Upcoming events:
7/2: ONE FC: Dynasty of Champions - Jadambaa vs Kelly
7/3: Shooto Gig West 18 - Murata vs Kohori
7/7: UFC FN 90 - Dos Anjos vs Alvarez
7/8: TUF 23 Finale - Jedrzejczyk vs Gadelha
7/9: UFC 200 - DC vs Jones 2
7/13: UFC FN 91 - Ferguson vs Chiesa
7/16: Bellator 158 - Daley vs Lima
7/22: Legacy FC 58 - Drysdale vs Spann
7/22: Bellator 159 - Caldwell vs Taimanglo
7/22: Glory 32 - Adamchuk vs Varga
7/23: UFC on Fox 20 - Holm vs Shevchenko
7/24: Pancrase 279 - Ishiwatari vs Brookins
7/29: Invicta FC 18 - Grasso vs Escabel
7/30: UFC 201 - Lawler vs Woodley
8/6: UFC FN 92 - Rodriguez vs Caceres
8/20: UFC 202 - Diaz vs McGregor 2
8/27: UFC on Fox 21 - Pettis vs Oliveira
9/3: UFC FN 93 - Arlovski vs Barnett
9/10: UFC 203 - Miocic vs Overeem
Previous thread: >>68932032
News:
>Jones not interested in HW any more
http://www.mmamania.com/2016/6/26/12033178/ufc-200-jon-jones-says-a-move-up-to-heavyweight-is-not-as-appealing-mma
>Bisping says Weidman is USADA'd
http://mmajunkie.com/2016/06/ufc-champ-michael-bisping-takes-shot-at-chris-weidman-during-twitter-spat-lots-of-injuries-since-usada
>GSP says he could fight at 155 for his comeback
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12025798/georges-st-pierre-says-he-could-easily-fight-at-lightweight-in-ufc
>Faber on wardrobe malfunction
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12029182/urijah-faber-reebok-needs-to-make-sure-ufc-fight-gear-fits-better
Op is gay
Schaub is God
"IT'S TIME" shouted Bruce, with a hop and a stomp,
Six inches he climbs; on the loose with such pomp.
Grey hair combed so fine that your boyfriend would love it,
Tanned skin mask with lines that Dos Anjos would covet.
"The most stacked card ever."
Let that sink a minute.
When the main starts with Cain
Then three titles within it,
Edgar destroys Aldo and to Dana beckons
For Goober because the fight took just twelve seconds.
Now fight fans all fapping
(The replay's so great)
Thoughts all overlapping with
Bouncing-tits-Tate.
She beats some dumb hue
Via choke; Anaconda
Towers over Joe Rogan,
Grabs the mic and shouts
"Ronda!
I know you are watching,
And I don't feel bad, slid
that choke in tight just like your pussy dad did!
Go lose fourty pounds so that you can make weight,
Duck Cyborg once more
Then come suck this Cupcake!"
She crotch chops and Goldie
Snaps awake, jaw ajar,
"Takes some energy, Joe,
To uh, be a rockstar"
>>68956306
Out walks big fat Hunt
But who gives a fuck
It's all just a stunt
So this card doesn't suck.
McGregor is missing
But now here comes Brock!
His chest tattoo'd up
With a sword-looking cock.
He gets the crowd going
By bouncing his pecs;
While Buffer's announcing,
He grins with a flex.
The first round gets going,
We grimace with dread,
For the part where Hunto
Blasts off Brock's severed head.
But what unfolds so fast
(And before there's contact)
Hunt pretends that he's gassed
And just falls on his back!
"Brock's fists are HUGE Joe,"
Says Goldberg, entranced,
"Look at that combo,
All with strikes so advanced!"
Herb Dean jumps in quick
And as Brock wins the fight,
He squeezes his dick
And we fear for his wife.
>>68956305
Is previous thread the GOAT new meme of 2016?
>>68956113 #
>given purple belt after winning fight contested in the feet
>gets taken down at will
>has meme boxing that folds against technical boxing
>can only do memekicks
Great """"champ""""" ya got there
>>68956332
Jon Bones Jones:
Unbroken.
The GOAT (and a lock)
D.C.'s words oft spoken:
"I'll deepthroat Jon's cock"
They enter the cage
And the crowd roars;
Excitement.
D.C. can envision his succing indictment.
They meet in the center;
Big John reads the script:
"Fight clean and touch gloves,
Oh, and Jon?
Watch your dick."
The two meet with a clash,
"There's that oblique kick, Joe,
And there's D.C.'s moustache
With a streak, down below."
"It's an interesting fight,"
Rogan starts, (what a douche)
"Reminiscent of Rousey
vs Liz Carmouche.
You know that one figher
Is on the offensive,
Their grip so much tighter,
Training so extensive,
That all that they've dreamt
For the past ninety days
Is they have an attempt
To make champions gay."
D.C. is repeatedly grasping,
Fingers scratch violently.
Jon heatedly gasping,
We watch him scream silently.
No individual cheers
From the crowd heard alone,
We know the end's near;
It's just one constant moan.
"JUST LIKE THAT!" Goldy cries,
And in one fluid motion
Jones pokes D.C.'s eyes
Yet he shows no emotion.
D.C. drops to his knees
And without tying up
Makes it look like a breeze
As he flings off Jon's cup.
And just as he once said
That he grinds (not diminish)
D.C. starts giving head and then
Goes for the finish.
As D.C. wipes his mouth and they put on the belt,
You ask all your buddies how this fight card felt.
They throw in some cash for the pizza and fees,
But those goofs all in unison chirp your TV!
"Where the fuck are the wires?" they ask with disdain,
"You quite clearly possess a slow dim-witted brain."
They go to leave but you stop them
and heem every here,
Your canvas floor off their wee head clatters.
You make your point perfectly clear:
There's only one OP that matters.
>>68956334
absolutely
Schaub bless all you bums yeh
>>68956332
>>68956354
Nobody cares
>>68956398
me neither bud
"IT'S TIME" shouted Bruce, with a hop and a stomp,
Six inches he climbs; on the loose with such pomp.
Grey hair combed so fine that your boyfriend would love it,
Tanned skin mask with lines that Dos Anjos would covet.
"The most stacked card ever."
Let that sink a minute.
When the main starts with Cain
Then three titles within it,
Edgar destroys Aldo and to Dana beckons
For Goober because the fight took just twelve seconds.
Now fight fans all fapping
(The replay's so great)
Thoughts all overlapping with
Bouncing-tits-Tate.
She beats some dumb hue
Via choke; Anaconda
Towers over Joe Rogan,
Grabs the mic and shouts
"Ronda!
I know you are watching,
And I don't feel bad, slid
that choke in tight just like your pussy dad did!
Go lose fourty pounds so that you can make weight,
Duck Cyborg once more
Then come suck this Cupcake!"
She crotch chops and Goldie
Snaps awake, jaw ajar,
"Takes some energy, Joe,
To uh, be a rockstar"
>>68956390
Schaub bless
>>68956457
Out walks big fat Hunt
But who gives a fuck
It's all just a stunt
So this card doesn't suck.
McGregor is missing
But now here comes Brock!
His chest tattoo'd up
With a sword-looking cock.
He gets the crowd going
By bouncing his pecs;
While Buffer's announcing,
He grins with a flex.
The first round gets going,
We grimace with dread,
For the part where Hunto
Blasts off Brock's severed head.
But what unfolds so fast
(And before there's contact)
Hunt pretends that he's gassed
And just falls on his back!
"Brock's fists are HUGE Joe,"
Says Goldberg, entranced,
"Look at that combo,
All with strikes so advanced!"
Herb Dean jumps in quick
And as Brock wins the fight,
He squeezes his dick
And we fear for his wife.
>>68956500
Jon Bones Jones:
Unbroken.
The GOAT (and a lock)
D.C.'s words oft spoken:
"I'll deepthroat Jon's cock"
They enter the cage
And the crowd roars;
Excitement.
D.C. can envision his succing indictment.
They meet in the center;
Big John reads the script:
"Fight clean and touch gloves,
Oh, and Jon?
Watch your dick."
The two meet with a clash,
"There's that oblique kick, Joe,
And there's D.C.'s moustache
With a streak, down below."
"It's an interesting fight,"
Rogan starts, (what a douche)
"Reminiscent of Rousey
vs Liz Carmouche.
You know that one figher
Is on the offensive,
Their grip so much tighter,
Training so extensive,
That all that they've dreamt
For the past ninety days
Is they have an attempt
To make champions gay."
D.C. is repeatedly grasping,
Fingers scratch violently.
Jon heatedly gasping,
We watch him scream silently.
No individual cheers
From the crowd heard alone,
We know the end's near;
It's just one constant moan.
"JUST LIKE THAT!" Goldy cries,
And in one fluid motion
Jones pokes D.C.'s eyes
Yet he shows no emotion.
D.C. drops to his knees
And without tying up
Makes it look like a breeze
As he flings off Jon's cup.
And just as he once said
That he grinds (not diminish)
D.C. starts giving head and then
Goes for the finish.
As D.C. wipes his mouth and they put on the belt,
You ask all your buddies how this fight card felt.
They throw in some cash for the pizza and fees,
But those goofs all in unison chirp your TV!
"Where the fuck are the wires?" they ask with disdain,
"You quite clearly possess a slow dim-witted brain."
They go to leave but you stop them
and heem every here,
Your canvas floor off their wee head clatters.
You make your point perfectly clear:
There's only one OP that matters.
fuck u goof lmao
>>68956362
Stephen Thompson vs. winner of Lawler/Woodley
Neil Magny vs. Dong Hyun Kim
Demian Maia vs. Carlos Condit
Donald Cerrone vs. Tarec Seffiedine
>>68956547
I love this actually
>>68956547
Agree, Thompson deserves the next title shot
I think Magny just needs someone high ranked to fight desu, WW doesn't have much room for him, I would give him the loser of Lawler-Woodley after this
Eliminator for next title shot after Thompson, good
Would rather see Cerrone fight Brown
>>68956642
Assuming Magny wins, that is
Who /spancc/ here?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZJcX20XZ2Is
>>68956642
Brown's fighting Lellenberger which is disappointing since Cerrone vs. Brown would be awesome.
>>68956686
>yfw Cormier spanks Jon Jones
>>68956838
>>68956838
Schaub would destroy Miocic. He is superior in all areas. Schaub has much better hands and his ground game is only second to Werdum.
>>68956759
I'm surprised Lellenberger hasn't been cut yet
Lost 4 of his last 5 fights, and his only win was to the dessicated corpse of Josh Koscheck
>>68956936
Do you remember the time when Schaub scratched his chin in contemplation too hard and got knocked out cold for several minutes?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7nn5w_qS50
>Schaub wrong on literally every point he makes
My favourite video.
>>68957066
I could've sworn they cut him after he lost to Tarec. I'm shocked they've kept him this long.
/SuccNation/ Appreciation
>>68956936
This is literally unironically 100% true
BisGOAT is commentating for shoot64 on fightpass if anyone is interested
>>68956241
>>68956241
>JONES
>Heavyweight
>I want fights
>Stylistcally good for me
>Means I want a HW can to beat
He'd still get wrecked by the bottom 10 Desu Desu
He could barely handle Gus
>>68957165
wtf???????????????????????????????????????????????????????
Why did the UFC keep Scott Jorgensen around so long?
what went wrong
>Bellator
>>68957243
The UFC likes certain guys and they try to do anything they can to not cut them
>>68957244
USADA
>>68957243
They wanted a can to give to people on a losing skid
Might be the same thing the UFC is doing to Lellenberger
Anyone find it a bit hypocritical that rogan was calling out Ariel for leaking fights when joe has been known to leak fights on his podcast?
>>68957291
No
His opponents' records at the time don't suggest that
They just didn't want to cut him for whatever reason
>>68957312
I remember when he leaked the Rory/Wonderboy fight.
He's a kook
>>68957243
Look at Tim Boestch, the two fights he has actually won (Lolbard and CB got robbed imo) he was getting smashed before a hail mary.
>>68956241
Bisping is doing commentary for Shooto on fightpass lel
>>68957264
Bellator had some spicy heems this weekend
>>68957312
who cares goof, buy fightpass
>>68957079
I used to be. Lost 55 pounds last year when I switched up my diet and started working out.
Being fat was pretty chill desu.
My back is broken.
>>68957507
SPINAL
>>68957545
TAP
>>68957564
IST
>>68957312
Name one fight Joe leaked.
tappy
>>68957662
Rory vs wonderboy
Jds vs overeem
There's two off the top of my head
>>68957662
Ronda vs. Holly
>>68957782
>>68957814
Link to the videos please
>>68957243
put on good fights, show up, show up when others don't, have a little good favor with ufc.
look at soto, goid fight with tj on short notice, then a bad loss, then a bs loss, now he has finally won a ufc fight.
Who /ROSE/ here?
>>68957926
I'm more of a Rose Monroe kind of guy
>>68957828
The Ronda one:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AL2ampi5uqs
>>68957989
>edmond
post qt fans
bisbong doing good as a commentator tobeh
Who /SHOOTO/ here? Bisping is on commentary
https://www.ufc.tv/video/shooto-brazil-64
>>68958017
>>68957828
I remember the rory wonderboy one I think it was a scoob and callan episode and Joe leaked it by talking about the promo he had recorded for it
>>68957828
Jds vs overeem
http://youtu.be/yuO3HKSlM1w
Rory vs wonderboy
http://youtu.be/p7nn5w_qS50
>>68958036
here lad
Will this next fight go longer than a minute?
>>68958036
lookin sharp
>>68957764
læffy?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jp1yclQXd1Q
>people PAY for FightAss
>>68958156
>people DONT pay for an easy solution to watch multiple small organisations and all UFC fights except main cards on PPV's.
>>68958190
>funding Dana's driveway snow
Just noticed the Aldo burger adverts in the cage kek
>>68958190
thanks for keeping my streams free
>>68958214
>not funding the guy Dana had come plow it once he got bored
https://www.instagram.com/p/BHINwKyDlmy/?taken-by=rondarousey
>>68956241
Ausbro just woke up.
Who Shooto here? Anything good I missed?
>>68958484
his wife looks more manly
>>68958485
read above "ausbro" you fucking douche
>>68958485
two quick finishes in the first two fights, one armbar and one tko
was a soccer kick to the head at the start of the last fight, bretty good
>>68958156
>he can't scrounge $10 a month
>>68958550
>Soccer kick
Vale Tudo rules?
>>68958560
>he doesn't use a cracked account
>>68958560
>he's bragging about $10 a month
>>68958610
who KeePassX so this never happens here
![85829184[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/8yK4uvx.jpg "85829184[1].jpg")
>>68958610
>he can't scrounge $10 a month either
>>68958615
neither can he
>>68958661
>willingly paying for something you can get for free
you all Schaub haters are fucking cheeto fingered nerds, can't see greatness when it slaps you in your spotty face.
>Not making it so you just save 100 bucks each year
Its around my birthday and I always get money as a gift
>>68958587
nah, he got told off by the ref.
>>68958484
wen u out with ur gf having a gud time but remember mcgoobz heemed u in 10 seconds
requesting spicy bangers list please
They got Jacare for the announcing!
>>68958714
Anthony Pettis vs Eddie Alvarez
John David or Jesus, who u got?
>>68958714
edgar v faber
mighty mouse v dodson 2
tj v cruz
wonderboy v rory
>>68958714
Struve vs. Rosholt
Is there a man alive who can beat Michael "The Count" Bisping?
>dat rockhold banter
the absolute madman
>>68958780
not without steroids
>>68958714
Gonzaga vs erohkin
>>68958714
>>68958734
>>68958484
>>68958529
She must be a tranny.
He is brazilian after all.
>>68958780
Only Fedor can come close
reminder
>>68958813
thanks
>>68958780
5th round lawler.
>>68958828
Who is /heem/ gonna narc on first?
>>68958828
usada is the worst thing to happen to the ufc
>>68958855
anyone here a convincing liar over the phone? i can't pull it off
>>68958859
correct
>>68958560
>he pays only because he can afford it
Is Jones' reach an unfair advantage? Should he be forced to move up to HW?
>>68958855
Sage!
>>68958859
I agree. I 100% do not give a single fuck if a fighter is using steroids. Let them all use steroids for all I care, and let the ones who want to have a go at it the natural route give it a shot if they want. Who fucking cares, we're watching grown men try to knock each other's heads off and/or strangle each other ffs
>there are goofs in /heem/ *right now*, that don't trane in the gi 3x a week MINIMUM
Was a spicy roller list ever compiled?
>>68958876
Me, I'll probably give 'em something on Gadelha or whoever. Unless you got a better option.
>>68958876
I'll do fine with prepared material, but if they ask me questions I'll fall apart off the cuff
>>68958943
no such thing, submissions are for cowards
>>68958943
That was me.
So far I have
Demian Maia vs Ed Herman
Alex Caceres vs Jimy Hettes
Alex Caceres vs Roland Delorme
Carlos Newton vs Kazushi Sakuraba
Diego Sanchez vs Nick Diaz
Demian Maia vs Gunnar Nelson
Ayaka Hamasaki vs Amber Brown
Phil De Fries vs. Rob Broughton
Fabricio Werdum vs John Olav Einemo
Alan Patrick vs. Damien Brown
Nam Phan vs Jimy Hettes
Paddy Holohan vs Louis Smolka
Charles Oliveira vs Hatsu Hioki
DaMarques Johnson vs. John Maguire
Any other suggestions?
>>68958992
YAWN
>>68958992
You got any WMMA sensual rollers?
If you are subscribed to UFC Fight Pass and don't find yourself using the site remember to cancel your subscription before they slap your bank account with 95 bucks out of nowhere. Then you're in a position where you've already paid for it, so you go back to using it begrudgingly, then a year goes by you used it once and they've taken another 95! BEWARE these Zuffa people know how to make money they don't give a f***. I wonder what it's like to actually work for this crooked ass company. I just wasted 95 bucks AGAIN F***! F***!
>>68958945
i don't know if there's any value in it, claudia already passed a bunch of their meme tests
>>68958780
literally every person in this thread
>>68958992
Brian Ebersole vs. T.J. Waldberger
wtf
>>68959041
No? Hamasaki vs Brown is a good womens roller though.
Boxing is way more entertaining than mma.
Prove me wrong.
>>68959041
this is all I have
>>68959046
you are genuinely retarded mate
>>68959079
Narc on DC
+1 Trickery (Deceit)
>>68959096
Added to the list. I will makea screenshot someday.
Should I add numbers to them like the bangers?
>>68959122
fuck off zuffa shill
>>68958888
this
>>68959128
you gotta have some specific information to make it worth their time, like the name of a place they'll be/where they're getting drugs from etc.
>>68959150
Yes
>>68958992
Nogueira vs. Couture
WE ARE LIVE
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQhttps://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
>>68959147
That was pretty lame. Why wouldn't he at least try to land a punch on his way back in?
>>68959211
cheers keep em coming
>>68959166
rich piana
>>68959227
No! Frick off >:(
>>68959112
I watched a bunch of Ali and Tyson fights on youtube once and they were all boring as fuck. Naseem Hamed is the only fun boxer I've ever watched
>>68957926
eww
why hasn't joe rogan been raided
>>68959276
Did you watch Thurman vs Porter last night?
Spicy af foty
>>68959227
You're going to turn yourself into a cuck listening to this shit, Anon.
>>68959227
>You are now about to witness; the awesome, crushing might of KNUCKLE UUUUUUPPPPPP
>>68959227
>this nigger talkin bad about brexit
wtf
>>68959331
cuckle up
>Things I like about new fightpass
New player
Saves fights/videos where you left off
Reccomended fights
>>68959371
he's an idiot
>>68959342
>>68958017
>>68959373
>being a progressive free thinker is being a cuck
only on 4chan
>>68959371
everyone under the age of 65 is talking bad about brexit
>>68959394
>I'm a samurai
>>68959424
>progressive free thinker
>on if i did it eugene said he is voting for hillary clinton
>>68959448
not me
>>68959424
>unirionically describing yourself as a freethinker
>""""""""""progressive"""""""""
>>68959466
the other choice is Drumpf
Eugene is pretty badass, has legit jits, he is the epitome of an alpha male.
>>68959371
>I had the idea for yahoo before yahoo
>>68959488
wew
Do I watch these boring af fights or the Olympic trials?
>>68959599
b-both
>>68959599
https://youtu.be/kyfURYcqeYQ
>>68959599
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHDpO4RGRZo
how about the new TFATK?
>>68959516
such a qt
>>68959645
objectively a 10
>>68959227
>based nigga that knows even less about EU politics than me breaking down Brexit
webm that transition?
>>68959516
eww
>>68959599
Olympic Trials
real fight fans don't support any government or society
what fites are you guys watching?
Where were you when you realized Aldo is still THICC?
>>68959524
>>68959812
SHOOTO
(FOR FREE)
>>68959790
>you will never invent your own country in the middle of the ocean and start up Waterworld FC
>>68959812
Shooto Brazil
Saw a pretty brutal heem
your thoughts when you see this image?
>>68959790
I'm a citizen of Earth
>>68959827
Can't wait for this meme to die on July 9th desu
>>68959516
I'd heem this twink
>>68959891
Your tears will be delicious my friend
What is your UFC walkout song?
>>68959827
I am da bigger man here
>>68959524
>those complexions
Literally Luke Thomas-tier.
>>68959951
Luke Thomas obviously has some kind of mental illness.
>>68959946
Does anyone think Conor is on the gas?
>>68959943
Anything by Rocktagon
>>68959946
>168 pounds
>>68959943
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4Ok35HEJQ
>>68959524
would
>>68959940
Sure buddeh
>Aldo heems Frankie
>Conair looses again to Nate
>Aldo heems Mcgregor
>Looses belt
>Comits Sudoku
I can see this happening
>>68960083
noice
>>68960063
>>Aldo heems Frankie
>>68960051
>all the people at the gym who imitate conors movement
>>68960063
>Aldo heems Frankie
>>68960104
>>68960132
Fresh batch of (You)s lads
>>68960063
>Conair looses again to Nate
>Aldo heems Mcgregor
>>68960171
Those are the most likely outcomes of both those fights lad
>>68960104
>>68960132
capped. I see you guys here after the fight
>>68960023
nah just steaks
>>68960197
yeah, frankie hasn't been knocked out yet, all his losses are decision
>Aldo isn't shit
What's your favorite comeback /heem/?
Mine's Mir getting rocked then breaking Nog's arm and submitting him.
>Aldo won their 1st fight
>>68959943
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-yFs7ddeZmg
Post fighters you dislike that most of heem likes
I'll start
>Stephen Thompson
>BJ Penn
>>68960399
>implying most posters here watched MMA back then
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A1mL_8f0v1s
fight of the year candidate
>>68960712
>Mark Hunt
>Brendan Schaub
>Nick Diaz
>Conor McGregor
>>68960778
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iztwEyQCfkg
The USADA effect
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/6/26/12025798/georges-st-pierre-says-he-could-easily-fight-at-lightweight-in-ufc
>>68960881
He and Firas were saying that like 2 years ago at least.
>>68960850
>why the fuck are you talking to me crazy right now just do it
>>68960712
I'd say Schaub, but he's not a fighter
>>68960712
Mark Hunt
>>68960196
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rTnkXKTP7J4
>wew
it starts with one thing
>>68961002
Bless you you disgusting heathen
>>68961303
it starts just where the light exists
>>68961261
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l2EdqQll5oQ
>>68961261
She got that LONG DICK
