What is the coolest mental illness to have, /r9k/?
>>26269823
depression
everyone and their fucking mums are depressed
nowadays
>hi im 14 and feel sad sometimes quite a lot so i am depressed my cousin told me but im not going to do drugs for it because i am strong
Damn mental illnesses are so cool it means I get to be deep without actually having to develop a personality so cool
Schizophrenia
At least that's what the voices in my head tell me
>>26269823
Borderline Personality Disorder. People are still afraid of Schizos. Bipolar if you're a filthy casual
>>26269887
>sometimes quite a lot
You fucking spaz.
>>26270128
I hope you are joking schizophrenia is no meme. My life is so fucked because of the berating voices and the shadwo people. The constant paranoia I can't be around people. This is not some Suicide Squad Harley Quinn meme.
>>26269823
Schizoprenic by far
>>26270141
borderline is a fucking nightmare, stay far away from those people, and if you have it yourself, kill yourself
antisocial personality disorder obviously
Aspergers and ADHD
>>26270381
I always thought schizophrenia was so cool. I read a book on schizophrenia and its relation to "magic" and shamanism. I did a lot of LSD and DXM and now I feel like I have a better understanding of it.
>>26270514
but also it seems horrifying. I can't how torturous it must be to be that way permanently
>>26269823
>coolest mental illness
tumblrfag detected
ADHD is pretty dope, but all the cool kids nowadays are depressed.
>>26269823
OCD
>dudeee look at that brick slightly to the left omg i cant handle it xXDD
>guess i have OCD!
>>26269823
Most mental illness are made up problems because we don't have to fight sabretooth tigers anymore
Nymphomania
But ONLY if you're female.
Supremacy if you're a male.
>>26271450
i guess i wont be depressed once we start removing kebab then
>>26270209
Hi, fellow schizo. I'm wondering what others hear. For me it's usually complete nonsense, just random words mashed together. Sometimes they are calling my name or repeating a single word. Sometimes multiple voices sound like if they were arguing, using the previously mentioned nonsense sentences. Sounds almost like politicians. Also, in my case, it always sounds like if it was a real person talking, except that person is standing in the exactly same place I am, never from the side or 'inside' my head. What about you?
I love how people think that depression is just "le omg I'm so saddd". My mom has major depressive disorder, and she basically just lays in bed all day and stares at the ceiling without doing anything or sleeping. She is also on a cycle of 4 days depressed and 4 days perfectly fine. Real depression looks like it sucks ass
>>26270514
>I did a lot of LSD and DXM and now I feel like I have a better understanding of it.
sounds like you're a colossal faggot desu
Borderline Personality Disorder
(If you like sabatoging everything good in your life)
Transsexuality
OG post yo
>>26271629
>being borderline
you people are literally worthless.
Some flavors of schizophrenia
It's the only one that's exciting in any way, shape or form
Bipolar mania is a runner up though
>>26271571
I feel both of you. Please don't make meme of us. All I want is to be ' normal'
>>26271571
I hear dank memes in my head senpai
>>26271643
Even my therapist gave up on me. Therapy is worthless for my kind though. She was a stupid whore anyways, I trashed her on health grades and other review sites by using multiple email addresses
>>26271663
Then what are you doing here? Also too bad, we already are one. Probably the most tumblr acclaimed issue after bipolar and depression.
>>26271701
I hate all of you. Borderline is not a mental health problem. It's a personality trait that boils down to being simply a massive cunt.
>>26271594
Depression doesn't mean catatonic either. It's basically feeling worthless, empty and sad when there's no reason to. If it negatively affects your life enough to notice then it's depression in my eyes.
Like most mental illnesses there's varying degrees of fucked up, although we can all agree someone who breaks up with their gf/bf and feels sad for a few weeks is far from depressed.
>>26271571
>>26270209
how old are you? when did you start noticing that there's something wrong with you?
did you have any acute exacerbations? how does your illness affect your everyday life?
AIDS as opposed to cancer like you and yo boyz
>>26271747
this, in ye olden days it used to be called "being a fucking massive cunt"
>>26271799
She wasn't catatonic. She just has so little energy that she can't stand or even look at her phone.
>>26271892
Semantics really, I was just saying that you don't need to have literally no energy to have depression. Some people with depression - can't - have that.
>>26271571
>>26270209
did you always have it, did it develop over time, or do you not remember? it sounds really shitty having it and i'm a bit worried because i've heard voices a couple of times
I know a girl that believes she can talk to extraterrestrials, is a loner, has some odd tattoos, claims to be synesthetic and is a good artist
Whats more likely, schizotypal personality disorder or schizophrenia?
>>26269823
Schizoid
Much sexier and easier to deal with than the big Schiz
>>26272257
That's definitely schizotypal.
If it's a girl though, she's obviously full of shit.
>>26269823
Depression, OCD, and anxiety apparently
>>26272280
>Many fundamentally schizoid individuals display an engaging, interactive personality that contradicts the observable characteristic emphasized by the DSM-IV and ICD-10 definitions of the schizoid personality.[6] Klein classifies these individuals as "secret schizoids",[6] who present themselves as socially available, interested, engaged and involved in interacting yet remain emotionally withdrawn and sequestered within the safety of the internal world.
Best way to exist in Normie world
>tfw when you are smiling and talking on autopilot
>and the rest of your brain is in a world that words cannot clearly describe
>>26272026
chill dude and see a doctor
>>26272257
What's the difference between those?
>>26271571
It's mostly this for me, jumbled words in languages I don't understand. Usually at night.
Schizoid is the most robot disorder. I wouldn't call it 'cool' though.
>>26272447
One is more functional overall and less likely to conduct mass shootings in schools
>>26270632
Classic middle school
>>26272447
Scitzotypal is a bizzare weirdo who's very paranoid, aloof and solitary. They often have strange beliefs and theories such as that they can control time or that the hills have eyes.
Schizophrenia is when they are actually insane, as in legitimately hearing voices and seeing things that aren't there.
>>26272994
Isn't schizotypal sometimes considered to be a precursor of schizophrenia?
>>26269887
>but im not going to do drugs for it because i am strong
:^)
>>26273030
Yep, I was going to mention so but I wasn't sure.
But if you think the same I guess it's true.
gayness and atheism are the coolest mental illnesses
Bi polars pretty tits mainly because of those uppers.
Used to get drunk as fuark on them, felt like I had done E.
Would last upwards of a week, have days on end of no sleep, full of energy, actually talk to people. Just fucking amazing.
Schizotypal/schizoaffective here
>>26273187
Pls tell your strange beliefs pham
>>26273215
Lots of /x/ occult things and a bit of paranoia about organized crime and terrorism
>>26273283
Do these beliefs express themselves in some way IRL in form of certain rituals or other odd behaviors?
>>26273373
Not sure
Sometimes I try to jack off at night while thinking about a specific gril I like IRL and hope that will somehow connect me to her via collective unconscious and shell have a sex dream about me or something
>>26273179
>have bipolar disorder
>be put on a mood stabilizer to control mania and the worst of the depressive episodes
>get stimulants to help with the depression as well
>because I'm on a fucking mood stabilizer and have a chemical imbalance, the stimulants do not get me high, they just make me feel as close to normal as possible
>asshats like you abusing the system make it difficult for people like me to get the fucking medication I need to feel like a human being
FUCK OFF
>>26273457
I'm not abusing the system, just not medicated yet.
Just kind of riding the wave bruh.
The downers are really fucking shitty, almost felt like throwing up when I had to get out of bed, but doze uppers man.
[spoilers]It's 5 am, I've fucked tonight, masturbated twice, and still feel like jumping off walls and sheit[/spoilers]
>>26273455
This ducking post...
>>26273564
That's more understandable, then.
My mania is extremely shitty, I get way too much energy. It isn't the pleasant and rewarding high that most people get, it's homicidal psychosis where I don't sleep for a week straight, don't eat, don't bathe, can't interact with anyone normally, just go on a spending spree and then a violent rampage that ruins my life and forces me to relocate and try to start my life over again. It's hell. If I just got enough energy to fap a few more times during the day I wouldn't have ever bothered going to a shrink in the first place, that sounds great.
Alzheimer's is the best because you meet new people everyday :^)
>>26273651
Well I am mentally ill for a reason anon
>>26273455
bad news anon, we're on the same frequency
>>26273764
Well it's more than that.
Doesn't sound anything as bad as yours, honestly fuck that.
I've had a few episodes where I tried to put my head through a few shop windows on a bender at a bar.
Also same night, rode my bike about 200km/h + without a helmet at like 2 am.
Spending sprees do suck as well, had my last money to spend on food and fuel and spent it on a piece of shit, barely running bike on a whim.
Also took on 5 guys in a fight and nearly got the shit beaten out of me. Honestly, being beaten up almost felt good, like I enjoyed the pain.
It can feel fucking tits, but it's gets me in way more shit that it should, the amount of times I've felt concuss and passed the fucked out are more than both hands.
>>26273815
kek
i think i might have something since i feeel like shit almost all the time
and i'm paranoid at times
but right now i don't even care about all of this. it wasn't my decision so fuck everybody,
yes i'm fcuking weird so what? this society's fucked! look around you!
>>26269823
High functioning savant autism, obviously.
Can anyone beat this girl though? Schizo AND A MENTALLY ILL WEEB
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=trYzBN8qWs8
Schizophrenia and its offshoots (depersonalization, derealization), because they make you seem deep and into sophisticated philosophical ideas even if you're not trying to be.
>>26273977
Schizoid does not = Schizo
I seriously doubt she's a schizoid with that enthusiasm though.
>>26271747
>>26271701
>>26271643
>>26271629
>tfw BPD
>tfw literally just realized I could "not be a massive cunt"
Whenever I feel the need to be mean to my significant other, get in a random bad mood swing, or start feeling super attacked or the need to lash out I just deassociate from it.
Took months to finally figure out how to do it properly but it's basically putting on an entirely new face.
Instead of ignoring my girlfriend or acting like I'm upset with her just because I can I'll put on a happy face and play around with her until the compulsive anger fades away.
>>26273977
so quirky and unique xDDDDDD
>>26269887
>tfw mam suffers from pretty horrible depression
i do not understand how it became cool to have, i dunno if i also suffer from it but even with just 1 person definitely diagnosed, it's horrible
>>26269887
>depression
>cool
only if you live in europe, here in burgerland if you say you're depressed or sad people tell you to "just be happy" and "grow up" etc
>>26272026
Hearing voices now and then is perfectly normal and not by itself an indicator of schizophrenia. It can be due to stress, depression, bad sleep and much more.
Schizophrenia usually develops early twenties for guys and late twenties for females, but can come sooner or later. Usually there's an onset that can take months to years.
>>26272447
>>26272994
Not all schizophrenics see things or hear things but the key distinction is that schizophrenics are more detached from reality and generally can't be swayed when it comes to their delusions, and they are usually stronger and more prolonged than that of schizotypals. but schizophrenics can be functional too and aren't always completely disconnected and dysfunctional
>>26271571
>>26272602
woah woah woah, I hear random gibberish/unintelligible voices all the time. It started right after I smoked a little too much spice. I always hear it right as I'm falling asleep. I also see "remnants" of a trip that once was from doing too much spice (pic related). I thought schizophrenia was these symptoms but also the inability to distinguish what's real.
>>26272257
It's very likely that she's an attention whore.
>>26271701
anon link us to her profile on those sites
>>26274210
hypnagogic hallucinations
Hallucinogen persisting perception disorder
>>26270398
Mah nigga
Fuck you and your original comments hiro!
>>26274072
Fucking this. Americans have no knowledge of basic psychology 101. Not to mention how awful the mental health system is.
>>26275445
The pharmacutical companies are allowed to advertise directly to us. Our doctors offices are filled with posters, pens, notepads, TV's in the corners all advertising some new pill or treatment and to ask your doctor about it when you have your appointment.
The doctors themselves allow pharmacutical sales people (not trained in the medical field) to tell them about the new drugs. The doctors get monetary reimbursments if they convince their patients to take the new drugs.
We are fucked. This system is fucked deeply.
who else /concurrent borderline and schizoid personality disorder diagnosis/ here
the government gives me 2k in NEETbux a month just to keep me from becoming a hobo murderer
they also watch me take my meds (I don't :^)
definitely by far and away gender dysphoria, bonus cool points if you go through with it
>tfw I can't sleep without music or some noise because I keep hearing someone shouting
What the fuck is this? Is it because of the silence or what?
Legit Autism imo, you're all smart as shit. I heard that Autism is like the direct opposite of Schizophrenia too, ones left brain to the extreme and the others really right brain and analytic. Also heard if you're a schizo you're more likely to be stupid asf.
Seriously fuck all the normans going "I HAVE DEPRESHUN!!! XDDD LOOK AT EMEEEEMEMEEE11!1"
Diagnosed Bipolar, they're thinking it might be Schizophrenia now. Literally everyone thinks its a meme, doesn't exist.
>tfw feel invincible then go to not having energy to talk
>tfw delusions at all time high
>tfw normas go "im bipolarrrr" and try to make something out of it
What these fucks don't know is that bipolar also comes with a bit of a speech impediment, something like aphasia. You WANT to say something, might formulate it in your head, but can't, or feel as though you can't. If its severe enough it ends up being a jumbled stream of consciousness that no one understands when you speak.
>>26270141
>>26270396
>tfw when slightly borderline myself but thanks to apathy it doesn't hurt when I lose people anyways
>recently tried to build friendship with grill that turned out to be hardcore borderline, friendship broke since my narcissm and looking down on her made her go mad
>have another girl I talk to regularily that is a bit younger than me and borderline too, sometimes really freaking out and getting mad because she has some kind of self protective aggression when she thinks she loses me
Borderliners really are cancer, but it's so damn comfy when it works, you don't have to worry about them leaving you mostly.
>>26270632
I have the urge to touch things (if I do) at an exact spot and in an specified angle.
If I fail (which is guaranteed) I redo it trying to correct it.
Can take up to 11 tries.
>>26269823
whichever one gets you the drugs that make you look cool. but you can't tell people about your drugs or they'll try and make you give them your muscle relaxers and xanax. I need these drugs to be comfy, not you normie faggots
>>26276752
>bipolar also comes with a bit of a speech impediment, something like aphasia. You WANT to say something, might formulate it in your head, but can't, or feel as though you can't. If its severe enough it ends up being a jumbled stream of consciousness that no one understands when you speak.
Is that what that is?! I've never heard of this before, but it makes perfect sense. I've got bipolar disorder and a lot of the time I'll think about what I want to say and I'll be completely unable to express myself. Either I won't speak at all or my words will come out as a jumbled mess.
>>26271747
>>26271872
Wait, that comes from BPD?
Fug.
None. For very obvious reasons.
>>26276841
I'm bipolar as well. And this used to happen to me all the time, however once I became 18 and refused to take my medication it went away almost entirely. Not sure if it is a by-product of some of the government sanctioned drugs they give us a s children or the result of the unique neuron-wiring we have which makes us function differently than normies.
Either way, I think the mental health system and all it's bullshit "disorders" is just a giant money making scheme by big-pharma and an attempt by our corporate masters to further pacify the population and weed out potential political dissidents.
I would not where your diagnosis as with pride or let it define you. The mental "health" industry is full of shit. People are not supposed to be constantly happy and many of the "negative" emotions our modern culture demonizes such as hatred, sadness, anger, envy, and paranoia are extremely useful survival tools.
>>26278418
wear** your diagnosis.
Oopsie, I guess my dyslexia diagnosis is at least some-what accurate.
DID seems to be pretty popular right now, lots of tumblr kids think having it is "cool and edgy xdd"
make me feel bad for the people that actually have it
Narcissistic personality disorder. I have recently completely isolated myself from people and consequently adopted paranoid and schizoid traits as a way of dealing with no real sources of ego nourishment. I have always felt incredibly 'special'.
>>26269823
FUCK OFF with your tumblr bullshit
nobody wants to hear how quirky and weird your "mentle ilnesss" is fucker
I'm taking the b8 but I dont care this is some grade A bullshit. Mental illness isn't cool. It's literally what happens when people stop working. It's not some meme to put on your fucking tumblr you little shit.
Obviously the best disorder is being a narcissistic psychopath, though they generally aren't robots.
>>26278894
Try a narcissistic psychopath with schizotypal features. By far the most grandiose personality you're likely to find. These are the kinds of people who start cults.
>>26269823
Schizoid personality disorder. It's LITERALLY the Patrick Bateman disease.
>>26279094
No, Patrick Bateman was a psychopathic narcissist.>>26279094
>>26271802
I was 19-20. Constantly paranoid people were out to get me. It has gotten worse, it started as being antisocial and evolved into thinking every perwson my age was out to get me. I get paranoid, I can hear people in their cars talking about me, women constantly berate me. For a while I thought my neighbours were plotting against me and talking about me.
>>26272026
It developed it comes in waves. You are doing fine then all of a sudden the waves hits you and you are almost catatonic and you don't wan't to leave the house. Each times the wave hits the symptoms get worse (such as paranoia.) If you are in your late teens orearly to mid 20s I would see a psychologist if you are worried. It started developing when I was 17-18 symptoms started showing at 20. 21 was a nightmare. Now 22 going back on meds.
Schizoaffective is what I have.
Borderlinefags have a meme disorder and can fuck right off.
Sociopath
You'd control the cockroaches will
>>26270209
I cant even comprehend how shit it must be man
Like I get shitty voices and noises all the time but considering how easy they are to handle theyre fucking noting to what you must have
Stick in there
why /narcissist/ here.
crazy, arrogant and worship myself but not sociopathic so i am still human.
love this meme.
>Implying mental illness is cool
Go back to tumblr
>>26280352
I am. But i have serious avoidant and dependant traits so i tend to worship others (even though i consider them little more than extensions of myself) more. In high school i was an edgemaster loser with no friends who tried to scare people by spouting serial killer quotes and pretending to derive sick gratification from gorey images, so i was known as that guy. Most narcissists wont admit to having any mental illnesses. Narcissistic PD is incurable, genetic, stemming from white matter in a certain brain region, similar to psychopathy or aspd.
>>26280352
A true narcissist would have a trip
I feel as though one could learn to live a mental illness but none of them are very cool.
>>26280848
im not stupid just a narc.
theres a difference.
I have a lot of delusional thoughts and paranoia. And hear voices telling me I'm a loser over and over. I think of think I'm demonically possessed or astral vampires are draining by life force so I get sick for days and can't move out of bed.
>>26280894
The narcissist is easily defeated by the sociopath who publically humiliates the narcissist.
>>26280965
You sound psychotic. Have you been checked by a doctor?
>>26280970
The narcissist defeats the sociopath by killing the sociopath in a fit of narcissistic rage. Or, if the narcissist is a bitch, by picking up a book and reading it (reading is something antisocials cannot do).
>>26280987
No I'm just depressed that I can't fix this sort of lifelong curse upon my very soul. Doomed to walk this existence being haunted continually by tormenting demonic entities.
As well as my negative karma from my past life I was born with Saturn in Rahu. Hence its cursed yoga.
I tried suicide but I wasn't meant to die. I'm here to be abused until my death. Which after I die I'll incarnate in a better form but I think I'm bound to be dragged to hell.
Or even a sort of reincarnated vampire or demon.
>>26269823
Social anxiety, especially if you are a woman. Men will actually like you more since you aren't such a mouthy bitch.
>>26280965
> implying astral vampires don't exist
Wendigo Psychosis
>>26279094
Patrick Bateman was a good looking hyperchad - the prototypical sociopathic serial killer in a society so crazy and self-absorbed that no one even noticed or believed him. Schizoids, on the other hand, are totally detatched entities.
>anons pretend to have schizoid personality disorder because le stoic wizard XDD
it just makes me bland, tired and not have any real hobbies, although I guess a much less romantic form of stoicism still applies
so cool yeah
but really its not anything to bitch about at least
>>26279152
It's a pretty shit feeling, then you learn it's real and then it's even shittier. I got numb to it over time, and avoid people when I don't have to be around them. There are a lot of real phenomena like gang stalking and psychic abuse that people pass off as the domain of mentally ill. In fact they want to drive people into madness. Schizophrenia could just be a cover illness for the sick rituals some groups perform. There is a lot more about this on /x/ and/fringe/if you are interested. I know big pharma hates people understanding the reality of the situation.
>>26274072
Not really Tbh.
t. have depression and live in America
>>26281475
>stoicism
Being stoic is pretty boring.
Its not for me senpai, even as boring as I am.
>>26269823
Psychopathy
Go and read the symptoms they are amazing
>>26274072
unfortunately it isn't confined to burgerland. im in uk and have had that 'just be happy shit' on numerous occaisions
>>26281222
if you're a man not cool at all. sure girls may have a fetish for that 'shy guy' but beyond that it's just total shit all around
>>26281797
Not really, psychopath cant read
>>26281842
What?Are you serious?
>>26269823
I don't know if anger issues count as a mental illness but it's great because you're basically a ticking time bomb and people can smell the disaster from a mile away so they leave you alone.
>Normie-tier
Depression, Bipolar, OCD, Anxiety
>Robot-tier
The 'tism, schizophrenia/schizoid/schizotypal
>KYS-tier
Borderline, ASPD
>>26281857
Yeah, they have a sort of semantic aphasia. They are unable to speak or hear any meaning in words.
>>26281964
They have this in common with stupid people. Sometimes I wonder whether I have aspd or I am just stupid.
>>26281797
Dear lord man
I wish I was a psycopath
People dont realize that theres differnt deggres of schizophrenia, deppresion , anziety ect.
Mental illness is a spectrum. Not everyone with schizo. hears voices or has paranormal delusions ect.
Mental illness is very complicated
>>26269823
autism
AND NOW I HAVE TO FUCKING ADD IN ALL THIS B8 BECAUSE AUTISM IS FUCKING UNORIGINAL
>>26273764
>violent rampage that ruins my life and forces me to relocate
Greentext?
>sectioned last year
>got diagnosed with BPD and Psychosis
>put on anti-psychotics and anti depressants
Can someone even have both of these "disorders"?
>>26276754
>friendship broke since my narcissm and looking down on her made her go mad
>replaces her with younger girl instantly
kek, are you ASPD?
ADHD
get that sweet sweet dextroamphetamine
spend 16 hours making a really cool toothpick house
>>26282291
how did you get sectioned
(captcha -that wasn't a milkshake you cunt it was a latte)
>>26282428
All dex did was make me masturbate ferociously. I ruined my penis: friction burns, tears, scarring, inflammation, and worst of all urethral bleeding
>>26281222
Heck no. Not being able to leave your home for months at a time because of severe anxiety isn't "cool", and no guy would want a worthless piece of shit like that.
Not like a worthless piece of shit like that could even meet a guy in the first place though.
Im pretty sure i have the same mental illness as piers morgan,whatever that is, utter shit
>>26270141
I hate Borderline people.
>>26282428
I have ADHD. I just find it hard to concentrate on anything that's not interesting.
>>26282847
As does everyone. Adhd is literally a meme disorder
>>26282291
Why would you think they couldn't? One of my stepbrothers is schizoaffective and has Aspergers, so essentially he's blessed with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, and autism all at the same time.
>>26269823
Bipolar.
It's basically like being a tweaker, but your ups are free and you crash just the same. If I had the shit I wouldn't spend so much damn money on meth
>>26282891
I get so sick of people who pretend this isn't true just because "HEY AMPHETAMINE HELPS ME FOCUS, I TOTALLY HAVE A LEGITIMATE DISORDER". Amphetamine helps most people focus. Stimulants don't effect people diagnosed with ADD/ADHD differently from other people. That's pharmaceutical lobby lies. Not that I don't enjoy the ridiculous surplus of stimulant drugs which this fake mental illness has created.
>>26269823
the one that makes Joker who he is?
what's that one called?
No mental illness is the coolest.
Go me for not being like you subhumans.
>>26282988
I guarantee you have at least one undiagnosed mental illness
>>26282921
But it doesn't feel good, being forced to be stimulated against your will is not the same as taking stimulant drugs willingly. On top of that being psychotic is no fun, I nearly died a few times because of reckless shit that I did, I am lucky to be alive. I spent 6 months in a psych ward off my fucking rocker thinking demons were after me. It is an incredibly debilitating disorder that ruins your life.
Hey, bipolar bros, what medication is working for you?
I have a doctor appointment coming up and I'm think of getting of anti-psychotics because I don't like the side effects.
>>26283258
oral botox
>>26269823
schizophrenia
I wish using the word depression when you aren't suicidal every day or even diagnosed wasn't a thing
>>26281964
Wrong, they are beyond any level of apathy you can even comprehend. It is that nothing has any weight or depth to it. Imagine peering through a peephole with your everyday activities, while you are so bored of everything around you that you just spend your time fucking with people and drinking enormous amounts of alcohol.
I'm schizophrenic and I've decided to go med-free. My meds make me completely unable to care for myself. I'm sick of needing to do things, only to be way too exhausted. Gonna use kratom to stabilize my moods. Gonna learn to cope with the voices and hallucinations. Right now the biggest trouble I'm having is sleep. I've been so dependent on this shit to knock me out at the end of the day, that I can't go without it.
Any other bots going med-free?
>>26283502
that's the first i'm hearing of people using botox as an anti-depressant or mood stabilizer. interesting.
>>26283541
This is all just because you cannot into abstract thought
>>26281337
I know they exist but everyone thinks it's crazy. I've seen them. I've lived out entire past lives in my dreams. Been to other planets. I go into comatose states of long sleep and then wake and not sleep for days.
And my thoughts are always invaded by intrusions from alienic beings. They show me things I don't want to see.
And sometimes I get sociopathic urges to murder and such. Once I was sick and had to eat raw meat to survive. Animal meat from the grocery store though.
>>26283607
It's not a mood stabilizer. I've read about it, apparently it literally just makes you smile all day and that's supposed to make you "happy".
>>26283581
I went med-free a few weeks ago. So far it made me feel less like the living dead. I still hallucinate badly though sometimes. My thoughts are clear at least.
It has cleared up some of my apathy. Any bots /apathetic on meds/ here?
>>26283649
yeah it also makes you rest very well if taken orally at recommended amount
>>26283636
Abstract how? Go into detail.
>>26276754
You sound like a psychopath. Do you feel sorry for them?
>>26283541
have you considered you might just be unintelligent?
there's so much food for thought out there
>>26283637
>sick
>had to eat raw meat
Are you saying you had an astral vampire ailment?
>tfw women ruined mental illness for everyone
>>26269823
Autism is getting there
Anyone else /using their mental illness for creative activities/?
I'm bipolar and working on an album rn.
>>26283637
>And sometimes I get sociopathic urges to murder and such
>and such
Kek, who would you get the urge to murder? The vampires?
>>26283736
I am not going to go into this trite bullshit you faggot.
>>26283541
You don't write like a psychopath. Have you considered that you are nothing more than a malignant piece of narcissistic shit?
>>26283804
What sort of album? That's pretty neat anon.
>>26283866
heh ok edgelord whatever you say
>>26283877
He comes off like a textbook malignant narc.
>>26283879
It's a noisey acoustic album, don't know how to explain it. Trying to make like 10-minute epics with lots of variation and changes. I'm reading this book on music theory by Schoenberg, who was a very talented abstract composer.
>>26282625
Just go outside.
>>26283877
I'll concede I am a narcissistic piece of shit but I didn't know they had specific writing styles unless you are looking for golden god monologues like Dennis Reynolds. Would it help if I told you a nurtured a girls devotion and crushed her listening to her sob and cry declaring how "I don't give a single shit about her" after she worshiped the ground I walked on and just wanted to talk to me. I had to hold in my laughter through her sobs, I almost regret not going Iron Man numbers on her. The funny thing is I have done this so many times confessing my sins which go far and above such trivial things as some whore's feelings and it's always "you don't seem like one" then it evolves to "you ever consider getting some help?"
>>26283890
K bruh
>>26284022
>he made a girl cry in highschool
>he thinks he's a tough guy
>>26269823
>What is the coolest mental illness to have, /r9k/?
Since when we're tumblr?
>>26284022
>confessing my sins which go far and above such trivial things as some whore's feelings
What else have you done?
>>26284127
Not at all and it wasn't in high school. I just thought why not.
>>26284022
You're not cool, you're a loser. Keep drinking, narcissist.
>>26269823
>Bipolar Disorder
Literally normalfag: the personality disorder
>>26272390
Does anybody else know about yours?
For a while, it seemed like my mother was starting to catch on to mine, but it looks like I've managed to evade her probing for now.
>>26284167
When was it then, last night in your dreams?
>>26284212
getting hospitalized isn't normie tier, mate.
>>26284132
We're really not all that different. Most people here are mentally ill me thinks and it might do wonders for some peoples esteem to open up about their problems
>>26284022
Why do you hate women? You sound like a child.
For those currently with Schizophrenia, how did it originally begin for you? What were the first signs?
>>26284379
This August, started seeing shit while camping in New York State. Then it just stayed feelsbadman
>>26284160
Well when I was 19 my fetishes began to manifest themselves even further and I ended up masturbating to decapitation vids of some fat narco women. I almost blacked out the first time and now I am addicted to that, it can come 3 times in a week or once a month. I have a specific collection of dead women on my phone for just such occasions.
Beyond that I just really like messing with people, belittling them, and making them feel like shit(whether that be angry or sad). The unfortunate thing is everything is starting to blur. I throw coworkers under the bus and I can't stop telling half truths.
>>26284252
Nope.
>>26284318
Don't know the specifics beyond bitterness. I guess it just feels good to self destruct.
>>26284415
>Well when I was 19 my fetishes began to manifest themselves even further
>even further
How did they start? What are your other fetishes?
>>26270418
got them both, not as swell as you think
>>26284415
Sounds like you sexualized your own death as a child, tragic.
What does having borderline personality disorder feel like? How does it affect your life?
>>26284415
>I almost blacked out the first time and now I am addicted to that
How do you have sex?
>>26284550
I, on the other hand, sexualized big ass black dick.
>>26284569
My ex was borderline, basically needy and overly emotional.
>>26284470
It started off when I was 11 I think. I was playing Oblivion (funny I know) and I would roleplay. Undress bodies and messing around with them got me rock hard and I could lose myself in that. It seemed natural to be drawn to expositionism, molestation, and sleeping fetishes. It seemed like such a "normal" evolution of events in the sense that it was transitionless.
Winding down after a fapping session indulging in these things with gore and violence keeps this warm surge going. I get lost. I get focused but at the same time I am not there, it's an incredible high.
>>26284550
Don't know if that is particularly true. I don't really care if I live or die. It would be easier if I was dead, but I am also not suicidal. It's a very weird thought and feeling.
Whatever Francis Dolarhyde had
>>26284415
>of some fat narco women
do you have a fat fetish too?
>>26284581
Sex fulfills the evolutionary prerogative programmed into your DNA. What I was fulfilling there was a release of all of my anger and hate, the relief was amazing.
>>26284687
No, I just take what is at hand I guess. Attraction has not much to do with this, but it can play a role.
>>26284624
Do you think if you came across a real dead body you would become sexually aroused?
>>26284687
He himself is probably fat.
>>26284723
Why do you have that much anger and hate in you?
>>26269823
i assume people who are gay have the best mental illness.
>>26284679
In the novel he could clean and jerk 300 pounds
Wish I could have some killer gains like that
>>26274210
dude, are you me? same thing happened to me with spice, only i had a psychotic episode immediately after as well
>>26284733
Yes I believe I absolutely would and I would be paranoid about it. I have had fantasies stumbling across one in the woods despite me never going into the woods. Like the stars aligning kind of circumstance. I am not into decomposition but I would at least masturbate.
>>26284785
I feel cheated and robbed of my humanity, forced into taking part in something I never wanted. People have never been kind to me and I had a very absent childhood of burning things and killing things. I realize the absurdity of these things and I can only laugh at how cliche it seems. I osculate between being beyond empty to losing my mind.
>>26276705
lol there's no such thing as ''left brain'' or ''right brain'' the sole difference is in the language part which is in the angular gyrus of the left part
>>26284818
I see them
I see the gains
I won't say a word about your gains if you let me go
intelligence blox
>>26269823
Homosexualityoriginal comment, roboto-sama
>>26284980
>asks to be set free
>given a fatal dose of gasoline fueled flame instead
>>26284836
can confirm I am not you but the OD happened for me 3 times. The first time was actually a pleasant experience and left very minor hallucinations, stupid me thinking they would go away did another time and went to another dimension and got stuck with somewhat obscuring visuals. then another time at a party I hit what I thought was weed and it happened again.
don't. do. spice. EVER.
>>26284856
>People have never been kind to me and I had a very absent childhood
Were you abused?
>>26284980
OPEN YOUR EYES
MIRE THEM
OPEN YOUR EYES OR I'LL LIFT THEM OPEN
>>26285104
Not physically by my parents. My mom is a neurotic mess while my father was an alcoholic working 70 hours during the entirety of my childhood. I had very few and far between friends and spent years in isolation. Visibly I was the class clown doing outrageous things and saying anything for laughs.
>>26269823
Bipolar for sure. Because some days you're like "fuck life, I don't give a shit" and other days you're "holy shit I love life its so great" and other days you're all like "I'm pissed, whoever talks to me next is gonna get messed up"
Piousness. There is no context to my thought. I am an idiot.
Depression as a girl
It's like a free pass into the special snowflake club
>>26285167
You sound like a protypical serial killer. From what I've read, alcoholism is the cure.
>tfw paranoid schizo
>tfw constantly think people are out to manipulate me or laughing behind my back
>terrified of even small crowds
>regularly see my sister who killed herself 10 years ago
suffering lads.
>>26271629
Dude
Borderline and serious schizophrenia are probably some of the worst afflictions to have (mentally). Fuck people who make this into a meme illness
>>26270209
Your parents are responsible for all your problems.
>>26285381
Already ahead of you bud. I just can't help but laugh at everything now, I mean that is all I really can do. The world is burning.
>>26276196
Your post makes me think of https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-A4zT8wp8E.
>>26269823
>mfw my seizure medicine lamictal also cures bipolar disorders
>mfw the only time I felt emotionally better is when I overdosed 3x over the maximum dosage
Surprised I didn't die. My boyfriend just kind of sat there on the other side of the couch and let it happen. I asked for him to get me some TUMS from the cabinet and he did it with an attitude
>>26285651
>boyfriend
I wish you did die, anon.
>>26276196
This is sadly very accurate. Here, the main goal for psychiatrists is to sell the most medication to as many clients as possible. They don't give diddly-fuck whether it actually helps the patient, does nothing and they keep prescribing it anyway, or if it fucks them up for life.
>>26285651
how about kill yourself more efficiently. Stream 2
antisocial personality disorder (sociopaths + psychopaths)
>>26270209
>>26271571
Man for the longest of time I wished I had schizophrenia. I tried to induce it.
I have an extremely vivid imagination but it didn't make the stretch into legit hallucinations :(
The schizo hobos I've seen have always seemed cool.
>>26285487
You seem like you're trying too hard.
>>26271571
Usually my voices are complete nonsense too, like snippits of conversations mashed together. But this past month, they've been suicidal commands.
>Kill yourself!
>Jump in front of that car!
>You're worthless!
It's fucking awful. I don't know how to make them stop. And whenever they command me to do something, I have to deliberately stop myself from doing it. Otherwise my mind is just like, "Okay, voice, that sounds reasonable" and starts to do it or agree with it.
>>26286451
This is dangerous. Get help.
>>26286952
Not that guy but another schizo here. What "help" do you think exists in this world for people like us? This shit is only ever going to be managed not cured. Fuck you.
>>26271550
Nigger it's you who's going to be removed, not kebab.
>>26269823
anything with charming sociopathic tendencies is fetishized to the max
>>26288114
m8, just take the damn pills. Seroquel LITERALLY causes your brain to grow long-term memory receptors so you can keep your shit together.
Your choice is to be a stupid narcissitic fuck that is always ruining life for someone else or lock in prison, or a bumbling fuck that might not be ever able to work, but can at least feed, cloth, and find something to keep yourself busy.
>>26288472
not him, but Seroquel is some heavy duty shit. class 2 anti-psychotics have some serious side-effects.
I'm trying to switch to something else right now to help manage my mood
>>26270209
Schizophrenia/schizoaffective disorder (mood disorder + schizophrenia)
I have schizoaffective disorder. Nothing like begin constantly afraid of the shadow people, darklings, and lurkers. Not to mention the annoying voices. Voices aren't much of a problem, it's those goddamned shadow people and darklings.
The shadow people are always trying to sneak up on me and are always watching me. They can be in light, but they prefer to come out when I have a minimal amount of lights on. The darklings can only be in darkness and they are always there, in the darkness so I have to sleep with some form of light on that fills the room. Also have to set my alarm for every 2 hours because they like to wait until you're really asleep and then they do who knows what.
Lurkers sit outside my window and watch me which I really don't like. They don't do much, they just sit there and watch so I close the blinds all the time.
I just wish they'd leave me alone.
>>26273917
Mah nigga.
>all these plebs not wanting superhuman abilities
>>26288678
you know if you'd switch the lights off you could become friends with them. At first I was like 'dude why are you here' but once you get to know them they can be pretty cool. We hang out quite a lot
>>26283541
>>26283866
>>26284022
>>26284415
>>26284624
>>26284723
>>26284856
Literally an angry child.
My early years were similar to yours from the sounds of it and I learned that throwing away my future and making even more of a mess of this world isn't worth it, even if it feels good to indulge my anger in the moment.
Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound with your 'woe is me, muh humanity' bullshit when your actions help create potentially more people like you?
You've let the world overcome you, weak-minded faggot.
>>26289115
Completely different batshit anon...
When I'm really tired I become susceptible to my imagination - quite literally. I get distracted in a memory and suddenly I'm there; deposed from reality in every sense. It's made it impossible to work. I was fired from starbucks for arguing with a japanese WWII soldier asking me "Juuwa dokodesuka" and I had no fucking idea where his gun was.
Blankets/newspaper over every window that I come across after sundown. Can't handle them watching me. I haven't even personified who "They" are yet - this is a somewhat recent thing. I just have this vague stretched face with too many teeth in my mind, and I know he watches me.
Mirror above computer monitor. Always can see behind me, because just in case.
My dead grandma visits me when I'm trying to fall asleep and makes me feel really guilty about all the shitty shit I have done, and all the shitty things I've thought about doing over the course of the day. It's kind of soothing now, having a routine for the day where no matter what I do, there's something waiting for me when I try to sleep - something to keep me company while I slip away.
Cannot function without a constant source of noise. Silence is fucking terrifying. In the pit of my being, I know being silent is being dead, and when the world around me is too quiet I think I've died. Closed spaces I can handle, crowds and groups of people I'm fine, but put me in a quiet place and I will immediately start crying.
I've been prescribed many different things since I started seeing a doctor about my worsening schizoaffectiveness (when I was 19, am 23 now). I've tried a host of different medications, notably Seroquel, Abilify, and olanzapine. Due to side effects of taking 30mg of olanzapine a day I have to take Benztropine or my muscles lock up, as well as Fluoxetine to control my mood, and an older pill triazolam to sedate myself or I won't sleep - just sit there listening to grandma for hours.
>>26284856
Even when youre anonymous you cant stop sounding like an edgy, attention seeking teen
>>26269823
Schizopergers. I have it
