FUCK
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You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
You are currently reading a thread in /r9k/ - ROBOT9001
>oneitis is literally mentally retarded, pyschotic, schizophrenic and also my neighbour
>this morning he was making loud machine gun noises to himself
>talking to himself really loud again
>more autistiv goofy voices
>He's currently sitting in his garden staring at the grass
>He finds grass more interesting than you
SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST END MY FUCKING MISERY I DON'T WANT TO BE ATTRACTED TO THIS FUCKING RETARD ANY MORE. HE'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING BUT I'M SO OBSESSED WITH HIM
JUST
FUCKING
TAKE
ME
AWAY
FROM
THIS
>>27693609
put some grass in your hair and roll around in front of him
you need to get on his level, anon. otherwise you're just more background noise.
>>27693609
are you a man?
bllloololoolllllxxx lolllx
Wait, are you...?
>>27693315
Lol, Just do online dating or something. Obviously anything to get him out of your head.
>>27693609
I love creepy susie
must feel pretty awful for all these robots that a literal psychotic retard can attract at least one woman
>>27693609
Hey guys I'm a grill btw ;)
So what's stopping you from just sitting next to him on the grass and saying, "Whatcha doin'?"
>>27693652
Yeah a really ugly one I bet for being attracted to a retard who isn't even attracted to you in return.
>>27693609
Bake him some cookies and leave them on his doorstep with a cute note that says hey boy I'm interested ;)
>>27693609
JUST GO UP AND SHOW HIM YOUR PUSSY
YOU KNOW YOU WANT A HOWLING, GRUNTING, RETARD DICKING
>>27693609
but what if he secretly really really likes you
>>27693609
Its not too late fembot
Go to him and make out with him, Don't even talk to him , Just do it, mark your territory
>>27693651
He probably looks like a Chad.
>>27693609
He deserves you right for caring only about looks.
>>27693711
This is what I suspect. Apparently he used to drop by her room and ask for a cigarette from time to time. I think both of them are just too nervous to make a move.
>>27693712
I bet this would work, OP. Guys are simple.
>>27693609
Post pics of you and him
>>27693775
>I gave him a box of chocolates and a note that said happy easter with a heart in it.
That's really sweet. How did he respond?inb4 MUMBO JUMBO MUMBO JUMBO
>>27693632
No
>>27693619
good idea
>>27693641
Yeah that's me
>>27693643
I fall fast and hard, online dating scares me.
>>27693651
I don't want to live this way anon.... There isn't a single thing I find attractive about him but I can't stop obsessing over this fuckwit
>>27693670
Every time I approach him I go into a nervous fit and can't even begin to formulate sentences around him....
>>27693702
I gave him a box of chocolates and a note that said happy easter with a heart in it.
>>27693708
I WOULD IF I COULD BUT I'M TOO FUCKING SCARED BUT I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE
>>27693711
That's what my flatmate keeps telling me but then why do our conversations always come to a grinding hault after 2 sentences... Why does he want to spend more time with grass than with me??? he probably has an imaginary gf or something.
>>27693712
You really overestimate my confidence anon... The INSTANT I appraoch this guy my heart starts beating at a million beats a second and I can hardly breath and my lips get so dry and my mind becomes such a fucking blur. I L I T E R A L L Y can't
I wish I could mark my territory with hickeys but he's too busy talking to the grass
>>27693719
No he actually looks pretty ugly imo. Jew curls and everything. He has a neckbeard and doesn't shower as well.
>>27693732
I did in the last thread
>>27693813
he looked really surprised, smiled and held his head down. Like he sort of bowed? like HIDING
>>27693775
uncompleted post. I'll delete it and make a new one
>>27693609
what are you in the looney bin for tomoko
Listen here, you dumb slag. Did you write him the letter like we said? JUST DO IT. It's not that hard. I would kill to have my onetits be a fucking retard with no idea what's going on. You have it on easy mode, although you cannot see that. I'm not angry with you, anonette, just disappointed.
>>27693863
I didn't see the pictures. Please post again.
>>27693900
I second this, looks like you're hiding their non-existence with a dead thread
>>27693863
If what you say about the chocolates is true, this guy sounds ACTUALLY retarded. Why are you such a dummy, femanon?
>>27693863
>he looked really surprised, smiled and held his head down.
Aww, he's shy.
I think you are greatly overestimating his interest in grass and underestimating his interest in you. Just go sit with this guy, let a conversation start naturally. Think of all the good you two could do for one another. You could be the one who turns his whole life around.
>>27693863
post more creepshots
>>27693872
bipolar 1 and psychotic depression
>>27693873
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND ANON I DON'T WANT TO LOVE THIS GUY HE'S SO FUCKING ANNOYING AND HE'S STUPID AND HE WONT SHUT UP AND HE STILL HASN'T STOPPED WITH HIS MACHINE GUN NOISES BUT I'M SO OBSESSED WITH HIM AND I CAN'T STOP THINKING ABOUT HIM I FUCKING HATE THIS
>>27693900
>>27693941
The creepshots I took myself are a bit blurry so here's a photo I found of him on his normiebook that's a bit clearer. Tiny resolution though...
>>27693953
I don't know anon ;___; I just want it all to end...
Basically OP, nothing's going to change until you approach this guy. Consider that if it doesn't go well, it will at least put your mind at ease and you won't have to think about him any more. But if it DOES go well, you could be gettin' yo'self some sweet monkey lovin' tonight.
I have a schizophrenic friend. Last time I heard about him he called the cops on himself and told them the invisibles took his 2 daughters and murdered them. he has no kids. I think he's in the hospital now. Really sucks how he's slowly turning worse
>>27694008
THEN DON'T LOVE HIM LOVE ME INSTEAD YOU DIFFICULT WOMAN. I can not shave or shower or whatever the hell that makes him irresistible to you while not being a fucking retard. I won't make any machine gun noises. I won't talk about Goofy.
BE MY GIRL, ANONETTE.
>>27693954
>let a conversation start naturally
This is where I fuck up every time. It's not as easy as you think.... and I don't want to be like this man I just want to forget about him....
>>27694007
I made a webm of him walking passed my window but I don't know how to remove the audio so I don't know how to upload it. Any tips?
>>27694031
How do I approach him without losing my spaghetti everywhere though and wanting to kill myself immediately after?
>>27694059
This is what my goofy is like...
>>27694008
gift him a toy machine gun for his birthday. or name day. or just a day you make up. maybe buy him a goofy hat. that should get though him and wont make you look like a slut.
Masturbating might help you take your mind off him.
>>27694083
evne better: dress up like a lawn and dance for him
>>27694078
silly Anon, she likes him because of his imperfections.
>>27694008
Listen here little baby. You're gonna get a lot of hurtful and degrading comments, but that ain't what I'm about. Let me just say, you are perfect the way you are. You hear me sugar? PERFECT. Don't ever change. You deserve anything and everything you want. Stay safe for me, baby girl.
How about this, you ditch that beta kek boypussy and date a real man like me?
>>27694008
>psychotic depression
damn bb dats one heavy diagnosis, pray you save him for he take his own life
>>27694031
This, you have nothing to worry about. I can't imagine him turning you down since you remind me of the psych ward girl from Goodburger and sound cute (no whiteknightero), but even if he does, your brain should stop thirsting so hard. Guys are pretty simple, just try to throw him more obvious hints if you're too scared to flat out approach him, and loosen him up a little.
>>27694130
my god do you try Anon
>>27694079
>I made a webm of him walking passed my window but I don't know how to remove the audio so I don't know how to upload it. Any tips?
unless it is too large, upload it to /gif/ or some googled webm hosting site and link it here.
>>27694130
Sorry OP, but it's too much fun to shitpost. So:
FUCK YOU FAGGOT SHE'S MY FUCKING AUTISTIC FLOWER BACK THE FUCK OFF AND TAKE A FLYING FUCK TO THE MOON YOU FEDORA WEARING FAGGOT SHE'S MINE JUMBO GUMBO MUMBO KILL YOURSELF.
She's mine, friend. Give it up and cut off your dick.
>it's an OP responds to 50 people at once episode
holy shit why do i remember this OP
why is this even a thing
fuck women
>>27694196
I bet she's really ugly dude.
>>27694245
It's never been about looks, dude. It's been above wildly autistic love.
>>27694245
maybe, but they are in a mental institution. its not like they have a chance to get a partner outside of it. have a little mercy anon
>>27694079
>How do I approach him without losing my spaghetti everywhere though and wanting to kill myself immediately after?
If you really can't bear the thought of making conversation with him, just go over and sit next to him and say "hey". Odds are he will take the conversation from there. If not, just try to make a few witty comments about the grass, or the institution, or what you did today, or literally whatever pops into your head.
Even if it doesn't go well and it's awkward and you come back empty-handed, remember that /r9k/ loves you and there will always be thirsty betas here to blow hot air up your ass.
Take a chance. Go over there now. Before you know it, the two of you will be sharing Jell-O in the cafeteria with your rubber safety spoons.
>>27694078
I'm genuinely considering talking to you just to keep my mind off of him. Contact info?
>>27694083
>>27694115
kek this made my day... But that won't work he's too autistic for that...
>>27694118
No I don't I HATE him for his imperfections but I love him so fucking much...
>>27694090
I only ever masturbate to him anon...
>>27694130
Nicu /fit/ meme m8. But your memes aren't enough to conquer my retarded love for this faggot
>>27694133
I want to take my own life at this point
>>27694140
I gave him a box of heart chocolates. Nothing could be more of a hint anon...
>>27694168
http://webmshare.com/play/oKAvo
It's a bit slow to load but it should work
>>27694196
cute hippo anon
>>27694208
Well it's better than a op ignores everyone at once episode right?
>>27694245
If being an ugly dude can save me from this hell then please....
>>27694298
I took a chance like this yesterday. I came home and vomited into my toilet out of nervousness and embarrassment. I wish I could date me toilet. b-but the part about r9k loving me made me happy.... Not the thirsty beta part pls no
>>27694385
No it isn't any better now piss off.
>>27694385
Does he have a big dick, a noticable bulge?
>>27694385
How big is his dick? Do you like big dicks?
i think i hate the beta fucktards so much more than actual stacy whores
its these fucks who bloat the ego of women
get cancer and perish bitchboys, you are making life harder for yourself and every male around you
>>27694385
Very nice creeper video. Distance from the window . Waiting for him to pass by. Not actually focused on him. Didn't you say you recorded the weird sounds he makes? Post those
>>27694385
Are you fis penis size?
>>27694385
When you masturbate to him, do you imagine he has a very big dick?
>>27694385
Is his cock of a nice size?
>>27694425
>>27694459
Not that I know of and no I'm too small for big dicks so It'd be better if he was just average
>>27694463
I just want help with my oneitis man....
>>27694467
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0zJrcBZL8E8
I JUST WANT HIM TO SHUT THE FUCK UP HOLY FUCKING SHIT HE MAKES ME MAD
>>27694478
huh?
>>27694492
No why is dick size coming up so often what the fuck?
>>27693863
I understand. I'm in love with a crazy girl. Recently she tried to convince me to kill myself then got super offended when I asked "is this all a game to you?" She said I can't contact her for a week or its over.
>>27694385
What is his penis like?
>>27694385
[email protected]
I will be refreshing the page every five minutes until you respond. pls respond
>>27694507
Do you know what he is saying in that? Do you still wait outside his window?
>>27694517
Dude, that's enough. Take your cock obsession somewhere else.
>>27694516
You realize she's cheating on you everyday, right?
Oh man this is hilarious, adorable, and depressing. Misfit love.
Or maybe it's attention whoring. But I constantly throw myself into fantasy, why stop here?
>>27694507
>not that i know of
Hey, stupid fuck, next time you see him, glance at his bulge. Report back.
>>27694385
I'm almost half as autistic as that.
I obsess over an anime character and have in-depth conversations with her out loud when no one's around.
Sometimes i slap my ass a couple hundred times out of sheer boredom
Will you be my autistic waifu?
>>27694516
we have two different types of crazy anon....
>>27694517
can you stop samefagging?
>>27694527
I'll consider sending you a message if I'm feeling really depressed about goofy...
>>27694565
Im seriously just looking for some honest advice how to talk to this cunt of a man. I know it comes off as attention whoring but I just need some help.....
>>27694592
He wears baggy pants man I can't see shit I've tried
>>27694599
I just want goofy but I want him dead at the same time I don't want this orbiter shit man.....
>>27694607
>black
ew
>>27694527
>Manually refreshing
Do you not have 4chanX? Or even use the native extension? How new are you?
>>27694639
You're not in a position to call anyone an orbiter, orbiter.
>>27694639
Just remember to keep us updated. Attention whoring is implicit. What's worse is when we are left with an incomplete story.
>>27694639
>Im seriously just looking for some honest advice how to talk to this cunt of a man.
I don't think you're going to get much advice beyond what's already been posted here. There is no secret to it. Either you go talk to him, or you wait until he comes and talks to you (which may never happen, even if he's really into you). You can try flirting harder but unless it's really explicit he's not likely to be catching any hints.
Even just succeeding in a bit of smalltalk tonight might give him the confidence to strike up a proper conversation with you later.
If it doesn't go well, at least it's off your mind.
I think that's about the best advice we can give. Best of luck, Anonette, and come back to let us know how it went.
>>27694639
>ew black
So you're a racist!?!?
What if it were a nice thick long white cock?
>>27694660
fair point m8
Contact info?
>>27694697
Ill try my best anon...
>>27694702
I'm going to screenshot this and put it up on my wall for motivation. You're my only hope now anon-kun
>>27694713
I just don't like black dick
>>27694639
Honestly speaking you should try and distance yourself from him or maybe try and get a little drunk/high/whatever before you talk to him so you're more relaxed.
Or you could try and get attached to someone else instead, I'm sure one of these anons would be happy to oblige
>>27694732
If i told you i had a massive dick, would you wanna suck it? Will you masturbate to my big hard white dick tonight, baby?
>>27694639
>he wears baggy pants
Maybe that's because he's tryna hide his big fat dick
There's this one thing that really motivates me but depresses me at the same time.
After a couple of years, none of this shit will matter cuz you'll be under the dirt. So fucking do it you fucking pussy or live the rest of your life with a "what if i did it" question that won't have an answer.
>>27694765
Fuck off
Fap to me instead OP
>>27694744
Kind of hard to do when you live right next to him and he yells super loud every single day
> get a little drunk/high/whatever before you talk to him so you're more relaxed.
tried. Didn't work. It was just as bad if not worse
>>27694765
no
>>27694779
doubt it
>>27694786
I don't want him anymore though but I just can't stop thinking about him...
>>27694789
no
>>27694792
Than find a new fuckboy to obsess over that's not fucked in the brain
>>27694792
Protip, OP: If you ignore the thirsty betas and the penis fetishizers, they eventually go away.
>>27694792
>can't stop thinking about him
Just masturbate, that's what i do, then the thoughts go away for awhile.
>>27694792
Why not get his number or Facebook message him I feel it's easier to get talking first over the internet than in person
>>27694792
>>27694807
If you're that fucked to like a guy that talks to fucking grass or whatever, than meet someone else somehow. Eventually you'll forget about goofy and live happily with someone else
>>27694792
Would you describe for me your favorite penis?
>>27694820
I'm not sure this works for women as they have no refractory period.
>>27694807
I'm trying man but it's never gone well in the passed
>>27694809
Good point anon... Thank you
>>27694820
I've tried man and it doesn't work
>>27694826
I found out his facebook but he hasn't used it since 2013 and I don't even think he has a phone
>>27694831
It's really not that simple anon.... but I'm trying regardless
>>27694792
Alright why do you obsess over him? Why don't you like Chad? Is he a retarded Chad? Not even a single guess as to why you want to fuck his face, or have him fuck your face? Does anyone else know? You do realize a retard isn't going to pick up on signals. Just take your pants off and assume a presenting lose. Then let nature take over
>>27694831
Yeah find someone else
Someone like me
>>27694851
Would you be more or less into him if he had a 10+inch dick?
>>27694872
Dude, nobody will date a robot.
>>27694851
soaking wet when i plunge my big hard dick into your sweet honey
>>27694786
ayy you right anon
>>27694851
[email protected]
have literally nothing to lose, might as well right?
>>27694851
My dick is so hard for you right now baby
>>27694907
jesus christ, just end your miserable life
>>27694852
>Alright why do you obsess over him?
I DON'T KNOWWWWWW ;___________; I HATE HIM SO FUCKING MUCH
> Why don't you like Chad?
Because I want someone to love me and not pump and dump me like some toy?
>Is he a retarded Chad?
FUCK no
> Not even a single guess as to why you want to fuck his face, or have him fuck your face?
nope. not a one
>Does anyone else know?
Only this old guy that is his roommate and some guy that comes and visits him every now and again to check on him and we share a social worker. she's where I get a lot of my information from
>You do realize a retard isn't going to pick up on signals.
I know.....
>Just take your pants off and assume a presenting lose. Then let nature take over
I would if I could but I can't even approach him without wanting to kill myself from nervousness
>>27694891
I'll send you I hi I guess...
>>27694890
>>27694907
itt Thirsty Ass Niggas tbqh senpai
>>27694928
Can we have tits please? Or rather, TITS OR GTFO
You're all fucking morons.
If you're too nervous to approach him without making a spaghetti and pussy juice mess out of yourself, just go middle school and ask his roommate to talk to him for you.
>>27694978
you need to be 18 to post here anon, please leave
>>27694978
i don't think you fully understand the subtleties of this situation, anon
If you decide to have sex with him, please film it
I really wanna see porn with a machine gun goofy and a fembot
>>27695002
>>27695009
I'm 24. And honestly, they're in a mental institution. The guy is L I T E R A L L Y retarded. She's got NOTHING to lose. You all gave sound advice but it obviously is not good enough if she drowns in spaghetti at the mere thought of talking to him. So if she can't talk and he won't then that's the last option. What;s the worst that can happen?
All it will take will be his room mate to tell him "You know, I think Anonnette fancies you. Why don't you go make two cups of tea and have it together outside?"
It's honestly not even that cringe.
>All the thirsty /b/-tard newfriends here
It's legit cringeworthy to watch you autistic fucks. Seriously, lurk more.
What is it with fembots and mentally ill men? You literally have to become a psychopath or completely insane in a "quirky" way to get a foot in the door.
>>27695099
>fembots
cool meme
>>27695026
This. Make bank op
>>27694008
Anon, you don't chose who you love. Embrace it faggot.
Pictures of OP?
pls be my girlfriend
pls be my super original bloxx girlfriend
>ablewblewblew why doesnt chad with glasses like me
Walk into traffic.
OP here. heres a pic of him
>>27694385
>Contact info?
so you don't love him at all you fucking slut, you're just using him for attention
get the fuck off my board roastie
