This is continued from yesterday. Perhaps someone will post screen grabs of my story. This is part 2.
Quick summary for the new joiners to my tale:
>be chubby lonely neet
>be in wisconsin during the winter
>be days from homeless because lease ended
>put desperation ad on craigslist for housing
>pre-med student with a mortgage with her parents messages me
>offers me cheap housing since i am desperate
>she has a boyfriend
>she is my landlady/roommate
>she is never around, stays with her long term chad bf
>I live in a 3 bedroom 2 story nice home alone 99% of the time
>Neet-nest is constructed in my room
>rest of house looks like a show-house from disuse
>multiple bad winter storms only make this worse
>never leave house except for food
>go weeks without leaving
Then it begins
>begin to do strange rituals like pissing on the carpet in the basement at 2am
>start snooping in her belongings/room
>cum into her dirty clothes
>masturbate on her bed
>invite a crazy craigslist Fatlet whore over
>rawdog her bloody on roommates bed
>cum blood and pewp everywhere
>regularly wafflestomp pewps in shower
>regularly cum into roommates shampoo bottle
>do other strange things like freeze shits and vandalize neighbors
>almost get caught being disgusting neet
>blame hobos breaking in while on "vacation"
>get away with it
>invent plan to corrupt landlady
>sabotage her engagedment/relationshit
>hide webcams all over, study her every move when she is around
>corrupt her slowly over the course of a few weeks/months
>manage to bed her while she's shitfaced drunk
>intentionally impregnate her
I left off where her mother showed up in the early spring to re-do their garden, and to berate her daughter. Daughter/landlady gave the excuse she got knocked up at a house party after winter finals. Mom wants her to babort. Her parents suspect the seed germinating in her womb is mine but have no proof
>The saga continues
>early march, her mom has finally left after 2 weeks
>the awkwardness of the situation intensifies
>landlady asks me why i didn't tell her i was in love with her sooner
>feign shyness, but know the truth that i am not in love with her
>she thinks my being coy is endearing
>not sure if i regret this choice
>i decide i don't. My seed must bloom
>The covenant must not be broken
Two weeks later, it's early april
>chad boyfriend shows up after a frenzy of sexing random stacies
>demands to speak with landlady calls me a fatty
>tell him the only fatty here is the one that put that bun in her oven
>he rages, claims its his
>i fag laugh at him and tell him to get off my property
>he says its landlady's not mine
>i am a tenant, leave or i call police
>he tells me to call police
>he is getting agressive
>see him grab his waistband
>something is wrong
>turn to go fake call police, hear him start quickly walking towards me
>break into run at the last second, reach door, he grabs it
>I slam the door open on his face
>the tinkle of broken glass and teeth is amusing
>landlady comes outside to see wtf is going on
>chad claims i tricked him into hurting him
>claims he has proof the papoose in her gullet is his
>she takes pity on him, yells at me
>she takes him to the hospital
>tells me we're gonna talk and sort this out permanently when she gets home
>laugh to self
>put up a craigslist ad on casual encounters, it's time for my dingaling to be inside a new pucci
>>24382117
oh god yes, i was here yesterday OP is a god
I've been patiently waiting
>>24382117
>>24382268
asdkljdhfdkjhaskjdfhwehrf3f37f4fksdhfeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
dfft5
>>24382268
>landlady spends 6+ hours at hospital, suspect she is actually talking to Chad
>Worried Chad is converting her back
>Get a text at 11pm saying she will be home soon
>know where this is going thanks to 4chan
>she gets in closer to 1. I finish masturbating into the sink
>anon this isn't normal
>what are you talking about
>this relationship we've had isnt healthy
>why
>i am your landlady, i needed a change and things were nice but this cant go on
>chad says the baby is his
>i tell her it doesn't matter what he thinks DNA test or stfu
>she thinks its absurd i want a dna test
>she asks me if id be willing to let things go and let chad think its his, in exchange for 1 year free rent and no obligation to the baby
>me being insane neet, agree
>she cries a bit and tells me she is leaving
>she says i am welcome to stay because good person but she needs to "follow her heart"
>we all know that means "follow chads cock"
>not too disappointed
>just got chad to be financially obligated for my devil spawn
>things could be worse
3 weeks later...
>no sign of landlady or her family, my new neetnest is near complete. it is constructed of sheets and blankets and pillows. the columns that hold it up are large apple juice bottles full of my urine
>i keep them capped 24/7 because i dont want to breathe in ammonia
>fast food wrappers, napkins, and other paper covers the floor
>carpet beetles freely roam the vast trash meadows
>don't even have carpet for the beetles
After a month of no landlady, pucci, or devilish behavior i get "the itch"
>the itch is what makes me freeze turds and wrap them in flour tortillas and tin foil
>the itch made me piss in the corners of the basement at exactly 2am every night for months
>the itch made me pewp in the shower, etc.
cont. below
>>24382452
>one of my darker masturbation frenzies involved bestiality
>remember that the neighbor dog wasn't dead
>i never killed it with my frozen shit-saber
>sneak over one night, dog barks a little but i throw a treat at it
>no penis
>its a female
>wonder if i could befriend the dog
>skip back to my house at 3am after petting puppy
>go into landladys room
>take a pair of her panties
>stuff them wayyyyyy up my own butt, way up there
>jack off in the shower
>forgot my funnel i use to put sperm into landlady's shampoo
>after 3 months of sperming in her bottle it is now basically 99% sperm 1% water
>shit her panties out into a ziplog bag and toss it in the drier with the drier off
>yawn sleepily and crawl into my neetnest and fall asleep until almost 5pm the next afternoon...
>>24382117
>>24382268
>>24382452
YES!!! IVE BEEN WAITING ALL DAY TO HEAR THE CONTINUATION OF THE SAGA!
>>24382548
>wake up, it's still kind of light out
>occupy myself trolling craigslist for dna dumpsters
>find a 45 year old fatty named charlotte
>we exchange information and pix and she promises we can chill the next day
>make up sob story about changing jobs and hint if she brings me pizza i'll cum in her pucci
>she agrees
>its about 11pm now
>decide to see how my shit-lock bag is doing
>fetch it from the drier
>notice the pewp is more flakey and solid than liquid
>go HMMMMMM outloud
>start singing MMMMMBOP by Hanson
>put the shit panties on and go outside in the dark, see if the dog is outside. It is.
>laugh at myself and go back inside
>grab my bait
>grab my scissors
>approach dog
>shes nervous but no barking, she smells the treat
>offer her peanut butter crackers while i snip off the collar
Earlier that day I put black out curtains in the basement patio door so nobody could see in. I dragged my mattress down stairs and set up a plastic sheet on top of it, and a blanket on top that. Why? You'll find out next post
>pat doge on head and offer her more crackers
>she follows me back to the house
>>24382678
what in all that is holy has driven you into such a primal psychopathy??
>>24382678
>Why? You'll find out next post
fuck off faggot
Any picture proof? Sounds too insane to be true
>>24382725
>once i get back to the house i lead the dog down to the basement, she is shaking a bit
>i reassure the doge and pat it
>off come my pants
>on goes the peanut butter
>show dog more peanutbutter
>lay on floor
>lay back and relax as dog licks my dick for the next 30+ minutes
>why haven't i thought of this before
>after orgasm #3 i open the patio door and off she runs
>take a shower and see what time it is
>its only after midnight
>fire up WoW and call people fags til 4am
>nestle into my neet nest and fall asleep wondering if I could somehow convert my landlady's room into a neet nest as well
this is making me feel really bad for that kind hearted landlady tbhladfam
>>24382791
i have some proof of some things it depends on what you want
>>24382678
>start singing MMMMMMBOP by Hanson
My fucking sides
>>24382678
>start singing MMMMMBOP by Hanson
my sides and my eyes
>>24382822
How about the lease, bedfort and one of the texts from your sex-ads?
Even if fake, it's a 10/10 story. If we get some picture proof then holy fucking shit.
>>24382898
This- if OP delivers
This shall enter into the anals of history
tell us about fugging the landlady.
>>24382798
>wake up around noon
>4 text messages, 1 email
>landlady texted asking if we can talk
>fat whore charlotte asking if i like pizza hut or dominos
>dominos
>tell landlady i will be busy until the weekend but we can talk then
>she texts me back saying its important but can wait
>oh boy here we go
>charlotte texts me
>can i come over now
>i tell her no i am cleaning
>dont clean
>wonder what would happen if I put a turd in the oven, not to cook but to dry it out
>say fuck it
>go to bathroom with landlady's spaghetti colander
>let'er rip
>fish out my chocolatey prize, wrap it lovingly in tin foil and put in landlady's baking dish
>bake at 250 degrees for 1 hour
>wowie the whole house smells like a burning sewer
>would panic but beyond the point of caring
>open all windows, use entire bottle of febreeze everywhere but my room
>my room
>shit, how can i fug this fat ugly whore without at least removing piss jugs
>charlotte's eta is 2 hours
>clean most of the disgusting things out of my room, save piss jugs in garabge, throw dog-sex plastic over them
>hide cooked turd in the fridge
>eta 1 hour.
>last diseased-brain idea
>cheese grater on the turd to make shit-flakes
>grate turd into dust, put in salt shaker
>wonder what i can do with it
>10 min until the hindenburg arrives
>jump in the shower, make sure no peanut butter left
>ding dong knock knock
>>24382898
it's been several years since this happened i will see if i have a digital copy of the lease somewhere, i have landlady's email still but no way i am giving that out obviously
let me look around while i wait between post times and see what i can dig up for u all
>>24382976
this is where part 1 is, it was archived
>>24360199
>>24383040
Don't believe you for a second, but the story is interesting nonetheless, though I wonder why you didn't type it out beforehand.
i can't provide very good/any proof yet but here's a small pic showing part of what i am saying is true
>>24383191
the fuck kind of proof is that
>>24383203
the not very good kind, but i am giving what i can
This is pretty fucked.
1. She helped you out when you were screwed and you fuck with her stuff
2. You need to be checked out
>>24383215
get on the story ffs, no one cares if real or fake.
>>24383015
>charlotte is at the door
>race to the door wearing pj pants and no undies and a tshirt
>my signature sex wear
>open the door and feign a smile as i take in the sight before me. plump, gross, and desperate for some under 30 cock
>pic related (yes this is actually her)
>she lumbers in and plops down on my couch and says i smell nice
>halfway smile, sit across from her on a chair
>she keeps eyeballing my groin
>ask her if she wants to fug
>she says i thought you'd never ask
>she stands up and reaches under her considerable girth and unbuttons her too tight for her body pants and i can barely see her panties due to fat
>sigh at myself for doing this
>she walks over to me and slips her hand into hole in my pj pants and fondles my chub
>she gasps and says wow its thick
>i grin at her and her yellow toothed mouth goes south and she rakes her gnarled teeth over my shaft
>tell her to stop
>whats wrong
>bend over
>i bend her over and take her from behind, pumping myself into her warmth
>feels good man just gotta pretend im not banging a whale
>call her a dirty ho
>she says dont cum inside me
>i say i wont i wont
>keep thrusting and pounding, she groans a bit, i slam all the way in smacking her cervix and she says dude that hurt you asshole and so I do it again and again
>she finishes somehow
>she tells me to pull out so she can finish me off
>nope.jpg
>my cock seizes up like an epileptic old man
>sneezes gravy into her bald tire of a bagina
>she gets mad saying omg im not on the pill
>tell her sorry
>she goes and cleans up
>silence
>shes taking forever
>peek into her purse
>steal $100 bill
>there's a birthday card in there too
>hear a scream
>oh shit what did she find
>another scream
>i race to the bathroom and see what looks like a piece of strawberry cheesecake someone dropped
>charlotte is crying
>miscarriage on my bathroom floor
>>24383408
>>sneezes gravy into her bald tire of a bagina
This is what I've been waiting all day for. Thank you kind anon.
>>24383408
Hahahaha what the fuck man. Not sure if I should be amazed or utterly horrified.
>>24383408
>next couple hours are difficult
>resort to googling "miscarriage how to clean up"
>find out that the miscarriage was far enough long i need to report it
>sigh i dont need this shit
>pull out all the stops and fake take care of charlotte
>call 911 and tell them what happened
>EMT's show up, ask our relation
>Explain we were on a "date"
>they roll their eyes and talk to charlotte for a while
>they explain she has to go to the hospital to be cleaned up and that this was nobodys fault
>charlotte has a crazy look on her face
>think nothing of it
>SHE APOLOGIZES TO ME
>medical tech tells me he needs to clean up the bathroom and take the fetus so charlotte can decide how to dispose of it
>check the time
>damn dominos is closed
This has to be true. It's more probable than OP being such a literary genius.
>>24383652
>>damn dominos is closed
kek
>>24383652
>couple days go by
>charlotte texts me
>im so sorry about the other night
>the doctor said ur penis wasn't the cause
>he said the baby was already gone
>text her back literally "o that sux"
>she responds with a "..."
>she asks if i can forgive her
>say sure
>block her from everything
>order dominos with stolen $100
It's almost may, which means temperatures outside are going to be above 40 degrees F.
That's a problem because my neetnest is designed for comfort and utility. Also, I don't need the summer heat exploding my pissjugs
>decide its cleaning day
>good timing
>landlady texts saying she wants to stay at her own place for a few days (the place i rent)
>tell her i cant wait to catch up
>full on panic mode as i realize that the house once again is covered in shit piss peanut butter stains cum blood and now
>fetal blood stain in bathroom
>SIGH
>force myself to spend some of the $100 on bus pass and go to home depot and get grout cleaner
>clean floor
>walk to taco bell and buy a Grande Meal of 10 bean burritos
>i have a plan
>force myself to finish all 10 and wash it down with milk
>feel like death
>farting constantly for the next 8 hours
>fall asleep around 5am after cybering with a 30 year old MILF who will spoiler alert be my next play thing (not sex, tired of fetuses)
>>24383868
OP ARE YOU THERE IM WAITING :D THANKS FAMM
>>24383868
>its may, it's hot
>its boring, it's hot
>decide i need to get away a few days, landlady wont even be back for a few days until weekend
>house isn't too shabby
>decide to take a greyhound to home town 90 miles away
>decide to be devilish/weird at home
>decide to stay with parents, the birth place of my first fledgeling attempts at sink pissing, piss jugging and devilry
>call mom up, she isn't thrilled with the idea
>brother in background is also a neet but homebound
>asks why i get to visit when i do weird stuff
>laugh and ask wtf he is talking about
>mom said he found my "weird porn" on the old computer I gave him
>shrug
>tell her ill only stay until weekend
>ok
2 hours later
>pull up to parents house, both parents look 5 days from death
>idiot brother looks like retard
>regret my choice immediately
>hang out til night
>decide to begin devilry
>Take massive bean burrito filled shit in the upper deck of the toilet my brother uses
>Think i am being sneaky, walk past his bedroom, his door is open
>I hear strange sounds
>blowing and hissing
>wtf
>brother is inflating a garbage bag inside his underwear using a straw
>I AM CONFUSED AS FUCK
>literally walk into my elderly parents bedroom at 1am and wake them up announcing my brother is inflating a bag on his dick
>my dad who is motsly deaf bellows out WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
>my mom says ANON ANON(middle name) WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING
>MOM TOMMY (FAKE NAME) IS INFLATING A GARBAGE BAG ON HIS DICK WITH A STRAW
>dad mutters about niggers and gets up
>mom gets up and goes to his room and demands to know what perverse shit he is doing
>retire to my room faglaughing until i fall alseep, ready to go home.
>wake up only 5 hours later to sounds of my brother panicking
>MOM THERE'S SHIT COMING OUT OF THE TOILET
>dad asks who has the horse ass on'em
Fun visit.
>Time to go home
>tomorrow I meet up with landlady, maybe i can scam my way into her body again...
>>24384106
you bastard lmao
>>24384106
>dad mutters about niggers and gets up
fucking lel
>>24384106
this shit is pure autistically filled magic and I love every bit of it
been waiting all day to see this
please type faster op
>>24384106
>today is the day landady returns to visit
>i make sure the house is nice, and that i am on my best behavior. I decide to make her brownies using the shit flakes I baked before charlotte miscarried.
>landlady arrives around 2pm and sits me down
>she is firm but nice, saying we cant ever mess around again
>i notice she is acting off
>she tells me that she ended up getting baborted
>she flushed my child
>angry but not too shocked
>at least it didn't happen in my bathroom
>soothe her with sweet words of kindness and offer her a brownie
>she takes a small bite and wrinkles her nose but doesn't say anything
>thats right you stacy bitch eat my shit
>urge for evil and odd rituals surges
>she tells me she won't be staying here anymore because chad thinks its unhealthy for their engagement to be around me
>she thanks me for taking such great care of her home and her parents home and she leaves after only a few minutes
>i full on rage
>all my work and planning undone by a hoover
>moon will be full again soon
>the covenant must be kept
>i calmly retreat to my bedroom
>pull the curtains
>and open craigslist
>>24384345
>at least it didn't happen in my bathroom
kek.jpg
>>24384345
HOW DARE SHE WHO THE FUCK DOES SHE THINK SHE IS
HOLY FUCKING SHIT I CAN'T BELIEVE IT
STACY YOU FUCKING
WHORE
>>24384433
got to hell tripfag
>>24384470
>tripfag
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
NEWFRIEND!
>>24384345
>the next couple weeks are pretty drab, nothing really interesting happens
>it's getting close to late june
>getting hot as balls out
>especially the garage.
>Garage.
>The jugs
>I never took care of the piss jugs under the dog sex plastic
>Panic mode engaged
>Race out to the garage and see my so far 2nd worst nightmare coming true.
>The rotting fermented piss that has been baking in the heat for 2 months has started to leak/drain from the 10+ gallons of piss jugs stored out there
>Don't even know where to begin to clean this up
>Text landlady asking if she or her parents plan on being around any time soon
>She texts back no, that her dad is taking them on an alaskan cruise for a couple weeks
>Sigh of relief
>call mom
>ask her for money
>she asks what for
>tell her that I found a job opportunity but it's far away and i need cab fare and a hotel for 1 night
>she sends me $500 check
>laff
>decide to use money for pissjug cleanup, food, and some vidya
Couple weeks later while I'm cleaning...
>garage door open
>working pretty hard
>a wild mexican appears
>ay yo man u know where i can get some work
>u no just day stuff
>no dude i don't, sorry
>ay yo u need some help
>no im fine
>ay i'll clean dis whole mess for $5
>ok great
>pay him $5 and promise him $10 if he does a good job
>1.5 hours later
>knocking at door
>mexican peon announces WERK KOMPLEET
>give him my dollars
>ay yo ur alright if u ever need n e thing done u holla at me
>he gives me his tracphone cell #
>later brown person!
>>24384553
>"later brown person"
alright, lost
>>24384513
Jesus, nobody gives a shit who you are or what your incredible insight and commentary on this fake autist take could be, just shut the fuck up and let the thread continue.
>>24384606
here is your you newfriend :)
>>24384553
>As we get into the middle of summer things are getting really hot and I am low on money. I have $100 to my name, and enough food for a week at the most. I estimate with being frugal and eating conservatively I can lost another month
>ask mom for more money
>tells me to fuck off
>call dad
>cant hear me
>gets mom
>tells me to fuck off again
>sigh
>decide it's time to scam on craigslist.
>i have discovered that I can pay the mexican $50 and he will steal as much as possible from local thrift stores and bring it to me
> start to sell shitty/broken electronics to retards on craigslist
>never meet them at my home
> always meet them "near that taco bell"
> start to profit a little bit
>mexican asks if I want to start making real money and shows me what looks like a small bag of sand/salt
>meth
>NOPE
>tell him i dont do drugs
>he says w/e man its cool
>mexican leaves
>sitting at home watching porn
>getin horny
>full moon commeth
>i have a need to breed
>get on craigslist
>>24384629
Drink bleach, tripfag
>>24384648
I wish my life was this interesting..
>>24384648
>no decent trim on craigslist
>invite mexican over for more scamming
>he asks y i dont got a gurl
>tell him im a fag
>he laughs
>i tell him that i had one but she left
>he said his cousin has a quote craving for vanilla end quote
>hmmmmmm
>ask him to introduce us
>he agrees on the condition that if i fuck her i wrap it because she is a ho and has 2 kids from blacks
>not sure if I want to put my dick where Nightkin have
>say fuck it
>he arranges a hook up for us
>we meet a week later...
>>24384730
that mexican guy is a bro
This shit is stupid. I love it.
>>24384730
>we met up at the taco bell ironically enough
>i wanted to do a public meet because if i was going to breed her she needed to trust me
>had to gain the trust by meeting in a public place
>try to have the most boring date ever
>we just walk around
>she is super bubbly
>mexican failed to mention she was 17
>sigh at my frustration because this girl is very fuckable
>some might even say wife material
>she waits on my hand and foot while we chill at my place
>we watch some parks and rec on netflix on my wii and she snuggles up in my lap
>for once i do not initiate sex right away and just cuddle
>after nodding off a couple times she wakes up
>anon im shocked you didnt tryr anything
>i was in your lap and unconcious har har
>yeah i know
>if that ever happened I'd want you to be awake for it and not take advantage
>she calls me stupid and kisses me
>before I can plant my hands on her tits properly she jumps off and says adios
>>24384730
I know where this is going
>OP hits and quits Mexibros cousin
>Hides in his attic to avoid the fury of the fajita
>Mexibros & Co tear the house apart looking for him and find him after OP knocks over a piss jug in the attic
>Beat him senseless and drag him into a boot of a car
>OP writes his mighty endeavours, from mexibros basement as he is chained and can't escape, so his mighty endeavours are not forgotten as he waits execution
This shit can't be real
>>24385013
it isnt, long ass pasta from the old r9k
u really must be stupid to believev any of this shit tho baka
>>24385031
who cares, I haven't heard it and it's pretty fucking funny, true or not
>>24384946
>fake name i will use for mexigal will be Nacho
>Nacho is an integral part of the story.
>remember yesterday when i said the majority of this saga takes place over a year?
>consider that this is only June and we have until mid January until the saga comes to a close
>Nacho and I hit it off and became quite close but she wouldn't let me seal the deal
>no matter how bad i wanted to put sour cream in nacho's taco she wouldn't let me
>this goes on for a few weeks and i just resort to cumming into new places, fueling my weird ritual habits
>first I start to cum in the potted plant we have
>Then i started to cum in the fish aquarium
>Then i ordered some snails off amazon and put them in the potted plant and cum ON them
>Nacho noticed a weird smell and followed it to the tree
>omg anon u have snails growing in ur tree
>wat
>pretend to be shocked
>calmly pick up entire potted plant and walk it out to the street
>throw it in the middle of the road
>its like 12am
>10 minutes later hear a swerve and bang
>someone almost hit it and destroyed my neighbors trash cans
>faglaugh with Nacho
>she kisses me
>this is it
>we retire to my neetnest
>she tells me i am dirty and need a womans touch
>i laugh and put her hand on my white rod
>she calls me papi and i almost squirtle then and there
This is why I come here.
>>24385089
>I didn't have time to build a proper breeding nest
>throw her on my bed
>she is tiny, 90lbs,maybe 4'11.
>as i have mentioned before I am tall and fat, 6'4 and 300lbs
>i suck her neck while she squirms below me
>ay, ay, ay papi jess, jess, i want you inside me
>she wriggles her hips pushing her pelvis against my turbo-rager
>i slide her shirt up
>i dont even need to lube, she has dripped a giant wet spot on my sheet
> she puts a pillow under her butt and scoots up to me
>anon i cant wait anymore
>i press the head of my cock into her pink and brown folds
>for some reason this isn't just physical
>actually like her
>actually want to spend time with her
>press all the way in
>we gently rock against each other for what must be 20 minutes
>white foam around our genitals like when frogs mate
>she starts pissing
>i fart
>she laughs
>i like her pissing on me with me inside her
>try to piss inside her
>lol it dont work
>keep breeding each other like this for 2 hours
>cum inside of her 4 times
>fall asleep afterwards
>i just remembered why she wouldnt bang
>She was on her period and I just bred her during ovulation with no condom, as i was warned about
>oh well
bump
also holy shit op did you have a spick baby
>>24385354
>next day wasn't awkward we sat around and played vidya
>we fucked like bunnies
>mexican stopped by and made awkward jokes and dropped off more stolen loot
>he leaves
>nacho and i are kind of scared that we may be on to something
>she brings up how she peed on me and I farted
>she said stuff like that is fun/funny
>ask her where the fuck her kids are since she is a mom
>she laughs, mexican was trolling me to prevent massive sexing
>she says she isn't stupid enough to have kids at 17/18
>i go uh yesterday
>she laughs again and says she is on depo shot
>suddenly relieved but also sad
>tell her she's cray cray
>spend alot of time together that day
Fast forward to late July
>Nacho and I are technically dating, landlady only stops by briefly to remind me i will have to start paying rent again in december.
>cant complain got almost a full year rent free
>nacho hinting at moving in with me
>Sad that I don't do much devilish stuff anymore
>Ask nacho if she's ever done anything weird like that
>she admits to pissing in her neighbors yard
>omg could it be
I really hope she's pregnant
>>24383408
oh wow, the image is original
>Skip ahead a few months
>Nacho has not been feeling well
>she wants to go to the doctor but no money and no obamacare yet
>i convince her to go anyway
>she finds out she has Ovarian Cancer
>for the first time in my life i am sad, real legit sadness
>we try to cope
>doctors are not hopeful, she waited too long and it spread to her lung
>doctors say without massive treatment/recovery/lung transplant/removel she has about 9-10 months left
>we talk with mexibro the night we find that out
>we literally sit around my living room crying
>pissing and shitting and doing weird shit was the best thing in my life
>it gave me nacho
>decide to stay with nacho
>Nacho goes in for radiotherapy and chemo
>she is very sick
>nacho asks for me to stay with her in hospital
>i sit with her for many weeks
>doctors say unless they get lung donor for both longs this is a done deal
>Nacho writes me a poem that night, and I wake up to the nurses moving in slow motion around her
>she slipped away in the night, heart failure from an infection that traveled to her heart
>have complete mental break
>retreat to the neet-nest and text landlady everything, mexibro is avoiding my calls
>>24385755
no no no
i didnt ask for these feels. not in this thread
>>24385755
what the fuck
i wasn't expecting these fucking feels
>>24385755
Shit just got sad
>>24385755
ive spent last night following your thread laughing and opening eyes wide in disbelief
this night you gave me feels i never asked for
>>24385755
I love when Mexicans die desu
How could you do this to us OP
>>24385755
>wake up a few days after nacho died
>mexibro stapled a note to my door
>dumb mexican could've taped it instead of being a retard
>mexibro had written some very deep things
>says he enjoyed my company and was nice to him and his cousin
>they never had much and never got treated nice by whitey but they liked me
>mexibro says adios for good, cant stand to see me
>reminder of her death
>no funeral invite we were secret lovers
>her family never even met be besides mexibro
>for the first time, consider suicide
>not pathetic emo suicide
>life is over because soulmate is gone suicide
>finally had someone to make piss super soakers, shit knives and blood puddles in roommates bed with
>she gone forever
>into that dark night
>i want to go into the dark with her
>Gaze ye now upon the precipice of nothing and behold the infinite. The darkness consumes us all as we give ourselves to it and in that consumption we are relieved. The bondage of life and pain eternal is broken, shattered and ruined. Such ruination burns with the fury of release.
>sit alone in my neet nest, after parents ignore my calls
>sit alone in my neet nest after nacho is gone
>sitting alone in my neet nest because all I had was me.
that summer sucked
>Fall approaches....
>>24385911
type faster i want to get over those feels i never asked to feel
>>24385911
>two months after nacho's shell was discarded in the earth I get a text
>not a normal text
>A text from Charlotte the self aborting blimp
>how she got through I didn't understand
>until i stopped being retarded
>Yep she got a new number and this gon b gud
>instantly dumping mental trauma on me
>not blaming
>just dumping
>being used as emotional tampon
>feed her responses with
>yep
>mmhmm
>oh no
>rully
Then she mentions she has 2 kids already
>or at least she did
>turns out she attempted suicide after her babortion
>turns out she blames herself for everything
>turns out she went temp crazy and landed herself in a mental hospital
>turns out her kids got taken away
>turns out she is annoying me with her shit
OP, thank you for making me feel.
In all my years on this board.
Fucking hell man.
Nacho is forever in our hearts
>>24386068
>i somehow convince her that talking to me will only land her back in the hospital
>told her to cut her losses
>she asks me to marry her
>warn her to stop or i call hospital on her
>Never hear from her again
The loss of nacho has taken its toll, i lost some weight and started to completely pull away from the world.
>Mexibro still MIA. No trace on facebook/myspace/mexispace/gardening websites
>close that chapter of my life
>Getting dangerously close to having to come up with money again
>try to come up with a new scam/plot to not have to work/sustain myself
>decide to move cross country
>decide to move in with a girl i met on WoW
>this can't possibly go wrong
>I spend my last $300 on a plane ticket to the west coast
>I leave 1 week before I must vacate or start paying rent
OCTOBER
>having a free pass to do whatever you want as a psychotic neet with a gaurenteed escape pod is a bad thing
>decide to full on indulge in anything
>get drunk almost every night
>go through 4 jars of peanut butter over the next few weeks getting the neighbor dog to give me bjs
Charlotte is back? This is heading south
>>24386207
OH SHIT NIGGERS WHAT ARE YOU DOING YOU'LL KILL THE DOG
nacho's cheese wasn't meant to be
>>24386207
>continue my descent into madness
>decide to really fuck with someone
>Scam goodwill cashier
>Steal $75 in cash from the register when back turned
>Lay low
>have casual conversation with landlady via text
>probe her to find out where exactly she and her bf live
>find out that the house he lives in is actually his grandmas and she lives on the upstairs floor alone due to dementia/craziness
>he is her "caretaker"
>the time is now
>take the bus over to his place
>Go hang out at a bar in walking distance until about 1am
>Walk to his place
>Confirm they not home/hope they are still out partying
>Climb on dumpster
>Hope back window is unlocked
>Walk calmly to where they poison each other's souls
>Climb on the bed
>Squat
>massive grumpy deployed on their fresh sheets
>put blanket over it
>waffle stomp/smear
>notice he has pet lizard
>Put lizard in bed
>notice he has game posters
>freak out/rip them off the walls
>piss into the top of his PC case, hear crackling and popping
>hear a soft knock at the door
>oh shit must be crazy grandma
>open the door suddenly and yell BOO
>instant piss and shit on floor, i run away, fall out window and into dumpster
>run 2 blocks away and call a cab
>expensive but fast
>Wait to hear the aftermath
>>24386557
fucking god damn nigger you should write a movie script about your life even if this is played way up i'd fucking watch it
>>24386557
i am staying up second night in a row just to read this, not even mad ill be dying in my job tomorrow
>>24386688
Same bro got a 9am lecture..
>>24386557
>hear nothing from her in a few weeks until mid november
>she talks to me about leaving and that its sad
>tell her it is and i wish things were different
>she says her parents want to throw me a thank you dinner/thanksgiving since they know i am alone
>gee thanks
>agree on the condition that it be before december 1st because my flight is that weekend.
Pls keep going
RIP Nacho
Moar. This is making the work day less boring!
Fake and gay like OP.
>>24386819
who cares you fucking doublenigger
>>24386730
>they invite me to their family home 30 miles away in the subburbs
>get ready
>pack my things
>neet nest has been disassembled/destroyed
>landlady helps me move my non-trash items into storage
>gives me a kiss that night
>Driving to her parents place
>She says she has to make a detour because she forgot something
>weird ass side road in the sticks
>Pulls off the road
>goes for my crotch and starts to open my pants up
>ok
>she sucks me off right then and there
>admits that there is no dinner
>asks me to stay with her
>wants me to fug her again
>wants my baby inside her
>totally apalled
>imagine nacho watching this from space-heaven
>remember there is no such thing
>sigh of relief
>groan like an old man trying to shit
>muh dik vomits sperm into her mouth
>she swallows it and smacks her lips
>having second thoughts about my flight
>ask her wtf that was
>A bj dummy
>no i mean...what about Chad
>What about your family
>my parents dont know about any of this
>i only aborted that baby because it was chads
>we never got back together
>i stayed with my parents to recover from the babortion
>i wish it was yours
>i wanted that little parasite to grow into another you anon
>devastated
>relieved it wasn't mine
>pissed off that my balls didnt do their job
>consider punching self in balls
>nevermind
>>24386880
tell me you didn't go back to her anon
>imagine nacho watching this from space-heaven
Bye
>>24386880
>tell land lady i cant
>tell her i need a new start
>explain entire exact situation with Nacho
>land lady understands but is sad
>tell her to come with me
>she says no
>sad
>we go back to my place
>fug once more
>she promises that she'll drive me to the airport in the morning.
The next day...
>I get on my flight and begin my adventure on the west coast. I fantasize about a meteor or nuke destroying wisconsin/midwest as I fly over it.
>Little did I know that the biggest adventure yet was about to occur in Spokane
>Preview mode: Massive property damage, another babortion, police involvement with something and more
If anyones interested I will do my next Saga tomorrow.
>>24386970
Do it, I gotta stay entertained at work
Just pre type it though
>>24386970
yes, you better fucking do it you fat weird faggot
>>24386970
Someone make a screenplay of this
First saga was way better but this was still pretty good
>>24386970
K same time same place
I will do it earlier if desired. I will write it out before hand, I will have to, as things in Spokane got way crazier. I let go completely.
>Will post again at 3pm central
I really hope someone has been screencapping this
>>24387084
I look foward to it, you tell a good story my friend
>>24386970
This is why I still browse /r9k/ anon. This is a great contribution ;)
I fucking love it thank u so much anon you are a legend. i cant wait to see more
This guy doesn't belong on /R9k/. He belongs in Valhalla.
holy fuck, by far the most fucked up story ive ever read on this site
who screencaped the first round, please share, i was feeling pretty sad today, and reading this put a smile on my face ,thanks OP for sharing this with us.
>>24388984
Is here pal
>>24383069
Anon you are a god among men
My fucking god. This is the best thing I have ever read on this website.
10 out of fucking 10 anon, you are a god.
Moar faggot, I need moar. Plz post tomorrow.
>>24387084
OP I want you to know that reading this was the most enjoyable thing in my life since about 2 years.
OP this thread is great, definitely wins the best thread of 2015.
