UPCOMING EVENTS:
4/2 - WSOF 30 (Branch vs Starks)
4/8 - Legacy FC 53 (Lima vs. Trocoli)
4/10 - UFC FN 86 (Rothwell vs Dos Santos)
4/15 - ONE FC Global Rivals (Askren vs Aleksakhin)
4/16 - UFC on Fox 19 (Nurmagomedov vs Ferguson)
4/16 - Lellator 152 (Freire vs Campos)
4/16 - Glory 29 (Holzken vs Kongolo)
4/17 - Rizin 1 (Fujita vs Prochazka)
4/22 - Lellator 153 (Koreshkov vs Henderson)
4/23 - UFC 197 (Cormier vs Jones 2)
5/6 - ONE FC (TBA)
5/8 - UFC FN 87 (Overeem vs Arlovski)
5/14 - UFC 198 (Werdum vs Miocic)
NEWS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-GWOtRnK5a8
FIGHTER VIDEOS:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vVKTvh16aE4
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T8Fr_IXOi3A
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g0kvb5AwMsU
Artem
Gus
>>66430857
I DON'T GIVE A DUCK
>>66430857
wow I'm not about to swear on a work safe board
artem will clatter hafael's head of the canvas
brendan snob
>>66430820
thank you. pls keep posting this important meme
N8
>>66430954
I DON'T GIVE A *UCK
>>66430954
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
>>66430946
You're welcome for my service.
>its a brazilian fighter walking out to linkin park episode
>>66431019
CRAWLING IN MY SKIN
>>66430820
>what did he say? He wants to suck my what?
>>66430791
This image is the most /heem/ of all the /heem/.
>>66431081
>>66431161
>Cheick is clearly out twice
>Doesnt get stopped
>>66431176
Clearly defending himself every time.
>>66431176
Clearly he wasn't.
>>66431228
>>66431240
He is literally out cold for a second
>>66431250
He literally knocked him the fuck out, so the fight shouldn't have been stopped if he can continue fighting.
>>66431289
I will literally delete your chin if you carry on lad
>>66431298
Oi, less of that.
>>66431357
Fight me lad
Dead thread
Why is everyone out tonight and not a loser like tonight
Happy (late) easter lads
Have some artem OC
>>66431603
based neet
>>66431176
dan knew glass jaw barry would get KO'd by a gust of wind so he gave kongo all the time
>>66431556
THIS
>>66431161
Could see many refs stopping that fight before the comeback
POST YOU FUCKS
>>66431556
Just finished Easter dinner with the f
It's strange how no one sees what a bitch Joanna is, famlamy
>>66431995
do all of the ufc fighters get stoned on easter, or wha?
>>66432050
Shut up.
>>66431950
>tfw everyone is celebrating easter and actually taking a break from /heem/ for once
>tfw we're just sat here at 1am waiting for people to post on an anime image board
>>66432121
>tfw it should only be 12 but the Jews moved time
What about Joe Rogan vs GSP for ufc 170?
>>66431995
>You'll never grow up with Uncle Chris and Uncle Stephen to train you
>>66432202
Rather see Goldie vs Kimbo.
>>66432108
But she really is. I daresay even more so than Ronda, but because she's foreign and not as popular, it doesn't seem as prominent and bad, easier to overlook.
>>66432050
How do you mean ?
She craves black D in an obvious way, she's kind of a bitch to Gadelha because they have a fight coming, but other than that I don't really see
>>66432342
Pretty sure you've brought this up before
>>66432185
It's shit now ;_;
Artem
IMA SUK DAT DICK JON
Stop trying to make Artem the new Schaub
It will not work
>>66432342
she seems pretty nice outside of fight shit and even then she's nice to most of her opponents. afaik she's only been a cunt to gadelha and penne. gadelha is a cunt herself and the penne shit wasnt a big deal just some low level back and forth like most fighters do. i can see people are already turning on her but they do that to anyone who is confident and claims to be the best.
>>66432458
>yurogays
Friendly reminder that Schaub could physically dominate anybody in this thread. He could literally hold you down and have his way with you if he wanted and their is nothing you could do to stop him.
>tfw from shitty hood in same area code as kimbo, dada, masvidal but never been in a street fight
>>66432526
I would unironically heem Schaub
Why did my post get deleted?
reminder that hockey, kickboxing, water polo, boxing, mma, pool, curling, and povertygrass are the only acceptable sports ever concieved of
>>66432672
Thank You Based Carr. Raiders Bless
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FgpdU_uPO34
>>66432780
who's the guy on the left? i keep seeing this t-rex meme
t. casual
>>66432824
artem lobov
>>66432526
i think ive got a chance. just yolo swing at him and if one hits hes sleepy
>>66432877
thanks
guess the meme is true
>>66432780
top kek
>>66432458
im going to kill you
Get in here
http://youtu.be/Hx3pv_MOd98
http://youtu.be/Hx3pv_MOd98
>tfw UFC will never add a gorilla division where gorillas brawl in the octagon
>>66432992
>no
>you now remember schaubposting
>>66433079
can't wait for their reactions when Nate wins again
>>66433013
i would love an animal division. just see which animal is GOAT at mma.
more realistic would be an over 50's division so all the old dudes who still wanna brawl can get in there and heem eachother
>>66433106
Pound for pound I imagine it would be gorillas
Over 50 division would be depressing.
diaz is a pussy
>>66433157
agree, winning by submission is like nipple twisting your little brother when you fight
>"It's the most dominant submission," he says almost wistfully. It isn't an arm or a knee bar or an ankle lock, each of which leaves its victim the opportunity to survive, however slight. And it isn't a punch that can be slipped or countered. The rear naked choke is almost a metaphor for the consequences of our most calamitous mistakes. "You can do nothing to me, but I can do whatever the fuck I want to you," McGregor says. "I have complete control."
>He's not sure he's making himself plain enough. He wants you to understand the feeling of true hopelessness, the sensation of every last door closing to you. He wants you to hate that feeling, which will make you appreciate more deeply the moments you are free. His longtime girlfriend, Dee Devlin, sitting beside him in the bar, does her best to explain his intentions. "He wants you to be better than you are," she says.
Someone should let those lads know these are their boys words
>>66433142
A Grizzly bear will decimate 4 or 5 male gorillas simultaneously.
>Tecia "Tiny Tornado" Torres is a lesbian
>>66433214
>
A lone man killed a Grizzly bear with his bare hands once.
>>66433210
Is dee getting interviewed about her sex life with conor?
>>66433254
source? once had a dream she asked me to eat her bunda out
>>66433295
>sticking your tongue in a literal intestine
>>66432780
Wait...what!?
No pony tail guy?
No more thouch butt in the park?
WTF is going on here?
>look into my eyed lil man...
"I see fear in your eyes"
>>66433295
on snapchat. every few weeks her "bae" or "gf" visits her. i'm pretty sure she's lesbian
>>66433285
I know you're memeing and it's a good joke so here's a (You) but just to clarify to others it's Conor talking about the rear naked choke being his favourite submission way around the time of the Mendes fight
LONDON
O
N
D
O
N
>>66431603
>>66432780
My sides
>>66433349
nah thats what the majority of girls are like
>>66431603
that's pretty good
>"Let’s be honest here — 99 percent of MMA fans haven’t got a clue what’s going on," Artem said. "They don’t understand the game enough to comment on any of that. They don’t know how easy it is to have an impressive record. I could have 10 guys in my gym tomorrow, beat them all up, and there’s 10 wins for my record. It is that easy. It is that easy to be 10-0. What I did is very, very hard. Not very many people do it — in fact, very, very few people do it.
>"I can honestly say that if you look at people’s outside of the UFC records, I have the most solid record in the UFC right now. That’s a fact. "They should bring up my record, and call it the fighter bible," he said. "The warrior bible. All those guys with padded records should read it everyday, and they should put my picture on their wall as the Jesus Christ of MMA."
>>66430820
>>66432458
keep up the good work lads
>>66433389
that's true, but I actually think she's a lesbian. it seems different form the typical girly shit
>>66431176
Maybe Dan used to post in /heem/ back when Cheick was around.
>tfw suckling on Jon's tender juicy drumstick dick
>>66430791
>Koko's favorite movie is Singing in the Rain
>However she doesn't watch the end, when they sing goodbyes
>she used sign language to tell her handler it made her feel too sad, and made her want to cry
them feels
>>66433079
>>66433112
>>66433138
I get that these people are just filthy casuals, but a lot of people that go to UFC shows boo when a fight leaves the feet,
Why don't the people that hate the ground game just watch kickboxing or muay thai?
>>66433793
They don't really boo when it goes to the ground, they boo when there's been excessive wrestlefuckery or they're just staying there for too long not actually doing shit, or doing very minimal
>We have a saying where I come from up in Canada
>>66433744
>made up bullshit
>>66433793
Vegas crowds are infamous for being filled with casuals. People there just view UFC events as another type of Vegas show, plus casinos sometimes comp tickets to random high rollers.
>>66432780
>mfw Tiny-Hands-Fat-Head on the left can barely grip his glass
>>66433859
if you're coming on...
>>66430791
>>66433744
Her "handler" is a mentally ill shithead who has trained the poor animal to "sign" the desired responses based on her body language.
>>66432780
jesus christ
nick, nate and andre ward could fight the whole SBG crew + everyone in a 10km radius
>>66431603
kek based neetrex
>>66433013
lhw lad
>>66433705
I wish they would let me over there right now and suck your fucking dick, Jon
JON JONES!
GET YOUR DICK TOGETHER BOY IM SUCKIN!
>>66434024
What did you say? I couldn't hear you, can you say it again?
>>66434061
kek'd
JON JONES!
IT DON'T MATTER WHERE YOU CUM BOY I'M SUCKIN!
>>66434077
i smaid id sffuff urr diffhfh
can we stop forcing this dc meme? its pretty fucking gay senpai
>>66434153
I'm sorry. I just can't hear you.
Can you repeat it?
>>66434172
gtfo, it's the best meme in the history of heem
>>66434198
hi newshit
JON JONES!
GET THAT DISH TOGETHER BOY I'M HUNGRY!
JON JONES!
GET THAT DICK TOGETHER BOY I'M WAITIN FOR YA!
>>66434172
>>66434198
>>66434229
its a terrible meme its not even funny
i enjoy the forced neetrex meme of armtem 'long hand' lobov
I'm a little jelly of Neetrex to be honest familia.
>good at banter
>TUF Runner Up (keep in mind he was going against a world class opponent, also prepared for a completely different opponent originally)
>probably got more pussy than I ever just by being on TUF
>Ballroom dancing champion
>incredible chin to pull off that hands down style
>gets free breakfast (2x),lunch and dinner because Conor pays for it
>proof that records don't mean shit as it shows he's a warrior who will fight anyone and everyone
>gets respect from other famous fighters because he's a warrior even though his record isn't the best
>gets free training from the real coach of SBG Ido Portal courtesy of Conor
>goes to cool places and gets to hang out with Dana and Lorenzo because of Conor
>gets to go to cool places in Hollywood and hang out at the best parties because of Conor
>gets paid a small allowance probably for being Conor's "friend"
>probably secretly fucking Dee or at least in love with and has fapped while smelling her Reebok sports thong
He's living the life senpai
Reminder that Diaz literally beat motivated Anderson Silva who was on PEDs and was robbed by the judges.
>>66434371
Silva won that fight
>>66434412
>get outlanded and not land anything significant yourself
>"""won""" the """fight"""
kek
KEK
>>66434433
Literally not what happened. Anderson landed more total and significant strikes that fight. You should rewatch it. I do give Diaz credit though because as mentioned before, Silva was probably on the juice and he made it a good fight
>>66434351
good post
>neetrex in love with dee
i can one hundred percent believe this
>>66434433
Silva both landed more shots and did more damage.
Regardless of whether or not you want to score effective striking by volume landed or damage done or a combination of both, Silva still won the fight.
Taunting your opponent doesn't score points in MMA kid. Do you even watch MMA?
>>66434433
The face never lies.
>>66434487
>Taunting your opponent doesn't score points in MMA
you've never watched a bobby green fight have you casual?
>>66434433
Is this the famous Australian shiposting I've heard so much about?
>>66434507
m-m-m-m-m-m-muh s-scar tissue
>>66434507
ouch
>>66434554
STRAYA CUNT
>>66434351
artem is living the life undoubtedly
i'm pretty jelly but the wheels can fall off real fast if connor notches up some more losses
soon the house and cars he is renting wont be around for artem use
he needs to become his own man and win some fights just campaign for guys his size instead of trying to fight anyone and everyone
but logic and reasoning surrounding connor and artem is not a real thing
neetrex
>>66434433
>kek
>KEK
is this a /cric/ raid? you do realise this isn't the bundes trhead m8
rustle johnson
Jones vs Chuck
just announced lads
who you got
>>66434783
Chuck
And easily.
daniel "dick cumfarmer" cormier
>>66434783
in a coke snorting competition?
chuck hands down
>>66434783
Jones has a glass chin
Prime Chuck would drop him if he caught him
daniel "drink cummies" cormier
>>66433583
You're an idiot. She had a boyfriend
anyone got an invite for mma-torrents?
>>66430963
Is it the slam itself or the clash of heads that heems? I've suspected it's the headbutt after seeing a few slam heems.
>>66434850
i cant wait until dc beats jones a la silva-weidman and we are blessed by heems and good memes
Who /excitedforWonderboyvsRory/ here
who /stackedkhabibcard/ here?
>>66434930
I really really wanted to fly down and go to that card but my wife can't get a week off work on such short notice.
total bummer dude
>>66430954
I DONT GIVE A FUCK
>>66434888
>Jones tries to eyepoke
>he overextends and exposes his chin for a big DC uppercut
>goes down like a pile of shit
If only
>>66434939
fuck that sucks senpai, take her son maybe she'll let you do that instead
>>66434968
>a man with literally a 7 foot reach needing to expose his chin to eyepoke Danny "Artem" Cormier
>>66433877
i want to ufc so just so i can say at to her at weighin "remember my name cuz you'll be screaming it later tonight"
>>66434991
I think you'd be surprised
>>66434970
good idea, I'll ask Hasan when he gets home, thanks for the advice
>>66435141
no need, I give you permission
>>66435190
thanks Hasan
we'll have fun
Everything just seems so dead lads
Where are all the memes. Do I need a 4chan Gold subscription to see them
>>66435335
>no UFC events until April 10
>>66435374
Watch Wrestlemania, maybe RiffRaff will come and then we can get based Angle and based Rey fighting again
>>66435418
is that tonight?
>>66435483
Nah next weekend I think
I'm not sure, definitely not tonight though
>>66434188
why does JJ have a belt there? he was stripped of it.
I wish Max Holloway stuck to his gorgeous boxing and stop resorting to flying knees and meme kicks. Hes terrible at throwing them and his body shots are amazing.
Anyone got some Holloway webms?
>>66435546
ffs Australia
He just brought his own belt
night /heem/
>next MMA event
>4/2
Bros I don't know if I can make it.I've been kicked out of every boxing,MMA,Jiu Jitsu, and Krav Maga gym I've ever been too. Channeling my anger,destroying guys in the cage,ring,mat wherever and whenever. I was a violent person, until I started watching MMA, I fought to get the aggression out. I didn't watch MMA but I trained MMA. Seeing men destroy each other prevent me from destroying others. I quenched my thirst for violence.But this dry spell. I don't know.I watch my opponents rise,fall and now I'm about to break. I'm going to go out for a walk tonight in a dangerous neighborhood, someone will not escape when they step to this. They will face they pain when they step to this. I will rip them into pieces.
>>66435682
r u me?
>>66435682
N 2 PEACES
Daniel "Cum Plum" Cormier
what are heem-tier nu metal songs?
1. Face the Pain
2. Bodies
3. Break Stuff
????
>>66435927
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMX2lPum_pg
>>66435945
not nu metal but still a good addition to my heem playlist.
>>66432076
Why wouldn't you get stoned every day of the year?
>>66435927
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B3J6CyeFUds
>>66436025
nice
>>66432780
oh god did you edit this picture?
>>66431603
>>66432780
Someone has to tweet these to Armtem
>>66435927
PAPA ROACH CUT MY LIFE INTO PIECES!
Vanilla Ice nu metal version Ice Ice Baby Chuck Used
Linkin Park (any song)
>>66431161
I always love seeing Pat Barry sustain more brain damage
>>66432076
>Its not called the passover for nothing
>>66436331
le weirdo face
drunk 61 year old black man here. if i could heem anyone in the whole world it would be guy fieri
>>66436331
I know that feel. And I feel fucked up for feeling it. He seems like a good guy. Seems to genuinely care for Thug Rose. Can be funny pretty funny,at least to me. And I wish him success. But at the same time I want to see him get knocked the fuck out. I mean eyes rolling back,saliva spitting,wobbling and falling all over the place.Heemed to the living death. Maybe it's because he cries all the time.
>>66436428
that would make a good fightpass prelim headliner
>>66436437
I think you're a complete fucking failure and that you're insecure as shit desu senpai
>>66436523
no u
>>66430954
I don't give a fook
>>66430976
These two are honestly hard as fuck
>>66436428
>61 year old black man
There must be a few of these on 4chan, I wonder if I've ever shitposted with one before
I'm curious as to how many elderly people in general there are here
>>66430954
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK
http://www.bloodyelbow.com/2016/3/27/11311096/ufc-fight-night-85-mma-news-interview-frank-mir-mark-hunt-referee-marc-goddard
>>66436428
>>66436589
old black guys are based desu
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yj_jWUVSZJA
>>66436589
my son got me hooked on the chans, we text each other funny pictures and it's 90 percent of our communication. i worked a lot when he was growing up but i feel like we've reconnected over pictures of an emotional frog
>>66436654
i'm going to make a video like this where i show people my collection of marvel comics from the 1980s. don't ever retire this is what you'll do with your free time
>>66434229
>>66434265
>confusing memes with reality
Uh, Daniel Cormier absolutely threatened to gobble Jon Jones cock and give him a blowie. This happened.
>>66436598
ABOUT MY BAD REPUTATION
>>66436799
He's actually been actively trying to suck his cock for a few years now dude, that was just the first time he said it into a microphone
>>66434548
lol
Why is /heem/ so addictive?
>>66436805
you're right. I heard Daniel Cormier wanted to cover a parody version of All About That Bass called All About That Cock, but had to be conned by Dana into doing All About That Cake. We were left with this...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M0CfNA12aFw
>>66436831
Let's not get carried away lads
>>66436829
because missing memes is like getting cancer; not altogether pleasing
So I ran out of Tullamore Dew, and I was talking to my buddy on xbox live about how I was going to make some nachos.
My wife heard me talking and called my cell phone from the bedroom, saying she had a bad dream and heard me talking and it scared her. We talked about it so she felt better, and I told her about how I ran out of rye, and she told me I could go ahead and crush her bottle of organic wine that she got yesterday. I just opened it and it's super delicious.
That's love, boys.
>>66436831
god i FUCKING LOVE dc he will destroy sociopath jon
dc is so cute :3
>>66436888
fag
>>66436894
hehe but look at him, he is adorable.
you want jon to win because you're a cuck, and want to see the alpha cuck your woman. americuck
>>66436894
Fuck you motherfucker. DC will destroy Jon "Coke N Poke" Jones. He's stuck in the mud now that he has too much muscle.
Sometimes I consider making a fight pass account for /heem/
>>66436965
hmmm you could ask for bitcoins from heemsters to raise the coin for fightpass
then stream it like italy bro the problem would be dcma's and some troll who tells dana about your account
so you would have to keep the account details private never showing your username etc...
>>66437018
well everyone on here would have to know the email addy and the password
it'd be sweet though. so many fights
>>66434879
it's the heads - ask rampage.
>>66436965
Fight Chan Meme Pass? It will get you access to
>the newest and dankest fight memes
>get shitposting notifications about Fraudor,Fedor,CM Punk and all the best fighters
>get the newest and upvoted /heem/ posts today directly to your email,text,or notification
>get a live feed of the newest MMA news ranging from Tim Kennedy's thoughts on Brussels's,Donald Trumps plans to make MMA Great Again (spoiler:it involves weapons in the cage),DADA 500's health, to when Mighty Mouse is on Twitch
>gain access to the /heem/ secret Rumblr to meet up local fight fans near you, whether you wanna just scrap,just bleed or enter someones guard....amorously it's up to you
>Access to the Meme Pass video library linking you to the hottest and new World Star,LiveHeem,and Luke Thomas shows and others
>Guess the minority game: the first online IRL heem game of /heem/ receive anonymous messages to your phone from someone, if you guess which shit hole they come from in three guesses you gain Karma which can redeemed for prizes like Fabers book,or Arianny Celeste's album
>
>>66434371
Anderson couldn't get his country game going against an opponent that didn't make footwork mistakes like most guys with Muay Thai backgrounds do
>>66437045
nah thats a real dumb idea anyone could link it to /b/ and thats all she wrote
your better off being like italy bro and just streaming requested fights for everyone to watch
keep it safe keep it secret
I think Rothwell is going to fucking mop JDS
>>66437085
I know its dumb, that's why I don't do it. Itt's even worse with some people vehemently trying to doxx me but whatever. But it'd be nice, you know?
>>66432672
<--- forgot the best sport
>>66436885
You Canucks and your liquor drink
>>66437094
i agree
i am building a large mma library and i think i'd like to stream for /heem/
it would be cool to be able to stream any of bellator, pride, wec, ufc, rizin and strikeforce
for me i watch mma by myself and i think how good it would be to watch this on stream with the /heem/ bros shitposting
its a dream
>>66437114
its good rye bud
>>66437119
like a dream...
>>66437045
It wouldn't work anyway. They've taken measures to prevent account sharing. Only one IP is allowed to log on to an account at a time.
>>66433106
how many times has this been done here and elsewhere?
answers are:
Grizzly is always land champion
Bald Eagle is always sky champion
Orca is always water champion
gorillas and lions are just meat scraps left on the ground after the grizzly leaves, m8.
>>66437142
are you sure about that bud?
because me and my old man log in at the same time all the time
>>66433262
laughable.
though I did hear of a sparrow that arm-barred a giraffe once.
>>66437153
A golden eagle would skullfuck a bald eagle. I think there are Eagles in Europe that are bigger than Goldens.
http://www.thekeep.org/~kunoichi/kunoichi/themestream/kek.html
>>66437157
I've been logged out when trying to view something on my phone and PC simultaneously.
>>66437157
yes, me and my brother share our account but we have to time when we log in and shit, bud
>>66437183
>>66437195
well son of a bitch
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW_CjArh4hc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g5BFfs1cuWw
>When someone says you suck so much you want to suck their dick
imagine this playing after someone gets heemed
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xn50JSI0W-E
EL CUCUY
>>66437488
So do people think that Khabib will return as the unstoppable force that he once was? Or have the injuries and time off diminished him? If he beats Tony will he beat RDA again? Is it possible for it to be even more dominant a 2nd time?
>>66437153
Are we just talking predators? Because a single grizzly bear would not be smart to try and fight a rhinoceros or an African Elephant.
>>66437532
Or a polar bear.
>>66437513
He's young so my guess is he'll be even stronger.
Besides he's my boy.
Who has Fedor really beaten apart from Prime Cro Cop and Big Nog? Yes I know that he gets all the credit for fighting guys twice his size, but it doesn't matter how big the can is if it's ultimately just a can.
I used to buy into the Fedor hype when I was 16 and didn't know jack shit. Right now I'm scratching my head wondering, why does this guy get so much credit?
>>66437656
A big part of it was the tone of the fights themselves. He always seemed to get up shit creek without a paddle before gutting it out and coming back to win it.
>>66437656
Mark hunt and andrei arvloski
>>66437679
is it me or Barnet's grappling a tad overrated?
>>66437691
He tapped Dean Lister and won IBJJF. Not sure how you can call somebody with that resume overrated.
>>66437703
>>66437705
he's never done anything impressive in UFC, he got tapped out in his last fight, he barely could handle Roy Nelson in grappling and he struggles with everyone else in the HW division
>>66437703
>>66437710
Someone needs to do that in the UFC.
>>66437641
>muslim boy
wew