/heem/: mma edition
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You are currently reading a thread in /sp/ - Sports
UPCOMING EVENTS:
4/27: TUF Season 23 EP 2 (((LIVE)))
4/30: Titan FC 38 (Carl vs Muhammad)
5/6: ONE FC 41 (Bigdash vs Butorin)
5/7: Invicta 17 (Evinger vs Schneider)
5/8: UFC FN 87 (Overeem vs Arlovski)
5/13: GLORY 30 (Marcus vs Jacoby)
5/14: UFC 198 (Werdum vs Miocic)
5/14: Bellator 154 (Davis vs King Mo)
5/20: Bellator 155 (Carvalho vs Manhoef)
5/21: Venator FC 3 (Palhares vs Meek)
5/27: ONE FC: Kingdom of Champions (Amnuaysirichoke vs Naito)
5/29: UFC FN 88 (Almeida vs Garbrandt)
6/4: UFC 199 (Weidman vs Rockhold)
6/12: Pancrase 278 (Sunabe vs Haita)
6/17: ONE FC (TBA)
6/17: Bellator 156 (Galvao vs Dantas)
6/17: WSOF 31 (Ivanov vs Copeland)
6/18: UFC FN 89 (MacDonald vs Thompson)
6/24: Bellator 157 (Jackson vs Ishii)
6/25: GLORY 31 (Vakhitov vs Bouzidi)
7/1: ONE FC (TBA)
7/7: UFC FN Las Vegas (TBA)
7/8: UFC TUF 23 Finale (Jedrzejczyk vs Gadelha)
7/9: UFC 200 (DC vs Jones 2)
7/13: UFC FN 91 (TBA)
NEWS:
https://www.youtube.com/user/mmadigest
http://mmajunkie.com/
http://mmafighting.com/
http://www.mmamania.com/
http://www.bloodyelbow.com/
>Muslim doesn't want to sleep in a room full of athletic women
Why is Islam so gay?
STOP MAKING EARLY THREADS YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT
JUST FUCKING WAIT FOR ONCE
HOW HARD IS IT TO FUCKING WAIT 30 MINUTES
WHAT FUCKING DIFFERENCE IN YOUR LIFE DOES IT MAKE TO MAKE THESE FUCKING THREADS HOURS EARLY, NOT EVERYONE WANTS A NEW FUCKING THREAD EVERY SINGLE TIME
AND WHY THE FUCK DO YOU HAVE AN ENTIRE FUCKING PAGE OF EVENTS LISTED, WHO GIVES A FLYING FUCK ABOUT HALF OF THAT SHIT, SOME OF THOSE EVENTS DONT EVEN HAVE MAIN EVENTS YET YOU FUCKING DIPSHIT
FUCK
OFF
>>67156195
Sex outside of wedlock is haram
>>67156203
Being ironically buttmad is haram
Claudia
>>67156152
ffs is it so difficult to link the previous thread?
>>67156319
Joanna
>>67156367
give him a break dude, he tried hard
>>67156303
>>67156375
"go back home, go back to the jungle"
based jo
That confrontation was getting so fucking hot I had to open a window.
>>67156395
BUT IN THE END
>>67156395
and got so far
Foreign trash talk is so cringey.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=liIPwsDrnU8
>Kenny in the comments.
I think I should stop watching this season right now. Claudia is honestly one of the most attractive people I have ever seen. It feels like I'm falling in love.
stream lads please
>>67156558
ufc.tv u goof
joanna is a bully
i don't like her
STREAM REEEEE
>>67156491
imagine touching that butt
>>67156152
lol this op is so bad
>>67156617
thnx goof
>>67156610
I imagine the outer centimeters are velvety soft... and then rock hard. Like rebar wrapped in foam.
How was the first episode? I honestly thought the premiere was tonight and still forgot about it because >TUF
>>67156658
Rountree is an animal.
Claudia is a goddess.
Joanna is a disgusting slavrat.
>>67156658
Actually pretty good. Some good fighters this season.
Claudia looks way better on video than in pictures.
>>67156726
people have already turned on joanna? figured it'd take a while
>>67156609
http://www.stream2watch.co/live-now/live-tv/us/fox-sports-live-stream
where has this garden gnome with hands of stone been?
>>67156658
Khalil is bull. Joanna cunt goblin canklet bitch. Claudia is muh grill
>>67156797
>you pissin me off you damn roosters
who /khalil/ here?
>>67156797
>Polly want a cracker? Polly better shut up before I slap her.
>>67156890
>Claudia
>girl
Trap lovers coming over from b now??
khalil looks old as hell
>joanna will never scream at you like that
why is every black athlete memexplosive and an animal?
kinda racist desu
>>67156203
you. i like you
that bitch want my BOY
Holy shit, mma fans (maybe just in NY) are some cringeworthy fags. Why even let the public in the press conferences.
>bitch already getting blacked
Every single time.
>>67157127
>being this much of an insecure faggot
some guys brought the bantz, fuck off
>>67156868
He actually had Dengue Fever
>>67157110
We all agree that 198 is more stacked than 200, right?
>>67156203
kek'd
>>67157127
casual/justbleed/WWE fans will always outnumber the rest m8
it wasn't long ago every fucking hipster was wearing a honda housey shirt
how do i achieve dong-mode?
>>67157177
no shit shercuck
>>67157218
3 Steaks
30 Bananas
7 Eggs
M I N I M U M
>>67157218
Gas
This is pretty much how all polish people behave desu. I hope Claudia kills her.
Claudia is so sweet and cute
Joanna is a cunt
watching foreign bitches argue in broken language is hilarious.
Jesus Christ I hate Joanna.
>>67157177
I think so, biggest fights on 200 are rematches. Kelvin/Hendricks and Moose/Brunson dont interest me at all
i want to hug claudia desu :'(
lmao Joanna has the belt is still getting verbally clobbered by a hue, hesus
is joanna shook?
Is Joanna TUF going to be like Ronda TUF?
JOANNA B T F O
B T F O
JOANNA CONFIRMED FOR UGLY
B T F O
>heem goes from loving Joanna to hating her in 40 minutes
>>67157409
worse so far
>>67157418
always hated her lad. the p4p qt meme was insufferable
>>67157418
i'd still fuck her i just wouldn't kiss her anymore
>woman already breaking down and crying
jesus
This British girl is so fucking lame.
>I know, I'll fake a seizure, that'll get me the bullcock I desire
>>67156210
If sex equals sleeping, you're doing it wrong.
>>67157418
nah I haven't been following TUF but they've been shitting on her since the presser
jesus Roundtree should just stay away from the sick bitch, he's courting trouble
>pretend to be sick so the black bull will give you attention
>>67157409
I think so. I've already abandoned Joanna for Claudia.
this bitch is gonna get blacked isn't she
ariel at it again lads
>>67157477
>>67157498
will brits ever recover?
>>67157409
Miesha was still a bitch and so was her faggot boyfriend, so it softened the blow for Ronda being a cunt. Meanwhile Claudia has been acting like a sweetheart and Joanna has just been a complete cunt.
>>67157477
I got a fever
and the only prescription is BULLCOCK
They are talking about us on the /j/ board again. Some Anon is complaining that we never hit 500 posts
on the /heem/ threads before we start a new one
Someone go back to the old thread and make it 500.
>>67157281
nah, i have a close friend who is a polish model. she's damn hot and very shy and demure. sucks joana is coming off as a cunt here. i kinda dug her before. man, am i the only one who wishes TUF would branch out of this everyone stuck in a house rut? i really dug that season where it was just fights and some fighter background and interviews. this Real World shit has got to go.
Wait I thought Schaub signed with lellator...
>>67157528
I think she took one too many bluster/strut lessons from conard
>>67157568
>someone
Fuck off you goof
what's /j/ anyway?
SCHAUB ALERT
This bitch is fucking insane. Can't wait to watch her fight.
>>67157443
yeah I bet you did lol
>>67157568
stop making multiple threads then lol
>>67157378
>>67157409
What did she do I missed it
>oh god Khalil please cum on my gap teeth
>>67157644
She's been posturing up on Claudia and her coaches constantly because "muh belt"
>>67157644
she was talking shit to this hue that didn't speak english so Claudia was like "if you're going to insult someone, at least do it to someone who can understand you" then joanna got mad and was like IM THE CHAMPION
>>67157644
instigating bantz and fumbling her lines
"Oh, btw, bonuses are $25k each. Have a nice fight "
>>67157663
this bitch is going to meme her way into winning it all.
>>67157663
>pls heal me khalil pleeeease
Claudia had a good point about Johanna thanking the judges. That's pretty lame.
>>67157635
>he thinks all American flags are the same person
Khalil is a MUUUUNNNSSSTTTEEERR lads
>>67157753
there's only one fucking person around here that cares if a thread makes it to 500 bud, you're not fooling anyone
don't know who's gonna win this one
>>67157770
explain me then
post >yfw arlovski/overeem double ko
>>67157797
...
>>67157687
That's pretty low
>>67157801
It's the Obama generation. What do you expect lad?
>>67157770
>the beginning stages of schizophrenia
I haven't made an op in 2 years
>>67157807
cucked
BTFO
>>67157840
I literally purged the cucks today
>>67157813
heres a (You) but this is a bad time to fish lad
>>67157801
I don't know if I've just been on 4chan too long but I live in a rich area with 2% black people and have been noticing a lot more interracial couples where the dude's a huge buff black guy and the chick's like a 5/10. It just makes me wonder what their jobs are. I'm assuming all of the black guys are dentists.
>mooment
>change level
>mooment
>change level
Corey is a goof, he's gonna get heem'd
Holy shit he tapped to that??
TEAM JOANNA BTFO
YOANNA YUNDJAYREKT
Cucks BTFO
Smoked.
>I foot swept you and put my hand on your head like you were my bitch...and I made you cry
What did he mean by this
BLEACHED
both these guys sucked
interesting
BTFO BTFO BTFO
JOANNA KEKED
KEKS BTFO, KHALIL WON'T BLACK THAT BISH
Absolutely BLOWN THE FUCK OUT
>all those sluts lining up to hug khalil
Fuckin thirsty hoes.
>giving a victory speech for the man who destroyed you
Wow that's pathetic.
>>67157987
fuck off they're friends goof.
joanna btfo
>>67157944
gustafsson actually beat jones
and jones will lose against dc this time
>claudia and her team still being nice and hugging khalil
>joanna looking like she wants to murder everyone
>claudia not picking the sick girl just to meme their team into a victory
this entire show was a mistake for joanna champ
>khalil, congratulations
BTFO
>>67157985
bbc dreams brah
Tatiana has quite the jaw on her lads
>Implying I wouldn't heem each and every one of you semen reeking neets
>>67158014
i agree with this whole post
>Schaub
WE FUCKING /SCHAUB/ NOW BOYS
a fuck no
FUCKING SCHAUB
SCHAUB = HEEM
who's the clown in the striped socks?
>staring across the court
>basketball americans.
>>67158014
When Jones cucks DC I want you to apologize
>I didnt win because I didnt want to hurt him
This is honestly one of the most awkward interviews I've seen in a while.
>>67158059
>>67158080
BASED, I TUNED BACK IN BASED SCHAUB
Schaub tries too hard.
>>67158136
He had an injured foot, the other guy could have kicked the shit out of it
>foot stomps would have won you the fight
lol nah
McMeme is ded
>>67158173
He died in March
>>67158173
>choke was deep
dumb cunt doesn't know what that means, does she
>>67158168
rose looks like a mong
>>67158213
She really wears her past of childhood sexual abuse on her face.
>>67158213
she's east euro, it shows
>>67158014
>gustafsson actually beat jones
beat him so bad he wanted to do nothing but run away for the last two rounds
hahahaha
fuckin retards man
>>67158229
now i have to fap
>>67158213
Rose is like that one girl you see and everyone with a brain knows to steer clear and guys who like to ''fix'' girls try to fix her over and over and she keeps being a mess and you're just watching from the outside while lifes get destroyed and think to yourself why won't she stop being such a mess on her own.
>>67158229
wew
Khalil is such a fucking meme lads. He tries so hard to be positive and thinks hes so tough but then just gets choked like a goof
karyn has a nice booty
I bet Daniel Cormier is a John Kasich supporter
>>67158157
downloads of his podcast are steadily declining and he is slipping into desperation mode
dc waiting for jon to finish showering lads
>>67158291
Karyn vs. Sage Steele, who wins?
>>67158229
I don't know what you're talking about.
>>67156152
Post yfw Jones dq'd for eyepokes
>never wins again
>>67158334
>I'm cummin for that ass Jon
>>67158291
looks more like hillary desu
what a shill
Rose seems stoned.
>>67158317
Because Callen is away for comedy specials more and more and when callen is there Schaub is just talking over him all the time, people don't like a stupid brute talking he's the fighter and not the talker.
>He's the fighter
I know, I know but you get my point.
>>67158317
The cage used to be so much smaller. I wish it was still that way
>>67158386
>I know they wanna punch each other in the face...
>But...
>Like....
>It's not like....
>They're like....
>Mortal...uh....enemies though...
Fuckin WEW
>>67158229
wew looks like it rn
>>67158418
Jesus christ. This is the perfect rose.
>>67158339
I would.
I don't care what you cunts say. My cock could probably tear her tiny frame in half.
I'm not Ngannou, but my dick is pretty ginormous.
i can't figure out if she has an accent or not desu
i want furiosa to bite my balls
Is Schaub trying to fuck rose?
>>67158448
I think she's just white trash.
>>67158418
fugg
Tecia BTFO BTFO
rose seems qt here
>>67158448
she sounds like a wigger
>>67158418
>>67158339
will shaved heads become the norm for wmma?
>>67158502
kek
I like him on JRE, but Schaub comes across really badly on normie television.
>>67158502
Whoa... think she'd ever do it?
>>67158502
She looks like fucking Bat-Boy without hair.
was is schaub being an insufferable shill?
and what was that with dc saying he wants to watch this show over and over?
fucking whopped goofs
>>67158530
He's used to be horrible on JRE until Joe put him in the reality check division telling him to retire because he's not a fighter but an athlete.
pick 1
>>67158502
>>67158502
>>67158418
>tfw rose will never be cute again
>>67158552
>someone on /heem/ remembers batboy
you're not so bad after all adan
>>67158562
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7FUmBrhz2Q4
The best breakdown ever
>>67158563
I'll take my chances with the disembodied hand in the corner.
Schaub is such a fucking faggot
>>67158563
Thick, fridge Honda is best Honda.
>>67158658
i know, he's a goof
>>67158658
he's trying too hard
>Was there sexual tension in the TUF house
>White guy: Not at all, no. None whatsoever.
>Big black bull: Uhhh I'm gonna say the opposite.
FUCK
>>67158658
he's the fucking GOAT, he would HW champ right now
>khalil denying those thirsty bitches
based af
>>67158556
he's broke and impregnated his maid. It's just a matter of time before he comes back to /heem/ to spam himself
Schaub actually just ended that segment by saying "Hey bro, you know you're a dimepiece now, right?"
>youre a dimepeice just want you to know that
>uh thanks
schaub is fag
>>67158737
see
>>67158696
>>67158754
>>67158762
Why does he try so hard?
why's he so based bros
im officially changing from a schaubposter to s ngannouposter lads
>>67158229
>you will never molest cunny rose
>>67158737
Fighters confirmed to shill themselves on /heem/
>Jon ''Cokehead'' Jones
>Brendan ''Pregnant in the 3rd term'' Schaub
Who else?
Honorary mention
>Young Jamie delivering our banter to Joe
>>67158815
>schaub btfo fox, "they can take their meme rating shows"
>fox comes back crawling for schaub ratings
based
>>67158820
why not take the chance to let go of the autism
>>67158815
Truly an alpha, only natty HW, would've been undefeated with USADA testing
>joanna is a cunt
why the fuck is khalil still there? Isn't a loss an elimination?
>>67158855
B A S E D
CAN'T SHAKE DOWN THE BIG BROWN
I just started coming to this thread from /mlb/ and came here for the McGregor fight. Is this all a joke? I mean honestly you guys go on about Joe Rogan who isn't even a fighter. He's a commentator. Some stupid podcasts with some comedian and Schaub (I remember watching him on TUF when MMA was on fire). An MMA journalist people dislike for whatever reason. When you watch a game no one talks about Joe Buck. No one in /NFL/ does that. Then you go on about their personalities and diets and how you are stronger and tougher than them.Posters threatening other posters with assault. Why you should be on whoever's team and how you aren't invited because there aren't any invitations. Now I see people discussing which ring girls are hotter. It's bizarre.
>>67158915
Get in my fucking guard
>>67158777
insecurity
>>67158961
too fucking alpha. based schaub
>tfw ywn be this alpha
>>67156319
>Knee Exploders - 4 sets of 15
>>67158915
i would heem you in an instant, be careful
lads
i miss conor
>>67159073
>tfw no good fighters to trigger /heem/ with since conor lost
>>67159060
>>67158915
I'd fight both of you, slip your first haymaker with ease because you're overzealous and looking for the KO, which was clearly evident based on your body language and mewvement, then I immediately counter with a left uppercut right elbow hook to the nose combo, step in for a hard judo toss but instead of tossing, I do a quick capoeira handstand and donkey kick you square in the nuts, now you're reeling in pain and I turn to face the other guy, but he's not even ready to go because he's worried about what I'm capable of doing because he just saw me kick you in the nuts, he goes to square up but I throw a lightning fast straight fingered jab to the eyes, causing him to immediately recoil and cover his face with both hands, which, you guessed it, leaves his groin unprotected, and of course I capitalize, quickly sliding to my knees like I just scored a goal in soccer, and ripping a Mendes-esque right uppercut square to the bottom of the scrotum, crushing both testes between my hard uppercut and the pelvic bone, at which point I turn around and quickly crack you with an oblique kick but it lands directly on the front of your throat and now you can't breathe, so I ensure that my rear foot is placed directly on top of your testicles, but the second guy is beginning to get up, covering his balls and his eyes, so I wind up and put all of my full body torque into a tornado kick, but just as the kick is about to land on the side of his temple and likely kill him, I land gently on my feet, tip m'fedora and walk out of the bar, everyone staring silently with their mouths wide, and just before I walk out into the street I turn and stare directly into your eyes and say fuck u goof, I whip out my phone and I've already got fight pass loaded up, I click on recent additions to fight pass and quickly locate a spicy banger, and it buffers as I step out into the street, everyone knowing that I am, by far, the truest of all fight fans
why couldn't we save him?
ATTENTION SCHAUB POSTERS
https://youtu.be/gKkKdcgxvdo
>>67159073
I do too babe, but he'll be back. Maybe not in the UFC, maybe not even in the cage, maybe not even in Mixed Martial Arts... but he'll be back.
>>67159143
fuck off goof
>>67159179
he was destined to become the penguin
>>67156203
>>67159228
>tfw I never listened to a Schlobcast
>>67159321
can we do this with based ngannou?
>>67159228
>tfw ywn be schaub
>>67156944
who /houston/ here?
>>67159498
who /ngannou/ here?
who /condito/ here
>>67159464
wtf race is he?
>>67159554
american
>>67159546
True Welterweight champ
>>67159554
he's called the hybrid for a reason lad
>>67159554
He claims to be half French and half German.
>>67159596
>condit beat lawler
>>67159546
current WW champion of the world right there
>>67159614
1, 3, 4
Hell even 2
>>67159614
My mother and I both thought he won.
>>67159614
Robbie Lawler is literally 1-2 (one win, two losses) in his last three fights.
>>67159659
>1-2 (one win, two losses)
Why exactly did you feel it necessary to explain what those numbers mean?
>>67159635
>>67159642
>>67159659
>>67159701
>muh big mean hyper-aggro ape
>>67159546
the best pound4pound fighter who is not obviously natty, tbqh
>>67159701
stop triggering me brendan you fucking bully
condit won you fucking prick
would nate heem robbie?
