>The Taxmen learn that you've been adventuring for years without turning over any of your spoils to the Tax-Halls.
>The Taxmen cometh
Actually me and my adventuring party work for a planar tax agency already. The end goal of the campaign is to collect Tiamat's back taxes.
>>43746840
I get ready to pay up.
Aint nobody fuck with the taxman.
>>43746840
I charge in to fight them screaming "end the fed"
>>43746840
Sorry, we keep all our spoils in off-shore Gnomish bank accounts.
>>43747111
>wants to end the fed
>doesn't summon the spirit of Andrew Jackson
>>43747242
The taxmen import tribes of orcs to the gnomish heartlands.
>>43747331
Gnomes cast mass illusion, orcs drive their boats into a cliff chasing the giant space hamster.
I'm a clergyman of the church. It's all tax-deductible. Everything I do is to glorify my god, therefore anything I do is classified as "religious activity/expense.
>>43747619
stripped of their neutrality, the gnomish homelands are now embroiled in a bitter war
your assets are seized to bolster their defenses
>>43747295
Anon, are you implying >>43747111
isn't Jackson?
>>43746840
We already pay taxes on all major trading we do, well, anything on the books is taxed.
As for tax on assets? Our major assets are part owned by the bank and we're on a mortgage or business loan of sorts, so anything to do with that you'd need to take up with them.Anything else and you'd better have a fast ship and a well armed crew.
>>43746840
>Playing DRYH
At least it's not the Tacks Man, fuckers not getting any of my memories or history!
>>43747740
Bullshit, that was a clear case of self-defense. It's not the Gnomes fault that your taxman is a fucking psycho who sics his orc buddies on anyone who makes his job harder.
Ah, good, you're here! Now we don't have to make the journey to the capitol. As you can see here, we have filled out our tax forms for your convenience and as you will see all of our expenses were business related and eligible for write off status.
I knew we kept the lawyer bard around for a reason....
>>43746840
>without turning over any of your spoils to the Tax-Halls
The gilded Tax-Halls?
They told me never to come back after 'the incident'.
In my defense, all my income has been tax-free.
Crime doesn't have a tax percentage. Unless it's guild tax.
I'm a halfling, I'm pretty sure I can pretend to be a human child and therefore not have to pay taxes.
>>43748100
>crime doesn't have a tax percentage
hey, anyone remember what they finally arrested al capone for?
>>43746840
Nonsense, I am a citizen of the Federation, and Adventuring Gains (also Windfalls, Combat Hazard Pay (governmental only, PMCs may apply for a separate exemption, see ยง27), Treasures of the Elder Age and International Police Bounties) are not subject to Federal Taxes, nor to the Parliamentary or Sub-Parliamentary taxes. The Hard Earned Treasures act is highly spicific on this matter. Yes i filed my paperwork with the Department of the Interior, the Ministry of Archaeological Affairs, AND the reverent local authorities (in this case the Kaalakiota Heritage Council and the Federal Wilderness Management Office).
>>43748209
>filing the paperwork yourself
>not just telling your team of lawyers and accountants to handle it
Step it up, moneybags.
Is this a poll tax or income tax? As a murderhobo, I have no permanent residence, and am not under the protection of any feudal landowner, so I'm functionally an outlaw. I don't see any system that would claim I own them anything.
If it's a percentage of income, I can claim a huge amount of spending on magic items, services, and potions. I don't make any more net than a peasant.
>>43747020
Underrated post
Sorry buddy.
You'll have to take it up with my Supervisor (pic related)...
Good luck.
>>43746840
Why would I pay taxes to the state if I AM the state.
That's why I play a cleric.
Can't tax the clergy, fucko.
This unit is a combat fit warforged.
Unit's primary function is to serve and protect The Guild.
Please provide identification documents or unit will attempt and summon organic representative of The Guild.
Connection to guild main uplink lost, please wait, attempting to re-establish.
Connection to guild main uplink lost, please wait, attempting to re-establish.
Connection to guild main uplink lost, please wait, attempting to re-establish.
Unable to connect to main uplink, would you like to leave a message to The Guild representative?
>>43751015
I'm with this man. As a proud and noble Lady of House Von Friedhof I pay my taxes directly to the Emperor himself.
Are you attempting to infringe on my rights as a Viscountess? It just so happens that there's a Paladin, Paladin Rolf Von Karling of Geraltburg, Seat Hospitallier, Order of Montespan third class and right hand of the Holy Emperor, in court on some other business, but I'm sure he could lay aside some time to speak with you about how to speak to your betters.
>>43751124
>not giving the taxman through a phone-tree ("to use Drow Sign Language, please sign 'Three'...")
>not putting him on hold for 3 hours
>not losing the call anyway to make him restart the process
>>43751166
I admit I was too lazy to type that down but good that someone got the idea.
>>43746840
Everything I own is from salvage on the High seas, nontaxable.
Go home sir, you're so far out of your depth that you'll drown.
>>43747853
>opening fire on innocent displaced orcish refugees
>"it was self defense"
nations loyal to the taxmen have liberated the corrupt gnomish territories from their tyrannical despots
>>43746840
There are no hand-grubbing fidgety neuritics with abnormaly large noses in my setting.
Therefore, there's no ridiculous taxes, specially not on shit that doesn't require the government's involvement to work, like questing.
>>43751230
everything i own is a result of piracy on the high seas, nontaxable.
>>43747295
>wants to end the fed
>summons the spirit of the president who defined the imperial presidency
>>43751629
>shit that doesn't require the government's involvement to work, like questing.
Good thing your party doesn't travel on roads or bridges, use public facilities like ports or gatehouses, has never received assistance from a militia or guard, don't deal with merchants or questgivers who enjoy the protections of the law, nor do they take quests from government figures like mayors or kings. And they probably get paid in bitcoins, as opposed to dastardly state-run currencies. Good on them for being so independent.
But then again, it's okay to ignore those considerations. It is a fantasy game after all.
>DM tells me how it should be
>I for me 19 for he
>cuz he's the taxman
>yeeeah he's the tax maaaan
>>43751790
I don't see how selling things to merchants and receiving quests or missions would somehow require an adventure to pay a tax. If anything, it's the merchant who'd pay a tax on the goods they're selling within the town borders. And let's be reasonable, most roads in a typical fantasy setting isn't stone blocks so much as it is dirt packed hard by thousands of feet walking the same way constantly over the years. Sure, if there's a bridge I'd allow for a tax to be paid for it's maintenance, but it'd just as likely be a toll involved in it's use. If it's existence isn't already being sponsored by the local merchants guild to facilitate further trade.
And why would anyone pay tax on a reward received for, for example, slaying the vile goblin king, or retrieving a kidnapped princess? Any reward given for such a feat would just as easily qualify as a gift. If a contract has been made for the services rendered, then the tax has probably already been paid since it implies that the adventurer belongs to some kind of adventurers guild, who'd probably pay the tax for them with money that they receive as part of the membership fee.
>tax on a reward received for, for example, slaying the vile goblin king, or retrieving a kidnapped princess?
Because those are payments made by the government, making a tax on them superfluous.
But yeah, for the most part it would be an under-the-table affair. And the PCs tend to be one-man-armies and unattached drifters, meaning it's most likely not worthwhile to try and collect from them directly. Better to charge some kind of sales tax on questgivers, who tend to be more stationary and law-abiding.
And besides, you can always get the PCs' taxes forgiven by getting them to do some quest. Like finding a delinquent scofflaw lord and either "convincing" him to pay his taxes, or seizing the sum by force.
>>43746840
Odd coincidence; my players paid their taxes to the crown in our 1700s-inspired merchant sailor campaign just last night.
>>43751803
My nigga
>>43746840
I can imagine taxmen of a god of taxes.
Paladins that go around the world collecting taxes from any institution, guild, and being that has large amounts of money. They ignore those who have very low or no income.
Thus no matter who or what you are, they will get that money from you, even if you are an avatar of a god of evil you will have to pay those taxes.
>>43751947
Generally transporting goods is where taxes would be collected.
Given that a lot of artifacts are worth more than the entire economy of a small town they may need to be transported a considerable distance to a major city to be sold (unless you do the magical artifact shop in every village trope).
Each major jurisdiction you pass through is going to have it's own ideas on what constitutes trade goods and therefore gets taxed.
Historically personal weapons have not been taxed but with high value magical items I can see that changing.
>>43746840
If I become rich gone buy that jacket and become cypher cosplay forever
>>43752330
I once had an idea for a paladin order that fights guild monopolies and works to advance labor rights.
Only one thing is certain in life, death if you piss of the taxman.
>>43746993
>collect Tiamat's back taxes
now that's an aim I can get behind.
>>43750971
man it must be a huge pain getting niv to pay his taxes.
>>43754189
I wonder if guild leaders even have to pay taxs
he probably keeps all the money in the guild and just uses it for everything anyway who the fucks going to stop him.
>>43746840
Don't I get tax breaks for all the assistance I give to the empire?
helping to maintaining law and order
keeping the roads safe for traders merchants and travelers
assisting the local guards against law breakers, bandits, and cultitst
>>43751230
>Everything I own is from salvage on the High seas
Flotsam, or jetsam?
>>43752395
>I once had an idea for a paladin order that fights guild monopolies and works to advance labor rights.
Neat, but the evil paladin thing has been done to death.
>>43746840
The average adventuring party is basically an untaxable entity.
The scope of their business is broad enough that virtually anything they spend money on would be a justifiable business expense. All their weapons and armor, spellbooks and magical components, potions, etc. would be deductible. The party members tend to dine together and discuss adventuring over the meal, making all their meals tax deductible business meetings. Because of their business model of wandering from place to place in search profit, adventurers tend to stay in inns near where they are adventuring rather than own homes, making all their lodging expenses tax deductible business travel.
What's left for the tax man to go after?
>>43754990
Sure, you can't tax the expenses easily.The income itself, however, is fair game.
>>43746840
I'm sorry sir but the income comes from another plane of existence and has already been taxed.
Double taxation is prohibited by inter-planar law which is enforced by lower ranked deities, celestials and demons alike.
You wouldn't want to cause an inter-planar scandal now would you.
Now be off, i have a holy weapon to forge.
>>43755071
how does that work?
>>43756816
Have the adventurers report how much they make within a certain time period, or track their expenditures, and then take a percentage of the money that they make.
Naheulbeuk already did that.
>>43746840
You do know adventurers are tax-exempt, right? I'm all paid up on my guild dues, and let me cite Page 23, paragraph 2 & 3 of the International Adventurer's Guild/All-Nations treaty:
"Active Adventurers (Individuals enrolled in the International Adventurer's Guild) will not be subject to any tax, conscription, or levy not put forth by the IAG.
In exchange for this concession, the IAG will not, as a group, take sides in international conflicts or foment treason. Registered IAG members will not do these proscribed acts against their registered nation of residence. IAG members are still subject to other laws outside of any designated IAG District."
>>43749288
Being an outlaw means you are also outside the protections of the law. They send HIM after you.
>>43752395
reminds me of a joke character. A paladin who followed the god of commerce and crusaded for capitalism
Fuck you Tax-Men, you want my profits take it up with my boss Asmodeus.
>>43746840
>Rogue Trader
>Half my Endevours are not the kind of thing you want to declare to the Imperial Revenue Service
>Tempestus Scion are now the chamber militant of the Adeptus Terra.
>Minotaurs are High Lords fuckbois.
Oh shit, time to run to the Eye.
>>43751166
Now that is more evil than any plan devised by man.
>>43751629
>Jews
>taxmen
At least get your stereotypes right.
>>43748195
Underrated Post
My character works for the Fated... so that kinda makes her the Taxwoman, doesn't it?
>>43746840
The only reasonable thing to do with a medieval taxman is to chop his guts off.
