Alright you lazy whoreson bastards! On your feet! Scans show an inbound Tau strike force, prepare to take defensive positions!
>>43805235
>wakes up and pushes herself to her feet next to 'Battleaxe'.
They're here already? We might not even be able to get the second Chimera down at this rate.MY MAD MINUTE IS READY.
>>43805277
I wouldn't worry too much. We'll get fire support from the ship.
I am here fellow human. What do you command me to do in order to repel these honorable Tau scum?
>>43805296
Danger Close Orbital Support, at least if the Gunners screw up we won't be around to regret it.
I'm more worried about the Tau shooting our Valkyries down.
>>43805323
Tell me in exact detail about our plan
>>43805327
At just 3000 feet?
*looks up*
Oh! Looks like it went up to orbit last night. Nevermind. We'll just do this the old fashioned way.
*gets on an entrenched autocannon*
>Clicks as he walks towards the Chimera, hauling behind him a large yet mysteriously empty box.
>>43805382That was my fault, in a balls to the hull display of Imperial Incompetence I forgot the ship was in-atmo, still, when the enemy has bigger gund than you, you don't want to be in-atmo.
We'll hold the line then, if we must we shall also die standing. It's simply what we do.
>cocks her Bolter.>inb4 Dolan or Ron with a cock joke and they eat many cannon rounds.
>>43805388
>All of the Chimera's hatches are closed, Alice is standing infront of the rear hatch.
Enginseer! Troops needed your help setting up a gun emplacement on the left flank!
+++INCOMING TRANSMISSION+++
Humans, this is Shas'O'Feir, commander of the Fal'Shia, Fire Caste forces deployed in this sector.
I've beeb tasked to overwhelm ypur recently established landing zone as a reprisal for the murder of innocent Tau Empire civillians and guerilla attacks against our outposts. After a brief scan, it has come to my knowledge that my forces overwhelm yours, and your ship's personnel, ten to one, you can not hope to win in a firefight.
But, by ethereal mandate, I am forced to give you a chance to surrender peacefully and without bloodshed.
Accept and no harm will be done to you, you will be exchanged as hostages to the Imperium or integrated as proud members of the Tau Empire to serve the Greater Good.
Deny, and I will meet you in combat.AntagAnon reporting for duty.
>>43805429
As we always do... *to loader* we got some high-ex rounds there? We do? Good.Yeah don't worry about that. If the Navigator pulled it back into space that solves the problem of whether Tau aircraft come to attack it or not.
Also phone fucking my grammar because fucking computer won't connect to captcha service.
>>43805458
We should listen to this wise Shas'O I think he speaks the truth
>>43805458
*fires burst of autocannon fire in direction of sound*
HOW IS IT THAT WE HAVE NOT MADE THOSE LITTLE BLUE SHITS EXTINCT YET?!
>>43805458
>Replies with a series of insults blasted through the Voxcaster in Binary.
>"By the way, mind if I borrow a few of the things your men have inevitably left lying around? I'll return it. Really."
>That was in binary as well.
>>43805429
*"Setting up gun emplacement Ensign."*
>>43805486
*Points out soldier to Gary for base heresy.*
HALLOW!So, what did you guys do to the blueberries?
>>43805468
>>43805458
>raises a hand to her combead.
Sergeant, Tau Commander is on the Vox, says he wants us to surrender. You're in charge of the Offensive here, what's your word?
Beep boop!Your favorite servo skull is back! What have I missed?
>>43805504We has Steam Group Naoh. Also 1D4Chan wikipage updated.
>>43805494
Eh? I can't speak binary, can you day it again in Low Gothic?
>>43805497
"It's appreciated, this isn't going to get any easier."
>>43805517got a link to the 1d4chan page?
>>43805525https://1d4chan.org/wiki/Campaign:Penal_regiment_designation_/tg/
We're currently at the "Tropical Holydays" saga, which is empty as we've just arrived.
>>43805502
Tell him he's about to take the steel dick of Imperial ordinance right to his head-pussy!
>>43805497
He'll change his mind when the rounds start flying!
>>43805498Killed them in the most sadistic of warcrime fashion!
>>43805548
Shoot?
>>43805548
Beep boop?
>Flies around the group awaiting orders
>>43805561
Pick the ones that look fancier, shoot them!
>>43805568
Go hide somewhere! You're too useful. Unless you can find a way to add to the fire!
>>43805583
>flies off towards the techpreist and hides behinds his red robes and mechadendrites
>>43805576
KAY! uhhhh Spotter?QQ bad timing, gotta go
>wakes up locked in a bunker
Oh, my head... I thought we got rid of hangovers...
>>43805544No mention of a helpfull servo skull, why live
>>43805599I am locked in a bunker, right?
>several "skitarii" wander aimlessly around the dropzone, occasionally losing a body part before reattaching in
>>43805617Yes, but perhaps you can break out...
>>43805614Each added him/her/itself into the character list, feel free to do so.
>Watching through binoculars.
The Gue'la seem to be fortifying their landing zone.
>Sighs and retires binoculars.
Very well then, if it is a fight they want...
Prepare the energy cannons, there's no point in wasting lives trying to pass through machine gun fire against an entrenched position. Keep the hammerhead tanks at the frontline for if they try a counter attack. I want fire teams deployed around those cannons and the Kroot auxiliary sweeping the surrounding areas in case they try to flank or use guerilla tactics against our artillery fire.
I'm on my phone so I'm not gonna bother to spoiler cause I'll screw it up, but I'll be off and on. Consider me Manning turrets and fixing shit.
>>43805548
>>43805458
Aye.
>clambers onto the Chimera and opens the
>raises her voice slightly to be heard.
Commanders hatch to take the Vox set.
"Now you listen here Commander 'Feir', we've heard your offer and while some of these idiots might find it tempting, we're no common rabble. We, are the children of Praetoria, of Catachan, of Vostroya and Valhalla, of Elysia and Cadia, of Armageddon and of Mars. We've fought through the many wars Armageddon, Vraks, Kronus, Lorn V, thirteen of the Traitors Black Crusades not to mention the Horus Heresy, yet still we survive. Quality is more important than Quantity, and you are woefully outclassed.
Die well."Well I just signed our death warrants. WHATEVER YOLO
>>43805682
Shas'O perhaps we can send in a few squads of drones in order to see what type of weapons and defences they have
Rolled 92 (1d100)
>>43805599
>still rubbing his head
How did I get here? The last thing I remember was... oh c'tan dammit.
>purges morphine from his system
That's better. Now let's see about melting this lock.
>>43805691
>Through Vox
It is, indeed, a shame that you decide to waste such brave lives in a desperate defensive attempt.
ARTILLERY! FIRE AT WILL!
>>43805682
*sees line of 3 hammerheads*
You, with the rocket launcher! Target those tanks!
>>43805701
We will not waste potential resources until we cripple them, Shas'vre, once our artillery softens them, we shall.
>>43805717
>the lock was, in fact, not locked. The door swings open easily
>artillery fire shakes the ground
What did Hank do this time?
>>43805729
As you command Shas'O. Should I notify the Ethereal about our advance against the gue'la defences?
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43805682
>>43805721
>>43805722
Aye, Sarge! Targeting the middle one!
*fires rocket*
>>43805735
>looks around, sees wellsley and approaches her
Greetings, miss. Did I miss anything important while I was... indisposed? The fire raining from the sky is new.
>>43805741
>Runs away from the unholy screeching of metal and rocket fuel that used to be the Rocket Launcher.
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>43805741
*tube explodes, killing the trooper*
THROOOONEDAMMIT!! Alright loader, pass me that high-ex!
*loads it, fires at hammerhead*All these natural 1s man...
>>43805739
Affirmative.
>>43805741
Tell them that this will be over soon.
Rolled 8 (1d20)
>>43805761
>A hammerhead is hit and gets inmovilized by the shot.
>All three Hammerheads answer by shooting their guns to aid the artillery on destroying the trenched defenses.
>>43805770
I will include that in my report shas'O. By the way our Earth Caste technician has to report that your enforcer battlesuit is ready to launch.
>>43805751
>before the ensign can answer, Nyzart turns and begins walking towards the Catachan
Hello Gary. Is there anything I can assist with?
>>43805800
Vox him that I'm on my way. I leave you in charge of the operation until I return.
Rolled 5, 11, 9 = 25 (3d20)
>>43805788
HAHAHAHAHA! KEEP FIRING YOU MILKSOPS! FOCUS ON THOSE TANKS, THEN THE INFANTRY! KILL EM ALL!extra dice for other guns
>>43805821
What the fuck! How did you get out?! Nevermind, make your metal xeno ass useful and help kill these Tau!
Rolled 2, 14, 7 = 23 (3d20)
>>43805825
>>43805788
DID I SAY STOP FIRING?! KEEP FIRING!
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>>43805721
>>43805729
"Well you seem to be a fairly competent Commander at least, shame we couldn't fight against a common enemy....as the Emperor wills it....I really hope Shas'O Feir survives. He's a good guy. NOT A DAMNED HERETIC LIKE -THOSE- TWO BRBRBRBRBRBRBBRBR
>>43805751
Tau are beginning their offensive, can you get your Skitarii down here?
>The usual pair of Praetorian Valkyries fly into the clearing at perilously low altitude.
>The Troop Transport, slightly ahead stops only long enough to unload six men and a stack of crates before flying back the way it came.
>The Vehicle Carrier doesn't even stop, dropping the Kronus-Pattern Chimera before turning to follow it's fellow.
>The Troopers make a dash for the Chimera amid the shelling and board it quickly, then move it towards the front.
>While this is happening, 'Battleaxe fires it's cannon towards the Tau lines, at a Hammerhead specifically.Only 1d20 because the Tau lines are still out of Heavy Bolter range
Rolled 10, 6, 12, 2, 6 = 36 (5d20)
>>43805842
Xeno? I know not what you mean anyways, I will be happy to help.
>programs the "skitarii" to begin a defensive firing pattern on the tau vehicles
Wait a second, what do you mean how did I get out? The door was unlocked. I thought you put me in there to sleep off that morphine.rolling for gauss blasts
>>43805863
Ensign! Take command of the defensive line and get those tanks knocked out! I'm about to go all Sly Marbo on their rearguard!
*takes plenty of detonation charges, extra ammo, attaches silencer to shotgun, disappears into dark thicket*
Rolled 96 (1d100)
>>43805863
Of course. They exist to serve, after all.
>begins programming a movement pattern for the warriors.
>>43805897I guess I'm on a *roll* today, huh?
>the warriors join Gary in sneaking behind enemy lines
>The immovilized hammerheads suffers heavy damage and the other two put themselves before incoming fire and it as its crew gets out and retreats.
XV8-05 Battlesuit, ready.
Status report!
>>43805870
>Walks up to Nyzart and begins speaking in Binary.
>"Hey, do you have a net launcher, or atleast something like a net? I've got a Cameleoline cloak that I...errhm, acquired, and all I need now is a net launcher to...assist in my acquirements. For a Magos. Honest."
Oh boy....
Where the fuck am i now?!! Why is the weather always exoplody in this planet? I thought this was a paradise world.
>>43805910
*rolls eye* They're not gonna help me stay stealthy, but then again, they might provide a diversion. Just gotta keep some distance from them.
And there's their rearguard...AntagAnon, what is there in the rearguard?
>>43805924
>proffers a small metal tube with a button on it
Here. Point this at any object and it will store it digitally for you until you choose to project it again. It holds up to 1000 pounds, but don't use it on organics. Things get a little messy.
Rolled 12, 4 = 16 (2d20)Roll for equipment and armor
Why does my gear always disappear when i go to sleep?
God damn it.
Rolled 17 (1d100)
>>43805952rolling for space skeleton stealth skills
Rolled 31 (1d100)
Their fire is centered in our tanks as predicted.
>Over Vox.
Air caste, begin the bombing run and deploy the drones as you strike. Kroot auxililiary, prepare for the charge once the Air Caste finishes bombarding. Fire Warriors you will give the kroot fire support as they engage the enemy in melee. XV-88 Broadside battlesuits take positions over the fallen Hammerhead, cover its crew evacuation. Hammerheads charge forward, XV-8 Battlesuits WITH ME!
>Flies towards the battleline.Rolling for bombardment from Air Caste Bombing run.
>>43805952Kroot, vespid and 2 fire warrior squads.
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>43805974
Ive got a laspistol with 3 power packs and a combat knife. And i see someone stripped me down to my flak vest and underwear.
Great...
I bet those stiff lipped praetorians did this.
Wait a minute, whats this?Roll for special item
Rolled 16, 16, 4, 6, 20 - 5 = 57 (5d20 - 5)
>>43805996
> without a degree of thought, the warriors begin firing on the rearguard as soon as they are in range, coincidentally distracting them from Gary
>>43806009
Sweet!! Its a cardboard box!
>>43806016That's a big distraction.
>>43805954
>Nods, then unfurls the Cameleoline cloak and wraps it around himself before following the path that Gary had taken earlier, his large box carried infront of him.Yes, I know the box is not invisible and would look like it's just floating in mid-air.
Rolled 29, 37, 100 = 166 (3d100)
>>43805996
Them Necrons are making noise alright, nows the time.
*sets some charges on important looking things, stabs a nervous fire warrior in the back, pulls back into thicket, climbs tree*
Ow... still feeling what that damn Chaos Marine did to my side. Alright now.
*blows charges, rolling for blast size*
>>43806020
Im going serpent eater all of in this place.
Time to see what were up against.
Emperor i hope its Daemonette's. If im gonna die alone behind enemy lines i would like to motorboat some titties.
>>43806065
>Turns around as a massive explosion pushes normal troops to the ground.
>Instantly recognizes what's blown up.
The Second wave XV104 Riptide Battlesuits!
Warriors! Press on the attack!
>Flies towards the blown up stronghold.
Rolled 42 (1d100)
>>43806052
>Sets down the box a fair distance away from the firing NotSkitarii, before pulling out Nyzart's Digital Deconstructor and lying in wait...
Rolled 16 (1d20)
*Peers out into a rock*
*spots 3 fire warriors engaging friendlies*
Oh its those Tau blue-tards again.
*stealth mode activate.*
>hails command bridge of the Uncanny Redemption
This is technical priest Nyzart Finniticus requesting monoblade drop, repeat, please send down the monoblade. I can do repairs down here.
>>43806065
Corpsman Jackson Reporting, Sir!!
>>43806093
Why does everything go FUBAR when I sleep in?
Rolled 6 (1d20)
>>43806109
*sneakly approached fire warriors from behind grabbing one into a chokehold*
*points lasgun into other warriors*
Freeze fuckers! or his blue dome becomes crimson.
[spoilers]what color are tau's blood again?[/spoiler]
Rolled 2, 15 = 17 (2d20)
>>43806142
*fire warriors engaged dolan, shooting their comrade*defensive roll and counterattack
Rolled 17, 14, 20, 13, 3 = 67 (5d20)
>>43806142
>the "skitarii" begin firing on the fire warrior squad
>>43806093
*laughs malevolently*
Hah hah hah... Eat that.
*gets down, skirts destruction to find enemy commander*
Rolled 12, 6, 15, 8, 15 = 56 (5d20)
>>43806123
Well if no one is using it.
*Runs over to the entrenched heavy bolter and begins fireing into the charging Tau*
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>43806163
*Dolan took some minor damage from tau fire. He rolled away and fired his laspistol dropping the heretical xenos on the ground*
Ow, damn it.
*approches bleeding xeno*
YOU! UGLY MEDKIT!
>Lands at the center of a gigantic crater into which the hangar housing the riptides once was.
>Watches all the dead Tau, Kroot and Vespid whose bodies still remain covered by the ashes.
Who did this?
This is not the kind of attacks we've been suffering until now!
>Keeps following the trail of bodies until finding one dead before the explosion, and examines its wounds.
A cut of this size...
Catachan!
>Rises up. Aiming its guns on the surrounding trees and bushes.
SHOW YOURSELF! I KNOW YOU'RE STILL HERE, GUE'LA!
>>43806173I believe that the shas'o is assaulting *our* lines
>Nyzart's vox crackles to life
"Affirmative, techpriest. Monoblade drop is underway.
Rolled 10, 6, 16, 11, 5, 11, 14 = 73 (7d20)I'm back, sorry about that. Something minor came up but it's dealt with.
>Both of the Chimera's unload their weapons into the Advancing XV-8's, Autocannons hammering away at the Cockpits while the Heavy Bolters attack the limbs.So dilema. Kronus-Pattern has 2 HB's and an AC(A Heavy Stubber too but that'll do piss all against XV-8's). Should I really roll seven Dice or just one for each AC and one for each vehicle's HB's, which would be four? If the consensus is four then subtract the last three rolls and only use the first four.
>>43806173
>Disappointedly puts away the Digital Deconstructor as he loots the dead Tau in Gary's wake, tossing them into the box.
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>>43806188
*the filthy xenos burbles and dies*
Some help you are.
*scrounges for something to treat his wounds.*
>>43806198oops, messed up those spoilers [/spoilers]
Rolled 4 (1d20)
>>43806206
*Dolan found a canister containing a weird blue substance and some bandages.*
I wonder if i should slap this to my plasma burn wounds?
>>43806220sonovabitch
>>43806197
*grins even bigger, place a charge on a tree trunk, moves back, throws rock close to tree trunk. Prepares a krak grenade*
>>43806227
*Hesitating Dolan threw away the filthy xeno substance into the ground. He shuddered to think what would the praetorians, would accuse of him next if they found out that he rubbed some filthy xenos substance into his glorious human skin. Not kinky*
*he then proceeded to bandage up his right arm.*
Alrighty *picks up tau pulse rifle*
Lets get it on!
Rolled 19, 69 = 88 (2d100)
*Sees XV-8's getting closer*
*Sees HB ammo running low*
Fuck it. I ain't dealing with this.
*Runs through the trenches looking for some sort of heavy weapon*
[spoilers]Rolling to find something big and explodey [/spoilers]
Rolled 75 (1d100)
>>43806198rolling for usefulness of monoblade drop location
>>43806197
>over vox
Shas'O there is a pathfinder team near you vicinity, should I have them dispatch thier recon drone?
>>43806253
>Fires minigun and missiles towards the sound but does not move.
I'm tired of fighting you catachan types! You make for great warriors but you lack discipline.
>Begins burning the surrounding flora with flamethrower as the XV8-05 suit sensor's look for movement.
>>43806264Damn spoilers
Rolled 8 (1d20)
*Dolan spots what seems to be a hanger and proceeded to the facility.*
Hmm?
*expecting resistance, dolan was suprised to see enemy corpses littered around*
OH COME ON!! AT LEAST LEAVE SOME FOR ME!!
Guess i'll look around some more.
Rolled 11, 3, 1, 8, 20 = 43 (5d20)
>>43806282
>the "skitarii" fire on the shas'o, attempting to force him into cover
*i put on my robe and wizard hat*
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>43806266
>the monolith falls inside the defensive lines
Now to get this thing running again.
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>43806264
Alright. Melta charges. They're no missile launcher but they can work.
*sprints into tree line*rolling for what I find
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>43806292
Ah great more corpses.
>>43806282
uh-oh! Someones going postal.
I guess i'll go check it out. But im going all sneaky like...
>>43806280
Negative Shas'Vre! This one is mine!
>That last statement sounded as poisonus as a tyrannid neurotoxin.
Sound the retreat, our forces need to regroup. I'll rejoin you once I'm done.
Ca'ncer... if I don't return...
>Reloads missile launchers
If I don't return in an hour, take command, send the invaders back and evacuate the towns nearest to the jungles. That is an order.
Rolled 53 (1d100)
>>43806294
>The battlesuit tanks all shots, but one manages to hit its syatems and they manage to turn his attention towards the Necrons.
>Fires missiles at NecronsRollan for explosiin size and damage
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>43806282
*chuckles to himself because an officer from off world once said the exact same thing to him, gets into a deserted burrow, emerges a distance away, just within throwing range*
I love my job.
>>43806327
*throws krak grenade at battlesuit's back*
Rolled 17 (1d20)
*Dolan spots a flamboyantly clad blue xeno, firing weapons all flimsy like. Engaging whats seems to be skitarii.*
You're not the only one that gonna tear this place up. *fires unto the tall blue ballerina*
Rolled 4, 7 = 11 (2d20)
>>43806318
*Bursts into a clearing and runs into the enemy commander*
SON OF A FUCK!!
>>43806327
At least your outta missiles
*chucks a melta charge and runs for cover*first is for effectiveness the of charge the 2nd is for cover
>>43806346
*pulse shot lands into the blue alien, staggering it but it doesn't drop*
Oh come on!
>>43806347
*it bounces off, airbursts*
Dammit!
*low crawls away through underbrush*
Rolled 16 (1d100)
>>43806314
Well, I got the movement systems working. Anybody have a nanowrench?
Rolled 7, 13 = 20 (2d20)
>>43806347
>>43806352
>Explosions occurring all arounddefensive rolls
>>43806327
As you wish Shas'O I will sound the order for retreat. And may the the greater good guide your actions commander. The rendezvous site will be in section 5/C I will have the Ocra dropship on standby. It will leave in ETA one hour.
Rolled 18, 3 = 21 (2d20)
>>43806352
*The charge sails over him doing no damage*
FUCK!! How'd I miss! I was so close!!
*Hides behind a pile of dead Tau*
Well I better thank Gary for this 'amazing' coverrolling for shooting with hellgun
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43806370
Come on you infested blue-waffle die!!
*fires another pulse salvo.*
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>Enables jet boosters
>Spins in the air
>Fires minigun.
I'M GETTING TIRED OF THESE CAT AND MOUSE GAMES!
>>43806346
>three of the warriors are taken down, but soon begin rising to their feet once more
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>43806399
*Ducks for cover.*
Who the fuck is it talking to?
>>43806399
>Continues looting the dead Tau, oblivious to all the gunfire and explosions around him.
Rolled 20 (1d20)
>>43806405
*Dolan ducks but his stolen enemy weapon was destroyed and so was 3 of his fingers on his left hand*
Oh fuck you!!
*attempts to shoot down flying blueberry with a laspistol*
Rolled 4 + 7 (1d20 + 7)
>>43806399
*hunkers down under tree from fusilade*
Rolled 10, 4, 5, 14 = 33 (4d20)
>>43806346
>The Kronus-Pattern Chimera continues firing at the Tau forces, while the Standard-PatternI have no idea what pattern the generic one actually isvehicle moves from it's position and heads towards Shas'O Feir's position.Rolling for the Kronus' weapons, including the HS now.
Rolled 2, 12 = 14 (2d20)
>>43806399
*Get's smaller behind cover*
I hate these stupid things
>>43806405
*Dolan lands next to him*
Hey you found Gary's Amazing cover too.
*Starts firing back with hellgun*
>>43806366
>the weapon systems lock up, requiring a manual override
I'll have to plug in to fix this one, don't let me get vaporized while I'm out, would you?
>>43806425
*jet pack explodes and target plumpets into the ground.*
>>43806427
*ricochet hits augmetic arm, scuffs plating*
What if I...
*looks out in time to see Dolan make an amazing shot*
Rolled 6, 11, 2 = 19 (3d20)
>>43806425
>jet booster energy route hit.
>Begins falling down out of control, but lands unscarred given the low height.
There you are catachan!
>Unloads minigun into Dolan's direction
>>43806399
*teleports behind u*
*pulls out the master emerald*
"CHAOS CONTROL"
*time stops for u*
*shoots you with two desert eagles gangsta style*
>Over vox
*sounds of engines in the background*
Shas'O I just spoke with our earth caste team, they said they had a failsafe detonator installed into your suit. If it comes down to it then you know what to do. Good luck sir, and don't keep the Ocra pilots waiting. They are eager to hear your next debriefing.
Rolled 19, 5, 18, 13, 16 = 71 (5d20)
>>43806402
>the warriors continue bathing the battlesuit in gauss-fire
>>43806443
*startled*
OH TERRA!! Don't sneak up on me like that. Wait is gary's here? Did you know if he was the one who took my pants?
>>43806433we're actually behind all the Tau lines, were the Tau stronghold once was.
>>43806459At least roll.
Rolled 9, 20 = 29 (2d20)
>>43806457
OH CRAP!!! Emprah save me!Jumps into cover and returns fire.
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43806457
It offends me that he'd mistake that guy for a Catachan!
*throws another krak grenade*
Rolled 9 (1d20)
>>43806443
*a few shots hit it's leg but does nothing too bad*
>>43806466
>>43806457
OH!! FUCK!! DOLAN YOU"VE DONE IT NOW!!!!
*chucks last Melta bomb at the charging commander *
>>43806492
*Enemy fire took out one of dolans augmented legs, but manages to hit the xenos in the chest*
OH CRAP!!! Not again.
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>43806498
*grenade fizzles out, about to misfire*
Oh fuck me!
*dives behind rock, grenade explodes*
Rolled 8, 1 = 9 (2d20)
>>43806500
*Runs to new cover*
the emperor protects. the emperor protects. the emperor protects. OWW FUCK HE DIDN'T PROTECT THAT ONE!!!
*falls to the ground behind a tree starts firing the hellgun again*
Rolled 60 + 20 (1d100 + 20)
>>43806445
>attempts to override the monolith's weapons
Rolled 15 (1d20)
>>43806460
>Red lights start beeping inside the suit as it starts suffering critical damage from the hostile fire barriage.
I'm afraid there won't be a next briefing for me, Shas'Vre, tell the Orca pilots to evacuate our forces, I'm taking as many as I can with me.
For the Greather Good.
>Reroutes energy.
ALL SYSTEMS ENERGY TO MAIN WEAPONS!
>Enables self-destruction sequence, but keeps firing as the countdown goes down, Ignoring most of the incoming gunfire.
Rolled 16 (1d20)
>>43806521
*misses*
Today just isn't my day
*Pulls out heavy flamer*
I am going to kill this dude to deathrolling for a effective flamethrower attack
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>43806518
>>43806457
That was a close one. Alright, let's try something else!
*chucks det-pack at O'Fier*
>>43806508
>Glares in annoyance at the injured Dolan distracting him from his looting, before meandering over, brandishing his medicae mechadentrides.
Rolled 12 (1d20)
>>43806549
*it lands on ground nearby the enemy*
Damn. Whatever.
*blows it, 17 or more and commander is caught in it*
>>43806543
It's been an honour of serving under your command Shas'O. Your sacrifice for the greater good and the Tau Empire will be remembered.
>>43806544
Yeah! I actually hit something!
>>43806543
*get's pinned behind the tree*
Someone help... please.
>>43806568
Gary the explosions are getting closer to US.
The detective sits in a chair in front of a desk covered in inquisitorial bricabrac. Behind it sits a youngish but slightly plastic-looking woman in inquisitors garb - the result of a botched rejuv treatment.
"So, Acolyte, how is leg?" the woman asks, in a vaugely eastern european accent, clearly an affectation.
"Been better. I'm still trying to figure out how to get the oils and litanies right. Works well enough, though. Wish I had one of my techpriests here to show me - that one you've got is constantly swilling ethanol."
"Thinking of them as yours already, are we?"
"Well, ma'am, when you've been in the shit with them, it's kind of hard not to. Though I do wonder about all the secrecy - they aren't your average penal legion. "
"Well, that is the thing. It is for the best when no one is of expecting you. You are to be apporting in behind the Foe with personal killteam and engaging them in close .. oh dear."
"Inquisitor?"
"It appears someone has beaten us to stab-makings, and now the foe is of fleeing. Nevertheless, prepare yourself for close-quarters." She looks disdainfully at his shock gauntlet, and places a Munitorium-pattern Power Sword on the table.
"It's the Catachan, isn't it? My great grandmother was one of them. I still have nightmares."
"I do not know the exact composition of these men, but you must be of tellings me how you get Necrons to kill for Emperor when we are next meeting."
The detective gets a deer in the headlights look for a minute, then composes himself.
"You didn't know?" she asks.
"N..no."
"Well, then your mission is now changed. I want you to determine who and how Necrons have become of serving Emperor." The inquisitor goes to her bookshelf and places a large book on the table as well. The "BIG BOOK OF NECRONS"
"You have readings to do. Keep the sword, though. It is simply unthinkible one of my proteges should not have proper melee weapon."
"Yes, Inquisitor."
Rolled 31 (1d100)
>The countdown goes down as the armor enters into critical.Rollan for blast Radious.
Inb4 natural one.
>>43806539
>"weapons systems online."
Beautiful. Now it's time to get to work.
>begins floating towards the heaviest fighting, occasionally atomizing an unlucky fire warrior or kroot
Rolled 17, 12 = 29 (2d20)
>>43806583
*blind fires around the tree with hellgun*
I should have just found a tank and sat in it but noooo I gotta try and be a hero. I hate myself.
Rolled 1 (1d20)
>>43806583
No kidding!
*fires shotgun at hip joint in battlesuit*
>>43806565
Whos that! Wait!! Get back here you walking pile of tubes! I Neeed assistance!!!
>>43806585F U N
U
N
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43806610
*Hits power pack*anything above 15 cuts all power
>>43806585
[spoilers]Yes, the book does have pictures. Sorry I can't stay and play for now, but i'll be back when I can[/spoiler]
>>43806612today just isn't your day
>>43806475I see. This is indeed a problem. This is indeed a problem that will cause more problems. However with the Tau forces retreating it -may- cause less problems that it otherwise might.
>>43806543
>The Chimera, now sporting several new battlescars and a suspiciously Rail-Rifle munition shaped hole in the Commanders hatch rolls up to the group with a somewhat bleeding Alice manning the pintle weapons.
>Seeing the doomed Shas'O, she grabs the transmitter for the Chimera's megaphone.
"Hold fire! Hold Fire!"
Rolled 7 (1d20)
>>43806604
Crap!! *Digs like a molerat.*
Jackson get back in here
>>43806612
*shotgun explodes, damaging augmetic arm*
Unbelievable. But I guess I haven't cleaned it in forever...
>>43806604
*hears whine of suit overcharging*
Uh-oh.
*gets behind boulder*
Rolled 13 (1d20)
>>43806607
>the monoblade engages a squad of vespids. They cannot hope to penetrate its armor but they move fast enough to give the targeting computer a hard time
*Enters leading a squad of men*
"And that's why men you must always get the right amount of sleep you never know when shenanigans like this will creep up! FIX BAYONETS!"
>>43806664
>>43806667
*Contemplating the silliness of the idea Dolan decided to grab cover in a big boulder next to gary*
Hey gary.
>>43806656Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu. The spoiler mang. The spoiler.
>>43806691
*lights lho with exasperated sigh*
*spots something odd about a hundred meters further into forest*
The Tau are retreating and the guardsmen are persuing them away from the landing zone. Just As Planned.
Now, my minions, charge into the position whilst their guns are aimed at the foul xenos, I shall open us a rift back to the warp!
>Word Bearers charge both sides of the conflict as the Sorcerer begins to open the warp rift.
Keep them off me, brothers. I need time to open our way back home
>>43806678
>after a moment of hesitation, most of the insectoids are cut down and the rest flee
>hails wellsley's chimera
Ensign, do you require my assistance? I am standing by to provide support.
>>43806714
That was my kill right?
So uh... Come here often?
>>43806691
*Falls behind the same boulder*
What were you yelling Dolan?
Oh hey Gary
>>43806691
>Grabs Dolan whilst holding his two detached bionic legs, turning on the Medicae Saws and syringes...
Rolled 6, 7, 19 = 32 (3d20)
>>43806722
> the molecular whip lashes out at a group of berserkers
Rolled 88 + 15 (1d100 + 15)
>>43806742Forgot to roll.
Rolled 2, 9, 9, 14, 12, 9, 8, 8 = 71 (8d20)
>>43806722
>>43806727
>Both Chimera's start firing everything they have at the Word Bearers troops.
"Nyzart, we've got more of that Sorcerors troops inbound, acquire targeting solutions and get firing! And try and contact the Tau, they'll be as acrewed as we are if we don't get more guns firing on those Heretics!"
Rolled 30 (1d100)
>>43806736
>ignores him, walks toward the shape nestled in tangled underbrush
>It's something big, under a large tarp
>yanks stiff, moldy tarp away to reveal...
Rolled 2 (1d20)
>>43806745
>Humming pop goes the weasel.
>Crouches down.
>Holds Rocket Launcher.
>Aims at Monolyth.
>Fires
>>43806750
Can you give me rocket knees this time?
>>43806738
Oh i was just telling you to take cover cause that tau was about to explode.
>>43806763as screwed*
>>43806767
Hey gary be careful there might be bats in there! And get me some trousers!!
Rolled 19 (1d20)
>>43806768
A pox on ye, plague marine!
>>43806768
>Rocket launcher explodes between his hands and falls down, his rotten corpse not feeling a thing.
Well. That escalated quickly.
Rolled 79 (1d100)
>>43806769
>>43806767
Can one of you see how bad the plasma burn on my back is?
Rolled 91 (1d100)
>>43806722
Blooming hell they've gone got them self some sort of hornet shaman, He's nuttier than Nathan the nut who attending nuttingham school for the exceedingly nutty. Gentlemen relieve him of his head!
>50 or below to supress
>>43806769
>Clicks in annoyance, before pulling out two krak missiles, ripping out the warheads and taping them to Dolan's reattached legs.
>>43806767
*...a standard Leman Russ, must have been here at least 20 years, abandoned by its unit for whatever reason, on its turret is painted the name: METAL SLUG*
Ooooh... this is a find.
*hears Berzerkers*
And timely too.
*jumps up on turret to rusty stubber*
>>43806786
Uhh.. I can see the burn, nut much of your back though.
>>43806750
Oh yeah i also lost 3 of my left hand fingers.
>>43806763
Affirmative
>hails the tau second in command
>>43806802
>Gary jumping in the tank wakes up Ron
Damn it, I came here to find some peace and quiet!
>>43806796
Sweet.
>>43806802
HEY GARY!! THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN THERE!!
>>43806805The roll is presumed to be for general fixery, rather than just focusing on a single bodypart. So yes it involves fixing your hands. Or atleast bandaging them.
>>43805235
Yo listen up here's a story
About a little guy that lives in a blue world
And all day and all night and everything he sees
Is just blue like him inside and outside
Blue his house with a blue little window
And a blue devilfish
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my devilfish, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I have a blue house with a blue window.
Blue is the colour of all that I wear.
Blue are the streets and all the trees are too.
I have a girlfriend and she is so blue.
Blue are the people here that walk around,
Blue like my devilfish, it's in and outside.
Blue are the words I say and what I think.
Blue are the feelings that live inside me.
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
Inside and outside blue his house
With the blue little window
And a blue devilfish
And everything is blue for him and himself
And everybody around
'Cause he ain't got nobody to listen to
I'm blue da ba dee da ba die...
I'm blue (da ba dee da ba die)
>>43806788Greetings fellow Praetorian Master Race Person!
Just thought I should tell you that combat rolls are d20's and skillish rolls are d100 with both being higher better. Just to help with any confusion.
By the way, Shas'vre wasn't me, so I won't answer the call for him for if he returns.
Rolled 2 + 5 (1d20 + 5)
>>43806805
Great. I'm going to hide in that tank with Gary and fix my back
*Jumps into the tank and starts putting burn cream and bandages on his back*
Rolled 31 + 15 (1d100 + 15)
>>43806832Oh so I should use D100 for medic rolls then
>>43806836
*rolling again*
>>43806836
Hey wait!
>>43806750
Thanks techpriest, i'll get you some mint condition tau drones later. *walks for the tank*
Rolled 14, 4, 9, 14, 19 = 60 (5d20)
>the warriors fire on the charging cultists
Rolled 10 (1d20)
>Continues opening the portal as bullets begin flying around.
Ah! YOU INCOMPETENT IMBECILES! CAN'T YOU EVEN KEEP A GROUP OF GUARDSMEN OUT OF MY SLEEVES?!
>The word bearers start shooting suppressing fire
>>43806851
>>43806836
Well at least it's covered.
>>43806863
>>43806802
So does anyone have formal driving training or should I take a crack at it?
>>43806802
*Looks in amazement*
Holy zombie in the golden throne.
*hugs tanks*
You are the most beautiful thing this galaxy has bothered to shit out.
>>43806884
Let me handle it.
*scurries in the drivers seat*
Rolled 18 (1d20)
>Runs back to Virmanthras' side as the rift begins to form, behaving as a meat shield against the incoming fire.
Home sweet home.
>Tosses plague grenade at the closest group of guardsmen.
Rolled 58 (1d100)
>>43806900
lets see.
Twist this thing here. Push that.
>>43806883
Advance, my minions!
>the dark portal/eternity gate creaks open
>>43806900
Alright.
*Slides into gunners seat*
Oooo. This is nice
Rolled 5 (1d20)
>>43806916
And this!
*kicks dashboard*
>>43806941
Try turning the key
>>43806925
>>43806941
>sitting in the back
I just wanted to take a nap where you people wouldn't find me.
Now you're going to get my napping place blown up.
>>43806836
>>43806802
*Wakes up in the back of the Leman Russ*
>>43806921
Too slow necron! We're going back home, brothers!
>Begins to be engulfed by the now open warp breach.
Rolled 20, 14, 4, 11, 11 = 60 (5d20)
>>43806883
>>43806913
>Alice and the Commander of the Kronus drop back into their turrets as the Word Bearers increase the volume of their fire, the rest of both vehicles weapons continue to fire away undetered however.
>>43806957
>turns to the Eversor
>silently edges away
>>43806954
Well if you don't want to die then get ready to hand me those shells
>>43806941
>Looks up from his looting yet again at all the awkward clanking noises from the rusted tank, before facepalming and heading over.
>>43806925
>>43806916
>>43806900
>>43806892
>>43806884
ALL RIGHT EASY YOU IDIOTS! Ron, stay in the loaders seat you lazy bastard!
Dolan, try the engine.
And Jackson, traverse and see if the gun still works.
COGBOYS! Get over here and make sure this thing still works! Fix it if it dont!
>>43806951
Oh right. *engine starts* okay.
>>43806954
Oh hi Ron, hey do you know who took my pants?
>>43806957
*Stares blankly in disbelief.*
Shhhh... no sudden movements.
>>43807000
>>43806975
*Breathes heavily*
*Shaking Uncontrollably*
>>43806957
What in the name of-? The hell is an Eversor doing in my tank?! Get out, numbnuts! There's enemies to kill out there!
>>43806964
Mark my words, sorcerer, you'll die by my hand be it on this day, or any in the future!we ham battle now
>>43806957
You're on the Lascannon. Seem like a good shot.
>>43806957
>>43806975
*Looks between the two of them*
*whispers* Whatever floats your boat.
>>43806991
Yes. SIR!!
*Starts hitting buttons and switches and the turret turns left*
>>43807025
Sarge im actually scared right now.
>>43807000
>>43807024
>>43807038
>back against the wall
You... Were not here when I fell asleep.
>>43807000Was about to say roll to see of it immediately dies, buy because you got trips, it starts up fine, if coughingly
>>43807055
Don't worry I don't think it's contagious
>>43807059
Ron i think he did things to you.
Bad things.
Check you zipper.
>>43807038
>>43807055
>>43807059
*Stops breathing*
*Mounts Lascannon*
*Still not breathing*
>>43806954>Guardsman.
>Admitting he was sleeping through a full on battle with both the Tau AND a damned WB Warband.
>Most of his superiors already hate him.
Ron's life expectancy is measured in Nanoseconda at this point.
>>43806957AND SO IT BEGINS.
>>43807038
>>43807055
Easy... get out. Slowly. Make your dog tags visible.
>>43807024
>Drops into the tank and notices the Eversor foaming at the mouth, looks back at the rusted interior and controls that are practically falling apart, then clicks in annoyance as he prints out a set of basic "Follow Techpriest, Do not kill Guardsmen, Savage xenos, heretics and hostile humans." instructions for the Eversor.
>>43807084
Well that solves that. Lets get rolling!! RON!! HAND ME A HE SHELL!!
>>43807037
>Laughs before crossing the portal completely.
I'm already dreaming on sending you back to your tomb permanently, Necron.
I must confess, I'll miss your empty Bravado once I'm done with you.
>>43807084
Hmmm...He gets on the hull mounted lascannon?
>>43807112
No he's our gunner. Get your own.
>>43807103
Sarge he's blocking the hatch. If i was wearing pants right now, they would be wet.
>>43807091Ensign Wellsley is pretty much the only person (barring maybe the Detective) that actually hates Ron
>>43807114
>picks up a shell, and hands it off
>>43807114
Quiet! *slaps him*
>>43807144
Alright, alright. Just relax then.
Sarge.. waiting for your order to rollout.
Were gonna get shredded in here, i just know it.
>>43807132
I found you in the warp once before. I will do it again.
>adds one more sentence before the portal closes
I bet you don't even know what a Blackstone fortress is
>>43807138yup
>>43807144
Stop pissing your self and start driving
>>43807150
*loads the shell* Were locked and loaded, Gary. Ready to move out on your order
>>43807138Yup, still not breathing
>>43807184
>>43807144
Stop pissing your self and start driving
>>43807150
*loads the shell* Were locked and loaded, Gary. Ready to move out on your order
>>43807189
*Checks pluse*
No he's alive. let's get going
>>43807084
>Plugs the datachip containing the instructions into the Eversor's neck, before ordering it to climb out and wait in binary.
>>43807184
>Clicks in rage at the gung-ho Corpsman whilst pointing at the rust and equipment that's practically falling apart whilst the engine continues sounding like a tortured cat.
>>43807175
>>43807184
Alright, get us outta here then. He's outside now, though I don't know why in the warp he's sitting on the lascannon
>>43807204
Fuck it! *floors accelerator*
WITNESS!!!
https://youtu.be/5YtGaba6rR4
>>43807212
Relax, cogboy. We'll get it to base, where you can work on it easily.
>>43807216he's manning the lascannon
Oh! We're leaving so soon? And with no souvenirs?
>Pulls a Necron skull out of the body of a fallen warrior, leaving it in his armor's belt
Hey! Necron! I'm up for a rematch our next encounter! Winner claims the souvenir!
>Jumps into the portal as it closes.
>>43807212
Well since your here start firing the heavy bolter side sponsors
>>43807212
>>43807216
>>43807204
*Climbs towards the top hatch, looks at Dolan and breathes heavily as he passes,your fairly certain he licked his lips beneath his mask too. Once outside just stands motionless on top of the turret*
>>43807236
Where are we going again?
