/mischief/
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
who /mischief/ here
>mom asks me to take out the trash
>do it
>still greentext it in a mischief thread
>>29384272
you rascal
>>29384272
>see big bag of salt & vinegar peanuts in shopping aisle
>thosewontfitinmypocket.jpg
>see handy, pocket-sized packets of the same variety.
and the rest? well, that's just history..
>mom asks me to take out the trash at night
>she leaves to go to the gym in the morning every day
>wait for her to leave
>take trash out and immediately put the bins back inside the garage when the truck picks it up
>she doesn't know I did this and asks why I couldn't take the trash out
>tell her I didn't feel like doing it
dumb bitch
>>29384272
>playing the "Sorry!" board game
>get a "Sorry!" card
>scream "Sorry!" at the top of my lungs
>Make my faggot dad move back to start
>I wasn't actually sorry
>ran out of meme points for the day
>continue to post dank memes on /r9k/ anyway
HAHAHA FUCK YOU MOM I WONT DO WHAT YOU TELL ME
>see a /mischief thread
>have nothing
>post anyway
>>29384685
>be me
>be 19
>be virgin
>be NEET
>be skinnyfat
>want to
>stop story suddenly
>waste 2.05 seconds of Mr. 29384685's time
get kek'd motherfucker
>order a pizza for delivery
>make it really complicated with a bunch of toppings and obtuse directions
>when the pizza guy shows up I hide under my couch and don't open the door
>after he leaves I call back asking why I haven't gotten my pizza
>demand they make me a new one and bring it to me immediately since the other one is too cold by now
>when the pizza guy shows up a second time I give him exact change in only coins
>no tip included
>throw pizza away because its nothing but empty calories for fat degenerates
>wait another few weeks and call the next pizza joint
>rinse and repeat
YOU FUCKERS DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT DEVILISH MEANS
>in gym
>doing my bench press
>brunette qt asks me to spot her
>say get lost slut
>>29384272
>mom tells me to go to the toilet before bed
>piss and shit in my pants instead
>>29385070
>mom tells me to go to the toilet before bed
>go to the bathroom on the toilet without taking my pants off
>make dozens of reddit accounts just so i can submit the link that steve buschemi was a firefighter on 9/11 on r/til
Those comments kill me every time
>>29384996
naughty naughty anon
>piss with toilet seat down
>don't clean up
>Playing heroes of newearth with friends
>say I'm going mid
>Pick a mid hero
>Jungle anyways
>Wizardchan mod.
>non virgin
If those fags only knew.
>>29385106
Do you actually do this?
I'd do it too (something similar at least) but I've heard that shitposting gets ALL your accounts banned and gets you IP banned
>mum tells me to make dinner
>I make a delicious dinner but I don't serve it
>stupid bitch has to serve me like a slave
>>29384996
I have something very similar I did
>order pizza to friends house while in high school
>use vpn and fake number so they don't know it's me
>order like 10 pizzas to friends house with nothing on them but anchovies, not even sauce or cheese, plus orders to overcook them
>piss off his mom so she thinks it was him
>once they ip ban me i use a phone
>keep doing this until they blacklist their house
>move onto the next pizza joint
>they can never order pizza again
>asked to deliver some mail
>go into office
>no one home
>see a fountain pen unguarded
>grab that shit like fucking stealy
>dont even deliver the mail
>>29385159
we have always assumed. its why we hate you so vividly
> guy comes to door with a bible asking if I believe in god
> say no and listen to him speak
> have actually already accepted jesus christ as my lord and savior
>23 year old virgin
>pretend my life is okay and don't complaing about it ever
>have sexual intercourse
>brag about it on R9K
>do a big poo in back yard
>call dog out and get him to eat it
>dog also licks my arse clean
>dog then goes and licks Mummy on the face
>play GTA online
>spend over an hour trying again and again to complete mission with 3 other teammates
>be just bad enough to necessitate a restart of the mission nearly every time but not bad enough for the other players to give up and kick me (also am a super high-rank so they don't doubt me)
>close to 2 hours in
>finally make it to the end
>just need to drive to the checkpoint and it's complete
>inches from the final checkpoint and completion
>throw a sticky bomb in front of checkpoint
>detonate
>car explodes killing everyone, mission failed, have to restart all over again
>enable mic, get up close and banshee scream "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE" to blast everyone's eardrums and scare the shit out of them
>log out
>mfw
>At work
>Customer trying to talk to me while I'm ringing up her shit.
>I'm ringing up her bouquet of flowers for her son's graduation or some shit and a stem falls off of the bouquet
>"Awwww, here you go anon give it to your girlfriend!"
>Deviousness.jpg
>"Sure! I bet she'll love it haha."
>Little does she know I don't have a girlfriend
>she was none the wiser
>go home and try to hang myself breaking my dad's fan in the process
huehuehuehue
>be social
>have friends
>25
>parents ask me when I'm getting married so they can have grandkids
>I tell them when I'm 28;^)
>I have zero interest in getting married
>I have zero interest in relationships or sex
>they will never have grandkids
>>29385210
>friends
GET OUT REEEE
>be me 16
>convince friend to do LSD
>gives me money
>buy LSD
>meet friend in town
>give him cod liver oil table
>on bus home friend starts "tripping"
>pee pee and poo poo himself
>take all the LSD in the confusion
>he goes home
>didn't stop laughing for the entirety of my trip
>>29385658
i had a gued laff
>suck friends dick
>he cums in my mouth
>I don't enjoy any of it
lol that means he's a fucking faggot
>sitting at bus stop
>bus coming down the street
>I stand up to indicate to the bus driver that I want to board the bus
>sit down when he stops infront of me and open the bus door
>I yell at the bus driver that I mean to get on the next bus that comes
>Drives off
>That was actually the bus I needed to get on
>Someone says "have a nice day"
>I haven't for years
>write a 10 page NEET-tendie story about how I eventually caused my mother's psychotic break
>people believe me
>I'm actually a young proffesional gainfully employed and a contributing member of society that loves his family
>>29386879
send pls & ty
[email protected]
>>29386939
Post the story pham
>"Have a nice day sir"
>"Thanks you too"
>I actually identify as a female bigender transgender latinx zucchini otherkin
He was none the wiser
>figure out how to beat the robot
>don't tell any of you losers how
>figure out how to beat the robot
>don't telI any of you losers how
>girlfriend has surgery
>she had a miscarriage
>break up with her because the baby was black
>figure out how to beat the robot
>don't telI any of you Iosers how
>>29387251
>>29387236
It's the way you are typing the "ll" in tell. Good job.
>>29387354
pretty obvious, been doing it to get usernames since like 06
>>29387251
>>29387219
>>29387236
>see mischief thread
>don't post in it immediately
>wait until it's on the last page
>post in it
>don't post an actual mischief story
>>29384436
Lmao what is wrong with you anon
>>29385658
KEK o im laffingggggg
>>29386431
Hahahahaha WHY
>>29385106
What are the comments like?
