What kind of movies would halflings, orcs, dwarves, wood elves, high elves, and drow make?
>>46709287
The same, but shorter, greener, hairier, dirtier, fancier, and darker
>>46709287
>halflings
The reason why romantic comedies exist
>orcs
Badass action flicks.
>dwarves
Documentaries about how everything in X decade was better and how they had "real men" back then.
>wood elves
Movies are bad for the environment.
>high elves
Shitty avant garde bullshit.
>drow
A whooooole lot of porn.
None because a setting where humans are advanced enough to make movies is a setting where they already got rid of the inferior races.
Going in order
Stoner movies or maybe some sort of cooking shit
Ultra violence
Historical shit
Would wood elves even watch movies?
Independent french bullshit
And just porn
>>46709350
>little humans who figured out smoking weed and not fighting one another
>giant hulking warriors who can fight harder than we ever could
>long-lived cave crazies who figured out how to economics before anyone else
>three varieties of nigh immortal wizards
How are any of these inferior to us?
>>46709287
Well the drow version of the exodus has the great drow culture being attacked by the less advanced elves. Those elves then call on Corellon to smite the advanced elves, which he does because he is a backstabbing douchebag who is sleeping behind lolth's back. Loth bravely stands up to Corellon, and is banished along with her unborn daughter for sticking up for the drow.
Loth saves the wrongly exiled drow down in te depths of the underdark as they plot to take revenge on Corellon the betrayer and all his ilk.
I figure most drow movies would be like that.
>halflings
Adam Sandler movies
>orcs
Michael Bay movies
>dwarves
Duck Dynasty
>wood elves
Documentaries about global warming
>high elves
Pretentious French art films where nothing happens
>drow
Pretentious French art films where nothing happens except a lot of sex
>>46709350
There are still some elves left in Iceland, anon. Sometimes people even get abducted and raped by them.
Plus, I'm pretty sure the Australian aborigine population are literally orcs.
>>46709393
>smoking weed
Pipe weed is tobacco, anon.
>2. Concerning Pipe-weed
>There is another astonishing thing about Hobbits of old that must be mentioned, an astonishing habit: they imbibed or inhaled, through pipes of clay or wood, the smoke of the burning leaves of a herb, which they called pipe-weed or leaf, a variety probably of Nicotiana. A great deal of mystery surrounds the origin of this peculiar custom, or ‘art’ as the Hobbits preferred to call it. All that could be discovered about it in antiquity was put together by Meriadoc Brandybuck (later Master of Buckland), and since he and the tobacco of the Southfarthing play a part in the history that follows, his remarks in the introduction to his Herblore of the Shire may be quoted.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nicotiana
>Nicotiana (/ˌnJkoʊʃiˈeJnə, nJˌkoʊ-, -kɒti-, -ˈɑːnə, -ˈænə/) is a genus of herbaceous plants and shrubs of the family Solanaceae, that is indigenous to the Americas, Australia, south west Africa and the South Pacific. Various Nicotiana species, commonly referred to as tobacco plants, are cultivated as ornamental garden plants. N. tabacum is grown worldwide for production of tobacco leaf for cigarettes and other tobacco products.
>>46709499
Pretty sure that's just normal rape, only more (or at least different) drugs are involved
>>46709325
>Drow
>not doing an infinite number of spiderman reboots
>>46709443
>orcs would be the only decent non-human film makers
>>46709568
I wouldn't call that decent. I'm sure gnomes would be okay if not considerably better than everyone if it's any consolation.
>>46709325
I disagree with drow. They see plenty of stuff close to porn in daily life, they would want something different in movies. I bet it would be a bunch of comedies. Mostly slapstick very similar to The Three Stooges. The women love it because it shows stupid males getting hurt, men like it because it's basically The Three Stooges and everyone loves The Three Stooges.
>>46709695
I can buy a race of immortal wizards, but there's no way a matriarchal society would like the three stooges
>>46709760
Drow women are pretty violent. Gladiatorial games are pretty common, and one of the selling points is that no one really cares that a bunch of males are killing each other.It kind of showcases their lack of worth outside of entertaining the females.
>>46709695
>>46709760
I think I've figured it out. Their most popular genre would be bodyswitching comedies.
>he's a lowly male blademaster
>she's the new matron
>they woke up on Monday in each other's bodies!
>wacky hijinx ensue
>the audience gets increasingly bored of the novelty of role-switching
>the films keep getting more and more absurd
>she's a semi-sentient ooze who collects spellbooks
>he's an illithid crimefighter
A quintessentially drow type movie would be the Audition. Though it would be from the girl's point of view as she entraps the male with romantic ideas, then tortures the SoB to death.
>>46709695
A drow comedy would be where the females in a household all mysteriously falls unconscious, and a hapless male slave has to try and manage everything without arousing suspicion from other houses.
>>46709808
But the point of slapstick comedies is the clown ultimately is a sympathetic figure and causes rucus for everyone else - drow slapstick would center around a lesser matriarch tricking her superiors into killing themselves and becoming the right hand lady to the current head matriarch.
Sort of like Chaplin's The Dictator, but without the criticism of dictatorships and militarism.
>>46709287
>HalflingsShortFilms
>Orcs
Action
>Dwarves
Probably wouldn't make any. Who has time to sit on their ass and watch something that either doesn't concern you, or you could be doing yourself?
>Wood Elves
Obligatory Nature Documentaries/ Rom Coms
>High Elves
"Artful" Avant Garbage. Would not recommend
>Drow
Family friendly comedies, kind of like how we have the Saw movies, or Human Centipede
>>46709287
>halfings
Lighthearted comedies
>orcs
Lowbrow action films and violent detective films with really simple plots.
>dwarves
Dry manufacturing documentary films, like the television How It's Made
>wood elves
All romance films about people leaving the big city to pursue a simple natural life in the forest
>high elves
Period dramas about minute social politics
>drow
Fetish porn films
>>46709840
That would be either the equivalent of a horror movie or a tragedy filled Lifetime drama to drow. Those poor women losing everything they have while a man who is incompetent at best and malicious at worst is given the power to ruin the lives of several powerful matrons.
>>46709951
Something that on the nose wouldn't work, the matriarchs in power would never want to see that. It would be much more fitting to have something that could be interpreted as dumb men doing dumb things by the women with the characters also coming off as sympathetic to the eyes of the lowly working drow.
>>46709951
The female can't be shown in a position of weakness though. Drow culture is pretty big on "The strong rule the weak", so there might be comedy around her, but she needs to be shown as the sly, but underestimated heroine.
A male centered comedy for drow would be much more slapstick, but would end up much like Rosencrantz and guildenstern as their comedy would take place in and around the intrigues of drow life.
>>46710093
Nah, you make a drow film without any intrigue at all. They'll tear their hair out trying to guess the secret plot.
Dwarves would probably like movies like Taken.
>>46709695
>everyone loves The Three Stooges
If you are murican, sure.
>>46710726
Wow, way to be a marxist brah.
>>46710726
DELET THIS
>>46710637
I want to see the dwarven remake of Beerfest.
>Halflings
Cooking shows
>Orcs
Fitness programs
>Dwarves
Diy videos
>Wood Elves
Survival documentaries
>High Elves
Educational videos
>Drow
"Educational" videos
>>46709607
Gnomes are Youtube prank chanels
GNOMISH PRANKS IN THE PROMAJ (GONE VIOLENT) (GONE SEXUAL?!?!)
I imagine gnomes would be more DIY stuff
and dwarves would make war films
>>46709898
Two males. We Weekend at Berniliel's
>>46710726
More of a Laurel and Hardy guy?
Abbott and Costello?
Marx Brothers?
>>46711687
I'm not a murican, so no.
>>46711824
Then get the fuck out of here.
That'd be like asking what kind of film humans make, really. Chances are, elves and dwarves would have as much variation in their films/genres of film as we do. But if I'm not being a shitter...
Halflings, I could see enjoying dramady, or romantic comedies. Just something about people living life, the tense moments and the plain ones both. Something for the family would probably be a big plus for them, as I could see them bringing their children and grandparents along with them most places. Could see them liking movies with a specific moral, appealing to them as well. If they went to see an action film, or anything particularly violent, I think they'd like something like Seven Samurai, or anything where a community as a whole is fighting together against an external threat. Horror films about isolation, or any social/familial tie being antagonistic/harmful would impact them more than a human. Watching 'The Thing' would probably send a halfling into fits.
This is actually kind of interesting, should I continue?
>>46711888
Yes
>>46711888
Yes Anon. Continue!
>>46709287
Dwarves usually focus on historical stuff, either reenactments or historical fiction that "fills in the gaps" of their archives. Full on fiction does exist and it tends to be Jack London type shit. They're sticklers on accuracy and tight plotting, they might dislike elves, drow, orcs, and goblins, but you can bet your ass they WILL consult the experts heavily and use actors of the actual race instead of polymorphed actors. Also they're very big on practical effects over magical illusions and CGI.
For this reason, dwarven movies are considered long and a bit boring but are well received for their research and well founded plots.
On a related note, pigeonholing is usually considered a good thing among dwarven actors and when they find what they're good at, they will stick to it and perfect it.
>>46711888
>That'd be like asking what kind of film humans make, really.
>implying humans can into making films
Dude, wood elves are the only race truly able to make films, i mean think about, there's a reason why all the various racial "film industries" are given nicknames ending in"-wood"?
Weollywood is a planewide phenomenon that only a wood elf majority industry could have produced, and none of your two-bit upstart "drollywood", "Hollywood" "Orlywood" or "halfywood" wannabes will ever be able to match the excellence and quality of Weollywood.
>>46711886
Triggered?
Drow movies tend to not be well received outside of underdark scholars and other drow, the order of the day is usually heavily rife with political commentary, satire, allusions and metaphor. This also tends to mean Drow movies are somewhat low and rushed in production because they age poorly within drow society (being the only elves with an average life expectancy shorter than a human due to chronic knife in back disease does that) and what's clever today is can become old news before a film even finishes its run in theatres.
When Drow do go big budget, they tend to love spy-thrillers, detective movies, and other films steeped in the noir and intrigue genres with plenty of sexual innuendos and subtexts between 90% of the characters (and often the cast). These ARE the films that will likely get exported, but even they often will make at least historical political references ranging from overt (in the drow version of James Bond films, one of the badguys was a remenant of a house that had been 'dead and defunct' for centuries) to subtle (in another such film, the villainous was an allegory to an upstart queen who considered herself 'a dragoness amongst sheep' and the film's villain was a kobold).
>>46711914
>>46711954
Ah, okay.
Orcs, Favorites of mine, straight to the point and brutal. That's inevitably going to effect their taste in films. Action movies are going to be a reliable seller for them, naturally, but I could see them enjoying something more up close and visceral than your regular shooter up. They'd want to see their heroes knock their enemies around with their bare hands, or with a signature instrument, or with anything they could rip of the walls.They'd want to see their heroes get beat to a pulp and fight anyway. Films with a team (or a small army) of rowdy, testosterone, filled asskickers would be the best, appealing to their nature (or history) as raiders. Their taste in comedy might be similarly physical, with orcs enjoying the old school slapstick more than the usual modern audidence. Think Marx brothers, Laurel and Hardy, etc. I remember a pretty trippy instructional video for fork lifts where several unwitting warehousemen get gored in hilarious ways; that would be a modern example of what orcs might like. Sex appeal as a whole (get it?) would be almost universally uncontested, but the eye candy in these movies would still have to be on the more aggressive/active side of things. Suckerpunch would be an all time top seller.
Horror? I could see orcs enjoying the Predator series, or anything where the protagonists give (almost) as well as they take. I see them being more frightened by films where Orwellian societies stifles the base instinct of men (and women) under the threat of entirely overwhelming violence, or psychologically tortuous imprisonment. Equalibrium, 1984, A clockwork Orange, you get what I'm saying. The complete works of Franz Kafka would probably kill and Orc.
>>46711577
"Hey, I need you to give me a blowjob for this spell."
"PRANKED! I didn't need a blowjob for this spell at all!"
Short films, gore heavy films, tech noir, nature documentaries, epics (in terms of hourage), and porn.
