Why is your squire so shit, Sir Anon?
He likes anime.
>>44485438
Because he doesn't share any of that monstergirl pussy.
Always drunk
>>44485438
Because he won't stop dying.
THERE ARE ONLY SO MANY DIAMONDS THE CLERIC IS WILLING TO SPEND ON YOU, YOUNG MAN.
>>44485438
doesn't dabble in enough dark power
>>44485438
Because he is an unlicensed homosexual.
>>44485662
So, "light power" is shit? Or he doesn't dabble enough in that either?
>>44485438
Bless him, he tries but knighthood is just out of his reach for awhile yet. He still doesn't have a mount thanks to a curse laid on him by a centaur witch he managed to insult.
>>44485702
That or a deathknight.
>>44485438
Because he's an unfixable virgin of the lance.
I've spent thousands (thousands!) in your goddamned armor so you can scare peasants!
I've called in every favor I have to get you that gigantic warhorse so that you can trample the foes of justice!
I've geared you with the artifacts I've kept for years! My own father's lance, sword and shield!
And yet you're incapable of poking a single goblin.
Shame on you.
>>44485438
Keeps getting involved in every single peasant squabble we come across.
![[insert NYEHs here].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/j7fF1DO.jpg "[insert NYEHs here].jpg")
Please ignore him, we trained him wrong on purpose, as a joke.
It's a natural outcome of the Law of Conservation of Awesome. The squire is shit so that I can be amazing.
>>44489406
I like you.
>>44487595
Why would you invest so much in someone who had shown no promise?
You must see now that evil will always triumph because good is dumb.
>>44485438
I keep him around more as an Eromenos than a squire, really.
>>44485438
He's learning. Insult my squire again and it will cost you your tongue.
>>44489685
(I'm going for full edge)
The boy spends to much time with his girl friend? I'd say
>>44485438
He's actually only my part-time squire and spends the rest of his time being the traveling merchant whose cart I pay rent on while I wander in search of wrongs to be righted.
>>44485438
Because he's a shitty animeposter
>>44485438
Because the fool tries to take after me too much, his strengths isn't madness in battle or endurance beyond thought. His is one of determined diplomacy and good horsemanship, if the boy only took the time to figure that out he'd be a great lord some day but for now I fear that he'll walk my way. Past all the glory.
>>44485438
Because I taught him wrong on purpose. Ser Berenike, my brother dearest, will see his heir turn into an imbecile moron.
Why? Because he intoduced my daughter to that gods forsaken kender bard.
>>44485438
Why is he trying to avoid/fight them instead of going straight to for tail? is he a gay?
>>44489582
I don't know, I kinda like setting these impossible challenges for him now. It's like building up a tower of blocks just to knock it down over and over again, very amusing.
>>44485537
>Implying the monstergirls are giving him a choice
>>44485438
>Why is your squire so shit, Sir Anon?
Because Naga scum... he is the bait.
>>44485438
Because he's a squire.
If he wasn't so shit he wouldn't be a squire he would be a knight or at very best a grunt.
But no he's the knights handyman.
>>44491634
Cause he lost track of them and they rerouted around him.
His poor combatant tactics will lead to a painful death, snake venom and all that.
Don't matter how much fancy armor your daddy gave you, if you don't know how to properly deal with monsters you are gonna end up dead quick, it's why you hire specialists.
>>44493647
You know, Black Swordsman Guts would probably fuck them, given the opportunity.
After he starts traveling with Casca though, probably not.
>>44485438
That's not my squire, Anon.
But I will save him from his own stupidity, just this once, and actually teach him how to fight beasts.
If he craps out, he craps out and he's on his own.
If he actually sticks through my training, he might just make it out there.
>>44485438
>That doll
Gets me every time
>>44491634
He doesn't want to die by snu snu again
>>44485438
hey fuck you hes a great squire.
why are you such a shit judge of skill
>>44489582
Don't worry I spend every waking moment of the day teaching then beating him till he learns. He'll learn eventually or die trying right?
>>44485438
go for the tail behind you boy she wont have time to unwrap it before you stab it.
>>44485438
I trained him wrong, as a joke
>>44485438
Because training is not instantaneous, Sir. I will make a man out of him, and if I cannot, the sodding beasts will take him.
>>44485438
because some assholes with fucking wheels came in and killed everyone in the castle
IM A FUCKING VILEBLOOD, DRANK STRAIGHT FROM THE QUEEN HERSELF
if i was there, you can bet your ass that them fucking wheelers would be spinning into the ground
>>44491858
>building a tower just to knock them down again
>>44491858
shit test anon, have them fill a constantly magically draining pool of water instead.
>>44485438
everytime this image turns up that fucking fake-naga on the tail cracks me up.
