>Turning out the brigand's pockets, you find a few copper coins, a pair of wooden dice, and a small, perfectly round rock.
They spent the next hour figuring out if the rock is magical. Eventually one of them swallowed it just to see what would happen, and another player sliced his belly open to get it back. The group devolved into in-game fighting, then ooc arguing, very loud racial insults were exchanged, and we're now banned from the FLGS.
I love fucking with my players.
>>44225148
Sounds like a bunch of top notch players you've got there, what kind of magic did it actually possess?
>>44226454
Madness aura, clearly.
>>44226454
Nothing. I just like including worthless loot items to make the world more believable.
>>44226598
>small, perfectly round rock
We can't even make that IRL with the technology we have so it's gotta be s pretty expensive object imo; probably a very potent magical component despite being mundane.
it's actually uranium
>>44226748
yeah but you could probably pick something like that up in acheron or one of the more orderly planes. It's fairly easy to find perfect platonic shapes if merchants can directly visit a plane of platonic ideals with a bag of holding.
>>44226748
The perfection of the roundness may have been slightly exaggerated.
>>44226748
>small perfectly round rock
>impossibru
Shit, that makes playing billiards a tad more difficult doesn't it?
>>44227068
billard balls aren't rocks you mouth breather
>>44226598
I love doing things like this. I even have entire charts with that worthless loot is included. After more than 10 years of running one of my players is totally convinced that this chart has some insane magical item in the 100% slot on the chart. There isn't.
>>44227119
What are they made of anyway?
>>44227149
Share?
>>44227149
Post it, bitch.
>>44227230
that shit is written down in the margins of a book somewhere.
I'll see what I can get from memory.
As an aside when I turn to a page with some notes or a chart in one of the books and another player has that book, its always fun to see the look on their face when they flip to that page and realize what's happening.
>>44225148
Ahh, head of vecna syndrome. People never change, do they?
>>44227180
According to fallout 4, 2 pounds of plastic.
>>44227068
Billards balls aren't perfectly round.
Even this isn't perfectly round: http://www.acpo.csiro.au/avogadro.htm
>>44227180
Plastic resin normally.
Wood is rarer nowadays but it used to be the sole material used.
>>44227789
Jesus, I'll never say that anything is a perfect square around you. You'll probably complain is has thickness and isn't purely 2 dimensional and largely theoretical.
>>44227905
Don't use the word "perfect" to describe something that isn't perfect then.
>>44227956
Nigga nothing's perfect. If we were being perfectly true to the word perfect, we may as well throw it out because nothing's perfect. Same with the word black, only literally nothing is black, what we would call black is usually just a really dark grey. Hell, fuck the term black person. And white person. Fuck you, piece of shit. I bet you're the kind of 12 year old that must correct the use of the words 'whom' and 'who' because you just discovered the difference.
>>44228104
You're a perfect example of a moron.
>>44228180
And you're a perfect twat. Hurry now to make yourself an ISO standard.
>>44228180
You're the perfect example of a cunt.
Less bitching more tables of loot imo.
This reminds me of the time everyone killed each other because there was only one chair available to sit on.
Actually this happens all the time.
>>44225148
>I make up stories on /tg/ instead of actually playing games
>>44226748
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZMByI4s-D-Y
>implying
No wonder they fought over that thing. It looks like a magical item, and even if it's not actually an artifact it probably costs a lot as a piece of jewelry.
>>44225148
>>44228210
>>44228203
>>44228180
You're all perfect examples of retardation.
>>44228251
This guy has the right idea.
>>44228275
Does it ever occur to tell them that the floor is not made of anti-ass materials? Or that standing is a thing?
Also, seems my phone picked up a banned IP for five seconds
>>44228574
Honestly why not just squat. Hell i'd provide the track suits just for the comical effect if they'd just cooperate.i'm the dm i get the big boy seat. Whiners can file all complaints to my size 18 quadruple E boots
>>44225148
Were you playing with goblins, by chance?
>>44228251
I have one of those.
>>44225148
this is fun, I actually do like this, adding just random junk to NPC pockets, or have treasure hoards comprised mostly of trade goods rather than just coins makes the setting feel more like a living, breathing world, (and as an aside it's sometimes fun seeing players put their heads together to figure out how to carry their loot out of the dungeon since a treasure of trade goods is also notably heavier and bulkier than coins).
though I've seen the opposite done, to screw with the players the GM would have certain books and tomes (especially plot-important ones) have cards from the deck of many things shoved between the pages as bookmarks, so that when the PC removed the "bookmark"because the GM would then be careful to describe it in such a way as to make the player think it was an ordinary bookmarkit would activate the card as though the PC drew from the deck. He got the idea from another player who was usually the GM in the past, and after seeing this happen to another playerI believe he drew a good card that time, but I know enough about the deck to know it's a risk not worth takingI made sure that any bookmark found in a book was left untouched, or would have my PC flip all books open so any bookmarks would fall out via gravity.
Point is I always thought it was an obvious booby-trap meant solely to screw with the players (because its one thing to give a party a deck of many things, but whole different thing altogether to trick players into drawing from a deck without their knowing) and I always respected him less for doing it.
>DM introduces us to a nothic
>barbarian wants its ear
>evening devolves into shitflinging over nothic having an ear or not, the DM not saying anything until we all ragequit
So do these fucking things have ears or not?
>>44228804
Who pulls out bookmarks from closed books? You'll never know what is was bookmarking
>>44225148
I was once in a party that spent like an hour and a half real time in a curio shop. We'd roll off the trinket table and the DM would give these cool stories about each trinket. We had to force ourselves to leave because otherwise we would've spent the whole session there.
>>44228884
It usually plays out as:
>finds book with page bookmarked
>opens book to bookmarked page
>removes bookmark to read text (because that's what anyone would normally do)
>DM: OH HO! that was a card from the deck of many things! *makes player either roll or draw a card at random to see what he drew*
>>44228884
The Bookmark Goblin. He goes through houses, castles and towers to steal bookmarks and move tomes, forever reading progress and confusing even the most cunning of magi.
Every time a wizard studies to regain his daily spells, there's a 5% chance that the Bookmark Goblin will strike and halve the effectiveness of the oblivious caster's daily trip to booktown.
>>44227180
Originally ivory. Plastic was invented as a substitute when ivory started to get rare.
>>44228953
>>44229210 I prefer this answer
>>44227956
>2015
>Being this autistic
>>44228804
>since a treasure of trade goods is also notably heavier and bulkier than coins
Depends entirely on the goods. A bag of pepper is worth more than its weight in gold, and an ornate silver dagger is more valuable than the plain metal it was made from.
My loot is easier, I ask what my players are trying to gather. Animal parts, bones, clothes, weapons, all with relevant rolls and checks.
>>44229337
eh fair enough, but on that same token a barrel of expensive wine, a bolt of silk, or, hell, even an anvil is going to fetch a nice bit of gold but is going to be a BITCH to get back to town.
>>44229356
This. If the alchemist needs herbs, herbs will be pointed out in the dragons lair, but otherwise they aren't worth mentioning.
>>44229526
Nah I tell them their environments and if they want to look for herbs, they can go wild. If they want to harvest parts from the beast go for it.
It isn't my job to tell them a detailed list of what they were carrying, they should ask. Only time a list is needed is if it is a chest situation. And if I get bored it is now a mimic situation.
>>44226782
>I am the strielok
>>44226782
once planned on having a nine ring broadsword forged from uranium (giving it the same properties as if it were made from viridium) (also, lead sheath included) thrown in with some dungeon loot, to give the party's monk something interesting (and level appropriate) to play with. I opted not to on the grounds that for reasons I never understood the monk refused to use any item given to them or carry anything on their person beyond a pair of cestus. wouldn't even carry their own gold.
So I opted instead to instead include a clockwork lock-picker for the entire party to use (because with a party consisting of a ranger, a paladin, a monk, and an illusionist, locked doors were going to quickly become unfair obstacles)
>>44229767
>thinking of giving a sword
>to an unarmed brawler
why
>>44229817
the 9-ring broadsword is a monk weapon, they can still use it to perform monk feats/abilities
>>44229903
It's about theme nigga. He's already gimping himself by punching things when he could just use a short sword or some shit. Clearly he wants to keep punching things
>>44229972
look, cut me some slack, I was still new to DMing back then and was stuck on what to include in a treasure pile that would appeal to the monk.
>>44225148
OP, I am proud. First the party, now /tg/.
All Hail the Stone of Hatred.
>>44230868
All Hail the Stone of Hatred
>>44227744
Kek'd then checked
Did this once with a madman and a book of odd repeating patterns and shapes. They spent the ENTIRE SESSION on and off trying to decipher it, see if they could find someone who knew about it, figure out the patter, ect.
It was literally just a book that a crazy guy drew in, no more no less
>>44228946
Like Ysgramor's soup spoon?
>>44225148
Why didn't you tell them it was a normal godamn rock. Most people won't do shit like this if they find a really smooth rock in a dead guys coat. They metagamed so hard they self destructed, and you could have prevented this.
>>44237246
Some DMs just want to watch the world burn.
>>44227956
I know the word gets thrown around inappropriately a lot here, but I think you might have actual legit autism spectrum disorder.
You're literally acting like Sheldon here. You do realize that, right?
>>44237767
I imagine a lot of these cunts are foreign and don't understand the idiosyncrasies and semantics of english among its native speakers.
>>44225148
Was the rock green and glowing perhaps?
So... No mundane loot tables?
>>44241008
No mundane loot tables.
Meta loot tables though..
1) See table 23.7
2) See table 1.64
3) See table 3.14
4) See table index
5) Reroll on this table
6) See table 95.12 (Book 3, Appendix 4.2)
>>44237246
It almost certainly didn't actually happen.
>>44241617
You keep saying that. Does anything happen around here, or is everyone too busy making up stories to actually play games?
>>44242135
But anon, don't you see /tg/ is actually just one large meta experiment in roleplaying.
Rolled 12 + 4 (1d20 + 4)
>>44242323
It's all just a freeform role-play of several rule system games? My god.
It may be too late to leave. I can only hope I will pass my will saves and escape this unholy place.
