what would happen if a naughty kid called a space marine a cunt?
>>46317165
She would be right.
>>46317165
>Dark Angels
Pretty sure that qualifies as child abuse.
Probably get beaten to death by the parents.
>>46317165
would be placed in a commissar training program its takes balls to say that and a lot of luck to survive commissars need both
>>46317165
Space Marine!
>>46317165
Nothing. Kid would be probably told off by his/her parents though.
>>46317165
The Space Marine picks out the child's voice from the thousands of people at the parade and turns his head to glare right into the kid's eyes for exactly 7.8 seconds. No one actually heard it except the kid and the Marine. In that moment, the kid realized the Marine gave serious consideration to killing him right there and then, in front of an entire city of witnesses. And that the Marine decided not to solely because it would be too much effort to draw his bolter and fire. The kid learns that no crime is beneath the notice of the Emperor's loyal agents, becomes a loyal servant of the Imperium, and eventually rises to the position of Lord Inquisitor.
>>46317186
Is that you on the right? Is that why you turned out the way you did?
Depends on how cunty the space marine was being. I mean the kid could be in the wrong or deeply in the right.
>>46317542
The Space Marine picks out the child's voice from the thousands of people at the parade and turns his head to glare right into the kid's eyes for exactly 7.8 seconds. No one actually heard it except the kid and the Marine. In that moment, the kid realized the Marine gave serious consideration to killing him right there and then, in front of an entire city of witnesses. And that the Marine decided not to solely because it would be too much effort to draw his bolter and fire. The kid learns that the servants of the Emperor are weak and complacent, falls into heretical ways, and eventually becomes a daemonhost for a Slaaneshi dickhydra.
>>46317599
Obviously not
>>46317542
>>46317665
could go either way now onto more pressing matters which one of the guys in this picture is alpharius?
>>46318002
Both
>>46317290
This is a surprisingly good answer.
>>46318002
>which one
>implying
I don't think you don't know where I'm not going with this.
Depends on the chapter.
>Ultramarines would probably ignore the kid
>Salamanders would sit the child down and give him a stern talking to about authority and respect for others
>Marines Malevolent would kidnap the fucker and use him for artillery target practice
>Dark Angels would deny everything. His parents are lying. There is no child. He was not abducted and tortured for his secrets.
>>46317165
Depends on the sett....Oops.
Depends on the chapter.
>>46318064
>it becomes tradition for a Commissar to call an Astartes a cunt upon their first meeting
>not doing so is a considerable breach of manners and has caused Marine Chapters to abandon Crusades or go into isolation out of pique
>>46317665
>daemonhost for a Slaaneshi dickhydra.
HOW TERRIBLE!!!
>>46318102
>Blood Angels would eat the kid.
>Raven Guard would disappear into the shadows with the kid. He'd never be seen again.
>Imperial Fists would agree.
>>46317165
Dude totally blew it. Should have made the kid a watcher in the dark.
>>46318158
>Blood Ravens would steal the kid and claim he was a gift
>Angry Marines find a new recruit.
>>46318102
>blood Ravens steal the kids clothes
>>46318198
>White Scars would... do a thing?
>>46317165
I don't know. Maybe they would induct the child into their chapter for calling that marine a cunt. You never specified if the marine was a traitor or loyalist.
>>46318223
White Scars are too busy Gotta Go Fast'n to hear the kid.
>>46317542
>not becoming Emperor
>>46318307
They run him over
>>46318202
Underated post
The child is abducted and taken into the Chapter for his bravado.
Or he is marked for dissent and beaten by the local Arbites until he learns respect.
>>46317165
I assume that if you insulted a marines honor you would suffer a death penalty. At the very least I assumed that the kids father would be made to go on pilgrimage that would certainly end in death.
I'm kinda disappointed that marines are such pussy.
What would happen if a group of kids surrounded a marine and called him ugly, told him that nobody liked him and that their father were guardsmen and could kick his ass?
>>46317165
>dont talk to me or my wifes son again.jpg
>>46318556
Crimson Fist Marine is confused
>>46318556
He'd probably dropkick one of them ad a warning to the others.
>>46318654
>"THE CODEX ASTARTES DOES NOT OUTLINE THIS EVENTUALITY"
>>46317186
>Dark Angels
>Noble Legion utterly loyal to the Emperor, the only ones in the legion ever falling were swayed by a chaos prophet in turn corrupted by the Chaos Gods themselves
>Lion el'Jonson is the single most loyal primarch of them all, the only Primarch to be offered gifts by Chaos multiple times and telling them to shove it.
>Heroically gave 100,000 of their lives to save the newly born Imperium from a massive Xenos invasion.
>Originally the perfect legion and only surpassed by the Ultramarines, but still are the best generalists due to being the testing bed for all other Space Marines.
>Even though he fell to Chaos, Luther was able to shed the chains of Chaos and realize the immorality of his actions and fall into grief, begging for his confession to be accepted by the Lion.
>Primarch is still alive.
>Legion also has one of the greatest armories, being heavily stocked up on areotech and plasma, they also possess the single most powerful ship in the Imperium of Man, if not the galaxy.
>Night Lords
>Smelly traitors who almost entirely turned upon the Emperor, they are honorless dogs.
>Konrad Curze is an emo fuck who let himself get shanked to prove a pathetic argument.
>Night Lords suck in combat, can only win by ambushing the enemy with ridiculous odds in their favor.
>Can't even crusade properly.
>Terrible naval skill
>Terrible tactical skill
>Are the Greece of Chaos Space Marines, too poor to afford anything.
>Get BTFO by everybody.
Stay mad batfucker.
>>46318556
>that woman in the background whose nipples are clearly visible through her shirt
Woah there anon, blue board...
>>46318709
>Dark Angels
>loyal
Dropped. Your opinion is objectively wrong, have a nice day :^)
>>46318805
Sorry, your fanon ain't canon. Dark Angels have been loyal for years according to GW. The ambiguity of dark angel loyalty has been retconned for years.
Meanwhile Night Lords being bitches hasn't. Considering that Medieval Peasants killed 500 night lords.
>>46318805
> :^)
Counter argument dismissed.
>>46318556
Just a Crimson Fist with native Rynn's World children.Geddit. Because Mexican Marines and Mexican Children.
>>46318953
:^)
>>46318805
astelan pls go and stay go
>>46317290
10/10 Would backstory again.
>>46319008
>>46318805
>>46317695
>>46317186
>>46319008
Your husbando is shit.
>>46317165
Why didn't he dress her as a Watcher in the Dark? That would have been sweet. I mean if someone cosplays as an ork you use the children as grots, and as a Dark Angel you use them for Watchers, and as Guard Whiteshields.
>>46319174
So is your opinion.
>>46317165
The space marine would call the kid a cunt right back.
>>46317165
call a marines malevolent a cunt see what happenschild's skull is made into the marines belt buckle
>>46318883
>Considering that Medieval Peasants killed 500 night lords.
Say what?
>>46317665
Goddamnit Alpha legion guys always look like Lex Luthor.
>>46321720
The loyalists are coming! The loyalists are coming!
Ding dong, ding dong, ding dong...
>>46319602
6th Edition Space Marine Codex. Calgar crash landed on a feudal world by himself, he rallied medieval peasants and killed 500 night lords.
>>46323001
Well they had Calgar fighting at their side, that's basically cheating.
>>46317519
this
>>46317183
Underrated post
I need pictures, pictures of cosplay marines next to cute girls doing cute things.
>>46318217
>Blood Ravens "adopt" the child.
What about the other factions?
>Child calls a Tech-Priest a cunt
>gets turned into a toaster
>>46325202
>child calls any DEldar a cunt
>they're so pleasantly surprised that a mok'keigh knows one of their terms of formal address that they let the kid keep one limb for a whole fifteen minutes extra
>>46318123
>>46317290
And thus the Schola Australasium was born
>>46325202
>child calls an ork a cunt
>used as a soccer ball or kidnapped by a runtherd
>>46325202
>calls inquisitor a cunt
>entire world bathed in cleansing flame of exterminatus
>>46318883
Not canon.
>>46326144
Your opinion doesn't matter anon. It's modern and published by GW, it's canon. The opinion of fans literally does not matter under current IP laws.
>>46317165
Which chapter would agree with the kid, jokingly or not?
>>46326567
Avitus probably would give him pointers on how better to call his chapter cunts
>>46317165
WHOLE PLANET IS DOUBLE EXTERMINATUSED FOR THE EMPEROR FOR THIS HERESY
NOTHING ELSE IS GRIMDARK ENOUGH
FUCK
MAKE IT THE WHOLE SYSTEM ITS THE ONLY WAY TO BE GRIMDARK ENOUGH
>>46326965
The kid was human, right?
Humans come from Terra, right?
Best exterminatus Terra while we're at it.
>>46321720
Somebody shoop pic related.
The codex astartes does not approve of this action, citizen.
>>46317165
>kid not dressed up as a Watcher
Worst father.
>>46325202
Child calls a servitor a cunt ->is ignored
Child calls a Craftworld eldar a cunt ->44.5h lecture about why eldar cunts are sooo much better then all others
child calls a necron overlord a cunt -> challenged formally to a duel
child callsTrazyn a cunt -> nothing happens immediatly, but at the 23th birthday is taken as civilian bystander for his nightlord assault on the Protaka II Hydro dams diorama
child calls noise marine a cunt -> even though he screams from the top of his lungs, noone can hear it due to ambient noise
child calls a mordian colonwl a cunt ->33.333 laps around parade ground as correctional method
child calls a Sister of Battle a cunt -> wiping the whole floor of the basilica Santa Muciana after 200.000 dirty peasants have gone to the sermon, while permanently reciting hymns of redemption. Is still put in a penitent engine when coming of age. Put after dead gets absolution.
child calls tau water caste a cunt -> gets his words twisted in a way that they eventually mean, you are a cunt and I would really like to join the greater cunts
child calls tau ethereal a cunt -> brain gets geneticalls altered to be receptive of pheromones
child calls farsight a cunt -> gets a lesson on how farsight knows everything better and all others are bigger cunts
child calls demunculae born Iron warrior a cunt -> Nothing happens, the Iron warrior does not know the meaning.
child calls a carnifex a cunt -> doesn't matter, gets eaten
>>46318102
>Space Wolves would laugh, clap them on the back, and inform then that they're a chapter neophyte now
>Grey Knights would[REDACTED BY ORDER OF THE HIGH LORDS]
>Black Templars would interpret this clear example of corruption in the planet's youth to be grounds for a cleansing crusade
>Minotaurs would stab the kid without looking
>Lamenters would not outwardly react, but break just a little more on the inside
>>46325178
The Blood Raven adopted no one. This child was merely a treasured gift of friendship from the people of his world.
Just like the child's puppy, which was generously gifted to the chapter by the pet store with the smashed in front window.
>>46318223
>Space Wolves would immediately decide they like the kid for having such titanic balls and either recruit them or have them made a serf
>>46327049
>Salamanders giving a fuck about the Codex
>>46325945
commissar Trent of the punchbowl system reporting for duty ya shit cunt
>>46327423
>chaos chaos, punch em in the face
>>46321720
>>46327042
Pretty sure Lorgar looks like Lex Luthor.
>>46318709
> Originally the perfect legion and only surpassed by the Ultramarines
> Ultramarines
> Ultra
> marines
Funny joke you got there. It was so good I forgot to laugh.
>>46318556
Uh. You realise that marines and chapters run the gamut from pure white knights to horrific monsters right?
A Flesh Tearer, for example, would probably just eat and/or drain the child of blood there in the street.
SUFFER NOT THE HERETIC TO LIVE
>>46319295
>Why didn't he dress her as a Watcher in the Dark?
I guess because she wanted to be a marine?
>>46327657
Everyone knows Ultracunts are the worst chapter.Salamanders are best chapter
>>46317542
Pshhh
>>46327067
>Child calls a Khorne Berzerker a cunt
Get yelled at for the next three weeks
>Child calls a tzeentch sorcerer a cunt
The word "cunt" actually was the last part of an acient ritual to invoke a greater demon. The world falls into madness. The child gets turned into a centipede.
>Child calls a Slaanesh Marine a cuntThis is a blue board
>Child calls Plague Marine a cunt
Nothing happens but the child has ebola now
>>46327757
Well, you're half right.
>tfw no 7 foot uncle who comes home every couple years with cool stories and neat trinkets for you and your siblings that he forged himself
>>46327049
Oh, shut up, Cato.
>>46327049
Nice spikes brother
>>46318158
>Raven Guard would give him the emperors truth >communism
>>46318102
>Dark Angels would deny everything. His parents are lying. There is no child. He was not abducted and tortured for his secrets.
Made me laugh way more than it should, thanks
e'd gob u in the gabba m8
>>46327201
>But what of this children's sized bicycle, brother?
>ANOTHER RELIC OF THE CHAPTER RECLAIMED!
>>46317165
That kid is one happy marine.
>>46327176
>>Lamenters would not outwardly react, but break just a little more on the inside
Im not crying my eyes are just leaking.
>>46325921
>one of their terms of formal address
The Dark Eldar are Australian?
>>46329833
Poor Lamenters.
>>46329347
>And what of these children's education manuals, brother?
>YET ANOTHER RELIC OF THE CHAPTER, ONCE MORE RECLAIMED!
>>46327067
>Child calls a Craftworld eldar a cunt ->44.5h lecture about why eldar cunts are sooo much better then all others
>>46317165
Depends on the chapter you dumpy idiot.
>>46329891
Tbf, I'd rather put it in an Eldar can't than any other race
>>46317599
Curzefag is a gril anon.
>>46330012
That kid is so girly that it might as well be a grill.
>>46327049
Salamanders lead fucking families and tribes, they are total broskies.
>>46330039
I bet you use the same argument to justify traps too.
>>46318158
>Imperial Fists would agree.
>>46319295
>>46327065
>>46318181
>I'm going to be the Avenging Angel of the Emperor, a super badass dude who kills Xenos and doesn't afraid of anything
>you get to be a little Xeno nobody really gives a fuck and are mostly used as servants and occasionally listened to
Obviously dad made the right choice
>>46330012
>you will never eat her out while she shitposts
>>46327657
>>46327757
Nice joke memesters
>>46318499
...
Cunt...
>>46331198
Feels bad man.
>>46331198
But why would you want to do that?
>>46334706
Why not?
>>46318883
>>46326144
>GW ruining one of the few interesting things about their setting.
Par for the course, I guess.
>>46334863
Are there marines with mustache?
>>46335952
>>46327423
Commisar Shane here, glad ta have ya, ya cheeky cunt. Welcome to the Oobloodylongabong system!
>>46335952
Don't some Black Templars have them?
>>46317165
>kid: oi, cunt!
>Australian marine: u wot m8?
>kid: yeah, u mat8, ur a cunt!
>Australian marine: u wanna go, m8? u wana fite? u wanna rooty tooty fisty patooty?
>kid: i swer on me mum, m8, ill rek u, fite me 1v1
>>46329884
>And what of this pile of chalk dust? Surely, this can't be-
>ANOTHER RELIC OF THE CHAPTER RECLAIMED
Anyone have any screencaps from that "Space Marines as babysitters" topic from a few months back?
>>46317165
Space Marines are above caring
Anyone civilian in ear shot would want to beat him. if the world they are on is within the Imperial fold angway
>>46318158
The Raven Guard are actually usually pretty cool bros. They'd teach the kid independence.
>>46336453
I just have some odd screencaps I didn't string together. I know there's a better cap out there.
>>46336144
I guess after the drop bears, a space marine wouldn't seem so bad to call a cunt
>>46318709
>typing all that shit out
Yeah, you sure showed him.
>>46336062
Brother-Captain Bruce over there leads the Assault Platoon, Brother-Sergeant Bruce is your squad commander, Chaplain Bruce is one scary fucker and keeps our souls clean for the Emperor, the sick cunt himself, and Brother-Corporal Bruce over there takes care of the attack bikes and is ALSO in charge of the sheep dip.
>>46317165
you just know that bald neckbeard is a fat af aspie turd underneath the armor, and that tickles my jollies.
>>46337964
>This is our new Initiate, joining us fresh off the boat.
>Is your name not Bruce?
>No, it's Damon.
>That's going to get confusing. Mind if we call you Bruce to keep it simple?
>Come on you two, into the barracks with the rest of the Initiate Bruces.
>>46338034
>the chapter reflection and meditation consists of them reciting the drunk Primarch song
>>46338056
Leeeeeeeman "Wolf" Russ caused an awful fuss
And was very rarely sober.
Konrad Curze was a boozey turd
And drank enough to knock you over.
Perturabo could strawpedo
His bodyweight in ale.
And Magnus the Red ended up in bed
After puking on the table.
There's nothing Lorgar couldn't learn ya' bout the raising of the wrist.
Guilliman himself was permanently pissed...
Rogal Dorn, one sunny morn'
Woke up smashed with his trousers torn.
Horus, they say, could stick it away;
Half a crate of whiskey every day.
Fulgrim, Fulgrim got as drunk as sin,
Corax was fond of his rum.
And Alpharius would get drunk and curse:
"God damn that Omegon."
Yes Sanguinius himself was particularly fine,
Except for his dirty little secret 'bout the "wine".
>>46338530
>"wine"
Nice.
>>46337357
>>46337628
Thank you based anon.
