>be me
>be quietly turned on by the BRAAAAAAP meme images.
>hot girls ass? What's not to like?
>tell my gf I want to start doing more stuff sexually when she's gassy
>she's really creeped out by it and it takes 2-3 weeks for her to come along to the idea
>she has to be kinda drunk too
>one night after a big plate of deunken noodels she drinks 3 glasses of wine and starts to fool around
>ohboyherewego.wmv
>she farts 20 minutes into it and my face was near her vagina
Robots, it was the worst shut I've ever experienced. I swallowed half of her fart and had to stop fooling around
She's really embarrassed and pissed at me now.
Fuck this meme
>>24121529
He actually did it. The absolute madman! HAHAHAHAHAHA
It was truly awful. It lingered in my mouth for what seemed like 30 mins
>>24121529
Ohohoho!
Good story. Thanks for sharing.
When did farts ever smell pleasant, you fucking idiot?
What the hell were you expecting to smell, a bouquet of roses with a hint of sulfur?
>>24122322
congratz you basically got shat straight into your mouth.
You a scatman now brah!
>>24122990
OP here. I want the faggots who get off on this shit to post in this thread. I'm here to tell you, it was life changing bad
>>24121529
>see a lot of scat porn
>seems pretty hot
>decide to do some with my gf
>wtf now there's shit everywhere?
Don't fall for the scat meme bros, it's gross.
>>24121529
Hahaha. Kill yourself
>>24121529
The trick is finding out what should be kept a fantasy, and what you want to make a reality
For example: There's so many prison gays here who would hate actually fucking a "trap" if they were in a position to. Doesn't stop them fantasizing though
>>24123534
>what are you going to do when she tells her friends?
>>24121529
holy shit well congratulation
*PFFFFFFBFBBFBBBBBBBBBBT*
you just arent man enough to handle it, op. your gf deserves better. i bet you dont even like to lick feet or armpits, or drink her period blood, your too much of a normie
You flew too close to the sun m8
Start off by having her fart AROUND you more. Then graduate to dutch ovens (my fave) and then MAYBE move on to face farts (I have to be REALLY turned on for those)
also BRAAAAPPP
>>24121529
Most grills are so insanely self conscious about poop and farts I had a gf once who would literally poop like every 3 days and I heard her fart once and she was like cripplingly embarrassed by her relase it didn't smell though just kind of sounded like some pulled a zipper very hard she look like a deer in the headlights and said "anon, let's pretend that never happened" I even went under the covers to smell it because her poop schedule was so mysterious I just had to know because I know when I don't shit for a while and I'm talking hours here, my gas is absolutely rotten surprisingly she had no scent I smelled my moms poop post shit once, it smelled like milk. Girls and farts/poop is generally uncharted territory however I did know a grill once who enjoyed farting and especially talking about it, this same girl sent a buddy of my mine a pic of her fisting her bum and this was in 9th grade I think she was butt fetishist though because she often talked about how if she constipated herself and went poo she could have an orgasm upon relase
>>24123763
You literally used one period in that entire rambling, disgusting diatribe.
>>24123622
I almost set up a date with one and was more and more grossed out the closer it came into fruition, like oh shut, man breath, man skin, Ew. Luckily he was a picky slut and stopped responding.
I wish I had a gf who would fart and poop on me
>>>7647616
GTFO faggots
>>24123624
OP here.
I'm pretty sure she will wait for awhile till that happens. But if she gets drunk again and blabs about it, all bets are off
>>24123622
This, exactly this. Like 80% of the shit I masterbate too, I would not want to try in real life.
>>24124003
I have one that keeps messaging me every saturday when he's drunk, desperate for my cummies. I'm a big dude with a hairy chest and I guess that's his fetish. Haven't responded in months, but he was fun to flirt with.
Our relationship was pretty much the manifestation of my alcoholism. Not much of a drinker anymore.
>>24121529
>BRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPHHLORP
>UH OH ANON
>>24123763
This person is not white.
>tfw bf gets on top of me and squeezes out farts
>tfw no gf to explore mypeefetish with
>>24125444
Huey is a qt, no pedo.
>>24125444
I would be totally down in the shower but nowhere else.
anybody else /pissedalloverthemselvesintheshower/ here?
>>24125653
Also I say this because I pissed in a tupperware container when i was a kid and left it in my basement and the next time i opened it the smell made me gag and pass out so i'm always skeptical when it comes to piss
>>24121529
OP got memed
>>24121529
You're right OP, other people's farts are nasty.
>>24121529
At least your girlfriend doesn't have a blood fetish. And I don't mean scratching or menstruation, I mean BLOOD.
>>24121529
You goofed really hard here, son.
You don't go from 0-100 for something like this; you need to submerge yourself into it.
First, just comment when she farts in front of that's it's not a big deal. Once she gets comfortable farting in front of you, and you're used to what they smell like, then you comment about how it turns you on when she farts.
From here, you start encouraging her to fart more often in front of you. If she's into you, she'll play along with it; she's already comfortable farting in front of you anyway.
(This part I guess comes with luck)
When I was fucking my girl doggy style, she farted, and immediately froze, in what I guess was embarrassment. I started fucking her even harder. After we finished, I told her how much that turned me on and she shouldn't be embarrassed. She had to fart a few more times during sex before I would be able to get her to commit to what I want: her farting in my face, with her asshole inches from my face. When it finally happened, it was truly glorious.
You don't just go from no gas to sucking a fart out of her asshole. You need to take baby steps; you took a giant step and fell right on your face.
*FFFFFFFFFTPFTPFTPF POOT POOT SKIDDLY DOOT BBFFFFFFFFFARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRPPPPPPPPPP SPEEEEEEEE LFFTTFTRTFTRFTRFTRFTRFTFTRFRT!!!!*
>>24123668
This anon is the right one.
>>24123668
Parp
