as a player or as a GM, in any game, whats some of the dumbest shit you have every seen people do? i will tell you some of the stuff i have seen and i'm curious if there is anyone here who has seen worse.
>myself and my friend agree to a friendly duel. first blood wins.
>we both make attack rolls, i roll a Nat.20
>Dm tells me to roll for damage
>i don't want to do damage i want to tap him with the blade
>Dm forces me to roll damage
>badly injure my friend
> i attempt to apply pressure to wound to stop the bleeding
>dm "roll a dex check"
>what???
>dm "roll a dex check to see if you stop the bleeding
same DM, same session
>attempting to distract a a shop owner so i can steal an item the party is after
>being a drow rogue i have 3 spell like abilities
>before entering the shop i told the Dm i wanted to place a stick on the frame of the shop window so i could cast faerie fire on it to make him confused
>dm "roll a dex check"
>again? with the dex checks? why?
>to see if you put the stick in the window.
>how does that makes sense?
>Dm "its hard to balance sticks"
next session
>following an important NPC because the party was too stupid to ask him the right questions for a quest we are doing
>Dm rolls a perception check
>npc finds me
>Dm setting a fucking Dc for my stealth
>mfw no dex check
In fairness OP it is hard to balance sticks.
>>44395891
You just prop it in the corner and make a triangle, it's not that hard.
>>44395422
Friendly duels can result in serious injuries.
>>44395422
>2 players in 3.5
>both thieves
>PCs are attacking a small 2story guard tower in the middle of nowhere
>pc1 sneaks up to the tower...failed his hide roll and is spotted.
>PC flees to the brush to avoid the crossbow carrying guards on top of the tower
>pc2 decides to full on charge the tower because fuck stealth
>pc2 is shot once approaching
>pc2 should flee at this point
> I ask what he wants to do...
>" I tumble around the tower and try the door again"
>PC is shot again (nearly dead now)
>"door is still locked? Hmmm I tumble up the side of the tower"
DM: u wut?
PC dies while attempting to tumble/climb 20' up a smooth wall while being shot at by crossbowmen and having a basket of rocks dropped on him
>pc2 " I really thought that would work"
>>44396068
Same game. Player rolls up a fighter and joins the rogue.
Same tower needs attacked.
>pc1 gets into position to snipe the guard.
>pc2 " I charge the door"
>DM" u know you will be shot at?"
>pc2 " I tumble up to the door and attempt to hide in front of it"
Fuckbeans,....he died again
>>44395970
This is true.
>>44396157
>>44396068
I get the feeling this guy didn't fully understand the bit about Tumble negating attacks of opportunity.
>>44396207
The fucked up part...after his 5th death from stupid shit, he quit being a player, and dm'd.
About the best DM I ever had. And KNEW the rules well. Just a tard as a PC.
>>44395422
>this guy tries to have sex with every women.
>had enough so I alower it but he had to roll a Fort save.
>is a wizard.
>rolls a 1
>preceded to tell how he will forever be known to the shores of the capital city as both " the fastest ride in town" and also the wizard with a "2 inch wand."
>never did that shit again.
I know I'm probably a that dm, but fuck it, everyone was tired of his shit.
>>44396479
>>44396479
You did good.
>>44395970
Yes but a nat20 means they did the move really well. So they did what they intended to do (in this case not maim each other).
I am so sick of the "you tried to knock him out but you rolled a 20 which means you killed him" bollocks. HIGHER IS GOOD YO WHICH MEANS I DUN GOOD AT WHAT I WAS AIMIN' TO DO MEANING I DID IT.
>>44395422
>that guy cooks up the most overpowered shit that barely aligns with the homebrew's rules, yet DMs allow him to get away with it because a) he's a huge sycophant to them and b) if he doesn't get it he'll dig his heels in and bitch nonstop until he gets his way
>other that guy barely RPs or interacts with anyone or anything, even shit that he would have a strong IC reason to interact with
>third that guy and first that guy are either the most dedicated trolls I've ever seen or legitimately can't understand the difference between IC and OOC knowledge
>>44396198
As someone who received a broken hand yesterday from having a friendly duel while wearing protective gear and synthetic sabers, I can agree to this. No one really appreciates how dangerous steel on steel free play is. As far as I'm concerned, the nat 20 is what prevented the other guy from being killed.
>>44398043
You're an idiot.
>>44397668
I get what you're saying, but at what point should a friendly duel lead to an accidental injury? Since rolling too low would mean missing your target or being parried, and a crit means you hit your mark exactly how you want.
>>44395422
I had a DM that, when I was making a strength check against a blacksmith to see whether or not I push him, declare that my roll of 16 "didn't even beat his strength modifier."
>>44398043
>>44398103
"Doing too well in the exact way you don't want, ie skewering your bud in a practice match and him almost dying" is literally a failure and not an intentional result of the duel, so the natural 20 should have not almost killed the friend in a friendly fight.
Accidental injuries should be in the realm of totally blowing the roll.
>>44398103
For one, a friendly duel that's not supposed to be for anything actually important (I assume this is what a friendly duel means, and even otherwise) shouldn't be full on combat. That's just stupid and wastes time. It should be one roll, combat bonuses and all, see who gets the better roll.
We did it like this once, and it actually resulted in an accidental injury. I totally botched my roll while he succeeded at his, so it was ruled that my character wasn't totally prepared when it began, accidentally glanced the other way and got full-on smashed in the neck with a wooden sword. It went badly for him after that.
>>4439810
Since it's a game and not a real life simulation, just ignore accidents altogether.
You don't roll to see if you hit your head when you fall prone, or slip on your shoe laces when you try running. Awkward accidents aren't fun, except when they're agreed upon by the players like in a game of FATE or Fiasco.
>>Playing 3.5e
>>group is walking to our next destination
>>We are on a plain
>>Thief wants to have an arrow nocked in his bow
>>Figure, Ok, he wants to be prepared for a possible ambush
>>DM describes a disturbance or some shit like that
>>Thief declares he is going to fire an arrow into the trees
>>whatthefuck
>>We try to explain that we are on the plains
>>dumb fuck wants to do it anyway
>>DM says that the arrow went flying off over the plain
>>Arrow was poisoned with wyvern Poison
>>Dipshit thief wasted one of his 5 doses of super poison
>>44398440
>meanwhile, half a mile away
>BBEG's lieutenant is guarding the entrance to the only road that goes from the plains to the party's next objective through the forest
>Advising his minions to keep an eye out for the party and get ready to attack them when spotted
>suddenly, an arrow lodges itself in his throat
>seconds later, he dies, from the arrow and the deadly poison coursing through his veins
>panicked, the forces guarding the road flee into different directions
>Unknown to anyone, the thief had potentially saved their lives that day.
>>44398440
>rage
I hate it when thieves do stupid shit. I have a soft spot in my heart for experts.
>5 player game. Pc4 is rogue.
>party is exploring a small cave and gets attacked by a bandit/pirate
>bandit is swinging a 2hander
>fighter is down to 3 HP
>only pc4 is nearby.
Does the thief step up and flank the bandit? Noooooo.
>thief steps back and shoots into melee
>fighter drops. Bandit steps back and hacks thief. Drops thief.
>rest of party shows up and kills bandit.
Pc4 bitches that encounter was too difficult
Stupid players trigger me
>>44398535
Kek
>party is looking for an evil cult
>player ask walks up to nearest passerby and starts asking them, in elven, where tonight's secret evil cult meeting is, in broad daylight in the middle of a busy street
>NPC can't reply because he doesn't know elven
>player two berates player one for doing something so stupid
>player two then asks OOC how many people live in the town
>I say the population is around 12,000
>player two then asks how many houses there are
>"there's about one family per house so 3 or 4 thousand, why player two?"
>"Do we have enough time to search them all before the cult meeting?"
>player three declares the group is splitting up and wanders off alone to knock on doors and ask people if they have hidden temples in their basements
>player two is confused when I start laughing
I remind the group that they have half a dozen NPC allies who live in the city that they can go to for info.
Same group later tried putting out a burning building (that they set on fire) by standing 15 feet away and throwing handfuls of dirt.
>>44398535
I'd probably do this and say nothing t the party about it, with the minions carting the guy's body away.
They just get to a prime ambush spot, only to find no ambush and some blood.
Then they find the BBEG's second-in-command just kinda vanishes from the plot, with some of the BBEG's minions mentioning he befell what had to be some kind of divine punishment.
>friend keeps bothering me to play a game
>I look up a premade adventure or something
>have to give him OP stats because he's a 1 man party
>still takes 2 full hours to make a one off character
>it's a fucking copy paste min-max warrior, except it's not MIN because stupid stats
>premade adventure is kind of shitty
>still change however I can to make it better
anyway after taking forever the game is finally started
>investigating a graveyard in a town being attacked by skeletons at night
>insists on checking every stupid fucking pebble and stick in a 30 mile radius
>finally knocks over a sarcophagus uncovering an underground stairway
>wants to know who the grave belonged to
>wastes time going to the church guy and asking for the records
>wow gee it belongs to a literally who
>insists something is being covered up
>demands to know what's going on
JUST GO DOWN THE HOLE YOU STUPID CUNT
>goes back to graveyard
>the lid is "askew" and he can just push it off
>wants to roll str
>just push it off
>doesn't argue but literally cannot comprehend that I'm telling him to move the slab out of the way without rolling anything or taking any penalties
>I have to yell JUST MOVE IT at the top of my lungs several times before he does it
>he starts looking for rope to climb down
>it's a stairway
>takes a good 5 minutes of arguing before he descends the stairway without rope
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF
after the most boring dungeon crawl in history he goes back up.
at this point he's such an OP mary sue it's like matt ward filled out his character sheet.
>investigates bullshit rich family who owns an estate in the town along with catacombs
>thinks this is some murder mystery or some shit and not a level 1 dungeon crawl
>what am I agatha fucking christie? just kill the skeletons you dipshit
god, so much dumb shit happened.
like, he does a check and discovers a pouch hidden nearby. first thing he does is grab the rock hiding it and try to examine it.
I genuinely think he has a mental problem.
>>44401216
You sound like a legitimate asshole.
>>44401216
Shit tier gm detected
Just got back from a session, might not be stupid to some but its interesting nonetheless
>5e
>playing a hill dwarf life cleric
>party ends up in a town where everyone has gone insane except for a few survivors
>one of the survivors tells us a mercenary that had helped them fight off the crazies and ended up one himself and they locked him in a room
>we offer to help neutralize him, specifically through nonlethal means
>get a surprise round on the mercenary
>friend who is playing a ranged cleric and DM controlled NPC rogue use their surprises to deal heavy dmg to the merc
>I was unable to move because DM told me my picking/opening(criminal background) the door open was my action which I was fine with
>normal combat round comes and the insane merc charges after me with a halberd
>DM rolls a nat 20
>the crit is exactly enough to kill me
>DM intervenes after I tell him I am dead and changes it to I dying and get 2 failures instead
I don't see why some DMs are afraid to let PC's die even if I was still lvl 1. I've known the DM for 5 years and he knows I don't get upset over this stuff
>>44401502
Because players feelings.
Don't get me wrong, if the dice hates you I do appoligies for what is coming. But adventuring is job that has a high mortality rate , so it should be reflected in the game as such.
>>44401502
Because going from fine to dead for a PC in a single roll is fucking stupid, especially given that this is post-3e D&D?
>>44401290
well, you're not wrong. the only experience I had with d&d at that time was a 40 minute session in a completely different edition.
I played a human and was stuck in a dungeon the whole without being able to see anything because lol darkvision.
also the fact that DMing a 1 player game is completely pointless and you might as well read a CYOA book out loud.
the whole game wasn't bad though, it ended well and we both liked it, however there was a lot of bullshit throughout which was totally uncool.
I had 15 minutes to read the DM guide and it said I was basically god and what I said happened, so it was very difficult being challenged on everything, especially insignificant little things which didn't matter at all.
>>44402363
Anon no.
The best games ever were 1-1 games.
>>44402346
11 hp, the merc rolled nat 20 using a halberd and had some bonus to let him deal 1d4 extra dmg, so I was hit for 2d10+1d4+2. Overall I wasn't mad, just annoyed that he spared my character who I barely played and invested for 2 hours.
>>44398190
>tfw blacksmith is john cena
>>44402464
From his perspective, I can easily see what the train of thought was. If you at all seemed eager to play the character, or if you say, spent a lot of time on the character (or seemed to) via chargen or otherwise, then having the character exist for two hours or so before dying and then forcing you to make another character is kind of stupid. Either you were invested into the character and now you can't use them (disregarding twins and/or clones), or you weren't, which means making a new character would be utterly pointless because absolutely nothing would change besides shuffling out a corpse for someone else (unless you expressed the desire to make another character).
>>44395943
It's pretty easy to bundle them, too.
You fagot.
>>44402681
Adventurer's die in combat. Its a pretty standard thing, he just acted like I never had a character die before. I guess not being invested in it wasn't exactly true I did plan on him surviving longer than that but I already had backup characters prepped just in casethe dm has tendencies to be sadistic when he runs campaigns
I like your stories. Bump
>friends doing a serious real wolrd syria rp.
>with isis, politics and shit
Didnt even last 2 hours
>>44398103
To me it makes sense that accidental injury would be in the middle. You rolled well enough to succeed, but there is a downside.
>>44402938
As an elite dm I check their eyes. If the right eye blinks slightly faster than the left one, they get injured. People hate me for staring and making decisions after but its because they dont know my mechanics
>>44402955
>Shitposting
At least try to hide it.
>>44395891
It's easier if they're bundled.
>>44402991
I think that's called a joke, anon.
>>44396157
>>44396068
Does he happen to play Dark/Demon souls? That's the impression I'm getting.
>>44396157
>pc2 " I tumble up to the door and attempt to hide in front of it"
What
>>44395422
>be me
>be GM
>trying to get my friends into the FFG star wars RPG
>They fail trying to convince someone they are in their territory for good purposes
>Unbeknownst to them, person signals ambushers to to attack party
>Say "As he appears more unstisfied with you, you see someone in the bushes ready a blaster and fires at you"
>this one bitch decides to ague with me about why they get to attack her first and they couldn't prepare
>claims the game is unfair and gets mad at me and the game
>mfw the attacker is a 6 health minion
>mfw she had a blaster rifle that dealt at least 9 damage each attack
>mfw the minion misses and she one-shots him immidiately after
>mfw she was still mad afterwards
pic barely related
>>44398190
Maybe the blacksmith was a shapeshifted dragon?
>Party inside an old robot warehouse
>Gale the gaunt and skinny human hacker with barely any muscle mass thinks playing a joke on Shotput the Troll would be fun
>Gale grabs an arm from the counter, then smacks the balled fist on the guard the party just gutted
>Robot arm nice and bloody, skin caking it
>He sneaks up on Shotput with the arm
>The warehouse is pretty dark because Gale had cut the power for the team to get in
>Gale slaps the arm across Shotput's back, yells out, "HELP!" leaves the arm, then scrambles off giggling to himself
>Shotput has some mental problems and takes this as a life or death scenario
>He dashes across the warehouse after the assailant he thinks Gale is being kidnapped by
>Decks Gale straight in the mouth
>Gale takes his full stun and a good chunk of real damage
>Gale is out of the entire run
>Misses a chance to steal some really nice tech because of this
This is one of the stupidest things my group has done. Though the time they used a water spirit to ramp a giant mech driven by a angry dwarf then out a window comes pretty close.
>>44395422
>"its hard to balance sticks"
>>44395422
Try to disarm a pit trap.
It's a fucking hole in the ground, just walk around it.
>Party is heading into town, during high harvest season.
>We're tired of walking, and discuss buying a wagon since our newly aquired base is a short travels way from town.
>Barbarian asks DM if there are any wagons nearby.
>There's a farmer with a wagon of hayballs.
>Barbarian runs straight up and offers to buy the wagon and horse for X amount of G
>DM and Warlock inform the barbarian that X amount of G is enough for that farmer to live without working for two years.
>Warlock desperately try to convince the farmer that the barbarian wasn't serious.
>DM insists that the first offer still stands, and that we have to pay him X amount of G.
>Farmer runs off a rich man, we have a modest wagon and an old horse.
>The hay in the wagon is in the way.
>Barbarian picks it up and throws it into the air.
>"Hey firemage, think fast!!!"
>Pyromaniac bitch thinks fast and rolls well, burning the hay in the sky.
>We're travelling through serious farmland.
>It's harvest season. VERY DRY harvest season.
>We panic at the now burning hay landing.
>DM rolls and only one place starts burning, quite far off.
>I as a monk jump the fuck over there and stomp the fire out.
>As a monk I am barefoot.
>Burn my feet seriously, but stop the fire.
>Warlock patches me up as we ride into town in our new shitty wagon.
>TFW we almost set fire to an entire harvest.
>Fucking barbarians.
>>44403750
Punch her in the ovaries
>Session finished for fast, DM finishing up last minute stuff, asks if anyone else wants to do anything
>Rogue suddenly decides he wants to buy the tavern we're in, offers to buy it from the bartender for basically peanuts
>bartender laughs on his face, spits in his drink, and says that ones on the house
>Rogue shoots bartender in the face, killing him
>Most people inside panic and flee, some of the more tough customers grab their weapons
>witch hunter fights then with Rogue
>o make a big show of storming out to maintain my image, then sneak back on to help mop up witnesses and take their skeletons.
>somehow the bar ends up on fire, catching the rest of the neighborhood on fire as well
>we all shrug our shoulders and run of to murder the mayor
Our diplomacy guy was in for a shock next session since he missed that one... And was explained away as negotiating with the mayor in the meantime.
The rogue nearly got killed during the mayor fight when a coffee table for thrown at his face.
Well, there was the high-speed chase by the police whilst we were in a Pirates-of-the-Caribbean-blasting ice cream truck with a pirate flag and an USSR flag hanging out of the window with a werewolf in the back.
And the dropping of a goddamn crane on said werewolf.
And the time our ninja guy (it's a fairly serious campaign plotwise but the characters are hilarious stereotypes. Our mentor is a flamboyant homosexual.) froze time to safely climb off a closet he teleported on, botching the roll and causing us to miss half a day.
And the time I converted a cop to communism in order to get our crazy scientist off the hook for flying a fucking jetpack through town.
And then there's the magical baguette sword.
>>44395422
>"It's hard to balance sticks"
I want to say it's straight retarded but then again
>It is, in fact, hard to balance sticks
