What kind of adventuring problems CAN'T be solved by killing someone or some thing?
>>43791276
Is this a photograph of a printed version?
The question of who's going to carry all the miscellaneous equipment and junk.
>>43791276
The abstract kind.
>>43791314
>stab a motherfucker pour encouragez les autres
>the survivors carry the stuff
Next quest.
>>43791276
When you have to capture the person alive
>>43791416
bullshit
>>43791276
Marrying into a gay transgender patrician family by wooing their daughters pet goatherd
>>43791446
>Who's standing in the way of your marriage?
>Stab them
>>43791276
Escaping from a very small room.
>>43791294
https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/2dycu7/cyanide_and_happiness_drew_my_dd_group/
>>43791501
>What's preventing you from leaving the small room
>door --> smash it
>monsters --> kill them
>no egress --> smash walls
>>43791501
stab the walls
Very sensitive political problems, or famine
>>43791526
>>43791529
Smashing walls doesn't count as killing someone or something.
Also, the room is so small that the party is forced to stand, packed like sardines in a can, and cannot reach their weapons.
>>43791555
Kill your party.
>>43791565
That fails the problem. It does not solve it.
>>43791545
>famine
decimate the populous. Less mouths to feed and more meat for those left
>>43791545
>Very sensitive political problems,
Are usually solved through assassination.
>or famine
Kill 10% of the population, the rest will have enough to eat now.
>>43791588
If you kill one party member, the rest now have enough room to reach their weapons or implements to breach the walls and escape.
Does destroying the undead count as "killing"?
>>43791610
Oh, yes. I worded my answer incorrectly.
Instead, let's try a different problem: gaining the favor of the god of pacifism.
A meteor is about to crash onto the world. inb4 kill everyone on the planet, that fails the problem.
>>43791529
Too bad that you're too weak for your stabs to actually do something to the walls.
>>43791646
You fool! They'll just kill the meteor!
>>43791646
I don't see how any adventuring party who wasn't already ascended gods could solve that in ANY way, irrespective of killing things.
>>43791637
Kill those who oppose pacifism
>>43791637
>gaining the favor of the god of pacifism.
Hmm, good one. But is there such a thing? And would such a favor be worth anything?
>>43791693
Oh, yeah, right, the religion of peace.
>>43791677
You can't kill a meteor.
>>43791682
Give a high level wizard a week or two and he could do it without any killing.
>>43791693
Horrified by your party's methods, the god sends his clerics to cast Imprisonment on the entire party.
>>43791719
>But is there such a thing? And would such a favor be worth anything?Depends on the setting.
>>43791722
Kill the clerics.
We can also kill animals to offer a sacrifice to the gods of pacifism, or kill our character's character so we can gain the god's favor
>>43791720
>Give a high level wizard a week or two and he could do it without any killing.
A meteor big enough to kill every single person on a whole planet, would be so large that I don't think a single wizard could do anything against it. Unless you have a DM who's very lenient with the Wish spell.
>>43791720
I've played Spelljammer.
You LIE.
>>43791719
>But is there such a thing? And would such a favor be worth anything?
As per the premise of the question, yes and yes.
>>43791693
>>43791761
This is the opposite of a solution. The point is to make the god like you. Violence is directly antithetical to the god's desires.
>>43791761
Why are you so obsessed with killing? Do you not understand that killing is the opposite of pacifism?
>>43791720
>You can't kill a meteor
Not with that attitude you can't.
>>43791682
Maybe not in D&D.
In something like Anima, a mid-level psychic could quite reasonably fire up his telekinesis and stop that meteor in it's tracks, as long as it didn't weigh more than 1,000,000 tons.
Then you've got systems like Exalted where a rogue meteor isn't even a minor crisis.
>>43791857
>>43791276
Clearing your name for the murdering you did before.
>>43791992
Is TES taught my anything, all you need to do is kill the witnesses
>>43791799
>>43791807
Killing is a necessity for us humans for we are savages by nature. I wish to appease the god, but what cost is appeasing the god if I must kill my own character to do so? Something that inhibits the inherit desire of man is something that must be struck down the same way the man who created it was opposed to: by killing.
I ain't need no divine blessing, I gone a long way without, and I can go into my ever so nearing end just as easily. Such is man.
>>43791276
Dueling with someone immortal.
>>43792015
Or kill your way to be the highest justice in the land. Name cleared.
>>43792015
Its not preventing people from finding out, your crimes are already out there. Its clearing your name from a crime you are actually guilty to.
>>43792057
Kill the judge, the jury and the executioner.
>>43792075
Good luck against Dredd, buddy.
>>43791276
An unconditionally immortal ascendant celestial being will smite you if you kill anything, but there's an assassin after the party who's out for your blood.I dunno why the celestial is there either, don't ask me.
>>43791807
Incorrect.
Pacifism is: opposition to war or violence as a means of settling disputes; specifically :refusal to bear arms on moral or religious grounds
Doesn't say anything about murder, just about fighting.
Murdering people in their sleep is perfectly pacifistic if they can't fight back. It's OK by the letter of the law, if not necessarily the spirit of it.
>>43791610
>Kill 10% of the population, the rest will have enough to eat now.
You've killed part of your workforce, who can't produce food anymore. Worst, your decimation caused panic and disorganised the whole population.
Famine still go on.
>>43792304
Then kill only the hermits, crippled, and senile old who would have no effect on the workforce and deaths would not drastically effect the population. Next quest.
>>43791610
Bodies don't disappear when you kill them, anon. This isn't GTA.
>>43792180
> You must declare war on pacifist extremists so that they doesn't murder you in your sleep.
>>43792022
Immortal doesn't mean invincible.
>>43791610
>Modest Proposal
Achieve immortality
>inb4 kill death
>>43791276
Ensure the survival of everyone including yourselves.
>>43792434
Kill people to absorb their life force staving off death indefinitely.
>>43792439
>what threatens your survival?
>kill it
>>43792380
>What kind of adventuring problems CAN'T be solved by killing someone or some thing?
>>43791276
The GM is being an ass and is physically stronger than you are. Also he's armed.
>>43792612
That means you need to draw first.
>>43791545
Kill anyone who would object.
Kill hoarders and share their food with the starving, or kill the most ill so their resources can be dispersed elsewhere.
>escape from a room
Kill yourself. Soul flees earthly bounds, ggnore.
>>43791799
Why do I need his favor? This seems like a solution in a greater problem. A problem which can more expediently be solved by murder.
>>43791276
Healing.
>>43792705
Too much healing sounds like the perfect problem to be solved with violence.
>>43792705
Heal the undead.
>>43792686
>Why do I need his favor?
While you guys were discussing this, I went and killed the god of Pacifism. It was pretty easy, really, guy didn't put up a fight at all.
>What's the next quest?
>>43791276
Always meeting in a tavern.
You can kill the occupants to your hearts desire, but nothing will ever change the inability to party up without a tavern, jailbreak, shipwreck, or amnesia.
You cannot kill the GM as well, for the cliché persists through all GMs innately.
Killing yourself doesn't solve the problem, only excludes you from it.
>>43792802
This is the best post in the thread
>>43792612
Activate the micro-explosive I implanted in his brain stem when he first started GMing.
I don't suffer a bad-mediocre GM.
>>43792802
>the cliché persists through all GMs innately
I call bullshit, most of my campaigns started out in unusual situations.
>>43792802
Simple: go back in time and kill whoever was going to invent taverns.
Even if there's something similar, it won't be called a "tavern" and it won't be exactly the same.
>>43792929
>unusual
You mean just another skin for the same contrivance.
>>43792929
Look deep into your DM's eyes,
Somewhere, within the dark recesses of his inner thoughts, the eternal phrase lurks.
"You all begin in a tavern."
At some point in his DMing career, he has spoken these words.
Perhaps it was only for a single session, his very first.
Yet it does not matter, for it happened all the same.
>>43792932
Ah, but if you can go back in time, so can others.
Face it, taverns are eternal.
We all bow to the call of alcohol and dark corners, it is the staple of fantasy.
>>43792988
Actually, for our first session we didn't meet at all. We kind of skipped that bit.
We were like fourteen though.
>>43791276
Loving someone that doesn't love you back.
>>43793012
So just go back in time and kill time.
>>43791719
>>>/pol/
>>>/b/
>>>/highschool/
>>43791276
Curing your addiction to killing.
>>43793131
And you fell for it.
>>43793137
So just kill yourself?
>>43793137
Look deep within and face your inner demons. Then kill them.
You must get past Jackie Chan in a room full of ladders, umbrellas, precious vases, and bottles of shampoo. He don't want no trouble, but you are his enemy. Also, you killed his father (see: all posts above). You cannot go around, under, over, or teleport past him.
>>43793157
That's not curing it, just ending its effects.
>>43793157
That's just quitting.
>>43793159
Inner demons can't be killed. They have to be banished.
>>43793186
Become Power Man and then kill him.
>>43793016
Too deep and real for this fantasy oriented posters.
>>43793203
>Become Power Man
That's stupid and you know it.
>>43793257
Motherfucking genius is what it is.
>>43791276
>What kind of adventuring problems CAN'T be solved by killing someone or some thing?
adventuring MATH problems!
>>43793016
I kill that emotion.
>>43793186
stand there, stone-faced frozen in terror while saitama punches him the fuck out.
>>43793303
I kill ambiguity.
>>43793336
>>43791276
Death is missing and nothing can die until it is returned.
>>43793016
That's not an adventuring problem, that's a personal drama problem.
>>43793424
I should watch that show some time, there are so many memes of it.
>>43793467
Its a problem if you love a party member
>>43791276
Find something important inside a complicated, possibly trapped labyrinth. Alternatively, escape from such a place.
>>43793578
Just kill every labyrinth wall in your way.
>>43793578
Kill the monsters in the labyrinth.
Then kill the traps
Then follow the left wall.
>>43793521
Thanks, I don't want a mental image of two fat sweaty neckbards ERPing
>>43791555
kill a party member and have their ghost go get help
alternatively, you could sacrifice them in exchange for demonic portal magic
>>43793730
The walls were holding up the ceiling. Rocks fall, you die.
>>43793828
I kill the falling rocks!
>>43792988
As a GM I have never had the party start the campaign with a tavern, shipwreck, or amnesia or jailbreak.the one-on-one game doesn't count as there was no party and the mid-arc meeting at a tavern was the party's idea, not mine
>>43793503
>has never watched Seinfeld
>>43794298
What's so good about it. It's just a bunch of nothing.
>>43791637
Kill its followers till it's forced to favor you as this is a lesser evil than letting all worship of pacifism to disappear.
>>43793137
Kill till you just don't want to kill anymore.
