You stand accused of heresy!
How do you plead?
>>46972305
i plea bargain to join a penal legion so i may regain the emperors favor
I'll give my life if that's what's asked.
>>46972336
Very well then
I'm just saying I think the Lollards made a lot of good points.
>>46972355
We'll see you at the objective.
>>46972305
It was Jenkins, sir. I just been mindin me own business and keepin me 'ead down, roight sir? I'm still loyal, I swears it sir.
>>46972305
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EHdcKAheUDE
Just replace communist with heretic.
>>46972374
Dis fuckhead
We plead too cute to die!
>>46972305
Sorry what? Couldn't hear you over the squishing sound. Don't look at me like that, the dog was dead before I started.
This time.
Die for the Emperor, or die trying.
Either way, I'll die with my boots on.
>>46973468
>Slip and fall in shower
>Die with no boots
>>46973207
>>46973368
I'm disturbed by the implications.
>>46972305
>ha thats a good one commissar
>>46972305
Honestly?
Guilty.
Please kill me before I become a danger for His Imperium.
>>46973579
>not showering in your boots
>>46972305
I swear the eldar corpse was like that when i got here.
>>46972388
Soon as the fuel arrives.
>>46974045
>>46973368
See? Fill your empire full of skulls and you just breed necrophilia.
It was well worth it, Commissar.
>>46974340
Well I did always want to protect that smile.
The pizza bothers me though. I mean, seriously, if you're going to be posing like that get the bed clean.
>>46972336
>fpbp
The only correct answer.
>>46972305
Bitch ass motherfucker everything that isn't kissing rich ass and worshiping the richest ass of them all on some mythical golden planet that probably doesn't exist is heresy to you fucking crooks fuck you.
>>46972355
>>46972388
>>46974100
4u
>>>/f/3071308
>>46972305
Well I accuse you of heresy, Commissar!
The Tribunal will settle this matter.
>rp thread
>>46973948
I release you from your duty, Guardsman. Rest with the God-Emperor.
>BLAM
>>46976292
That's not how it works you little shit
>>46972305
>>46972371
Was there something like a 40k movie made?
If so so please tell
>>46976370
roleplaying is tg related apparently
>>46976296
>Hurr, you shouldn't roleplay on a board mostly dedicated to roleplaying games and the discussion thereof!
Did someone say RP Thread?
>>46976370
Unfortunately they have yet to make a live action 40k movie. this is Commissar Holt from the 1997 video game Warhammer 40,000: Final Liberation that used live action cutscenes.
For you viewing pleasure.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stZV5SxzLf4
and the scene the picture is from.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LOi3CzZjV0M
>>46976346
I say he's innocent and new charges should be brought up against Commissar Holt.
>>46974340
you've fallen to the temptations of dark gods, what a pity.
>>46976557
The perfect level and symmetry of that ork's face is unnerving me.
>>46972305
Guilty as fuck your honor, that Eldar was tight as shit.
>>46972305
BLEED? NO IM FINE, THANK YOU FOR CHECKING THOUGH, NO INJURIES HERE.
>>46977303
WHAT?
NO I DON'T NEED ANYTHING
>>46972305
Does it really matter how I plead?
>>46977867
NO HE ASKED HOW WE PEED OUT HEAR AREN'T YOU LISTENING, RECRUIT?
FUCKING NEW GUY I SWEAR
>>46977303
>>46977799
>>46977918
Fact : 80% of charges of insubordination in the Imperial Guard are caused by busted eardrums
>>46978059
what's the other 20%?
>>46978171
actual heresy
>>46976275
>INITIATE ATTACK MANEUVER SACROSANCT
I have never heard them say this one before and I play IG religiously in DoW.
>>46978290
>In all my years I have never seen them do that!
I give a half-hearted plea of innocence. If you find me guilty, the execution will be a swift death. If you find me innocent, I will follow orders and hold the line here until the incoming Orks overrun this position and kill me.
Then the promethium tanks the cogboys have rigged will explode, taking out more Orks than we will be able to kill with our lasguns and bayonets.
>>46972305
Uh oh! Did I hear someone say 'heresy'?~
>>46978059
>be me
>join artillery regiment so no frontline action
>thank the Emperor
>EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>mfw
>>46972441
>mindin me own business and keepin me 'ead down
That's heresy.
>>46972305
But-but I did what you told me Commissar. I threw the Vortex Grenade into the Officer's room because he had xeno materials made for deviants.
>>46972305
>"What ye gonna do, shoot me?"
>>46972374
kek
>>46978059
Are lasguns loud enough to cause hearing damage like normal rifles?
>>46980492
No, but the sound of flesh vaporizing might be.
>>46979885
>Quote from man bolted
>>46972305
The commissar would do better if he were not to bother himself with me and go buy a pair of new shining cyber-eyes, because your fleshy ones have run out of warranty and have grown weak, like your flesh in general.Beep-boop
>>46972305SCREEEEEEEEE!
>>46980492
Maybe not, but the grenades, transports, lascannons, air support, close artillery fire, and screaming orks all are.
>>46974372
>sex demon
>known for vile depravity and gluttonous excess
>keeping a tidy living space
>>46972305
I don't know what I did wrong, but save time and execute me now.
>>46972305
HU HA HU
MAN I'M LOYAL
Yeah, sure, whatever, just hurry up and do it already!
This battle's fucked and I saw those Slaanesh worshipers eyeing me!
>>46980651
I wonder how Tyranids taste.
>>46972305
But Commissar, I found the heretical text on you!
>>46982221
Probably pretty bad. They are really bony and their blood is acidic.
Tau are probably really fatty since they have mechs to walk then everywhere, but their diet is likely shit
I have no idea what Eldar eat, but they look pretty lean.
Orks probably taste like a mixture of mushrooms and sweat.
>>46982401
Pity. That would've resolved a lot of logistic problems around food when fighting against Tyranids.
I generally dislike doing things like eating beings that are capable of higher intellectual thoughts, but how you described Orks...would eat.
>>46974340
Lava lamps are a terribly tacky light source.
BLAM
>>46982221
found the Catachan
>>46984915
Implying you wouldn't eat one.
>>46982082
>Sees imperial military momma
> joins imperial military
Such is the life of Johnny
>>46972305
ur a fagit
fagit is herse
kil yrself
>>46985047
And yet, heresy lurks at every turn.
>>46980770
>I don't understand! Those mon'keigh are completely unaffected by our war masks' wails!
>>46978059
>>46980770
>>46987566
Could this be a thing, a fountline guardsman regiment that is made up of deaf people
>>46972374
BLAM
>>46973207
>>46973602
Are those fucking ear piercings on a dog?
>>46982401
>their blood is acidic
So they would go well with a fruity wine.
>>46985942
Johnny Bravo would be a good Rogue Trader.
>>46972305
Uh, I don't think I've been heretical, but, I don't know, if you think so, it's probably best to shoot me just to be safe.
>>46972305
It's too late commissar, I've replaced everyone's uplifting primer with Horus x Emperor fanfiction.
>>46972305
>>46977918
I'M PEEING FINE, COMMISSAR
I COULD USE SOME MORE FIBER IN MY DIET, THOUGH
>>46987685
hell i'd read it
>>46976557
Is that art by Clint Langley?
If so, then >>46976614 has his answer why.
>>46972305
"Hot... dog?"
