I want to run a bad game of D&D on roll20. How do I go about making the players as uncomfortable and butthurt as possible?
Note: I'll post a warning about the game in a game finder thread so I don't waste any fa/tg/uy's time.
Repeatedly curbstomp their characters in combat, only to have them rescued by your super special GMPC character before they die.
>>43848500
>How do I go about making the players as uncomfortable and butthurt as possible?
it looks like you have your answer already
>D&D
>>43848500
Make sure that voice chat is on. Make odd noises/neckbeard scratching sounds over the mic.
It's the little things that count.
>>43848555
We're not playing Lamentations of the Flame Princess, Derek. We've told you this before.
Now answer the damn question.
>>43848500
use this as a DMPC: http://www.big-metto.net/RP_Wiki/index.php?title=Mirabelle_Armitage
>>43848500
What type of D&D? What edition?
Also, monks. They generally go down well. Their unarmed attacks can be any motion that they do. Ass rape unarmed attacks. Stealth so high you can't detect them until they're between your cheeks. Glorious.
On an unrelated note, can join in?
>>43848500
Overly detailed descriptions about things that are borderline magical realm.
You have to have the tension of your players always suspecting you're getting off on the game, but never being sure or indeed having enough evidence.
>>43848500
Invisibility/Blur and flying enemies everywhere. Having to roll extra times and fight the RNG to even hit is fun.
Pick a player and single him out for abuse, or reject all of his character ideas for no real reason. Be sure to call him a weeaboo while doing this.
Introduce your super special custom race of catgirls.
Steal the party's shit constantly. If anyone plays a wizard, steal/sunder their spellbook and component pouches, making them basically useless.
Nat 1s are always failures for the players, regardless of their skills. They're also not allowed to Take 10/Take 20 on anything.
Cursed items everywhere, also diseases.
Important characters are all lolis or waifu-bait, especially the GMPC that always saves the party.
Brothels everywhere, literally all the inns in town are brothels. But none of them cater to "normal" clientele.
Any time anything bad happens, the party gets blamed, even if they were trying to prevent it.
BBEG always runs away and always manages to escape every time the party gets the upper hand.
>>43848500
Make intentional freudian slips constantly.
Get a good sense of what kind of people your players are. If they're /v/-type people, offend them with cute animes and horses. If they're tumblr-types, just slip in the occasional "nigger" and you're good.
Make sure to use and misuse random Japanese terms at inappropriate times.
Call all children "lolis" or "shotas".
All of your NPC art has to be cropped porn.
Cough into the microphone at least once every 10 minutes.
There's a special place in hell for what you're doing right now...
And I want to see every single minute of your masterwork, please post the results afterwards!
>>43848500
Can you please not
Some of us lonely faggots just want a good game. Just imagine some poor soul out there desperate to participate in a good story gets duped into playing your game. After the group reaches the tipping point and splits up, he decides maybe it's all his fault and since he can't ever enjoy the one hobby he loves he kills himself
Look what you've done you asshole
>>43848500
Read through the books. Find all the stupidest, most retarded, highly unnecessary rules.
Make at least one come up every other scene.
And make sure you don't know them by heart and have to look them up every time.
>>43848500
Why?
>>43850759
For the glory of Asmodeus of course.
>>43848500
How far are we going with uncomfortable?
You could try running FATAL but, with weird fucking fetishes found on /d/ or /aco/ (Inflation, shrinking, conjoined twins, inanimate transformation, anal vore)
At this point why not have an all powerful NPC seduce or rape one of the characters against the player's wishes too. Make them a hermaphrodite! Maybe even have them change the gender of the character.
If that sort of thing is beyond what your willing to do have items that actually have hit points; make everything including clothing and weapons break really easily so that even fighters find themselves unable to do shit. Mages spell books can catch fire or the ink inside might wash away if wet.
Make a /pol/ poster's wet dream come true. The good guys are described as hard working men and women with blonde hair and blue eyes. All the bad guys have dark skin and are commanded by short men with large noses who have an obsession with money.
Sexism is a good way to make things awkward as well.as well. force female characters to take penalties in almost every stat. (intelligence/strength/wisdom/endurance). Make sure there as no women in any role of power (unless they're man hating villains).
write a lesson of the day/session into every episode that is so horribly written it belongs into an after school special. (For examples watch captain planet)
visit /co/ and ask about cliche episodes in every cartoon (do this with /tv/ but, with sitcoms or other shows). make sure to do these by the numbers. That is to say force them as hard as possible (think of an anti-drug episode from a cartoon or television show or maybe an STD awareness episode then railroad people into it).
>>43848500
Whenever your describing NPCs to your players always have the vast majority of descriptive focus assigned to their ankles and fingernails. Linger on those aspects uncomfortably long.
If you want a player, i could join
>>43848500
You must deny them continually. Find out what they want during interviews or by making a listing describing a certain game niche. Then abandon that niche entirely.
Require an in depth backstory for each character, but then never do anything with it.
Make sure to have a list of inane homebrew rules that fuck people over for the most part, claim they are playtesting. When they get used to the homebrew, change it.
Destroy or steal their equipment/gear, repeatedly (hidden rustmonster rogues)
Make sure that they face extreme predujice where ever they go if they are a woman, if they are a different race than the locals, or if they look like an adventurer.
>>43848500
Insert "your" magical realm in as much as possible.
The BBEG is a girly shota that's as sexualized as possible.
Your GMPC is a lolsorandumb loli that constantly saves the party on a whim. Casually include that she's incontinent and wears diapers in a flagrant example of "your" magical realm, but keep insisting that it was a flaw that you totally rolled for randomly.
Include several furry races, with pretentious names derived from the latin names for the animal, as well as kemonomimi races. Make them objectively superior to core races.
Express a "subtle" hatred for Humans into your lore. NPCs and your GMPC are all racist against Humans for causing some vague bad historical event. Refer to Humans as "hummis" to make a point about how boring and bland Humans are. The BBEG should also be Human.
All important NPCs are either furry, half-furry, or female. About 50% of important NPCs should be lolis or shotas, "actually 100's of years old" or not.
>>43852184
the furries need to sexually frustrate the PCs
If a player misses a roll tell them they can reroll if they show their tits (especially females), suck on a banana, draw a dick on their forehead, show their butt... If you have women in your group, make sexist jokes. If characters are females, have the NPC make sexist jokes. Female NPC's who get kidnapped will be graphically raped (try to look aroused while describing the scene, breathing heavily in your microphone). If your players are atheists bring in religion. If they are all from a certain religion, make allusions about how other religions are better, more manly... Have the PC's being plagued by thieves and pickpockets.
>>43848655
i want join too
>>43848500
give us a name
>>43852922
>furries constantly flirt with players, especially if they don't like it.
>would never actually put out or date a player.
This is brilliant. Everyone is unhappy and uncomfortable.
>>43849790
Make a podcast of it
>>43853307
I second this...
This could be a new thing...baiting unknowing players into a game recording it and then posting the results here.....we could even have a vote for what cringeworthy plot happens each week
>>43853578
>On tonights MAGICAL REALM, see the unamused player reactions as inflatable tentacles impregnate their characters in every orifice. Who will drop out first? Who is desperate enough to keep rolling for anal circumference?
Yes. A reality show I can actually enjoy.
My body is ready.
Here is what I have in mind:
The evil warlock Melissa of House Tamberly has assassinated and manipulated her way into becoming Queen of the Kingdom of Ervane.
The average peasant folk was benign to the change for their lives changed very little. However Queen Tamberly after taking power opened a portal to the first layer of Hell. With her new demonic army behind her she seeks to enslave the people of Ervane. All hope is not lost however.
In the frozen lands of the peaceful yet distrustful Danararians, there is said to be a ancient artifact known as the cube of Pelor which, if found could be used to destroy the demon army and seal the portal to hell.
Note: Danararians will be a race of furries and the cube of Pelor will be revealed to actually be a unholy artifact of the god of torture that takes them to the plane of BDSM. Also the frozen lands will be filled with thieves and street gangs.
>>43854477
Cool. When do you make it "bad" though?
>>43854477
Add a little /pol/ in there for the extra uncomfyness.
The citizens are all fair-skinned, golden-haired, blue-eyed people, fair and kind to all strangers, with their invaders being mostly some cruel race of dark-skinned savages.
For extra cringe, tie in some current references to the Europe Migrant thing going on. Have the noble Ervaninans be accepting refugees from the outside kingdoms, but said refugees are destroying the noble culture of the Ervanians and imposing their own law and whatever else /pol/ likes to babble about.
Have you considered that you may not get rejected immediately? This could turn into a 'gay chicken' situation in which the players are just as bad as you are. How far are you willing to go?
>>43854599
It's bad from the start. They'll start off in a town full of furries that hate them.
>>43854820
I will run a full year long campaign if they decide to stay with me. I'll just make it worse as the game goes on too. As long as I get enough greentext material to make a single fa/tg/uy kek I won't back out.
What questions should I ask at the pregame interview to ensure the party consists of the specialist of snowflakes?
>>43854923
>Do you have a signature weapon or attack?
>What class do you usually play?
>Have you played with this system before?
Ideally you'd get some dumb HANZO STEEL type stuff from the first, a homebrew class and race from the second, and some horrifying story about their last game where they became a god or something.
>>43854906
>a town full of furries that hate them.
That's like a one on the cringe scale of game awfulness.
>>43854923
Ask if they have any "triggers" and be sure to incorporate them several sessions in to "enhance roleplay" which is just fancy speak for stir the shit. By that time they should be attached to their donut steels to make it extra rage inducing.
Besides overpowered lolis, shotas, furries, Stereotypical Aryans is there any other types of NPCs I should include?
>>43855084
Animes.
Also lots of vidya character.
Maybe someone from a porn game as another GMPC.
Maybe even someone vaguely similar to one of the players.
That might be a bit too heavyhanded though.
>>43855084
Assholes. Every time the PC's try to solve things diplomatically (because they're already getting fucked over in combat) make every NPC a total dick for no reason. Shopkeepers kick them out, inn keepers want them out and force them to camp in the woods. No matter how much good they do have the NPCs be as unhelpful as possible even if they just saved their lives and town from bad shit.
>>43855084
Remember to add:
"I'm so cool and better than u, let me steal the spotlight" DMPC.
Leader Figure with horrible opinions who everyone treats as right because the DM's shitty opinions are fact.
The Railroad Brigrade, who is any NPC who suddenly is overpowered in order to stop the PCs from doing something you don't want them to do.
That one NPC who was stolen wholesale from your favorite anime, which when they ask you if it's stolen, you'll deny them ever hearing about because the anime "is too underground for them to have watched" despite it being highly popular.
>>43855189
So basically he wants this jerk?
Another great idea: railroading. Railroad them as hard as possible and come up with the funniest excuses as to why they can't do X.
"But I need to go back to town fir-"
"No, you can't."
"Why not?"
"There's a forcefield of magic there now."
Basically, the tabletop equivalent of invisible walls everywhere. This also works if you tease them by making the world seem so vast and neat to explore, and allow them to go absolutely nowhere cool.
>>43855084
>>43855189
Oh shit, >>43855188 just reminded me.
Add a "lolrandum" evil guy who randomly appears, does stupid shit like raping a PC's horse and slapping him with his own cock, and have him be too OP for anyone to even bother stopping him. But also have him do nothing at all that's permanent to the plot, and have him reverse all the possibly beneficial side effects to the plot he may have, so that he's just a giant waste of time.
Leave every session on a cliffhanger. Make them want to struggle through the game because something cool is about to happen and they HAVE to see how it turns out. And then it's completely ignored or falls flat.
Because if you want to milk this you need to really give them incentive to want to suffer through this shit. So every now and then you need to tease the idea that your "hardcore" campaign is about to finally give them cool shit or send them somewhere neat and it's always just out of their reach.
When people eventually start dropping out at ridiculous rates (and they will), gloat about how your campaign is extremely hardcore and will test the abilities of it's players.
If the players complain, either be really understanding and say you'll work on switching stuff up (and don't) or claim that maybe they're just not cut out for a hardcore campaign like this and should go back to Call of Duty because you've run this campaign many times and have had nothing but good feedback on X thing they're complaining about.
>>43848646
pls no
>>43855260
Don't even make him OP, just use DM fiat so he always gets away from the party.
One of my first D&D games, the DM was a colossal douche and kept attacking us with his Vampire self-insert. We came up with a plan to trap it since it kept escaping whenever we came close to killing it; so we trapped it in a magic circle, and I could see the DM thinking "how can I get around this so my special snowflake doesn't die?" Eventually he just said "the vampire flies away, LOL HE'S NOT CROSSING THE MAGIC LINE IF HE FLIES OVER IT!"
That guy was the worst fucking DM.
Make every enemy bullywugs and only refer to them as pepes
The worst game I ever played it was one if the players that ruined it. Pathfinder was the only game he would play and all his 'builds' were copied from charop board. I don't say characters because he never had one. Just a sheet of combat abilities. He never did anything except during combat. A couple times he fell asleep during rp heavy sessions. He only perked up during combat and he always had to win. He would actually pout if we even suggested retreating. What ended the game was when he threw a fit and got into an argument with the DM about a rules interpretation.
>>43855244
>deadly purple mist
>deadly purple mist everywhere
ravenloft.jpg
Make them fill out a request form for every spell they cast. Reject half of them
>>43848500
>Note: I'll post a warning about the game in a game finder thread so I don't waste any fa/tg/uy's time.
Which begs the question. Why would anyone want to be involved in a "bad game"? Why would anyone want to join a game that is supposed to be "bad"?
>How do I go about making the players as uncomfortable and butthurt as possible?
Change the ruleset whenever you feel like it. Include inconsistencies and contradictions in the storyline. Make the storyline boring.
>>43855084
Lots of grappling.
>>43855787
He's not gonna tell the people that it's gonna be bad. He's gonna make it seem normal and trick them so he has funny stories to tell of their reactions. And the ones here who want to join just want to see the fucking trainwreck.
Trick them. Have them put a lot of effort into their characters to make it seem very RP heavy and just have them go full murderhobo via DM railroad.
Throw in anachronisms.
Light switches and alarm clocks in the inn, bards singing Taylor Swift, and a goblin boy on a 3DS
>>43856102
>"Oh yeah, you can make that bard with all those ranks in diplomacy, bluff, etc. That stuff will come up all the time, you'll be an asset to the group. Oh yeah, that's a good spell for investigating and it'll really go well with your skills."
>"Well this is a combat heavy campaign, plus as a DM I'm supposed to limit what you can do with your skills. You can't go around talking your way through encounters and situations, the group WON'T GET XP AND TREASURE that way! Dice rolling and talking isn't roleplay! Well it's not my fault you don't have that obscure language of clicks and whistles to communicate with the peaceful trolls. Well actually that's a specific knowledge check you don't have ranks in. I call it knowledge shamandaring, it's for this breed of trolls."
>>43854126
Everything is borderline magical realm. They're not just fighting a fat ogre. They're fighting a fat ogre with a large bulge in his loincloth, looking at them very lustfully and licking his lips, his large nipples erect. If they bitch, have excuses on hand. It's cold, so his nipples are hard, the bulge is actually a hidden club, and he's looking at them and licking his lips because he plans to eat them. What the fuck is wrong with these players for having dirty minds like that? You're trying to run a family friendly campaign and these people won't stop with their magical realm shit.
>>43848500
Play it straight, like you're serious and mean to run a good game. Be affable, helpful, try and make them feel important. Get everything ready to go.
Then don't show up on the first day. Or the second day. Or the third day.
For extra awfulness, have an alt-profile that you 'accepted' as a 'player' earlier, so you can be present and urge everyone to wait or sow discord.
>>43856283
>Furries? What? These are a homebrew race. Well yeah they don't wear a lot of clothing, they're covered in fur. Well I don't know what you're talking about but I've never heard of yeffing before and if it's what you're implying I'll ask you to leave it out of game.
>>43856354
>DM not showing up
No no, this is supposed to be something different, not a typical roll20 game.
>For extra awfulness, have an alt-profile that you 'accepted' as a 'player' earlier, so you can be present and urge everyone to wait or sow discord.
Yes yes yes more of this yes.
>>43856354
Pacify thine mammaries, Satan.
Pick the weakest link after a few sessions and pick on him without any mercy. Fuck him over harder than life itself. Out of game, be nicest towards him and friendly. Act like he's almost a friend so he's not sure what to think. Is the game really fucking him over this hard? Is it the DM? Why's he so nice if he just wanted to be a dick then? Mind game these players hard. Like others have said, be friendly as fuck and act like these guys are great and be helpful to them, but then just shit all over them. That by the end they're not sure what's going on.
>>43856354
The alt account should come in at the end. When you're ready to end the campaign, make the stakes high. This is about to be the end of the game, everything is set for the final confrontation and the players are finally about to be able to do something cool and badass, but never show up again and watch their reactions. The ultimate cocktease for the people who stayed.
Contact me on skype if you are interested in playing a part in this. My skype name is RequesterOfShoops. Call me AJ at some point during the skype call so I know you are from /tg/. The lfg listing should be up soon.
>have them make their own characters
>decide at the last minute to do shitty pregens with suboptimal stats
>include obscure stuff and your own houserules into the character that are stupid/worthless.
>let them know constantly that "that's not how that character would act." and take control of the pc to do it for them to "show them".
>Make it a point to kill off at least one character every session. Remind them this is a hardcore game when their character dies because the giant fell over on top of them and his spiked codpiece punctures his eyesocket.
>have strict time restraints during combat, but change the time allotted constantly and don't apply it to one of the players.
>Have situations that force the party to split, leaving out players to spend the rest of the session focusing on one or two players only. Make sure they die or get crippled because of it. If the players call bullshit point out that "You should never split the party. I told you this was hardcore bro."
>Have "assignments" in between sessions. Start it out as something reasonable at first, like character journal entries, but eventually turn it into indepth, disturbing barrage of personal questions and cringeworthy multiple choice.
>mfw all these things that are supposed to be terrible is just shit I put up with on a regular because I'm desperate for a game
Make sure to use an f-list page for your DMPC with lots of animu inspired character pics
Make it invite only so no knights from here shit on it like every time we try to raid freeform rps.
Adding to that, have a non player player show up and talk and distract you with inane bullshit so you have to stop the game repeatedly because he/she is your friend. Have them claim you're really good and randomly leave.
Bonus if its a 'girl' who also flirts with the players sometimes.
Hard mode: its also you
>>43857435
>DM's girlfriend who gets special privileges
>She is also the chosen one
>Characters who are "problematic" die/disappear.
>>43848500
>make LFG listing for Pathfinder
that is about all it takes
>>43855705
This I think you need an inside man. A PC to help push this shit.
So I tried to get a girl to pose as my gf. This is what she said.
>>43856967
Will this be run in Sundays? If so I could be a ringer.
>>43858837
Talk her down to ten by starting at five.
>>43858837
>So I tried to get a girl to pose as my gf.
That is straight up sitcom territory and I love it.
>>43858837
You can probably find a chick willing to do it for fucking free. Fuck paying money for that.
>>43848727
>BBEG always runs away and always manages to escape every time the party gets the upper hand
Reminds me of this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b95uzAfRET4
>>43859494
Where should I look for one?
>>43859926
Anywhere. On 4chan you can probably find some here. Or, hell, even go on /soc/. There's enough attentionwhores there to last a lifetime. And if they post dirty pictures there for free, I'm sure they'd have no problem just showing up for the free attention once a week or whenever the sessions are.
>>43859926
>>>/soc/ more specifically, /erpg/ thread over there
the chick in question might actually be a guy, but hey, it's free
>>43848500
sounds like you want to have ab a d t i m e
>>43859733
Is there any system that can represent a character who has proficiency in window-based escapes?
>>43860183
Anything is possible when you're OP and looking to homebrew the worst game possible.
Where do I go from here /tg/?
I ain't saying she a gold digger
>>43863968
>>43864048
She's gonna run off with the money if you give it early senpai, hold out on it for as long as possible. Playfully pretend to actually be afraid of her orbiter for good measure.
>>43864025
But she ain't messing with no broke niggas
>>43864048
Try getting a chick from /soc/ for free, or even one of the dudes from the erp general and have them just do text
>>43865313
I don't want them to use text, I'm specifically looking for voice. I don't think someone from a erp on /soc/ could be subtle enough for what I am looking for.
>>43858892
This.
>>43865768
Just tell her not to go all out the first session. Second session have her go full psycho.
How should I continue?
>>43848619
>not that anon
>name derek
>freak out becase I've never seem my name randomly on the internet before
>>43865915
Her icon is literally the name "Jay" inside a heart. Did you dump perception, you stickpicker?
I'm down for helping fuck things up, but at this point I think you have more ringers than actual players.
>>43848500
Make super elaborate plans and puzzles that are actually really easy to figure, every time anyone figures them out, punish them horrendously.
Once players stop figuring them out to avoid the punishments, call them stupid and say that a child could have figured them out.
>>43854126
FUND IT
>>43865960
>used to use tumblr a bunch
>every few months one of my posts get a note by someone whose URL is my first and last name
>mfw
So, what I feel like is going to happen is that it will mostly be /tg/ who wants to play, half of them will want to antagonize the others and help the gm, the other half will feel like it is a challenge to enjoy the game/OR they legit want to play with those fetishes because no one plays that kind of game.
>>43855803
There's being a dick, then there's grappling rules.
Special place in hell, etc...
>>43866119
>>used to use tumblr a bunch
Go back there, then.
Is this still a thing? Or did we give up?
>>43860183
I'm sure GURPS has a supplement for it.
>>43867337
I have one clueless player and someone from /tg/ as another. I'll soon have one more clueless player.
>>43867602
You need more victims.
Bump for interest
Let's keep this trianwreck running
>>43854477
>The evil warlock Melissa of House Tamberly
Have Melissa sound like a girl that spurned your advances and you're putting her as the seductress villain to work out your own problems in-game. Add in other female NPCs who are bitches and follow the same formula, using common real-world names for even monsters. "You encounter the treacherous bandit Orc Julia. She eyes you over with disgust even though she isn't as hot as she thinks she is."
>Danararians will be a race of furries
You're gonna need more details really. Pick one thing and go with it. Like snow foxes or something that lets you skate that fine line between appropriate and over the top cringe.
>cube of Pelor
Nah, go full homebrew. Make up your own suffocating pantheon with only like two good deities and a dozen edgelord choices. Expect them to know everything perfectly and never explain anything, force them to learn minute details of your bs inconsistent and unfinished homebrew.
>the frozen lands will be filled with thieves and street gangs.
Make the Danararians full blown fuzzy kender clones for maximum rage. That way they aren't "stealing", just "borrowing". If they so much as lay a finger on a Danarian they get tossed in super ice magic jail and they have to write up a new character.
>>43855145
>That might be a bit too heavyhanded though.
There is no such thing as too far! We are taking this thing as far as it can go!
>>43848500
>ctrl+f "Chakat"
>Disappointed with results
C'mon guys, let's not forget the basics
>>43879454
Baby steps anon. You spring the heavy stuff on them after a few sessions. You don't go full cringe right away.
But yeah, Chakat shit but make them especially jarring, like alien spaceship technology genetic manipulated race all up in your classic fantasy realm outta nowhere with different rules.
>>43879562
>with different rules
Have them straight up use rules from a different system.
Bonus points if the system used is not at all compatible with your usual system.
>>43879454
>ctrl+f "Sergal"
>0 matches
It's like they're not even trying.
>>43865960
Join the Air Force yet Derek?
>>43879795
Exactly, like a straight up rip from some basement-creeping weirdo's fap fuel using a bizarre d12 system. The player should be shitting themselves trying to figure out what's going on as their DM is asking them to make checks that aren't even on their character sheets and told they have to roll different dice for it.
