>Elves aren't in a continuous war with every other race
>Half-elves aren't products of rape
>Elves aren't kept as slaves
Explain why your Elves are so shit, anon.
>>43819870
Explain why everything you post is shit, anon.
because.
next bait please
>>43819870
Why aren't you using your trip? And why are you even back? I thought you got banned indefinitely after the FATAL post.
I'm serious anons.
Elves are fucking weak as shit and are frail as a twig. There is no reason for them to be above any other race because "muh elf magic". They're no different than native americans or african bunga bunga tribes.
The only difference between Elves and Orcs is that Orcs have muscle while Elves have magic.
>>43819919
I hate this stereotype where elves have magic. Living in a forest like a hippie isn't how you develop magic. You develop magic through hard work, study, and scientific method. Humans and Dwarves should be way better mages than whimsical forest elves.
>>43819919
>There is no reason for them to be above any other race because "muh elf magic".
The whole "absurd longevity" bit is a good trick, too. Especially since in fantasy the extreme knowledge/skills that dedication and eternity can earn you pretty much translate to arbitrarily great personal power.
>>43819870
Fuck of Virtualoptim you cancerous faggot.
I have an Elf slave I freed and she won't fucking leave.
I've done everything I can think of to get rid of her. I left her in town with a hand full of gold, but she ran all the way back to me.
I found a colony of Elves for her to integrate with, but the moment I turn around, she starts panicking. Hours later she catches up to me again.
I left her at a temple to my god, where the clergy promised to take care of her, only for her to essentially run away a 3rd fucking time to find me.
Now anytime I bring up the topic of "You're free" and "Go away", she starts to hyperventilate, panic and starts crying.
I'm thinking of wiping her memory, but the only people that can do that have a coin flip's chance of wiping her entire memory if we proceed.
How the fuck I do to fix this?
Because Elves of all races have the strongest magic, the most ancient traditions, the longest lifespans, the most stable cultures, as well as some of the most powerful individuals, martial and magical, in the setting, full stop, just due to their legendary heroes not dying off seven decades in.
The only reason they don't own the planet is because all the other races have similiar hacks and because of their god-awful breeding rates.
>>43819919
>The only difference between Elves and Orcs is that Orcs have muscle while Elves have magic.
And magic is more versatile than personal strength?
They are also more dexterous and agile than humans with better eyesight and hand-eye coordination.
Once guns develop, humans should start being terrified of Elven Snipers and Chosen Men like they are french in a Sharpe's Rifles movie.
>>43819919
In my setting the elves are born with a sliver of the All Fire that grows as they age, making them stronger and more resilient than other races. Most spontaneously combust somewhere between 300 and 700 years old. High Elves are elves that have enough self-discipline to survive 1000 years.
I'm not a neckbeard with serious mental trauma. I like the idea of a race being inherently more powerful than the others, if only to create interesting conundrums for my players. I won't try to balance the strength of a giant and a human to make it 'balanced', this is ridiculous. Same with elves.
>>43819967
If you're freeing her for moral reasons, you could always give her a normal salary (minus cost of room and board, obviously) and let her continue working for you as a servant rather than a slave.
>>43819967
Just give her the dick anon, she doesn't want to be free, she wants to be a sex slave.
>>43819870
I'm not a butthurt faggot on a campaign against an imaginary problem. You do realize you're just like a SJW, right?
>>43819967
retire and sire a son with her, it's the only way
>>43820008
The first (and last time) I gave her gold in that city, when she found me, she gave me the gold back and begged me not to beat her... incidentally, she handed me back MORE gold than what I gave her.
>>43820030
>>43820054
slavery turns me off m8
>>43820075
it's not slavery, it's you having a loving family together
>>43819919
In my setting the average elf isn't weaker than the average human, they just don't have as much endurance. Mostly it's a fast vs slow twitch muscle thing.
>>43820075
>you should have beaten her for giving you more gold then she started with.
serious answer just get some heavy anti scrying spells put up
>>43819870
Because they're all dead.
They didn't have the balls to stick around.
>>43819967
sell her to someone who knows how to keep unruly slaves in hand if you're not prepared to do the responsible thing and take her as a concubine
>>43819870
Elves didn't give nearly enough of a shit one way or the other about any other race and pretty much all fucked off to various largely-inaccessible parts of the world to do elf things without anyone else bothering them.
>>43819870
My elves aren't /tg/ memes.
>>43819870
But my elves are in a continual war, except its with one country this side of the portal, and the world on the other side of the portal. The catgirl armies are too strong and have pushed them into human territory.
And half-elves mostly are products of rape, because the human country they're still at war with is a slaving nation. Over the last five hundred years they've actually interbred with the elves and kept them seperate so much that they're now considered their own race.
>>43819919
Anon, please, stop shitposting.
>muh elf magic
Actually a valid reason, but again, please, stop shitposting.
>>43819940
Magic is not a technology, you idiot! You can't just say the spell like a math formula and get the result. If it doesn't resonate with your soul and with the world around you - it wouldn't work. You will be nothing more that a weirdo that mumbling some nonsense.
Magic is about changing the very reality around you. You could bargain with world for power, you could try to bend and shape it with your sheer will and words, you could trick reality into believing your vision. But you still need a very specific and quite bizarre way of thinking to make it happens.
Which is completely alien to most humans, but a few handful of wizards that were fucking they mind up for years in order to be able to do magic.
But that bizarre way of thinking is natural to elves. So, how can you keep as slave someone that could vanish into thin mist, transform into flock of ravens or persuade the rocks in prison walls to let her out?
>>43821150
Where is this picture from? It seems familiar.
>>43821168
The Battle for Wesnoth
>>43821179
I knew it! Send the treants forth, let the arrows pick the rest.
Loved to play as Rebels.
>keeping elvish slaves
>raping elves
>pro-ducing half elves under any circumstance
are you fucking dense? retarded? challenged, even? it's like sticking your dick in a garbage can because you're better than it
you want to take slaves? what will you do with them? replace the human workforce and ruin the economy? good job shitlord, the elven labour force has banded together to lead a revolution
either all-inclusive elven genocide or get THE FUCK out of my faerun/setting
>>43821168
West-something, far from perfect game but the creators still put pretty good effort into improving it after so long.
>>43819870
It's hard to be in continual warfare when you are no longer present on the material planes, your gods have been broken and sent to the realm of anubis, and all mentioning of you has met nigh oblivion, save for a few of the older aberrations.
>>43821219
Slaves elf aren't mean to replace human work force, they are basically luxury items.
>>43821256
okay so you keep them in your house or on your estate instead of in your mines, how is this better
>ha ha that was some jolly coitus Velyana but i'm going to sleep now
>remember not to kill me, my family, or any of my neighbors!
>or steal/break any of my belongings!
>or set fire to anything!
>or coordinate a revolution with elf sympathisers!
now get them on the first train to elfswitchz and theseconcerns dissapear
>>43821396
No, that would be way to direct.
> Every big noble house have elf slaves to show their power and wealth.
> Since elves live much longer than men, they see several generation of the most powerful men of the realm.
> They slowly influence them and shape their mind over generations.
>>43819967
You got yourself a concubine.
You will never be free of her, no priest will ever marry the two of you and she probably wouldn't survive long without you.
The only non-assholish thing to do now is have her be your concubine or second wife or mistress or what ever title your shitty little ant hill civilization uses.
Just know this. She will out live you ten times over and so much more naturally. If you don't give her children she will probably hang herself when you die married or not.
>>43821444
So, elves are actually not slaves, but grey cardinals of humanity.
>>43819870
>Explain why your Elves are so shit, anon.
Because my elves are doing the raping and enslaving.
>>43821396
You just don't buy wild horses unless you have the means to break them and train them. It's the same way with elf, the usual buyer goes for the properly train and broken specimens.
>>43821459
>>43819870
Because fuck you
>>43819940
>This is what all talentless humanoids believe
>laughing_elfman.jpg.gif.png.tiff
>>43821196
Wesnoth Treants are called Wose. Love making Wose zombies. So satisfying to see those creepy fuckers smashing shit.
I can understand Humanity as a whole having an Elf fetish since they're basically genetically perfect Humans + slutty ears. But how do you justify Orcs, Goblins, Trolls, Draconians, etc. liking Elves?
>>43821459
>Won't survive without you
>Will outlive you
Pick one.
>>43819870
>treating an entire race as a culturallt homogenous construct
Next you're going to tell me all Dwarves are miners, and all Humans live in the Human Empire...
>>43821552
>slutty ears
They are cute!
>>43821552
Orcs dont like elves, they are just made of rape.
Goblins in all of my settings wouldn't give two shits about elves, to busy killing each other or being enslaved themselves.
Trolls generally don't have societies and dragons/Draconian races like collecting pretty things.
>>43821557
If she has your children to look after her then she will maybe not take the quick way off the top floor.
>>43821557
the guy said it, pump her full of babies, and she will live on with the part you left behind (aka the babies and subsequent generations of your line)
outside that an elf will outlive a human so the statement is still true on the general sense.
>You'll never have an Elf slave to be your wife and start a family with
>>43821552
Orcs in my setting aren't that picky, neither are goblins, Trolls are a type of fey and thus are actually attracted to fey and fey like things. Dragons and dragon like creatures however, they don't often like bipedal races, those that do it's some fetish and not a rare one usually something that dragons who grew up around other races pick up, and tend to focus on what races they grew up around.
>>43819870
They have a fucking 5 year gestation period. They're in no position for permawar
>>43821567
> We want to secede from the human empire!
> You will have to create a subrace then.
>>43821567
>Human Empire
Thats funny.
The entire aristocracy has been vampires for centuries from the counts to the Empress.
Its not the Human Empire. Humans just live there.
It is the empire on which the sun never rises.
>this entire thread
someone forgets pest control for a few centuries and this is what we get
>>43821598
>>43821599
Ok, well the optimal solution is still to pump her, let her have the kid, and then dump her...in a body bag.
If you like the kid, you can always keep it and raise it with your actual spouse...if not you can sell it and recoup the loss on the annoying-ass, defectively clingy original (assuming you bought it in the first place).
>get cursed by the world itself for fucking the world really damn hard
>breed really damn slow even more
>needs to eat raw flesh and blood, oldest ones need to feed on souls
>Fire, light from fires, sunlight and such fucks them up
>natural occurring metals and steel fucks them up, a scratch is poisonous to them, they need to cauterize it with evil magic fire
That's cool and all, they still live long, very good with magic and martial stuff. Although they have to rely on evil magic forging, corrupting nature and using mortals for livestock. Used livestock is turned into skeleton warriors for front line and fodder.
>>43820087
Thats the thing, she's using fucking "muh wuud elf" tracking to find us
>>43820095
Probably going to end up doing this if she keeps trolling my shit
>>43821459
>Creating life for the purpose of keeping one dependent elf alive
Interesting side note, at the Elf Colony, one of the Elves there were trying to integrate her into their society, starting by putting on gold jewelry and shit. Then she started to panic and ripping them off (including fucking up the bottom of her right ear from the earring). When I talked to her about it, she said that being an elf "wasn't her" and went back to her fucking slave trappings.
I really wish there were fucking psychologists in this god awful fantasy realm.
>>43819967
>He doesn't tap that
>He doesn't marry that
She's far more loyal than a human woman will ever be.
>>43819940
>You develop magic through hard work, study, and scientific method.
This is why magic is so shit and uninteresting nowadays.
It doesn't involve anything mystical, people just turned it into >muh science all the time. So fucking sick of this shit.
>>43821792
>Creating life for the purpose of keeping one dependent elf alive
You're creating a breed of human with a natural affinity for magic and a massively extended lifespan.
With careful breeding over the next dozen generations our vampire overlords are going to create a superior successor to both humans and elves. All the strengths of both but the weaknesses of neither.
It is your national duty to take her as your concubine.
>>43819870
My Elves aren't because I replaced them all with Protoss.Plus, the best Elves are WHFB Wood Elves. Insane, highly lethal, and have Treemen buddies that wear humans like piercings.
>>43819870
why are you a faggot anon
My elves come in various flavors, the strongest being the shamanistic and necromantic ash elves who have spent centuries in the ash lands of a ring of volcanic islands and have thus had to learn to be stronger and more cunning than the cushy wood elves of the mainland.
>>43819870
But my elves are the recent product of a sadistic genetic engineer in a post-apocalyptic environment in an attempt to create an organism more capable of surviving the new terrain, and that won't make the nuclear mistakes of their human ancestors, anon.
>>43819870
That's some edgy shit, op. Stop being a faggot.
Is it only me that likes the MTG elves (specially Gilt-leaf) more then the standard D&D and LOTR elves ?
>>43819919
>every setting ever has magic way outclass martials
>"hurr, all elves have is magic!"
That's like saying they ONLY have nukes
>>43819967
>hurr monstergirl waifu wat do
Take this pathetic ERP to /d/, faglord
>>43820112
why are you posting a /tg/ waifu then anon?
>>43819870
Can we have a moment to talk about half elves, and other creatures
Half elf, half human and its a seperate race, like half orc, halfling, half dragon, half *insert any race here*
Wouldnt be suprised if there is a half- beholder, or half mindflayer and probably half drider
And what about humanlike monsters..like centaurs. Or lamias, or mermaids or satyrs
What the hell is with humans do they just look at otherworldy monstrosities and go...yeah imma fuck that. Or mhmm thats a sexy goat/horse/snake/fish
I mean come on guys...jesus I want to play a setting where all humans are treated as sex addicts and all appear on maury
"This guy got my sister mindflayer pregnant, and also her best friend ghoul"
>dire wolf with litter of pups comes in with 2 adventurers
"These human wolf babies are one of theirs, DNA test will prove it"
>paladin Jack Stormshield....you are NOT THE FATHER
>cheering dancing yelling
>But....bard Jace thaelon...you ARE the father
"Nooooooooooooo, child support...my only bard weakness"
>>43823726
>half drider
So what, like that time Spiderman turned into manspider?
>>43819967
If chaotic: give her an inpossible task..like finding an enchanted wand of wish or a vorpal quiver of arrows that never empty and if she comes back...cool new wand\any item
If lawful: inform her that you cannot have a travelling companion of her type as you are travelling incognito and stuff
If neutral: it wont bother you, ignore her
If evil: "whats that over there"
>firrball, arrow, axe, to the head
if neutral: ignore her carry on doing stuff
If good, sell her into slavery and inform the buyer to chain her up with magical shackles that cant open
Sounds like an easy problem to fix...you just lack imagination
>>43823787
More like a quarter drow, quarter spider half human
>>43823855
So basically if that new nigger spiderman turns into manspider?
>>43823935
Now you're getting it
Which means there could be a black human walking around normally...but at night dons a red and blue costume to fight crime as the manspider shooting webs and using his twin poisoned daggers
>>43823935
there is already a manspider i think, just like how one of batman's villains/allies was manbat
>>43823972
>there is already a manspider i think
Yeah, and his name is Peter Parker. Pete turned into manspider on occasion when his spidery DNA gets all fucky
>>43819870
Because suicide is always an option when you're an elf.
I'll give you the continuous warfare, though.
>>43824177
>let me just lay down here and sieg heil
Because it's fantasy communism bitch nigga. Everyone is a slave/no one is a slave.
>>43823726
>ghouls
Built in viagra
>>43823726
>implying that somehow the bard WOULDN'T be the father.
>>43819967
>>43821792
Wait... This is starting to sound familiar...
...Has she ever said anything about halls of metal, or the stars (more than most elves do)? I think I know someone who might be able to help you.
Bring her to Blackbridge. I'll meet you both there, on the bridge, at dusk. Let me just ask you one thing though... Do you think there are worlds other than our own? Not the realms of the gods, or the hells, but other worlds, like this one?
>>43824177
>gnomes gonna gnome
>filename on a picture of Fëanor Kinslayer
you havin' a giggle m8
>>43824457You know that the Noldor were Tolkien's gnomes, right? He changed the name to Noldor for whatever reason, although early editions of The Hobbit still call them such.
>>43819870
Looks a little light up top for good slave stock. You sure those are real elves and not some famine ridden ethiopian stock?
>>43824444
Oh look, that shitty wish fulfillment fetish copypasta again. You HFYfags are as pathetic as you are predictable
>>43819940
That's why most settings seem to have high elves (highly magical, crystal towers and togas) and wood elves (live innawoods, dress in furs and are good at archery) as separate thing.
>>43821612
Considering elves typically live extremely long time and don't really age (a several hundred years old elves looks indistinqushable from one that's 30-something). they would have a relatively much larger amount of populace capable of having children (humans women are unable to have childen after they hit the menopause, but elves could remain fertile for centuries). They'd also likely have considerably lower child mortality, due to magic being more commonplace and elves just being Better Than You (tm). Those factors could easily be enough to offset a longer gestation period and slower maturing rate. Infact, unless elves practice a lot of birth control or regularly fight wars that either expand their territory or result in significant amount of their population dying before their natural lifespan runs out (even if elves are really good fighters, over several centuries of fighting there's a good chanse eventually somebody gets lucky and shoots an arrow through your skull), they'd suffer from huge overpopulation very quickly.
Also,
>5 years gestation period
What setting is this? I need to know for...Reasons.
>>43819919
Tolkien Elves are stronger than men, and it was never stated if Dwarves or Orcs compared to them.
Their only weakness was physical health linked directly to mental state, and low population.
Humans were not more advanced, Orcs and Dwarves had managed mass-production but not new technologies or interchangeable parts.
>>43824245
My Basalit-An.
>>43821150
"Magic" is science the common man can only replicate, not understand nor alter.
Knowing yogurt helps your stomach, and how to make yogurt, does not make one a microbiologist.
Slavery was banned at the second high convocation of archbishops in the 612th year since the shattering.
>>43824707
What? It fit his post. Honestly, that setting, when explored further, is less Humanity! Fuck Yeah! and more Humanity! What have we done we're out of our depth and have no idea where we're going or how to cope but there's also elves so that's kinda cool I guess, but we still have entire worlds on the brink of anarchy because we're SO not ready for a post-scarcity society!
>>43825519
Or..
Humanity, fuck anything YEAH!!!
See also
>>43823726
>>43825353
Their women were hideous, no wonder they spent all their time at war abroad.
>>43819870
>>Elves aren't kept as slaves
Because elves got the whole few but strong thing for a reason. You ain't fucking enslaving a half giant with superior intelligence.
>>43823726
>beholder
>mindflayer
>drider
Not compatiable without extensive magical help, and then it's really less an half-x and more an magical creature like owlbear and such.
>Monster girls XDDDD
Basically half human already, just becomes a human with a weird face.
>>43825519
>/tg/ constantly regurgitates the same "groundbreaking" concepts
You're only confirming my point
>>43826180
But why are they already half human, what animal creature did a human fuck?
Also
>beholder
>drider
>impossible to fuck?
You must not be a human...you sick twisted doppelganger I know your secret now
>>43824362
Secret human feat
Allows a human to fuck anything, even if it would be impossible, or an act against nature
>human left alone in a room with a rock, a tree, and half a meatball sub
>45 minutes later there is a golem, a treant. And an empty wrapper of the sub he just ate
>>43823266
nope
>>43826411
Might not have come from fucking. Turning human followers into theme-appropriate vaguely-monstrous people with special powers seems like an appropriate divine blessing (or curse) a god or goddess might bestow upon their faithful, for example.
>They numerically outnumber every other major race combined, by several times, so other races are quietly afraid and don't want to draw their ire. They might not be that strong or hardy, but they cannot die of aging or other typical natural causes, or sickness. Thus since the beginning of time, while plenty have died to accidents or violence, many many more have just managed to agelessly outlast everything. They are at constant war, either hot or cold, with humans though.
>Usually half-elves are the product of elves diluting human genealogy out of existence. When they can't officially or outwardly just kill a bunch of humans, they can intermix with them and prevent their lineage from continuing. Assumedly the half or other ratio elves can eventually pair with proper elves and over generations remove the human genes, though usually proper elves will just quietly disappear them behind the scenes.
>If anything, humans are kept as slaves.
>>43826585
So all of the monsters we fight are just the sheer number if diety blessed beings. It all makes sense now. The humans are taking over the world by evolving into forms to easily take over the oceans: mermaids
Skys: harpys and land: centaurs.
Humans will destroy everything in their conquest to own everything.
>>43826411
>>beholder
>>drider
>>impossible to fuck?
No, they are literally not fuckable since driders are mutant drow without any parts (let's not forget that spiders really have no actual sexual parts, it's basically just a patch they rub together.) and beholders are hermaphrodites, they have no fuckable part.
>>43823266
Far from it, anonAlthough I do still love Tolkien's elves,the Lorwyn/Shadowmoor elves are my favorite. Gilt-Leaf is actually just one of the Prefectures of Lorwyn (albeit the biggest).
>>43819870
There are no elves. The race is extinct.
>>43826224
I use an old concept
>It's shit
I try something new
>It's still shit
What do you want from me, here?
>>43819967
Just make her a household servant already, christ.
It's obvious she's incredibly uncomfortable with the idea of not working for you, and you're uncomfortable with the idea of owning a slave. She now associates "you're free" with "I want to get rid of you", which is not good for her sense of self-worth.
>>43821459
>If you don't give her children she will probably hang herself when you die married or not.
And why do you care, if you're dead and you don't have any children to be traumatized by her death?
>>43821567
>all Humans live in the Human Empire
why hello there WH40k
>>43819870
I have decided that the elves were a very ancient race, a wondrous, amazing people who built glorious city, but were SO GOOD they fell to stagnation and decadence, then humanity came, with it's stinky hordes, and won by sheer numbers and dwindled the elf population massively. Now, the elves exist alongside humans, not even with them, but alongside them, with as little interaction as possible, an entire race of autists. The younger elves got with the humans, though, and now there's half-elves but they're basically nothing but people with some odd facial features.
>>43819870
Actually my elves are somewhat Japo in flavor (honor duels, overdone robes, shamefur dispray, ramrod-in-ass style system of courtly etiquette) and they are at war with the Dwarves who take after the Chinese in that they are industrious, legalistic, love repeating crossbows and xenophobic as hell.
>>43819870
>Elves aren't in a continuous war with every other race
Because we've put them on a resevation.
>Half-elves aren't products of rape
Used to be. Now we're self-sustaining.
>Elves aren't kept as slaves
No. That would be Humans, in the concentration camps.
Explain why your Half-Elves are so shit, OP.
>>43827162
>implying cultures don't differ from planet to planet and different cultures don't have different cultures ON those planets
>>43819870
Rebuttal
Fuck you
In conclusion
Eat a dick
>>43819940
Don't use your limitations as the basis to judge others
>>43819870
>Mixing male and female slaves.
Unless the men are castrated or the women are infertile that is a poor decision.
>>43819919
>african bunga bunga
Are you from Italy? You realize it is an indonesian expression?
>>43819870
>Elves aren't in a continuous war with every other race
mainly because all the other races are either content living in the mountains and deserts, which the Elves have no need for, or because the BTFO the elves off their ancestral homeland forcing them to flee east to the other side of the continent.
>Half-elves aren't products of rape
Because the only ones capable of making half elves is the race that BTFO them in a near genocidal war/crusade led by their god-king against the elves and their gods
>Elves aren't kept as slaves
they are, but only in the kingdom of Miyoa, who seceded from the main empire, and slavery of non-humans is looked down in the main kingdom because the world belongs to them, and no one else
