>Wake up entering the capital of a fascist dystopia via train
>Level 1, no weapons or skills or anything
>Walking through the train station, a guard blocks my way
>Knocks over an empty soda can and tells me to throw it away before he lets me through
wat do, /tg/?
Seduce the guard.
Roll diplomacy, cease giving a fuck.
>>43564933
Pick up the can and throw it in his face. Then, when he sparks up his stun baton and chases me, run around the room, through the luggage carts, and run through the gate.
>>43564933
>pick up the can
>remember the guard
>remember the guard well
Pick up the can. Cleaning up litter is an act of good!
>>43565099
This.
>>43565070
Wise Man.
>>43564933
Pelvic thrust.
"Oh sure thing, always willing to do my civic duty, Officer."
> all smiles
> remember name or number
> write it down in my book along with the slight
> smile fades
Pick up the can and return it to the man with a pleasant gesture but feign deafness and yell in deaf voice "I CAN'T READ YOUR LIPS, I'M DEAF MY DEAR GUARD"
(Go ahead and take off that helmet asshole, lets see those easily attacked eyeholes)
>>43564933
>pick up the can
>stare at the can for several minutes
>holy shit physics
>I can pick things up with my own hands
>wander around train station looking for other things to pick up and throw away
>>43565550
He'd just beat you to death with his beating stick. He's not very tolerant of regular citizen, he's not going to be very lenient on cripples.
>>43565672
>>43564933
I pick up the can.
Like, is a guy being a slight jerk some reason to go on a vengeance crusade or take a tasering? Not really.
Though, uh, I do sort of enjoy tasers. For reasons.
>>43565672
>Pick up bottle
>Throw bottles
>Smash more bottles
>Find milk crate
>Fill milk crate with bottles and Chinese takeout boxes
>Move milk crate around with stuff inside of it
>Become unreasonably attached to milk crate and stuff
>Despair that you have to leave behind your only possessions in this wonderful physics land
>Smash bottle into another bottle
>>43565773
Anonymous, if you distract him while I sneak up from behind with a brick, you can have his Taser.
>>43565870
I DO like tasers.
And I am politely distracting.
>no bathroom on train or in station so far
>really need to go
>pick up the can
>run to far corner
>unzip dick
>guard too disgusted to do anything
>toss in garbage
>be on my way
<Insert teleporting-behind-back katana trench coat meme>
>>43565529
> Find the resistance
> Steal nuclear sub
> Discover fascists were right in their belief that certain group had a secret society.
> Travel to moon.
> Steal nuclear launch codes.
> Die in nuclear blast
> Doesn't matter, had sex
>>43566066
>can had already piss in it
>enjoy your wet pants
>>43565933
I think he means you'll be tasered.
>>43566066
> unzip dick
>Throw the can at his head
>Oh shit he mad
>Start running like a bitch
>Can bounces off him and into trash can
>He's so impressed he lets me through without a beating
>I'm sure I won't have any more trouble from these guys
>>43565788
Man, I remember when half life 2 was impressive.
Now I won't even notice anything about it, just a tedious old physics puzzle game.
>>43564933
Start jacking off, shrieking that the snake people can only have my seed if can open the pickle jar.
>>43566527
It was a magical time.
>>43566527
>>43566569
I remember when HL2 and the Source engine were held up as the pinnacle of graphics for a long while.
>>43566492
> He's so impressed he let's me off with a less severe beating
Fixed that for you. Guards are not your bros. Guards aren't anybody's bros.
>>43566606
Lets* rather
>>43566590
Black Mesa doesn't look terrible, and that's on some source of Source 1.5 thing.
>>43566478
Still my favorite all-time typo meme. It's like the internet's version of a sight-gog.
>>43564933
>Pick up can
>Throw it at his head
>Run like a little bitch cause I can't find my crowbar
>>43566629
I think the new one is "ect."
pick up that can
>heartbeat quickens
>begin to feel dizzy
>beads of sweat pour down my head
>w-what?
now put it in the trash can
>nervously bend down and reach for the can
>as I bend over noodles and milk spill out my pockets and begin to slide down my legs
>its too late the CP is walking towards me with his stun baton raised
>noodles and milk flowing everywhere
>unplug pc ebfore CP hits me
>hide under bedsheets for rest of day
>>43566402
Don't forget your ancient Jewish super weapons.
>>43564933
>level 1
Clearly you haven't played the first half life
"No, Combines! I will fight you youfor freedome!"
Conbines try to hit me on head but Jon Freeman comes on motirbike and jumps it at the Combine. I get weapon and help fight.
>>43566590
It's held up remarkably well. Opening Rise and Shine closeup still looks great.
>>43567094
You've misspelled wepon.
>>43567530
Whoops. That's embarassing.
>Take can
>Put it down in trash an by setting it Down in the bottom
>Pick up convenient headcrab inside the trash can
>Throw it at the officer and run away.
>>43566527
The physics puzzles serve a purpose for the players. Players can get action fatigue, and so there's pauses strategically placed in the game to have you change up the parts of your brain in use and keep you from developing fatigue.
It's why The Library in Halo 1 is a level people tend to hate, they've just been sucked into a mystery and the only thing you have to look forward to is a whole lot of fighting, after you've already done a whole lot of fighting. It turns into a slog.
>>43564933
Marvel at how he balanced that can on the rounded rim of the trash can. I mean, what is he, a wizard?
A guard knocks a can down and asks you to pick it up. Let's put this scenario through the cuil system.
At one cuil, the guard knocks a newspaper to the ground.
At two cuils, a can is knocked down, but the guard is nowhere to be seen. A propoganda poster on the wall states that you must pick up the can.
At three cuils, you step out of the train, which appears to be a gigantic garbage can. You are dressed as a soda can. The guard pushes you to the floor.
At four cuils, you are in a factory that makes soda cans. A guard is watching you, and any error will result in a beating. Time slows down as a can slips from your grip, slowly descending towards the floor. The guard takes off his mask, revealing himself to be Dr. Breen.
At five cuils, you are born in a factory, a healthy newborn can - but something goes wrong during transport. A giant version of yourself has dropped you, and when you hit the ground, your body spills its contents all over the floor, blood and guts oozing out onto a nearby officer's shoes. The eyeholes of his mask drip with tears made of soda, as you scream in agony. The guard removes his mask, and you are him.
Who else can take it further?
>>43564933
Well, given that I apparently have an aiming reticle in my vision (see the screen) clearly I'm a cyborg... and since I have no weapons in a dystopian setting... it can only mean that I'm armed with advanced Cybernetic weaponry and have no need of normal weaponry. I go tear his arms and legs off with inhuman strength. He screams horribly in soul rending agony... his blood fountaining. I laugh my grim, mad laughter, tinged oddly with an undercurrent of metallic reverberation.. no doubt from the replacement of my trachea and voice box with some soulless vocorder. I then proceed to shove his useless stun wand down his screaming throat, silencing him... much like I silence this silly thread. Seriously dude... level 1.. no skills? No such thing... Or are you just trying to fuck with the players with your Magic kingdom?
>>43572806
But the aiming reticule is just a dirty spot on his glasses. Your move.
>>43572806
>Gordon Freeman is a robot.
Holy shit. That explains everything. Mind = blown.
I try and ask the town guard about that strange creature I saw sweeping as I came in. I also wonder where the rest of my party is.
>>43572735
10/10 post
>>43564933
Roll for intimidation
"No, You pick it up young man.
I ignore the guard and keep trying to push my way past, because it amuses me greatly to get my ass beat by a stun baton.. and suffer no damage.
Exploration!
>>43565070
All those guards look the same.
They are like Stormtroopers in a way
>pick up the can
>throw it at his face
>bounce it off into the trash
>his programming bugs and he lets me through
And that's why you max out Dex in chargen.
>>43564933
Beat the Guard to death. With the empty can. Shove him in the Trashbin.
>>43564933
I place a book on his head causing him to teleport.
>Pick up the can
>Put it in my pants without saying a word.
>Crush is slowly between my perfectly defined ass cheeks
>Don't break eye contact the entire time.
>>43573447
Is this a reference to Myst?
>>43573457
You should have seen this punk eyeballing me. I told him to pick up a can and he crushes it in his ass. He was staring at me the whole time. I think he was some kind of faggot or something.
>did you knock his teeth out?
Ha ha, yeah. I beat him till *I* was tired.
>minmax for insane diplomacy levels
>guard is bored/angry enough to vent on a random passerby
>pick it up while asking about his day
>press the conversation until I have a name and full background story.
>he is my best friend now Chris
>I'm making him plot centric whether you fucking like it or not
>oh no, he's not a throwaway meatshield, I'm keeping him alive
>is this what you wanted?
>this entire aside and permanent addition to your future notes?
>was all this derailment ad extra work worth it Chris?
>was it worth it for your faggy little can bit? HMMM?
DMs shouldn't be players.
>>43564933
>pick up the can
>jump on top of it while it's still in my hands
>keep jumping
>return to my home planet
>>43572735
10/10
I can't get past 4 on the cuils scale sober.
I once got up to six mildly drunk but spelling goes to shit so its probably not worth reading.
I'm out of beer.
>>43572735
At six cuils,CAN-CAN CAN YOU DO THE CAN-CAN CAN YOU DO THE CAN-CAN CAN YOU DO THE CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN-CAN
>>43564933
Burn his fucking house down.
With lemons.
That's right! I raided the Aperture Science facility. I have a stock heap of combustible lemons. And that's the least troubling of things that I found.
Shit is going to get SCIENCE!
>>43573459
No it's a speed run tactic in Half-Life 2 where you use a book or other object to trick the game into thinking that the NPC is stuck. In cut-scenes this allows you to skip some of the characters long walks by strategically smacking them on the head to make them teleport to their next pathing node.
https://youtu.be/WzPSa5jbQHw?t=6m17s
>>43573476
Perfectly in-character guard. Would get beaten by/10.
>>43572735
At six cuils, soda is overflowing out of the edge of the bin. The officer who looks like you with a can for a head picks up your can sized body and throws you into the bin. You plunge into the bin and fall through the infinite parallel universes of the can scenario happening. You scream out in pure horror but nothing comes out except gloopy expired soda.
>>43572806
trying too hard
>>43568920
That and the fact that the library is a whole lot of fighting. Just barrels of fighting compared to the levels before it. I never thought of it from the perspective of action fatigue, though when you out it like that it makes a lot of sense.
>>43566402
Great game, but strange that in an oblique way it validates Nazi ideas of Jewish conspiracies.
>>43572735
At six cuils, you see a guard weeping. He holds a can, he asks you, pleads to you that he needs you to put the can into the bin. As he points you see the bin. the trashcan informs you via interpretive dance that the reverse birth of placing the can into another can would be an act against god. God seems unphased and watches the dance with keen disinterest. Soda wells up from the floor, and in the distance you hear the can-can suddenly the guard is dancing in fishnet leggings, yet still he weeps for his lost can
>>43577374
11/10
Would hallucinate again.
>>43574831
What the flippety flip is this?
>>43577242
What game?
>>43577242
The irony about it though is that nazi super science actually turns out to be Jewish super science. Wonder what kind of mental gymnastics you have to do to ignore the fact that all your best tech was first created by people you deemed inferior.
>>43572735
WTF is a cuil?
>>43577595
A unit of measurement, measuring a level of abstraction away from an original idea.
>>43577449
Why thank you.
>>43573476
Its like a discussion between two goons in a stealth game.
Dr. Freeman, I presume?
>>43577602
oh, ok, I also checked on google, it makes sense now
>>43573219
guess you'll just have to kill em all
>>43568920
Plugging this video because it seems RPG relevant:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMggqenxuZc
>>43577511
They only said in propaganda they were inferior, the reasoning was all the usual bullshit with jewish banks, teaching kids the wrong stuff through educational means etc.
If you think your youth is perverted by X you don't believe them to be inferior but to validate to the populace why they must be exterminated you must create an image of leeches, roaches and rats that destroy your culture from within.
>>43577669
Remember that this mod was made by a 40 years old German... I believe.
>>43577494
I'm going to guess Wolfenstein.
