You can hardly keep your body awake. The morning is already hot from the burning sun, and your meditation will soon be over, but you must last a moment more. You graduated from the monastery of Sa'migel the Arcangel yesterday, and have been in quiet contemplation since. The monastery of Sa'migel is not prestigious or famous, no Stanford or Berkli or Yusielei, but it is the best your parents could afford. The life of a monk is hard, but far better than that of a fourth son of back-country peasants.
The sun is beating against your half closed eyes, and despite all your training, all you can think of is food. You remember the burritos your mother would make before your family went out to tend the fields. You can almost taste the ingredients in your mouth. What were they?
A. Potatoes, eggs, cheese, and when we were lucky, sausage.
B. Fish, noodles, greens and beans.
C. Avocados, hot peppers, rice, beans, and chicken
D. Squash, re-fried beans, cheese, rice, and when it was a good year, ground beef.
E. We always preferred tamales.
(This will decide where you are from. Most votes in an hour wins. In case of a tie, answer with the highest d100 roll wins)
>>44271863
E. We always preferred tamales
Vegan tamales to be specific. The first four options all have meat in them, which could attract unwanted attention from inquisidores de pisi.
>>44271863
Atomicist kublai Khan when
>>44271996
(gimme a roll, just in case)
>>44272148
Fuck u Elton true emperor stink Arixian gib Vegas.
Rolled 7 (1d100)
>>44272154
>>44271863
>B. Fish, noodles, greens and beans.
>>44271996
Hey, I'm only asking, but isn't fish considered all right under the Catholic Church?
>>44272301
It's an archaic custom still practiced in the dioceses of Flyova, but it's frowned upon in the better parts of the world.
>>44272301
You aren't catholic. Also roll plz. For the Emperor and the Golden Empire.
After the fall, the whole world was thrown into chaos. Humanity had been judged unworthy by the Great Light of the Universe, and fe escaped it's wrath.
After hundreds of years, the gurus, chief among them the illustrious Haysuskristos, Buda, Huhberd and Moamed managed to to soothe the Universal Light, and show it that there was still good among humanity. To prove this, they reached down and touched the soul of Elton Yudkow, the son of a poor zapatero in Frezno. To Elton they granted the wisdom and lore of the world before the fall, and the enlightenment to understand it.
>>44272463
Is it fair to assume that the monastery of Sa'migel the Arcangel is a diverse campus that accepts people of all faiths? Can we play as an Orthodox Huberdologist?
>>44272177
Yeah but wouldn't it be great for us to be able to conspire towards the return of the true emperor? We need a false foreign emperor first for that to work
>>44272611
What are you, a racist? Don't you know there's already a diversity quota requiring all emperors to be foreign born?
>>44272463
Elton Yudkow realized that the disparate peoples of California yearned for true enlightenment. With the wisdom of Buda, he taught and converted, with the guile of Huhberd he planned and hid from those who would hurt him, with the mercy of Haysuskristos he judged and gave, and with the might of Moamed he conquered, and won.
He founded the Empire of California, establishing its capitol in the ancient city of Sacremento, the city where the rivers converge, and fought off the first invasions of the followers of the false guru Djoses Smith. When he finally passed away, California was a light in the darkness of the world. For two hundred years, the land between the Sierra Nevadas and the Pacific Ocean, from La Paz to Crescent City, stood as the beacon of civilization and stability throughout the whole known world.
>>44272530
Yes, it is. Your specific sect will be the next choice.
>>44272681
No, there's really not. After all 2 of the 8 principal gurus taught and embodied the path of the sword: Moamed and the First Emperor.
>>44272681
Californian diversity is for the peoples of the empire, and the followers of their faith. Not for cowboy tribesmen that offer up their infants to be deformed by their perverse "god"
>>44272906
Obviously, I mean the emperor must be a person of color, not one of the maggot-skinned subhumans of Flyova.
>>44272611
That could still happen. This quest begins in the reign of Emperor Elton IV, a weak, but old and wise ruler. However, his brother Mickey, the heir to the throne, is known for being a decadent know nothing, and the "Imperial Protectors" care more about consolidating their own rule in their own protectorates than fighting for the peace and unity of California. Elton the Fourth is little more than a figurehead, trapped in the golden cage that is Sacramento. It is an era of chaos, and heathen invaders are stating to take note.
>>44272681
The concept of "race" hardly exists in California. Before the fall, it was a land of many peoples. Now, it ranges from the lily whites of Jefferson, to the yellows and reds of the bayfolk, the shades of brown of the various peoples of the southern protectrates of the Valley, Socal and Baja, to the dark skinned enclave along the coasts. Californians only think in two distinctions: Californians and Extranyers (also known as Rednecks, wetbacks, flayovers or yankees), and between the different dialects of Spanglish spoken in the empire.
>>44272906
Exactly
(OOC: Ten more minute to decide) if you haven't rolled for your vote, please quote it and do so.)
>>44272994
The idea of "person of color" doesn't really exist anymore in California. Everyone is on a sliding scale of brightest white to darkest black, with most sitting in a light-brownish area. Californians judge you more by how you speak than the color of your skin.
>>44272763
The first Emperor truly did favor the old arab Moamed. Because of this, he is now revered as the second Guru of the way of the fist, bowing in deference only to Moamed himself.
Rolled 75 (1d100)
CALIFORNIAAAAAAAAAAA
>>44273306
Pls quote what you were voting for
>>44273327
Whoops! Voting for A. Always loved spicy stuff. Plus avocados are pretty healthy.
>>44272994
No no, flyova isn't even a concern. Its people are unenlightened fools, but rather tame. The arixian wetbacks, the only thing they enjoy more time doing than raiding the empire is raiding each other. Even their closest thing to a respectable profession, the great cattle drives from the ranges of former Lone Star, is mired with "rustling" even among the "legitimate" cowboys.
And the less said of their barbaric faith, the better. They care not for truth, seeking only the mythical "atomic power" of the "Invisible world of the elements." And that prove their faith not through their own actions, but by offering up their newborn children to idols of their dread gods Tsar Bomba, Little Boy and Fat Man, afflicting them with hideous deformities. Oh shed a tear for the lost sons and daughters of pious Cali women, stolen away in their raids!
>>44273360
You must mean C. A is potatoes and eggs. Either way, you win. E tied with you and only got a 7, and so did B, but they failed to roll.
>>44273468
So what are we? I want to know if way of the fist, driven to such a martial sect because of a sister kidnapped in an atomicist raid is an appropriate backstory for our location.
You are one of the Angeleños. The people of Socal are far and wide known for their business acumen and sly, cunning ways. At the same time, Socal is the protectorate where the nobles are richest but the peasants are poorest. Nowhere else in the empire do you see such gaudy displays of wealth and avarice. You grew up among the impoverished peasants of the Mojave. You remember well when your sister was carried off by the Arixian worshippers of the Atom, and you can still vividly see the burning of a Mormon missionary in the public square.
You are trying to discern true enlightenment. What voices cry out loudest in your head?
( The winner will decide the main sect you follow, whatever comes second will decide where your other sympathies lie:)
>>44273908
A. "The Hour will not be established until you fight with the unenlightened, and the stone behind which an unenlightened one is hiding will say. "O Brother! The Unenlightened is hiding behind me, so kill him.""
B: "Now, then, followers, Understand: All falsehood subject to decay. Bring about truth by being knowledgeable."
C: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."
D: "Living is a grim joke, but a joke just the same. The entire function of mankind is to survive."
E: "Rocks and water are words of the Eternal Light and so are men. We all flow from one gushing Soul. All are expressions of one Love. The Universe does not appear, and flow out, only from narrow crevices and round wells here and there in favored colors and places, but it flows in grand undivided currents, shoreless and boundless over creeds and forms and all kinds of civilizations and peoples and beasts, saturating all and nourishing all."
F: "The taint of darkness is the point in time when an ordinary, normal person first crosses the boundary between good and evil to engage in an evil action."
G: "You nobles, you sons of my leading men, soft and dandified, trusting in your birth and your wealth, paying no attention to my command and your advancement, you neglected the pursuit of learning and indulged yourselves in the sport of pleasure and idleness and foolish pastimes. By the King of the heavens I think nothing of your nobility and your beauty. Others can admire you. Know this without any doubt; unless you rapidly make up for your idleness by eager effort, you will never receive any benefit from the Light of the Universe."
H: "I am not bothered when I do not understand. I am bothered when I do not understand others."
>>44273932
Is one of those a Huhberdologist option?
>>44273973
Two, in fact. whichever quote gets the most votes by 8:25 PST will decide your sect. I'll allow two votes per post. Runner up will be where you character's sympathy lies
Rolled 3 (1d100)
>>44274031
I'd like to know which ones they are. I'm guessing that F is the one of them, so I'll vote for that.
>>44273932
* H should read: "I am not bothered when I am not understood... ect"
>>44274068
You don't get to know till you vote. You have one more choice to add to that if you so wish.
>>44273932
>E: "Rocks and water are words of the Eternal Light and so are men. We all flow from one gushing Soul. All are expressions of one Love. The Universe does not appear, and flow out, only from narrow crevices and round wells here and there in favored colors and places, but it flows in grand undivided currents, shoreless and boundless over creeds and forms and all kinds of civilizations and peoples and beasts, saturating all and nourishing all."
(Just as a heads up, the four sects are:
The way of the Dove, who strive towards peace and compassion for the poor
The way of the Fist, who fight to defend the empire from its heathen enemies
The way of the Cowl, who know that there are some secrets too dark for the common man
The way of the Book, who believe that learning and knowledge will guide mankind to enlightenment.
>>44274525
That was me, Emperor Norton, had to restart the computer and forgot to put my trip back up
>>44274547
....and trip didn't work. trying again.
Lo siento. I'm usually not a tripfag, this is the first time in like five years I've used one.
>>44273932
>>C: "Blessed are the merciful, for they will be shown mercy."
Someone's been playing After the End.
Proceed.
>>44274939
Of course. I give all praise to the great lord Ofaloaf. Please, join in if you want.
>>44274068
Time's up, so I win by default.
My choices are F and B.
>>44275078
Way of the Cowl (quotes from L. Ron Hubbard and and Philip Zimbardo, choices F and D) comes in tied with Way of the Dove (quotes from Jesus Christ and John Muir, choices C and E)
Since Way of the Cowl is the only one who posted a roll, congrats, you win.
>>44275236
"A man's sentiments are generally just and right, while it is second selfish thought which makes him trim and adopt some other view. The best reforms are worked out when sentiment operates, as it does in women, with the indignation of righteousness."
You remember the raid on your village by the foul wetback worshipers of the atom. You also remember the time of hunger that came after it. The local magistrate was holding the food collected by the peasants back, and hosting great orgies and feasts for his friends. Only one man dared to stand against him. Gabriel Garzo Martinez, a local priest, unveiled the debauchery going on in the magistrates mansion. Few beleived him, and the Magistrate had him hung as a secret follower of Djosef Smith soon after. However, as he was dying, his last words gave out the locations of the magistrate's secret store You were but a child, but you marched with the people to the location given, which turned up great quantities of wine, food, and luxuries, befitting only of the emperor himself. The populace revolted, and many of the magistrate's soldiers with them, when they saw the decadence they were starving to support. The magistrate was burned alive, along with many of his supporters, and you were the first to light the pyre. It was then that you realized that those who know secrets, and keep them till the right moment, may be the most holy of people.
The Guru who taught you, a thin, short, brown man, Harivand Singh, enters the sanctuary.
"My son, your meditations are over. Now is the time for your pilgrimage to start."
He leads you outside, where a loaded donkey is waiting for you.
"Remember, you must meditate at the shrines of Yosemite, San Fransisco, Holiwood, and Sandiago, and visit the Emperor in Sacramento to receive the blessing of heaven."
Where will you head?
A. Straight to Sacramento, to receive the blessing.
B. To Holiwood, to meditate among the stars, the passed souls of the old world.
C. To San Francisco, the site of the great libraries and the gateway of the west.
D. To Sandiago, from whence the proud treasure ships once sailed, bringing glory to the emperor.
E. To Yosemite, to be at peace among nature.
F. Somewhere else. Guru Hubbard didn't wait for permission or ordination to spread the true word to heathens, why should you?
>>44275565
As an adult, I have come to regret the rabble-rousing class warfare I committed as a child. My understanding of the Way of the Cowl has deepened. I have come to appreciate that a real Huhberdologist spurns the rabble and teaches his secrets to the rich and famous.
Rolled 73 (1d100)
>>44275881
B. To Holiwood, to meditate among the stars, the passed souls of the old world.
>>44275889
I like this. Hubbard would be proud. But where do you go?
>>44275916
Vote, and roll, good job.
Rolled 13 (1d100)
>>44275881
San Fran, Man.
That cruel joke Hubbard quote is actually pretty cool, in full. Never thought that fuck would have anythig interesting to say.
>>44274525
I'm fine with the last three.
>>44275889
After all, the poor are bad at keeping secrets. You know this, since you grew up among them. The rich are more discrete, and know how to give out knowledge when and where it is needed, and to withhold it when it would cause strife. The ivory tower followers of Gurus Kongzi and Buda would teach the whole world everything. But then who would till the fields? If every man was a sage, then who would feed the sages? No, you follow lords Hubbard and Machiavelli. You know that what may hurt in the short term will heal in the long, and that a well guarded secret is more precious than gold..
>>44275916
>>44275978
((So far we have one vote for Holiwood, one for San Fransisco. Any more votes? I'm going till 10:00 pst))
Rolled 1 (1d2)
>>44276097
Let's let chance decide
1-Holiwood
2-San Franistan
>>44273932
>>44275978
He's the sources for the quotes:
A. is Mohammed (Fist)
B. is Buddha (Book)
C. is Jesus (Dove)
D. is Hubbard (Cowl)
E. is John Muir (Dove)
F. is Philip Zimbardo (Cowl)
G. is Charlemagne (Fist)
H. is Confucius (Book)
Holiwood currently has a 1 point lead on San Francisco. Socal vs. Norcal. Vote bitches. Otherwise shit will be hella awk if we only get three votes.
Btw. I'm doing this vote differently. If you tie, you're going to attempt to bring the Philippines into the Cetic fold. If you want to be stuck in a chain of islands where they kill each-other over differing interpretations of the song "My Way" by Frank Sinatra, don't vote.
https://youtu.be/6E2hYDIFDIU
>>44276692
Welp. You tied. I'm giving this ten more minutes, otherwise, get ready to get on a fucking boat.
So. Last vote post was four seconds past the deadline. Is the universe a lenient place, or a harsh one? Do you favor safety and predictabilit in a fantasy world, or risk, loss, and reward in a real one?
Ten minutes, those two choices. no votes = worst of both worlds.
>>44276896
I don't know man I'm just a fucking dog.
>>44276995
Then get your dog mind working. Do you want easy bitches, or hard won treats?
>>44277006
Hard all the way
So, Congrats. You were "randomly selected" to send the good word of the Emperor across the great sea. Father Singh hands you an envelope.
Look for Captain Muriel in Monterrey. He will give you passage to Hawai'i. When you arrive in Honolulu, seek out Captain Nguyen, who will give you passage to Cebu. You must be in Monterrey by July Seventh, and Honolulu by August First." He hands you a worn copy of Dianetics. "Keep Hubbard and the gurus close to your heart, and let the eternal light shine through you."
Father Singh returns to his prayers.
You are in the courtyard of the temple of Sa'migel the Arcangel. There is a donkey loaded with provisions for your journey.
What do you do?
>>44277144
Fuck.
Check the provisions on the donkey. Ask around if anyone wants to join you on your journey, then head to Monterrey
How common is literacy?
>>44277215
>Check provisions on the donkey
There are a week's worth of provisions on the donkey. More than enough for one person just over one hundred miles.
>Ask around
You ask around, and the only people willing to accompany you across the sea are brother Shwaig and brother Djamez, who graduated with you. A zealot of the way of the Dove, Shwaig eats no meat or animal products, and carries no possessions other than those necessary for survival. You remember carrying him to the apothecary after an eight week hunger strike in your second year in the monastery, in protest of some obscure law passed by prefect Walter Parc of Salinas. He is exceedingly popular among the poor, but lacks any tact for dealing with the gentry.
Djamez is in many ways the opposite of Shwaig. He is a boisterous follower of Moamed and Elton I, and yearns to bring the true wat to the heathens, be it by knocking their heads in or loudly yelling on a street corner. He possesses an old world firearm, but has sworn only to use it in defense of the faith, which is just as well, since he posseses only five "bulitts" to load it with.
>How common is literacy.
Uncommon, but not unheard of. Most peasants can sign their name and read simple, phonetic words, but no more. Most of the nobility is highly literate, and skilled in reading the classics. The trading and crafting classes usually know just enough to do their job, and can read prose slowly, but functionally. As a monk, you are fully literate in your own speech (Angeleno Spanglish, or simply Angeleno) and the old tounges of English and Español.
>>44277513
Shwaig seems like a ponce but might be useful around the filthy plebeians. Take both, and let's head off.
Are any other players around here? Single-player questing is demoralizing for QMs. Show yourselves.
>>44277513
>>44277560
Ask Shwaig why he doesn't eat meat.
>>44277560
>Take both.
That you do. They glare at each-other suspiciously, but both agree to join you. Djamez and Shwaig head back to their rooms to gather their things, and Shwaig predictably returns first, with nothing but a blanket and a satchel of potatoes and greens. You've never understood his philosophy, so you
>>44277569
>Ask Shwaig why he doesn't eat meat.
"Simple" he replies. "Who knows what any of us will be incarnated as next? We all hope to escape the cycle of rebirth, but what if we stumble, or fall away? Who is to say an animal I eat is not another incarnation of myself? Even then, it does not matter, for all the gurus taught against harming an innocent soul."
>>44277560
>Single-player questing is demoralizing for QMs. Show yourselves.
pls pls pls. Join in folks.
>>44277724
Where is our overseas destination?
When does our vessel leave?
>>44277724
So uh, check inventory. Maybe we can remind ourselves of the precepts of our own religion, so we know.
And let's head off on the journey once we're ready.
>>44277754
Your final destination is Cebu City, or Dakayan s'Subu. A recent mission of the Cetic faith. You leave from Monterrey on July Seventh.. Today is June 30th.
>>44277792
The precepts are pretty simple:
"Honor the teachings of the Gurus (in your case especially those of Hubbard, Machiavelli, and Han Fey.) and revere the emperor and abstain from excess."
"Treat all men as befits their station, neither be overly cruel to those who serve under you, nor flatter and bow to those over you, but show proper respect and authority."
"Always err on the side of justice"
"Remember your ancestors and the gurus when you pray nightly, for they keep watch over your soul"
"Strive to escape the cycle of rebirth through virtue"
>>44277792
Inventory is Seven days worth of food. 17 golden dollars, the "Condensed Sayings of the Sages", two dark blue robes, as fits your sect, a sun-hat, a dagger for self defense, "The Expanded Imperial Sayings of the Sages" a spyglass, and the copy of Hubbard's writing "Dianetics".
It's neat and interesting, but quests aren't my thing OP. And I'm busy. I'll be skimming the thread after the fact though, I'm a sucker for post-apocalyptic California. And the religion you seem to have cobbled together here entertains me greatly.
Who are the wetback worshipers of the atom?
By the way is coffee a thing in this setting?
>>44278057
Traditionally, 'wetback' is a slur for Mexicans, I think. So I assume some heathen cult from the far south. Or not-so-distant south.
>>44278057
Filthy, dirty Arixians from Phoenix and Sonora and Albuquerque. Instead of following the truth of the Gurus, or even the half truths of the mormonds, sagrados, or gaians, they worship the force of the atom, a strange and cryptic demon of the old world, the destroyer of life. Their priests and kings go to Atom's shrines, and their bones weaken from sickness and their minds go mad from possession, and hey call these sicknesses "blessings", and then wonder why their children are stillborn and the cancer eats away at their bones. They are followers of darkness my son. Do not bend to their ways.
>>44278088
Yes. Besides the glorious Hawaiian Guards of the Emperor, this is the main thing the King of the Isles of Hawai'i sends to the mainland. More is gained from further south, in the lands of the Sagrados and the demon worshiping Mexica, but every lord drinks Kafé, and buys lower grades of it for his peasants, to help them arise for work early.
The peasants drink the brew straight, and it is usually provided to them by their masters, while the lords drink it mixed with shokladle and, if they are truly grand, asukar, from the Karibian Isles.
>>44278272
Fuck, accidentally dropped trip again. That was me ya'll.
>>44278329
OP, just a mild bit of advice; Always update the scene when you post something. Give the players something new to sink their teeth into, every time. Otherwise they just sit waiting for something to happen.
Keep it moving, basically.
>>44278272
Good. We will be needing it in our inventory. Really hope Shwaig doesn't consider the beans innocent. Has he ever been around chickens? I know they're biding their time. Behind seemingly dull eyes is a true, cunning malevolence. Consider slaughter and preparation of flesh a preemptive measure.
>>44278415
Gracias Señor.
The flies buzz around your head, and the hot summer sun pours down on you. Djamez comes out of the living quarters with a full backpack, a bladed spear he is using as a walking stick, and a short sword strapped to his back. It may not be much, but in comparison to the small satchel and staff of Shwaig, it seems like he is ready for anything. In his hand you see a copy of Guru Sunzi's "Art of War
>>44278465
Shwaig eats beans regularly. Besides rice and corn, they are the staples of the Californian diet.
Nearly 80% of the followers of the Dove follow some sort of vegitarianism. Among the lower classes, this simply consists of abstaining from red meat., while in the land around mount Shasta, the famous Shastan Brothers of Krist regularly inspect their greens to make sure the do not consume the smallest insect, instead cutting off even a leaf of mustard to feed the aphids that grown on it. Shwaig is slightly on the more ascetic side, and refuses to eat any creatures or creature products (eg, eggs, milk, cheese)
Anyway, it's late, and unfortunately Norton is a shitty sonofabitch who has to sleep sometime, and work in the morning. If this tread is still here tomorrow I'll continue on it, if not, I'll start a new one. May the Emperor bless you.
