Let's me a Vault /tg/!
Posts ending in 5 add to the Vault's description.
Last time we did this we created hell on earth, let's see what we can do now.
>>43669102
It's actually the only vault in Canada, in downtown Toronto.
>>43669102
The original inhabitants were all women
The vault is located in the rocky mountains
>>43669102
There are no clothes dispensers.
Its always chilly
>>43669102
The only color allowed in the Vault is Red, White and Blue.
The oversseer is in a power armour and is never seen without it. This means that the dwellers do not know if it is a he or she or what he/she even looks like
The Vault was an experiment in hyper-fertility.
>>43669102
The vault is filled with people that had their genes spliced with Mirelurks.
The Vault is in fact on the moon.
It was an experiment by VaulTec to try and test if America could safely become a space Empire. Had the war been delayed by 20 years humanity would have the stars by now.
All of the original inhabitants of the vault were homeless people
The vault door is located inside of an old cabin in the mountains
>>43669136
My dick seconds this. combined with this >>43669144
and this
>>43669121
Everyone know martial arts in the vault.
The Vault is equipped with a multitude of autodocs equipped for extensive cybernetic upgrading.
>>43669136
And widespread obesity.
The vault inhabitants were augmented with alien DNA administered as vaccine shots a year after they went in.
When the bombs fell only half of the registered people made it to the vault
The vault is only inhabited by obese neckbeards
The Vault is only populated with misanthropes
Non of the terminals or holotapes in the vault can register the number 5.
>>43669175
Fuck you.
We could have had Alien DNA, Hyper Fertility, Moon base, cyborgs, Clowns or any thing but this.
>>43669102
Theres a ghoul called zakaria
>>43669175
There are copies of every single RPG system known to man inside them
>>43669175
Well there it is.
But
>The vault has an extremely limited supply of food, only producing as much as needed, as well as very small amounts of entertainment products.
>>43669102
The vault has an abnormally large quantity of dildos for no well explained reason
>>43669190
Alternatively
>The only entertainment equipment in the entire vault is a fully equipped gym.
>>43669190
my vote is on this. it soudns like something vault tech would do.
Also ther are no recreation rooms, only workout and training rooms
>>43669175
Each year they vote who is the best girl from a selection of virtual novel girls provided to them on the Vault Super Computer.
>>43669175
There is only vegan food in the dispensers and nutrition pills.
The vault has no entertainment systems and was not designed to produce any.
>>43669198
You realise this isn't meant to be voting, right? Roll the dice motherfucker
>>43669175
The only RPG they have is D&D4e.
>>43669197
Seconding this.
The vault is located in Florida
The vault is stocked with a number of fursuits, several sizes too small for most inhabitants. No one is sure why
>>43669209
If his post had ended it 5 it could have given the post he was referring to legitimacy.
The Vault contains no games. The food is all health food. It does have a gym.
The overseer is an androgynous individual in a gimp suit, armed with a pistol and a bullwhip
There is a single intelligent Deathclaw in the vault, set to be released three weeks after the it closes.
The overseer has been given stores of pornography with which to placate the masses.
The land around the vault has become bloatfly infested
The Vault has no automated systems.
Everything must be done by hand and human mind.
>>43669175
There is a secondary Vault attached to this Vault filled with SJW land whales.
They are attached at the Vault Door.
The only exit is revealed to them when they stop fighting.
>>43669175
half of the neckbeards are female, but they too are obese and have beards
Everyone in the Vault is Florida Man.
There is a single copy of F.A.T.A.L. in the Overseer's desk
There are no elevators, besides a single one that only works when the vault is to be evacuated. Otherwise there are only stairs and ladders
The only food in the vault is in the forms of Brussels sprouts, beets, and a cockroach farm.
The Vault provides hologram Waifus for every participant.
>>43669275
Additionally, the vault kitchens are overstocked with knives.
The sole food-stuff in ready supply is potatoes, while the sole drink is whiskey.
Once every 4-6 days, a hatch in the overseer's room produces some pork, chicken or salmon at random.
>>43669264
Rerolling for this anon's suggestion.
Additionally, there is an ongoing game of FATAL each Friday. The world will persist until the end of the vault experiment.
The vault number is the last 3 digits of my post
>>43669275
>>43669175
In order to get your food, you have to work out and be social for a number of hours in a day proportional to the amount of food you eat.
The cockroaches have been bred to be abnormally intelligent and capable of minor operation of tools, using their mandibles.
>>43669295
Vault 295, is surrounded by an all female raider group.
The neckbeards have a mandatory Friday Night Orgy for all who live there
>>43669295
>Vault 295
>Currently peopled exclusively by fat neckbeards
>The only food is fucking disgusting
The only robots are Mr Handys programmed with gung-ho military Mr Gutsy personalities.
>>43669264
Seconding this
The vault was meant to be one of the control vaults. It's shitty conditions were just an accident.
the lights in every room simulate night and day but gradually the "days" start to lengthen and the "nights" shorten. this also applies to bedrooms.
The vault is powered by hydroelectric power from an underground water source
The air filtration systems were designed to break after six months.
So we have vault 295, populated by overweight neckbeards, with shitty food and F.A.T.A.L. as the only source of entertainment.
All the vault-suits are jizz stained, being provided as such
>>43669315
Every thursday the Overseer and a handpicked team of neckbeards play it.
Of course, it's hardcore magical realm.
it's the only tabletop allowed in the vault
The vault has an unreasonable amount of plastic plants and a number of humidifiers, producing a near tropical jungle climate
The water supplies are tainted with laxatives.
Vault 295 was built somewhere in Virginia
>>43669308
Suporting this
>>43669345
They are not hostile and doesn't want the D.
They desperately want to play FATAL
The vault is flooded at waist height.
Their is only enough toilet paper to last the first winter
There is a secret cult among the group who are devoted to making a new table top rpg system.
The overseer has his guards on watch for these Heretics.
there is a spa staffed with robots, it functions just fine, but will only accept one guest at a time.
The vault was specialized in creating synth like robots the vault dwellers control via full immersion mental control pods. The dweller's body is held in status while they live their 'lives' as the synth droid that gets released to the surface.
>>43669351
Seconding this
There is a single dolphin in the vault as part of an experiment to see if exposure will teach the dolphin english.
Theres is a mandatory shower every day. Being a smelly neckbeard is punishable by death
The lights only work for one hour a day.
The only robots have Fisto's programming.
The overseers name tag lists them as Fernando but they only answer to Rebecca
The clowns are coming.
The vault door is as big as the one in the video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UdV3yR0nJO0
There's 7 overseers. None acknowledge the others' authority.
>>43669364
seconding this
>>43669373
Honk
The only entertainment, aside from the weekly F.A.T.A.L. sessions is a supply of acid given to all inhabitants. They all have 20 tabs
They're all That Guy
>>43669374
Seconding this!
The vault's power comes from treadmills, if they're not used, there's no power.
>>43669102
There are two automated turrets in each room.
>>43669372
Rerolling
>>43669394
Backing this
>>43669393
And one more try
All documentation is in french.
They have a full DnD books collection, including some homebrew stuff, but its all on medieval Chinese
The only method of conflict resolution allowed to inhabitants is dice rolling.
>>43669352
This is evil. Seems like something Vault-Tec would do too.
Ergo seconding.
They have a broken Mountain Dew dispenser, complete with brewery, and no spare parts for it.
>>43669415
It's an experimental version. If you take enough of it you can become a Chad with a dashing look. It depends on everyone.
Side effect: You can also die or become the That Guyest That Guy in existence. Until someone tops you with more acid.
>>43669435
Broken in what way? Does it not dispense?
The vault is supplied with advanced and highly experimental artificial wombs, a collection of pre-harvested ova genetically tampered with to only produce males, and semen-collecting sexbots.
Within three generations, the sexbots managed to enslave the males to have them perform everything they need.
There are gene-splicing facilities and tube-wombs capable of producing a sustainable population, with the side effect of always producing bishounen boys
Supermutants often try to get inside the vault in hopes of getting some fat juicy humans
>>43669441
"borken Mountain Dew" is a new flavor.
It taste like Mountain Dew but... Broken
At the lowest depths of the vault dwells a mirelurk queen. It's worshipped by the vault as their waifu.
All of the clocks and every device that tells time gets slower and slower, with each day lasting on average an hour longer every year. It's an experiment to see how humans react if given day cycles that might be found on other planets, and also because vault tec wants to see what would happen if you made people live in a 35 hour day without telling them.
>>43669441
It was designed to refill itself. But it does not.
>>43669455
>Dubs and 5
Confirmed
>>43669465
Oh god I like that
>>43669465
this is pury evil...I like it
>>43669455
The neckbearders use them as slaves.
>>43669465
That sounds like a legit vaultec experiment.
The neckbeards respond to the bishounen boys with rage typically, causing them to seek to destroy them. However, regardless, the tube wombs output remains unchanged. This produces sporadic warfare as the neckbeards seek to eradicate the bishounen boys
The facility is designed to release a supply of deathclaws into isolated areas whenever any form of swear word is used. There is an advanced learning AI overseeing the vault, which logs any new swears and slurs.
You're only allowed to eat for one hour each day, at noon.
>>43669441
It only produces Skub.
>>43669497
Seconding.
Furthermore, the tube wombs are not accessible, preventing their destruction. The purpose of this is to see if neckbeards can be trained to be effective melee and improvised weapon fighters.
The vault fell into disrepair, eventually failing in its entirety shortly after the vault residents began arguing with the Overseer over interpretation of the dwellers handbook.
Alternatively, the vault door says in massive red letters 'Have you tried not dying of radiation'
All documentation, manuals and written material that the vault is supplied with have minor spelling and grammar errors.
Being able to see your own feet is a sign of great prestige
>>43669441
It produces only Dewritos
There is an over-abundance of water-purifiers, as well as numerous posters and so forth reminding occupants to bathe regularly. The Overseer has been instructed to punish those who do not bathe on a regular basis, as is in the public interest.
Only the individual with the largest cock will be permitted to breed and produce heirs with the artificial womb shit.
This is to see how genitalia can evolve.
The overseer is exceedingly old and their heart will eventually fail due to the added stress of the extended day cycles.
The vault aristocracy is comprised of That Guys. There's magical realm everywhere and no one can do anything to stop them lest they get passive aggressively shit talked about on the cafeteria message board.
The vault jumpsuits only came in small sizes.
the latest overseer decree is that those with the pointiest ears will be his personal property
All robots have a personality of being in total distress and pain all the time, usually begging for the embrace of death. They can not be reprogrammed without destroying them.
Sex with the Bishonen is forbidden.
The overseer's desk has a large red button on it, which will reset the vault's clocks to real world time if pressed. They have been instructed not to press it.
>>43669573
Seconding for the sake of us all
>>43669574
Said button is advertised as a self-destruct button.
They got almost infinite amount of cheetos, doritos and other messy snacks.
Only way to get some of them its a work out
>>43669574
The button also says "TIME MACHINE" and plays loud klaxons and makes all the lights flash on and off for a few minutes when it is pressed
>>43669102
There is no door out of the vault. There used to be a vault door room, but all door mechanism is missing.
It might be sealed from the outside.
Rape is not only legal but mandatory.
>>43669587
It's in a blue police box and when pressed plays "Time Warp" on the loud speaker.
The vault has an ample supply of video gaming consoles, but all of them only have sports games on them. A single copy of final fantasy VII is also there, but the game disk is really just tiger worlds golfing tour 2004
Starting 3 years into the stay in the Vault, once every 9-12 days, rave music will play all night, preventing sleep. The intent is to observe the effects of sleep-deprivation combined with the extended day cycles
>>43669604
This except the game is Half-life 3
Gabe newell is the overseer
They got a 3D printer with preloaded schematics for figures, dice and props.
They only problem its in hall and you must do something embarrassing on public to make it work.
The Overseer has never been seen by the occupants, leading some to believe there is none but rather a controlling computer, or something worse.
In reality, the vault overseer is simply a social awkward neet that avoids being seen
Not a week ago the vault residents heard honking coming from outside the vault door.
Everyone is scared.
The vault's water supply is spiked with mentats.
Occasionally the chiming of many small bells is heard in the depths of the vault
>>43669102
The orange powder on all the Cheetos has secretly been changed into actual powdered orange rind over the years.
No one seems to notice.
>>43669634
Rerolling
Supervisors and people of rank in the vault have their food spiked with mild dissociative drugs. The higher in rank you are, the more you get.
The vault has a lifetime supply of nuka cola, waiting to be discovered.
Unfortunately, it's in the room labelled "Gym", so no one will ever find it.
Rolled 7 (1d10)
>>43669102
A Deathclaw has managed to get inside the vault, somehow.
Day 743, and nobody seems to notice it being a Deathclaw, despite it having the most effective Tyranid army in all of the vault.
>>43669670
Seconding
The vault is in Hawaii.
The vault systems are controlled by a voice activated AI system, except the AI system is always really bad at voice recognition, so you have to try a few times speaking clearly to get it to understand you
Everything in the vault is designed to be used left handed.
There is only one toilet, and it is clogged
You must move without rhythm or automated defence system will kill you.
>>43669700
It also has a text-to-voice function, but after the inhabitants spamming AEIOU AEIOU JOHN MADDEN and the u button repeatedly through the intercom, the Overseer locked that function out of the vault's chat system.
>>43669711
Everything's clogged.
Everything.
>>43669692
Seconding.
>>43669441
There's a leak in the machine, instead of dispensing the dew, it ends up as a puddle under the machine
>>43669715
>>43669725
>Hawaiian neckbeards with AEIOU
The neckbeards, cockroaches, and bishonens have formed three distinct factions. Once per year they send out their champion to play FATAL for the right for their tribe to have the best acid.
There's a machine that produces pizzas. But the only toppings are beets, brussels sprouts, cockroaches, and pineapple.
>>43669755
Who the fuck invited Satan
>>43669755
they are hawaiian, so pineapple is something that they can deal with
>>43669764
Vault tech
>>43669775
Welp, this is now canon, Satan is using this particular vault as a new hell prototype
>>43669775
Confirmed for being the Devils Vault.
Clowns are coming. Honk.
>>43669775
Wait, so vault tec summoned the devil into this vault of neckbeards, bishonens, and pineapple pizza.
Poor Satan.
>>43669755
Cheese pizza it is.
The wate4 supply is and all the food is laced with an experimental weight loss drug
Side effects include, but are not limited to: loss of body and facial hair, increased oestrogen production, and homosexuality
>>43669783
It makes so much more sense now. The bishounen boys, the cockroaches, the F.A.T.A.L.
Noby nuked hawaii so life goes on as normal for the people on the island, the only ones who ahs it shitty is the vault dwellers
>>43669800
Where are you going to get the cheese from? Are you planning to milk the cockroaches?
>>43669825
Apparently
>>43669820
Yes.
>>43669825
Okay, sure, they milk the fucking cockroaches to produce cheese.
Mirelurks have taken over Hawaii
There is a server from 9gag in the vault
>>43669764
S.A.T.A.N.
Scientifically. Advanced. Theocratic. Automaton. Neckbeard.
>>43669875
Gentlemen, this Mr. Handy is our Overseer.
The hawaiian form of mirelurk evolved from invasive coconut crabs. Instead of lurking in the water, they climb trees.
>>43669875
Is that the Overseer then?
>>43669875
So yeah, he implanted a part of him in the AI network since he's gonna be busy ruling hell and all that jazz.
Meanwhile, the vault is in deep uproar because a secret compartment has been discovered, containing 6th and 7th edition DnD rulebooks.
Turns out hell was always located under Hawaii. Hence all the volcanos.
Conflict is resolved via DnD 7.5e Wrestling PvP
The only music allowed in the vault is Careless Whisper and It's Tricky.
the constant seismic activity forces the vault to sink, ever so slightly each year, so that it leaves a depression around the vault. however, even if by chance some kind of eruption happened, the vault itself will be fine. it just now can't access the surface if the entry is blocked. if it did, the dwellers need to mine away the now solid molten rock away to regain access.
>>43669804
Reroll
>>43669875
there has been a mix-up in the Vault-Tec offices, they were supposed to bring in S.A.N.T.A (Scientifically Accurate Neckbeard Tabletop Analyzer) instead of S.A.T.A.N.
But they went on with it anyways.
Grapple rules are enforced into EVERY game they running. EVERY. GAME.
>>43669102
>Posts ending in 5
The Mr Handy Satan sounds like Gilbert Gottfried.
The vault was never meant to be created, but the files carrying the names of the vaults that were approved and the ones that were rejected had gotten mixed up.
>>43669995
> Rule gets squared.
>>43669995
Wait, does that mean the OP is now canon?
Until now, things ending with 5 weren't true, but now they are because the OP has been verified by a post ending with 5?
My brain is broken.
Rolled 3 (1d10)
>>43669995
>That 999
GET BEHIND THEE, S.A.T.A.N !
The vault is located inside a volcano.
>>43670044
The volcano is inside the vault.
>>43670035
> Rule get Cubed.
>>43670044
The vault is located outside a volcano.
This vault is equipped with a specially modified G.E.C.K. that will transform the local environment into a number of predetermined fantasy-THEMED areas.
The inhabitants will have their grip on reality fade through required injection of a gullibility-inducing drug.
The data terminals is backed up by porrly written fanfics
The all female raiders outside the Vault are hula dancers
The raiders sacrifice virgins to feed the volcano god, by chucking them into the vault.
>>43670125
What would the G.e.c.k. create?
>>43670145
Inns, forest with "elven houses", kobold camps...
>>43669102
Vault is populated by SJW
>>43670169
Can the GECK create animal lifeforms and buildings?
>>43670184
>specially modified
>>43670184
I "can" make buildings.
It "Should" be able to make animals.
It has the capacity, but were rushed for the proyect. The damn thing is an Matter-Energy-Mater transformer.
The vault will only release "proven adventurers", dwellers who have successfully developed the skills and physique of their chosen class, with certain exceptions, magic users replaced with scientists and the like
This Vault is hell.
Fooling around with ectoplasmic materials has caused the neckbeards to see their own ghosts, but only at the time of their deaths.
>>43669102
All of the vault's inhabitants are transnigger gender-mobiles.
>>43670272
It's basically bootcamp for Neckbeards, with the inclusion of extra experiments
>>43670295
Let's not
>>43670295
fuck
>>43670295
What cancels out other 5s? Another 5? Double 5s?
>>43670295
noh
>>43670323
Another 5 will cancel
>>43670295
Fuck off.
>>43670295
On a 5 this post i void
>>43670295
Fuck that idea
>>43670335
>So shall it be.
>>43670335
Praise be S.A.T.A.N.
>>43670295
Begone foul beast!
>>43670345
>>43670335
>>43670272
>>43670302
Seconding
>>43670335
>>43670345
BLESSED.
Some wastelanders (islanders?) brave the feminist raiders to offer sacrifices to the vault door, usually of food and supplies, rarely live sacrifices in dire times. They believe the vault will open one day, and ancient gods shall come to rule the islands once again.
>>43670335
>>43670345
On a 5 I overrule your decision.Sorry, this will be the last of this kind from me.
The vault will be equipped with a clothing machine that only produces fedoras, trenchcoats, and sunglasses. The security team will be equipped with katanas and dual pistols, which they must be trained in. The floor of the vault os padded, to allow for ease when performing diving shots.
>>43670404
Yet you don't.
All is good in hawaii.
>>43670416
besides from the Mirelurks
The surrounding wasteland is populated by a stunted breed of Deathclaw. They cap out at 3 feet tall and can be domesticated in time.
The vault was contracted by the chinese for this. As such, the population of neets actually hails from china. They are all gooks.
>>43670404
You have no power here.
The A.I. within S.A.T.A.N. is programmed to, every decade, record the data of the experiments and start a new test.
>>43669175
>>43669275
>>43669295
>The vault number is the last 3 digits of my post
>>43669345
>>43669415
>>43669435
>>43669455
>>43669465
>>43669585
>They got almost infinite amount of cheetos, doritos and other messy snacks.
Only way to get some of them its a work out
>>43669715
>The vault systems are controlled by a voice activated AI system, except the AI system bad at voice recognition, so try speaking clearly to get it to understand you It also had a text-to-voice function, but after spamming AEIOU AEIOU JOHN MADDEN and the u button repeatedly, the Overseer locked it.
>>43669725
>The vault is in Hawaii.
>>43669755
>There's a machine that produces pizzas. But the only toppings are beets, brussels sprouts, cockroaches, and pineapple.
>>43669775
>Vault tech
>>43669825
Where are you going to get the cheese from? Are you planning to milk the cockroaches?
>>43669875
>S.A.T.A.N. Scientifically. Advanced. Theocratic. Automaton. Neckbeard.
>>43670125
>This vault is equipped with a specially modified G.E.C.K. that will transform the local environment into a number of predetermined fantasy-THEMED areas.
The inhabitants will have their grip on reality fade through required injection of a gullibility-inducing drug.
The entire vault constantly smells of sweaty socks. This was not planned by Vault-Tec, but is an intended side effect of its population.
Every dweller is an athiest
This Vault, the clown Vault and many others are part of a group of vualts voted on by the public.
In the last days of the world, it was found out the votes were rigged by a hacker group named 4kun.
Every door locks after twenty minutes of inactivity. Each handle has an embedded Rubix Cube that must be solved to unlock the door.
Every dweller must be a swordmaster by age 30, be it GLORIOUS NIPPON STEEL or the SUPERIOR EUROPEAN LONGSWORD.
>>43670475
damn you S.A.T.A.N.
>>43670475
That's it. It's confirmed, this vault is hell.
The only way it could be worse would be if there were mosquitoes all over the place.
All vault Dwellers develop psychic powers
>>43670489
mosquitoes are released in the mess hall every 666 days
>>43669102
mosquitoes all over the place
>>43670489
There are bloodbugs released every year or so in a random person's room. This keeps the population controlled.
In order to access facilities, inhabitants must spend the required hours practicing some sort of craft, be it weapon and armor crafting, programming, maintenance, or combat training
Every dweller is issued an indestructible electric bug killing racket, after a few decades they turned their use into a martial art.
Inhabitants are forbidden from jerking off with their dominant hand.
>>43669102
Everyone in the Vault at the time of its closure was a foreign national.
>>43670369
One more try
There must always be the same number of cats and humans in the vault.
Neurotoxins are administered to cull excess humans/cats.
>>43669102
The vault has an armory filled with military grade weapons and power armor
The purpose of this vault was to see if the selected dwellers could be conditioned into the heroes they spent so much time pretending to be
