How much 20- proof beer would it take to get a Colossal size dragon hammered?
Dragons are reptilian essentially. Reptiles can't process alcohol or grains like mammals do. It would get extremely ill drinking any large amount of beer.
All of it.
>>46419536
More than you'd hope, but less than you'd think
>>46419560
But then, reptiles as we know them also don't fly or breath fire or live hundreds if not thousands of years.
>>46419603
Well, come can fly, and some can live to be hundreds of years old. 2/3 ain't bad.
>>46419603
>breathing fire
If dragons are reptiles, and thus cold-blooded, wouldn't it be a pretty large waste of body heat to spend on making fire?
>>46419603
We can look at dragon anatomy from 3.5. I have the draconomicon right here, give me a minute and I'll post what I find out.
>>46419560
>Dragons are reptilian essentially.
They're reptile-like in appearance, but I seriously doubt they fit into any taxonomic bracket found on Earth.
>>46419536
Just one, as long as it's natural.
>>46420767
One beer?
But how big is the glass?
>>46419536
It's not beer at that point kiddo
>>46420938
It doesn't matter.
Natural 20s can do anything.
>>46420767
>natural 20 proof beer
Oh you.
>>46419640
Name a flying reptile.
>>46421294
Bob?
>>46421294
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pterosaur
What do you need a drunken dragon for? Your twisted magic experiments? Fucking wizards, man.
>>46421442
The way I know OP, he's probably planning date rape.
>>46421485
Only if it's a male dragon.
>>46421374
But that very article says they were warm blooded. And have hair.
Ultimately, it's a bit like >>46420388 said.
>>46421294
Gliding Lizards and Snakes
>>46422218
Gliding=/=flying
>>46421808
I'm not scientist but last I checked we had no way to check and less reason to think either of those things.
Please don't tell me the Theory based on Theory based on Theory based on Theory based one Theory thing is creeping into dinosaurs where, however educated, guesses are being assumed fact.
step 1: create endless beer of consistent quality, cast an enchantment that keeps track of volume
step 2: ask a dragon to taste it
step 3: keep insisting it to chug, observe until you see the point where dragon gets tipsy
>>46419688
>>46420388
At the very least, dragons are endothermic. I don't know whether this has any bearing on whether or not dragons can or cannot process alcohol though. They're omnivorous though, so I would assume they could break down grains. Hell, some even eat inorganic stuff instead.
Anyways, I think the rules for drinking in DnD (as I remember, there's no real distinction between different types of alcohol, that would make everything even more unnecessarily complicated) are that you can have up to half your CON score in drinks per hour before you have to start making CON checks to avoid drunkenness. Depending on what you consider hammered, it could take multiple failed checks. Each failed check only does 1 point of WIS/DEX damage and imposes and -1 penalty on further checks. I'm pretty sure these are cumulative.
Now a Colossal Red Dragon I think has a CON score of 31.
So we have a base 15 (rounding down for convenience) drinks in an hour and then it has a 20% chance to fail the initial save to avoid inebriation at 16 drinks. Every drink after that has a 5% increased chance of inebriation.
25% to fail at 17
30% to fail at 18
35% to fail at 19
...
50% to fail at 22
...
95% to fail at 32
You'll never get 100% chance because a nat 20 will always pass.
Keep in mind these numbers don't account for previous failed checks as there is a cumulative -1 to saves for every failed check, so just drop the % by 5% every time the dragon becomes a bit inebriated.
As for what hammered means for a dragon? That's up to you I guess. Keep in mind that even a dragon with a -10 penalty to its Wisdom is still going to be ridiculously wise compared to humans, though it'll be inert from Dex damage so there's that I guess.
>>46419536
I'm not sure a dragon can drink enough beer to get it drunk. It might metabolize the alcohol too fast for this to work.
Or if you somehow manage to force beer down its throat, the dragon might die of a ruptured stomach or other complications from forcing something to drink that much beer.
>>46422360
You should probably actually read shit instead of assuming scientists have their heads up their asses.
Pterosaurs had something like hair in roughly the places bats have hair. Pic related is a species nicknamed "fluffy devil" because of how much hair they find in their fossils.
Thinking they're warm-blooded is more circumstantial, but comes from solid principles like:
- Hair is a thing that only warm-blooded animals need.
- Flying takes a crazy fast metabolism.
>>46422576
Measuring in generic drinks is a fine rule of thumb that any college party-goer knows. Beer and vodka have the same amount of alcohol per drink because one comes in a 10oz beer glass and the other comes in a 1oz shot glass.
The 20-proof beer the dragon is drinking is twice as strong as average beer, so about 5oz to a drink.
I would count being paralyzed from dex damage as hammered, yes. Personally, when I drink, I too tend to stop being mobile before I start being an idiot.
Half your con score in drinks per hour is 5 for an average human. That's really quite high. One an hour is more doable, but even that will eventually catch up to you if you sustain it.
>>46419536
Better question.
Would 500lbs of psychotropic mushrooms be enough to get a Colossal Black Dragon "fucking lit"?
This is kinda something I need answered.
>>46421294
This is a dinosaur.
>>46420962
Have you never had fortified or strong beer?
Now I'm imagining a really depressing adventure where the party has to buy and transport mountains of booze for an alcoholic dragon, only so it can escape the pain for another few days.
A human contains about 5L of blood.
How much blood do you say your dragon have? We can extrapolate this.
>>46425596
Imagine an ancient dragon reduced to a quivering, babbling mess from delirium tremens. Now THAT is depressing.
>>46425627
I looked up some things for this, it seems that most creatures have something around or just above 10% of their body weight in blood, and blood weighs something around 1.06 kg per liter. Colossal size is above 125 tons, but at 125 tons a dragon should have something around 10697 liters of blood, I think, my math could be way off. So that would take a lot of damned beer.
>>46426231
0.10-0.125 BAC: Significant impairment of motor coordination and loss of good judgment. Speech may be slurred; balance, vision, reaction time and hearing will be impaired. Euphoria.
0.13-0.15 BAC: Gross motor impairment and lack of physical control. Blurred vision and major loss of balance. Euphoria is reduced and dysphoria (anxiety, restlessness) is beginning to appear. Judgment and perception are severely impaired.
0.16-0.19 BAC: Dysphoria predominates, nausea may appear. The drinker has the appearance of a "sloppy drunk."
0.20 BAC: Felling dazed, confused or otherwise disoriented. May need help to stand or walk. If you injure yourself you may not feel the pain. Some people experience nausea and vomiting at this level. The gag reflex is impaired and you can choke if you do vomit. Blackouts are likely at this level so you may not remember what has happened.
So we need to aim for something in that range. Assuming we aim for 0.20 BAC, it's showing on BAC calculators a 75kg human will reach this level if they have four beers with in an hour.
So scale this up by a factor of 1667 and assuming a standard drink of beer is 268mL for full strength beer, that gives you 446.756L of beer you need to feed your dragon to get it really drunk, assuming it absorbs alcohol like a human.
That's actually not that much, that's a little bit less than two oil drums of beer.
>>46426392
Sorry, forgot to time that by four since you need 4 standard drinks of beer for a human to reach 0.20 BAC.
That gives the result of 1786.67L of beer in the first hour, or 8.59 oil drums of beer.
>>46422626
What if we build a golem with a giant syringe for an arm and use it to inject pure ethanol directly into the dragon's bloodstream
>>46424433 Not a reptial though
>>46426491
And now I am just imagining dragons pounding down drums of beer and crushing them on their heads at a party.
>>46427219
I was going to say that's pretty fucking stupid, but considering Dragons can be OLD as FUCK, then having Golem nurses to actually inject their healing potions would make some sense.
Alright fuckers,
Estimatinge 20000lbs, 1 hour of drinking, and 300 shots (450 fl oz) gives them a blood alcohol of .044,"possibly impaired", at 500 shots (750 fl oz) they will be at .085 bac, and unsafe to drive. So, between 300 and 500 shots.
>>46425713
Shit, I really want my party to do this now. They're already sort of working for the grand wizard Linus Torvalds (long story), and he's trying to gather information. Maybe the dragon has a book Linus wants, but he's only willing to give it up for enough booze to make him forget everything again.
>>46419536
Well wait for it to run out of restorations first, I think it is trying to bankrupt you.
