This is Jar of Affliction.
If opened or broken, disease, insanity and death will come to those nearby.
What do, /tg/?
>>44320417
Throw it in the enemy.
Post it to someone I dislike with the words "free candy inside" painted on it.
Give it to /co/
>>44320417
>nearby
Nearly worthless! Time to research a way to make that into everywhere.
>>44320417
Use it as catapult ammo, I suppose. This sort of thing would be good for sieges.
>>44320417
Tie some glass or clay jars with spiders inside them to it and then hurl the whole shit at the first cunt that deserves it.
>>44320417
Gift it to Dinkleberg
>>44320435
>throw it in
>in
Alright, give me an Escape Artist DC80 check
>>44320417
leave a sign that says "DO NOT OPEN" attached to it.
Go into the deepest cave I can find
Place traps everywhere
Hire bandits and intelligent monsters while finding ways to get feral creatures on your side
Pay a dragon in a miniature mountain of gold to safeguard it
Build a sophisticated door at the entrance of the cave after supplying the residents with supplies using premade portals
Build an extremely sophisticated door at the entrance
Lock it using a bunch of sophisticated keys, each requiring a super advanced puzzle to unlock
Place these keys in different super dangerous dungeons guarded by high level monsters
Attain lichdom to ensure that such an evil jar is never misused
Then I watch as a group of adventurers finds all the keys, opens the door and all murderhobo themselves, ignoring every single warning sign and every shred of common sense they had, never once taking into consideration "Maybe there's a reason for all of this security"
>>44320417
Is hope at the bottom of this?
Stay the fuck away
>>44320417
Depends on how wide the area it affects is.
If "nearby" is ~15 m, I'd use it as a grenade.
>>44321162
I hope not.heh
To the Greeks at the time, Hope escaping last from Pandora's Box wasn't a good thing. Hope was the worst thing in there, because it magnified the suffering of everything else.
This is the mindset that gave birth to Stoicism, after all.
>>44321073
Ha, classic Pratchett.
Well, adventurers too, but people acting like that is universal.
>>44320417
Rig a mechanical contraption to open it at the Republican National Convention
So see the Pandora's Box thing, what I never got was
>all the evils, diseases, afflications, negatives, etc. were sealed in the box
>when they were in the box they couldn't afflict mankind
>Pandora let them out of the box to savage humanity
>Pandora sealed hope in the box, which is treated like a good thing
Doesn't this just mean that all the evils are loose and terrorizing us, but we still don't have hope?
>>44320709
This was my idea too.
One per city should do the trick. Might not be able to capture the city afterwards though.
Place it over a half closed door.
>>44322899
.. That's not really how the story goes, you uneducated cunt.
>>44323586
Then pray tell, how does the story goes if it doesn't end with Hope staying in the box?
>>44323642
>wikipedia
According to Hesiod, when Prometheus stole fire from heaven, Zeus took vengeance by presenting Pandora to Prometheus' brother Epimetheus. Pandora opens a jar containing death and many other evils which were released into the world. She hastened to close the container, but the whole contents had escaped except for one thing that lay at the bottom – Elpis (usually translated "hope", though it could also mean "expectation").[6]
Pandora was just "oh hey what's in there" and she didn't intend for any of that shit to happen.
You got me on why hope remains in the box though. In the version I learned she looks in the box again, sees Hope and lets it out to help counteract the shit she just did.
>>44323642
After the afflictions escape, Pandora hears a meek voice inside and thinking nothing as horrific and evil as what she has already unleashed can remain inside, she opens it again, letting Hope go free.
I don't know what kind of a stupid cockmongler version you've heard of the story, but it's been the wrong one.
Twat.
>>44320417
Death sort of renders the first two meaningless, doesn't it?
>>44323705
Depends on how fast you die.
>>44320417
I stroll into the Demon Lord's Black Castle, located in a swirling maelstrom of chaotic energies. There, surrounded by pain and fear, I bargain with him, to join his dark cause, and add strength to his forces. I inform him that with me, I have brought an artifact of great power, enough to bring entire armies to their knees. I then give him the jar, and gesture for him to open it.
>>44323642
Actually,the problem with Greek myths is that they have multiple interpretations, there are like three or four different stories of how Poseidon made the horses, for instance.
Pandora's has two main variations, in one, the only one left is hope, which she lets go so it could make humanity keep fighting despite all the shit she relased. In other, it's something along the lines of precognition that it'd destroy the hopes people already had, they'd know every single misfortune caused by the other evils, feel helpless about it and wither away.
>>44323688
I thought the rock-eagle-liver thing was Prometheus' punishment for stealing fire. Isn't Pandora a punishment for making humans in the first place?
>>44320417
Throw it in Mt. Doom
>>44320417
>Give it to a construct.
>Let the construct open it in a Bag of Holding or another container.
>Experiment with magical science.
>Point the opening of the container to an individual you hate.
>Put that person in quarantine.
>More science.
>>44322868
It is 2015 after all.
>>44324374
Has any meme ever derived from so much butthurt?
>>44321431
But I thought that Hope DIDN'T escape, and that it was left inside the box so it wasn't destroyed by the rest?
>>44323586
>>44323700
Holy shit, Dante, turn it down a notch. There were plenty of contradictory Greek myths, like the two different stories about how Orion died. Don't have a cow.
>>44327924
It DID escape, because if it didn't, everything would be hopeless and there'd be no reaso to endure.
>>44320417
Give it to a dumb, pretty, curious girl, set her up to be married to my enemy. Super casually mention to her NEVER to open it. Get the fuck out ASAP.
>>44320417
sell it.
>>44323816
I'd always heard that, despite it seeming beneficial, Hope was actually the most cruel and insidious evil in the box since it made men want to continue living and so suffer all the horrors life would bring.
>>44330980
neat
>>44324275
Zeus was a dick, anon.
>>44320417
What sort of range are we talking here OP? A meter? 10 meters? 100? A kilometer? Is this a magical Strangelove Doomsday Device? Am I doom ing a room, city or continent by weaponizing this magical pot? I need more information before I start building inadvisable plots around this wonderous decice.
>>44330980
I disagree, I feel that Greek mythology is pretty biased towards HFY sometimes, where they only not tryumph over something because of one of those evils, always felt it was supposed to represent how, even fated to failure, they'll keep trying and sometimes defy the odds, as most legends regarding humans or demigods shows,
>>44320808
underrated post
>>44323642
In the one I remember,
Prometheus and Epimethius make humans out of mud or something.
Pandora is given to Epimethius as a wife.
Prometheus, as the Titan of Forethought, says 'hey bro, that chick's bad news.'
Epimethius, as the Titan of Thought/Afterthought, doesn't see the problem.
Pandora gets curious, opens the box.
All the evils fly out, and that's terrible. Hope is the only thing that's left in the box because it's too heavy to fly out.
>>44320417
put it in a slightly larger jar with a similar name
problem solved?
>>44320417
Break it over your head
Really? I have to be the first one? Alright...
I put my dick in it.
>>44320417
throw it into a subway tunnel or off a really tall building and laugh
>>44338013
GOD DAMMIT ZEUS
>>44338836
>>44338013
>>44333972
>>44333972
fucking lol
>>44338013
/thread
>>44320417
I stick a note on like this and place it on an otherwise empty cart in the market district of the nearest city.
>>44320417
>Use wand of duplication to recreate several thousands of them.
>Drop them over Saudi Arabia
>>44323785
>jerk-ass homebrewed to be immune to disease, mind-altering effects, and death effects because of course
8/10 idea though, would attempt to pull off.
>>44320417
Curse it.
>>44320417
Define nearby. If it's within 1km, just throw it into the ocean an sail the fuck away before it breaks on some rock on its way down or a fish eats it. A wee bit of luck might even allow it not to break at all.
