You're finally old enough to join a guild and, per the new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov, it's now mandatory to date outside your guild.
What's your plan?
But Teysa Karlov is only that Orshov character. How'd she manage to pass legislation over the other guilds?
Or is /tg/ all Orshov now?
>>46912532
wouldn't that be jace's call. Being the guildpact and all.
but join boros, date Selysnia
>>46912532
Join the Azorius Senate, climb my way through the lawmage ranks and remind Teysa that Orzhov has no business controlling these kinds of regulations.
>>46912532
Join izzet, date Boros.
>>46912532
Join Boros, date Simic, my doctor waifu will just patch me up after i come back from Ops
>>46912532
Join Orzhov, date Boros.
Be like a really spooky mob contact for noble Wojek bf.
>>46912532If I lose my virginity after becoming a wizard, do I lose my powers too?
>>46912732
you actually turn into that cunt's thrall, you become a thrall of the pussy.
>>46912532
Join Izzet, date Simic, experiment together.
Join Simic, date Izzet. Do all kinds of sexy mad science together.
>>46912532
Join Dimir. Since the Dimir do not exist, I am technically guildless and therefore not governed by your stupid rules. Date Dimir.
>>46912754
>>46912775
Now kiss!
>>46912532
Join Simic, date a Tsundere Rakdos girl. She thinks she can bully and embarrass the scrawny nerd, but wait till he's an eight foot tall mutant with more creativity and tentacles than any Rakdos goon.
>Join Dimir
>Pretend to be Orzhov
>Date Azorius to get intel on police operations and stay ahead of the law
>Turns out she's Dimir too and was just pretending to be Azorius
Well. This is awkward.
>>46912819
Yes you do exist, we've known all about you ever since your fat vampire sempai fucked things up.
Now go and make a decent woman out of my golgari sister.
>per the new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov, it's now mandatory to date outside your guild.
>>46912909
>Golgari
>Decent
That's like a chaste Rakdos or a Gruul that bathes. Or, for that matter, a Golgari that bathes.
>>46912909
I can't, your sister was actually Dimir the whole time
>>46912868
>Turns out half of Azorius are just Dimir-members who either went too deep or are trying to infiltrate what they think is another Guild
>>46912973
>tfw Ravnica is Alpha Complex
>tfw Dimir are the Wobblies
>>46912964
So I can date my sister now?
>>46913159
No, you don't actually exist. Your a n illusionary reconnaissance construct with delusions of individuality.
>>46912632
by doing her?
>>46912695
as long as you don't mind being patched up with various crustamphish reptinsect parts
>>46912532
join azorius date selysnia, or the other way around
>>46912532
>new regulations put forward by Teysa Karlov
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend
teysa's got a boyfriend
Join Azorius, date Rakdos.
Our respective guilds are aware, but can't do anything about it.
>>46912532
Gruul wouldn't bow to such a scrawny pawn
GRUUL GETS GRUUL!
>>46913949
>>46914019
You convinced me, I'll date Gruul instead.
>>46912532
>>46912532
Join Orzhov, date Golgari. I consider my personality fairly WBG so why not join the colors? And Selesnya just isn't for me.
Rakdos during the college years, then find a hunky Boros to turn me into a housewife.
I'll be just like Esmeralda
>>46914105
>DUDE THE ENTIRE CHEM LAB LMAO
kek
Izzet, all day, every day (valid only for days we've managed to keep track of)
Join Selesnya, then date primitive Gruul tribals and convert them to the True Green Way. The poor souls, so close, yet so misguided.
>>46914395
The best Disney princess.
![latest[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/jIfvz25.jpg "latest[1].jpg")
>>46914850
>The best Disney princess.
>not qt Kida
>>46914788
whose to say that you aren't the misguided?
in answer to op, id pick being gruul since i pretty much live like one anyways, id probably date an izzet or arozius so she can actually make us some money while i provide what i can from going full on lumberjack/nature man
I think my personality is fairly mono blue. I'm really not Azorius material and I'm definitely not Dimir. I always preferred bio to physics so I guess I'm Simic.
For dating I'd go with Orzhov so my parents will finally stop pestering me about finding a nice Jewish girl to give them grandkids.
Join rakdos, date a gruul qt and turn her into myhedonistic pigslut.
>>46912750
The fuck kind of weak sauce hivedrone are you?
>>46915265
The dream
If I'm feeling reallygrossI'd join Simic and date Golgari.
>>46914710
kek
>>46912532
Golgari for life. Glorious perfection and lots of depraved elf sex.
I'd corrupt a Selesnya brat or go Simic for more glorious evolution.
>>46912532
Orzhov
+sweet health care
+lodes e mone
+can date QT angel girls from boros
-Not actually sweet health care
-probably have to give all of my money up anyways
>>46912532
Joint Izzet, date Izzet
I don't even bend to the law of physics, do you expect me to follow mortal regulations ?
>>46912532
Join Simic, dateGuildless.Technically outside the Guild.
>>46912532
Be a Boros Bladesmith, date cute and crazy Izzet girl.
>>46912819
>Now kiss!
Weird Mutants when?
>>46912532
Go Boros, team up with an Azorius girl, go on grand detective adventures where I play the loose cannon and she's the cop who plays by the books.
>>46912532
I'd be Azorius and date Gruul
>>46912532
Join Simic, date Boros, encourage my sexy soldier bf to let me give him some enhancementsand "enhancements" ;3
Orzhov don't pass regulation and a Karlov wouldn't want to dilute their bloodline.
Anyway. Be Dimir, swear blind I'm Izzet, date Simic. Stuff to talk about, potentially useful mate, no direct betrayal
>>46917608
Your boss would give you shit for it
>>46914788
>tfw
Join Boros, make a difference in the world for goodness and righteousness, while still getting to occasionally knee an evildoer in the balls.
Date either Izzet or Simic, those seem the most likely places to simultaneously get the best parts of a long-term relationship and a new date every so often.
>>46912532
Be seylesnia, date azorius
>>46912532
Would have to be azorius and date a selysnia.
>>46912637
>tfw qt Angel waifu
>tfw SCIENCE
Join Rakdos and die before I can even find anyone.
>>46912532
Join Rakdos, date Orhzov.
I can't be arrested, I'm dating a high powered lawyer. Made of money.
>>46920482
>>46920585
Smooch alert!
>>46922325
Until you start reflecting bad on her and at that point she takes it upon herself to punish you.
i.e. she turns you into a thrull manservant/boytoy
Join orzhov, date selesnya. A lot in common but also a lot of differences.
>>46922523
Like she doesn't join me in the revel as stress relief after a long day in the Advokist's office.Orzhov are the best clubbers
Join Golgari, date Gruul.
>>46914893
DIS NIGGA KNOWS.
I choose best group
>>46914395
>>46922146
Now I want to be a Rakdos Douchebag or die trying
>>46912732
This is a magical setting, you dont need to stay virgin for that and become a wizard much faster dah
Be orzhov for pic related. Date simic or izzet for qt science gf.
>>46923438
>DIS NIGGA KNOWS.
Truly, racially ambiguous precursor peoples with white hair are the best.
>>46924040
Quite literally.
>>46912637
>>46921982
As if an angel would ever even give the time of day to a NERD.
Best you can hope for is one our guildmages.
Dimir, date Rakdos
NEED ME A FREAK LIKE THAT
>>46924005
Why would a rich dude want a nerd chick?
Golgari here, I'd date Azorius because I think their view is interesting, plus she earns a salary while all I do is scavenge zombies to work for me.
>>46925735
Because they can genetically engineer money trees.
Get a nice simple Azorius desk job and date a qt Selesnian.
I think that'd be pretty cush.
>>46912532
Join Izzet, date Rakdos.
... Oh wait, that's my actual dating life.
Join Izzet, date that Simic chick and have high caste, perfect genes children just like my Orzhov dad wanted me to.
And have a Dimir mistress on the side.
>>46912532
Join Izzet
Date Dimir
secure waifu's assistance in academic politics
>>46912580
>>46912614
After the Guildpact fell, but before Jace became the Living Guildpact, there was a non-magical Guildpact that was drafted up by Teysa Karlov.
>>46927243
>Dimir mistress
It's like you want your sextape to be leaked
>>46917653
I approve that line of thought
Tough I'd probably join Simic so I could enhance myself as well, like being able to get rid of my curly hair and invent a long hair that won't be such a hassle to take care of, as for "enhancements", I'd love to fix my poor rates at the breast department
Who would be my date is a tough choice. I like my partners to be kinda intelligent, so let's say a misterious Dimir girl or a crazy fun Izzet guy
Join Gruul, destroy Simic hole-that's-probably-some-sort-of-vagina-I-think.
>>46929363
I think the punchline is supposed to be I won't even know she's Dimir until I'm in trouble.
Or I could do what I do in real life and pop by Shadow Alley every now and then. I know my Passages, and got me Cyclops. I'm all set.
Join Orzhov; date Selsnya.
Assuming that they still only get mild brainwashing, I figure I could substitute Selesnya's blind devotion to the conclave with a blind devotion to me. Selesnya girls seem super naive too.
>>46915046
>since i pretty much live like one anyways
Then how computer
Join Golgari, date Selesnya. We get an interesting contrast of corruption vs. purity, and I get to be an immortal undead girl with a girlfriend who'll love me unconditionally anyway. Which I will return.
I would be part of simic and date a tsundre half-demon rakdos girl.
>>46917653
My first thought is a lot of +1/+1 counters and reach.if you know what i mean
>>46922325
Female lawyers are cunts, less like waifus and more along the lines of this one bitch from Daredevil
Join Rakdos, take heroic amounts of stimulants in order to maintain my focus long enough to fill out the paperwork necessary to date an Azorius girl.
>>46930332
She's actually pretty cool, way above Foggy's league
Join Izzet, date Gruul.Is there any way whatsoever a qt3.14 Gruul badass Giirl would want to date an Izzet nerd if he was at least a bit mad as far as scientists go?
I'd join Azorius andattempt todate Boros, Izzet or Orzhov.
>>46913533
Watch out, if you keep going on about it he could probably beat you upOTP
>>46912532
I'm closest to Izzet and am dating IRL someone who colour identifies as Golgari. Gotta say, pretty great.
>>46922146
>>46922325
These guys get it. Join Rakdos, date Orzhov.
Your waifu can't take all your money if you're a penniless juggalo, and she certainly can't have hired goons break your knees if you replace them with knives.
>>46912532
I'd pick at random, because I know nothing of these symbols except the basic five elements of Magic.
>>46912532
I'd definitely go sonic and date Rakdos.
So once I go too far with my 'enhancements' they'll still be willin to try them out. Plus they might even bring friends and we can have a mad fun splicing party.
Join Gruul, date Boros.
Either I become the noble barbarian who kicks ass at fighting and becomes civilized, OR, she joins me out in the wild and we go and do crazy shit together
>>46930332
Marcy a cute though, give it a season.
>>46932153
I feel like she'll shun you unless you're able to perform your electromancy using some trees and sticks. Good luck on that. On the plus side, I'm sure it's novel research that can be publish in J. Electro. Aeth. Sci. orNature
Be dimir
Date azorious hotty, get mad pussy because I steal all the permits required
>>46933557
>not being your waifus' leg breaker
Seriously, charge her in blowjobs and you're both getting a good deal on it.
>dating a selesnya
but they're so boring and vanilla
>>46912532
>Join Dimir, date a Doppelganger of myself
What now?
>>46912532
Join Golgai, date either Izzet or Gruul.
Join Rakdos, date Azorius.
Be orzhov and marry a qt rakdos, like real jews
>>46912532
Join Azorius, date Boros or vise versa either way it works out.
>>46924248
>he doesn't know about Tanith being tsundere for the cute Izzet CSI
surprised nobody has posted the chart with the anime girls
>>46942198
The what now?
Join Golgari, date Selesnya
>>46942218
This.
>>46943216
Simic is missing a tentacle.
>>46943257
Underrated.
>>46943216
We need a version in western art, in dini style preferably
>>46912532
>What's your plan?
Ignite and planeswalk to a world that isn't run on stupid and waifu bait.
Be Dimir.
Do background checks on everyone and everything.
Date loud and easily excitable Boros chick.Engage in handholding with said loud and easily excitable Boros chick.
>>46944039
>Dini
>posts Bruce Timm
>artist signature is B T
m8...
Dini is the writer, Timm is the artist.
>>46912532
Be Orzhov, work and manipulate my way up the ladder.
Marry Boros for qt that does commando justice strikes on people I don't like. Maybe bond over how cool angels are or something.
>>46930383
>86 hours of combat drug induced mania latter
THATS THE LAST SIGNATURE, YOUR MINE NOW BITCH!
>Keels over and dies from overdose
>>46912580
The same way queen Victoria navigated the world political circuit.
By giving the impression to each Parun that she intends to marry them.
>>46912532
It's very easy, be Rakdos, marry Orzhov. As Rakdos, do whatever the fuck you want funded by waifu's money, whether that's art, music, or blowing holes in people. Do what she needs you to do on the off days and generally be the entertaining thing in her otherwise busy office-lady life.
Oh, and corrupt some angels for her. That's always fun.
I would join Boros. Go undercover and infiltrate Rakdos. Get in a physical relationship with a Rakdos chick, fuck all the damn time cause she's horn and sex is the only thing keeping me sane in this fucked up place. Bring down a raid on the den of depravity, make sure she isnt there when they come so she doesn't get killed or thrown in jail. Take her with me when I leave.
>>46944566
Why date a crazy den of evil rakdos girl?
The guild is basically the entirety of Hollywood in a bottle. Just grab an artist or writer's guild girl. They're probably into fun sex too but aren't into the crazy shit designed to keep Rakdos entertained.
>>46944652
This is a valid point. Perhaps I didnt think this through all that well...izzet, i'll go for izzet. She would be in to experimenting, and she wouldn't try to tentacle everything.
>>46944267
Would you hold her handsecretly, in public?
>>46944652
For the record I was thinking of a plot line to a comic book I liked way back in the day, although now that I think of it that did not end well for the hero. His wife left him to go back to crime. Yeah Rakdos was a bad idea.
>>46944736
Oh interesting. That I did not know.
>>46944696
>Not wanting the ability to sprout tentacles and consentacle dick her mercilessly with them.
Yeah, you're already too vamilla for a Rakdos girl.
>>46912532
Join Izzet, date Simic. This is the only correct answer.
>>46944768
See the only problem I have with the tentacles is im pretty sure that shit wont go away. Rakdos chick would be into bondage, rough sex, and blood play I reckon, and I can get behind that. I would rather not mutate into a tentacle monster. And yeah im fairly vanilla, I joined Boros, thats definitely one of the more tame choices.
>>46914788
W mans burden
>>46944731
I would do it any time I could cast an Instant.
>>46945201
For such a completely nerdy line, that is strangely sweet.
>>46945249
More importantly, this way I don't have to wait to have priority, on my turn, with the stack empty in case someone else goes for her hand first.
But I'm fucked if they handhold with Split Second.
>>46925735
nerds are the best cuddlers.
Honestly what I see happening is Boros Azorious ,Gruul Selesnia, Izzet Simic, Orzov Dimir, Golgari are forever alone or just duck their zombies, and Rakdos is like "date? We dont date we rape and have giant orgies" [spoiler? ] except for the Rakdos Bitches who go for Simic dick, cause they love being violated by half a dozen tentacles and a massive mutant horse cock [/spoiler? ]
>>46945760
Dammit how does spoiler?
>>46945806
Ctrl+s
>>46945503
Boy nerds are, girl nerds are all skin&bones and smell weird on top of that
Join Gruul, hatefuck a Boros
>>46947143
>Join Selesnya, date Izzet dude
>>46947143
>cuddling boys
but that's gay, bro
>>46947750
Not if you visit Simic first!
>>46947236
Ohh yeah?
Then I'll join Boros and tenderly make love to several Gruul
>>46949712
I don't know what you're getting at.
>>46950186
You fell into their trap, cadet
>>46951320
It's only gay if there's two guys cuddling, and Simic can fix that right up!
...You know what? Go on over there, tell them your problem, and hand them some money. Make sure you tell them that Usee Afool - write that down, it's important - sent you.
>>46945760
Izzet Simic is only natural because the nerds tend to date among the nerds. Gruul Selesnia also makes sense because they're all a bunch of hippies of some kind, they probably blaze it together. Boros Azorius totally makes sense in Ravnica, but you know the Azorius is the settler and the Boros is the reacher. Orzhov Dimir seems kind of fanfiction-ey in my opinion.
>>46955042
>settler
>reacher
que? Is this some weird version of pitcher/catcher?
>>46955312
It's like, Azorius is the one that's out of Boros's league, so Azorius is likely settling for less when Azorius clearly can date better people.
Boros on the other hand is dating someone out of their league, and so is the reacher.
join orzhov get the rakdos booty
>>46917653
>>46912695
Ay babe where you at?
>>46955474
So basically McNulty and all those women out of his league that he kept pulling?
>>46912532
Join Golgari, fuck Gruul.
If Gruul people are so primal, I'd assume they'd want to fuck people they see superior, the alpha-male. All I gotta do is shittalk her and turn her dead ex into my zombie, and she'll be drenched.
>>46943216
Dimir should just look like one of the other ones.
>>46955042
I don't know that i'd agree with the idea that an Azorious would be settling if they got with someone from Boros, but yeah the Orzhov Dimir was a bit out there. I just needed to stick them both somewhere once i got done with the more obvious ones. Then i looked at the two left over and decided they just didn't make sense period, so fuck it.
Join Selesnya due to a healthy respect for both White and Green philosophies, date a Azorius girl. All goes well, we balance each other out, and I'm not so thirsty that I'd give up a woman with genuine values. Worst comes to worst, we both see bad things coming and care about each-other enough to keep it platonic.
Both our guilds seem to have the best means to help each other become more ideal (basically Bant), and that's a bonus. White/Blue/Green power.
>>46912532
Join Izzet, date Golgari. You know they're down to do anything, and the long "lived" nature of the Golgari would even out with Izzets propensity to blow itself up.
Join Rakdos, try and be an artist but end up as a decent chef to make ends meet. Date a Golgari necromancer.
We'd give each other space while she encourages bonding and support and I give passion and excitement.
Would join the izzet because expression and intelligence. I would be looking for a cute simic girl or a borosilicate girl (because for some reason I wind up dating all the kinky military girls)
>>46960556
Boros. Fucking phone auto correct, I should have turned this off a while ago
>>46960556
>>46960564
Can't stop the rock.Well glass, but whatever.
>>46960669
Atleast the colors are out of my guild.
choose wisely
>>46963977
Boros. Unquestionably.
Join Izzet, date the hell out of Boros. I'm sure I can whip all kinds of fun things to spice up the relationship, even if they don't always work as planned.
>>46964729
I want Azorius to play with my butt.
>>46923470
This nigga knows what's good
>>46963977
Liz seems like the choice if you think you might find yourself in sudden and pressing need of a cruise missile some day.
>>46964934
Rakdos here
So you're saying date Izzet instead of Boros?
>>46965255
You left out "independent". Get you memes straight and your head out of your ass.
I am a strong independent black mage who don't need no guild.
>>46965283
Hey fuck you buddy.
>>46912532
Join Boros, date Selesnya
I'm a respectful white knight and I'm sorry for my micro misogyny that keeps me from getting accepted by a guild, but I will work on it and always keep lands untapped for you in case you change your mind.
I'm sorry.
>>46965564
>>46963977
What in god's name is that izzet slut wearing?
>>46966075
puzzlecore /fa/shion
>>46912532
Join golgari, date simic. I can bring her parts.
>>46963977
I still pick Azoriuswhile also joining lots of Rakdos orgies as my guild "duties"
