Swords with names are cool except when unaccomplished losers and douchebags namings their swords to make themselves look cooler, which is just lame for everyone.
As such, naming protocols have been put into place to prevent this from happening. All swords are as a default considered nameless. They can only receive a name after they've been proven in battle. Once they've served their master well killing either five bandits, three enemy peasant levies or one armored knight (or analog in the case of non knight using cultures) in the heat of battle a name may be submitted to the Sword Name's Commission (SNC) in which after verification of these deeds the sword can be named and both name and sword will be formally recorded. Once a name that is not currently held by another sword is submitted and approved, a formal document shall be issued confirming the sword's name and it's owner upon issuing.
>>44080876
How do they verify it?
>>44080876
>All swords are as a default considered nameless.
If a blacksmith uses something special to make a sword, is he not allowed to name it?
>>44081212
Like Balmung from Nibelungenlied ?
>>44081088
Documents of Certification and SNC marks.
>>44080876
>>44080876
>unaccomplished losers and douchebags namings their swords to make themselves look cooler, which is just lame for everyone.
Yeah, no. It just makes those guys in particular an even bigger laughing stock to fucking everyone.
Keep your bullshit, authoritarian dictates out of harmless word games.
>>44082459
That's exactly what he said though...
>>44082482
Fools shouldn't be allowed to make bigger fools of themselves, because it somehow detracts from the the non-fools? And because of this, submit to our boring dictation and tedious paperwork?
It smells like shit, and I don't buy it for one second.
If a sword had a name, it was already special.
A sword shouldn't gain a name based on the wielders accomplishments, since it's not really the sword that is the cause of this.
I'm stealing that, OP. Sounds like fun.
>>44080876
>Swords with names are cool
Cunt detected
>>44080876
>As such, naming protocols have been put into place to prevent this from happening. All swords are as a default considered nameless. They can only receive a name after they've been proven in battle.
Usually they're named by their makers, not their eventual users. Not in Norse or Irish... or in any other tradition I can think of.
>>44080876
And then a wizard found the whole thing annoying and set up a worldwide spell where swords, after doing a great enough deed or forged by a true master, named themselves. The name flaring up in silvery runes on the blade.
He then went back to sleep, mutting something unrepeatable about Martials.
>>44080876
Do robber barons count as bandits or knights? What about bourgeois soldiers?
A sword should never be named by the one who wields it.
Only by those who taste it.
>>44082764
>And then a wizard
BURNED AT THE STAKE FOR HIS BLASPHEMOUS WITCHCRAFT.
There. I've corrected your post for you.
>>44082605
You're a big chicken eater.
>>44082799
I imagine then there's lots of swords named "AAAAAARGH" or "OH GOD NOT THE FACE" then.
>>44082819
>>44082764
He REALLY didn't like swords though, so they all name themselves some mixture of profanity, jokes about the wielders endowments, or unprounounceable syllables.
Unfortunately the swords are also a bit touchy about their names and tend to function better if you shout their names like a cliche anime character.
>>44080876
I would call my sword something different based on how I felt at the time. It would just default to sword normally.
What if I name it Sword?
>>44082896
Actually, it turns out swords are just dick-joke obsessed twats.The wizard didn't even need to modify the spell. The swords did it all on their own.
>>44082942
Then its just like if you name your dog Dog. They're completely unremarkable and a little offput you didn't put more thought into it. Still loyal to a fault though
>>44082972
You wouldn't say dog the dog was unremarkable if he was big as a normal person and could crush bones.
>>44082995
No but any dog named Dog is doomed to be unremarkable aside from his loyalty and love for his master.
All those who try to escape from this actually have a secret True Name their master never discovered.
>>44083019
Thats dumb, your name doesn't make you cool.
My scimitar is sentient and can speak, is it allowed to name itself or does the SNC have to approve that too?
>>44083019
Unremarkable, maybe.
But what if it's the definitive sword? Not just a sword, but THE sword.
>>44080876
I don't know about sword names but I have a small ship piloted by homosexuals, granny's, incestuals, and other deviants. I call it the Freudian Slip
>>44082859
was leaving maximum hype part of your master plan?
>>44083036
I don't know. Dave the BBEG never really felt like a credible threat. Nor did Steve the master of the arcane arts.
Now, Stephanie, the knower of all, was competent, but no one really took the rumors seriously until quite late.
To be fair neither was Ichnal'kahbabaerll. Unpronounceable is just as bad as regular here. You want to go with short and sweet but not too common.
>>44083079
SNC can approve name, but you must allow the scimitar to choose its pronouns
>>44082799
>A sword should never be named by the one who wields it.
>Only by those who taste it.
The names which result would be amazing, since like 90% of them would be insults from people who were just stabbed to death.
>This-Guy-Fucks-Kids
>The-Wielder-Of-This-Sword-Is-A-Team-Killing-Faggot
>This-Honorless-Peasant-Killed-Me-In-My-Sleep
>Shove-This-Up-My-Ass
>Pelor4Lyfe-Gruumsh-Can-Eat-Shit
>Thrust-But-Hole
>This-Is-The-BBEG-Please-Kill-Him
You'd want to be on your best behavior when using your best weapons, since being a dick to your enemies will likely result in them giving your weapon a shitty or insulting name.
>>44083080
Well then we're talking about concepts of things. I don't think it would even have a name. "The Sword" or "Sword" isn't really its name so much as what people call it. Names are tricky things, especially when you start getting magic in the mix.
>>44083138
You say steve isn't cool but then he drops meteors on your city. Whos cool then when your house is on fire and hes sitting in his castle getting blowjobs from sexy spirits.
>>44080876
In an Earthdawn campaign, our Troubadour keeps getting the most insane dice explosions ever. He's wound up delivering the killing blows for two or three of these really tough dragon-shaped stone golems. It's ridiculous how much damage he does despite not being a combat class at all. After all that shit, i suggested he just go ahead and name his sword "Stonecleaver", because god damn does it deserve it.
>>44083168
This forces men to be honorable and chivalrous or suffer humiliating names. I see nothing wrong with this.
>>44082552
What if the user wants to name it for being so reliable?
>>44083168
>>44083199
I dont know, I think people would quickly find out naming the super evil mass murderer's sword something retarded would find himself getting stabbed in short order.
>>44083080
>"Prepare yourselves foul heathens, for i wield the SWORD!"
>"So do we!"
>"No i mean "THE" Sword"
>"Do you mean thats the only sword in existence."
>"YES! wait no!
>"What are we carrying then? Replicas, imitations?"
>"Yes those are all fake!"
>"But if all this is made to copy that. Does that mean we are also using "the" sword."
>"NO! There is only one sword!"
>"That's really condescending"
>>44083138
>Dave the BBEG never really felt like a credible threat
How about Dave, the guy who one-shotted Goliath? Or Sam, the guy who killed ten thousand people with a goddamn jawbone?
The name doesn't make the man. The man makes the name.
>>44083244
They should have all just thrown sonic booms at him.
>>44083181
Not Steve. No one takes Steve seriously. Steve isn't cool. Just because he's blowing shit up doesn't make him cool, just powerful.
>>44083280
I think if a dude is standing there in big badass armour talking mad shit in his cool booming voice while he makes you all look like pussies by tearing reality a new asshole making fun of his name is dumb. Most of the cool people in history have normal names.
>>44083228
>naming the super evil mass murderer's sword something retarded would find himself getting stabbed in short order.
The people naming the sword already got stabbed by him, so they probably don't like him much, and don't have much to lose. That and spite are kind of why they'd leave shitty names in the first place.
>>44083244
>that face in the last panel
Someone make a face washing meme out of it
>>44083376
No one would name the thing that fucked them up something stupid. They dont want to go to the bar and hear the story of how ron the mad stabbed them in the gut with the cock gobbler. They want to name it the best thing ever.
>>44083398
Cock Gobbler 9000 then.
>>44083410
Nah man you want to give it a proper name. Its like if someone kicks your ass in a competition you dont want them to loose in the next match you want them to win the whole thing so you can say at least you got beat by the beast guy around.
>>44083437
Nah man, a guy beats me I want that fucker to crash and burn.
You underestimate the power of sheer spite.
>>44083505
But making him look lake a bitch makes you look like a bitches bitch. A double bitch if you will.
>>44080876
Just saying, a wielder should never name their own sword. The smith could come up with a name, more like a "pet name", or the name should be given by others depending on the deeds it was involved in.
>>44083522
I don't care. The fucker who best me is fucked over.
That is spite. You just want others to burn.
>>44082995
This is my dog. At 160 pounds, he's the size of a normal person. He can and does crush bones.
>>44083621
You say that now in the heat of the moment but then for the rest of your life you regret it because it fucks you over more than him.
>>44083632
D'awwww, who's a gods wittle bone crusher? You are!
>>44083632
I wouldn't step to him.
One of the antagonists of a Fallout game had a unique bumper sword called Schadelspalter. It took me awhile to "get it", but I thought it was cool since she wore a hewn deathclaw skull on her head. Worth noting that she didn't name the weapon, people just came to know her by it from stories and rumors.
>>44083675
Getting names from stories I can understand but how did random americans come up with a german name?
>>44083656
Nah. That's you. I'm gonna do me.
While its not a sword
I think Godspilter is the coolest fucking name for a weapon ever.
With God Breaker, a crow bar used to kill a god in some D&D story I read a while back, is a close second.
>>44083632
Your dog weighs 30 pounds more than I do.
I always thought Barbarisater is a cool name for a sword. Does anyone know if it means anything?
>>44083736
Red something?
>>44083632
Name?
>>44083747
Sherman
>>44083697
It was actually the surname of her Vault name, relating to the experiment. She later ended up adopting tribal culture and name once in the wasteland, but before that the few people close to her used her proper name in which time she killed the deathclaw and the stories began to spread. Eventually her original identity became ascribed to the weapon, while she ended up dropping it herself in favor of her tribal identity.
I guess in that sense, it's just coincidence that she killed it by chopping it in the head.
>>44083703
Godsplitter/Godbreaker/Godfucker or any permutation thereof is a 14yrold edgelord's first "Cool Weapon" drawn in the margin of their fucking english homework. Though, from the content of your image, it makes sense you'd like it.
I don't care how much shit gets flung at me for saying this:Space Marine pauldron have always looked, and will always look, absolutely retarded. Especially compared to their teeny tiny heads. Combining this with the absolute seriousness it affects makes 40k pretty much my least favorite thing on this board, if not the 4chan as a whole.
>>44083858
Im sure its been said but 40K basically started off as a parody. Also they apparent lower or raise with hydraulics or something as he tries to look at stuff.
>>44083903
If it was still a parody I'd be fine with it, but 40k and it's fans take that shit so super fucking seriously that it makes me cringe. I knew a guy in university that fucking lived and breathed that shit. It shouldn't be possible for you to feel physical pain from sheer embarrassment on someone else's behalf.
>>44083858
Since when is 40k super serious?
>>44083981
>It shouldn't be possible for you to feel physical pain from sheer embarrassment on someone else's behalf.
Are you mad? There are probably over a million videos that are just that. Never mind that everyone knows at least one person like that.
Heard you guys were talking about naming swords
>>44083775
Weak.
You should named him:
Bone crusher, Fur Mat, Slobber-jowl, Droop-face, Big-pooper or Dog-Bark.
>>44083858
How bout a sword named "Blade of the Fantabulous Flamboyant Unicorn Rider".
>>44084103
Half the time I just call him Big Dog. He likes that.
>>44084103
None of those are tank names.
>>44084140
Ok how bout this:
Big-lug, Meat chunk, Dank mutt, Tackle-head or Bob.
I once had a character in a Black Crusade game that used a rotary autocannon that fired shells blessed by the party's Dark Apostle. He named it Soulgrinder, which is admittedly a name already taken by the Daemon engine, but I thought it was way too perfect a name for the dread device.
>>44084124
Its okay, i used to have a pet chicken named Birdie. She does tricks.
>>44084200
No I mean none of those are things actual tanks were called.
>>44084226
Big-Bertha? I dont know much about tank naming. Though i heard military tank men are really creative when naming their tanks.
>>44084296
No I mean he already has the name of an actual type of tank, the M4 sherman.
>>44083244
Is that from Luther Strode?
The blade my character used was named Sunder.
He wasn't the one who named it. Hell, he didn't even know it had a name til about halfway through the game.
>>44086170
I have one char who named his blade "Balefire." In the interest of Karmic balance, the blade gave the char his nickname: "Spike 'Names His Cutlery' Wulfjager."
Both seem reasonably content with the arrangement.
>>44083244
you magnificent bastard
>>44082819
Bump
>>44082567
it's old pasta. Not often posted pasta, but I saw this thread three or four times in the past two years.
Introducing the ''holy sword'' Chunchunmaru.
Beware your party wizard with a weird naming sense.
>>44083632
exactly, my dog doesn't even weigh half his weight and still crushes bones, its part of what their jaws and teeth were evolved to do.
>>44082972
Ah, the dog in our party's called Crumpet. He was named by the Fighter's mum when he first got the puppy, then grew into being our party tank and tripmonster.
>>44083598
Yes, it would be far more sensible that a normal weapon is identified by its creator.
Like an artisan leaving his signature on a work, a swordsmith may put his personal engraving on the tang of each of his blades or people just recognize a unique visual trait given to all of his weapons. Two folks bump into each other and notice they have identical high quality "Smithy Gonzo Swords", noticing his signature symbol of half open muppet eyes and a long curved tube nose on the pommel of both weapons.
While some expensive masterpiece could get an individual name, a series of swords would be called the same thing. The local elite guard commission a half dozen particularly designed blades, and now the six each have a "Dirty Hooker".
Foolslayer sword of a thousand ass whoopings.
>>44083705
>130lbs
...L-London?
>>44083775
>>44083632
That's a good name.
>>44083656
>You say that now in the heat of the moment but then for the rest of your life you regret it because it fucks you over more than him.
Considering I've just been stabbed by a sword worthy of a name and likely issued its title with my dying breaths, I don't think suffering for the rest of my life is much of a concern.
>>44083328
Skull knight?
If you are going to run with "enemy names the blade" you aren't that likely to get a spite filled name. You can't ask a guy who was stabbed to death what he would like the name to be (without wasting time finding the correct corpse and spending a bunch of money in spell components to speak with the spirit)
I like to think the SNC has embedded persons like journalists, who ask survivors of the battle about it. If no one was particularly heroic, awesome, or otherwise bad ass, then no sword gets named. The sword only gets a name when you ask the survivors and they have a nickname, or better yet an anecdote.
"It was a whirlwind of blood and bones" from orcs translates to "blood whirl" for a name. "That bastard tripped and killed three men by accident" becomes "lucky strike" (that bloke went on to open a tobacco company named after his sword).
For realistic examples see devil dogs for U.S. marines (allegedly given by enemy Germans who claimed the fought like dogs from hell) or the "Fulcrum" NATO designation for the MiG 29 (ruskies adopted fulcrum as it's nickname because it held a pivotal role in their air defense)
