So I run a local ERP group, and we've found that D&D, even with the Book of Erotic Fantasy, hasn't got any rules for using fruit as a sex toy. Obviously, we need to fix that, but I need your help.
A quality thread I saw the other day mentioned grapefruits as being fantastic for males, and obviously there's a long history of using cucumbers and the like for women. But I can't let us stop there, and certainly not without stats. And how do we account for fantasy anatomy? What works for a catgirl? Do we need a pineapple or something? How about dragons? Is that more of a pine tree with a flamethrower rammed up the middle, and if so, how many d6 of damage does it need to deal?
Help me, /tg/. You're my only hope.
>>43655921
>I run a local ERP
Go back to /jp/ you faggot weeb. No one wants your magical realm shit here.
>>43655921
Look up "figging" if you are into using fruits for erotica.
sage otherwise
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hdHZ5hp45Fc
>>43655921
Look, I laughed at this video too.
>>43655958
But fuck you for thinking you needed to make such a retarded thread.
>>43655958
ohGodnotagain. That sound! THAT SOUND!
>>43655975
I have it as my text message notification sound.
>>43655921
Why don't you ask your catgirl what her favorite fruit is? Seriously, it's like /tg/ is too scared to talk to girls.
I understand not wanting to ask the local dragon, though. I think I pine tree probably wouldn't be the way to go: it doesn't sound very comfortable, and it also isn't a fruit. You might have to make up a fantastic solution to that one.
>>43655958
kissless virgin here. Do blowjobs really sound like this?
>>43655921
Well, if any of your races are marsupials, they have bifurcated penises and two vaginas, so...banana split?
>>43656078
Married fa/tg/uy here. No. No, they do not. They should not. If they do, flee. That's not a woman, it's a Hoover-brand succubus.
>>43655958
Good god, that was worth watching just for that noise.
>>43656116
>Well, if any of your races are marsupials, they have bifurcated penises and two vaginas, so...banana split?
This is good advice. Now, is there a good source on the price in gp of the average banana? I think there might be something in the Arms and Equipment Guide, though that'll be by the pound so it'll take some extra math.
>>43656116
If it sounds like that it's too late to run. You've just got to clench your buttocks as tight as you can and pray to Jebus she doesn't suck your soul out of your urethra. She don't look like no woman that's going to let a meal escape.
>>43655958
you actually losin weight
while u suckin his dick
