The sailor your PC was having a bar-fight with and knocked down pulls out a can of spinach.
>>43443946
Attack of opportunity! I use it to sunder the goddamn spinach can.
>>43443962
>opening the can for him
Retard.
Steal that shit and eat it first.
>>43443946
>>43443962
No, wait, I disarm him and eat it myself!
>>43443946
I stop fighting the cat and mouse around my doghouse and begin rhythmic beating of the sailor to show tunes instead.
>>43443946
I cast meteor swarm on him and the lanky girl with the black skirt.
Then, if they are still alive, chained enervation.
>>43444068
>I cast meteor swarm on him and the lanky girl with the black skirt.
You know he's just going to punch each meteor away as it approaches him, right?
He's probably going to punch the next spell away too.
>>43443946
None o' that stuff!
I take out my own, and we cleave the town in twain.
Winner buys the drinks.
I use mage hands to poison the spinach with laxatives. Can't fight when there's a storm brewing in your poop deck.
>>43444181
>implying Popeye wouldn't just keep fighting and shit without regard for social impressions, getting nasty liquid veggie shit into your open wounds caused by his savage pummeling
>>43444091
Then I contingent planeshift away then teleport to a random location and lastly call my cousins:
http://www.dandwiki.com/wiki/The_Wish_and_the_Word_%283.5e_Optimized_Character_Build%29
He should have thought it twice before being a martial.
>>43444260
As soon as you teleport away, he punches the plane he's in so hard that all the other planes collapse like background scenery, then grabs you and gives you a wind-up punch that knocks you out of reality completely.
>>43444260
>a martial.
I don't think you know who you're fucking with, friend
http://www.gamefaqs.com/boards/206-comics-and-graphic-novels/61577522
>>43444296
>>43444302
It's freeform bullshit? Then let me get out my freeform character, Unsheaty McKatana. (He's already teleport behind the guy, just you know)
>>43444365
Don't be mad because you don't know how to beat Popeye.
This is gonna be one of those threads where you can identify the age ranges of the posters based on their responses
>>43444365
Katana wont kill pop-eye mate. Prepare to get punched by the prigibal muscle eizzard
>>43444405
WHAAAATTT???
Are you serious?
It was POPEYE?!?
I'll get the fuck out of here fast as nignog chased by a coplog!
Dear God!
>>43443946
>>43443946
Make it a fair fight, as a paladin I use strength buffs, or have the cleric/bard/wizard buff for me.
>>43443946
There's no point in fighting now. I stop fighting, and apologize to Popeye for my tomfoolery.
>>43443946
Oh shiiiiiiii-
But what if I don't want any trabble?
>>43443946
Jesus, how did a Kobold trickster knock down Popeye?
Grease the spinach can.
>>43444549
Now we have a paradox, or something that will start a glitch in the laws of reality.
Finally someone I can have a fun fight with!
Rolled 13 (1d20)
I shoot the can out his hand! Rolling!
>>43444623
>lies.png
It's sad too, Popeye can't even step up
>>43444598
Chan can't meet spinach beats
>>43444662
You hit the can at the top. But he maintains grip on it.
>>43444700
He can if he's drunk and holding a baby.
>>43443946
>can
I pull out and swallow dozens of fresh spinach plants
Come at me bro!
Rolled 12 (1d20)
I cast Magic Missile?
If I have spinach on me I eat it. If not I prepare for the coming pummeling. At the very least I know he's not gonna kill me.
>>43444101
Why didn't all popeye's enemies do that?
>>43445015
Don't always have the chance, plus there was that time an audience member tossed him a spinach can.
If Popeye needs a can, he's gonna get it
>>43444365
>tfw you make a casterfag cry
>>43445015
Because who the fuck expects some dude to eat a can of spinach then suddenly become an unstoppable cosmic force of nature?
Bluto is the only one who doesn't have an excuse. He's just a big galoot.
I've always wondered if Popeye ate Spinach or Silverbeet.
In a few episodes where you see actual spinach it's often drawn as Silverbeet instead.
>>43445563
franche, english and polish says spinach so probobly the artists just based it on silverbeet from time to time
>>43445015
Most of his enemies fight him for the first (and only) time and haven't heard about his spinach related powers.
Whilst I know perfectly well who Popeye is, Mayylene the Drow doesn't share this same knowledge.
On seeing the can she's going to let him have his little snack, hell, she'll probably even offer to open the can for him so she can get back to beating him senseless.
Then he'll punch her so hard her colours swap, her pet spider turns into a young girl call Muffet and her pet rabbit becomes a rabbit felt hat.
Once she has recovered her senses she's going to hunt him down and poison his spinach.
![20140406[1].png](https://i.imgur.com/qHvWVox.png "20140406[1].png")
>>43445668
>>43445668
Awesome, I was looking for this pic
>>43445832
>Not metagaming
It's like you're not even trying to get a High Score in D&D
>>43445832
>once she recovered
>once
mate im not shure if you are aware of what kind of punch power we are talking about here. She will not recover because she will be truned, with that one puch, from her evil ways to her good ways. She will see that poison is a cowerds way out, not one to fit a sailor and chouse rather to spend her life as a deckhand on the sea
>>43449700
>woman
>on a ship
It's like you want bad luck son
>>43443946
You win this round, but I'll be back.
>>43444623
Isn't Pop-Eye pretty much One Punch Man?
Narratively speaking, that is - his schtick is that when he eats his spinach he gets Strong and then whops his enemies away with a single punch.
Not that that means that he'd win in hypothetical fight - his schtick doesn't include "eternally depressed since he can't get challenging fights". He's in a similar niche, though.
Of course, any fight between the two would inevitably run into the Superman vs. Goku problem where it ends with them just calling it a draw of some sorts and then bonding over it by beating up Bluto or something.
>>43444068
Meteor Swarm in a bar at point-blank range...
I'm pretty sure that'll clear out your HP, bruv.
>>43445668
I know the take away from this is that Popeye is stupid powerful, and he is, but damn, Bluto can take a beating.
>>43449856
never said that it would sail on salt waters, women on a ship is only bad luck on salt water. Plus ill just take a cat or two with me and the luck cancels out the bad luck....ill take a pig too just to keep safe
>>43444514
The only right answer
>>43445668
Does this mean Bluto is an immortal?
>>43450037
But what happens if a trans woman is out to sea? Does devil Davey still give you the locker combination? What about a trans man or even a cross dresser like Faris from FF5? These are questions that needs answers iffin I pick the gnarliest crew.
>>43450206
Faris had a pet Hydra, and walked the walk, everything else is irrelevant. She is the Pirate King of the Sea
Lenna was bad luck however, but Galuf's sheer awesomeness and badass was able to compensate for it.
>>43443946
I pull out a can myself.
>Tfw eating nothing but spinach helped me lose 60 pounds.
>>43450439
Hm. Okay so if Faris is a trans man then it works based on gender not assigned at birth. Assuming she/he menstruates. Unless he doesn't menstruate in which case trans women and women after menopause or who are sterile may not be bad luck. Perhaps it's not even gender but a mindset. You said Faris walked the walk. In that case someone like Pirate Lord Evee should count
>>43443946
I pull out my bag of tricks.
My god have mercy on our souls.
>>43450647
Faris isn't a Tranny, just a cross dresser. When the others guess she's a girl she admits to it, and she tried doing dresses and things until she tired of it and went pack to being a pirate. After her crew admitted to know and said they would still respect and follow her orders, she drops the act all together and continues to be a pirate, just without the hiding her gender thing.
It's not an identify thing, its literally just "she pretended to be a man so she could get respect and make people fear her". Saying Faris is a Tranny is stupid and like saying Mulan is a Tranny
>>43444365
>>43444302's links contain a list of ACTUAL things Popeye has done in various cartoons and comics over the years. Punching spells away is something he has canonically done. Punch-based counterspells. He routinely punches something and turns it into something else. He has punch-based transmutation. He's punched through time and the 4th wall. Punch based time travel and planeswalking.
Popeye is not a martial, he's the original muscle wizard, and he casts FIST like it was an at-will ability.
>>43450890
Never said she was. But since I haven't played anything but the English localized version, I'm leaving and open slot for the possibility that it was dumbed down or altered to appeal to Americans. If the U.S. Version isn't edited, then it's definitely a mindset. All it requires to have a rockin crew of chicks is not to pick ladies and maidens. Plus chick pirates can snap you out of a siren song
>>43450206
>But what happens if a trans woman is out to sea?
Only bad luck if a majority (by surface volume) of the crew considers her a woman.
>>43449990
I think >>43445668 puts Popeye slightly ahead. Saitama, as far as we've seen, is limited to punching things that exist in reality, whereas Popeye can apparently punch reality itself when it suits him.
>>43450716
I would pay to watch this.
>>43451570
>Popeye is not a martial, he's the original muscle wizard, and he casts FIST like it was an at-will ability.
Damned if I didn't get chills reading that
>>43443946
>get knocked out
>wake up, at some later time
>buy him a pint and thank him for a thoroughly enjoyable brawl next time i see him?
also go buy a can of spin-age,
ifs ya cants beats em, joins em
>>43451949
Seeing Popeye drawn like this and a seriously drawn Saitama going at it would be the best fight ever.
Popeye has the power edge, since Saitama has never shown reality/spell punching, but he is certainly durable enough to take any level of physical attacks, and he is FAST.
>>43444068
Peggy Hill doesn't get to tell me about how doomed I am.
>>43450716
Good lord. This is probably the only thing posted so far with a chance of success. And it would be epic.
>>43449856
You are aware the greatest pirate that ever lived was female, right?
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ching_Shih
>>43444365
>Trying to beat cartoon physics with animu edge.
kek
>>43450034
>Bluto can take a beating.
Do note how Bluto can survive all that shit WITHOUT spinach.
>>43455716
Maybe he fell into a cauldron of spinach soup as a baby?
>>43456140
Obelix plz
>>43445668
now anytime someone complains about mages being op in my settings i'll just write in popeye
>>43452967
Saitama is implied to have universe busting power by his creator or something, so that would even things out.
Now imagine if Spinached Popeye and Saitama fused.
>>43450890
s/he referred to him/herself as a guy even after being exposed at several points throughout the story so
>OOC
"oh bollocks. Can I roll to see if I know about Popeye in-character?"
>Pass
"Oh bollocks"
>Fail
Probably some jibe about "needing a pick-me-up so soon?" before I get my shit wrecked.
>>43444623
>>43449990
So... Popeye eventually banged some Japanese woman at some point and later led to Saitama being born?
>>43443946
It doesn't matter.
He's already dead.
>>43445832
>her pet spider turns into a young girl call Muffet
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gi2FOXsCIpY
>>43450023
http://www.giantitp.com/comics/oots0653.html
>>43443946
I run.
It wont help.
>>43458250
Makes more sense than the actual back story.
>>43458304
He punches his own pressure points back into synch and proceeds to prove Kenshiro was actually speaking in second person.
>>43459521
speaking of
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i4tNuM9XttM
http://www.businessinsider.com/spinach-typo-popeye-2014-1
>>43445015
They do. It happens quite often in Popeye.It doesn't matter because he gets it back.
>>43458250
>So... Popeye eventually banged some Japanese woman at some point and later led to Saitama being born?
...........This makes perfect sense. Popeye is an American sailor, Okinawa is pretty much an American naval base, chances are Popeye had a honey there on deployment.
Then again, do we ever have any indication that One Punch Man takes place in Japan? Or that Popeye lives in America? What if they both live in the same fictional country?
>>43461232
Popeye was slapping Japs back in WWII for the USA.
>>43461232
>Or that Popeye lives in America?
You're kidding right?
>>43461446
>Those incredibly racist 1940s cartoons
I fucking love it. I wish we weren't so sensitive nowadays, just imagine a new Popeye cartoon where he beats up extremely stereotypically Arab terrorists?
>>43461232
One Punch Man takes place in Japan, yeah. I think they mention it in one of the first chapters?
The cities and whatnot are fictional, of course.
>>43461232
>Then again, do we ever have any indication that One Punch Man takes place in Japan? Or that Popeye lives in America?
Ugh, millennials.
>>43443946
Attempt to use seduction.
>>43459363
>Muffet pours you a cup of spiders.
I was thinking more the classic one who eats curds and whey.
But why not.
>>43464295
You're thinking of /fit/izens, m8
>>43464769
Oh god, please don't tell me you literally don't know the nursery rhyme 'Little Miss Muffet'.
You better not be shitting with me here.
>>43443946
My PC wouldn't be picking bar fights in an Altdorf sailor's tavern to begin with, since he doesn't want to be stabbed in the back and tossed in a sewer for the rat catchers to find or the skaven to eat.
>>43461529
You mean like all of our video games and action movies.
>>43464958
...really?
>>43461446
And that war never really ended in Popeye's world, if I recall.
