>>43831422
Do you even tuckers kobolds?
Make your DMPC the main protagonist of the story
>>43831422
Make the first handful of sessions really good. Get everyone's hopes up, appear dedicated and like you intend to see the game through to the end. Then start cancelling sessions. Run less and less often. Eventually just leave the players hanging and stop running entirely.
>>43831544
I should also make them make the other players completely uselss right?
>>43831422
Rape a player.
>>43831422
Get mad when things don't go according to plan
>>43831560
Of course. Also have them have exactly the right solution to every problem. Only after your PCs try every sensible option and fail because the bad guy is too smart for them.
>>43831552
God damn it, it not my fault! Gm's need a solid rotation to avoid burnout.
Take control of characters and make them take actions and dont let the characters even try to roll against things
>Your character notices something shining in the bushes and goes to pick it up
>It was trap, you're poisoned for the rest of the session
>>43831422
sexually assault your players
>>43831788
Poison the gaming snacks.
Allow PVP rape with unecessary detail. Shift in your seat while you do so because of your raging erection.
>>43831422
>place bomb under the table
>rig it to explode when any player gets out of their chair
>when everyone sits at the table, explain everything to them and make the bomb sharp
>get out FATAL
>>43831422
say you're going to play some homebrew system, that happens to be just like FATAL
>>43831830
Spike the snacks with a mix of LSD and laxatives.
>>43831892
>>43831422
Flake out on your own game
>>43831934
I legitimately am curious about that recipe.
>>43831934
Well, did he ever get the recipe?
>>43832458
>>43832521
I'm going to guess that it's cosmic brownies + whatever other tasty shit you wanna put in + very strong laxatives.
>>43831934
>>43832458
>>43832521
+1
Getting the recipe would be awesome.
>>43831422
Railroad hard. Take away player power and choice.
>>43831422
Being an asshole; making the game not fun
>>43831552
I'm sorry, Vince ;_;
>>43831422
All of what everyone has told you plus Tomb of Horrors. Tuckers' Kobolds + FATAL + Tomb of Horrors should drive your players to madness induced suicide.
>>43831422
Get married.
>>43832562
I'm hoping that it isn't laxatives though. Somehow that cheapens it. I want something that is just a combination of normal ingredients that somehow invokes eldritch gastrointestinal distress.
>>43832775
>that somehow invokes eldritch gastrointestinal distressso orange juice and milk
But how would you slip that in without them noticing? AND make it delicious?
>>43832844
That's what the brownies are here for.
>>43832775
Just give them some of Haribo's sugarless Gummi bears.
>>43832775
My brother once started making brownies before realizing we were out of eggs, so he substituted olive oil.
BLOOD FROM MY ASSHOLE.
>>43831743
That's why I always have 2-4 campaigns open at any given time and switch from one to the next every 3 months (give or take a week or two).
>>43831892
Are you kidding?
I WANT a GM who does that.
>>43831422
Shitpost meaningless informal polls on 4chan.
>>43832768
This. This has destroyed so many of my campaigns. In fact it is THE reason I got snipped, because now no woman will ever marry me. Which is sad, but at least I will be a good GM.
>>43831422
Disband the group.
>>43834235
Seems like a shitty reason to take such extreme measures. But you are namefagging on 4chan, so I don't know why I'm commenting on you doing stupid shit.
>>43831422
Like, that only a GM can do or someone can do as a person who just so happens to be a GM?
>>43834212
Go be a faggot somewhere else you smegma eating dweeb.
>>43831544
It could work but only with the players agreement.
>>43831422
Force your political beliefs onto a session without notice.
>>43831422
Insert all your fetishes, ALL OF THEM!
This includes that cursed belt of gender changing, a cursed ring of polymorph, adding aphrodisiacs everywhere fucking ever, and plant/slime/mimic/cat people/pony rape. Hell, add as many MLP inserts as possible into your game, that'll show them!
Don't forget your DMPC thats overpowered and required, as well as extreme railroading.
>>43834644
Stark/10 would fuck and text in the following week.
>>43831422
Use Chakats
Retcon the background for a player character without discussing it with them first.
Be boring.
People will hem and haw about this that and the other thing, but really, nothing's worse than being boring.
>>43833577
...why would you ever think olive oil and milk are OK to substitute for each other?
>>43834781
Agreed.
>>43835448
This
>>43831422
Kill your players is pretty high up on the list. I think.
>>43831552
Im guilty of this. Now I feel twice as bad. Thank you.
>>43837767
You should feel bad.
>>43833577
What kind of a retard do you have to be to think you can use olive oil as a substitute for eggs?
>>43831422
Dare them to enter your Magical Realm.
>>43831934
I lol'd so hard fuck
>>43831422
Allow one of your players to be a gnome
Never do that
>>43831552
FUCK YOU DUSTY
Make a character that will inevitably be beloved by the players, make them cute, helpful, interesting...and then do awful things to them. And not in a comical way.
I had a game once where I introduced a twelve year old kid with messy red hair, an old dented war helmet, and a splintery old crossbow. He was a decent shot and helped the PCs in combat a few times. He demanded that everyone call him Captain Benny and he idolized the PCs.
And then he was impaled to a tree, his hand coldly gripping a bloodstained letter to his father that he had pulled from his pocket while bleeding out. The players found him like that.
I even made them roll a strength check to pry his fingers open. In retrospect I totally should've had them accidentally break his fingers.
I've never been cussed out so hard in my life after that session.
>>43840008
That's good dming though. Especially since you now have HUGE player motivation for them to go after the killer.
>>43840008
The murderer wasone of the players all along.Hydra dominatus
>>43831422
>>Find a new player to join your session, invite him to the next game.
>> When the session starts, tell him you'll get him in by the 2-hour mark for sure.
>>Eight hours later the session ends and he still hasn't gotten to play at all.
>>43840388
God I was starting to ask myself if that thread was real or just a horrible 4chan inspired nightmare..
>>43841347
What thread?
>>43832677
3.5 eberron campaign?
>>43831552
To be fair my players were canceling or not showing up. Only had two sessions in two months. I was available for each game session.
>>43831973
I relieve you of your duty, Aspen Ski Instructor.
>>43831422
Don't be fun.
>>43832768
My previous GM used his wife as an excuse. Said he couldn't run games any more because his wife (who had been joining in for a while) didn't want to play anymore. Everyone was pretty surprised at the time, since she seemed like she'd been getting less awkward and more involved towards the end.
It was several months later that we ran into her at a party and she spent a half hour talking about how fun the campaign was and how she really hoped we'd all be able to play again soon.
My previous GM is a lying motherfucker.
>>43845968
Did you tell her what happened?
>>43831743
Weakling
I ran weekly for over a year and never felt burnt out. The only reason we swapped was because another faggot in the group kept sperging about dark heresy so we humored him
>>43839876
Well gee, sorry, whichever one of my players you are, I just don't get as excited as having you all killing giant bugs as I used to.
>>43831422
Magical realm in a non magical realm game, or not magical realming in a magical realm game
>>43850744
kinda wana do the latter desu
