equivalent to the Primarchs and the Emperor would be.
>train one group of Orks to protect the Emperor
>the meme spreads like a contagion through the Ork species
>all the Orks compete to protect the Emperor better than other Orks
>the galaxy is saved
>>47291032
>All threats eliminated
>Nobody for the orks to protect the Emperor from anymore
>Orks get bored
>Orks start taking turns protecting and defending the Emperor from each other
>Galactic civilization destroyed in the ensuing conflict
>>47291032
>One day, a very big, angry and green Emperor gets off the throne
>"you gitz iz muckin' about"
>>47291032
>>47291277
>>47291351
>>47290507
>It is even rumoured that he is building his own composite super-Ork out of organs and body parts 'donated' by his customers.
So, orks despise humies because they're so weak and soft, only respecting a handful because they've shown their mettle, like Commissar Yarrick. Which means that if humans were to ever cooperate with orks you'd need specialized go-betweens, men who had the temperament and fortitude to earn the respect of the orks and talk to them in a way they understand. Ork whisperers, if you will, the Orcusinterpres. A very dangerous but well paying profession, I'd imagine.
>>47292768
I know just the man
>>47287596
http://elf-lock.tumblr.com/post/118638029496/beach-day-with-you
