UPCOMING EVENTS (May):
5/18: TUF Season 23 EP 6 (?)
(((STARTS AT 10 PM EDT, 7 PM PDT, 3 AM BST)))
5/20: Bellator 155 (Carvalho vs Manhoef)
5/21: Venator FC 3 (Palhares vs Meek)
5/26: EFN 48: Moscow
5/27: ONE FC: Kingdom of Champions (Amnuaysirichoke vs Naito)
5/29: UFC FN 88 (Almeida vs Garbrandt)
UPCOMING EVENTS (June)
6/4: UFC 199 (Weidman vs Rockhold)
6/10: Titan FC 39 (Cavalcante vs Healy)
6/12: Pancrase 278 (Sunabe vs Haita)
6/17: ONE FC (TBA)
6/17: Bellator 156 (Galvao vs Dantas)
6/17: WSOF 31 (Ivanov vs Copeland)
6/18: UFC FN 89 (MacDonald vs Thompson)
6/24: Bellator 157 (Jackson vs Ishii)
6/25: GLORY 31 (Vakhitov vs Bouzidi)
PREVIOUS THREAD: >>67630704
NEWS:
>Cyborg calls out Honda over twitter instead of during her post fight interview
http://www.mmamania.com/2016/5/16/11684276/cris-cyborg-wants-ronda-rousey-ufc-205-new-york-unless-rowdy-scared-mma
>Demian Maia approaches multiple records
http://mmajunkie.com/2016/05/ufc-198-post-fight-facts-demian-maia-nears-top-of-ufcs-all-time-wins-and-submissions-list
>Cyborg is a favorite against Tate, underdog against Honda
http://mmajunkie.com/2016/05/following-ufc-debut-oddsmakers-say-cyborg-favored-over-tate-remains-underdog-against-rousey
>Robin Black commentary sample
https://youtu.be/_2SE2QDw5MY
JUST
HOT
FUCK
>>67636498
not this edition again
Post legendary webms
>he will save us from maia
Schaub just reminded me how many fucking juicers were at Black House
>Anderson
>Ortega
>Feijao
>Machida
>Kevin Casey
Soon to be caught
>Jacare
>RDA
>Aldo
>>67636571
poor sage
>>67636571
>he doesn't like Maia
>>67636548
How many more fucking times are you going to post this you weirdo?
No one cares. Everyone knows already
fill this thread up you goofs
>>67630704 →
just a reminder that Barberena is coming to slay all the memes in WW
>>67636498
>hot lava edition
no not again, we just had this thread
>>67636601
I care
>>67636576
Also Erick Silva
Also interesting the Nogueiras trained there, JDS, Glover
>>67636590
don't get me wrong, i respect maia and his sickening way of pressing opponents and grinding on and on
what maia needs is a well rounded opponent so they can outgrapple and outstrike eachother respectively
bambam is the guy to do it
Streaming UFC 110
Gonna stream 116 after this and some strikeforce after that.
>>67636626
Maia would fucking rape him on the ground and definitely outstrike him
>>67636642
Filipino wrestling
>>67636642
nightclub with a no sneakers policy
>>67636626
>bambam is the guy to do it
>>67636642
nigrate
>>67636626
Matt Brown could also have outstruck Maia if Maia gave him an opportunity to use his striking
The only people who can beat Maia are the ones with good enough footwork and TDD to prevent him from taking it to the ground
Most people in WW could outstrike Maia, they just don't get the chance to do that because he's a jitz god
>>67636719
he also has great wrestling
>>67636719
So basically only Nick Diaz,Rory and Wonderboy?I think Lawler loses if he fights Maia.
>>67636642
bath salts
Callen is getting BTFO
>its a rogaine shits on callen episode
>>67636736
lean and ecstasy
he's not eating her
>>67636498
>>>Robin Black commentary sample
>https://youtu.be/_2SE2QDw5MY
>"UFC Heavyweight Champ Werdum defends the most prestigious title in combat sports..."
and dropped
>>67636642
wtf
>it's am everyone gangs up on Bryan episode
>>67636791
live the meme or let it pass you by
How much longer until one of them namedrops Arianny and the shieks
>You don't have to celebrate it to enjoy it.
Callen is getting absolutely destroyed.
>>67636775
>the most prestigious title in combat sports
>>67636734
Lawler has great TDD and would pummel Maia standing up. It would be similar to the Rory fight in that if Maia cant finish it in the one or two opportunities on the ground he will gas and just get picked apart on the feet.
Callen has said literally nothing wrong. Rogan and Schaub are just unironic degenerates
>>67636734
The only way I could see Lawler beating Maia is by heem
Rory's beaten him before
Wonderboy got put into a grounded position/held against the cage a lot by Hendricks, I don't think he could get away with that against Maia
Not sure about Nick, doubt it though
http://m.sherdog.com/fighter/record/Demian-Maia-14637
>>67636926
Agreed but callen is actually smart and rogan and shaub are chimps
>>67636938
Hendricks had 1 actual takedown attempt against the cage against Wonderboy, and the attempt was stopped
>>67636956
That's a big Pepe.
>>67637011
Stop posting this you pedo fuck
>>67637011
No.
>>67637033
Who is your favorite UFC fighter?
>112" reach
Baba bows to no one
>>67637074
how high are you?
>>67637099
Fort McMurray/10
Is Joe Rogan a good stand-up comic?
>>67637126
nope, some of his shows on youtube
>>67637126
6/10, his shows get a chuckle out of me every now and again
>BRUUUUUUUUUUMMMMMBRRRRRRUMMMM
>>67637126
he has never made me laugh, unironically
>>67637126
Hit and miss
He looks very awkward on stage, can't really put my finger on it, seems really tense and anxious
>>67636601
is the prospect of joe moving going to make schaub cry
>>67637126
no
unfunny material and horrible delivery and presence
>>67637163
6/10 sounds right
>>67637311
Greg Giraldo and Patrice O'Neal are my 10/10 comedians for reference.
>>67637285
lol this is funnier than anything joe has ever said
fucking whitney cummings is funnier than joe rogan
>I went to that dark web
Joe isn't funny, on stage or doing his podcast.
>>67637345
why couldn't opie have died instead?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BQa9AidGVlY
>>67637345
>Greg Giraldo and Patrice O'Neal
literally who
bill burr > *
>>67637483
>literally who
all stand up comedy is garbage and comedy "fans" are all faggots.
Anyone else still listening to Rogan?
I went for a drink and when I come back they are talking about eating penises.
>>67637558
I'm listening to Schaub
>>67637483
greg is arguably the best roaster ever
Jamie, pull up that video of the guy eating his own dick.
>>67637552
>I've never listened to Norm Macdonald
>>67637585
>I've never listened to Artie Lange doing impressions of Norm Macdonald
who /schaub/?
>>67637641
>tfw high af so i know what /heem/ means
this is mindblowing lads.
>>67637649
No one fucking asked you
>>67637649
kill urself degenerate
>>67637649
>high af
absolutely degenerate
>>67637668
>There are people ITT that don't do BJJ WITH GI 7 times a week
>>67637649
disgusting
Daily reminder that people that don't do drugs are losers and degenerates that go against human nature and should be exterminated.
so if you want to succeed in the ufc and "win" a title you just have to starve to death for three weeks and cut 80lbs? interesting
>>67637683
Listen to this guy. He's so white he refuses to accept a blue belt.
Man, wtf is this live.
>>67637724
Have a (you) for the effort
>>67637645
what do you call that beard style?
>>67637725
Anyone listening to Rogan?
>>67637750
gone with the chin
>>67637705
>if you don't smoke weed you should be executed
don't cut yourself on that edge
>turn on rogaine
>talking about some guy who ate people
did they talk about mma?
>>67637750
The soft chin
>>67637772
Barely
>>67637645
are all people from los angeles this fucking tryhard? holy shit he's 33
>>67637795
>>67637705
>>67637771
>>67637795
schaub is from denver
>>67637771
That actually makes Cyborg look more feminine
If you look at her face in terms of proportions, she looks definitely female
>>67637801
is bryan callen a ____?
>>67637843
Alpha male?
>>67637705
>Argentinian
>Human
>>67637812
he's trying so hard to fit in he's wearing a dodgers cap
>>67637858
>Ameriburger
>Ape
With all this Mayweather Connor talk, how well would McGoobz fare against Pacquiao?
>>67638000
first round ko easily
>>67637879
what did he mean by this
>>67638000
asking this question likely means you don't belong here
why is football so hateable?
when's korean zombie coming back
>>67638074
R A R E
A
R
E
>>67638060
How good would Aldo have been?
>>67638074
He sucked it doesn't matter.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW
>>67638105
Shut the fuck up
>>67638105
>How good would Aldo have been?
careful with that edge
>>67638105
just fucking leave right now
>>67638105
Be careful with KZ
KZ is a killer
>last fight was a loss to aldo
he's a meme
>>67638128
at football dummy
>>67638217
it's harder to be a top level football player than it is to be a top mixed martial artist
>>67638236
That statement is bullshit.
90% of people are not ready to get hit in the face.
how is it possible that soccer is worse to watch than golf and baseball
Who gives a flying fuck about povertygrass
>>67638272
It's literally worse than watching poker.
>>67638270
yeah well watch the fights, they start getting him on the ground and they all squirm so....
phil davis hates getting hit, which is why he'll never be champ and never was
>>67638272
>>67638280
>>67638284
>>67638297
>The state of burger-posting
>>67638074
after he finishes his 2 years of mandatory military service, I think I heard he would be done in fall of this year
>>67638314
He said burger again!
>>67638314
>poverty and poor education: the country
>defending poverty and poor education: the sport
>>67636498
>>Cyborg is a favorite against Tate, underdog against Honda
not this shit again
>>67638321
>>67638330
He said poverty/malvinas/whiteman again!
What an intelligent young man.
>>67638317
>>67638074
yeah, he'll be back in the beginning of 2017 or the end of this year most likely
http://www.mmafighting.com/2016/3/23/11294532/with-military-service-coming-to-an-end-chan-sung-jung-focused-on
>>67638356
I hope he comes back juiced to the gills and destroys everyone
>>67638356
>giving a shit about asian ''''''fighters''''
isn't he the zilch who left the octagon crying?
EXTREMELY IMPORTANT POLL
https://twitter.com/ufc/status/732337181625212928
https://twitter.com/ufc/status/732337181625212928
https://twitter.com/ufc/status/732337181625212928
>>67638353
>this btfo
>this assmad
>>67638371
it's going to be overeem
>>67638270
you actually proved my point
when 90% of people aren't willing to do it it makes it a lot easier to get to the top if you are
>>67638371
Overeem is the next one.
>>67638386
this response should be good
how do we fix the argie casual, lads? im worried about him.
>>67638371
I just realized Overeem is gonna be the next champ.
>>67638386
But if 90% of people aren't even willing to do it it's much harder to get in if only 10% of the people are willing to do something
And those 10% of the people are prepared, very much
>>67638416
maybe he's just a teenager
>>67638422
In Bellator maybe lol
>>67638386
The fact that 90% of people aren't willing to do proves my point, it's so hard to do that only the """"elite"""" gets to do it.
If you are born in Argentina for example the chance of you getting to the highest level of soccer are pretty good if you know how to play.
Everyone has a friend, family or someone who plays at the professional level, a few of those go to play to europe.
![3796a0ef84ae2e0051587b7cd9b1b879[2].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/qTvGaik.jpg "3796a0ef84ae2e0051587b7cd9b1b879[2].jpg")
Will he ever recover?
How does Stipe do against
>Overeem
>Cain
>JDS rematch
>Schaub
>Brock Lesnar
>>67638416
Don't reply to me anymore
>>67638467
lel
>>67638464
What's your point? Most of Luke Thomas' prediction columns look like this and he's a veritable expert.
>>67638465
>Overeem
Starches, dusts, merks him. Not really but permaheems Overeems chin
>Cain
Banger, Cain grinds it out though
>JDS rematch
Slobberknocker like the first fight but Stipe prevails, he's more refined and explosive than ever
>Schaub
Schaub 2bh
>Brock
Bork gets hit once then crumbles and Stipe finishes him
>>67638465
>Overeem
I can see Stipe heeming Overeem.
>Cain
He loses by decision
>JDS
He loses by decision
>Schaub
Double heemy sleepy
>Brock Lesnar
Stipe by having intestines
>>67638464
>he didn't pick maia jacare and stipe
>McGobber was offered 100m by Mayweather for the fight
Holy shit, he can legit retire now. No more working for peanuts in the ufc. I would be happy if he retired after this fight
>>67638544
I don't think there is a man alive that would turn down that money to get heem'd by Mayweather
>>67638465
Overeem would meme on him.
Cain would kill him
JDS would win
Schuab will be closed casket
Bork will lose
>>67638544
>implying a UFC puppet can make decisions about his own carrer
Do people really think Stipe would stuff a Bork double leg
>>67638559
Imagine if Mayweather crumbles unda da leff ook.
It probably will never happen, but imagine if a potato farmer beats him when none of the other top boxers could
>>67638567
>implying argentinians are literate
take the proxy off
>>67638559
mayweather hasn't heemed anyone since 2011. when you take a mayweather payday you're getting paid to get tapped and hugged for 12 rounds and then lose a decision
>>67638590
It would be the confirmation of the dead of boxing.
>>67638599
I speak 2 languages and can understand and write 4 la, you better back up dude
>>67638617
This is because he is fighting elite level boxers. Conor would get humiliated early.
>>67637126
He's good but not great. If you can get past the whole "dude we're all just a bunch of monkeys pushing buttons lmao" he can make you laugh sometimes.
But he's certainly not one of the best.
>>67638623
>I speak 2 languages
ooga booga doesn't count
>>67638642
Yes it does
I'm listening to FATK with Cerrone. How come Schaub turns into a super dick when a guest is on. Like Callen will make a joke, them Cerrone laughs and Schaub will tell Callen to stop and move on. I've noticed he does it on JRE too. But when it's him and Callen he's fine.
>>67638662
gotta show the guest/joe who the alpha in the room is bro.
I reckon I could heem half of you every here
>>67638623
wow u speak english and ur native language, so impressive. that's totally something to be proud of and totally not normal for a third world cuck victim of the American Hegemon.
>can understand and write 4
pathetic grasping spic. you """""know""""" 2 languages and that's it.
>>67638712
How many do you speak
>>67638623
i love those pictures
>>67638655
I know English, French, and Pig Latin. Get on my level.
>>67638739
>not failing 1st year spanish
i can speak c++ fluently
>>67638739
impressive
>>67638721
3, but i don't brag about it like it implies superiority in any way. a south american shitpuddle bragging about being able to speak TWO languages is beyond laughable. it's just pathetic.
>>67638756
useless language
>>67638756
too bad you're not retired
>>67638794
>but i don't brag about it like it implies superiority in any way
it does though
i can barely speak english
>>67638844
being american and monolingual is a sign of American Hegemonic power. be proud, patriot.
>>67638464
Same retard
when?
>>67639105
beet past his prime
>>67638758
>>67638464
>>67638979
/heem/ btfo as usual
>Jewriel Smellwani still flat out refuses to discuss the 100% confirmed to be habbening Mayweather vs McGregor fight of all centuries
Why is he so butthurt?
>>67639105
Never
>>67637074
Someone needs to compile a list of all baba fighting webms. I've tried to watch his channel but most of it is just boring roachspeak. His style needs to be perfected if I will ever best him for the men's atomweight title
HW is such a joke division
>>67639105
My boy baba has a huge hand speed advantage, but beet's microhead may present a difficult target
>>67640101
Did Stipe bully you in middle school or something m8
gone for over an hour and only 12 new posts. /heem/ truly sleepy.
>>67640467
We're done.
Speaking of, why exactly did /heem/ become a general? We didn't used to be one
>>67640210
Has he ever submitted anyone?
>>67640548
When Schaub posters needed a constant outlet
>>67640548
When mandrama got one. They in their endless inferiority complex made one.
american "football" is basically a bunch of fat nigs dressed as clowns hugging and some fast nigs dressed as clowns running while this one (1) guy dressed as a clown throws a ball
its the most corny comercial boring shit ever, its literally usa the sport
how dare a fan of that shit speak ill of based football
>>67640101
It is.
>>67640629
stop talking about football on /heem/, just go here
>>67627535
>>67627535
and whine
>>67640697
im talking about handegg tho
Brazil. Stop.
>>67640764
copy and paste it in /NFL/
see what happens
>>67631673
holy shit jamie upload the podcast already
isnt a coyote like a small dog
>>67640875
yeah they are only dangerous if you are weak and theres like 15 of them
>>67640855
I get those assholes on my yard all the time. They run away at the sight of anything. Still must have felt pretty cool in front of your wife.
>>67640989
Yeah exactly lol. Women think coyotes are like wolves.
>Robin Black is picking Weidman in the rematch against Rockhold
I assume Bryan "Curi...Cur..whatever" Barberena is another collective boy of /heem/ by now
>>67640101
He will lose his belt at his first defence
>>67641193
Yeah, he's the meme killer we all needed.
>>67641193
The MMA Lab doesn't fuck around with their decision game
>>67641224
She got all 10's tonight. She actually looks like a professional dancer.
I still can't believe she was +1000 to win it lol
>>67641542
>She actually looks like a professional dancer.
She was, wasn't she? Not professional but she did dancing and shit. I don't get how that makes it fair on other contestants if she's clearly experienced? Isn't it supposed to be celebs who haven't done dancing?
Maybe I'm talking about my ass I don't know shit about dancing and the only shit I know of PVZ comes from /heem/ because people don't stop posting her despite all the chimp calling
What did he mean by that lads ?
https://twitter.com/sagenorthhcutt/status/732387681083269120
>>67641621
fake account why are you trying to ruse us? Not funny this is a serious place of discussions
>>67641621
>https://twitter.com/sagenorthhcutt/status/732387681083269120
they are making superior aryan warrior babies, imagine if they bred, how blond and beautiful and perfect their children would be
>>67641621
fake acc haha
>>67641612
PVZ did some dancing before she was a fighter, and I'd argue that she does have an advantage over the others, but that advantage is not that she used to dance. It's that she's used to training every single day and they aren't.
The judges are way, way more critical of her dances, they know that she's a professional athlete and that she has dancing experience. Last week a judge took a point away because her shoulder blade stuck out during one of her spins and the dance she did was fuckin unreal.
>>67641673
>>67641664
I dun goofed
My apologies
>>67641717
Apology accepted - you're still cool to me, mum.
>I am not Sage Northcutt @sagenorthcutt but I would love to be put in contact with him or his father Mark
what kind of creep does this?
>plants give off oxygen yet heem is vegan
why are you eating the life givers?
>>67641930
>>67641998
when have soccer kicks been legal in the UFC?
>>67642040
Always, just not to the head
>>67642040
you've always been able to kick the body of a downed opponent dude
>>67642040
As long as its to the body its legal, just not the head
>>67641957
Their biggest impact is sequestering carbon dioxide. Plants can be quite niggardly with regards to oxygen release
>>67642069
>>67642071
>>67642086
how come people never did it before and why didn't the former Pride guys like Shogun and Wandy do them in their UFC debuts? Thought it was a major reason why they were so good back in Japan
>>67642124
you dumb
>>67636569
lmfao I need sound for this. I bet she did some fucked up shriek
>>67642124
It's quite unusual to have an opponent in a position where you can just kick the shit out of his ribs
![Cin8tAAXEAAUiry[1].jpg](https://i.imgur.com/v6F3QU7.jpg "Cin8tAAXEAAUiry[1].jpg")
Oh fuck, I knew about the Tecia post but I totally missed Sage's answer
Kid really has no clue, eh ?
>>67642345
There's no way they didn't
>>67641840
What did you just say about me, sir? I’ll have you know when I was 8, I got on the front page of KARATE Magazine, and I’ve been involved in numerous mixed martial arts events, and I have over 7 confirmed wins. I am training at tristar with Mr. George and I’m the top karate fighter in the whole of Katy, Texas. You are nothing to me but just another opponent. I will spinning heel-kick you with precision the likes of which has only been demonstrated by Mr. Rogan. You think you can get away with being mean to me over the Internet? Think again, sir. As we speak I am consuming my 101% protein waffles, and I'm balancing on a gym ball with one hand right now so you better prepare for my athleticism, friend. The athleticism that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your cardio. You’re going to face defeat, sir. I selfie anywhere, anytime, and I can flip in over seven hundred ways, and that’s part of my warm up. Not only am I extensively trained in flipping, but I have access to the entire arsenal of Reebok merchandise and I will use it to its full extent to get more likes and comments than you can ever hope to imagine. If only you could have known what a bad match-up your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have done some kettlebells . But you couldn’t, you can't, and now you’re paying the price, you idiot. I will use you to impress Mr. Dana and you will be sent back to Legacy. You’re going to lose, sir.
>>67642672
>you idiot
whoa strong language warning please
>>67642672
>>67642754
I'd fight both of you, slip your first haymaker with ease because you're overzealous and looking for the KO, which was clearly evident based on your body language and mewvement, then I immediately counter with a left uppercut right elbow hook to the nose combo, step in for a hard judo toss but instead of tossing, I do a quick capoeira handstand and donkey kick you square in the nuts, now you're reeling in pain and I turn to face the other guy, but he's not even ready to go because he's worried about what I'm capable of doing because he just saw me kick you in the nuts, he goes to square up but I throw a lightning fast straight fingered jab to the eyes, causing him to immediately recoil and cover his face with both hands, which, you guessed it, leaves his groin unprotected, and of course I capitalize, quickly sliding to my knees like I just scored a goal in soccer, and ripping a Mendes-esque right uppercut square to the bottom of the scrotum, crushing both testes between my hard uppercut and the pelvic bone, at which point I turn around and quickly crack you with an oblique kick but it lands directly on the front of your throat and now you can't breathe, so I ensure that my rear foot is placed directly on top of your testicles, but the second guy is beginning to get up, covering his balls and his eyes, so I wind up and put all of my full body torque into a tornado kick, but just as the kick is about to land on the side of his temple and likely kill him, I land gently on my feet, tip m'fedora and walk out of the bar, everyone staring silently with their mouths wide, and just before I walk out into the street I turn and stare directly into your eyes and say fuck u goof, I whip out my phone and I've already got fight pass loaded up, I click on recent additions to fight pass and quickly locate a spicy banger, and it buffers as I step out into the street, everyone knowing that I am, by far, the truest of all fight fans
